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Your Twenties
Your twenties are divided between this constant notion of comparing yourself to others and being yourself. Do you have the right job? Are you wearing the right clothes? You want to stay in and watch your favorite movie or read your favorite book, but your FOMO is leading you to the bar. You then wake up Sunday morning wishing you would have stayed in. How do you discern between what you want and what your mind is telling you to do?
Balance. It’s something we all strive for, yet never can quite find the right formula. Jobs, school, family and friends are pulling us in a million different directions that we become paralyzed. How do we cure our FOMO yet still do what our heart truly desires.
Bad news: I️t can’t be done.
Good news: The FOMO is something our mind controls. Take it from me, I️ have been to the bars, the parties, the concerts that I️ really didn’t want to go to, but I️ knew if I️ didn’t go, I️ would regret I️t. Almost 99% of those nights nothing notable happened. The nights I️ stayed in, nothing notable happened either. I️ didn’t get texts saying how much I️ missed out on. The texts I️ did get was how hungover my friend’s were, but they had a blast! I️ felt sad because I️ wasn’t there, but healthy because I️ didn’t chain smoke cigarettes or poison my body with alcohol. I️ awoke clear headed and ready to take on the day.
What I️ learned though, is that there isn’t a right or wrong path. If you go out, I’m sure you’re going to have fun! You’re probably going to make bad decisions that you wished you could take back the next morning. But so what? We are young and this is our time. If you stay in, you’re probably going to regret not going out and having fun with your friends. But, you’re most likely going to wake up feeling good about yourself and happy.
Neither way is right or wrong. They’re different. My advice is to go both paths. Go have some regretful weekends that you won’t remember! Go have some weekends where you make yourself into a recluse and curl up with a good book or movie. Either way, live YOUR life. Don’t succumb to what others want. Live how you want and be happy. We aren’t here for very long, so enjoy every last smile, laugh, and tear. Don’t regret anything. Every choice molds us into who we are supposed to be. Be yourself and I️ promise the world will open its doors.
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Peace is being present and mindful of every moment; even in the midst of chaos.
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push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.
push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.
get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.
stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.
buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.
buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.
strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.
organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.
have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.
push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.
message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.
think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.
become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.
lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.
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Friends and family say I’m hard to buy for… So what do I do? I’ve made a series of posts with nerdy gifts so they don’t have an excuse!
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The fact that Luna is a Ravenclaw and Hermione is a Gryffindor is super important to me.
Like Hermione could easily have been a Ravenclaw if we just went by her passion for knowing things. But simply knowing things isn’t all intelligence is. Intelligence doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with how “book smart” someone is. You have to be willing to look outside the box and use what you know in a useful way. That’s the creative, wise, open-minded aspect of Ravenclaw that seems to get overlooked.
And the one thing that I think got in Hermione’s way was her fear of failure. A fear of being wrong. And being wrong is part of the learning experience and it’s not something that I feel a Ravenclaw would be afraid of but instead they’d expect it and welcome whatever revelations came from it. A Gryffindor can’t afford to be wrong because if they are going to do something brave and daring then failure could have terrible consequences.
Luna on the other hand is someone who might not be very good academically at all. We don’t know for sure. But her way of looking at the world is so unique and seemingly impossible. She’s creative and open to new ideas and accepting of other people’s differences which is the ideal attitude to have for learning. When she answered the question to get into Ravenclaw tower, the knocker did not say she was right or wrong, rather it said “well reasoned” which suggests that maybe there doesn’t have to be one definite correct answer because HOW she came to her conclusion is what mattered. How often do you think her professors gave her correct marks on essays and things because she wasn’t “technically” wrong? How would they have made it to the Department of Mysteries in OOTP if she hadn’t suggested they fly on Thestrals when half of the group couldn’t even see them? Her ability to see what others couldn’t is how they solved that particular problem and that’s part of what Ravenclaw is all about.
Ravenclaws don’t necessarily do something simply because it’s logical, but they use logic to do something better than everyone else. That’s the difference between Hermione and Luna to me.
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on my first date with happiness,
i decided i had enough of
oversized black tshirts and loose black jeans
so i threw on a yellow sundress,
which i found after passing through my closet
like a raging hurricane;
as always, i was running late.
on my first date with happiness,
i decided i was going to let her
fall in love with my natural self
so i put down my concealer, mascara, lipstick and eyeliner.
and i ornament myself with rings and necklaces,
a spray of flowery, sweet perfume.
on my first date with happiness,
i decided i was going to let her in
so i told her my everything,
i was afraid, of course but
i knew i would have to, at least,
give her a chance
to get to know me,
i would have to give my tired self a chance
to stop being a fucking liar.
on my first date with happiness,
i said:
“hey, my name is sadness. but
i want to learn to be happy again.”
on my first date with happiness,
i let a little bit of life
reach my insides
after a whole long time
of having myself
against myself.
on my first date with happiness.
(via sunsetico)
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One of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite books!
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Spread kindness and love, and your heart will be filled with warmth.
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