daydreams-to-nightmares

[daydreams-to-nightmares]

The Feelings of a 19 year old

One.

I’m not really sure how to start this post. I’ve been a dreamer for a long time now, but lately my life has just felt like a huge nightmare (thus the username). College is difficult and I don’t really like it all that much. It’s not what it’s hyped up to be. People think you’re going to make all these amazing friends, and go to all these amazing ragers, but to be honest that’s not the truth. It’s only the truth if you are a part of a fraternity or sorority because that’s literally their life. For someone who is not a part of the greek life, it is kind of boring and beige. You have to be an extremely extroverted person to make friends when you are not a part of something. 

Being a part of something IS something I have always wanted, but I’ve never felt like I have belonged anywhere. People look at me and probably think, “Wow she has the world in her hands and she can just pick anything to have,” but that’s not how I feel. I feel lonely. Lonely in a crowd all the time. I made a few friends here and to be quite honest with you I don’t like any of them, for the exception of two. Let’s go down the list shall we, but with renamed people for obvious reasons. 

The first one, let's name her ... Mary. Now there is a great reason why I chose this name, honestly I think it was brilliant. Mary can symbolize the virgin Mary, ya know from the bible that people supposedly “read”. Mary is also the type of person that stayed with her boyfriend when moving to college. They are still together, but since said boyfriend is not quite old enough to attend college they are far apart. Since they are far apart, Mary likes to bring him up, oh about every minute she can. Literally. I’m talking about mushrooms for instance, and no not the drug kind, we were having mushrooms for dinner so the topic was brought up. Now mushrooms, not a topic you think boyfriend could really fit into, but wait he can! Mary goes on to tell a story about boyfriend not liking mushrooms and her eating all of his. Wow such an intriguing story. That’s not even a little bit of the worse part. Mary likes to go on and on about their sexual history, now I’m all for the sexual stuff and everything, but I really don’t like knowing EVERYTHING that you and your boyfriend do. Which is not sex surprisingly enough, just the tip, which she said she couldn’t even do because she’s a “good christian girl”. BULLSHIT. The last thing about the fabulous Mary is that she doesn’t stop reminding me that she used to be skinny, key words used to. Sorry Mary, but reality check that was the past who fucking cares. She is “thicc” one could say, but so am I and I don’t like walking around and talking about my weight and body image. That’s my least favorite topic of all time. It just crushes me (more about it in the future). Mary I feel I have the most to talk about, but I’ll continue on to friend numero dos.

Okay contestant number two, the 2/3 out of the group I don’t like. We shall call her ... Penelope. Penelope the pig, funny because she hung out with farm animals a lot. Now this special person is my roommate, and if anyone of the people I know see this they could probably guess this is them (especially Mary and honestly Penelope as well). Now Penelope does quite a few things that bug me, piss me off, rub me the wrong way, push my buttons, and etc. I could go on, but I’ll stop and share the few things that annoy me (oh wow another phrase to use) about her. 1. she doesn’t change the empty toilet paper roll to a new one, I have done it the last few times. Sometimes I don’t as well because I’m in a rush to leave, but if I’m not I change that sucker immediately. 2. she copies whatever I say right after me. If I say something was amazing she’ll say it was amazing, and so on. Also along with this is if I say she does or doesn’t do something she’ll say exactly the same thing back and blame me as well, but only in front of friends. 3. she always likes to bring up past parties, experiences, and the same guy that I, ME made out with. Let me explain. The parties have been 3 and she takes any opportunity to bring them up, like who cares it’s over and gone with. Experiences would be like how “high” she got, spoiler alert it didn’t work on her, or how drunk she got with tequila. While also saying “tequila fucks me up, I can’t ever drink that”. Um I’m pretty sure it fucks everyone up if you have enough of it. Now the guy. So at the second party I made out with this guy in a closet, and everyone found out, and Hannah kept being like if you don’t take him I will. GIRL I FOUND HIM, YOU WOULDN’T BE HERE IF I DIDN’T SWIPE RIGHT, OKURRR. 4. she watches me and gives out the weirdest hints, but then says I don’t know what you do. I know you do because you say shit like “you seem antsy because of all of your tapping, are you nervous?” In my head I just think da fuck, and then respond with the simple I’m fine. Again I have more, but it’ll be hell of a lot longer just like Mary. Last, but not least... (it will be short I promise.

We are just gonna name this last one Fiona because of Shrek, and a character in Shrek called Donkey. So she is named after Donkey by using Fiona’s name because it’s mean to call someone an ass right away. So I promised short and sweet and that’s what I’m going to give y’all. My only problem with Fiona is that she is obsessed with talking about herself and all of her boy toys that she uses and abuses (not literally abuse, but you know what I mean). That’s really it. The first night I talked to her I legit probably spoke 5 sentences out of 1,853 that she spoke. All in all she is just way to self absorbed and annoying as fuuuuuuck. 

Wow this really turned into a rant post about my college friends, but I guess that’s what this post was about. The shitty time at college I have been having, and I’m pretty sure it’s because of the friends I made. I applied to transfer to a different school, so I’m really hoping to get in there so I don’t have to deal with them anymore. Now for the two I do like, they listen and are really nice, there’s not much else. Their only flaw could be that they like my roommate more than me because they relate on their sexuality more than I could ever with them. To be honest I think my roommate is faking the bisexual thing like she does with everything else she does. I’m sorry to say that, but y’all don’t know her. 

Now again for another conclusion for chapter one of The Feelings of a 19 year old. I hope you enjoyed my little rant about some people, and who knows if it helped someone. Chapter two will come soon, just wait. Probably tomorrow because I rather do this than preparing for a presentation. So like all good authors do they say goodbye till tomorrow, I guess I’m not quite sure what good authors do (HA because I’m not one).

-ef

#growing up #teenager #almost 20 #living #complaining #ranting #blogging #college #learning lessons #friends #not friends #trying #dreaming #nightmares #goodbye #love you