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sending so much love to femmes whose gender is just "femme" and butches whose gender is just "butch" <33

#Femme positivity

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I put on my (very butch) wife's jacket and hat and she started laughing and said I looked like someone cosplaying as a butch

I was going to be mad until I looked in the mirror

The short version of what I saw is that it's good to know my femme status is still secure

#this is unbelievable #yet … true #listen #the way I looked like a drowned cat in my partners clothes #not even funny

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dyke collaging at the lesbian herstory archives!

#Art

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I saw some dumb shit on reddit and after being down voted to all hell made some memes to express myself

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I’ve been seeing so much about giving femmes the princess treatment it’s making me want to give a butch the prince treatment… to bring you breakfast in bed, with perfectly cut fruit and coffee just the way you like it. To run you bubble baths after you’ve had a long day, your favorite candles on the counter. To take you to a tailor to get your first suit. To give you long, luxurious massages, to take you out to your favorite meals, to bring you flowers for no reason, to show you how it feels to be spoiled and cherished and adored.

#Feeling normal about this

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calling every gnc cis person you see an "egg waiting to crack" even as a joke is not cool or funny at all actually it is extremely invasive and weird and you are just reinventing gender roles but making it "progressive"

#Takes #look #maybe we could all just mind our damn beeswax kenneth

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they’re so butchfemme

#Art #the grip that dear Daniel has on my soul #I’m not even kidding

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some new buttons i made for an event i vended at! leftovers for sale here 💌✂️

#Art #now identifying as a biblically accurate femme

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Hello! I’m collecting some info for a personal research project (nothing official) and I’d like to know what age you were when you first started identifying as ‘butch’ or ‘femme’, specifically.

if you could pass this around to friends and community members that’d be great! Thanks x

#Butch #butchfemme #butch lesbian #femme #femme identity #high femme #femme community #femme lesbian #butch/femme #femme4butch #butch4butch #butch4femme #Butch community #femme4femme

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I rejected femininity as a teenager because I didn’t know how to dress myself. Department store skirts never fit me, makeup was a mystery, I hated my body and the world I was supposed to fit in. The ways I was taught clashed with who I was before I even knew why. I liked dresses, but I wasn’t allowed to like the way I looked in them.

I embraced femininity when I found queer community. I found fat femmes who taught me how to thrift, showed me how to pair accessories, who watched me grow into the beam of sunlight I am today. I loved myself for the first time when I discovered that I could do femininity on my own terms, that I could leave the path set for me by the church or the hateful community I grew up in.

Becoming a femme saved my life. I cultivate love like a garden for my community. I learn from and respect queer history. Femmes, we are so important, and so loved.

#Femme positivity #this is so beautiful

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had yet another lesbian tell me at the bar that “well I’m… masc, y’know, so I’m Obviously on top”

… if being on top is a part of your gender presentation, and that’s important to you, sincerely, that’s fine.

But if you think that a) that is universally applicable to all masculine lesbians everywhere and b) that I, a femme, will necessarily be down to bottom for you please, grow tf up and go outside more. This is a PSA.

#it’s vent o’clock #masc lesbian #This is the 3rd masc thats said this to me #I’m tired #Femme top #femme lesbians #femme lesbian #Shoutout to butches specifically for never doing this to me ever

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leslie feinberg with lover, 1967

from the persistent desire: a femme-butch reader

#Art #photography #herstory

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Another life update (quick but sad, tw: breakups, intrusive thoughts, su*c*dal ideation, and academic anxiety)

A note to those who are reading this who are worried, do not call the police, I am safe, those around me are safe, I have made no active plans. Thank you for looking out for others. Sorry for giving you a heart attack.

Now that’s out of the way. I went through a breakup recently, and I am single again. Since I’ve mentioned my butch a couple of times on this blog, it felt off not to say anything. However this happened a couple of weeks ago, I wanted to give myself a grace period to process everything.

The combined stressors of that happening, plus getting started on writing my masters dissertation, plus looking into PhD options and trying to access a pathway to study at Oxford (which I am fully aware is going to be a Goliath of a task despite my academic record, my area of interest is interdisciplinary and niche as all hell, also money) has lead to a mental health maelstrom.

I deal with intrusive thoughts on a daily basis. I also really struggle with having a healthy relationship with academics. My mindset since I decided to pursue this PhD has been “I must do this exact topic, and I must do it at Oxford, and I must do it in my 20s. If I do not manage to do this, I will commit su*c*de.” I quite literally can’t not succeed at this, life without it is a gaping void. I wish I was exaggerating. And it’s horrible, y’know, cause academia can be wonderful and exciting, and I love and am excited by what I study. The problem is that I love it so much, it kind of hurts. And if I can’t have it, I don’t know how I’m going to keep going, genuinely. That scares the hell out of me.

I wish I didn’t feel so much. I wish I didn’t always have to take things to extremes. I wish I wasn’t so intense. I wish I wasn’t always such an ‘all or nothing’ person. I wish I understood so many things. I wish I understood why I don’t feel good enough. I wish I understood why I can’t just try hard, I have to try my very hardest, at everything. And I wish I understood why when that fails, it feels like a kind of death. I wish I wasn’t as lonely. I wish that had less to do with being femme for me that it actually does. And it does, because performative femininity is just another thing I have to do perfectly. Whatever that means.

I’m sharing all of this not just because I’m an over-sharer generally, but because I have a gut feeling that someone else is also feel kind of ‘Betty Friedan’ this evening, and needs a mirror. And a hug. Please? I really need a hug.

#Niamh speaks #mental health #tw sui ideation #tw intrusive thoughts #Academic anxiety

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update: I finished my first run, it went really well!

I’ve really backed off making content for this blog the last few weeks as I’ve had to redirect my energy towards my masters dissertation, and I feel really bad. In the spirit of catching up, hey femmes (and the other people that follow me, butches especially hi sweetie) , tell me about something you’ve started or something that’s coming up soon that you’re proud of/are looking forward to.

I’m starting running on Tuesday! As someone who leads a mostly sedentary lifestyle between my degree and work and placement, I wanted to do something to be more active that was also inexpensive. My goal is 5k in 8 weeks, wish me luck!

#Niamh speaks #so I run now! Yay! #Running

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femme as in a safe space, femme as in a refuge, femme as in a soft place for your heart to land

(platonic AND romantic)

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I’ve really backed off making content for this blog the last few weeks as I’ve had to redirect my energy towards my masters dissertation, and I feel really bad. In the spirit of catching up, hey femmes (and the other people that follow me, butches especially hi sweetie) , tell me about something you’ve started or something that’s coming up soon that you’re proud of/are looking forward to.

I’m starting running on Tuesday! As someone who leads a mostly sedentary lifestyle between my degree and work and placement, I wanted to do something to be more active that was also inexpensive. My goal is 5k in 8 weeks, wish me luck!

#Hi hi sorry for disappearing #I love you very much I am proud of you #I hope you’re okay let me know how you’re doing #Niamh speaks #life updates #femme #femme community #Femme support #femme appreciation #femme4butch