cylidaeold - Tumblr blog

cylidaeold · 10 months

Text

Okay, here is an explanation of Kota's hyperfixations that nobody asked for! So, essentially, the characters I connect with are technically from media, but I spin them into my own thing. Essentially, what I do is write them as if everything that happened in canon did actually happen, but there's a whole 'nother more interesting plot line going on behind the scenes. I pretty much always give them abusive parents, S/A trauma, and a dead loved one (usually a sibling for some reason). This is projection (except for the sibling thing. I'm an only child, why do I do that?). I adopt these characters as my own. I build them lore, redesign them to fit my perception, and even commission art of them. I had Charm uploaded to Toyhouse for a while because I knew nobody had read Story Thieves, so I could get away with it.

Obviously, anybody who knows me knows that I adore Peter. He's definitely the character with the most lore out of any of them. He's probably my favorite character from anything ever, but my other babies aren't actually too far behind him, despite what you may think. Let's make a list, shall we?

THE HIGH COUNCIL

These are the ones where I could probably be clinically diagnosed as obsessive for. I adore them more than words can express.

-Peter (Divergent):

The ultimate baby. Come on, you know I adore this little gremlin. I write about him constantly, and he has too many AUs for me to keep track of. If I were to switch up some of the other Divergent character's names, I could genuinely pass him off as my OC at this point. I adopted him as a hyperfixation in 6th grade (When I was 10), so he's been my ultimate baby boy for five years. (I read Divergent before that point, but I didn't think much of him then.)

-Charm (Story Thieves):

My first fictional crush and gay awakening. I don't know why I love her so much. Maybe because she was the first deeply tragic character that I ever got to read about. Maybe because her beating up people just made me giggle. Maybe because she's just kind of hot. Either way, I took on Charm as a hyperfixation very early on in life. I remember being in third grade and seeing somebody with a Story Thieves book and thinking "Oh, I read those books a while ago! I like Charm!" so it was a few years before I was eight. Five or six, maybe? Either way, she was my first obsession, and I love her dearly.

-Courtney (Total Drama):

Ah, Courtney. The subject of almost as much of my fanfiction as Peter. She's a complicated one to talk about for me. I remember I first watched Total Drama three or four years ago, but I wasn't obsessed with Courtney then. I remember that she was my favorite character, but that's about as far as my affections went. That changed when I started getting involved in the Total Drama fandom space. I'm struggling to define exactly what changed about her for me. I liked the good Catholic girl persona the fanbase gave her, the numerous daddy issues, and her chemistry with Duncan. It was all just fun. I ended up getting a burning desire to rewatch the show, so I did. It was only about six months ago that I really took her on as a hyperfixation, but my traumadumping on her pushed her to the top.

THE TOP BLORBOS

Little guys who I love, but don't think about constantly. I'll draw them every so often and give them a bit of lore, but mostly they're just little guys that I like a lot.

-Shawn (Total Drama):

I have no explanation for this one. I think watching so much Total Drama just got to my head, and I latched onto a random character. Either way, there's no excuse for the three times I've fully rendered this man and the math book that is filled with sketches of him. I mean filled in the truest sense possible. I drew him in so many places that I ran out of space to fit even the smallest Shawn.

-Clove + Cato (Hunger Games):

Again, I don't have much of an explanation for this one. I just think that they're a lot of fun. I love the idea of them falling in love either before the games or during them, and it's such a tragic love story. I want to write an AU where one (or both) of them wins the games.

-Cassidy (And maybe Dick) (Veronica Mars):

I just love a tragic villain, and Cassidy fits that role to a T for me. I love him dearly, and think that there would have been so much potential had he stayed alive. Dick's reaction to his death is heartbreaking and added a new dimension to this, frankly, 0-dimensional character.

-???:

Who is it? What is it? I don't know. I can't put it into words. The things that bring forth this feeling, though, are Dream SMP, that biblically accurate angel god from Cult of the Lamb, and a few of my friend's OCs. I've tried to create and find characters that fit this strange feeling, but I can't. It's always out of reach, but I'm still fond of it despite "it" not being anything.

THE ANCIENTS:

These are my children, who I've lost interest in but obsessed over for years. I still think about them and am still fond of them, but they aren't obsessions or anything close to that anymore.

-Cat (OC)

Perhaps the only OC on this list. Cat was my main OC and all that I thought about for several years, but I just fell out of love with them eventually. Now they bring up some bad memories for me, and I'm happy to leave them in storage.

-Susie (Deltarune): I like women who can beat me up! This one lasted around a year. She was my homescreen on my phone and computer for a while, and I got my cousins to fall in love with her too. She's just a fun character. I don't think about her much anymore, but she's still one I'm attached to.

-Jamilton (Ship, Hamilton the musical):

Look, I'm not proud of this one, but it would be deceptive to not include it. I've read more of this pairing on ao3 than any others, I have fanart that will never see the light of day, and I thought about them constantly for over two years. I still have a soft spot for this ship, but it's not an obsession anymore (thank God).

-Darkstalker (Wings of Fire):

Ohhhh boy. I had the biggest crush on this stupid dragon for years and years. The longest out of anybody on this list, if I'm being honest. I was a horrible Darkstalker defender for a while, and actually built a dedicated shrine in my room for him. He kind of gives me the ick now because of all this.

-Varian (Tangled the Series):

BABY BOY! Honestly, I'm tempted to just spam baby boy and let it devolve into keyboard smashing, because that is the only way to describe how I feel about this character. The little guy!

-Tom (Star Versus the Forces of Evil): He's the only reason I watched the show. My first watchthough of it was actually just me reading which episodes he's in on Wikipedia and then only watching those. Was I confused? Yes. But I loved him!

-Finleap (Warriors): I can't explain this at all. I just thought he was cute in AVoS, so he became my favorite warrior cat. He still is, but mostly because of nostalgia. He takes up zero braincells now, to be honest.

-Tax (Hunger Games):

This one is a joke... I think. He's a character that gets one mention throughout the entire series. I thought it'd be funny to call him my favorite character so that everybody was like "Who?" but I ended up with actual backstory ideas. Either way, I love him.

THE FLEETING

Characters that I obsessed over for around a week to a few months, then it faded. I'm still fond of most of them.

-Red Son (LEGO Monkie Kid):

What a silly little man! I really like him! That's all I can really say. I've written him some AUs, and I just had fun whenever he was on the screen. He's a good time.

-Bea (Night in the Woods):

She's just well-written. I like shipping her with Mae, too. She's a cool character, and I still have a bit of a crush. She feels so realistic and a bit tragic.

-Klaus (Umbrella Academy): Traumatized gay drug addict? Count me in! He's the only one in this section with his own fleshed-out backstory written by me. I think about him the most out of everybody in this section and still really love him.

THE APPRENTICES

Characters that I'm building an obsession with, but they aren't quite there yet.

-Narinder, Baal and Aym (Cult of the Lamb): Just a demon dad and his babies! I'm giving this one a few months before I really consider it an obsession, but I do really love them!

-Ethan (Never Have I Ever):

What a silly man! He's hot, and you know I love the bad boys. This could just be a fleeting emo boy thing, or we could have a deeper connection. We'll see.

THE SIDEKICKS

These are characters that I only like in relation to another character.

-Duncan (Total Drama):

Only with Courtney. They have the most fun dynamic of pretty much any ship. I really love them together, and Duncan's fun with her.

-Pretty much every Divergent character:

I love them in relation to Peter! Especially Caleb and Molly. I like most of these characters fine on their own, but I love the Peter dynamics.

-Mae (Night in the Woods): She's a great and relatable character, but I honestly only like her to ship with Bea.

-Kris (Deltarune):

Is Kris even a character at all? They're just kind of the player. Either way, I ship them with Susie and I love it.

-Jasmine (Total Drama): I just like the idea of Shawn having a buff, tall girlfriend who doesn't understand him whatsoever. It's funny and cute.

THE UNWORTHY

Characters that were so close to being an obsession, but I lost interest just a bit too quickly for them to make a lasting impact.

-Logan (Veronica Mars): Okay, he's definitely my favorite of this group. He's such a funny little guy. Such a traumatized man, and it's hilarious that he keeps beating up people for Veronica. He's such a good boy, no matter what the show wants you to think.

-Hunter (The Owl House):

He's my favorite from the show, but I never connected to him on that deep level. I don't look at him and think of headcanons, I just look at him and think "Oh, he's neat."

-JD and Veronica (Heathers):

This is different from the others in this section because the interest never faded. I love them just as much now as I did a few years ago. It could never cross the obsession threshold, though.

-Anne Boleyn and Katherine Howard (SIX): Yes, I am aware of K. Howard's real name, but I'm talking about the Six version here. They're just fun little traumatized gals who I ultimately couldn't fall in love with for whatever reason. Maybe because they're real people, and adding trauma seems weird.

-Princess Carolynn + Sara Lynn (Bojack Horseman): Both of these have a similar vibe. I love them and think that they're incredible characters, but the show is so good that there's nothing I can do with them. There's no way to break them further, no way to improve their story. They're just great.

-Kitty (Glee):

This may be a joke. I don't know at this point. She does have some trauma points going for her, so that's something. I just think the idea of this woman nearly murdering her classmate by purposely giving her an eating disorder, showing no remorse, waiting until they're about to die to confess, then immediately being forgiven, and the whole situation never being brought up again is really funny. She is absolutely awful, and I love her for it.

-Newt (Mazerunner):

When I was watching the Mazerunner movies, I was bored out of my mind. None of the characters had any... well- character. So jokingly, I said "Newt's my favorite character because at least he has a cool accent." Fast forward three movies and I'm sobbing over his death. Somewhere, my joke attachment became real attachment, and I don't know how.

-Connor (Dear Evan Hansen):

Emo boy! What else is there to say, really?

-Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel):

Once again, emo boy! He's got trauma and shit. Trauma and shit is relatable and a nice coping mechanism.

-Harley Quinn (DC):

I connect with abuse victims. What else is there to say, really? Her story resonated with me.

-Minthe (Greek Mythology):

This one is basically an OC because she's got one mention in Greek myths. Again, this is a connecting to abuse victims thing. I really starting loving her after Lore Olympus, though. I read it and thought "Fuck you, that's a messed up portrayal of this poor woman," and vowed to write her better. I still have some comic book pages of that, actually.

-Every character from Hadestown:

This is the best musical I've ever seen, and the relationships are so fun. I'm invested in Hades and Persephone as well as Orpheus and Eurydice.

-Dee and Heavy (Metal Family):

I just like their dynamic. Plus, Dee is an emo boy. You know the drill at this point.

-Feather (OC):

My DND character. He's very fleshed out (over forty pages of lore). I really wanted to force myself to love him, but I just couldn't. There was a stretch where I was very fond of him, though.

-Torpedo (OC):

This was a character in an old roleplay game I did with my friends when we were little. I still really love most of these characters, but it's more of a nostalgic connection at this point.

-FTSRTD cast (OC):

I had fun with most of the cast, but I never connected to any as much as I did Cat. There was a period where Ezra was my favorite, but that passed quickly.

-Asriel (Undertale):

I don't know why he's so far down. This kid is fun and I wish I could save him. I've listened to every His Theme cover in existence, and I still crave more.

#help im insane

1 note · View note