Hi!!! Oh my god your work is actually incredible and I stayed up all night (despite exam season) to read it all đ
I was wondering if I could maybe request another angsty Az fic (bc you did such an incredible job with the last one đđ)
I had this idea thatâs based around the love triangle in folklore where Azriel is James and he cheats on reader (Betty) and she absolutely crushed and he has for grovel BAD. I just love the groveling trope đ but I also feel like you as a swiftie can perfect this idea!! Itâs your choice for happy or sad ending! (And how you interpret James and Betty maybe getting back together)
Oh my goodness, thank you SO MUCH!! đ«¶đ»đ«¶đ» (Sorry about exams though lol, good luck!! đ©·)
I LOVE THIS IDEA!! I'm excited for another angsty one to hurt my own feelings haha, PLUS SWIFTIE ANGST! I'll start working today!
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Thank you!! đ«¶đ»đ„°
I Love You, It's Ruining My Life
Pairing: Azriel x Bestfriend! Reader
Summary: Azriel and Reader have been best friends for years, and slowly Reader starts to fall for him. He eventually feels the same way, but after Reader overhears a conversation she wasnât meant to, she has doubts about him.
Based on this request! đ©·
Warnings: angst with a happy ending, a little swearing
Work Count: 5.2k
You twisted around in front of the mirror, trying to look at the dress from every angle. âWhat do you think, Az?â
Your friend looked at you, his eyes trailing down your body, and wrinkled his nose. âNo.â
âReally?â You faced the mirror again, cocking your head. âI think itâs pretty.â
âIt cinches weirdly around your middle,â he said.
You studied yourself in the mirror again, realizing he was right. âWow. See, this is why I bring you along. Who knew your spymaster focus would be so helpful for fashion.â
He laughed, throwing his head back against the couch he was sitting on, and you couldnât help but smile. You always felt a twinge of pride whenever you could make the stoic shadowsinger laugh like that.
âSo this one, then?â You asked, gesturing to the first dress you had tried on earlier.Â
âThat is the one,â he shot you a lopsided smile. âThe poor fool wonât know what hit him.â
Later, you plopped down into the chair next to Azrielâs in the sitting room at the House, groaning.Â
Azriel arched a brow in question.Â
âYou were right,â you sighed. âHe was a fool.â
Az poured you some of the amber liquid he was drinking, handing the glass to you. âWhat kind of fool? Do I need to defend your honor?â he asked, a hard edge to his voice.
Laughing dryly, you said. âNo, nothing like that. Just a lame date. I canât believe I bought a new dress for that guy.â
He smiled sadly at you. âHey, the right guy will go crazy for that dress.â
You winced, taking a sip of the drink. âI guess,â you grumbled.
âCome here,â he said, opening his arms. âYou know I wonât let you be all grumbly by yourself.âÂ
Smiling faintly, you rose from your seat and settled in his lap, resting your head on his shoulder, his arms wrapping comfortingly around you.Â
âWhenâs it gonna happen for us, Az? When do we get to find what Rhys and Feyre have?â You asked, quietly.Â
He sighed, leaning his cheek into the top of your head. âI donât know. But at least you and I are alone together.âÂ
You laughed, and he tightened his arms around you slightly, clearly pleased. You felt your sad heart mending slightly as your best friend in the world held you long into the night.
---
A few days later, you sighed, pushing your food around your plate at lunch in Velaris with Azriel.
Azriel watched you, those hazel eyes calculating. âYouâre not still moping about that date, are you?â
âIâm not moping,â you scolded him. âAnd no, of course itâs not about the date. He is not worthy of my sighs.â
The side of his mouth curved into a smile. âSo, what is it then?â
Shrugging noncommittally, you said, âHonestly, I donât know. I just feelâŠbummed.â
That smile of his dropped, his mouth thinning into a line. âAre you done eating?â
You blinked, confused. âYeah, I think so.â
He tossed money onto the table, nodding his head to the side, indicating it was time to go. âCome on.â
âWhere are we going?â You asked, rising to follow him.
âYouâll see,â he said, slinging his arm around your shoulders as you walked.Â
It took several minutes before you knew what he was planning and you grinned up at him as you realized where he was leading you.Â
He smiled, kissing the top of your head as you neared your favorite ice cream shop.Â
Your heart swelled as Azriel ordered your favorite ice cream. You should have known. Your parents had always taken you here when you needed a pick-me-up, and Azriel had continued the tradition, knowing it always made you feel better, at least for a little bit.
Gazing up at the man who knew you so very well, your heart began to crack.
---
Azriel wrapped an arm around your shoulder as you settled on the couch beside him, tucking you against his side as his whole family roamed around the River House.Â
It had been Feyreâs idea to get everyone together for an evening, just to spend time in each otherâs company.Â
âHow are you?â he said, eyes boring into yours. He had been extra watchful of you lately, since your mood had dimmed weeks ago. He couldnât understand why this dark cloud had been following you around lately. It broke his heart that he couldnât fix it.
âGood,â you murmured, smiling faintly at him.Â
His brow furrowed, but before he could question you further, Cassian plopped down on the other side of you, grinning.
Cassian pulled your attention then, telling an animated story about how training had been going in the Illyrian mountains.Â
Azriel wasnât really listening, still studying you. You laughed at something that Cassian had said, the sound bright, bouncing off the walls, your smile lighting up your face. The tightness in Azrielâs chest eased a bit.
Feyre and Elain beckoned you into the kitchen then, and you followed, leaving Azriel and Cassian alone in the sitting room for the moment.Â
Cassian nodded after you, shooting Azriel a knowing look. âWhatâs the deal with her?â
âI donât know,â Azriel said, sighing. âSheâs been⊠off lately.â
Cassian looked contemplative. âHave you ever thought about⊠you knowâŠâ he raised his eyebrows suggestively.
âWhat, being with her? Romantically?â Azriel furrowed his brow.
âYeah. I mean, you guys are cuddly enough.â
âNot like that, though,â Azriel said. âNo, itâs never been like that between us.â
Cassian shrugged. âOkay. But, you never thought that you might be missing out?â
Azriel thought about it for a moment, what it would be like. âI donât know. Iâve never thought about her like that.â
âMaybe you should.â
Before Azriel could respond, Nesta stalked into the room, taking Cassianâs attention completely.Â
---
It had been months since you had come home from that terrible date, since Azriel had held you that night, since your mind and your heart began to wonder.
Azriel had always been your friend. Though he was beautiful and amazing, you had never before thought about being anything other than his friend. Nothing between you had really changed at all in the last few months, and yetâŠÂ
It was Azrielâs face in your mind as you fell asleep. It was Azrielâs touches that you dreamed of, over and over again. It was Azriel, who knew you so well, who was always, always there for you, that occupied your mind day in and day out.
You knew he had sensed a shift in you. But you didnât think he understood what that shift was. That you had, without even really realizing it, fallen in love with him.Â
Cauldron, you were doomed.Â
âWhere did you just go?â Feyre said, bringing you out of your thoughts.
âNowhere,â you lied.
She narrowed her eyes at you, bouncing Nyx in her lap.Â
âOkay, I actually really need to talk to somebody about this. But if I tell you, you canât tell anybody, not even Rhys.â
Her eyes widened in surprise, but she nodded in agreement.Â
âI kinda have feelings for Azriel.â
Feyre bit her lip, trying to hide her surprise. âSince when?â
You shrugged. âIt happened slowly. Little things started sticking out to me all of a sudden and now⊠Now I canât stop thinking about him. And I donât know what to do.â
âYou could tell him how you feel,â Feyre offered, smiling softly.
You groaned. âBut I donât think he sees me that way. If I tell him, it could ruin our whole friendship.â
Feyre tilted her head, contemplating. âYou think so? Even if he doesnât feel the same way, heâs Az. I canât imagine that he would ever abandon someone he loves for any reason.â
âI guess,â you said distantly. âBut it would make things really awkward, at the very least.â
Feyre smiled. âOr, it could turn into something amazing.â
You scoffed. âWith our luck in love? Unlikely.â
âMaybe nothing has worked out for you two so far because youâre supposed to be together.â
Your heart swelled at the thought, but you stomped down the hope. âMaybe,â you said, your mind wandering again. âMaybe.â
---
Your blood rushed in your ears, your body tense as you and Azriel sat together in the sitting room of the House the next evening. It physically hurt to be near him these days. Your body ached to be close to his.
âWhatâs up with you?â Azriel asked.
âNothing, I justâŠâ you trailed off, looking across the room at him, willing yourself to tell the truth. âI love you, Az.â
He smiled. âI love you, too.â
He didnât get it. He didnât bat an eye at you, at his friend he had loved platonically for so long. Your heart sank.Â
It hurt to look at him now. You knew it couldn't be the same between you, not now that you had foolishly fallen for him.Â
You took a sip of your drink, wishing it was stronger, and forced yourself through easy conversation with your best friend.Â
---
âWhatâs wrong?â you asked him immediately upon seeing him weeks later, and Azriel couldnât help but smile. You had always been able to sense the shift in his mood, even if things had felt⊠different between the two of you lately.
He sighed. âWeâre unlucky in love, you and I.â
You stiffened, and he wondered if he had said something wrong, but continued. âYou know, the whole Mor, ElainâŠthing. Iâve just been thinking about what you said that night ages ago. I just wonder when itâll happen for us.â
Azrielâs eyes flicked to you, and you gulped, tense in a way heâd never seen when it was just the two of you. âWhat is it?â he asked.
âNothing,â you said, too quickly. âIâm sorry. That youâre feeling unlucky in love.â
He lifted a brow. âAre you okay?â
You nodded then stood up quickly, walking toward the door. Azriel stood, wrapping his fingers around your wrist, pulling gently so you would turn back to face him. âHey. Talk to me,â he said softly.
Your eyes swam with emotion, and you seemed to be pondering what to say. âI canât talk to you about this,â you said quietly, your voice breaking.
âWhat do you mean?â Azriel tried to push down the hurt he felt. âWe talk about everything.â
âNot this, Az,â you said sadly, before gently pulling your hand out of his grasp and disappearing down the hallway.
What the hell.Â
Azriel spent nearly an hour contemplating what had just happened. Were you upset with him? Or were you just keeping something from him? If you were, why?
He ran over the last several weeks in his mind, all of his interactions with you. You had definitely been acting differently around him, sitting further away from him, not spending as much time with him one-on-one, but he assumed you would talk to him when you were ready. Evidently, you still were not ready. But, what could it possibly be that you couldnât talk to him about it?
It was your relationships, well your lack of relationship with Mor and Elain that seemed to set this off.Â
And then he remembered what Cassian had said weeks ago, that maybe he should consider you as a romantic partner. His brother was always smarter than most people gave him credit for. Did Cassian know something? Was he trying to tell Azriel?
His head spun. Did you have feelings for him?
It would actually explain a lot of your behavior for the past few weeks, especially if you thought that he didnât feel the same way.Â
Did he feel the same way?
He sat back in his chair. Why hadnât he ever considered you before? You were beautiful, of course, and one of the very best people he had ever known. And you were his best friend, who knew him better than he knew himself, in many ways. Who he could talk to about anything. Who already loved him so much.Â
Maybe he should be with you.Â
He did love you, of course. So⊠maybe the two of you should give it a shot.
Before he could think it through, he went to your room, knocking gently. He had to know if he was right.
You answered the door in a thin night dress, your hair cascading down your shoulders. Gods, you were beautiful. What an idiot he'd been.
âAz?â You asked.
Before he could talk himself out of it, he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling your body into his. He gauged your reaction, waiting for you to tense, but you didn't. You melted into him, placing your hand on his chest and gazing up at him with big, beautiful eyes.
Slowly, so slowly, he leaned down, and you tilted your face up to meet him, longing written all over your face. His heart rate spiked as his lips finally met yours.
The kiss was slow, sweet, exploratory. A new dance between old friends.Â
You moaned slightly, twining your fingers into his hair, pulling him closer to you.
He growled, pushing you back further into your bedroom, kicking the door shut with his foot.
You had a long night ahead of you.
---
It had been about a week since you and Azriel had stepped into a new form of your relationship.
It was funny, actually. Not that much had actually changed, except you were more comfortable around him now, like you had been before the last few weeks had complicated things. The two of you spent so much time together one on one before, the only difference now was all the kissing and the bedroom activities. And how many times you would tell him that you loved him, your eyes shining with that love.
He was starting to feel like he hadn't thought it all the way through. He loved you. Of course he did. But, he was worried that your love for him was deeper. And he couldn't bear the thought of hurting you.
âWhere'd your mind go, Az?â Cassian asked, and Rhysand chuckled.
âHe's thinking about his new girlfriend,â Rhys grinned.
Azrielâs jaw tightened. âI'm worried,â he admitted.
âAbout?â Cassian asked, leaning forward, his full attention on Azriel.
âI think her feelings are deeper than mine. I'm starting to worry that I may haveâŠâ he trailed off, not wanting to admit it.
âSettled?â Rhys offered.
Azriel winced, but nodded. âMaybe.â
âWhat, you don't love her?â Cassian asked.
âI do. Of course I love her.â
âWell, there you go,â Cassian said, waving a hand dismissively. âI think you're overthinking this.â
âMaybe just give it time,â Rhysand said contemplatively. âYou know how she is. She feels things very deeply. You might catch up to her faster than you think.â
âMaybe. I hope so,â Azriel said, his mind wandering away again, back to you. Back to the love that shone in your eyes when you looked at him.
He would have to be careful. He would not break your heart. He wouldn't be able to live with himself.
---
Years later, snuggled up to Azriel, watching children screaming and running around the River House the night before Winter Solstice, you couldnât imagine being happier.Â
Azriel and you had been talking about trying for children soon. Your heart swelled as you watched Cassianâs and Rhysandâs children grow up together, picturing your own children growing up in all this love, with cousins and aunts and uncles who would love them so much.
You smiled and Azriel kissed your temple. âI know exactly what youâre thinking,â he murmured into your skin.Â
âYou do not,â you smiled.
âI do,â he said, ducking his head to whisper in your ear. âYou wanna try for a baby tonight?â His breath tickled your ear, his voice dipping suggestively.Â
You laughed, playfully shoving him away, and he grinned. âTonight? The one night a year we sleep under the same roof as our entire family? Absolutely not.âÂ
He pulled you into his lap, kissing you sweetly. âTomorrow then?â he whispered.Â
You rolled your eyes, but your heart swelled with love. âWeâll see,â you teased.Â
Elain called you into the kitchen then, and you went to join her, shooting a wink at Az over your shoulder as you went. He grinned.
Your family was scattered all over the house, leaving Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel alone in the living room next to the kitchen with some of the children.
You could hear them laughing together as you helped Elain prep some of the food for the following morning.Â
Your ears perked up when you heard your name and Elain shot you a curious look, clearly eavesdropping along with you.
âRemember when you two first got together?â Rhysand asked, likely to Azriel.
âYes,â Az chuckled softly. âWeâve come a long way since then.â
âI canât believe you were ever unsure about her,â Cassian said. âThat you were worried you had settled.â
Shock jolted through your entire body, your blood pounding in your ears. You nearly dropped the plate that you were holding.
âI was a fool,â Azriel said, and you could picture him shaking his head slightly. âI canât imagine life without her. I canât believe I lasted so long just being her friend.â
âSheâs got you wrapped around her little finger,â Rhysand teased.Â
âOh, like youâre not the same with Feyre,â Azriel shot back, and all three brothers erupted into laughter.Â
You looked at Elain finally, her expression solemn, like she could see right through to your soul, how broken you felt.Â
Without a word, you left the kitchen, going up to the guest room that you and Azriel occupied when you stayed with Feyre and Rhysand.Â
Azriel had settled for you. He was sad that night that he first kissed you, sad about not getting a shot with Mor or Elain, so he had gone to the one person he knew would never deny him.Â
All this time, all these years, he had just been settling with you because he didnât want to be alone. You felt sick.
You had fallen in love with him, and to him you were just there. Ready for the taking. Thatâs why he chose you.Â
Your stomach lurched, and you scrambled to the bathroom, spilling your guts, hot tears streaming down your face, sobs shaking your whole body.
---
Azriel frowned sometime later, wondering why you hadnât come back yet. He wandered away from his brothers, finding Elain alone in the kitchen. She frowned at him as he entered, looking angrier than he had ever seen her.Â
âWhatâs wrong?â he asked.
âWhy donât you go ask your wife?â
He furrowed his brow. âWhat do you mean? Where is she?â
âShe went upstairs a while ago,â Elain said curtly, turning back to her pastries.Â
Azrielâs heart pounded. What had happened to make Elain angry at him? Why had you gone upstairs without saying goodnight to anyone?Â
He rushed up to the room, confused when he didnât see you anywhere, until he heard you sniffling in the washroom. His heart lurched, panic setting in as he swung the door open, finding you lying on the floor, hugging your legs to your chest, facing away from him.Â
He whispered your name, his anxiety increasing. When you didnât answer, he sat down next to you, rubbing your back soothingly, gently setting your head into his lap. He saw your tear stained cheeks, your red eyes, and the breath was sucked right out of his lungs.
âWhat happened, love? What is it?â he asked, trying to sound calm.
You refused to look at him, staring ahead blankly.Â
He had never seen you like this. âHoney, youâre scaring me, please tell me whatâs wrong,â he said, his voice breaking.Â
Finally, you sat up and walked back into the bedroom, still not looking at him. As you did, you mumbled, âyou settled.â
âWhat?â he asked, following you into the bedroom.Â
You slid under the covers, facing away from him. âYou settled with me. You didnât want to be alone, so you kissed me that night. And you settled with me.â
âI didnât,â he said, quietly. âI did not settle. I love you. So much.â
You buried yourself further into the covers, hiding yourself from him. His heart ached. âAll this time,â you whispered. âAll this time. You must have been just waiting for Mor or Elain to change their minds, huh?â
âNo,â he said, his voice coming out quiet and crackly. He rounded the bed, willing you to look at him. He settled on his knees, looking into your eyes, cupping your cheek with a scarred hand. âNo. It was never like that. It was never about them. I love you, I always have,â he said, willing you to believe him, to feel that he meant it.Â
A tear slid down your cheek. His heart broke further as he wiped it away gently with his thumb. âThatâs not what Cassian said,â you whispered.
Azriel sighed, his eyes pleading. âI was worried. When we first started dating, I was worried that your feelings were deeper than mine. You always feel things so deeply, my love, and thatâs one of the things that I love the most about you. I was scared that I wasnât at the same level that you were, and you would get hurt because of it.â
âLooks like I have,â you whispered.Â
âBut itâs not like that now, it hasnât been like that for years. Iâve known for so long that you are the only person in the world that I could ever want. Please,â Azriel whispered. âPlease believe that I am so in love with you. It was one stupid conversation ages ago, and Iâm so sorry that I hurt you, but you have to believe me. You are the love of my life.â
âI donât know how to believe you right now,â you said quietly, your voice breaking.Â
Azrielâs heart broke completely. Your face was completely blank in a way he had never seen before. âWhat can I do?âÂ
âI donât know, Az. I need -- I need space.â
He gulped, but nodded, rising to his feet slowly âOkay. Iâll be downstairs, if you need me.â
You didnât respond. He willed his legs to move, to leave you behind, broken, in the bed you were supposed to share.
Cassian and Rhys were the only people left downstairs by the time he made it back down, drinking and laughing together.Â
One look at their brotherâs face, and they went silent.
âI fucked up,â Azriel said, taking the glass from Cassianâs hand and shooting the amber liquid back in one gulp.
Cassian handed Azriel the whole bottle, who would have laughed, if he hadnât ripped his own heart to shreds that night.
He took a swig before saying quietly, âshe heard our conversation. She thinks I settled with her.â
âShit,â Cassian said, his face falling.Â
âWhat did you tell her?â Rhys asked, his expression solemn too.
âThe truth. I was worried that in the beginning that she loved me more than I loved her, but now⊠Gods, Iâm so in love with her. But she said she canât trust me anymore,â he said, a tear running down his cheek before he quickly wiped it away.
His brothers were silent for a moment, thinking.Â
After a moment, Cassian said, âYeah, I donât know how you fix this, Az.â
Azriel laughed humorlessly, taking another sip from the bottle. âThanks.â
âShe might just need some time,â Rhysand said.Â
âYou didnât see her,â Azriel said, his voice breaking again. âShe wasâŠâ he trailed off and shook his head. âIâve never seen her like that. Sheâs wrecked. Because of me.âÂ
His brothers stayed up with him for a long time, trying to console him, but he eventually sent them away to their happy mates who still loved them.Â
He laid on the couch, his wings drooping on the floor, his heart hurting. He hadnât spent a night away from you since you had gotten together unless he was on a mission. This felt fundamentally wrong.
Eventually, he got up, wandering through the quiet house. He made his way into the study, digging out some paper. He had to fix this. He needed you to understand.Â
---
Youâd barely slept at all, and winced when the sun started lightly filtering into the room that shouldnât be so empty.Â
You didnât know how to feel, what to think. You knew Azriel loved you. But was it enough? Was it the same, all-consuming love that you felt for him?Â
How could you ever be sure?
After just one night, you missed the heat of his body against yours, hated rolling over to see the other side of the bed empty.Â
Cauldron, you had been talking about children less than 12 hours ago, and nowâŠ
You shoved the thought away, your eyes still burning from crying all night. You refused to start up again.Â
What a Winter Solstice this would turn out to be. Maybe you should just go home.
Alone, in the apartment that you had turned into a home with Azriel. Your bottom lip trembled, and you bit it, hard. You were strong, you would survive this.Â
Whatever this ended up being.
Your mind was still spinning and you hadnât yet gotten out of bed when there was a tentative knock on your door.Â
âWhat?â you said, quietly, your voice not sounding like your own.
Azriel opened the door slowly, studying you as he lingered in the doorway. He looked awful, bags under his eyes, his clothes rumpled, his hair a mess, like he had run his hand through it over and over again.Â
âHey,â he said quietly.Â
âHi,â you replied timidly.
His face fell and you knew why. You had never sounded like that, not with him.Â
He took a cautious step into the room, watching you closely. âI made something. For when you're ready,â he said, placing a stack of papers on the bedside table.Â
You remained silent, not sure what to say. He swallowed, and turned to leave, but he stopped in the doorway, turning back to you. âI do love you. So much.â
His expression was pained, and you could tell he wanted to say more, but he just looked at you sadly before disappearing behind the door he closed behind him.Â
It wasnât until after you took a long bath that you had the courage to look at the papers he had left for you. You sat on the bed, pulling them into your lap, surprised at how many pages there were.Â
On the top, in Azrielâs handwriting it said, âTo My Dearest Love.â
Despite everything, you couldnât stop the swell in your chest, the love that you felt for him.Â
You were shocked as you read through page after page. He had written your story, the story of your love from his perspective, every date you had gone on, every Winter Solstice, every milestone. He detailed his thoughts as he went through each of those moments, all the things he loved about you, when he noticed new little things about you, even after being friends for so long.Â
Tears were streaming down your face by the time you got to the end, where it read:Â
You, my love, are everything. Everything. If youâll let me, Iâll spend the rest of our lives proving it to you.Â
Iâm sorry that I was a fool. Iâll always be sorry that I hurt you.Â
Whatever you decide, whatever you want going forward, I just hope that youâll know how deeply I love you.Â
---
Azriel had gone to the annual snowball fight with his brothers, only for a distraction. But his heart wasnât in it, and after about ten minutes, his brothers had deemed his snowball game so pathetic that they called it off and all went inside to the cabin to drink.Â
He knew he was being tragic company, so Azriel went back to the River House on his own, prepared to find a quiet corner to sulk in by himself. He hoped you had read what he stayed up all night writing, at least. Even if it didnât change anythingâŠÂ
He didnât let himself dwell on what could happen. He didnât know what he would do if you left him.Â
He nearly fell over when he noticed that you were sitting in the living room that he had used his shadows to winnow into.Â
You looked surprised too, but not unhappy. Relief flooded through him.Â
âHi,â you said, quietly.Â
âHi,â he said, his voice raspy.Â
You stood up, walking toward him slowly, stopping a few steps from him. He longed to hold you, to make it all better, but he stayed where he was.
âI read it,â you whispered.Â
He could only nod, his heart in his throat.Â
Tears welled up in your eyes, and his heart shattered, terror flooding through him before you closed the distance between you, wrapping your arms around him, burying your face in his chest.Â
He hugged you back instantly, holding you to him with crushing force.Â
âI donât want to be mad at you anymore,â you said into his chest. âI love you.â
Azriel felt like he was going to fall over, the only thing that was keeping him standing was you. âI love you,â he said, letting the tears fall freely down his cheeks, resting his chin on the top of your head. âI love you, Iâm so sorry.â
You shook your head. âYou donât have to be sorry. I get it now. What you wrote -- it helped me understand. And it was beautiful.â
âIâm still sorry I hurt you,â he said, his voice cracking.
You stood on your tiptoes to kiss him gently. âItâs okay, Az. Iâm okay.â
Azriel took your face in his hands gently, kissing you like his life depended on it. He felt like it did.Â
You let him kiss you for ages, until the two of you realized that you were no longer alone. Azriel looked up to see that his brothers and winnowed in and were now staring at the two of you.Â
âOh, thank the Mother,â Cassian said, bracing his hands on his knees dramatically before coming up and hugging you, lifting you into the air, while Rhys laughed behind him. âYou guys really had me worried.â
âI take it you worked it all out?â Rhysand asked, kissing your cheek after Cassian set you back on the ground.Â
âYeah, weâre okay now,â you said, laughing at them.
Rhysand and Cassian did look extremely relieved, which made Azrielâs heart swell. He would always be thankful for his brothers.Â
---
After a surprisingly successful Winter Solstice, you and Azriel made your way back home, now cuddling together in your bed, holding each other tightly.Â
Azriel kissed the top of your head. âIâll always be so thankful for you. I donât know how I got so lucky.â
You snuggled closer into him. âWeâre both lucky.â
Azriel laughed. âSpeaking of getting lucky⊠you want to try for that baby now?â
You gawked at him, incredulously. âWhat, too soon?â he asked, smirking.
âMales are ridiculous,â you scolded him.Â
After a beat, Azriel risked it. âI didnât hear a noâŠâ
You laughed, pulling him into a kiss. âYouâre so stupid.â
Azriel grinned. âOh, I know.â
@thalia-as-blog @saltedcoffeescotch @batboyrhyrhy @1-s1mp-t00-much
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AHH! thank youuu!! đ„°đ©·đ«¶đ»
I Love You, It's Ruining My Life
Pairing: Azriel x Bestfriend! Reader
Summary: Azriel and Reader have been best friends for years, and slowly Reader starts to fall for him. He eventually feels the same way, but after Reader overhears a conversation she wasnât meant to, she has doubts about him.
Based on this request! đ©·
Warnings: angst with a happy ending, a little swearing
Work Count: 5.2k
You twisted around in front of the mirror, trying to look at the dress from every angle. âWhat do you think, Az?â
Your friend looked at you, his eyes trailing down your body, and wrinkled his nose. âNo.â
âReally?â You faced the mirror again, cocking your head. âI think itâs pretty.â
âIt cinches weirdly around your middle,â he said.
You studied yourself in the mirror again, realizing he was right. âWow. See, this is why I bring you along. Who knew your spymaster focus would be so helpful for fashion.â
He laughed, throwing his head back against the couch he was sitting on, and you couldnât help but smile. You always felt a twinge of pride whenever you could make the stoic shadowsinger laugh like that.
âSo this one, then?â You asked, gesturing to the first dress you had tried on earlier.Â
âThat is the one,â he shot you a lopsided smile. âThe poor fool wonât know what hit him.â
Later, you plopped down into the chair next to Azrielâs in the sitting room at the House, groaning.Â
Azriel arched a brow in question.Â
âYou were right,â you sighed. âHe was a fool.â
Az poured you some of the amber liquid he was drinking, handing the glass to you. âWhat kind of fool? Do I need to defend your honor?â he asked, a hard edge to his voice.
Laughing dryly, you said. âNo, nothing like that. Just a lame date. I canât believe I bought a new dress for that guy.â
He smiled sadly at you. âHey, the right guy will go crazy for that dress.â
You winced, taking a sip of the drink. âI guess,â you grumbled.
âCome here,â he said, opening his arms. âYou know I wonât let you be all grumbly by yourself.âÂ
Smiling faintly, you rose from your seat and settled in his lap, resting your head on his shoulder, his arms wrapping comfortingly around you.Â
âWhenâs it gonna happen for us, Az? When do we get to find what Rhys and Feyre have?â You asked, quietly.Â
He sighed, leaning his cheek into the top of your head. âI donât know. But at least you and I are alone together.âÂ
You laughed, and he tightened his arms around you slightly, clearly pleased. You felt your sad heart mending slightly as your best friend in the world held you long into the night.
---
A few days later, you sighed, pushing your food around your plate at lunch in Velaris with Azriel.
Azriel watched you, those hazel eyes calculating. âYouâre not still moping about that date, are you?â
âIâm not moping,â you scolded him. âAnd no, of course itâs not about the date. He is not worthy of my sighs.â
The side of his mouth curved into a smile. âSo, what is it then?â
Shrugging noncommittally, you said, âHonestly, I donât know. I just feelâŠbummed.â
That smile of his dropped, his mouth thinning into a line. âAre you done eating?â
You blinked, confused. âYeah, I think so.â
He tossed money onto the table, nodding his head to the side, indicating it was time to go. âCome on.â
âWhere are we going?â You asked, rising to follow him.
âYouâll see,â he said, slinging his arm around your shoulders as you walked.Â
It took several minutes before you knew what he was planning and you grinned up at him as you realized where he was leading you.Â
He smiled, kissing the top of your head as you neared your favorite ice cream shop.Â
Your heart swelled as Azriel ordered your favorite ice cream. You should have known. Your parents had always taken you here when you needed a pick-me-up, and Azriel had continued the tradition, knowing it always made you feel better, at least for a little bit.
Gazing up at the man who knew you so very well, your heart began to crack.
---
Azriel wrapped an arm around your shoulder as you settled on the couch beside him, tucking you against his side as his whole family roamed around the River House.Â
It had been Feyreâs idea to get everyone together for an evening, just to spend time in each otherâs company.Â
âHow are you?â he said, eyes boring into yours. He had been extra watchful of you lately, since your mood had dimmed weeks ago. He couldnât understand why this dark cloud had been following you around lately. It broke his heart that he couldnât fix it.
âGood,â you murmured, smiling faintly at him.Â
His brow furrowed, but before he could question you further, Cassian plopped down on the other side of you, grinning.
Cassian pulled your attention then, telling an animated story about how training had been going in the Illyrian mountains.Â
Azriel wasnât really listening, still studying you. You laughed at something that Cassian had said, the sound bright, bouncing off the walls, your smile lighting up your face. The tightness in Azrielâs chest eased a bit.
Feyre and Elain beckoned you into the kitchen then, and you followed, leaving Azriel and Cassian alone in the sitting room for the moment.Â
Cassian nodded after you, shooting Azriel a knowing look. âWhatâs the deal with her?â
âI donât know,â Azriel said, sighing. âSheâs been⊠off lately.â
Cassian looked contemplative. âHave you ever thought about⊠you knowâŠâ he raised his eyebrows suggestively.
âWhat, being with her? Romantically?â Azriel furrowed his brow.
âYeah. I mean, you guys are cuddly enough.â
âNot like that, though,â Azriel said. âNo, itâs never been like that between us.â
Cassian shrugged. âOkay. But, you never thought that you might be missing out?â
Azriel thought about it for a moment, what it would be like. âI donât know. Iâve never thought about her like that.â
âMaybe you should.â
Before Azriel could respond, Nesta stalked into the room, taking Cassianâs attention completely.Â
---
It had been months since you had come home from that terrible date, since Azriel had held you that night, since your mind and your heart began to wonder.
Azriel had always been your friend. Though he was beautiful and amazing, you had never before thought about being anything other than his friend. Nothing between you had really changed at all in the last few months, and yetâŠÂ
It was Azrielâs face in your mind as you fell asleep. It was Azrielâs touches that you dreamed of, over and over again. It was Azriel, who knew you so well, who was always, always there for you, that occupied your mind day in and day out.
You knew he had sensed a shift in you. But you didnât think he understood what that shift was. That you had, without even really realizing it, fallen in love with him.Â
Cauldron, you were doomed.Â
âWhere did you just go?â Feyre said, bringing you out of your thoughts.
âNowhere,â you lied.
She narrowed her eyes at you, bouncing Nyx in her lap.Â
âOkay, I actually really need to talk to somebody about this. But if I tell you, you canât tell anybody, not even Rhys.â
Her eyes widened in surprise, but she nodded in agreement.Â
âI kinda have feelings for Azriel.â
Feyre bit her lip, trying to hide her surprise. âSince when?â
You shrugged. âIt happened slowly. Little things started sticking out to me all of a sudden and now⊠Now I canât stop thinking about him. And I donât know what to do.â
âYou could tell him how you feel,â Feyre offered, smiling softly.
You groaned. âBut I donât think he sees me that way. If I tell him, it could ruin our whole friendship.â
Feyre tilted her head, contemplating. âYou think so? Even if he doesnât feel the same way, heâs Az. I canât imagine that he would ever abandon someone he loves for any reason.â
âI guess,â you said distantly. âBut it would make things really awkward, at the very least.â
Feyre smiled. âOr, it could turn into something amazing.â
You scoffed. âWith our luck in love? Unlikely.â
âMaybe nothing has worked out for you two so far because youâre supposed to be together.â
Your heart swelled at the thought, but you stomped down the hope. âMaybe,â you said, your mind wandering again. âMaybe.â
---
Your blood rushed in your ears, your body tense as you and Azriel sat together in the sitting room of the House the next evening. It physically hurt to be near him these days. Your body ached to be close to his.
âWhatâs up with you?â Azriel asked.
âNothing, I justâŠâ you trailed off, looking across the room at him, willing yourself to tell the truth. âI love you, Az.â
He smiled. âI love you, too.â
He didnât get it. He didnât bat an eye at you, at his friend he had loved platonically for so long. Your heart sank.Â
It hurt to look at him now. You knew it couldn't be the same between you, not now that you had foolishly fallen for him.Â
You took a sip of your drink, wishing it was stronger, and forced yourself through easy conversation with your best friend.Â
---
âWhatâs wrong?â you asked him immediately upon seeing him weeks later, and Azriel couldnât help but smile. You had always been able to sense the shift in his mood, even if things had felt⊠different between the two of you lately.
He sighed. âWeâre unlucky in love, you and I.â
You stiffened, and he wondered if he had said something wrong, but continued. âYou know, the whole Mor, ElainâŠthing. Iâve just been thinking about what you said that night ages ago. I just wonder when itâll happen for us.â
Azrielâs eyes flicked to you, and you gulped, tense in a way heâd never seen when it was just the two of you. âWhat is it?â he asked.
âNothing,â you said, too quickly. âIâm sorry. That youâre feeling unlucky in love.â
He lifted a brow. âAre you okay?â
You nodded then stood up quickly, walking toward the door. Azriel stood, wrapping his fingers around your wrist, pulling gently so you would turn back to face him. âHey. Talk to me,â he said softly.
Your eyes swam with emotion, and you seemed to be pondering what to say. âI canât talk to you about this,â you said quietly, your voice breaking.
âWhat do you mean?â Azriel tried to push down the hurt he felt. âWe talk about everything.â
âNot this, Az,â you said sadly, before gently pulling your hand out of his grasp and disappearing down the hallway.
What the hell.Â
Azriel spent nearly an hour contemplating what had just happened. Were you upset with him? Or were you just keeping something from him? If you were, why?
He ran over the last several weeks in his mind, all of his interactions with you. You had definitely been acting differently around him, sitting further away from him, not spending as much time with him one-on-one, but he assumed you would talk to him when you were ready. Evidently, you still were not ready. But, what could it possibly be that you couldnât talk to him about it?
It was your relationships, well your lack of relationship with Mor and Elain that seemed to set this off.Â
And then he remembered what Cassian had said weeks ago, that maybe he should consider you as a romantic partner. His brother was always smarter than most people gave him credit for. Did Cassian know something? Was he trying to tell Azriel?
His head spun. Did you have feelings for him?
It would actually explain a lot of your behavior for the past few weeks, especially if you thought that he didnât feel the same way.Â
Did he feel the same way?
He sat back in his chair. Why hadnât he ever considered you before? You were beautiful, of course, and one of the very best people he had ever known. And you were his best friend, who knew him better than he knew himself, in many ways. Who he could talk to about anything. Who already loved him so much.Â
Maybe he should be with you.Â
He did love you, of course. So⊠maybe the two of you should give it a shot.
Before he could think it through, he went to your room, knocking gently. He had to know if he was right.
You answered the door in a thin night dress, your hair cascading down your shoulders. Gods, you were beautiful. What an idiot he'd been.
âAz?â You asked.
Before he could talk himself out of it, he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling your body into his. He gauged your reaction, waiting for you to tense, but you didn't. You melted into him, placing your hand on his chest and gazing up at him with big, beautiful eyes.
Slowly, so slowly, he leaned down, and you tilted your face up to meet him, longing written all over your face. His heart rate spiked as his lips finally met yours.
The kiss was slow, sweet, exploratory. A new dance between old friends.Â
You moaned slightly, twining your fingers into his hair, pulling him closer to you.
He growled, pushing you back further into your bedroom, kicking the door shut with his foot.
You had a long night ahead of you.
---
It had been about a week since you and Azriel had stepped into a new form of your relationship.
It was funny, actually. Not that much had actually changed, except you were more comfortable around him now, like you had been before the last few weeks had complicated things. The two of you spent so much time together one on one before, the only difference now was all the kissing and the bedroom activities. And how many times you would tell him that you loved him, your eyes shining with that love.
He was starting to feel like he hadn't thought it all the way through. He loved you. Of course he did. But, he was worried that your love for him was deeper. And he couldn't bear the thought of hurting you.
âWhere'd your mind go, Az?â Cassian asked, and Rhysand chuckled.
âHe's thinking about his new girlfriend,â Rhys grinned.
Azrielâs jaw tightened. âI'm worried,â he admitted.
âAbout?â Cassian asked, leaning forward, his full attention on Azriel.
âI think her feelings are deeper than mine. I'm starting to worry that I may haveâŠâ he trailed off, not wanting to admit it.
âSettled?â Rhys offered.
Azriel winced, but nodded. âMaybe.â
âWhat, you don't love her?â Cassian asked.
âI do. Of course I love her.â
âWell, there you go,â Cassian said, waving a hand dismissively. âI think you're overthinking this.â
âMaybe just give it time,â Rhysand said contemplatively. âYou know how she is. She feels things very deeply. You might catch up to her faster than you think.â
âMaybe. I hope so,â Azriel said, his mind wandering away again, back to you. Back to the love that shone in your eyes when you looked at him.
He would have to be careful. He would not break your heart. He wouldn't be able to live with himself.
---
Years later, snuggled up to Azriel, watching children screaming and running around the River House the night before Winter Solstice, you couldnât imagine being happier.Â
Azriel and you had been talking about trying for children soon. Your heart swelled as you watched Cassianâs and Rhysandâs children grow up together, picturing your own children growing up in all this love, with cousins and aunts and uncles who would love them so much.
You smiled and Azriel kissed your temple. âI know exactly what youâre thinking,â he murmured into your skin.Â
âYou do not,â you smiled.
âI do,â he said, ducking his head to whisper in your ear. âYou wanna try for a baby tonight?â His breath tickled your ear, his voice dipping suggestively.Â
You laughed, playfully shoving him away, and he grinned. âTonight? The one night a year we sleep under the same roof as our entire family? Absolutely not.âÂ
He pulled you into his lap, kissing you sweetly. âTomorrow then?â he whispered.Â
You rolled your eyes, but your heart swelled with love. âWeâll see,â you teased.Â
Elain called you into the kitchen then, and you went to join her, shooting a wink at Az over your shoulder as you went. He grinned.
Your family was scattered all over the house, leaving Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel alone in the living room next to the kitchen with some of the children.
You could hear them laughing together as you helped Elain prep some of the food for the following morning.Â
Your ears perked up when you heard your name and Elain shot you a curious look, clearly eavesdropping along with you.
âRemember when you two first got together?â Rhysand asked, likely to Azriel.
âYes,â Az chuckled softly. âWeâve come a long way since then.â
âI canât believe you were ever unsure about her,â Cassian said. âThat you were worried you had settled.â
Shock jolted through your entire body, your blood pounding in your ears. You nearly dropped the plate that you were holding.
âI was a fool,â Azriel said, and you could picture him shaking his head slightly. âI canât imagine life without her. I canât believe I lasted so long just being her friend.â
âSheâs got you wrapped around her little finger,â Rhysand teased.Â
âOh, like youâre not the same with Feyre,â Azriel shot back, and all three brothers erupted into laughter.Â
You looked at Elain finally, her expression solemn, like she could see right through to your soul, how broken you felt.Â
Without a word, you left the kitchen, going up to the guest room that you and Azriel occupied when you stayed with Feyre and Rhysand.Â
Azriel had settled for you. He was sad that night that he first kissed you, sad about not getting a shot with Mor or Elain, so he had gone to the one person he knew would never deny him.Â
All this time, all these years, he had just been settling with you because he didnât want to be alone. You felt sick.
You had fallen in love with him, and to him you were just there. Ready for the taking. Thatâs why he chose you.Â
Your stomach lurched, and you scrambled to the bathroom, spilling your guts, hot tears streaming down your face, sobs shaking your whole body.
---
Azriel frowned sometime later, wondering why you hadnât come back yet. He wandered away from his brothers, finding Elain alone in the kitchen. She frowned at him as he entered, looking angrier than he had ever seen her.Â
âWhatâs wrong?â he asked.
âWhy donât you go ask your wife?â
He furrowed his brow. âWhat do you mean? Where is she?â
âShe went upstairs a while ago,â Elain said curtly, turning back to her pastries.Â
Azrielâs heart pounded. What had happened to make Elain angry at him? Why had you gone upstairs without saying goodnight to anyone?Â
He rushed up to the room, confused when he didnât see you anywhere, until he heard you sniffling in the washroom. His heart lurched, panic setting in as he swung the door open, finding you lying on the floor, hugging your legs to your chest, facing away from him.Â
He whispered your name, his anxiety increasing. When you didnât answer, he sat down next to you, rubbing your back soothingly, gently setting your head into his lap. He saw your tear stained cheeks, your red eyes, and the breath was sucked right out of his lungs.
âWhat happened, love? What is it?â he asked, trying to sound calm.
You refused to look at him, staring ahead blankly.Â
He had never seen you like this. âHoney, youâre scaring me, please tell me whatâs wrong,â he said, his voice breaking.Â
Finally, you sat up and walked back into the bedroom, still not looking at him. As you did, you mumbled, âyou settled.â
âWhat?â he asked, following you into the bedroom.Â
You slid under the covers, facing away from him. âYou settled with me. You didnât want to be alone, so you kissed me that night. And you settled with me.â
âI didnât,â he said, quietly. âI did not settle. I love you. So much.â
You buried yourself further into the covers, hiding yourself from him. His heart ached. âAll this time,â you whispered. âAll this time. You must have been just waiting for Mor or Elain to change their minds, huh?â
âNo,â he said, his voice coming out quiet and crackly. He rounded the bed, willing you to look at him. He settled on his knees, looking into your eyes, cupping your cheek with a scarred hand. âNo. It was never like that. It was never about them. I love you, I always have,â he said, willing you to believe him, to feel that he meant it.Â
A tear slid down your cheek. His heart broke further as he wiped it away gently with his thumb. âThatâs not what Cassian said,â you whispered.
Azriel sighed, his eyes pleading. âI was worried. When we first started dating, I was worried that your feelings were deeper than mine. You always feel things so deeply, my love, and thatâs one of the things that I love the most about you. I was scared that I wasnât at the same level that you were, and you would get hurt because of it.â
âLooks like I have,â you whispered.Â
âBut itâs not like that now, it hasnât been like that for years. Iâve known for so long that you are the only person in the world that I could ever want. Please,â Azriel whispered. âPlease believe that I am so in love with you. It was one stupid conversation ages ago, and Iâm so sorry that I hurt you, but you have to believe me. You are the love of my life.â
âI donât know how to believe you right now,â you said quietly, your voice breaking.Â
Azrielâs heart broke completely. Your face was completely blank in a way he had never seen before. âWhat can I do?âÂ
âI donât know, Az. I need -- I need space.â
He gulped, but nodded, rising to his feet slowly âOkay. Iâll be downstairs, if you need me.â
You didnât respond. He willed his legs to move, to leave you behind, broken, in the bed you were supposed to share.
Cassian and Rhys were the only people left downstairs by the time he made it back down, drinking and laughing together.Â
One look at their brotherâs face, and they went silent.
âI fucked up,â Azriel said, taking the glass from Cassianâs hand and shooting the amber liquid back in one gulp.
Cassian handed Azriel the whole bottle, who would have laughed, if he hadnât ripped his own heart to shreds that night.
He took a swig before saying quietly, âshe heard our conversation. She thinks I settled with her.â
âShit,â Cassian said, his face falling.Â
âWhat did you tell her?â Rhys asked, his expression solemn too.
âThe truth. I was worried that in the beginning that she loved me more than I loved her, but now⊠Gods, Iâm so in love with her. But she said she canât trust me anymore,â he said, a tear running down his cheek before he quickly wiped it away.
His brothers were silent for a moment, thinking.Â
After a moment, Cassian said, âYeah, I donât know how you fix this, Az.â
Azriel laughed humorlessly, taking another sip from the bottle. âThanks.â
âShe might just need some time,â Rhysand said.Â
âYou didnât see her,â Azriel said, his voice breaking again. âShe wasâŠâ he trailed off and shook his head. âIâve never seen her like that. Sheâs wrecked. Because of me.âÂ
His brothers stayed up with him for a long time, trying to console him, but he eventually sent them away to their happy mates who still loved them.Â
He laid on the couch, his wings drooping on the floor, his heart hurting. He hadnât spent a night away from you since you had gotten together unless he was on a mission. This felt fundamentally wrong.
Eventually, he got up, wandering through the quiet house. He made his way into the study, digging out some paper. He had to fix this. He needed you to understand.Â
---
Youâd barely slept at all, and winced when the sun started lightly filtering into the room that shouldnât be so empty.Â
You didnât know how to feel, what to think. You knew Azriel loved you. But was it enough? Was it the same, all-consuming love that you felt for him?Â
How could you ever be sure?
After just one night, you missed the heat of his body against yours, hated rolling over to see the other side of the bed empty.Â
Cauldron, you had been talking about children less than 12 hours ago, and nowâŠ
You shoved the thought away, your eyes still burning from crying all night. You refused to start up again.Â
What a Winter Solstice this would turn out to be. Maybe you should just go home.
Alone, in the apartment that you had turned into a home with Azriel. Your bottom lip trembled, and you bit it, hard. You were strong, you would survive this.Â
Whatever this ended up being.
Your mind was still spinning and you hadnât yet gotten out of bed when there was a tentative knock on your door.Â
âWhat?â you said, quietly, your voice not sounding like your own.
Azriel opened the door slowly, studying you as he lingered in the doorway. He looked awful, bags under his eyes, his clothes rumpled, his hair a mess, like he had run his hand through it over and over again.Â
âHey,â he said quietly.Â
âHi,â you replied timidly.
His face fell and you knew why. You had never sounded like that, not with him.Â
He took a cautious step into the room, watching you closely. âI made something. For when you're ready,â he said, placing a stack of papers on the bedside table.Â
You remained silent, not sure what to say. He swallowed, and turned to leave, but he stopped in the doorway, turning back to you. âI do love you. So much.â
His expression was pained, and you could tell he wanted to say more, but he just looked at you sadly before disappearing behind the door he closed behind him.Â
It wasnât until after you took a long bath that you had the courage to look at the papers he had left for you. You sat on the bed, pulling them into your lap, surprised at how many pages there were.Â
On the top, in Azrielâs handwriting it said, âTo My Dearest Love.â
Despite everything, you couldnât stop the swell in your chest, the love that you felt for him.Â
You were shocked as you read through page after page. He had written your story, the story of your love from his perspective, every date you had gone on, every Winter Solstice, every milestone. He detailed his thoughts as he went through each of those moments, all the things he loved about you, when he noticed new little things about you, even after being friends for so long.Â
Tears were streaming down your face by the time you got to the end, where it read:Â
You, my love, are everything. Everything. If youâll let me, Iâll spend the rest of our lives proving it to you.Â
Iâm sorry that I was a fool. Iâll always be sorry that I hurt you.Â
Whatever you decide, whatever you want going forward, I just hope that youâll know how deeply I love you.Â
---
Azriel had gone to the annual snowball fight with his brothers, only for a distraction. But his heart wasnât in it, and after about ten minutes, his brothers had deemed his snowball game so pathetic that they called it off and all went inside to the cabin to drink.Â
He knew he was being tragic company, so Azriel went back to the River House on his own, prepared to find a quiet corner to sulk in by himself. He hoped you had read what he stayed up all night writing, at least. Even if it didnât change anythingâŠÂ
He didnât let himself dwell on what could happen. He didnât know what he would do if you left him.Â
He nearly fell over when he noticed that you were sitting in the living room that he had used his shadows to winnow into.Â
You looked surprised too, but not unhappy. Relief flooded through him.Â
âHi,â you said, quietly.Â
âHi,â he said, his voice raspy.Â
You stood up, walking toward him slowly, stopping a few steps from him. He longed to hold you, to make it all better, but he stayed where he was.
âI read it,â you whispered.Â
He could only nod, his heart in his throat.Â
Tears welled up in your eyes, and his heart shattered, terror flooding through him before you closed the distance between you, wrapping your arms around him, burying your face in his chest.Â
He hugged you back instantly, holding you to him with crushing force.Â
âI donât want to be mad at you anymore,â you said into his chest. âI love you.â
Azriel felt like he was going to fall over, the only thing that was keeping him standing was you. âI love you,â he said, letting the tears fall freely down his cheeks, resting his chin on the top of your head. âI love you, Iâm so sorry.â
You shook your head. âYou donât have to be sorry. I get it now. What you wrote -- it helped me understand. And it was beautiful.â
âIâm still sorry I hurt you,â he said, his voice cracking.
You stood on your tiptoes to kiss him gently. âItâs okay, Az. Iâm okay.â
Azriel took your face in his hands gently, kissing you like his life depended on it. He felt like it did.Â
You let him kiss you for ages, until the two of you realized that you were no longer alone. Azriel looked up to see that his brothers and winnowed in and were now staring at the two of you.Â
âOh, thank the Mother,â Cassian said, bracing his hands on his knees dramatically before coming up and hugging you, lifting you into the air, while Rhys laughed behind him. âYou guys really had me worried.â
âI take it you worked it all out?â Rhysand asked, kissing your cheek after Cassian set you back on the ground.Â
âYeah, weâre okay now,â you said, laughing at them.
Rhysand and Cassian did look extremely relieved, which made Azrielâs heart swell. He would always be thankful for his brothers.Â
---
After a surprisingly successful Winter Solstice, you and Azriel made your way back home, now cuddling together in your bed, holding each other tightly.Â
Azriel kissed the top of your head. âIâll always be so thankful for you. I donât know how I got so lucky.â
You snuggled closer into him. âWeâre both lucky.â
Azriel laughed. âSpeaking of getting lucky⊠you want to try for that baby now?â
You gawked at him, incredulously. âWhat, too soon?â he asked, smirking.
âMales are ridiculous,â you scolded him.Â
After a beat, Azriel risked it. âI didnât hear a noâŠâ
You laughed, pulling him into a kiss. âYouâre so stupid.â
Azriel grinned. âOh, I know.â
@thalia-as-blog @saltedcoffeescotch @batboyrhyrhy @1-s1mp-t00-much
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Ahhh, thank you!! đ«¶đ»đ„°
You Drew Stars Around My Scars
Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Summary: Azriel and Reader meet one day and the connection is instantaneous. Azriel becomes worried though, when Reader starts showing up late to their dates more consistently. When the truth comes out, they need to figure out how to keep moving forward.
Based on this request! Thank you for sending it in, I hope you like it! đ©·
Word Count: 3.8k
The market was bustling today and Azriel cringed slightly, pulling his wings in even tighter behind him. He had no idea why Amren had insisted that he be the one to pick up the items she needed for her new project. Perhaps because she knew that he would be the least likely to complain.Â
He was approaching the stall that carried what Amren needed when his gaze snagged on someone at a neighboring one and he stopped dead in his tracks, causing the people around him to curse and move around him, irritated.
Azriel barely heard it though, his attention fully on you. You had a simple dress on, but it accentuated your curves beautifully, your hair was loose, falling down your back in ringlets. The way you moved was graceful as you picked up an item to inspect.Â
But your smile as you talked to the owner of the stall, the way it lit up your face with such kindness⊠that is what made Azrielâs knees feel like they were about to give out.
He longed to approach you, but by the time that he had come to his senses enough to start moving, you too had moved, working your way through the market. It was so crowded that he lost track of you.Â
Crestfallen, he went back to the stall and got the supplies for Amren.Â
---
Days later, Azriel still could not get you out of his mind. That damn smile haunted his dreams and his every waking moment.Â
So much so, that at the earliest opportunity, he went back to the market, his eyes raking the crowd for any sign of you. He seriously contemplated flying up to a rooftop for a better angle, but that would probably be frowned upon.Â
He perused the market, feeling a bit foolish. The Night Courtâs spymaster, reduced to wandering around the market on his day off like a lost puppy in hopes of finding a woman he didnât even know.
His spirits lifted dramatically though, when he saw you. You were perusing a stall, inspecting a jar with a shiny liquid inside.Â
Azriel didnât let himself hesitate this time, dodging people milling about as he strode for you. Eventually, he appeared at your side, and you looked up at him, so surprised to suddenly see a large, looming male next to you, that you dropped the jar that you were holding.
Smoothly, he caught it before it hit the ground and offered it to you. Your eyes sparked with recognition as you studied him: the wings, the Illyrian clothing, the shadows twirling around his biceps.Â
Your fingers brushed his as you took the jar back from him and you murmured, âThank you.â
He nodded, offering you a faint smile, not sure what to say. He hadnât thought this far ahead.
âYouâre the High Lordâs shadowsinger,â you said, looking up at him, sounding a little breathless.
âI am. But most people just call me Azriel,â he said, a note of humor edging his voice.
That smile you had offered the others before was now turned on him, and he felt as if the ground was swaying underneath him. You offered him your name, before saying, âI feel a bit like Iâm meeting a celebrity.â
Azriel could feel slight heat in his cheeks, and tried to maintain the neutral expression he nearly always wore. He waved his hand dismissively, âTrust me, Iâm not. Cassian is more of the celebrity. I mostly blend into the shadows.â
You tilted your head, looking up at him from beneath your lashes, studying the hard line of his jaw, his hazel eyes, the curve of his mouth. âThatâs a shame,â you said, a little wistfully.
Azrielâs heart was thundering now. âDo you want to get dinner?âÂ
Your smile widened. âI think I can make that happen. Tomorrow?â
âTomorrow,â he agreed.Â
You picked the restaurant and the time, and just like that, Azriel had a date.
---
The date was, in his opinion, nothing short of amazing.Â
He had arrived a bit early to dinner, and you waltzed up to the restaurant exactly on time, looking like a vision. Part of your hair was braided around your head like a crown, but part was still flowing down over your shoulders, curled. Your dress hugged the curve of your waist, the hem landing midway down your shin, perfect for the summer.Â
You beamed as you approached him, and Azriel had to concentrate to keep his breathing steady. The two of you were seated outside, watching the sun set over the river.Â
The conversation was easy. You kept it light and playful, grazing your hand against his bicep every once in a while when you laughed, the sound bright and beautiful.
Flirting, he realized. You were flirting with him. Laughing with him. Making him laugh.
Mother, when was the last time he had felt like this?
Had he ever felt like this?
After dinner ended, you stood up and gently took his hand in yours, tugging lightly so he stood up too, towering over you. âDo you want to take a walk?â you asked, your eyes sparkling under the stars that were out by then.Â
âLead the way,â he said, one side of his mouth turning up into a smile.
You led him to the artistsâ quarter, the lights vibrant against the night. He watched as your eyes lit up at the site, marveling at all the artwork, the people milling about.Â
âOh, look!â you exclaimed, excitedly pulling him to a painting of the mountains surrounding Velaris. âItâs beautiful,â you told the painter, who nodded in thanks, smiling.
Azriel couldnât help but stare as you took in the painting, your eyes alight.Â
âAre you a painter?â he asked.
âI try to be,â you grinned at him. âIâm not very good.â
Before he could respond, another painting caught your eye and you gasped, tugging on his hand, leading him through the crowd. Azriel laughed, and you turned back to smile at him, your whole face lighting up. His heart swelled.
On and on you went, his lifeboat pulling him through the sea of artists. He could have gone on like that forever, he thought.Â
You were about to pull him to another painting when you suddenly turned to him, flushed. âIâm sorry,â you said. âIâve gotten carried away, havenât I?â
Azriel shook his head, smiling. âNot at all.â
You smiled, seeming shy all of a sudden. âItâs late,â you said. âI should probably head back.âÂ
âCan I walk you home?â
Your smile grew and you nodded your head for him to follow. Your arms brushed as you walked, taking in the night air.Â
It was a short walk to your house, and you stopped before the door and smiled up at him. âThank you, Azriel. Tonight was⊠amazing.â
Azriel couldnât help but smile back at you. âIt was.â
You stood on your tiptoes and kissed his cheek lightly before turning to the door, and Azriel said your name, stopping you before you could open it. âCan I see you again?â
You beamed. âMeet me by the Rainbow in two days?â
Smirking, Azriel said, âAbsolutely.â
---
Azriel could hardly focus on anything else while he waited to see you again. His friends absolutely knew something was up with him, but did not pester him about it. Yet.Â
Two days after the initial date, Azriel was waiting in the Rainbow, where you had told him you wanted to meet.Â
He waited. And waited.
Trying to stomp down his growing anxiety that you wouldnât show, he gazed at the art around him. You had been right on time to your first date. Had you changed your mind about him?
He was about to walk through the artistsâ quarter, wondering if he had not remembered correctly where you wanted to meet, when you finally arrived, your cheeks flushed, but you looked beautiful as ever.Â
âIâm so sorry,â you said, a little breathless. âSomething came up -- itâs hard to explain. I swear I tried to be on time.âÂ
Azriel was just glad that you had come. âItâs alright,â he smiled reassuringly.Â
Your eyes twinkled under the stars, relieved. âThank you.â
His smile widened and he lightly squeezed your upper arm, trying to soothe you.Â
You smiled slowly and arched an eyebrow, mischief written all over your face. âSo, I had an idea.â
âIâd love to hear it.â
Laughing, you said, âLetâs go dancing.â
Azrielâs smile dropped. You laughed even more. âDancing,â he repeated.Â
âDancing,â you grinned.
âI canât dance.âÂ
âOh, please. Everyone can dance.âÂ
âNot me,â Azriel said, smiling despite himself.
âPlease,â she murmured, taking a step closer to him and looking up at him from under her lashes. âFor me?â
Azriel sighed, raking a hand through his hair. You knew you already had him wrapped around his little finger. âFine.â
You squealed with delight, taking his hand in yours and walking in the direction of the Velaris night clubs. Azriel tried to focus on the positives: your soft hand in his, how happy you were, how your hair bounced as you walked.
By the time you got to the nightclub, Azrielâs felt like his heart was in his throat. He really did not dance.
But you strode right in, glancing back at him with the biggest smile on your face. You led him right into the middle of the crowd of people pulsing with the music.Â
He stood still and watched as you moved your hips, your arms up above your head, twirling around like you didnât have a care in the world. I could easily fall in love with this woman, he thought. Easily.
You turned back to him and laughed brightly, placing your hands on his hips, trying to make them move. He didnât budge, which made you laugh even more. âCome on, shadowsinger. Live a little!â
He wanted to, if only to make you happy, but he couldnât focus on anything but your hands on him and that smile that knocked the breath out of his lungs.
Studying him for a moment, you said over the music, âOkay, I see we need to try a different tactic,â you said, taking his hand in yours and leading him to the edge of the dance floor, where it was less crowded.Â
You stepped right up to him then, so your bodies were barely an inch away. You took both of his hands and settled them on your hips, then placed your hands on his shoulders.Â
âDonât think so much, just move,â you said, your voice light and teasing.Â
He towered over you, watching as you moved your hips, lightly pushing and pulling on his shoulders so he would move with you. It took nearly a full song, but eventually his body relaxed, letting himself be guided by you.
âThere you go,â you grinned.Â
Suddenly, the song slowed significantly, and you looked up at him, becoming slightly shy again.Â
He gazed down at you, smiling faintly as he pulled you in closer to him, keeping one hand at your waist and taking one of your hands in his.Â
Azriel swore he saw your breath catch as you studied his face, eyes slightly wide. Azriel tightened his grip on you slightly when your eyes dipped to his mouth and lingered there.Â
Holding his breath, he leaned in slowly, stopping a breath away from your lips, giving you a moment to back up if you wanted to. But, you surged forward, connecting your mouth with his.Â
He smiled into the kiss, bringing a scarred hand up to gently cup your cheek.Â
You wrapped your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss, and as the music swelled to a crescendo, he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist, lifting you off the ground. You gasped into his mouth, bending your knees as he held you in the air.Â
Gently, he set you down a few moments later, and when he pulled back, you were smiling, your cheeks dusted red.Â
âThat might have been the most romantic thing thatâs ever happened to me,â you said, your tone teasing, but your eyes alight.Â
âMe too,â Azriel murmured, unable to tear his gaze away from your beautiful face.Â
The two of you spent hours together, and Azriel found himself unable to keep his hands off you. You seemed the same way, always placing a hand on his arm, on his shoulder, while he rested his hand on your hips, the small of your back, or held your hand in his.Â
For hours, he watched you dance, and willed his body to move with you, only because your eyes shined, your smile bright, when he did so.
At the end of the night, he walked you home once again, this time pulling you in by the waist and kissing you until you were breathless, twining his hand into your soft hair, your hands on his face.
---
Weeks passed, and the two of you kept meeting as often as your schedules would allow.Â
Azriel would have been on cloud nine⊠except that he was starting to have his doubts. When the two of you were together, it was amazing, a connection and energy that he had never felt with anybody before. In the privacy of his own mind, he was even willing to concede that he had absolutely fallen for you.
But he couldnât pretend that everything was perfect. You had been late to nearly every date. He would always be unnerved waiting for you, thinking that this would be the time that you would leave him hanging, never to be heard from again. But then, you would come, always breathless, like you had rushed to get there, and would apologize profusely, but never giving an explanation. Azriel couldnât help but wonder if you were not as interested in him as he was in you.
He considered talking to Cassian or Rhys about it, but had a suspicion that they would not be very helpful.
So eventually, he decided just to talk to you about it. He didnât want you to feel like you had to keep seeing him if you didnât want to.
There was clearly movement in your house as he approached. He took a deep breath before knocking.
Your eyes were wide in surprise, but not unhappy, when you opened the door. âAzriel,â you smiled. âWhat are you doing here?â
âI wanted to talk to you,â he said, quietly.Â
You opened your mouth to respond, but before anything could come out, a little boy, a toddler came running to the door, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw Azriel hulking in the doorway.Â
The boy gaped at Azriel, his mouth hanging open in shock, before turning to you, âMom! Thatâs the shadowsinger!â he squealed, running up to said shadowsinger and wrapping his tiny arms around Azrielâs legs, his head not even meeting Azrielâs knees. The boy looked up at Azriel in awe, âyou are so cool.â
Azrielâs head spun, trying to process the information in front of him, but he couldnât focus over the feeling of his heart absolutely melting as he gazed at this boy, full of such joy. He patted the boyâs back, smiling. âYou think so?â
He nodded vigorously, his curly hair that matched his motherâs flicking over his eyes. âI wish I could be a spy.â
Azriel grinned. âI can teach you, if your mom says itâs okay.â
The boy gasped, and Azriel looked at you for the first time since your son had made himself known. You looked like you were about to cry, your hands clasped in front of you. He couldnât tell if that was a good thing or not.
âHoney, why donât you go play for a little bit?â you said, your voice slightly shaky, steering your son into the other room. âMom has to talk to Mr. Shadowsinger about grownup stuff for a little bit.â
He pouted a bit, but did as he was told, reluctantly untangling himself from Azriel and toddling into the next room.
You sighed when you were alone with Azriel, searching his face.
âThis is why youâve been late,â Azriel said, his voice thick with emotion.
You nodded. âIâm sorry.â
Azriel took your hand in his, trying to ground himself. âWhy didnât you just tell me?â
Your eyes filled with tears, and Azrielâs heart cracked. âMost males arenât interested in raising someone elseâs kid. And I liked you⊠I was too scared to lose you.â
There was no breath in Azrielâs lungs. He ached for you, for what you had no doubt been through with other males who you tried to date. He wanted to rip them to shreds. Slowly, he leaned down, gently kissing each tear away.Â
âIâm not going anywhere,â he said softly, leaning his forehead against yours. âNot unless you want me to.âÂ
You sniffed, looking up at him through damp lashes. âI donât want you to.â
Azriel smiled softly. âGood,â he murmured, pulling you into his chest, resting his chin on the top of your head.
You stayed like that for a while, holding each other, before he asked, âWhatâs his name?â
âJax.â
âDo you think Jax has it in him to be a spymaster?â
You laughed against his chest, and Azriel smiled into your hair. âI think he can be whatever he wants to be.â
He pulled back to look at you, tilting his face down to meet your eye. âDo you want me in his life? If itâs too soon, thatâs okay. But I would love to get to know him, eventually.â
That beautiful smile shone on your face as you said, âI would love that.â
For the rest of the afternoon, Azriel taught Jax how to be a spy. They ran around the house, ducking behind furniture, following invisible enemies.Â
Azriel glanced at you periodically, reveling in the bright smile on your face, your eyes shining.Â
---
Jax became an important fixture in Azrielâs life, often accompanying your dates around Velaris. One day, Azriel had recruited Feyre to help get you all into a painting class for all ages.Â
You grinned as Azriel led you and Jax into the studio set up with paints and easels. There were a few other families there, setting up their work stations.Â
âAzriel, will you make a painting with me?â Jax asked, his green eyes wide as he looked up at Az.
âAre you sure you donât want to make your own?â Azriel asked.
Jaz nodded. âIâm sure,â he said, taking Azrielâs hand and leading him to the paint station to pick out colors. Jax chose color after color, handing them all to Azriel, who was grinning, trying to keep hold of all the paints.Â
You beamed, your heart full as you watched your son and Azriel together, laughing as they painted together. The easel was set up for Jax to reach it, so Az was sitting on the floor in order to reach it whenever Jax demanded that he contribute to their painting.Â
Azriel was smiling and laughing with the boy, adding in elementary looking trees and bushes wherever Jax instructed him.Â
By the end, they had a painting that looked very much like a toddler made it. It was nearly impossible to tell who had painted what: Jax or Azriel.Â
You laughed as Azriel showed it off to you with a flourish, Jax excitedly bouncing on his toes. âMom, can we hang this up at home?â
âOf course we can,â you grinned, your heart swelling at Azrielâs soft, loving smile.
Azriel came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder to look at your painting while Jaz was busy admiring his own painting.Â
âI thought you said you werenât very good,â Azriel murmured, his heart swelling as he took in the painting that you had created.
It was of that day, of Azriel and Jax painting together. Jax happily paints while Azriel sits on the floor, grinning at him, holding the palette of paint up for Jax to use.
âDo you like it?â you said quietly.Â
âI love it,â he said, nuzzling your neck. âI love you.â
He felt you stiffen beneath his fingers and froze. He had just realized that was the first time he had told you.Â
You twisted in his arms, turning to face him, your eyes shining. âI love you too, Az.â
Azrielâs knees nearly buckled with relief. He gave you a quick, sweet kiss, wishing he wasnât in public.Â
---
By Starfall, the three of you were really starting to feel like a family, and Azriel had never been happier. Cassian and Rhys teased him about it relentlessly, but he knew it was because they were happy for their brother who had finally found happiness like they had.
Azriel kept by your side, his hand on the small of your back as you navigated the crowded balcony on the House of Wind, Jax holding onto your hand.Â
The three of you had spent the beginning of the celebration with the rest of Azrielâs family, and even though they had met before, Jax remained completely enamored with Feyre, Rhysand and Cassian, asking them a million questions about being the High Lady, High Lord, and the commander of armies, respectfully. The three just laughed, going along with it until Azriel deemed it was time to give his brothers and his High Lady a break.Â
The three of you stood together, holding hands, looking to the sky as the music started and the spirits started to move across the sky, slowly at first, and then thousands of them, shooting across the world like shooting stars.Â
Jax watched awestruck for a few minutes before he noticed that there were children playing a game on the far side of the balcony, and he looked to you excitedly, running over to them after you had nodded.
âStay where we can see you!â Azriel called after him.
You turned to Azriel, hugging his waist, gazing up into his eyes lovingly.Â
âWhat?â Azriel smiled, sliding his hand down your back, making you shiver.
âIâve just never been this happy,â you murmured.
âI havenât either,â Azriel said softly, leaning down to kiss you.Â
Azriel pulled your body into his then, leading you into a slow, romantic dance underneath the falling stars.Â
âHappy Starfall,â he said, gazing down at you with all the love in the world.
âHappy Starfall, Az,â you said.
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âWhatâs wrong?â he asked.
âWhy donât you go ask your wife?â
this part had me dyinggg like yes girl!! get his ass!!!
Haha!! I had to get Elain involved in that one đ„đ€Ł
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Girl you are working fast haha but again i love it đ«¶đŒđ«¶đŒ thanks for writing my requests â€ïžđ„č
Haha, I couldn't get the ideas out of my head and I love procrastinating my responsibilities đ
You're welcome, thank you for sending them in! đ©·
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I Love You, It's Ruining My Life
Pairing: Azriel x Bestfriend! Reader
Summary: Azriel and Reader have been best friends for years, and slowly Reader starts to fall for him. He eventually feels the same way, but after Reader overhears a conversation she wasnât meant to, she has doubts about him.
Based on this request! đ©·
Warnings: angst with a happy ending, a little swearing
Work Count: 5.2k
You twisted around in front of the mirror, trying to look at the dress from every angle. âWhat do you think, Az?â
Your friend looked at you, his eyes trailing down your body, and wrinkled his nose. âNo.â
âReally?â You faced the mirror again, cocking your head. âI think itâs pretty.â
âIt cinches weirdly around your middle,â he said.
You studied yourself in the mirror again, realizing he was right. âWow. See, this is why I bring you along. Who knew your spymaster focus would be so helpful for fashion.â
He laughed, throwing his head back against the couch he was sitting on, and you couldnât help but smile. You always felt a twinge of pride whenever you could make the stoic shadowsinger laugh like that.
âSo this one, then?â You asked, gesturing to the first dress you had tried on earlier.Â
âThat is the one,â he shot you a lopsided smile. âThe poor fool wonât know what hit him.â
Later, you plopped down into the chair next to Azrielâs in the sitting room at the House, groaning.Â
Azriel arched a brow in question.Â
âYou were right,â you sighed. âHe was a fool.â
Az poured you some of the amber liquid he was drinking, handing the glass to you. âWhat kind of fool? Do I need to defend your honor?â he asked, a hard edge to his voice.
Laughing dryly, you said. âNo, nothing like that. Just a lame date. I canât believe I bought a new dress for that guy.â
He smiled sadly at you. âHey, the right guy will go crazy for that dress.â
You winced, taking a sip of the drink. âI guess,â you grumbled.
âCome here,â he said, opening his arms. âYou know I wonât let you be all grumbly by yourself.âÂ
Smiling faintly, you rose from your seat and settled in his lap, resting your head on his shoulder, his arms wrapping comfortingly around you.Â
âWhenâs it gonna happen for us, Az? When do we get to find what Rhys and Feyre have?â You asked, quietly.Â
He sighed, leaning his cheek into the top of your head. âI donât know. But at least you and I are alone together.âÂ
You laughed, and he tightened his arms around you slightly, clearly pleased. You felt your sad heart mending slightly as your best friend in the world held you long into the night.
---
A few days later, you sighed, pushing your food around your plate at lunch in Velaris with Azriel.
Azriel watched you, those hazel eyes calculating. âYouâre not still moping about that date, are you?â
âIâm not moping,â you scolded him. âAnd no, of course itâs not about the date. He is not worthy of my sighs.â
The side of his mouth curved into a smile. âSo, what is it then?â
Shrugging noncommittally, you said, âHonestly, I donât know. I just feelâŠbummed.â
That smile of his dropped, his mouth thinning into a line. âAre you done eating?â
You blinked, confused. âYeah, I think so.â
He tossed money onto the table, nodding his head to the side, indicating it was time to go. âCome on.â
âWhere are we going?â You asked, rising to follow him.
âYouâll see,â he said, slinging his arm around your shoulders as you walked.Â
It took several minutes before you knew what he was planning and you grinned up at him as you realized where he was leading you.Â
He smiled, kissing the top of your head as you neared your favorite ice cream shop.Â
Your heart swelled as Azriel ordered your favorite ice cream. You should have known. Your parents had always taken you here when you needed a pick-me-up, and Azriel had continued the tradition, knowing it always made you feel better, at least for a little bit.
Gazing up at the man who knew you so very well, your heart began to crack.
---
Azriel wrapped an arm around your shoulder as you settled on the couch beside him, tucking you against his side as his whole family roamed around the River House.Â
It had been Feyreâs idea to get everyone together for an evening, just to spend time in each otherâs company.Â
âHow are you?â he said, eyes boring into yours. He had been extra watchful of you lately, since your mood had dimmed weeks ago. He couldnât understand why this dark cloud had been following you around lately. It broke his heart that he couldnât fix it.
âGood,â you murmured, smiling faintly at him.Â
His brow furrowed, but before he could question you further, Cassian plopped down on the other side of you, grinning.
Cassian pulled your attention then, telling an animated story about how training had been going in the Illyrian mountains.Â
Azriel wasnât really listening, still studying you. You laughed at something that Cassian had said, the sound bright, bouncing off the walls, your smile lighting up your face. The tightness in Azrielâs chest eased a bit.
Feyre and Elain beckoned you into the kitchen then, and you followed, leaving Azriel and Cassian alone in the sitting room for the moment.Â
Cassian nodded after you, shooting Azriel a knowing look. âWhatâs the deal with her?â
âI donât know,â Azriel said, sighing. âSheâs been⊠off lately.â
Cassian looked contemplative. âHave you ever thought about⊠you knowâŠâ he raised his eyebrows suggestively.
âWhat, being with her? Romantically?â Azriel furrowed his brow.
âYeah. I mean, you guys are cuddly enough.â
âNot like that, though,â Azriel said. âNo, itâs never been like that between us.â
Cassian shrugged. âOkay. But, you never thought that you might be missing out?â
Azriel thought about it for a moment, what it would be like. âI donât know. Iâve never thought about her like that.â
âMaybe you should.â
Before Azriel could respond, Nesta stalked into the room, taking Cassianâs attention completely.Â
---
It had been months since you had come home from that terrible date, since Azriel had held you that night, since your mind and your heart began to wonder.
Azriel had always been your friend. Though he was beautiful and amazing, you had never before thought about being anything other than his friend. Nothing between you had really changed at all in the last few months, and yetâŠÂ
It was Azrielâs face in your mind as you fell asleep. It was Azrielâs touches that you dreamed of, over and over again. It was Azriel, who knew you so well, who was always, always there for you, that occupied your mind day in and day out.
You knew he had sensed a shift in you. But you didnât think he understood what that shift was. That you had, without even really realizing it, fallen in love with him.Â
Cauldron, you were doomed.Â
âWhere did you just go?â Feyre said, bringing you out of your thoughts.
âNowhere,â you lied.
She narrowed her eyes at you, bouncing Nyx in her lap.Â
âOkay, I actually really need to talk to somebody about this. But if I tell you, you canât tell anybody, not even Rhys.â
Her eyes widened in surprise, but she nodded in agreement.Â
âI kinda have feelings for Azriel.â
Feyre bit her lip, trying to hide her surprise. âSince when?â
You shrugged. âIt happened slowly. Little things started sticking out to me all of a sudden and now⊠Now I canât stop thinking about him. And I donât know what to do.â
âYou could tell him how you feel,â Feyre offered, smiling softly.
You groaned. âBut I donât think he sees me that way. If I tell him, it could ruin our whole friendship.â
Feyre tilted her head, contemplating. âYou think so? Even if he doesnât feel the same way, heâs Az. I canât imagine that he would ever abandon someone he loves for any reason.â
âI guess,â you said distantly. âBut it would make things really awkward, at the very least.â
Feyre smiled. âOr, it could turn into something amazing.â
You scoffed. âWith our luck in love? Unlikely.â
âMaybe nothing has worked out for you two so far because youâre supposed to be together.â
Your heart swelled at the thought, but you stomped down the hope. âMaybe,â you said, your mind wandering again. âMaybe.â
---
Your blood rushed in your ears, your body tense as you and Azriel sat together in the sitting room of the House the next evening. It physically hurt to be near him these days. Your body ached to be close to his.
âWhatâs up with you?â Azriel asked.
âNothing, I justâŠâ you trailed off, looking across the room at him, willing yourself to tell the truth. âI love you, Az.â
He smiled. âI love you, too.â
He didnât get it. He didnât bat an eye at you, at his friend he had loved platonically for so long. Your heart sank.Â
It hurt to look at him now. You knew it couldn't be the same between you, not now that you had foolishly fallen for him.Â
You took a sip of your drink, wishing it was stronger, and forced yourself through easy conversation with your best friend.Â
---
âWhatâs wrong?â you asked him immediately upon seeing him weeks later, and Azriel couldnât help but smile. You had always been able to sense the shift in his mood, even if things had felt⊠different between the two of you lately.
He sighed. âWeâre unlucky in love, you and I.â
You stiffened, and he wondered if he had said something wrong, but continued. âYou know, the whole Mor, ElainâŠthing. Iâve just been thinking about what you said that night ages ago. I just wonder when itâll happen for us.â
Azrielâs eyes flicked to you, and you gulped, tense in a way heâd never seen when it was just the two of you. âWhat is it?â he asked.
âNothing,â you said, too quickly. âIâm sorry. That youâre feeling unlucky in love.â
He lifted a brow. âAre you okay?â
You nodded then stood up quickly, walking toward the door. Azriel stood, wrapping his fingers around your wrist, pulling gently so you would turn back to face him. âHey. Talk to me,â he said softly.
Your eyes swam with emotion, and you seemed to be pondering what to say. âI canât talk to you about this,â you said quietly, your voice breaking.
âWhat do you mean?â Azriel tried to push down the hurt he felt. âWe talk about everything.â
âNot this, Az,â you said sadly, before gently pulling your hand out of his grasp and disappearing down the hallway.
What the hell.Â
Azriel spent nearly an hour contemplating what had just happened. Were you upset with him? Or were you just keeping something from him? If you were, why?
He ran over the last several weeks in his mind, all of his interactions with you. You had definitely been acting differently around him, sitting further away from him, not spending as much time with him one-on-one, but he assumed you would talk to him when you were ready. Evidently, you still were not ready. But, what could it possibly be that you couldnât talk to him about it?
It was your relationships, well your lack of relationship with Mor and Elain that seemed to set this off.Â
And then he remembered what Cassian had said weeks ago, that maybe he should consider you as a romantic partner. His brother was always smarter than most people gave him credit for. Did Cassian know something? Was he trying to tell Azriel?
His head spun. Did you have feelings for him?
It would actually explain a lot of your behavior for the past few weeks, especially if you thought that he didnât feel the same way.Â
Did he feel the same way?
He sat back in his chair. Why hadnât he ever considered you before? You were beautiful, of course, and one of the very best people he had ever known. And you were his best friend, who knew him better than he knew himself, in many ways. Who he could talk to about anything. Who already loved him so much.Â
Maybe he should be with you.Â
He did love you, of course. So⊠maybe the two of you should give it a shot.
Before he could think it through, he went to your room, knocking gently. He had to know if he was right.
You answered the door in a thin night dress, your hair cascading down your shoulders. Gods, you were beautiful. What an idiot he'd been.
âAz?â You asked.
Before he could talk himself out of it, he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling your body into his. He gauged your reaction, waiting for you to tense, but you didn't. You melted into him, placing your hand on his chest and gazing up at him with big, beautiful eyes.
Slowly, so slowly, he leaned down, and you tilted your face up to meet him, longing written all over your face. His heart rate spiked as his lips finally met yours.
The kiss was slow, sweet, exploratory. A new dance between old friends.Â
You moaned slightly, twining your fingers into his hair, pulling him closer to you.
He growled, pushing you back further into your bedroom, kicking the door shut with his foot.
You had a long night ahead of you.
---
It had been about a week since you and Azriel had stepped into a new form of your relationship.
It was funny, actually. Not that much had actually changed, except you were more comfortable around him now, like you had been before the last few weeks had complicated things. The two of you spent so much time together one on one before, the only difference now was all the kissing and the bedroom activities. And how many times you would tell him that you loved him, your eyes shining with that love.
He was starting to feel like he hadn't thought it all the way through. He loved you. Of course he did. But, he was worried that your love for him was deeper. And he couldn't bear the thought of hurting you.
âWhere'd your mind go, Az?â Cassian asked, and Rhysand chuckled.
âHe's thinking about his new girlfriend,â Rhys grinned.
Azrielâs jaw tightened. âI'm worried,â he admitted.
âAbout?â Cassian asked, leaning forward, his full attention on Azriel.
âI think her feelings are deeper than mine. I'm starting to worry that I may haveâŠâ he trailed off, not wanting to admit it.
âSettled?â Rhys offered.
Azriel winced, but nodded. âMaybe.â
âWhat, you don't love her?â Cassian asked.
âI do. Of course I love her.â
âWell, there you go,â Cassian said, waving a hand dismissively. âI think you're overthinking this.â
âMaybe just give it time,â Rhysand said contemplatively. âYou know how she is. She feels things very deeply. You might catch up to her faster than you think.â
âMaybe. I hope so,â Azriel said, his mind wandering away again, back to you. Back to the love that shone in your eyes when you looked at him.
He would have to be careful. He would not break your heart. He wouldn't be able to live with himself.
---
Years later, snuggled up to Azriel, watching children screaming and running around the River House the night before Winter Solstice, you couldnât imagine being happier.Â
Azriel and you had been talking about trying for children soon. Your heart swelled as you watched Cassianâs and Rhysandâs children grow up together, picturing your own children growing up in all this love, with cousins and aunts and uncles who would love them so much.
You smiled and Azriel kissed your temple. âI know exactly what youâre thinking,â he murmured into your skin.Â
âYou do not,â you smiled.
âI do,â he said, ducking his head to whisper in your ear. âYou wanna try for a baby tonight?â His breath tickled your ear, his voice dipping suggestively.Â
You laughed, playfully shoving him away, and he grinned. âTonight? The one night a year we sleep under the same roof as our entire family? Absolutely not.âÂ
He pulled you into his lap, kissing you sweetly. âTomorrow then?â he whispered.Â
You rolled your eyes, but your heart swelled with love. âWeâll see,â you teased.Â
Elain called you into the kitchen then, and you went to join her, shooting a wink at Az over your shoulder as you went. He grinned.
Your family was scattered all over the house, leaving Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel alone in the living room next to the kitchen with some of the children.
You could hear them laughing together as you helped Elain prep some of the food for the following morning.Â
Your ears perked up when you heard your name and Elain shot you a curious look, clearly eavesdropping along with you.
âRemember when you two first got together?â Rhysand asked, likely to Azriel.
âYes,â Az chuckled softly. âWeâve come a long way since then.â
âI canât believe you were ever unsure about her,â Cassian said. âThat you were worried you had settled.â
Shock jolted through your entire body, your blood pounding in your ears. You nearly dropped the plate that you were holding.
âI was a fool,â Azriel said, and you could picture him shaking his head slightly. âI canât imagine life without her. I canât believe I lasted so long just being her friend.â
âSheâs got you wrapped around her little finger,â Rhysand teased.Â
âOh, like youâre not the same with Feyre,â Azriel shot back, and all three brothers erupted into laughter.Â
You looked at Elain finally, her expression solemn, like she could see right through to your soul, how broken you felt.Â
Without a word, you left the kitchen, going up to the guest room that you and Azriel occupied when you stayed with Feyre and Rhysand.Â
Azriel had settled for you. He was sad that night that he first kissed you, sad about not getting a shot with Mor or Elain, so he had gone to the one person he knew would never deny him.Â
All this time, all these years, he had just been settling with you because he didnât want to be alone. You felt sick.
You had fallen in love with him, and to him you were just there. Ready for the taking. Thatâs why he chose you.Â
Your stomach lurched, and you scrambled to the bathroom, spilling your guts, hot tears streaming down your face, sobs shaking your whole body.
---
Azriel frowned sometime later, wondering why you hadnât come back yet. He wandered away from his brothers, finding Elain alone in the kitchen. She frowned at him as he entered, looking angrier than he had ever seen her.Â
âWhatâs wrong?â he asked.
âWhy donât you go ask your wife?â
He furrowed his brow. âWhat do you mean? Where is she?â
âShe went upstairs a while ago,â Elain said curtly, turning back to her pastries.Â
Azrielâs heart pounded. What had happened to make Elain angry at him? Why had you gone upstairs without saying goodnight to anyone?Â
He rushed up to the room, confused when he didnât see you anywhere, until he heard you sniffling in the washroom. His heart lurched, panic setting in as he swung the door open, finding you lying on the floor, hugging your legs to your chest, facing away from him.Â
He whispered your name, his anxiety increasing. When you didnât answer, he sat down next to you, rubbing your back soothingly, gently setting your head into his lap. He saw your tear stained cheeks, your red eyes, and the breath was sucked right out of his lungs.
âWhat happened, love? What is it?â he asked, trying to sound calm.
You refused to look at him, staring ahead blankly.Â
He had never seen you like this. âHoney, youâre scaring me, please tell me whatâs wrong,â he said, his voice breaking.Â
Finally, you sat up and walked back into the bedroom, still not looking at him. As you did, you mumbled, âyou settled.â
âWhat?â he asked, following you into the bedroom.Â
You slid under the covers, facing away from him. âYou settled with me. You didnât want to be alone, so you kissed me that night. And you settled with me.â
âI didnât,â he said, quietly. âI did not settle. I love you. So much.â
You buried yourself further into the covers, hiding yourself from him. His heart ached. âAll this time,â you whispered. âAll this time. You must have been just waiting for Mor or Elain to change their minds, huh?â
âNo,â he said, his voice coming out quiet and crackly. He rounded the bed, willing you to look at him. He settled on his knees, looking into your eyes, cupping your cheek with a scarred hand. âNo. It was never like that. It was never about them. I love you, I always have,â he said, willing you to believe him, to feel that he meant it.Â
A tear slid down your cheek. His heart broke further as he wiped it away gently with his thumb. âThatâs not what Cassian said,â you whispered.
Azriel sighed, his eyes pleading. âI was worried. When we first started dating, I was worried that your feelings were deeper than mine. You always feel things so deeply, my love, and thatâs one of the things that I love the most about you. I was scared that I wasnât at the same level that you were, and you would get hurt because of it.â
âLooks like I have,â you whispered.Â
âBut itâs not like that now, it hasnât been like that for years. Iâve known for so long that you are the only person in the world that I could ever want. Please,â Azriel whispered. âPlease believe that I am so in love with you. It was one stupid conversation ages ago, and Iâm so sorry that I hurt you, but you have to believe me. You are the love of my life.â
âI donât know how to believe you right now,â you said quietly, your voice breaking.Â
Azrielâs heart broke completely. Your face was completely blank in a way he had never seen before. âWhat can I do?âÂ
âI donât know, Az. I need -- I need space.â
He gulped, but nodded, rising to his feet slowly âOkay. Iâll be downstairs, if you need me.â
You didnât respond. He willed his legs to move, to leave you behind, broken, in the bed you were supposed to share.
Cassian and Rhys were the only people left downstairs by the time he made it back down, drinking and laughing together.Â
One look at their brotherâs face, and they went silent.
âI fucked up,â Azriel said, taking the glass from Cassianâs hand and shooting the amber liquid back in one gulp.
Cassian handed Azriel the whole bottle, who would have laughed, if he hadnât ripped his own heart to shreds that night.
He took a swig before saying quietly, âshe heard our conversation. She thinks I settled with her.â
âShit,â Cassian said, his face falling.Â
âWhat did you tell her?â Rhys asked, his expression solemn too.
âThe truth. I was worried that in the beginning that she loved me more than I loved her, but now⊠Gods, Iâm so in love with her. But she said she canât trust me anymore,â he said, a tear running down his cheek before he quickly wiped it away.
His brothers were silent for a moment, thinking.Â
After a moment, Cassian said, âYeah, I donât know how you fix this, Az.â
Azriel laughed humorlessly, taking another sip from the bottle. âThanks.â
âShe might just need some time,â Rhysand said.Â
âYou didnât see her,â Azriel said, his voice breaking again. âShe wasâŠâ he trailed off and shook his head. âIâve never seen her like that. Sheâs wrecked. Because of me.âÂ
His brothers stayed up with him for a long time, trying to console him, but he eventually sent them away to their happy mates who still loved them.Â
He laid on the couch, his wings drooping on the floor, his heart hurting. He hadnât spent a night away from you since you had gotten together unless he was on a mission. This felt fundamentally wrong.
Eventually, he got up, wandering through the quiet house. He made his way into the study, digging out some paper. He had to fix this. He needed you to understand.Â
---
Youâd barely slept at all, and winced when the sun started lightly filtering into the room that shouldnât be so empty.Â
You didnât know how to feel, what to think. You knew Azriel loved you. But was it enough? Was it the same, all-consuming love that you felt for him?Â
How could you ever be sure?
After just one night, you missed the heat of his body against yours, hated rolling over to see the other side of the bed empty.Â
Cauldron, you had been talking about children less than 12 hours ago, and nowâŠ
You shoved the thought away, your eyes still burning from crying all night. You refused to start up again.Â
What a Winter Solstice this would turn out to be. Maybe you should just go home.
Alone, in the apartment that you had turned into a home with Azriel. Your bottom lip trembled, and you bit it, hard. You were strong, you would survive this.Â
Whatever this ended up being.
Your mind was still spinning and you hadnât yet gotten out of bed when there was a tentative knock on your door.Â
âWhat?â you said, quietly, your voice not sounding like your own.
Azriel opened the door slowly, studying you as he lingered in the doorway. He looked awful, bags under his eyes, his clothes rumpled, his hair a mess, like he had run his hand through it over and over again.Â
âHey,â he said quietly.Â
âHi,â you replied timidly.
His face fell and you knew why. You had never sounded like that, not with him.Â
He took a cautious step into the room, watching you closely. âI made something. For when you're ready,â he said, placing a stack of papers on the bedside table.Â
You remained silent, not sure what to say. He swallowed, and turned to leave, but he stopped in the doorway, turning back to you. âI do love you. So much.â
His expression was pained, and you could tell he wanted to say more, but he just looked at you sadly before disappearing behind the door he closed behind him.Â
It wasnât until after you took a long bath that you had the courage to look at the papers he had left for you. You sat on the bed, pulling them into your lap, surprised at how many pages there were.Â
On the top, in Azrielâs handwriting it said, âTo My Dearest Love.â
Despite everything, you couldnât stop the swell in your chest, the love that you felt for him.Â
You were shocked as you read through page after page. He had written your story, the story of your love from his perspective, every date you had gone on, every Winter Solstice, every milestone. He detailed his thoughts as he went through each of those moments, all the things he loved about you, when he noticed new little things about you, even after being friends for so long.Â
Tears were streaming down your face by the time you got to the end, where it read:Â
You, my love, are everything. Everything. If youâll let me, Iâll spend the rest of our lives proving it to you.Â
Iâm sorry that I was a fool. Iâll always be sorry that I hurt you.Â
Whatever you decide, whatever you want going forward, I just hope that youâll know how deeply I love you.Â
---
Azriel had gone to the annual snowball fight with his brothers, only for a distraction. But his heart wasnât in it, and after about ten minutes, his brothers had deemed his snowball game so pathetic that they called it off and all went inside to the cabin to drink.Â
He knew he was being tragic company, so Azriel went back to the River House on his own, prepared to find a quiet corner to sulk in by himself. He hoped you had read what he stayed up all night writing, at least. Even if it didnât change anythingâŠÂ
He didnât let himself dwell on what could happen. He didnât know what he would do if you left him.Â
He nearly fell over when he noticed that you were sitting in the living room that he had used his shadows to winnow into.Â
You looked surprised too, but not unhappy. Relief flooded through him.Â
âHi,â you said, quietly.Â
âHi,â he said, his voice raspy.Â
You stood up, walking toward him slowly, stopping a few steps from him. He longed to hold you, to make it all better, but he stayed where he was.
âI read it,â you whispered.Â
He could only nod, his heart in his throat.Â
Tears welled up in your eyes, and his heart shattered, terror flooding through him before you closed the distance between you, wrapping your arms around him, burying your face in his chest.Â
He hugged you back instantly, holding you to him with crushing force.Â
âI donât want to be mad at you anymore,â you said into his chest. âI love you.â
Azriel felt like he was going to fall over, the only thing that was keeping him standing was you. âI love you,â he said, letting the tears fall freely down his cheeks, resting his chin on the top of your head. âI love you, Iâm so sorry.â
You shook your head. âYou donât have to be sorry. I get it now. What you wrote -- it helped me understand. And it was beautiful.â
âIâm still sorry I hurt you,â he said, his voice cracking.
You stood on your tiptoes to kiss him gently. âItâs okay, Az. Iâm okay.â
Azriel took your face in his hands gently, kissing you like his life depended on it. He felt like it did.Â
You let him kiss you for ages, until the two of you realized that you were no longer alone. Azriel looked up to see that his brothers and winnowed in and were now staring at the two of you.Â
âOh, thank the Mother,â Cassian said, bracing his hands on his knees dramatically before coming up and hugging you, lifting you into the air, while Rhys laughed behind him. âYou guys really had me worried.â
âI take it you worked it all out?â Rhysand asked, kissing your cheek after Cassian set you back on the ground.Â
âYeah, weâre okay now,â you said, laughing at them.
Rhysand and Cassian did look extremely relieved, which made Azrielâs heart swell. He would always be thankful for his brothers.Â
---
After a surprisingly successful Winter Solstice, you and Azriel made your way back home, now cuddling together in your bed, holding each other tightly.Â
Azriel kissed the top of your head. âIâll always be so thankful for you. I donât know how I got so lucky.â
You snuggled closer into him. âWeâre both lucky.â
Azriel laughed. âSpeaking of getting lucky⊠you want to try for that baby now?â
You gawked at him, incredulously. âWhat, too soon?â he asked, smirking.
âMales are ridiculous,â you scolded him.Â
After a beat, Azriel risked it. âI didnât hear a noâŠâ
You laughed, pulling him into a kiss. âYouâre so stupid.â
Azriel grinned. âOh, I know.â
@thalia-as-blog @saltedcoffeescotch @batboyrhyrhy @1-s1mp-t00-much
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Soo i had another request đđđ«Ł
Reader and az new each other for a long time but always have been friends, no feelings from neither of them. But then reader started to fall slowly for him and after the whole fiasco with mor and elain, azriel thought why not just date a good friend. He loved reader but not as much as reader did at that time. So he, cass and rhys talked about that and azriel said something about it feeling more like he just settled. A couple of years later cass has daughters and rhys has more children, they talked about that night again but now azriel is head over heels in love with her and canât imagine a live without her. But reader listens to the conversation and thinks that azriel just stayed because he didnât wanted to be single and doesnât trust him anymore.
So angst but with a happy end. đż
oooof, the ANGST.
I'm on it đ«Ą
âš UPDATE: Here it is, in all its angsty glory! âš I hope you like it! đ©·
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Thank yooooou! đ„°
In the Middle of the Night, In My Dreams
Pairing: Rhysand x Reader
Summary: Reader has nightmares when Rhys is away, but even when heâs not there, he knows how to calm them down.
Word Count: ~800
Your nightmares almost always ceased when Rhysand was with you. His presence had the ability to calm and soothe you, even when neither of you were conscious.Â
This was great when he was home, but it made the times when he went on missions without you even more difficult. You would often wake screaming when he was gone, then would desperately wish that your mate could be there to calm you down enough for you to fall back to sleep.
Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel had business to attend to. They had offered for you to tag along, but you had your own business to attend to in Velaris, so you had hesitantly declined, knowing that you wouldnât be sleeping well, partly because of your own inner demons, and partly because you always hated it when they walked into danger. You knew Rhysand was the most powerful High Lord in all of history, and his ridiculously powerful friends would do anything for him, but still. He was your mate. If anything happened to him⊠You tried not to think about it.Â
While you hesitantly declined to go with them, Rhysand hesitantly agreed. You tried to hide how much them being gone affected you, so he wouldnât worry, but your mating bond made that difficult. He knew very well the condition that you were in when he would leave, and felt your terror throughout the night. He would often try to calm you down through the bond, but he knew it wasnât the same as being there.Â
He always asked whoever else stayed behind to keep an extra close eye on you to make sure you were eating enough, and taking naps throughout the day. He also knew that you were perfectly capable of making your own decisions, so if you said you wanted to stay, thatâs what you would do. Even if he wasnât happy about it. Though he did acknowledge that you would ultimately be safer at home than you would be traveling with him and his inner circle, so that at least, was a relief.
Your High Lord and your friends had been gone for about a week, and they werenât sure when they would be able to return. Tonight, your own terrified screams woke you, just like every night since they left. You were trembling, eyes still closed, clutching the sheets and trying to focus on your breathing, trying to sort through what was real and wasnât.Â
You unconsciously waited for Rhysâs words to show up in your mind as they often did while he was away and you accidentally woke him up through your bond. Youâre alright, darling, heâd say. Listen to my voice; pull yourself out of it. Youâre home, youâre safe. Iâll be home as soon as I can. I love you.
Suddenly, arms wrapped around your middle from behind, and you shrieked before you recognized who it was.Â
âIâm here darling, itâs alright,â Rhys murmured in your ear, gently burying his face into the crook of your neck.
Your body relaxed instantly and you leaned back into his touch, silent tears rolling down your cheeks.
You turned around to face him and he pulled you in close so that your bodies were flush together. He gazed down at you and gently wiped your tears with his thumb, his eyes full of anguish at the site of them. âPlease donât cry, sweet one, youâre okay.â
âYouâre home,â you whispered.
A wisp of a smile appeared, his thumb still absentmindedly stroking your cheek. âIâm home. Iâm sorry I was gone so long.â
Your eyes raked his body, searching for any signs of injury. âIâm okay, my love,â he said knowingly. âNot a scratch on me.â
Sighing with relief, you wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him softly. âAnd Cassian? Azriel?â
âPerfectly fine,â he murmured, before leaning in to kiss you again.Â
Finally, you could feel yourself relax completely, and Rhys felt it too. âYou know I hate leaving you,â he whispered, gently kissing a line down your neck. âI hate that you donât sleep while Iâm gone.â
âI know. Iâm sorry I worry you,â you said sadly, twining your fingers into his hair.Â
âNo, donât apologize, darling,â he said, his face rising to meet your gaze, his fingers flexing against your skin like he was trying to emphasize the point. âI just mean⊠I hope you know that Iâll always do my best to be here for you. No matter what. Even if Iâm not physically here.âÂ
You kissed him, cupping his cheek with your palm. âI do know. Of course I know.â
âI love you,â he murmured before kissing your forehead.
âI love you, too.â
He smirked, lying down fully. âLetâs let you get some rest, yeah?â
âFinally,â you sighed, snuggling into him and drifting off into a peaceful sleep.
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Here it is!
I hope you like it đ©·
Soo for a request i would just wish for fluff.
Maybe where az meets reader at a market and canât forget about her, so the next time he sees her he asks her out. The first date went well but after that reader is always late or even has to postpone the date. So az goes to her home to talk to her and tells her that she doesnât have to go out with him if she doesnt want to but before reader can say anything a small boy who is maybe 2 -3 years old runs out and hugs azriels legs and looks up at him with the biggest green eyes. Thats when azriel realised that reader is a single mom. After that they have their dates with her son. Maybe even their first starfall together. đđ«¶đŒ
OH MY GOD I'M OBSESSED WITH THIS.
*cracks knuckles* I'll be back in a few days đ©·
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You Drew Stars Around My Scars
Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Summary: Azriel and Reader meet one day and the connection is instantaneous. Azriel becomes worried though, when Reader starts showing up late to their dates more consistently. When the truth comes out, they need to figure out how to keep moving forward.
Based on this request! Thank you for sending it in, I hope you like it! đ©·
Word Count: 3.8k
The market was bustling today and Azriel cringed slightly, pulling his wings in even tighter behind him. He had no idea why Amren had insisted that he be the one to pick up the items she needed for her new project. Perhaps because she knew that he would be the least likely to complain.Â
He was approaching the stall that carried what Amren needed when his gaze snagged on someone at a neighboring one and he stopped dead in his tracks, causing the people around him to curse and move around him, irritated.
Azriel barely heard it though, his attention fully on you. You had a simple dress on, but it accentuated your curves beautifully, your hair was loose, falling down your back in ringlets. The way you moved was graceful as you picked up an item to inspect.Â
But your smile as you talked to the owner of the stall, the way it lit up your face with such kindness⊠that is what made Azrielâs knees feel like they were about to give out.
He longed to approach you, but by the time that he had come to his senses enough to start moving, you too had moved, working your way through the market. It was so crowded that he lost track of you.Â
Crestfallen, he went back to the stall and got the supplies for Amren.Â
---
Days later, Azriel still could not get you out of his mind. That damn smile haunted his dreams and his every waking moment.Â
So much so, that at the earliest opportunity, he went back to the market, his eyes raking the crowd for any sign of you. He seriously contemplated flying up to a rooftop for a better angle, but that would probably be frowned upon.Â
He perused the market, feeling a bit foolish. The Night Courtâs spymaster, reduced to wandering around the market on his day off like a lost puppy in hopes of finding a woman he didnât even know.
His spirits lifted dramatically though, when he saw you. You were perusing a stall, inspecting a jar with a shiny liquid inside.Â
Azriel didnât let himself hesitate this time, dodging people milling about as he strode for you. Eventually, he appeared at your side, and you looked up at him, so surprised to suddenly see a large, looming male next to you, that you dropped the jar that you were holding.
Smoothly, he caught it before it hit the ground and offered it to you. Your eyes sparked with recognition as you studied him: the wings, the Illyrian clothing, the shadows twirling around his biceps.Â
Your fingers brushed his as you took the jar back from him and you murmured, âThank you.â
He nodded, offering you a faint smile, not sure what to say. He hadnât thought this far ahead.
âYouâre the High Lordâs shadowsinger,â you said, looking up at him, sounding a little breathless.
âI am. But most people just call me Azriel,â he said, a note of humor edging his voice.
That smile you had offered the others before was now turned on him, and he felt as if the ground was swaying underneath him. You offered him your name, before saying, âI feel a bit like Iâm meeting a celebrity.â
Azriel could feel slight heat in his cheeks, and tried to maintain the neutral expression he nearly always wore. He waved his hand dismissively, âTrust me, Iâm not. Cassian is more of the celebrity. I mostly blend into the shadows.â
You tilted your head, looking up at him from beneath your lashes, studying the hard line of his jaw, his hazel eyes, the curve of his mouth. âThatâs a shame,â you said, a little wistfully.
Azrielâs heart was thundering now. âDo you want to get dinner?âÂ
Your smile widened. âI think I can make that happen. Tomorrow?â
âTomorrow,â he agreed.Â
You picked the restaurant and the time, and just like that, Azriel had a date.
---
The date was, in his opinion, nothing short of amazing.Â
He had arrived a bit early to dinner, and you waltzed up to the restaurant exactly on time, looking like a vision. Part of your hair was braided around your head like a crown, but part was still flowing down over your shoulders, curled. Your dress hugged the curve of your waist, the hem landing midway down your shin, perfect for the summer.Â
You beamed as you approached him, and Azriel had to concentrate to keep his breathing steady. The two of you were seated outside, watching the sun set over the river.Â
The conversation was easy. You kept it light and playful, grazing your hand against his bicep every once in a while when you laughed, the sound bright and beautiful.
Flirting, he realized. You were flirting with him. Laughing with him. Making him laugh.
Mother, when was the last time he had felt like this?
Had he ever felt like this?
After dinner ended, you stood up and gently took his hand in yours, tugging lightly so he stood up too, towering over you. âDo you want to take a walk?â you asked, your eyes sparkling under the stars that were out by then.Â
âLead the way,â he said, one side of his mouth turning up into a smile.
You led him to the artistsâ quarter, the lights vibrant against the night. He watched as your eyes lit up at the site, marveling at all the artwork, the people milling about.Â
âOh, look!â you exclaimed, excitedly pulling him to a painting of the mountains surrounding Velaris. âItâs beautiful,â you told the painter, who nodded in thanks, smiling.
Azriel couldnât help but stare as you took in the painting, your eyes alight.Â
âAre you a painter?â he asked.
âI try to be,â you grinned at him. âIâm not very good.â
Before he could respond, another painting caught your eye and you gasped, tugging on his hand, leading him through the crowd. Azriel laughed, and you turned back to smile at him, your whole face lighting up. His heart swelled.
On and on you went, his lifeboat pulling him through the sea of artists. He could have gone on like that forever, he thought.Â
You were about to pull him to another painting when you suddenly turned to him, flushed. âIâm sorry,â you said. âIâve gotten carried away, havenât I?â
Azriel shook his head, smiling. âNot at all.â
You smiled, seeming shy all of a sudden. âItâs late,â you said. âI should probably head back.âÂ
âCan I walk you home?â
Your smile grew and you nodded your head for him to follow. Your arms brushed as you walked, taking in the night air.Â
It was a short walk to your house, and you stopped before the door and smiled up at him. âThank you, Azriel. Tonight was⊠amazing.â
Azriel couldnât help but smile back at you. âIt was.â
You stood on your tiptoes and kissed his cheek lightly before turning to the door, and Azriel said your name, stopping you before you could open it. âCan I see you again?â
You beamed. âMeet me by the Rainbow in two days?â
Smirking, Azriel said, âAbsolutely.â
---
Azriel could hardly focus on anything else while he waited to see you again. His friends absolutely knew something was up with him, but did not pester him about it. Yet.Â
Two days after the initial date, Azriel was waiting in the Rainbow, where you had told him you wanted to meet.Â
He waited. And waited.
Trying to stomp down his growing anxiety that you wouldnât show, he gazed at the art around him. You had been right on time to your first date. Had you changed your mind about him?
He was about to walk through the artistsâ quarter, wondering if he had not remembered correctly where you wanted to meet, when you finally arrived, your cheeks flushed, but you looked beautiful as ever.Â
âIâm so sorry,â you said, a little breathless. âSomething came up -- itâs hard to explain. I swear I tried to be on time.âÂ
Azriel was just glad that you had come. âItâs alright,â he smiled reassuringly.Â
Your eyes twinkled under the stars, relieved. âThank you.â
His smile widened and he lightly squeezed your upper arm, trying to soothe you.Â
You smiled slowly and arched an eyebrow, mischief written all over your face. âSo, I had an idea.â
âIâd love to hear it.â
Laughing, you said, âLetâs go dancing.â
Azrielâs smile dropped. You laughed even more. âDancing,â he repeated.Â
âDancing,â you grinned.
âI canât dance.âÂ
âOh, please. Everyone can dance.âÂ
âNot me,â Azriel said, smiling despite himself.
âPlease,â she murmured, taking a step closer to him and looking up at him from under her lashes. âFor me?â
Azriel sighed, raking a hand through his hair. You knew you already had him wrapped around his little finger. âFine.â
You squealed with delight, taking his hand in yours and walking in the direction of the Velaris night clubs. Azriel tried to focus on the positives: your soft hand in his, how happy you were, how your hair bounced as you walked.
By the time you got to the nightclub, Azrielâs felt like his heart was in his throat. He really did not dance.
But you strode right in, glancing back at him with the biggest smile on your face. You led him right into the middle of the crowd of people pulsing with the music.Â
He stood still and watched as you moved your hips, your arms up above your head, twirling around like you didnât have a care in the world. I could easily fall in love with this woman, he thought. Easily.
You turned back to him and laughed brightly, placing your hands on his hips, trying to make them move. He didnât budge, which made you laugh even more. âCome on, shadowsinger. Live a little!â
He wanted to, if only to make you happy, but he couldnât focus on anything but your hands on him and that smile that knocked the breath out of his lungs.
Studying him for a moment, you said over the music, âOkay, I see we need to try a different tactic,â you said, taking his hand in yours and leading him to the edge of the dance floor, where it was less crowded.Â
You stepped right up to him then, so your bodies were barely an inch away. You took both of his hands and settled them on your hips, then placed your hands on his shoulders.Â
âDonât think so much, just move,â you said, your voice light and teasing.Â
He towered over you, watching as you moved your hips, lightly pushing and pulling on his shoulders so he would move with you. It took nearly a full song, but eventually his body relaxed, letting himself be guided by you.
âThere you go,â you grinned.Â
Suddenly, the song slowed significantly, and you looked up at him, becoming slightly shy again.Â
He gazed down at you, smiling faintly as he pulled you in closer to him, keeping one hand at your waist and taking one of your hands in his.Â
Azriel swore he saw your breath catch as you studied his face, eyes slightly wide. Azriel tightened his grip on you slightly when your eyes dipped to his mouth and lingered there.Â
Holding his breath, he leaned in slowly, stopping a breath away from your lips, giving you a moment to back up if you wanted to. But, you surged forward, connecting your mouth with his.Â
He smiled into the kiss, bringing a scarred hand up to gently cup your cheek.Â
You wrapped your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss, and as the music swelled to a crescendo, he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist, lifting you off the ground. You gasped into his mouth, bending your knees as he held you in the air.Â
Gently, he set you down a few moments later, and when he pulled back, you were smiling, your cheeks dusted red.Â
âThat might have been the most romantic thing thatâs ever happened to me,â you said, your tone teasing, but your eyes alight.Â
âMe too,â Azriel murmured, unable to tear his gaze away from your beautiful face.Â
The two of you spent hours together, and Azriel found himself unable to keep his hands off you. You seemed the same way, always placing a hand on his arm, on his shoulder, while he rested his hand on your hips, the small of your back, or held your hand in his.Â
For hours, he watched you dance, and willed his body to move with you, only because your eyes shined, your smile bright, when he did so.
At the end of the night, he walked you home once again, this time pulling you in by the waist and kissing you until you were breathless, twining his hand into your soft hair, your hands on his face.
---
Weeks passed, and the two of you kept meeting as often as your schedules would allow.Â
Azriel would have been on cloud nine⊠except that he was starting to have his doubts. When the two of you were together, it was amazing, a connection and energy that he had never felt with anybody before. In the privacy of his own mind, he was even willing to concede that he had absolutely fallen for you.
But he couldnât pretend that everything was perfect. You had been late to nearly every date. He would always be unnerved waiting for you, thinking that this would be the time that you would leave him hanging, never to be heard from again. But then, you would come, always breathless, like you had rushed to get there, and would apologize profusely, but never giving an explanation. Azriel couldnât help but wonder if you were not as interested in him as he was in you.
He considered talking to Cassian or Rhys about it, but had a suspicion that they would not be very helpful.
So eventually, he decided just to talk to you about it. He didnât want you to feel like you had to keep seeing him if you didnât want to.
There was clearly movement in your house as he approached. He took a deep breath before knocking.
Your eyes were wide in surprise, but not unhappy, when you opened the door. âAzriel,â you smiled. âWhat are you doing here?â
âI wanted to talk to you,â he said, quietly.Â
You opened your mouth to respond, but before anything could come out, a little boy, a toddler came running to the door, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw Azriel hulking in the doorway.Â
The boy gaped at Azriel, his mouth hanging open in shock, before turning to you, âMom! Thatâs the shadowsinger!â he squealed, running up to said shadowsinger and wrapping his tiny arms around Azrielâs legs, his head not even meeting Azrielâs knees. The boy looked up at Azriel in awe, âyou are so cool.â
Azrielâs head spun, trying to process the information in front of him, but he couldnât focus over the feeling of his heart absolutely melting as he gazed at this boy, full of such joy. He patted the boyâs back, smiling. âYou think so?â
He nodded vigorously, his curly hair that matched his motherâs flicking over his eyes. âI wish I could be a spy.â
Azriel grinned. âI can teach you, if your mom says itâs okay.â
The boy gasped, and Azriel looked at you for the first time since your son had made himself known. You looked like you were about to cry, your hands clasped in front of you. He couldnât tell if that was a good thing or not.
âHoney, why donât you go play for a little bit?â you said, your voice slightly shaky, steering your son into the other room. âMom has to talk to Mr. Shadowsinger about grownup stuff for a little bit.â
He pouted a bit, but did as he was told, reluctantly untangling himself from Azriel and toddling into the next room.
You sighed when you were alone with Azriel, searching his face.
âThis is why youâve been late,â Azriel said, his voice thick with emotion.
You nodded. âIâm sorry.â
Azriel took your hand in his, trying to ground himself. âWhy didnât you just tell me?â
Your eyes filled with tears, and Azrielâs heart cracked. âMost males arenât interested in raising someone elseâs kid. And I liked you⊠I was too scared to lose you.â
There was no breath in Azrielâs lungs. He ached for you, for what you had no doubt been through with other males who you tried to date. He wanted to rip them to shreds. Slowly, he leaned down, gently kissing each tear away.Â
âIâm not going anywhere,â he said softly, leaning his forehead against yours. âNot unless you want me to.âÂ
You sniffed, looking up at him through damp lashes. âI donât want you to.â
Azriel smiled softly. âGood,â he murmured, pulling you into his chest, resting his chin on the top of your head.
You stayed like that for a while, holding each other, before he asked, âWhatâs his name?â
âJax.â
âDo you think Jax has it in him to be a spymaster?â
You laughed against his chest, and Azriel smiled into your hair. âI think he can be whatever he wants to be.â
He pulled back to look at you, tilting his face down to meet your eye. âDo you want me in his life? If itâs too soon, thatâs okay. But I would love to get to know him, eventually.â
That beautiful smile shone on your face as you said, âI would love that.â
For the rest of the afternoon, Azriel taught Jax how to be a spy. They ran around the house, ducking behind furniture, following invisible enemies.Â
Azriel glanced at you periodically, reveling in the bright smile on your face, your eyes shining.Â
---
Jax became an important fixture in Azrielâs life, often accompanying your dates around Velaris. One day, Azriel had recruited Feyre to help get you all into a painting class for all ages.Â
You grinned as Azriel led you and Jax into the studio set up with paints and easels. There were a few other families there, setting up their work stations.Â
âAzriel, will you make a painting with me?â Jax asked, his green eyes wide as he looked up at Az.
âAre you sure you donât want to make your own?â Azriel asked.
Jaz nodded. âIâm sure,â he said, taking Azrielâs hand and leading him to the paint station to pick out colors. Jax chose color after color, handing them all to Azriel, who was grinning, trying to keep hold of all the paints.Â
You beamed, your heart full as you watched your son and Azriel together, laughing as they painted together. The easel was set up for Jax to reach it, so Az was sitting on the floor in order to reach it whenever Jax demanded that he contribute to their painting.Â
Azriel was smiling and laughing with the boy, adding in elementary looking trees and bushes wherever Jax instructed him.Â
By the end, they had a painting that looked very much like a toddler made it. It was nearly impossible to tell who had painted what: Jax or Azriel.Â
You laughed as Azriel showed it off to you with a flourish, Jax excitedly bouncing on his toes. âMom, can we hang this up at home?â
âOf course we can,â you grinned, your heart swelling at Azrielâs soft, loving smile.
Azriel came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder to look at your painting while Jaz was busy admiring his own painting.Â
âI thought you said you werenât very good,â Azriel murmured, his heart swelling as he took in the painting that you had created.
It was of that day, of Azriel and Jax painting together. Jax happily paints while Azriel sits on the floor, grinning at him, holding the palette of paint up for Jax to use.
âDo you like it?â you said quietly.Â
âI love it,â he said, nuzzling your neck. âI love you.â
He felt you stiffen beneath his fingers and froze. He had just realized that was the first time he had told you.Â
You twisted in his arms, turning to face him, your eyes shining. âI love you too, Az.â
Azrielâs knees nearly buckled with relief. He gave you a quick, sweet kiss, wishing he wasnât in public.Â
---
By Starfall, the three of you were really starting to feel like a family, and Azriel had never been happier. Cassian and Rhys teased him about it relentlessly, but he knew it was because they were happy for their brother who had finally found happiness like they had.
Azriel kept by your side, his hand on the small of your back as you navigated the crowded balcony on the House of Wind, Jax holding onto your hand.Â
The three of you had spent the beginning of the celebration with the rest of Azrielâs family, and even though they had met before, Jax remained completely enamored with Feyre, Rhysand and Cassian, asking them a million questions about being the High Lady, High Lord, and the commander of armies, respectfully. The three just laughed, going along with it until Azriel deemed it was time to give his brothers and his High Lady a break.Â
The three of you stood together, holding hands, looking to the sky as the music started and the spirits started to move across the sky, slowly at first, and then thousands of them, shooting across the world like shooting stars.Â
Jax watched awestruck for a few minutes before he noticed that there were children playing a game on the far side of the balcony, and he looked to you excitedly, running over to them after you had nodded.
âStay where we can see you!â Azriel called after him.
You turned to Azriel, hugging his waist, gazing up into his eyes lovingly.Â
âWhat?â Azriel smiled, sliding his hand down your back, making you shiver.
âIâve just never been this happy,â you murmured.
âI havenât either,â Azriel said softly, leaning down to kiss you.Â
Azriel pulled your body into his then, leading you into a slow, romantic dance underneath the falling stars.Â
âHappy Starfall,â he said, gazing down at you with all the love in the world.
âHappy Starfall, Az,â you said.
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Thank you!! đ„°đ«¶đ»
What You Mean To Me
Pairing: Rhysand x Reader
Summary: Cassian is fed up with Rhysand x Reader beating around the bush and helps them get together.
Word Count: 2.5k
You would certainly not consider yourself to be a jealous person. In fact, you rather prided yourself in your ability to keep a level head and look at a situation from every possible angle, giving people the benefit of the doubt before you would jump to conclusions.
And really, there was no reason for you to be jealous. The High Lord had taken you in when you had nowhere else to go, and he admittedly had become your closest friend. You knew he cared for you in his own way. But, that was just it. You were friends⊠nothing more. Although he flirted with you shamelessly, you knew he didnât mean any of it. You were endlessly polite, unable to bring yourself to even attempt to flirt back.Â
Yet, as you watched him mingle at Morâs favorite club in Velaris, watched how heads turned as Rhys walked through the crowd, saw the twinkle in the eyes of every woman he talked toâŠletâs just say that you were keenly aware that every eye was on him and that he hadnât so much as glanced in your direction for the past thirty minutes.
âHeâs not interested in them, you know,â Cassian said as he settled in beside you, passing one of the drinks in his hand to you.
âHmm?â you said, finally tearing your gaze from Rhysand, stirring your drink absently with your straw.
Cassian snorted. âRhys. Heâs not interested in any of those people flocking him.â
You shrugged, feigning indifference, gingerly taking a sip of your drink. âOkay?âÂ
âCome on, sweetheart. Youâve been watching him all night, like you always do when weâre out and about,â he said, slinging an arm around your shoulders.
âI do not-â
âYou do,â Cassian cut in. âJust admit to yourself that youâre in love with him, will you? I think youâll be way less miserable. Even better, admit it to him.â
You gaped at him, your mouth forming a small o as you tried desperately to form a response that wasnât humiliating. âI am not in love with him. Heâs -- heâs Rhys, heâs my best friend.â
âYour best friend who saved your life,â Cassian offered, smiling cockily.
You drew your mouth into a thin line. âWell, yes. Of course he means a lot to me. But anyway, Iâm not miserable.â
You turned away from him, frustrated, and faced forward, where you practically had a front row seat to watch a beautiful High Fae whispering in Rhysâs ear, his smile sensual, his hand at her waist.
Cassian looked at you thoughtfully for a moment. âYou look pretty miserable. You look like you hate that woman heâs with. And Iâve never known you to hate anybody.â
You sighed, turning to face Cassian once again. âI donât hate her. I⊠I think Iâm mad at myself.â You thought about all those times Rhys had flirted with you, given you that lazy, sexy smirk⊠and you had done absolutely nothing, too scared to admit to him or yourself what those little moments had done to you. You paused, not wanting to admit it, but knowing that Cassian had opened the door for you to finally talk about your feelings for the High Lord. âI think you may be right. I think I may love him. But what does it matter? I canât do anything about it.â
Cassian seemed taken aback. âWhat -- are you blind? What do you mean you canât do anything about it?â
âWhat am I supposed to do? Heâs the High Lord, and he and I are so different. He would never want me.â
âOnce again, I raise the question, are you blind? Have you not noticed the way he looks at you? How often he looks at you? Or how often he flirts with you? Or how angry he gets at me when I flirt with you?
You shook your head, swirling your straw around again for a distraction. âYouâre out of your mind. He hasnât looked at me once since we got here! And heâs angry at you all the time, that has nothing to do with me.â
Cassian laughed. âYou donât think maybe heâs unaware that youâre interested? Youâve never once entertained his flirting, never tried to tell him how you feel. I think he genuinely has no idea if you see him that way or not. Maybe heâs trying to give you space to come to him, when youâre ready.â
Twisting in your seat again to face away from Cassian, you glanced up and noticed that Rhys was staring right at you, his expression unreadable, and the woman talking to him seemingly forgotten. You quickly glanced away, not knowing how to feel anymore.
âTrust me,â Cassian leaned in, his breath tickling your ear, âIâve known Rhys for a long time. He wants you. He wants you more than heâs ever wanted anything.â
âI--â a blush rushed to your cheeks as you stared at Cassian, completely lost for words. It couldnât be true, could it? But you knew Cassian would never lie to you, especially not about something like this.
âYou better pick your chin up off the floor, because heâs on his way over,â Cassian whispered to you, his smile teasing.
Before you could do anything, Rhysand was before you both, his eyes shooting between you and Cassian. His smile was easy but his eyes had a hint of something else, like he wasnât sure what to make of the two of you right then.Â
âCassian, what have you been saying to the poor darling to make her blush like that?â Rhysand said with the hint of an edge to his voice, his violet eyes fixing on you.
âYou know me, Rhys, always stirring up trouble,â Cassian grinned,squeezing your shoulder for a moment before standing up and downing his drink in one gulp. âYou know what? I think it would be best if she told you all about it on her own. Iâll see you guys later,â he said, shooting you a wink before sauntering off.
Rhysand watched him go before his eyes landed back on you. âIf you need me to beat him up, just say the word.âÂ
You laughed, feeling slightly nervous about being alone with him for the first time you could remember. âIâll be sure to let you know.â
He gazed down at you, and took your hand in his, gently pulling until you were standing. âDance with me, darling?â he purred, just as a slow, beautiful song started playing.
âOf course,â you said quietly, trying not to flush as he led you to a quiet corner of the floor, gently guiding your body close to his.
Rhysandâs touch was gentle, as it always was with you. He had a hand at your waist, idly running his thumb back and forth over the thin fabric of your dress, while his other was holding yours. He was so much taller than you and he was holding you so close that when he spoke you had to crane your neck to look up at him.Â
âAre you alright? You seem⊠upset,â he murmured, gazing down at you with those twinkling eyes.
You felt your cheeks warm, remembering what Cassian had said, remembered Rhysandâs hand on that womanâs waist only minutes ago, and cursed yourself for it. âIâm fine,â you said, trying to sound like it was true. âIâm just a little tired, I think.âÂ
He raised an eyebrow. âYou sure? You know you can tell me anything,â he murmured.Â
You tensed, your fingers tightening on his hand, his shoulder. You averted your gaze, unable to stomach the way he could read you like a book. âI donât know if thatâs true,â you whispered, barely audible over the music and the crowd, but you knew he had heard it.
The look he gave you was of pure concern. âWhat do you mean? Have -- Have I done something?â
Quickly, you shook your head, eyes daring to meet his again. âNo! Itâs just... Youâre the High Lord. Youâve got a whole court to worry about. You shouldnât have to worry about me.â
Rhys scanned your face, his eyes softening. Quietly, so unbelievably quietly he said, âyou have no idea, do you? You have no idea what you are to me.â
âWhat--âÂ
Before you could finish, he asked, âWill you go for a walk with me?â
You hesitated, trying to read his expression. He looked almost like he was in pain, like if you said no, it would be a tragedy. âOkay,â you said, tentatively, almost a question.
Smoothly placing his hand on the small of your back, he guided you through the crowd to the door. Cassian caught your eye and grinned, his eyebrows shooting up into a question as his gaze flicked to Rhys. You swore you could feel Rhysand roll his eyes next to you.
Once you were outside, you took a deep breath of the crisp night air, and looked up to the sky, watching the stars twinkling, trying to ground yourself before whatever was about to happen.
You felt Rhysandâs eyes on you as he took your hand, wordlessly leading you through the City of Starlight. It was unusually quiet tonight; you two were the only people around as he stopped on the bridge looking out across the river and perched his elbows on the railing, gazing out.
It took you a moment to work up the nerve, but you settled in next to him, your arms almost touching, but not quite.Â
After a few moments of silence, Rhysand murmured, âyou were so broken when we met. You were so alone, and all I wanted was to give you a home. It broke my heart every day to look at you during those first months.â
Try as you might, you could not think of anything to say for a long moment. Eventually you settled on, âyou did give me a home, Rhys. And a family. You saved me. You gave me everything.âÂ
He let out a humorless laugh, still gazing out at the river. âI wanted to give you more,â he said quietly.
You felt your breath catch. âWhat do you mean?â
Finally, he turned to face you, his eyes on fire like youâve never seen them before. âI need you to tell me the truth. Please,â he said, his voice wavering in a way that nearly broke your heart in two. He sounded like the words hurt him. âWho am I to you? Am I just your friend? Just your High Lord? Is that all Iâve ever been?â
In this moment, there was no trace of the vibrato and easy smugness that he always wore around. He was vulnerable, pleading, and it made you wonder how many times he had wanted to ask you that question. You knew you could be ruining everything, but finally you whispered, âNo. I-- I never wanted you to just be those things.â
He took a step toward you, his hand gently tilting your chin up to look at him. He murmured, âWhat is it that you want, darling?âÂ
The breath rushed from your lungs. You felt like you were drowning as he looked down at you, his eyes so intense, his breathing uneven, yet still remaining so gentle where he touched you. âI wantâŠâ you gulped, trying to find the courage necessary to get the words out. âI want you.â
Rhysâs eyes widened, his breath stopped entirely. Without another word, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into him as he leaned down to kiss you, tentatively at first, as if he didnât want to scare you off. You let out an involuntary noise, almost a squeak, and after a moment, you wrapped your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss.Â
He groaned quietly, and as his tongue slipped into your mouth, it all clicked into place. You felt it, the tug between the two of you, as if your very souls were connected. Because⊠maybe they were.
With a jolt, you took a step back, your hands sliding down to grasp Rhysandâs considerable biceps. He looked slightly terrified. âAre you okay? Did I do something wrong?â He asked, eyes raking your body as if to make sure he didnât hurt you.
You could barely get the words out, feeling like your throat was constricted. âAre you⊠my mate?â
Rhysandâs expression of pain and concern turned into a slow, seductive half smile that you knew so well. âItâs about time you caught up.â
Your heart thundered in your chest as he pulled you to him once again, gently brushing your hair out of your face and gazing at you with so much love, you felt like you might collapse.Â
You looked at him as he steadied you, a silent question in your eyes.
âIâve known since the moment I saw you. Felt the ground shake beneath my feet, felt the tug in my chest immediately, like nothing else mattered anymore. Nothing but you.â
You couldn't help it. You smacked his chest and he let out a soft grunt. âWhy didnât you tell me?â
His eyes softened again, tinged with pain and maybe a little guilt as he looked at you. âYou had never had a choice in anything before you met me. I didnât want you to feel like you couldnât deny me. And you had so much to deal with⊠I didnât want to add to your plate or confuse you. I just wanted you to heal. And I hoped and dreamed and wished to the stars that one day you would figure it out. That you would love me back.âÂ
Suddenly, tears burst from your eyes, running down your cheeks. He brushed them away with his thumb, so gently you wanted to cry even more. âI always loved you back,â you choked out.Â
He grinned, pulling you into him tightly, kissing the top of your head with a contented sigh. âIt sounds like we have to make up for a lot of lost time then,â he purred.Â
You tilted your chin up to kiss him, wishing you could do it forever, and realizing with a start that you had your entire immortal life ahead of you with him. With your mate.Â
As you pulled away, you mumbled, âCassian is never going to let me live this down.â
Rhysand growled, his hands tensing on your waist. âHeâs the one that pushed you into my arms tonight, is he?âÂ
You nodded, relishing the feeling of his arms around you, and wondering if you would ever get used to it. âDid he know?â
Rhys seemed to contemplate for a moment. âI think he figured it out. He knows me too well. I didnât tell him, though. I didnât trust him to keep his mouth shut,â he smirked.Â
The two of you gazed into each otherâs eyes for a moment, and Rhys smirked, giving you a look that could only mean he was undressing you with his eyes. âI donât want to talk about Cassian anymore,â he murmured, his eyes fixed on your lips.
âMe either,â you breathed.
Rhys laughed seductively, gripping you tightly, before unfurling his wings and shooting you into the sky in one movement, no doubt racing you to the townhouse to do what he had been dreaming about for so, very long.
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Soo for a request i would just wish for fluff.
Maybe where az meets reader at a market and canât forget about her, so the next time he sees her he asks her out. The first date went well but after that reader is always late or even has to postpone the date. So az goes to her home to talk to her and tells her that she doesnât have to go out with him if she doesnt want to but before reader can say anything a small boy who is maybe 2 -3 years old runs out and hugs azriels legs and looks up at him with the biggest green eyes. Thats when azriel realised that reader is a single mom. After that they have their dates with her son. Maybe even their first starfall together. đđ«¶đŒ
OH MY GOD I'M OBSESSED WITH THIS.
*cracks knuckles* I'll be back in a few days đ©·
âš UPDATE: here it is!! âš
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Thank you so much!! đ«¶đ»đ«¶đ»
What You Mean To Me
Pairing: Rhysand x Reader
Summary: Cassian is fed up with Rhysand x Reader beating around the bush and helps them get together.
Word Count: 2.5k
You would certainly not consider yourself to be a jealous person. In fact, you rather prided yourself in your ability to keep a level head and look at a situation from every possible angle, giving people the benefit of the doubt before you would jump to conclusions.
And really, there was no reason for you to be jealous. The High Lord had taken you in when you had nowhere else to go, and he admittedly had become your closest friend. You knew he cared for you in his own way. But, that was just it. You were friends⊠nothing more. Although he flirted with you shamelessly, you knew he didnât mean any of it. You were endlessly polite, unable to bring yourself to even attempt to flirt back.Â
Yet, as you watched him mingle at Morâs favorite club in Velaris, watched how heads turned as Rhys walked through the crowd, saw the twinkle in the eyes of every woman he talked toâŠletâs just say that you were keenly aware that every eye was on him and that he hadnât so much as glanced in your direction for the past thirty minutes.
âHeâs not interested in them, you know,â Cassian said as he settled in beside you, passing one of the drinks in his hand to you.
âHmm?â you said, finally tearing your gaze from Rhysand, stirring your drink absently with your straw.
Cassian snorted. âRhys. Heâs not interested in any of those people flocking him.â
You shrugged, feigning indifference, gingerly taking a sip of your drink. âOkay?âÂ
âCome on, sweetheart. Youâve been watching him all night, like you always do when weâre out and about,â he said, slinging an arm around your shoulders.
âI do not-â
âYou do,â Cassian cut in. âJust admit to yourself that youâre in love with him, will you? I think youâll be way less miserable. Even better, admit it to him.â
You gaped at him, your mouth forming a small o as you tried desperately to form a response that wasnât humiliating. âI am not in love with him. Heâs -- heâs Rhys, heâs my best friend.â
âYour best friend who saved your life,â Cassian offered, smiling cockily.
You drew your mouth into a thin line. âWell, yes. Of course he means a lot to me. But anyway, Iâm not miserable.â
You turned away from him, frustrated, and faced forward, where you practically had a front row seat to watch a beautiful High Fae whispering in Rhysâs ear, his smile sensual, his hand at her waist.
Cassian looked at you thoughtfully for a moment. âYou look pretty miserable. You look like you hate that woman heâs with. And Iâve never known you to hate anybody.â
You sighed, turning to face Cassian once again. âI donât hate her. I⊠I think Iâm mad at myself.â You thought about all those times Rhys had flirted with you, given you that lazy, sexy smirk⊠and you had done absolutely nothing, too scared to admit to him or yourself what those little moments had done to you. You paused, not wanting to admit it, but knowing that Cassian had opened the door for you to finally talk about your feelings for the High Lord. âI think you may be right. I think I may love him. But what does it matter? I canât do anything about it.â
Cassian seemed taken aback. âWhat -- are you blind? What do you mean you canât do anything about it?â
âWhat am I supposed to do? Heâs the High Lord, and he and I are so different. He would never want me.â
âOnce again, I raise the question, are you blind? Have you not noticed the way he looks at you? How often he looks at you? Or how often he flirts with you? Or how angry he gets at me when I flirt with you?
You shook your head, swirling your straw around again for a distraction. âYouâre out of your mind. He hasnât looked at me once since we got here! And heâs angry at you all the time, that has nothing to do with me.â
Cassian laughed. âYou donât think maybe heâs unaware that youâre interested? Youâve never once entertained his flirting, never tried to tell him how you feel. I think he genuinely has no idea if you see him that way or not. Maybe heâs trying to give you space to come to him, when youâre ready.â
Twisting in your seat again to face away from Cassian, you glanced up and noticed that Rhys was staring right at you, his expression unreadable, and the woman talking to him seemingly forgotten. You quickly glanced away, not knowing how to feel anymore.
âTrust me,â Cassian leaned in, his breath tickling your ear, âIâve known Rhys for a long time. He wants you. He wants you more than heâs ever wanted anything.â
âI--â a blush rushed to your cheeks as you stared at Cassian, completely lost for words. It couldnât be true, could it? But you knew Cassian would never lie to you, especially not about something like this.
âYou better pick your chin up off the floor, because heâs on his way over,â Cassian whispered to you, his smile teasing.
Before you could do anything, Rhysand was before you both, his eyes shooting between you and Cassian. His smile was easy but his eyes had a hint of something else, like he wasnât sure what to make of the two of you right then.Â
âCassian, what have you been saying to the poor darling to make her blush like that?â Rhysand said with the hint of an edge to his voice, his violet eyes fixing on you.
âYou know me, Rhys, always stirring up trouble,â Cassian grinned,squeezing your shoulder for a moment before standing up and downing his drink in one gulp. âYou know what? I think it would be best if she told you all about it on her own. Iâll see you guys later,â he said, shooting you a wink before sauntering off.
Rhysand watched him go before his eyes landed back on you. âIf you need me to beat him up, just say the word.âÂ
You laughed, feeling slightly nervous about being alone with him for the first time you could remember. âIâll be sure to let you know.â
He gazed down at you, and took your hand in his, gently pulling until you were standing. âDance with me, darling?â he purred, just as a slow, beautiful song started playing.
âOf course,â you said quietly, trying not to flush as he led you to a quiet corner of the floor, gently guiding your body close to his.
Rhysandâs touch was gentle, as it always was with you. He had a hand at your waist, idly running his thumb back and forth over the thin fabric of your dress, while his other was holding yours. He was so much taller than you and he was holding you so close that when he spoke you had to crane your neck to look up at him.Â
âAre you alright? You seem⊠upset,â he murmured, gazing down at you with those twinkling eyes.
You felt your cheeks warm, remembering what Cassian had said, remembered Rhysandâs hand on that womanâs waist only minutes ago, and cursed yourself for it. âIâm fine,â you said, trying to sound like it was true. âIâm just a little tired, I think.âÂ
He raised an eyebrow. âYou sure? You know you can tell me anything,â he murmured.Â
You tensed, your fingers tightening on his hand, his shoulder. You averted your gaze, unable to stomach the way he could read you like a book. âI donât know if thatâs true,â you whispered, barely audible over the music and the crowd, but you knew he had heard it.
The look he gave you was of pure concern. âWhat do you mean? Have -- Have I done something?â
Quickly, you shook your head, eyes daring to meet his again. âNo! Itâs just... Youâre the High Lord. Youâve got a whole court to worry about. You shouldnât have to worry about me.â
Rhys scanned your face, his eyes softening. Quietly, so unbelievably quietly he said, âyou have no idea, do you? You have no idea what you are to me.â
âWhat--âÂ
Before you could finish, he asked, âWill you go for a walk with me?â
You hesitated, trying to read his expression. He looked almost like he was in pain, like if you said no, it would be a tragedy. âOkay,â you said, tentatively, almost a question.
Smoothly placing his hand on the small of your back, he guided you through the crowd to the door. Cassian caught your eye and grinned, his eyebrows shooting up into a question as his gaze flicked to Rhys. You swore you could feel Rhysand roll his eyes next to you.
Once you were outside, you took a deep breath of the crisp night air, and looked up to the sky, watching the stars twinkling, trying to ground yourself before whatever was about to happen.
You felt Rhysandâs eyes on you as he took your hand, wordlessly leading you through the City of Starlight. It was unusually quiet tonight; you two were the only people around as he stopped on the bridge looking out across the river and perched his elbows on the railing, gazing out.
It took you a moment to work up the nerve, but you settled in next to him, your arms almost touching, but not quite.Â
After a few moments of silence, Rhysand murmured, âyou were so broken when we met. You were so alone, and all I wanted was to give you a home. It broke my heart every day to look at you during those first months.â
Try as you might, you could not think of anything to say for a long moment. Eventually you settled on, âyou did give me a home, Rhys. And a family. You saved me. You gave me everything.âÂ
He let out a humorless laugh, still gazing out at the river. âI wanted to give you more,â he said quietly.
You felt your breath catch. âWhat do you mean?â
Finally, he turned to face you, his eyes on fire like youâve never seen them before. âI need you to tell me the truth. Please,â he said, his voice wavering in a way that nearly broke your heart in two. He sounded like the words hurt him. âWho am I to you? Am I just your friend? Just your High Lord? Is that all Iâve ever been?â
In this moment, there was no trace of the vibrato and easy smugness that he always wore around. He was vulnerable, pleading, and it made you wonder how many times he had wanted to ask you that question. You knew you could be ruining everything, but finally you whispered, âNo. I-- I never wanted you to just be those things.â
He took a step toward you, his hand gently tilting your chin up to look at him. He murmured, âWhat is it that you want, darling?âÂ
The breath rushed from your lungs. You felt like you were drowning as he looked down at you, his eyes so intense, his breathing uneven, yet still remaining so gentle where he touched you. âI wantâŠâ you gulped, trying to find the courage necessary to get the words out. âI want you.â
Rhysâs eyes widened, his breath stopped entirely. Without another word, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into him as he leaned down to kiss you, tentatively at first, as if he didnât want to scare you off. You let out an involuntary noise, almost a squeak, and after a moment, you wrapped your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss.Â
He groaned quietly, and as his tongue slipped into your mouth, it all clicked into place. You felt it, the tug between the two of you, as if your very souls were connected. Because⊠maybe they were.
With a jolt, you took a step back, your hands sliding down to grasp Rhysandâs considerable biceps. He looked slightly terrified. âAre you okay? Did I do something wrong?â He asked, eyes raking your body as if to make sure he didnât hurt you.
You could barely get the words out, feeling like your throat was constricted. âAre you⊠my mate?â
Rhysandâs expression of pain and concern turned into a slow, seductive half smile that you knew so well. âItâs about time you caught up.â
Your heart thundered in your chest as he pulled you to him once again, gently brushing your hair out of your face and gazing at you with so much love, you felt like you might collapse.Â
You looked at him as he steadied you, a silent question in your eyes.
âIâve known since the moment I saw you. Felt the ground shake beneath my feet, felt the tug in my chest immediately, like nothing else mattered anymore. Nothing but you.â
You couldn't help it. You smacked his chest and he let out a soft grunt. âWhy didnât you tell me?â
His eyes softened again, tinged with pain and maybe a little guilt as he looked at you. âYou had never had a choice in anything before you met me. I didnât want you to feel like you couldnât deny me. And you had so much to deal with⊠I didnât want to add to your plate or confuse you. I just wanted you to heal. And I hoped and dreamed and wished to the stars that one day you would figure it out. That you would love me back.âÂ
Suddenly, tears burst from your eyes, running down your cheeks. He brushed them away with his thumb, so gently you wanted to cry even more. âI always loved you back,â you choked out.Â
He grinned, pulling you into him tightly, kissing the top of your head with a contented sigh. âIt sounds like we have to make up for a lot of lost time then,â he purred.Â
You tilted your chin up to kiss him, wishing you could do it forever, and realizing with a start that you had your entire immortal life ahead of you with him. With your mate.Â
As you pulled away, you mumbled, âCassian is never going to let me live this down.â
Rhysand growled, his hands tensing on your waist. âHeâs the one that pushed you into my arms tonight, is he?âÂ
You nodded, relishing the feeling of his arms around you, and wondering if you would ever get used to it. âDid he know?â
Rhys seemed to contemplate for a moment. âI think he figured it out. He knows me too well. I didnât tell him, though. I didnât trust him to keep his mouth shut,â he smirked.Â
The two of you gazed into each otherâs eyes for a moment, and Rhys smirked, giving you a look that could only mean he was undressing you with his eyes. âI donât want to talk about Cassian anymore,â he murmured, his eyes fixed on your lips.
âMe either,â you breathed.
Rhys laughed seductively, gripping you tightly, before unfurling his wings and shooting you into the sky in one movement, no doubt racing you to the townhouse to do what he had been dreaming about for so, very long.
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âšACOTAR Masterlist âš
Azriel x Reader:
Falling Slowly: Azriel and Reader slowly get closer and closer, until they finally realize that they are meant to be together.
I'll Look After You: Azriel comes back from a mission all bloody, and reader forces him to lay back and be taken care of.
đ„It's Cool, We're Just Friends: Azriel and Reader have been besties for years, until one night when they enter uncharted territory.
đ„I Heard Your Voice in a Dream: SpringCourt! Reader is saved by Azriel and they have an instant connection.
You Drew Stars Around My Scars: Azriel and Reader have an instant connection when they meet, but Az starts having doubts when she keeps showing up late to their dates.
I Love You, It's Ruining My Life: Azriel and Reader have been friends for years, and eventually fall for each other, but when Reader overhears a conversation she wasn't meant to, she starts to have doubts.
Rhysand x Reader:
What You Mean To Me: Cassian gets fed up with Rhysand and Reader being idiots, so he takes matters into his own hands and helps them get together.
In the Middle of the Night, In My Dreams: Reader has nightmares, but even when Rhys is gone, he knows hot to help.
đ„= steam with plot
Updated 4/28/24
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Ahhh, thank you so much!! đđ©·đ„°
I Heard Your Voice in a Dream
Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Summary: Readerâs village in the Spring Court is destroyed by Hybern (F U Tampon), and she is on her own until Azriel finds her. She feels instantly connected to him, but is not sure why, until one morning when he tells her everything.
(Also my first attempt at duel POV)
Warnings: a smutty ending
Word Count: 6.4k
You were running for your life when Azriel found you.Â
After the High Lord of the Spring Court made a deal with the devil to bring back his love that fled from him, life looked much different for you.Â
Hybern had attacked your village, destroyed your home and everything you had ever known. Your High Lord was nowhere to be found. Most of the people you knew didnât make it out. Somehow, you had, but you couldnât help but wonder⊠at what cost?
You spent your time wandering the endless green spring, not sure what to do. You had missed the evacuation. Nobody knew you were injured or where you were. By the time you were well enough to walk, you were alone.Â
The panic was made worse by the fact that you knew what was in these lands -- monsters that you had no hope of beating should they target you.Â
And eventually, they did target you.Â
You werenât sure what kind of creature it was -- just knew that those teeth could rip you to shreds and you wouldnât be able to outrun it for long.Â
But you did run, because what other choice did you have? You ran and ran, not daring to look back. You could hear it gaining on you with every step, until you felt, more than heard, the ground shaking beneath you.Â
Suddenly, it was silent, the terrible feet of the monster no longer sounding behind you. You risked a glance back, and saw who must have been a warrior, with enormous black wings spread behind him, wiping off his bloody blade on the grass next to the carcass of the beast.
You stopped running, turning around slowly, studying him as he looked up at you. He was the most beautiful male you had ever seen, with dark black hair and a completely stoic face, giving away absolutely nothing about what he was thinking. The hard lines of that face terrified you as much as they intrigued you. You realized you were shaking as he walked toward you slowly, as if approaching an injured animal. He was wearing some kind of armor -- all black, with gleaming, glowing circles attached to several points of his body. There were dark tendrils of what looked like smoke circling his arms, his hands. He sheathed his gleaming black blade as he approached you.Â
He held his hands out, severely scarred, you noticed, palms facing you as he got closer. âItâs okay, I wonât hurt you.â His deep, commanding voice seemed to echo through the now quiet woods.
You couldnât stop trembling, couldnât bring your voice to speak.
âWhatâs your name?â he said softly when he stopped a few feet from you.
You told him, your voice barely above a whisper.
The warrior repeated your name quietly, his hazel eyes softening, then said âIâm Azriel. Are you hurt?â
âI-- I donât think so.â
Azriel nodded, his eyes scanning your body, as if to confirm it. âWhat are you doing out here alone?â
You couldnât help but think that the soft, gentle voice he was now using with you was such a juxtaposition to the fierceness of his armor, his no doubt rock solid body, his massive wings. âI have nowhere to go,â you finally choked out.
His brow furrowed, his eyes swimming with emotion you couldnât quite place. âYour family?â
You couldnât bring yourself to say it. The expression on your face seemed to say enough. His jaw tightened as he swallowed.
âYour home?â he asked, his voice husky.
âDestroyed,â you whispered.
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. âIâm sorry,â he said, his expression softening as he studied your face. You could almost see the wheels turning in his head, but you couldnât imagine what he was contemplating.Â
âThank you,â you croaked out eventually. âFor saving my life.â
You turned to go, not wanting to inconvenience him further, but his hand grasped your wrist. As you turned around, you noticed his demeanor had completely changed. He staggered back a step, still holding onto you, pulling you forward a bit. Where before he was confident and calming, his eyes were now wide, his mouth open in what could only be shock.
âWhat is it?â you asked.
Azriel shook his head slightly, as if trying to clear it. âCome with me.â
You didnât try to hide your surprise. âYou donât have to do that, Iâll manage.â
He moved his grip from your wrist to your hand, holding it carefully in his, as he gazed at your face, his eyes pleading. âYou wonât survive out here. My home -- itâs safe. Youâll be safe.â
Contemplating this, you tried to weigh your options. You knew he was right, that you wouldnât make it for much longer alone out here. You could try to make it to another court, but how long would that take? And what would happen to you if you got there? But, his home, the one he claimed was safe⊠you had never seen anyone like him before. Never seen anyone as intimidating. Finally, you asked. âWho⊠are you?â
His cheeks dusted red as he seemed to grapple for the right words. âI work for the High Lord of the Night Court,â he said carefully.
Unconsciously, you took a step back, pulling your hand from his grasp.
Azrielâs eyes flared. If you didnât know better you would think it was panic. âItâs not what you think,â he said, his voice steady despite his body language.
âThe Night Court?â you felt your heart beating faster. Why did your savior have to be from there, of all places? The only thing worse than these woods would be the Court of Nightmares, where not just the High Lord, but the people were brutal and malicious.
âIf you just saw it, you would understand,â he said, taking a careful step towards you again. âI will keep you safe, I swear it.â His eyes remained pleading in a way that you couldnât comprehend.
âWhy?â you asked, trying to make sense of this warrior before you. âWhy do you care so much?â
He hesitated, his eyes searching yours. Finally, he said with all the sincerity in the world, âI couldnât live with myself if I just left you here.â
You sighed, trying to think. As if reading your thoughts he said, âYou either trust me or be eaten by something out here.â
He was right. You knew he was. Still, you couldnât stop the fear that lodged in your throat as you turned back to him and said resignedly, âOkay. Take me with you.â
---
Azriel tried to keep his breathing steady as the two of you made it to the townhouse in Velaris. He knew he would have a lot of explaining to do.Â
He watched your eyes widen as you took in the sight around you. Children laughing, people walking and talking, seemingly without a care in the world. A bustling city nestled between the mountains of the Night Court.Â
âWhere⊠are we?â you asked. Your voice had not yet risen to a normal volume in the short time that he had known you.
Azriel didnât know how much to tell you. He would likely already be in hot water just for bringing you here. âThe Night Court,â he said, trying to keep his voice bland. âSort of.â
You gaped at him.Â
Azriel winced as you neared the front door. âI hate to do this. But, I need you to wait out here.â
Your eyes only widened. âYouâre going to leave me?âÂ
His heart cracked a bit at your words. âIt should only be a few minutes. I told you, itâs safe here.â
You scowled, crossing your arms, but finally said, âOkay.â
Azriel nodded once, took a deep breath, and walked inside. Cassian, Feyre, and Rhysand were all in the living room. Rhys was laughing at something Feyre said. All eyes looked to you as you stepped into the threshold.Â
âYouâre back early,â Rhys said.
âI need to talk to you,â Azriel said to Rhysand, his voice sounding off, even to his own ears. âAlone.â
The others looked between the two of you curiously. Rhysand rose, masking his surprise, and gestured to his study.
When they were alone, Azriel didnât know what to say, how to start. Finally, Rhysand had to say âWhatâs going on, Az?â
Azriel sighed, running a hand through his hair. âWhen I got to the Spring Court, there was a woman. Running through the woods, from a bogge.â
âOkay,â Rhys drawled.
âI saved her, obviously. But, Rhys, you should have seen her. She was terrified and alone. I think sheâs from the village that Hybern attacked.âÂ
Rhysand raised an eyebrow. âAnd?â
Azriel held his gaze. âSheâs my mate, Rhys.â
The High Lord swore. âYou brought her here, didnât you?â
âWhat was I supposed to do? She wouldâve died out there.â
Rhysand nodded, processing the information. âIt was a risk, bringing her here.â
âI know it was,â Azriel said, unwilling to apologize, not for saving his mateâs life.
Despite the danger Azriel had put them in, Rhysand smiled at his brother. âYou found your mate.â
Azriel nodded. He hadnât really processed the information yet.
âDoes she know?â Rhys asked.
âNo. Sheâs going through enough right now.â
Rhysand nodded again. âJust be careful. You know how it went when Feyre found out before I told her.â
âI know.âÂ
âSo,â Rhys said, leaning against his desk. âI guess we let her stay in the House of Wind. She can find her own place later, if she wants.â
Azriel breathed a sigh of relief. âThank you. Really.âÂ
---
True to his word, Azriel was back a few minutes later. You were still shocked, trying to make sense of the day. How could this place be a part of the Night Court?
âI can take you to your room now, if youâre ready,â he said by way of greeting.Â
âMy room?â What, in his house?Â
âUnless you want a tour of the city first? I figured youâd be tired,â he said naturally, as if he were speaking about the weather.Â
You couldnât help but gawk at him. âI get a room?â
âYes,â he said, as if it were obvious.
âOkay,â you said cautiously. âSure, letâs go to⊠my room.â
He cleared his throat, taking a tentative step toward you. âWeâll have to fly.â
You just blinked at him. Surely, he didnât meanâŠ?
He motioned toward you. âMay I?â
Resolved, you said, âAt this point, why not?âÂ
The ghost of a smile appeared on his lips before carefully, he swept you up in his arms, glancing at your face before flapping his mighty wings, taking the two of you up over the city, toward a large mountain.
You clung to him, your stomach twisting in knots, until he landed gently on a balcony on the top of the mountain.
âAre you okay?â he asked as he set you on the ground.
You nodded, looking past him into the formal dining room inside. âWhere are we?â
âThis is one of the High Lordâs residences in the city. He doesnât really stay here with us,â he said, opening the door and leading you inside.Â
âUs?â
âMe and a few others that youâll meet. His inner circle.â
Again, you felt that fear spike through your body. The High Lord of the Night Court. His inner circle. What had you gotten yourself into?
As if sensing your fear, he stopped and faced you, looking at you intently. âThe stories youâve heard⊠theyâre not real. At least, not in the context that you think.â
You couldnât bring yourself to form a response. But, surprisingly, you wanted to trust him, this man who saved your life.Â
When he realized that you werenât going to say anything, he cocked his head, motioning for you to follow him through the house. You silently obeyed, his heavy footsteps echoing through the empty hallways.Â
Finally, he stopped before a room, shouldering the door open and gesturing for you to step inside first. It was more lavish than any room youâd seen in your village in the Spring Court. The four poster bed was huge in the center of the room. To the right was a sitting area with two chairs and a couch, cozy looking rugs, and through an open door you could see a washroom. It was more inviting than you had expected.Â
âWill this be alright?â Azriel asked as you surveyed the room.
You couldnât help but laugh. âYes, this should be just fine.â
He smiled faintly. âIâm just a few doors down, if you need anything.â
âYouâre leaving?â you asked, for the second time that day.
Hesitating by the door, he said, âI thought youâd like some time to unwind. I imagine itâs been quite a day for you.â
You nodded, but couldnât help the pang you felt at being left alone again. Azriel was starting to feel like all you had in the world.Â
After studying you for a beat, he said, âI can come back in an hour? Give you some time to settle in?â
You couldnât stop the small smi']le that tugged at your lips. âOkay.â
---
An hour later, Azriel was knocking on your door, wondering what the hell he had gotten himself into. This morning, he was leaving for the Spring Court to check on how Tamlin had been handling things, and now his mate was staying a few doors down, with no idea where she was or anything about him.Â
The breath was knocked right out of him as you opened the door. You had changed into leggings and a sweater, the shape of your legs on full display, your hair, slightly damp, was falling loose in ringlets over your shoulders.Â
An angel, he thought. You looked like an angel.Â
âIâm glad you gave me that hour,â you admitted, looking up at him from beneath your lashes. Azriel felt faint. âI havenât had a real bath in ages.â
Clarity struck his brain again at the reminder of what you had been through, how you had been living since the attack on your home. His heart ached for you. He wanted to rip Hybern apart with his bare hands.
âDo you want the tour?â he asked, dumbly, trying to stomp down his emotions,
You agreed, and he led you through the halls, the tug in his chest dazing him. He ached to reach for your hand, to bring your body into his. How had Rhys endured all that time with Feyre, feeling like this?
As you walked through the house, you started asking questions, and Azriel answered to the best of his ability. He told you about Velaris, how secret it was, why it had been kept a secret. The Court of Nightmares, the lies they had to spin. He explained that he was the Night Courtâs spymaster, explained his shadows, his shadowsinger abilities, his wings. He didnât give a ton of details, not wanting to overwhelm you, but not wanting to lie either.
You told him of your past, too. Of your life with your family before Hybern, your cottage, your friends. None of them had survived the attack. Azriel clenched his fists as you spoke, marveling at how kind and reserved you were, despite the horrors that you had been through.
Suddenly, there was a commotion in the direction of the dining room and he winced. He would have to bring you to dinner, to face the entire group. Azriel knew that Rhys had relayed the information by now about his⊠guest. That was why they had all insisted on coming to dinner, to scope you out.
He felt guilty about keeping you out of the loop, that everyone would know that you were his mate. But you knew how much pressure could be put on females to give into their mates. He would never do that to you, he wanted you to have a choice.Â
He would just have to wait until you were settled, until you knew that you were safe with him.Â
You looked at him questioningly, and he simply said, âAre you hungry? Itâs almost time for dinner.âÂ
âDinnerâŠâ you trailed off, a question in your eyes.
âWith everyone. Yeah.â
Your eyes widened and he couldnât help himself. He took your hand in his like he did in the woods, what had made the bond snap into place. âItâll be okay. Theyâre good people.â
You looked skeptical, but nodded, moving a bit closer to him. He swore he felt his heart miss a beat.Â
Azriel led you to the dining room, still holding your hand. At the threshold of the room, you dropped his hand and stood behind him, peaking around his shoulder at the loud group. He could tell you were frightened, and wanted desperately to hold you, to take the fear away.
He cleared his throat, catching the attention of everyone in the room. He looked at his friends sternly, willing them to behave, at least for tonight, before he introduced you to them.Â
You remained behind him, creeping out the littlest bit, placing your hand gently on his bicep. He looked back at you, trying to calm you down like he had in the woods.Â
âCome on,â he murmured, lightly placing his hand on your arm and guiding you to your seat. You followed, your body taut.Â
Azriel introduced you to Cassian, Mor, Elain, Nesta, and Amren. You stayed silent, wide eyed, no doubt realizing the power in the people around you. Finally, he gestured to Rhys and Feyre. âAnd this is the High Lord and Lady.â
Your eyes widened further then, taking in Feyre. âHigh Lady,â you murmured, in awe.Â
Right. The High Lady. Feyre was the one who had tore the Spring Court apart from the inside out. Azriel hadnât even thought of that, and watched your reaction.Â
Feyre smiled at you kindly and Rhys looked extremely proud. âHonestly, that⊠thatâs amazing. A High Lady,â you repeated. Azriel let out the breath he was holding.
âWe sure think so,â Rhys smirked, his eyes sliding warmly to Feyre.
Azriel could feel some of the tension leave your body, and he nearly slumped with relief.Â
Your reaction seemed to please his friends, too. Azriel couldnât help but feel a swell of pride.Â
Throughout the course of dinner, you had remained silent, your doe eyes taking in everything before you. Azriel was hyper aware of you beside him, trying to sense your every reaction.Â
After dinner, Azriel walked you back to your room, pausing at the door. âHow are you doing?â he asked.
âI think Iâm okay,â you said. âItâs not what I expected.â
Azriel nodded. âIn a good way?â
You smiled lightly up at him. He nearly fell over. âEveryone seems⊠normal. Like a family.â
Azriel smiled faintly. âThey are. We are a family.â
Studying his face, you stayed silent for a moment. âThank you,â you whispered.
He squeezed your shoulder gently, feeling his heart constrict at your vulnerability. âSleep well. Come get me if you need anything, okay?â
You nodded, still smiling slightly as you went inside and gently closed the door behind you.
---
Despite your exhaustion, you lay awake, staring at the unfamiliar ceiling, your mind spinning. A family. Thatâs what this was, all of these powerful fae in one room, the mightiest warriors, the most fearsome High Lord⊠talking and teasing and laughing at dinner.Â
You had felt Azrielâs eyes on you, gauging your reactions.Â
Azriel. He was what was truly keeping you up, you thought. The most beautiful man with the scarred hands and the siphons, you had learned, that helped him harness his unbelievable power, the apparently legendary blade at his side. And yet, the way he watched you, the way his voice changed when he spoke to youâŠ
You couldnât help but trust him, feeling safe next to him. He had saved your life, after all. It was that thought that was wisping through your mind as you finally drifted off to sleep.Â
---
The first night in your new bed, you had slept through the night once you were finally able to sleep, too exhausted from the events of the day to be chased by monsters in your dreams.Â
The second night was a different story.Â
You didnât even realize you had been screaming until scarred hands were shaking you awake, hazel eyes so close to yours, full of worry and protectiveness, saying your name over and over until your eyes cleared.Â
Azrielâs fingers were rubbing soothing circles on your shoulders. âItâs okay, youâre safe. It was just a dream,â he said softly, cupping your cheek in his rough hand when you had stopped trembling.
âIâm sorry,â you croaked, tears springing to your eyes.Â
He gently wiped the tears away with his thumb, not taking his eyes off you for a second. âFor what?â his voice was husky from sleep.
âWaking you,â you whispered, captivated by his hands on you, his eyes swimming with emotion.Â
âDonât be sorry,â he said gently, his thumb still absently stroking your cheek. âAre you okay?â
You nodded, not trusting your voice to be audible enough for him to hear.
âDo you want -- I can stay. If you want. Until you fall back to sleep,â he said hesitantly. You hadnât known him long, but you imagined it was rare for him to stumble over his words like this.
âYou donât have to do that,â you said quietly, though you felt your heart swell at the offer. âI appreciate it, but⊠Iâm sure the spymaster needs sleep.â
The corner of his mouth turned up into a faint smile as he pulled back from you, settling in the armchair against the wall. âIâm used to staying up because Iâm the spymaster,â he said, humor lining his voice.
âYouâve already done so much for me--â
His voice was still soft, but added a commanding edge as he cut you off. âSleep, my lady. I donât mind.â
You considered protesting again, but knew it wouldnât get you anywhere. And honestly⊠it did make you feel better to have his comforting presence in the room, chasing away all of your invisible demons.
---
It didnât take long for your breathing to go steady, lost in a deep sleep. Azriel couldnât bring himself to leave you yet, though.Â
The sound of your terrified shrieks ran over and over in his mind. He had been protective of people before, of course, but this. The terror he could feel radiating off of you, the tears streaming down your face, the look in your eyes before you realized where you were⊠his hands gripped the armrests so tightly that he worried you might not have a chair in your room tomorrow.Â
He focused on you now: your peaceful face, your hair draped across the pillow, your breathing even. It calmed him down slightly, but not enough.
Azriel wanted to stay. Just to be sure that you were alright, to ensure that he would be able to stop the nightmares before they escalated this time, but he did not want to invade your privacy. He knew that you probably wouldnât be happy to find him still sitting there in the morning.Â
So, after you had been sleeping peacefully for quite some time, he dragged himself out of the chair and silently went to his own room, where he could not sleep at all, those screams rattling around in his mind.
---
Azriel stayed by your side for weeks after you arrived in the Night Court, only leaving, seemingly, when he absolutely had to. The two of you would relax in the library, raid the kitchen, wander around the streets in Velaris that seemed endless to you, in the best way. Despite everything that you had heard of the Night Court and its inhabitants, you were starting to feel at home there. Though you still were extremely intimidated by everyone except Azriel, and couldnât imagine spending time with any one of them if he wasnât present.Â
Though you were starting to adjust to your new life, you continued to wake Azriel so consistently with your nightmares that you wondered if you should just offer to let him sleep next to you. Of course, you knew you couldnât possibly do that. Your cheeks flushed at just the thought. Guilt gnawed at you though, for being the reason for his lack of sleep, so much so that you offered to switch rooms, somewhere further from him, but he would hear none of it. Nearly every night he came into your room, shaking you awake, then soothing you back to sleep. You couldnât imagine how he was functioning on so little rest.
One night was particularly bad. You dreamt of the attack on your village, the bloodshed you saw, the terror you felt. You knew Azriel could sense that it was worse than usual, as he wouldnât take his soothing hands from your arms until you had stopped trembling, which took significantly longer than it normally did. His eyes were filled with more worry than you had seen before, and when he pulled away from you, you couldnât stop yourself from reaching out and gently grabbing his wrist.Â
His eyes widened a bit in surprise as he turned back to face you, but he said nothing.Â
âCan you come here?â Your quiet voice cracked on the last word and his jaw ticked at the sound.Â
He approached you slowly, like he didnât want to do the wrong thing. âWhat can I do?â he murmured.Â
âCan you -- I mean, would it be too weirdâŠâ you flushed, unable to get the words out.
Comprehension flooded his expression and you were so embarrassed that you wanted to take it all back, but then his eyes softened with so much warmth that you wanted to cry. âYou want me to lay with you for a bit?â
You bit your lip. âWould you?â
The ghost of a smile. Your heart melted.
You scooched over to the far side of the bed before he settled into next to you, agonizingly slowly. He faced you, propping his cheek on his fist. âIs this okay?â
You could only nod, concealing half your face with your sheets in an attempt to hide how red your cheeks had no doubt become. The heat radiated off his body, his shadows nowhere to be found in the dim light.Â
He smiled faintly as you looked at him. He murmured, âyou have to close your eyes to sleep, you know.â
More heat rose to your cheeks. âYou could sleep too. You donât have to stay up and guard me.â
His smile grew. âIsnât that literally what Iâm here for?â
âYouâre here forâŠâ you contemplated how much you should tell him. âYour comforting presence,â you finally said.Â
âYou find my presence comforting?â he said, his voice losing that teasing note he had been using moments before.
âOf course I do,â you said, slightly mesmerized by those hazel eyes that rarely left yours.
His expression was unreadable as he studied you for another moment before laying down and murmuring, âGo to sleep.â
So, you did.
---
Azriel could not sleep.
His mate. His mate, who flooded his thoughts day in and day out, whose tug on him drove him mad every waking moment, was in bed with him. And she had no idea what she was. Or what he desperately wanted to do to her.
Your comforting presence.Â
The words drifted around his mind ceaselessly. He was willing to bet that his mate was one of the only people who would ever feel that way. Most people feared him, or were at least wary of the near-silent shadowsinger.
But, his mateâŠÂ
Azrielâs eyes whipped to you as your breathing changed, ready to wake you up again if need be. He watched the rise and fall of your chest carefully, before it evened out again and he relaxed back against the mattress.Â
He would have to tell you. Soon. He wasnât sure how much longer he could take this, without having any idea how you felt about him.Â
He thought of you, as he always did lately, when he finally drifted off to sleep.Â
---
Strong arms were holding you when you awoke. Before you were fully conscious, you snuggled further into the warmth. Mother only knew how long it had been since you had felt that safe.Â
It wasnât until you heard the grumble of a sleepy male behind you that your eyes sprung open and you realized where you were. You were in your bed, faint sunlight shining through the curtains. And the shadowsinger was behind you, his arms wrapped around your middle, your bodies flush together, his breath tickling your neck.Â
You were spooning. Azriel was spooning you.Â
And he wasnât awake yet.
Mother above and Cauldron save me.
Should you pull away? You didnât exactly want to. And it had been so long since he had gotten a good nightâs rest, thanks to you.Â
Selfishly, you couldnât bear to leave those arms. So, you did what any rational person would do. You pretended you were still asleep and savored the feeling of the strong warriorâs body pressed against yours.
It was a little while later when he shifted and stiffened. He was awake.Â
Carefully, he untangled himself from you, backing up to where he had started the night. After a moment, you turned around, to face him, feigning grogginess.Â
He was gazing at you, his expression more open than you had ever seen it. His eyes swimmed with something that looked like longing. Or maybe thatâs just what you hoped it was.
âDid you sleep okay?â he asked, his voice gravelly from sleep. It made your toes curl beneath the sheets.
âI slept really well, actually,â you said, honestly. âDid you get to sleep?â
He nodded, his expression smoothing back to that unreadable blankness.Â
âThank you for staying,â you said softly. âI donât know what I would do without you.â
Azrielâs eyes softened. âI donât know what I would do without you, either.â
You sat up a bit, propping yourself up on one elbow. âMe? What do you mean?â
He furrowed his brow, as if he were contemplating whether to tell you something or not.Â
âIs something wrong?â you asked.Â
He swallowed, his jaw clenched slightly. âThereâs something I should tell you.â
You just waited, gazing at that beautiful face.
Taking a deep breath, his eyes not wavering from yours, he said, âThat day, when I touched you in the woods, I realized that youâre my mate.â
If you werenât in your bed, youâre sure you would have fallen over. Your heart started pounding and you sat up fully, now very aware of the thin night clothes you were wearing.Â
Azriel sat up too, studying, trying to gauge your reaction.Â
âThatâs why you were so adamant about bringing me with you,â you said quietly, your mind reeling.Â
He nodded. âTo be fair, I might have done that anyway, but⊠yes. I couldnât leave you there.â
You watched his hazel eyes looking back at you. You had been right before, you could see that now. He wanted you. Longed to be close to you.Â
âThatâs why I feel so connected to you,â you whispered, noting that tug in your chest that is always leading you to him. âWhy you always make me feel so safe.â
His expression flooded with emotion. âYou really feel that way around me?â
âOf course I do. Since the very beginning,â you said, inching closer to him, so your legs were almost touching. You couldnât quite believe it.Â
Azriel was your mate. The sweet, mysterious, strong spymaster from the Night Court who saved your life. Who had given you a home.
He was your home, you realized with a start.Â
âAre youâŠhappy?â Azriel asked, his voice softer than youâd ever heard it.Â
He had been worried, you realized. Worried that you would be upset, or wouldnât return his feelings.Â
Without a word, you leaned forward, cupping his face in your hands, and kissed him.
You felt the relief rush through his body as he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you to him. You settled on his lap, straddling him, deepening the kiss.Â
He moaned quietly into your mouth as he slipped his tongue inside and you tightened your grip on him, raking your nails down his back. You felt his hardness pressing against your leg, and flushed at that feeling of being wanted.
His rough hands trailed up your bare thighs, toying with the hem of your nightdress. He stopped kissing you long enough to pull back, a silent question in his eyes. You nodded, smiling, and kissed him fiercely before he slowly pulled the dress up and over your head, his eyes raking your body, now completely bare save for your underwear.
âYou are so beautiful,â he whispered, his eyes twinkling, before he kissed sensually down your neck. Then lower and lowerâŠ
You gasped as he took your nipple in his mouth, biting gently before soothing over the peak with his tongue.Â
âAzriel,â you moaned, and he growled in response, tightening an arm around your waist and flipping you onto your back, pressing your body into the mattress with his.
âYou never answered my question,â he said, his voice husky, desperate. He toyed with one of your breasts while he devoured your neck, biting and licking and kissing.
âWhat⊠what was the question?â you panted, your mind spinning.Â
He laughed into your skin, low and sensual, making your back arch. âAre you happy?â
You took your face in his hands, guiding him to look at you. His fingers stopped, his eyes open and yearning. âIâm home, Az. Youâre my home. Iâve never been happier.â
His smile lit up his entire face, and he kissed you sweetly. âYou have no idea how happy I am to hear that,â he murmured.Â
He continued kissing you slowly and lovingly before the two of you got heated again. You tugged at his shirt and he helped you peel it off. He leaned against you, and you reveled in the feeling of his skin against yours, the feel of his muscled back under your fingers.
Your breath got stuck in your throat as he kissed down your body while sliding your panties down your legs, eventually settling his face in between your legs, his mouth hovering an inch from where you needed him.Â
âAz,â you groaned, twining your fingers in his hair.Â
You couldâve sworn you heard a soft grunt before his mouth connected with your center and you had to bite your lip to keep from screaming.Â
âWeâre the only ones here, you know,â he said, eyeing you mischievously, sliding a finger into you while his mouth was occupied.
âMeaning?â you panted.
He smirked, sliding another finger into you. You gasped, your back arching off the mattress. âYou donât have to be quiet,â he said, his voice velvet.Â
Before you could react, he ducked his head back down, sucking hard on your clit, while pumping his fingers in and out of you.Â
You couldnât stop the scream that erupted from you, tugging at his hair, pulling him further into you.
Laughing into your skin, he splayed his free hand over your stomach to stop your squirming and continued devouring you.
Eventually, you needed more. âAzriel?âÂ
âHmm?â he mumbled, his mouth still working.
âIf you donât take your pants off right now, I might die,â you said, your voice breathy.
He finally took his mouth off you, leaning his head back and laughing louder than youâd ever seen from him. The sound was deep, filling the room. It made your heart swell.
Sliding off the bed, his eyes laser focused on you, he said âI suppose I canât allow that, can I?âÂ
He held your gaze as he slowly slid his pants off. When he was naked before you, he stalked towards you, his eyes predatory.Â
You gulped, trying not to show how surprised you were at the size of him.
Azriel was smirking, more smug than youâd ever seen him. He placed his elbows on either side of your head, hovering over you. âWas there something you wanted?â he teased as you wrapped your arms around his neck, trying to pull him closer, but he wouldnât budge.
You scowled at him and he grinned. âYou know what I want,â you groaned.
He cocked his head, feigning ignorance.Â
âYou were so much nicer before,â you mumbled, still trying and failing to pull his muscled body on top of yours.Â
Leaning his lips down so they were hovering just over yours, he whispered, âI want you to say it.â
Your mouth fell open. âI canât,â you squeaked.
He smirked. âIâm your mate. You can tell me anything.â
Sighing, you looked to the ceiling, unable to look him in the eyes. âI want you.â
âYou already have me,â he said, lightly nipping at your throat. âWhat do you want me to do?â
âAzriel.â
He laughed lightly. âOkay, fine. Iâll just have to take a guess then.âÂ
Before you could respond, he slid into you, groaning as he did so.Â
He leaned his forehead against yours, forcing you to look up at him. He gave you a moment to adjust to him, saying âDid I guess correctly?â
Biting your lip, you nodded and he grinned.Â
âReady for more?â
You groaned in response, unable to speak.
Slowly, he started moving in and out of you. The two of you moaned in unison.
He groaned, âYou feel --â
âSo good,â you finished, and he let out a breathy laugh, moving his hips faster.Â
Azriel was gazing at you with so much love and affection as he was moving in and out of you, you could barely breathe. You placed your hands on his cheeks and pulled him into a kiss. He smiled against your mouth, his breathing ragged.Â
You couldnât believe you had eternity to do this with your mate.Â
---
Azriel did not leave your bedroom that day. Frankly, he never wanted to leave it again.
He knew he probably couldâve kept going long into the night, but he could tell that you needed a break, so the two of you had settled against the pillows. You were now asleep, your head on his chest, your fingers lightly gripping his waist.Â
His heart swelled as he lightly ran his fingers through your hair, savoring the feeling of being in love and having you close to him.Â
He never wanted to let go.
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Girl Iâm eating up every story you wrote and i love them so much haha
Are you taking requests đđ
Thank you SO MUCH, that makes me so happy! đ„°
I am truly honored and would love to take requests! Send them in! đ©·
(I'm new at this though, so bare with me lol)
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