ddragonflyx

[ddragonflyx]

Norman Reedus as Van in Floating (1997)

[ddragonflyx]

100 Pro Ana Tips

Disclaimer: Everything I post Now has to have a Disclaimer like this to inform that I do not condone any of this tips I only post them to help everyone that asks me to and I advise not doing some of this unhealthy ones (Check out my safe ones instead)! Also, follow my Snapchat at (aothexie) for my daily tips and routine snaps! 

1. Always eat breakfast. Studies prove that those who eat breakfast tend to make better food choices later in the day. You don’t want to skip off a breakfast of 100 calories for a 500 calorie slice of cake at desert. Besides, breakfast gets your metabolism revved up for the day ahead.

2. If you drink a lot of water on an empty stomach it just makes you gassy. Never fun. Small sips throughout the day is better. You’ll also have to pee a lot. 3. If you have things you shouldn’t (think diet pills, tape measures, thinspo, bag of spat out food, etc.) make sure you hide it. Leaving it below the bed or in your undies drawer is a sare way to get those things found. 4. Overuse of laxitives and/or diuretics are bad for your body. Over time, abuse of laxitives and diuretics cause incontinence, and embarassment for you. And if you overuse laxitives, when you stop, your body won’t be able to have a proper bowel movement. Use them only on an as-needed basis, as defined by ‘normal’ people. As in, only when constipated.  5. If you sleep less than 6 hours a day, your metabolism goes down between 10-20% depending on the person. And your body produces more of the hormone that makes you feel hungry. So even though you can burn more calories by staying up all night on the exercise bike, opt for the sleep instead if you don’t want to overindulge the next day. 6. Don’t deprive yourself of anything. That just leads to bingeing. If you want chocolate cake, have it, even if it’s on your list of ‘bad foods’. BUT, only have a few small bites. That way, you can enjoy what you want without ruining your diet. 7. Smaller meals throughout the day help keep your metabolism up, burning more calories. 8. Your body burns about 8 calories per glass of ice water trying to get it up to a temperature in which it can be processed. That’s 64 calories a day, translating to about 6 or 7 more pounds burned off in a year. Make ice your new best friend. 9. Fiber keeps you fuller longer, and helps keep your digestive system in good shape, thus reducing the need for all those laxitives. 10. Smaller dishes make it seem like you eat more. You often times eat by eyesight, not by stomach fullness. Studies have shown that in 2 groups, with the same amount of food, but one group using large plates and the other small plates, the group with the small plates reported feeling fuller. 11.Horizontal stripes and light denims make you look larger. Avoid them like the plague (Or maybe not) 12. Purging too hard can rupture your esophagus. You might die alone and in pain hunched over your toilet. Just saying. 13. If you’re having a food craving, and smoke, light up and the craving goes away. However, in a short time, that craving will return with a vengeance. 14. If you have a large binge, then your stomach expands massively, and the pressure kills off blood cells. Over time, this leads to a severely damaged stomach that may rupture. Once again, just like a ruptured esophagus, this could lead to you dying in pain. 15. The negative calorie foods actually only burn about 10% of whatever they put into you. A stick of celery at about 2 cal will only burn off 0.2 cal. 16. Purging doesn’t get rid of all of the calories. You still have about 1/3 or 2/3 of those calories left in you, depending on how soon after you eat you decide to purge. 17. If you wait more than an hour to purge, then there’s no point in doing it. Even if food comes back up, your body will have already absorbed all those calories. 18. Your body doesn’t register the calories from liquid the same way as it does calories from food. Your stomach won’t send the same ‘stop eating’ signals to your brain like with food. 19. A good substitute for soda is ICE Sparkling Water. It has pretty good flavor, small amounts of B Vitamins, and green tea extract, all for 0 calories. 20. Prolonged fasting/starvation messes up your metabolism. 21.Take a multivitamin every day. Yes, even if it has 5 calories. 22. If your body hits a plateu, a ‘binge’ helps. It makes your body think that you’ve stopped starving yourself. In fact, make it a goal that you have a day a week in which you eat at least 1000 calories if you want your metabolism to work properly (meaning it actually keeps burning calories and digesting food). 23. Blotting greasy foods like bacon and pizza with a napkin can save you about 100 calories. 24. Whole-grains have fiber and make you fuller longer. 25. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. 26. Alcohol is calorie dense. Say goodbye to going out drinking with friends unless you plan to be the designated driver. 27. If you chew and spit it out, you’re doing just as much damage to your teeth as vomiting, maybe even more, because saliva has acid like that in your stomach, that starts digestion. 28. Over time, purging depletes tooth enamel. Yes, dentists can recognize it. 29. If you cook pasta, don’t use butter. But you get sticky pasta. 30. When your periods stop, osteoporosis sets in. You could be a 12 year old girl with the bones of an 80 year old woman. Sometimes, your bones never regain the proper density. You’ll become prone to stress fractures and breaking bones. Calcium supplements are gold right here. Buy the ones for elderly people with osteoporosis if you can. 31. Brushing your teeth right after purging causes the enamel to wear off, making your teeth decay faster. Chewing gum or mints releases saliva, doing the same. 32. Drinking a lot of water can make it seem that you weigh more, which can help when visiting the doctor. If a lot of liquid is consumed in a short period of time, you might cause yourself brain damage, swelling of the brain, water logging of the brain…. So be careful about waterlogging. 33. Dehydration speeds up tooth decay, because you won’t have enough protective enzymes in your mouth to prevent the saliva from doing damage to your teeth. Don’t restrict liquids. 34. Make yourself lunch. A nice big sandwich with a juice and pack of chips. Then when you get to school, give it away to someone who forgot theirs. 35.  If you hide food that you were supposed to have eaten, make sure you do something about it ASAP. Same with the bag of puke in the closet. 36. Be prepared for all the questions of ‘have you lost weight’ and ‘are you eating’. 37. You can only make the excuse of food poisoning a few times before it becomes fishy. 38. Laxitives don’t affect calorie consumption. 39. The more that you insist that you’re fat, the more likely people are going to become suspicious. 40. Don’t use thinspo with people showing bones. It raises eyebrows. 41. Denying things just makes people get more suspicious. 42. Running to the bathroom right after you eat makes people assume that you’re going to go purge. 43. Hot water fills you up more, but cold water burns more calories. 44. When you go into ketosis, your breath is going to smell like hell. Mints are your buddies. 45. Your body often mistakes thirst for hunger. 46. Track progress by measuring tapes, not scales or mirrors. Your eyes will show you a hippo, even if you’re a skeleton with a skin covering, and scales get affected by everything, and I mean everything. 47. If you take too many diet pills, or even just one on an empty stomach, it gives you some pretty nasty side effects. Make sure you take one with something food. Like a few bites of an apple. 48. The artificial sweeteners like those in diet soda have been shown in studies to promote the body storing belly fat. And some have been linked to brain tumors. 49. Eating on a dark blue or black plate has the effect of making you eat less. 50. If you want to prevent a binge, just buy the food that you need for the day if you live by yourself. 51. Frozen foods take longer to eat, so you feel occupied longer, and you might feel fuller. Oh, and your body has to burn calories to get it to a temperature that it can be digested, so win all around! 52. If you get bad headaches, it’s probably because you’re dehydrated or your blood sugar is too low. 53. If you don’t eat enough, your blood sugar drops, and then you start feeling weak and dizzy and get horrible headaches. 54. Don’t take aspirin on an empty stomach. It’ll make you puke. 55.  Be careful about sitting with your legs crossed, they might fall asleep and cause you pain, and if you’re thin enough, you might pinch something, leaving you in pain or unable to walk. 56. If you don’t drink enough, you’ll get dehydrated, and then your muscles will hurt like a bitch. And no, painkillers probably won’t do anything for this. 57. It takes about 20 minutes for your body to feel full from the time that you first put a bite of food into your mouth. 58. Some sugar free gums have 3 calories, and some have 5. Even though you aren’t swallowing it, you should count these. 59. Get really good at math. That way, you can easily mentally add up whatever you’ve eaten for the day, without having to write it down. People get suspicious if they come across a food diary. 60. Dress warmly enough to keep warm without making it obvious. People get suspicious if you’re wearing a coat in 90 degree weather, or complaining about being cold while they’re ok or even too hot. 61. Spicy foods and seaweed boost the metabolism. Seaweed soup (35cal) with 1 tbsp soy sauce(10cal) and hotsauce (5cal) makes a great dinner. 62. Eating cabbage to lose weight is good, but smelly. 63. Eating in front of the TV or computer distracts you from feeling full. 64. Eat while standing burns more calories than eating while sitting. 65. Talk a lot and eat very little at lunch or dinner and people won’t notice. 66. Keep food spread out and close to the plate and people will think it’s more. 67. Your skin will turn gray or yellow if you don’t eat right. Tanning might help counteract this. 68. Your hair will get super dry and maybe even turn gray in places. Have extra strength conditioner and hair dye on call. 69. Your nailbeds are going to get blue from lack of nutrients. Find a pretty color nailpolish that you like. 70. Every 20 minutes or so when sitting, get up and take a short walk if you can. 71. Delete your browsing history. It’s hard to explain away your sudden weight loss when there’s all the pro ana tricks in your computer. 72. Weight lost slowly will stay off, whereas weight that is lost rapidly will come back, with more, when you start eating even somewhat normal. 73. If you lose weight too fast, you also lose muscle. When that happens, you burn off calories more slowly. 74. People with more muscle burn off more calories doing the same activities as people with less muscle. 75. If you burn off too much muscle, then your body burns calories more slowly. 76. Only eat when people are going to notice. And then, only have something small. 77. Excuses will be your new best friend. Use them like a cheap whore. 78. Lack of nutrients make you depressed. 79. Fasting for days on end makes your metabolism go down and increases cravings. 80. Break your exercise up into smaller 5-15 minute blocks. It’s easier to stomach that way. 81. It’s not so hard to put some exercise into your daily life. Take the stairs instead of the elevator, walk to nearby locations instead of driving, clean your house… 82. If you keep doing the same exercise day in and day out, your body will get used to it. 83. If you keep consuming the same number of calories per day, your body gets used to that too. Your metabolism goes down. 84. Coffee on an empty stomach makes you nauseous. 85. Diet pills can sometimes give you heart damage if you use too many or for too long. 86. Losing too much weight too fast might cause organ damage, especially to your heart, since in effect, your heart is just one big muscle. 87. Splenda with fiber is better than sweetener or fiber by itself. Add it to everything you need to make sweeter and you will get more fiber too. 88. Your body takes a long time to digest protein. So eat fish, it leaves a smell behind to make people think you’re eating. 89. Dish out food for yourself, then feed it to the dog below the table. Be careful though because if you feed your dog the wrong thing, you might make him sick. 90. Heat up food in the microwave and leave the door open. It makes everything smell. Double points if it splatters all over the inside. 91. Leave dirty dishes in the sink or dishwasher or on the counter. 92. Take food in a bowl from the kitchen, eat some of it at the dining room table, then act like you’re going back for more. Dump most of the food back into the pot, and leave only a few bites behind. Go back and eat those at the table. 93. Cook often for people. They usually assume that you ate some in the kitchen while you were making it. 94. When you cook, just the act of seeing so much food and smelling it is often enough to fill you up. 95.  Remember that if you eat too much you’ll become fat. They don’t make cute clothes for fat people. 96. When sitting, maintain good posture. It burns more calories. 97. Black pepper makes your heart rate go up in case they think your blood pressure is too low. Be careful about the difference between sitting BP and standing BP though. 98. Get yourself a pair of jeans that are at a size or two smaller than what you are. Make it your goal to get into them. Even if the size that’s smaller than you is in the kids sizes. 99. Improper diet often leads to insomnia. Take up a hobby for when you’re unable to sleep, or when you’re craving. 100. Better yet, get sleeping pills. 

[ddragonflyx]

EATING DISORDER BOOKS MASTERLIST

A Dance of Sisters, by Tracey Porter

A Stranger in the Family

A Trick of the Light, by Lois Metzger

After the Strawberry, by Kathryn Pope

Almost Anorexic, by Jennifer J. Thomas

Anorexic Annie, by Sarah Burleton

Beautiful Me, by Natasha Jennings

Being Ana, by Shani Raviv

Between, Jessica Warman

Confessions of a Failed Anorexic

Confessions of a Teenage Ballerina

Diary of An Anorexic Girl, by Morgan Menzie

Diving in Deep, by Nora Ballew

Dying For the Part: A Novel, by Jessica Ehredt

Dying to be Perfect, by Susan Barry

Elena Vanishing, by Elena Dunkle

Eli’s Wings, by Elizabeth Best

Eve’s Apple: A Novel, by Jonathan Rosen

Fasting Girls, by Joan Brumberg

Fat Chance, by Leslea Newman

Feeling for Bones, by Bethany Pierce

Flowers in Bone Cages, by Sophie Glynn

Frio, by Laurie Halse Anderson

Girl in the Mirror (Carrie Years), by Janet Fiorentino

Girl Interrupted, by Susanna Kayson

Girl Over the Edge, by Amy Z Kinzler

Girls Under Pressure, by Jacqueline Wilson

Going Hungry, by 19 various authors giving accounts of their ED

Hollow: An Unpolished Tale, by Jenna Morrow

How To Disappear Completely, by Kelsey Ozgood

Hunger Point, by Jillian Medoff

Hunger, by Jackie Morse Kessler

Hungry for Change, by Amy Lewis

In Her Shadow, by August Mclaughlin

Insatiable: The Compelling Story of Four Teens, Food and Its Power, by Eve Eliot

Kessa, by Steven Levenkron

Kim: Empy Inside, by Beatrice Sparks

Letting Ana Go, by Anonymous

Life-Size, by Jenefer Shute

Losing It, by Jasmin Dalton

Loud in the House of Myself

Massive, by Julia Bell

My Perfect Little Secret, by Rebecca Coppage

My Sister’s Bones, by Cathi Hanauer

Never Enough, by Denise Jaden

One Wish, by Leigh Brescia

Paint Me Beautiful: a Tale of Anorexia, a Love Story, and the Rebirth of Claire Simone (A Duet), by C.M. Stunich

Paperweight, by Meg Haston

Perfect, Ellen Hopkins (one of four main characters is anorexic, but its revolving perspective so ¾ of the book isn’t, just a heads up)

Pretty Bones, by Aya Tsintziras

Purge, by Sarah Darer

Running Lean, by Diana Sharples

Running in Silence: My Drive for Perfection and the Eating Disorder that Fed it, by Rachael Rose Steil

Second Start to the Right, by Deborah Hautzig

Size Zero, by Victoire Dauxerre

Skin and Bones, by Sherry Shahan

Skin, by Adrienne Maria Vrettos

Skinny, by Ibi Kaslik

Skinny: A Novel, by Laura Smith

Slim to None, by Jennifer Hendricks

Spoon Fed - A year in the life of a teenage anorexic as seen through her eyes!, by Jake Jacobs

The Best Little Girle in the World, by Steven Levenkron

The Disappearing Girl, by Heather Topham Wood

The Hanged Man, by Francesca Lia Block

The Hunger Scream, by Ivy Ruckman

The Passion of Alice, by Stephanie Grant

The Secret Life of an Anorexic, by Kristen Noel

The Stone Girl, by Alyssa Sheinmel

The Year We Seized The Day, by Elizabeth Best and Colin Falconer

Thin, by Grace Bowmen

Thin, by Laura Greenfield

Thinspo, by Amy Ellis

Unbearable Lightness, by Portia de Rossi

Wasted, by Marya Hornbacher

Wintergirls, by Laurie Halse Anderson

Zoe Letting Go, by Nora Price

Feel free to add more~ ❤️❤️

[ddragonflyx]

recipes for when you think you're about to binge (and crave something that isn't only veggies !!!!)

and its okay to eat when you need it babe <3

personally i can't live without potatoes or pasta so here are some good alternatives to please yourself !!

Potatoes and sweet potatoes (225 cals)

2 potatoes (180g)

1/2 sweet potato (75g)

peel the potatoes and cut them in little cubes (same with the sweet potato). Add spices bc they could make a boring meal a chief's kiss one!! I personally add salt, paprika, rosemary and thyme

bake for 20min at 180°C

Sweat potato nugget (recipe is for 2 parts, one is 178 cals)

1 sweet potato (150g)

bacon (40g)

honey (10g)

tomato paste (75g)

peel the potato and cut it in cubes of about 2-3cm, then roll them in the tomato paste. roll the slices of bacon around it, and use a spoon to add a little bit of honey on top

bake at 180°C for 25min

Pasta gratin (recipe is for 2 parts, 1 is 393 cals)

pasta (160g)

cream cheese light (100g)

tomatoes (150g)

cook the pasta in a pot. once they're cooked, add the cream cheese and the slices tomatoes in it and mix. you can add spices

bake in the oven for 10min at 200°C

Pizza on the stove (312cals)

tomatoes (25g)

1/2 mozzarella (62g)

1 tortilla (40g)

tomato sauce

cut the mozzarella and the tomatoes. Put the tortilla in a pan and let it on low heat (do both sides). once both sides are heated up, add the tomato sauce, the mozzarella and the tomates (I also add thyme in the sauce). cover the pan with the lid and wait until the cheese has melted (about 5-6min)

Cauliflower but better (201 cals)

cauliflower (90g)

mozzarella light (100g)

cook the cauliflower in a pot with water. add spices (salt, pepper, paprika, thyme..) once they're cooked, put them in a dish, add the mozzarella on top of it and bake for 10-15min at 180°C

Cheeseburger salad (577 cals)

minced beef (112g)

tomatoes (60g)

pickles (12g)

mustard (7g)

vinegar (4ml)

salad (56g)

mayonnaise (28g)

grated cheddar (25g)

cook the beef in a pot for 6-8min. add salt and pepper if you want. once its almost cooked, add the cheddar so it'll melt a bit

cut the salade, the tomatoes and the pickles. For the sauce, mix the vinegar, the mustard and the mayonnaise.

put everything in a bowl and mix !

chocolate smoothie (305cals)

banana (150g)

almond milk (200ml)

cocoa powder (30g)

ice

mix everything in a blender and enjoy !!

scrambled eggs (230cals)

1-2 eggs (105g)

milk (12ml)

ham (12g)

spinach (12g)

olive oil

in a bowl, mix everything together. add spices if you want, and cook in a pot until its done

zucchini pizza (278 cals)

zucchini (230g)

tomato sauce (50ml)

mozzarella (50g)

cut the zucchini in slices of about 1.5-2 cm. add the tomato sauce on it, then the mozzarella. add spices if you want, cook for 8-11 min in the oven at 200°C

I probably will add some more later !! enjoy it <3

[ddragonflyx]

I just know that if I ever got worse and became skinny my mother would be so proud if she saw me become skinny finally. What a crazy world.

#bulimima #disordered eating thoughts #ed not ed sheeran #low cal restriction #pro a4a #st4rv1ng #tw ana diary #st4 #tw disordered eating #tw ed sheeran

[ddragonflyx]

13

[ddragonflyx]

I watched the movie thirteen and it’s so comforting for me for some reason. I want to be like them. Be evil, but how doesn’t that look like when you’re fat so, be evil and skinny is my new goal.

#bulimima #disordered eating thoughts #ed not ed sheeran #low cal restriction #pro a4a #st4rv1ng #tw ana diary #tw disordered eating #tw ed sheeran #st4 #thirteen #thirteen 2003

[ddragonflyx]

Its currently 9:11 pm at my place and this is what i eaten today:

I arrived to school and my friend brought with her like chocolaty cake type of thing and I had 3 of those they were really small. Maybe a 50 gram each (599)

And then I drank some water and walked a bit. Then we had rehearsal and walked back really fast for like 30 minutes so it’s like 385 kcals burned for what my app says so good day.

I hope you’re safe and if you’re trying to recover please for gods sake don’t follow me!<3

#ed not ed sheeran #st4rv1ng #tw disordered eating #low cal restriction #disordered eating thoughts #pro a4a #tw ed sheeran #st4 #bulimima #tw ana diary

[ddragonflyx]

Have any of you got any tips how to hide Ed from friends?

Like I live in a dorm and I have a roommate, she’s cool. She’s my friend and she always makes me eat. How could I avoid that?

Thank god she won’t be here all week which means I get to starve and exercise! Haha

Any other tips any of you have?<3

#ed not ed sheeran #st4rv1ng #tw disordered eating #low cal restriction #disordered eating thoughts #pro a4a #tw ed sheeran #bulimima #st4 #tw ana diary

[ddragonflyx]

I never knew so many people would like this post :D

Hi everybody!

Today I woke up at 5:10 and it’s currently 6:24 am at my place and ugh I feel so nauseous, but in a good way. Knowing I won’t be eating till 14:30 when my last lesson finishes

Hi!

This is my return to the ed community so if you're not struggling or trying to get better please don't follow me!

I am 18 and been struggling with ed, but never really managed to get deep into it, so this is my time now.

I am currently overweight and on meds for medical problems that help me lose weight.

#ed not ed sheeran #st4rv1ng #tw disordered eating #low cal restriction #disordered eating thoughts #pro a4a #tw ed sheeran #st4 #bulimima #tw ana diary

[ddragonflyx]

Hi!

This is my return to the ed community so if you're not struggling or trying to get better please don't follow me!

I am 18 and been struggling with ed, but never really managed to get deep into it, so this is my time now.

I am currently overweight and on meds for medical problems that help me lose weight.

#st4rv1ng #ed not ed sheeran #tw disordered eating #low cal restriction #disordered eating thoughts #pro a4a #tw ed sheeran #st4 #bulimima #tw ana diary #tw ed diet #ed vent #ana trigger

[ddragonflyx]

fictional kiss things that end me

being unable to open their eyes for a few moments afterward

one small kiss, pulling away for an instant, then devouring each other

pressing their foreheads together while kissing

speaking normally, then after the kiss their voice is hoarse

guys furrowing their brow when kissing passionately

staring at the other’s lips, trying not to kiss them, before giving in

running their thumb over the other’s lips

when they lean forward a fraction as if to kiss the other person, then realize they shouldn’t and pull back to stop themselves

ripping the other away - “no we shouldn’t” - but when they kiss them again they moan and hold them close

one sliding their hand into the other’s hair slowly

their entire body freezing for a second when their love kisses them

accidentally being forced inches apart from each other, staring at each other’s lips, and just before they kiss someone pulls them back apart

when one stops the kiss to whisper “I’m sorry, are you sure you-” and they answer by kissing them more

a hoarse whisper “kiss me”

then licks their lips and says “please”

[ddragonflyx]

girl dinner

[ddragonflyx]

it’s been 14 years and i’m still not over warrick brown’s death

[ddragonflyx]

On Halloween night weird things happen.

Jesse x fem.reader

She/her pronouns

Smut+fluff

—————————————————————————

It was Halloween night. You were trying to paint your little sisters face, because she wanted to be a ladybug. You sewed her wings, they were red they also had black dots on them. Seven little dots.“Stop moving around so much!”

“I’m sorry” she said pouting

It was unnecessary to paint her face, but she insisted that, she wanted to be pretty and to have make up on like big girls do. There you were putting mascara on your sister. When you were finally done, and she was satisfied, it was your turn to dress up as something for the night. You had no idea what to be. In the end, you put on a longer black dress, and a witch hat.

Your sister was running around so fast to collect all the chocolate and candy with all the little power she has in her. You could barely keep up with her.

“Y/N comeee ooonnn!!”

“I'm coming” You were running after her at this moment. As little she was, but fast, really fast. She was running up to this beautiful house, and you knew exactly who it belonged to Jesse Pinkman. He was in the same chemistry class as you, always making fun of Mr. White, which you admitted was pretty funny. He was a cute guy, but your paths never crossed. You went to college and he, he stayed right here.

You caught up to her, knelt beside her and stopped her on her way to the door. “Maybe we shouldn't knock here” she looked at you with her big eyes and her smile disappeared “Why?” her eyes were glassy almost about to cry, she was so eager to get all the candy she could. You thought about it. “Okay, we can try”

You stood up and with her little hand in yours walked up to the front door, knocked twice and waited. “Yo, go away!” a voice came from the other side of the door.

“Told you Sweetie, come on, let's go”

As Jesse heard your voice he ran to the door as fast as he could. Slammed the door open. “Hey”

“Oh, hi Jesse”

The way his name slid from your tongue, it was so angelic to him. He was thinking about you since sophomore year, but never had the courage to actually do anything, anyway why would you go out with him. A junky. “Trick or treat” a voice echoed.

Jesse stared at the ladybug hiding behind your leg, gripping you with her hands. Clinging into you. He was scrathing the back of his neck, looking at you.

“I don't have anything” he whispered to you

“It's okay, we can just go”

“No, no I can find something”

He invited both of you inside, he was running around packing all the stuff he had out. Throwing things away. “Do you, um want a coffee or a um a tea?”

“No, thank you!”

You were standing in the kitchen with ladybug next to you she was fidgeting with her headband, it pressed her head a little, so she took it of.

Jesse found a bag of candy in the cabinet so he handed a big handful of it to the little girl. Her smile grew bigger than ever. “ Thank you!” she almost screamed. He patted her head. “ You are welcome!”

We were standing in the house looking at each other smiling slightly. “We should go, I think”

“Yeah, yeah get more candy”

“Bye Jess”

There it is again that funny feeling he got when you said his name, he got soft, but only for you.

Sometime later

You were now sitting on your bed, when you heard your sister run around searching for something. She slammed the door open. “ Y/N I don't know where is the headband, I can't find it” she sobbed

“It's okay we will find it tomorrow” You tried to calm her, but she just wasn't, she wanted it now.

“Where have you last seen it?”

The little girl was thinking really hard, she just couldn't remember where she could left it, but you knew. You knew she took it of at Jesse’s house, so it must be there.

“Is it okay if I get it for you tomorrow?”

“I- I need it”

You couldn't believe her and why she needed that headband so bad, maybe it's just a kid thing. It wasn't that late so you decided to go. Jesse didn't live far away, two streets maybe. People were still out trick or treating. You walked slowly, counting every step. Hesitant to knock, but than you did, twice. No answer. “Jesse? It's me Y/N”

Jesse rushed to the door again, opening it. “Hi! What's up?”

“My sister left her headband here“

“Oh, yeah I found it on the floor, come in?”

“Okay” You stepped in the house, it smelled nice like freshly baked brownies. He handed the headband to you, your hands brushing against each others. “Thank you”

He was looking right at you with those beautiful blue orbs of his, and you maybe only for a second thought about kissing him. Kissing Jesse. He was thinking about kissing you too. Kissing you. The brownie was ready, he ran and took it out. “Want some?”

“I-”

“It's okay if you don't “

“I would like to” you smiled sweetly

He put one on the plate he carefully cleaned before. You were sitting in the kitchen. The brownie was a little bit of, it wasn't like a brownie more just a chocolaty dough. Jesse tasted it too.

“Well it's bad”

“It's not” you tried to reason

“Yes, it is”

“Well, maybe just a little”

You guys both giggled and he took the plate from you, threw the brownie in the trash as you giggled at his actions. He stared at you the whole time you laughed.

“What?” You looked up

“It's nothing, nothing”

“Come on spit it out”

“You just look so beautiful when you laugh”

You blushed at his words, hiding your face into your hands.

“And when you blush”

“I better get going” you said not looking at him

He walked you to the door “Thank you for the, um brownie, and the headband”

“It's fine, I guess. You know I missed you”

“Missed me?”

“Yes, you have changed since I last saw you, in high school”

“I didn't really notice” you fidgeted with your rings

“You became prettier, not that you weren't pretty you just-” He suddenly heard giggles, your giggles, now his favourite sound.

“Thank you”

He moved closer to you, only inches separated the two of you. His hand came up to your face slowly carassing it, moving some hairs out of the way. Leaning closer till you could feel his breath. You leaned in kissing him softly, breaking apart after doing so. Kissing him again, but this time with more love. Jesse pulled you closer to him, holding your hips, your face. You put your arms around his neck. He kissed your face, your neck as he couldn't get enough. “Jesse” He got the chills from hearing his name leave your mouth like this. He didn't just wanted to fuck you, he needed you more than just a quick fuck. You meant more than that to him.

“I should go now. It's getting late” you whispered to him

“Don’t leave me please” he held you closer than ever

You kissed him again slowly this time, holding his face in your palms. “Okay, I’ll stay, but I do really have to give this to my sister she almost went crazy for it”

“I’ll drive you home with it”

“Thank you”

He has driven you home and you gave the headband to your sister, packed a few things and left. Your mom didn’t care really she trusted you.

You were now on his couch watching some shitty movie that was on TV. He slowly moved closer and closer to you. “You know you can touch me, I don’t bite”

“Yeah, I know”

He placed his hand on your thigh just caressing it slowly. His other hand was on your shoulder playing with your hair. He was too much for you, his smell, his touch was so soft like you might break. You looked in his eyes trying to find something and pulling him closer to you, kissing him. He was so gentle with you, caressing your sides while slipping his tongue in your mouth, playing with your necklace now. He pulled away for air, you looked up at him “I want your touch so bad” His eyes were filled with lust. You climbed on top of him, pressing yourself really close to his body. He started to kiss you again, your neck and moving down to your breasts gently touching your nipples and massaging them through the fabric of your dress.

“Nipple piercings, huh?”

“You like them big boy?”

“Yeah, they cool”

You stood up from his lap, reaching for the zipper of your black dress and peeling it of. You had nothing on just pink panties with a bow in the front. “Oh gosh” he said as you climbed back to him. He kissed your lips bitting them and moving down to your boobs kissing and sucking, leaving little hickeys all over them. He moved one of his finger to play with the bow on your pantie. Than he just slid his hand inside, rubbing circles on your clit. “Ahh” You wanted him so bad so so bad. His hand gently Incheby towards your enterance. He moved some fingers inside curling them and moving in and out. “Fuck baby you’re so wet”

You were so close, but he stopped. “ Hmm, please” you whined. Jesse just moved you as he stood up walking to a drawer taking out a pack of something. He wanted to move you up to his bedroom, but you were to desperate for him so you knelt down unbuckled his belt, his cock sprung out touching his stomach and you took it and started rubbing, licking and kissing the tip then you started to suck and move down and down. He threw his head back at the friction of your tongue moving on his throbbing cock which was leaking precum already. You were bobbing your head up and down gagging on it just enough for him to groan. He was about to cum when you stopped. “ Fuck, didn’t know you can do that”

“Come on baby let me fuck you upstairs” he said

“I want you to fuck me on the kitchen counter” you looked up at him

“Oh fuuuck” he rubbed his cock a couple times

“You’re so fucking hot when you’re like this” he led you to the kitchen shutting the blinds

You sat up the counter opening you legs for him. He groaned as he placed the condom on than he lined himself up and pushed in. “Fucckk, Jesse”

When he was fully in he just pulled you off a little as he held your ass in the air and started rocking his hips into you. The feeling was so good your brain was getting foggy. “You’re so fucking tight”

“You’re so fucking big”

That made him move faster and harder into you. He slammed just perfectly hitting you spots. He was bitting your nipples licking over his bites. You nails caressed his back scratching time to time. “Harder pleasee “ He pulled out then slammed back in. You couldn’t even form words just mumbles and moans came out of you. Who knew Jesse Pinkman could fuck like this. He reached down to your clit slowly rubbing circles edging you. “Ahh Jesse please I want to cum on your cock, please” He was now moving at a rough pace just railing into you. “Fuck Y/N baby I’m gonna cum so hard! Are you close baby?” he asked as he leaned into you kissing your neck whispering sweet nothings in your ear. “Jesse I’m so close please don’t stop, please” he rolled his hips and slammed into you some more as the coil snapped in you and came all over his cock. He continued his pace overstimulating you. He than came moaning and groaning in your neck.

He was laying on top of you trying to catch his breath, you just caressed his back. When he finally stood up looking into your eyes, you found an unfamiliar look on his face. “What’s wrong?” you asked him worry in your tone.

“Nothing, I just” he sighed “I just don’t want you to think I only wanted you for this, you mean so much more than this to me” You didn’t think that, you knew his crush on you. He always glanced at you back in high school and when you couldn’t reach something in a shop somehow he was there. “I know” you said with a calm voice. You leaned closer kissing him softly your voice almost like a whisper “I know”

#jesse pinkman #breaking bad #walter white #fanfic #oneshot #nsfwaccount #18+ fic #mdni

[ddragonflyx]

[ddragonflyx]

I just love him with everything in me

Norman Reedus as Van in Floating (1997)