darklordgorblax

[darklordgorblax]

DAE have their weird musings play out as dialogue in a tropey movie scene?

Some Bond/Batman Villain: Ok, Mr Hero, I'll give you a chance. I'll flip a coin, and if you correctly guess the result I'll let everyone go. What will it be? Heads, or Tail?

Bondman: You monster! I choose heads, but I'll have your head for this!

V: Wrong! But that was a little bit unfair, wasn't it? So random! I'll give you another chance. Tell me, what is the probability that the coins came up heads? Answer correctly, and I'll follow through with letting everyone go.

B: That's obvious, if it's a fair coin, there's a 50% chance. You're not cheating are you?

V: How dare you!! I always play by the rules. Nevertheless, you're wrong again! I already told the result was not heads, so there is a 0% chance that it was. You fool!

*Maniacal laughter while pulling the giant lever* *Bondman swoops in and saves everyone anyway*

#shower thoughts #writing trope #math #philosophy

[darklordgorblax]

Zooey Zephyr

Gender: Transgender woman

Sexuality: Bisexual

DOB: 29 August 1988

Ethnicity: White - American

Occupation: Politician (Democrat), activist

Note: One of the first trans woman to be elected to the Montana legislature

[darklordgorblax]

I had a bit of a moment when I realized that "freedom" isn't a core part off my worldview. Not that I think individual freedom is bad or anything, it's just not foundational. It's more of a means to an end.

It was just a bit of a shock for me as an American, because I'm so surrounded by rah rah freedom go 24/7. It really makes sense though once I thought about it. After all, if "your freedom ends where your fist meets my face," there is obviously at least something that we value above individual freedom.

My core values are 1) Humanitarianism, 2) Democracy, and 3) Utilitarianism. In that priority order. Freedom is just not on the list! It certainly serves all three of them to various degrees, but if individual freedom in a given case is getting in the way of those other values, I'll gladly sacrifice it as needed.

Personally, I think this realization makes it much easier to think about "when is it ok to infringe on someone's freedom." If some restrictions on free speech make the world a more humanitarian, democratic, and utilitarian world, why should I angst about it. Some people like to imagine something as straightforward as taxation is a violation of their freedoms. I no longer need to argue that it's not, because I just don't care.

Some additional spice to this line of thinking comes from self-determination theory. The theory says that there are three core needs that humans need to feel happy and satisfied with life: Mastery, Autonomy, and Relatedness. It's a very common misconception that Autonomy means Freedom here.

Freedom can certainly aid with a sense of autonomy, but they are subtly different feelings. Freedom is the idea that you can do what you want, autonomy on the other hand means that you want to do what you are doing, and that what you do matters. In this way a slave could feel autonomy if everything they must do is what they want to do in the first place. At the same time existing in a dull world where you have perfect freedom to do anything you want, but there exists nothing that you want to do(and nothing you do really matters) would still leave you craving more autonomy.

So to put a final point on the subject. Like many values we take for granted, and assume to be inherent rights, calls for freedom ought to be supported by something else. I don't think everyone needs to share my top 3 values, but I now think that the burden of defending freedom in a given case is on those pushing for it, because on it's own it just doesn't hold up.

#philosophy #freedoom #human rights

[darklordgorblax]

Pride = Inclusivity + Consent. There's no right or wrong way to love and be yourself. You don't have to match everyone else's vibe, but you do have to help us all celebrate everyone living their life out loud!

As we come upon the gay month, here is a friendly reminder about something because it comes up literally every year for me. In general and around this time.

If you see a post that is about or includes positivity about kink and sex and sexuality, please don’t comment “ewww sex” or “this !!! but without the sex part”.

And this is not to say you have to like sex. I am well aware that this heteronormative society places way too much emphasis on sexual chemistry in relationships. And that there are plenty of people who don’t experience sexual attraction, sexual enjoyment, or are sex repulsed. And that’s okay. And society shouldn’t be putting the pressure on you to want or enjoy sex.

This is to say that enjoying and indulging in sex and sexuality is a very important part to tons of communities, and it would be very helpful to not chime in on sex positive posts saying you don’t like sex. It’s almost like a “don’t yuck my yum” thing. ‘Cause like. I’ve noticed a ton of LGBTQ+ people feel the need to hide the sexual part of their identity. And emphasize “actually my relationships are totally emotionally fulfilling” but keep the sex part hush hush. And they shouldn’t have to avoid expressing sexual joy if they don’t want to. They should get to go “I fucked someone NASTY” or like “I masturbated in such a gender euphoric way” without feeling like they’re gross. ‘Cause they’re not! That’s awesome!

And it isn’t appropriate to go on posts celebrating and caring for people not having sex or not desiring sex or being sex repulsed and say “omg but what if you had sex” or “but sex is so good though!!!”.

Let’s all celebrate our experiences with sex and sexuality, whether sex is something we have and crave or not and not step on each other’s toes. ‘Cause we’re not supposed to be each other’s enemies. Infighting is a weapon oppressors use against us. So let’s all celebrate instead.

[darklordgorblax]

The thing is, I'm always 100% Gay

One of the common "I'm not homophobic, but..." lines about media representation is all this forced diversity. You know, realistically only X% of people are minority Y, so really we're entering this space of overrepresentation. It's unrealistic. It's tokenism. It's blah, blah, blah...

Ok look. I don't really care what percentage of the general population is gay (in the same way I suspect that you don't really care either). 100% of me is gay. Every piece of media I consume will be viewed through the lens of my personal experiences. So respectfully, shut the fuck up! You are not oppressed. There will always be media for you to consume that represents you and your lived experiences. Me being part of a minority population doesn't immediately follow that a majority of media should erase people like me.

I'm not even saying that 100% of media should be queer. It's just that what we're after was never reality; it's representation. I'm just tired. I've seen a kajillion movies, and played a kajillion games, where the protagonist runs around being all straight and everything. Then someone has the audacity to claim that modern media has an unrealistic number of gay people? Why do I have to suck up the discomfort that virtually every action hero has a straight romance side plot, but audiences still get squeamish about an on screen m/m kiss? "So now the perception is, yes, women are here to stay. And when I'm sometimes asked when will there be enough [women on the supreme court]? And I say when there are nine, people are shocked." - Ruth Bader Ginsburg

#representation matters #lgbtq #make everything queer

[darklordgorblax]

Why does Mass Effect hate Gay Men?

So, I know I'm pretty late to the party, and plenty of people have said it better, but I've finally been getting around to playing the Mass Effect games, and I can't sleep until I get this out there. Also, apologies that I'm all over the place. It all just adds up, you know?

Disclaimer: There is a lot to really like about Mass Effect. This isn't a review, just an attempt to voice a frustration.

Where to start? I first played Mass Effect in ~2010. I was in college, and still very repressed pretending that homosexuality is totally a choice. Like most people, I imagine, I really appreciated the way that I could tailor Shepherd to my vision. He wasn't a blank slate self-insert, but had just enough flexibility that it was really easy to slip into that skin and imagine I was a badass commander out saving the galaxy.

Then the end happened and Ashley raped me. Obviously with Shepherd it was consensual, but for me identifying and connecting with Shepherd it felt deeply violating. I was leaning heavily into Paragon, and genuinely thought I was just being a good nice person. I had hardly ever spoken with Ashley, and I didn't think I had said anything particularly suggestive that was the direction I wanted to go. As a result I swore off everything Mass Effect for over a decade.

I've grown a lot since then. It's finally time to give it a fair shake. I still don't want any unpleasant surprises, so I did a bunch of research to figure out what I want to do about romance. Of course I ran into the same problem that every gay man playing Mass Effect runs into. Where are the m/m romance options? It's fine though. I decide I'm going to save myself for Gay Kaiden, and honestly it's very poignant. It's frustrating that it took 3 entire games to pay off, but even that worked into the character arc nicely.

So I played through the trilogy, hated the ending, but overall really appreciated the moments I got with Kaiden. It was pretty emotional for me too, just because it made me realize how much I needed that kind of representation. It was a catharsis to the trauma of being pushed into sleeping with Ashley a decade ago.

Moving on to Andromeda, there's still not nearly enough gay representation, but it's ok. I'm down with Gil. Then there was the scene that set off this spiral. Gil casually mentions that his only friend Jill gives him crap for being a gay genetic dead end. I tell him that's not cool, and he brushes it off. This is deeply uncomfortable, but maybe they salvage it. I have to know more.

End preamble, begin rant: Why does Mass Effect hate Gay Men?

What the ever living fuck. Gil's *entire* character ark is his "best friend" pressuring him into being her baby daddy. The first thing I had to know is who wrote this and are they gay. If they're gay themself, then maybe they're just speaking to personal experience that I happen to find distasteful and unrelatable. I couldn't find out much about the guy, but I suspect not.

So first - To straight writers writing gay characters: Just write them straight. Kaiden was written in such a way that it works either way, and it *works*. Yes, I want gay characters that deal with uniquely gay issues, but I don't trust you. To explore something as deeply personal and fraught as a gay man choosing whether or not to have children and how is not a plotline you just slap together. Just write them straight and then flip the pronouns and descriptors when appropriate.

But now I'm just gah! We've already established they're extremely lacking in the m/m romance options, but let's take a look. Gil and Cortez, the two exclusively gay men. Why are there no gay men party members? For fuck's sake! Every single exclusively gay (and lesbian?) romance option is confined to the ship. Just... I think you already know how fucked up that is, so I'm going to stop.

To move on to character arcs. I've seen people defend this, but frankly shove off. It's like these narratives' primary purpose is to make sure that everyone knows they're gay. It's show don't tell gone horribly, horribly wrong. You want to know how you show that a gay man is gay? Show them flirting with men. You don't need to consume the entire character arc showing how Cortez has a dead husband and Gil might not have children. I can cut Cortez some slack since dead spouse isn't a specifically gay arc, but even the way it's presented just puts way too much emphasis on the "husband" part.

But speaking of specifically gay character arcs... Maybe whether or not to have children isn't specifically to highlight that Gil is gay... Oh wait it totally is. This game is *loaded* with interspecies romances that will never have children. Why is the only relationship where this "problem" is highlighted the one for which it might be deeply traumatic?

I can't talk about interspecies romance without talking about the Asari. Perhaps it's the first problem, but for me it will have to be the last. I know it's been beaten to death, and scrutinized from every angle, but it's just so bad. In many ways the Asari are at the heart of the "Why does Mass Effect hate gay men" problem. A mono-gendered, naturally bisexual species that exists to fetishize lesbians for the benefit of a straight male audience. (Anyone who says they aren't technically female deserves to be punched in the face)

So with that I'll conclude: Bioware owes gay men big time for this travesty. Make a mono-gendered, naturally bisexual species that's coded as male. I dare you.

#mass effect #mshep #gay kaiden #kaiden alenko #gil brodie #representation matters #lgbtq #mass effect hates gay men

[darklordgorblax]

genuinely so fucking tired of people leveraging the "groomer" argument against people who support sex ed because scientific literature over decades shows that comprehensive sex education starting around kindergarten actually prevents children from being sexually abused and groomed because it teaches children the correct words for their body parts and also teaches them concepts of privacy, personal space, bodily autonomy, the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touching, and the fact that sex is something that only adults do. children with this knowledge are not only better equipped to identify abuse and predatory behavior and communicate that its happening to a trusted adult, but also prevent it from happening in the first place by recognizing when something is happening that shouldn't.

sex education does not sexualize children, it prevents children from being sexualized. anyone who is against early foundational sex education and claims they are doing it to protect children is a fucking liar.

[darklordgorblax]

Always reblog Stacy's Dad.

[darklordgorblax]

Try the same freakout, but I'm literally talking on the phone... :'(

[darklordgorblax]

[darklordgorblax]

[darklordgorblax]

Our good boy, greavard and his buddy litwick!

(Also added these two as a mobile wallpaper on my ko-fi)

[darklordgorblax]

[darklordgorblax]

So, Saint-14 and Osiris are story focus again, and therefore people complained about "making them gay" and "why can't it be platonic male bonding" again, and I just... Setting aside that there are *tons* of platonic male bonds in media, here's the deal... The reason we have a cultural aversion to deep, platonic male bonds is homophobia. Like, the reason men are afraid of having these emotional connections with their brothers is because they're afraid of it being gay. Afraid of it being perceived as gay, or gasp them actually being a little bit gay themselves (bi does not exist in their subconscious). When the one in a dozen such relationships turns out to actually be gay and someone asks, "why can't they just be good friends," they're just telling on themselves. See, if that type of relationship never went gay, there would be nothing to be afraid of. There would be nothing gay about close male friendships, and people reading too much into would just be silly-billys. They think the problem is that male friendships are perceived as gay instead of that there's nothing wrong with being perceived as gay. So no, I don't buy your line about seeing them more as "brothers in arms," because them being brothers in arms doesn't conflict in the least with them being gay.

#destiny 2 #gay #saint 14 #destiny osiris

[darklordgorblax]

#they're married okay

[darklordgorblax]

rb to have a super gay 2023

[darklordgorblax]