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florestmoon · 2 years

Note

What about an Eddie fic inspired from the songs august-cardigan-betty trilogy from Taylor Swift? Absolutely tragic but with a happy ending. (cause my heart can handle angsty angst but cant handle sad endings) 😭😭

OH MY GOD. I saw this and dropped all the drafts I was working on, and couldn’t stop typing away. This is for the swifties </3 this idea. Mwah! Thank you ! This may not be the happiest ending as I struggled with it but I tried lol <3

Warnings: Angst. Angst. Angst. Hurt/some Comfort. Implications of cheating. Breakups. Swearing. Eddie being a total fucking idiot. Rekindling a friendship/relationship. Sort of? Open ending.

“I saw them together.”

It felt like the air had been knocked from your lungs, throat constricting as you tried to swallow down the biting ache that racked through your body. Tears stinging in the corner of your eyes as robins voice continued to bleed in your ear, hands white from gripping onto the phone tightly.

Robins voice wavered, the way it always did when she was on the verge of breaking into her incoherent rambles. “He—at the party last night. Me and Steve caught them, in the kitchen and, it was a split second but still—I’m sorry y/n, I had to tell you. And—“

The name Augustine blurring along with the small details that Robin pushed out. The same name that was introduced to you when a new girl moved into town. Someone who quickly made her spot in Hellfire’s club when she arrived.

You could only mumble a small okay to your friend, quickly thanking her before ending the call that had destroyed your whole being.

The silence that followed was deafening. You couldn’t tell if Robin’s retelling of Eddie’s infidelity was worse than the emptiness that greeted you as you stared into the darkness of your room.

You glanced at your bed, the sight of the white cardigan that Eddie bought you months prior, when Hawkins was still suffering from the harsh winter. Everything hit once you numbly laid down and pulled the soft material against your chest.

The smell of Eddie’s cologne and the smoke that marked his scent breaks the dam, your sobbing cutting through the silence of the room.

He tugs the sleeve of your cardigan up your arm, other hand brushing against your skin, drawing lazily with his fingertips. You stare down at the textbook, trying to ignore the light kisses that followed where his fingers had marked.

“You’re distracting me.” You mumble, giving in to glance at the doe like eyes already boring their way into you. Regretting it immediately when his lips push into a teasing smile.

“So my plan is working.” He hums, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you close, between his legs and against his chest. “I thought I would have to throw that textbook out the window.”

“I would have grabbed another one..” You giggle when he nudge your cheeks with his nose, his huff tickling against your chin. “And smacked you with it.”

“Ohhh so we playing dirty now?” He gasp, tugging on a piece of hair. “I’m up for the challenge.”

“Oh shut it.” His hands are pushed off your waist and you reach forward for the textbook he managed to kick away with his foot. “You realize we both should be studying for Ms .O’donells final.”

“Do we have to?” He groans, hiding his face against your shoulder. Eddie tugs on a loose thread on your cardigan, wrapping it around his finger as he enjoys the sound of your voice.

“Yes we do! We made a promise that you would graduate this year, and begin looking into colleges with me.” You poke his head.

“Who will accept someone who had to repeat senior year two times?“ he sighs, allowing you to turn around in his arms and face him.

“Come on, my grades aren’t that great either Eds. My GPA isn’t exactly that of a honor student.”

“Then why are we even stressing over it?” He watches you. “You been wearing yourself thin over this stuff. I mean, seriously. You told me that you didn’t care about any of that college crap before.”

You shrug, looking down at your sleeves as his voice softens. “Your parents again?”

That tugging sensation that accompanied the thoughts of your parents and their plans they placed on you, coming back. Eddie cups your cheek as he notes this. The gesture encouraging so you nod.

“They keep bringing up these fancy universities that I already know I won’t get into.” You sigh and lean against his chest. “I don’t even think I want to get into them.”

“Then what do you want?” He asks softly. “You, not your parents.”

“I don’t know.” You sniff and bask into the warm embrace of his arms wrapping around your body. “I just want to be good enough for them .Not be seen as second place to my sister. For them to not look at me as the usual disappointment they think I am.”

Eddie arms tighten around you and he scoffs next to your ear. “How many times do I tell you that you are not a disappointment? And to stop comparing yourself to your sister.” He smooths his hand down your side.

“It’s hard when it’s all they do.” You groan into his chest. “She’s their favorite. And I’m..just there. It’s been like that my whole freaking life. Always second, never good enough, never the favorite—“

“Hey.” He makes you look at him. “I know this probably doesn’t sound as comforting, considering my reputation, but-“ he pinches your cheek. “You’re my favorite. Always will be my favorite girl.”

You stare up in awe and blush. He continues. “Your parents are clearly idiots and don’t see what a gem you are. Alright? I don’t want you letting their comments get to your head.”

You nod allowing him to bring you in a hug again, the sweet compliments and praises he washes over for the rest of the night push away all those insecurities that’s been built through out the years.

His whispers against your ear and kisses along your skin warming you up more than the cardigan wrapped around you.

“Please.” Eddie begs. His foot blocks your attempt to shut the front door in his face, ringed fingers gripping onto the edge of the door frame as he lets out a shaky breath.

“It was just a kiss.”

“Just a kiss? Wow.” You hiss, trying to push the door closed again. “You’re fucking unbelievable.”

“It was a fucking mistake!” He scans your face, trying to catch anything that wasn’t pure hatred that you threw at him. “I-i wasn’t thinking clearly, I was drunk.”

“Oh. Because that makes things any better.” You say bitterly, looking down at his sneaker. “Move your fucking foot.”

“Jesus. Please just listen to me, we can talk about this.” The panic in his voice and eyes was evident. “I was a fucking idiot ,a-and I never meant to hurt you and- and —“

“But you did. You did hurt me, Eddie.”

It was hard to keep your voice steady, the strong expression you had kept up for most of the confrontation was beginning to falter. Your bottom lip began to shake as a few tears escaped. Eddie expression drops.

“Were you ever going to tell me?” You sniff. Eddie remains silent and you scoff. “Or were you going to act like nothing happened? Like you didn’t do exactly what I was afraid of the moment you brought her into the club.“

You push the door open and push him back, glaring at him through the tears. “You lied. You gave me all this bullshit that I was your favorite girl, and that I was the one for you. All these fucking lies and I believed you. I believed every stupid lie you fed me.”

“They weren’t lies, I was never lying!” He shouts back. “I meant everything I said, I still do. You are the one for me y/n—“

“Then why did you kiss her?” You look between his eyes. “Tell me then. If any of it was true, why. did. you. kiss. her.”

Eddie opens his mouth but clamps it shut again, grimacing as he finds himself unable to answer.

“I’m sorry” He whispers, voice breaking. “I’m so sorry baby. I don’t know what I was thinking.” He pressed his face against his balled up fist in a pained expression. “I’m so fucking sorry. Let me fix this. Ill do anything. I’ll fix this, I’ll fix us. Please.”

“You can’t.” You shake your head wiping away your tears in anger. “There’s nothing to fix. There’s no us anymore, Eddie.” His name comes out shaky as you cry. “Okay?I’m done.”

Eddie own expressions breaks as he lets out a sob of his own, your words beginning to sink in. “Don’t. Please don’t do this. I can’t lose you.”

His tears only pushed at your anger, he wasn’t the one that was hurting from this. You weren’t the one that cheated, the one to break many promises. You weren’t the one that broke a trust that took so long to build, acted on urges that stabbed at the insecurities that were buried with kisses and declarations of love.

All those kisses left on your skin now leaving a burning reminder, a ghost of a tattoo, of the heart ache that you were sure wasn’t going to go away. No matter how many years passed, it will always linger. Forever haunting you as you try to forget what you and Eddie had.

Because that’s all you were left with now, memories and heartbreak. There was no longer kisses that would make things better, stopping the bleeding that came from deep scars, not when the boy behind them was now the sole reason for why you were breaking apart right now.

That didn’t mean you didn’t want it though. A kiss that would make everything better, but you could only stare at Eddie continued to cry in front of you. His eyes pleading and begging, hands shaking as he tries make eye contact.

You swallow down that lump in your throat and grip onto the door handle tighter. “It’s over Eddie.”

He tries to speak but you cut him off before he could continue to make excuses.

“You need to fucking leave. Now.” You step back into your home, ripping your eyes away from his torn expression. “I don’t want to see you again.”

“Y/N, no please—“

The door slams shut.

It felt like the whole floor was ripped from under him. A dark hole swallowing him whole ever since you closed the door in his face that night. The unanswered calls and your avoidance only sinking him deeper into the hole he made for himself.

It was a mistake. That night at the party, he was so out of it and didn’t know what he was doing. He wasn’t even suppose to be at the party but a quick call from Gareth, mentioning that a few students wanted to buy drugs and he was the only known dealer in town.

He should have denied, but the stress of graduation being around the corner and his grade in Ms. O’donells final still being unknown got to him.

Eddie wouldn’t have been surprised if he failed again, that graduation stage being something he simply wasn’t meant to walk on. But the only thing that made him care about that idea and the disappointment that would have followed if he didn’t, was you.

He wanted to graduate for you, to make you not be disappointed that you’ll have to wait and stay another year in Hawkins just because Eddie couldn’t stop being an immature fuck up.

That’s all he was. But you still saw through that and stuck with him. You knew him in a way that no one else did, or will ever. And what did he do?

He did what he was best at.

He fucked up. He let his worries and stress of being good enough get to him, took that excuse to drink and he royally, incredibly fucked up. He ruined the one good thing in his life and he didn’t know how to deal.

Graduation went by fast, he did end up graduating surprisingly which only made him feel worse, and he hasn’t heard from you. Summer begin and he didn’t know what to do anymore.

He thought maybe if he tried to get glances of you throughout town, driving by your home on random night, he could get the courage to try to speak to you again. But when he did, he was met with a sight that broke him.

It was known you were friends with Robin, so it shouldn’t be too surprising that you would begin hanging out with the blonde. But Steve Harrington? The sight of you two together, hanging out at the local diner was all it took for his hope to be demolished.

The fact that you both looked great together. The preppy and rich boy look that Harrington carried around went perfectly well with your cute sweaters and soft demeanor. Not contradicting like it did with his band tees and metal look.

Even if you always did remind him that you loved it, saying how happy you were with him.

He began torturing himself by walking down familiar streets, Hawkins plaza being a common spot for you both to hang out on slow weekends. His eyes staring down at the cobblestones that made up the side walk, slowly making his way to the hide out. Maybe a few beers will help.

He came to a stop when he nearly ran into a street lamp, groaning as he rubbed his shoulder before noticing a yellow sticker that was loosing its color against the metal pole.

“—and 86’ will be our year baby!” Eddie drunken speech has you giggling, gripping onto the street lamp and spinning around it. The light gives a clear view of the white cardigan that was snug on your figure,his leather jacket thrown over your shoulders as extra protection of the cold that was early February.

Both of the outwear clashing against each other, different in the aesthetics but he loved it. He loved everything about you, especially the way some strands of hair fell over your face as your spinning came to a stop.

Drunken amused expression gazing up at him, standing beneath the street light that wasn’t anything compared to how bright your smile was.

He upped his dramatics, wanting to keep your eyes on him.

“Hawkins will be no longer!” He shakes his head, hair falling out of the lazy ponytail that was held up by your scrunchie. “Me and My royal highness will be leaving behind this shithole and onto a kingdom she deserves!”

“And where exactly will this kingdom be at?” You ask, hugging the street lamp and looking at Eddie with wide puppy eyes. The hopeful expression you throw at him beats the feeling the alcohol in his system was giving him.

He places a hand above yours on the metal pole, on top of a bright yellow smiley face sticker, leaning in and whispering. “You tell me where. Name a place and I’ll take you there in a heartbeat. ”

Your eyes soften as his voice dips into a deeper genuine tone, no longer the dramatics that was Eddie’s overall personality. A tone that was only ever shared between you both.

You ponder then shrug.

“Anywhere.” You answer, smiling and reaching for his hand. “I don’t care where, as long as you’re by my side.”

His heart soars at that and a grin spreads across his face. Unable to hold in that giddiness that only you could give him, he bends down and grabs your waist, throwing you over his shoulder. Your shouts and complains echoing across the empty street.

“Anywhere it is!” He shouts over your laughter. “Once you graduate—“

“We, idiot!”

“ I’m going to take you far far away from here. Away from these peasants. But first..” he hiccups and realizes how empty the street actually was. “We need to find my van. Where the hell are we?”

“I thought you said it was parked this way, Eds!”

“Hey!” A voice calls out, snapping him out of the memory that was making the emptiness in his heart more prominent. He turns to see a car roll up and recognizes the face. “Well, hi stranger.”

Augustine smiles up at him, arm prepped on top of the rolled down window. How the hell did he let that smile reel him that night? It didn’t have the soft edges that yours did, it didn’t bring any type of feeling to him what’s so ever.

“Why the hell are you walking this late at night?” She asks after he only responds with a tense smile, looking down the street.

“Van broke down.” He says, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

It was a lie. He couldn’t handle the smell of your perfume that lingered, the trinkets you put on the dashboard, or your ghost in the passenger seat. The mixtape he made for the both of you to listen to was still in the cars stereo.

“Well shit. That sucks.” She laughs and bites her bottom lip. Her eyes hopeful. The look strikes him that she must have remembered that drunken night, a full memory for her while his was hazy. Bits and pieces he hated thinking about.

She takes in the defeated stance and sits up straighter, hoping her encouraging smile can lift him up.

“Cmon Eddie, get in. Let’s go for a drive.”

He stares back at her for a moment, ready to dismiss and continue his way to the hideout. But then he thought of you and Steve, the match made in heaven, and he finds himself resigning. Hoping this could fill the hole in his heart.

You didn’t think the pain could be any worse than it was, but apparently you were once again wrong. Summer went by agonizing slow. The full time job you got at Scoops Ahoy was the worst decision you could make because it meant having to endure seeing Eddie and Augustine together.

The first time it happened, they had walked into scoop ahoy right a few minutes shy of it closing. Augustine’s loud laughter forcing you to stand up straight, stomach churning when Eddie made eye contact with you.

He seemed as surprise as you were, it was the middle of July and it’s the first time you both ran into each other since graduation.

They looked..perfect together. Augustine always had that rocker vibe to her, something her and Eddie bonded over when she first sat at the lunch table. Their taste in music were the same, they dressed the same. They looked perfect together.

Augustine had a fierce look in her eyes (that would make anyone tense up if she glared at them, something you were jealous of) as she glanced between you two, expression dropping for a split second.

A look of sympathy, or even pity, crossing her expression as she threw you an awkward smile, before she began asking for one cone. Eddie remained silent, never tearing his eyes off you as you replied with your customer service voice, shakily taking his money.

You gave her the ice cream cone and he finally attempted to say something, but before he could fully say your name— Steve came bursting through from the employee room and glared daggers at him.

“Sorry, we’re about to close so you can’t eat in here.” He practically hisses, grabbing you by the shoulders, squeezing them in comfort and lightly pushing you towards the break room. “Can you take the trash out for me?”

You wasted no time to take your exit, leaving Eddie and Steve to their weird stare down. Maybe you cried in the bathroom instead of taking out the trash, but Steve made no comment on it. Driving you home and comforting you the way he has been the entire heartbreak.

July slowly rolled into August, then August transitioned into September. It went by like a breeze for Eddie, his days full of drug deals and doing whatever he could to forget about the missing piece in him.

He thought he could pull himself out of that hole if he simply kept himself distracted the whole summer. But it didn’t do jack shit, because he found himself standing in your front porch, with a hope that he could change this ending that he caused.

The sound of loud laughter, music and multiple people talking over each other can be heard from his spot.

Dustin had let it slipped that Robin was throwing a surprise party for you the day before, somehow the kid still wanted to be around Eddie despite the rest of hellfire not being able to look him in the eye yet. He asked what for, but Dustin went quiet and continued to focus on the campaign they were planning.

He knocks on the door and steps back a bit, willing his body to stay. Would you tell him to fuck off the moment you saw him? Jesus, that was the only way this could go but he had to try.

The door swings open and that familiar whiff of your perfume hits him. If he hadn’t cried his eyes dry the entire summer, he may have teared up at the comforting smell. Your hair was shorter, he notes. He always loved the way it framed your face when it was short. It’s been so long since—

“Eddie?” Your smile drops the second your eyes landed on him. His heart twists at that.

“Hey..” he licks his lips and clears his throat, glancing past your shoulder then at you. “I..uh can..can we talk?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” You continue to stare at him with no expression, seeming ready to shut the door again but he holds his hand out.

“I know. I know you told me you didn’t want to speak to me, or even see me again but.” He lets out a bitter laugh. “Shit y/n. You don’t understand how hard this has been for me—“

“For you.” You deadpan. “Yeah I really can’t imagine how this could hard for you.”

He frowns and shakes his head. “You haven’t spoken a damn word to me since May. You ignored my calls, had your mom tell me to basically fuck off whenever I came by, you didn’t let me at least try-“

“No.” You step out and slam the door shut behind you. “Eddie. You are not going to put this on me. This is your fault. I’m not the one that cheated !”

“I know! You don’t think I fucking know that?” He rubs his face and let’s out a strangled cry. “Fuck. I’ve been beating myself over it since it happened. It eats me alive. Day and night. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done and I wasn’t thinking clearly that night and I know that doesn’t excuse what I did, but I need you to understand that if I could change what I did, I would do it in a heartbeat. Because losing you—“

He removes his hands from his face and looks at you, your own expression beginning to break. “God, losing you—it’s breaking me. Tearing me apart.”

“Good.” You hoarsely state, crossing your arms and staring down at the ground. “You deserve it, Eddie. You deserve to feel this way.”

Eddie swallows hard and watches you. “Can you ever give me a second chance?”

You begin to shake your head and his heart breaks, his desperation taking over. “Please, why can’t you at least let me try to fix things?”

“Because there’s no coming back from what you did, Eddie. I don’t give two shits about your apologies okay? I’ve moved on.”

“What?” He bitterly laughs, “to fucking Steve the hair Harrington? That preppy asshole we use to hate? “ Your expression twist in confusion and he continues, voice rough dripping with venom. “I saw you all around town with him, all summer. Christ y/n, I never thought-“

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. A choke laugh escaping as you stared at Eddie in bewilderment. “Are you serious right now? You want to give me shit when you been out and about with the same girl you cheated on me with!”

He stammers as you poked his chest roughly. “I can’t believe you had the nerve to come here, begging for forgiveness when you been fucking her all summer.”

“It meant nothing.” He admits, gripping onto your wrist. A few tears rolled down your cheek as you try to pull away. “She doesn’t mean anything to me. I only did it so I could try to forget about you. All those nights..I only thought about you, you wouldn’t leave my mind. She’s not you.”

“I dreamt of you all summer, you know?” He sniffs. “God, I couldn’t even sleep in my room for weeks because you left some of your stuff there. Had to sleep in the couch and Wayne was pissed. Shit, the old man wouldn’t stop asking about you. Kept reminding what a dumbass I was, I thought he missed you more than I did—“

A broken laugh is all he gets from you and he continues. “But no. I missed you like crazy, and..and I mean it when I said I would do anything. Even for you to at least..talk to me? Or to look at me. I can’t handle you not being in my life anymore. And I don’t care how long it takes to build the trust again.”

“I’ll keep trying. Because that’s all I need, I need you to let me at least try. Even if it’s just for us to be friends again.”

“Friends?” You frown.

“Yes. Jesus, you were my best friend. And I miss having you around, I miss making you laugh, I miss hearing you voice pestering me every damn day. I miss everything. I miss us. And I’ll sell my damn soul to be able to get it back.. Shit, I’ll sell my guitar!”

You cry and go weak in his grip, letting for your chest to shake as you let out the tears that never seemed to run out. “God. You fucking idiot. I should fucking hate you Eddie Munson.”

He silently watches you and you get the courage to look up at him. “But I just..can’t. I guess I can never fully hate you.”

“y/n..” he whispers and you close your eyes, a few tears squeezing out. The apologies didn’t do much to soothe the ache in your heart, but you couldn’t deny you had missed him too. The summer was horrible without the usual late night rides you both would go on.

Something crashing in your room brings you out the small moment, Robins rambled apologies bursting the bubble.

“Eddie.” You start, looking back at your home and you frown, the party you seem to have forgotten coming back in mind. You get lost in thought then utter. “There’s no way we can fix things now. We just can’t.”

“Come on. ” His grip tightens. “There has to be, right? It may take a while and it’ll be fucking hard, I know I destroyed a lot but we can take it slow and, and..“

The look you threw him has him trailing off, his eyebrows furrowing as he tries to understand why you looked so..resigned. There’s a few seconds before you finally find your voice.

“I’m leaving Hawkins.”

Eddie feels as if he was drenched in cold water. He freezes, processing your words and can only stare blankly as you continue.

“I got accepted into a university.” You chuckle dryly. “Surprisingly.. but uh yeah. Managed to snatch a scholarship and everything. Go me.”

The surprise party suddenly makes sense—Dustin’s avoidance of his question.

“But..you hate the idea of college.” His mouth feels dry, stuffed with imaginary cotton that makes it difficult to even speak. “You told me that you were planning to tell your parents about our plan—how we..“

We were going to leave together. He wanted to say but the sharp look you gave him made it die on his tongue.

“Yeah well things change, apparently” You glance at him then down at the sleeve of your sweater. “Besides. It may not be the way I wanted to leave but..I don’t have anything that makes me want to stay.”

You have me. He trembles, everything finally setting in. It wasn’t fair for him to say that though, because the reality was— he had you but he ruined it. He thought he lost you before, but this was a whole new level of pain he wasn’t sure he could live with.

He thinks of the fact that it’s the first week of September and takes a deep breath. “When?”

“Tomorrow.”

Fuck.

“Oh.”

He has a distant look in his eyes and you stay silent. You had hoped you wouldn’t have to say goodbye, didn’t think he deserved one after everything. The kicked puppy look being another reason why you were ready to simply leave and not look back.

“Guess I’ll just keep missing you then.” He says finally, voice wavering as he silently cries. Tears streaming down his face as he tries to force down the complete heartbreak.

“And I’ll keep waiting.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, unable to look at him anymore. “Don’t. This is why I didn’t want to do this.”

“I’ll wait. You may not come back, but I’ll wait.”

“Stop, Eddie. Don’t do that to me or yourself—“

“I love you. You know I love you, and you know I’m never going to feel this way for someone else so I’ll wait—.”

“I knew you. I knew you, Eddie.” you look back at him and sigh. “Things are different now. We both know that.”

The door opens suddenly and Robin drunken grin transforms into shock, and she rambles. “Oh shit—uh, I’ll..uh, sorry! Jonathan was going to take pictures but—I’ll leave you guys alone or actually, no? Y/N, do you need..help?”

You shake your head and glance at the blonde. “No it’s fine, I was heading back inside right now.”

She clamps her mouth shut and nods, glancing at Eddie then disappearing behind the door. He’s unable to stop crying even you look back at him and glance back down. Unable to make eye contact.

“I should go.”

None of you move at first, the ghost of a goodbye hovering over you both. The inevitable end that you both desperately wished was different, finally making itself known.

You welcome it first, giving him one last smile and softly saying.

“Goodbye Eddie.”

He’s forced to watch you hesitate for a split second before turning around and pushing yourself into the home. Closing the door in his face for the second time.

He stares at the door for a few agonizing seconds before breaking down in your door steps, realizing that you telling him to simply fuck off would have been better than this.

You closed the door and press your forward against the wooden panels, trying to ignore the bleeding that seeped through reopened wounds.

The scars lingering, small what ifs already plotting their place into the back of your mind as you force yourself away from the door, away from Eddie—and back to the party.

—

December 1988

“Eddie! I need you out in the front?” The raspy voice of his insufferable boss, Ted, brings Eddie to roll out from underneath the car he was working on. He lets out a few curses as he sits up, setting down the tools and shouts back.

“I’m busy here, Ted. You deal with it. Didn’t you want me to fix this car before tomorrow morning?”

“I have an important call.” Complete bullshit. “ I have a customer that needs help with her car so get your ass out there.” The older male yells before he makes his way into his small office. He throws his head back and sighs. Of course.

Wiping some grease off his hands, he makes his way out from the back of the shop. He focuses on a certain spot on his wrist as he chirps out, “Fear not, Eddie’s here to fix whatever-“

He stops when he looks up, ready to greet the customer who was facing the other way with his easygoing smile when he’s hit with the sight of a white cardigan. Your head twirling around and his breath catches in his throat, a pathetic sound coming out as a result of it.

Eyes equally as wide, you take in Eddie’s appearance. The dirty blue jump suit hanged off his waist. Grease was not only staining his clothes, but his hands and arms. His hair was still long, something that you couldn’t help but admire, and it was pulled into a half bun.

“Eddie?”

“Y/N?”

You both gawk at each other before you finally tore your eyes away and laugh awkwardly. “Wow. I was kinda hoping I had more time before bumping into you.”

“You’re back.” He states once the shock begins to fade, taking in your appearance. The cardigan is what really floored him. You still had it all this time? He often stayed up at night thinking about whether you kept some of his belongs the same way he did.

One of your forgotten things— a sweater never left it’s place from his closet, never washed in fear that it wouldn’t smell like you again. He often was to afraid to touch it or take it out, afraid he cigarette stained fingers would ruin it.

Eddie continued to stare at you and you smile sheepishly, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “Yeah. I’m back.” You chew your bottom lip and shrug. “Hawkins bad luck proves itself again though, my car died right when I got here. Luckily i noticed that there was something new in town..”

You glance around the shop and hug yourself. Eddie stun silence is finally broken as the mention of your car.

“Right. Your car.” He clears his throat. “Uh I’ll check that out for you. Probably the battery or something—“

“Most likely. It’s a piece of junk.” You scoff looking back at your car and kicking one of the wheels. Eddie glances at it and shrugs.

“Nothing compared to mine though.” He whistles, feeling himself began to ease into the light atmosphere. His nerves still had hands trembling.

You snort and follow him to your car, popping the hood open for him and leaning against the car as he begins to check it out. You allow yourself to look down the street, breathing in the cold air and the sight of Hawkins.

Eddie checks the battery. “Jesus how old is this thing?”

“I don’t know.” You raise an eyebrow when Eddie shoots you a look. “What! I’ve never been a car person, you know this.”

“Well I can get you a new battery, the problem is..” he sighs and looks at you. “I’ll have to order one. With how old this piece of shit is—“

“Hey!”

“And it’ll probably take a week.” He finishes, throwing the rag over his shoulder and closing the hood. You groan and slump against the vehicle.

“Great. First day here and I can’t even make it all the way to my house.”

“I can drive you.” He quickly says. “My shift ended 30 minutes, that dickhead just loves having me around so much.”

He rolls his eyes and you can’t stop your own smile from growing. A small pang of hope etching into his chest at the sight. He forgot how much it warmed him up inside. The cold breeze of December had no match against it.

You think for a moment then look back at your car. “You better still have that ugly van because I need space for my suitcases.”

Eddie gasps in offense and holds his heart. “Ugly? You use to say you loved my van?”

“Oops. Secrets out.” You grin before unlocking your trunk and pushing a bag into his arms.

“I honestly thought my ears were playing tricks on me when I heard him yell your name.” You muse, watching the trees become a blur out the window. “Because Eddie? A mechanic?”

“Wayne knew the guy.” Eddie explains, trying not to focus too much on the fact that his passenger seat was finally filled again. “Wouldn’t quit until I agreed to work there. It was easy to learn though.”

“Huh.” You shake your head and laughs. “Wasn’t expecting that at all.”

“What? You thought I would be selling drugs my whole life? Besides, no other place wanted to hire me.”

“No.” You frown, sitting up. “That’s not what I meant. I just mean…I guess I expected you to be gone.”

“Gone?” He throws you a questioning look.

“Yeah like..eventually you would have left Hawkins. Maybe decide that corroded coffin would play somewhere else that wasn’t the hide out.”

Eddie goes quiet at that and you get the courage to look at him. His face was soft, sadness swimming in his eyes. “I told you I would wait.”

You’re struck with that conversation that occurred two years ago. Two years since you forced yourself to leave and attempted to forget your first love, and your first heartbreak. A lump grows in your throat and you stare at the road.

“I meant what I said.” He says sadly. “You may have thought I was just saying that. That it was lies but. I waited. Even if I wanted you to leave and be happy, I still wanted to wait. Just in case.”

“In case I came back.” You mumble. “And I did.“

He slows down to a stop in front of your home and you stare at the front door, exhaling. “You know..I didn’t think I would ever miss it. Hawkins. But I did, couldn’t stop even if I was in some expensive school in New York.”

“Are you on winter break?” He asks cautiously, the mention of college making him realize how temporarily this is. “When are you going back?”

You go quiet. He cuts the engine and waits, watching you as you look at him with a half smile.

“I’m not. I dropped out.”

“What?”

“You were right Eds.” Eds. Fuck he missed that. “College isn’t for me, I only did it for my parents and I realized in the beginning of my second year that I couldn’t stand following whatever plan they set out for me.”

“But you wanted to leave Hawkins no matter what—“

“You did too.” You cut in, getting defensive. “You also wanted to leave once, but still stayed. Even when I told you to not do that to yourself. So we’re both idiots who never really left their hometown huh?”

He swallows, not really knowing what to say at first.

“I’m taking it that you dad had an aneurysm.” He half jokes but it hits. You laugh, music to his ears and lean back against the seat.

“Oh yeah. That phone call was not pleasant. I’m sure a lecture is waiting for me.” Your smile is easy as you roll your head to look at him. “I can hear it now. Hear them saying that I proved them once again that I was the family disappointment and my sister would never do such a thing—“

“You’re not a disappointment y/n.” Eddie stops you and your voice gets caught in your throat, struggling to not let the tears brim from the look he throws at you.

All those memories of the same comforting words, the same adoration in his eyes whenever he held you and whispered the same words in your bedroom. It came rushing back and you had to refrain yourself from asking him to kiss things better.

Sure, maybe you healed from the initial heartbreak. But that didn’t mean it didn’t leave a scar, and you were afraid you might break if you continued to be in his presence, and ask him to kiss that scar. To trace it with lazy drawings of stars and sweet whispers.

“I should go.”

Eddie looks away, the same words from two years ago haunting him again, and nods, gripping onto the steering. He lets go to follow you to exit the van, grabbing some of your suitcases and helping to carry it to your porch.

He readies himself for the goodbye you will throw his way, confirmation that this small interacting will be all he will get.

But he didn’t want another goodbye. Not again on the same porch. He promised himself that he would wait, he did and you were back. It had to mean something. He told you that he would try. And he will.

“We still do play at the hide out.” You set down the last bag inside your home, keeping the door open with your foot and tilt your head at this. “Corroded coffin. You were right, never left that stupid bar.”

He chuckles and twirls one of the rings around his finger nervously. “Every Tuesday. Guess that’s something else that didn’t change in Hawkins.”

You blink and he rushes out before he loses the courage. “You should come see us. Tomorrow. We could use the usual critiques, you always were the one who could tell us how to be better and all.”

You hum, “Yeah. Gareth always was off with those drums.” You cough, and shrug. “I’ll see. Maybe I’ll stop by.”

Eddie shoulders deflates and nods, “Okay. Yeah, cool. If you don’t, that’s fine!” He begins stepping down the porch steps. “I’ll give you a call once your cars all ready. You know what, I can even drive it here myself. So uh yeah…”

The bye was ready on his lips, his face grimacing at the thought of going back to that emptiness of his van but you speak up. Flinching as though your mouth spoke before you thought clearly.

“I’ll be ready at 8.”

“..What?”

“Tomorrow.” You step into your home and glance back at him, your face now unreadable. “Your gigs always start at 9 right? Pick me up at 8.”

“Pick you..pick you up..right! Yeah, I’ll pick you up at 8.” He stammers, pulling a strand in front of his face as you raise an eyebrow. “That sounds like a plan. Then I’ll see you tomorrow?”

His voice is hopeful and you could only smile, having missed that boyish demeanor on him. “Yes eddie. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You close the door and sigh, leaning back against it. Hoping that you were making the right decision, hoping he was ready to make up on his promise of doing anything.

Eddie stared at the door, but instead of guilt or heartbreak that usually followed, he was met with hope. Something that grew as he walked back to his van, a bump in his step.

A hope that maybe—there could be a different ending for you and him.

#eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #Eddie munson #eddie munson angst #Eddie asks #eddie fic #Eddie #Eddie munson imagines #eddie stranger things #Eddie x reader #eddie x you #stranger things imagine #stranger things #stranger things season 4 #WAHHH

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florestmoon · 2 years

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More Than That..(Eddie Munson X F!Reader)

Summary: Being Hawkins most desired cheerleader should be a dream any girl would love to live, but you could only despise the unnecessary title and the hurt that comes with it. Luckily you have your best friend, Eddie, who reminds you that you’re much more than that.

Warnings: Hurt/comfort. Insecurities, typical teenage boy behavior, verbal insults, hint at being pressure into sexual acts, some angst but lots of comfort/fluff from Eddie. Eddie being a complete sweetheart <3

A/N: This was inspired by rewatching Cassie’s episode in euphoria lol. If you want a part 2, please send some thoughts and ideas for it, and I’ll consider it <33 as I did leave it with an open ending. it would help me as this was rushed and in the moment kind of thing, kinda a vent so I have little idea on how to go about it if I continued it.

You could feel most of the soccer teams eyes glancing towards your way as you sat on the bleachers. Hair brushing the side of your cheeks as you stare down at your knees. The green cheerleading skirt only worsened the shivers that ran up your skin from the harsh wind in late September.

Maybe Eddie will let me borrow his jacket..You thought, a soft smile appearing on your lips. His dnd campaign set for after school that day was the only thing you were looking forward to.

Even if your boyfriend—a basketball player you begin dating a few months ago that wouldn’t stop pinning after you— was beside you. His arms sliding around your waist and his eyes boring into you.

“You know, you are literally the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen..”

It took a lot of effort to not let your smile drop.

That feeling twisting in your stomach. Ryan presses kisses against your cheek, eyes glancing towards the soccer players. It annoyed you. The way his hands gripped onto your waist tightly. His need to show off like everyone didn’t already know you both were together.

“Jesus I’m so lucky to have a girl like you as my girlfriend.” He says smugly.

Some girls outside the field were watching, most likely judging the display of affection. It was annoying. Everything been annoying you these days, really.

“Really..” You ask after a moment, pulling away and brushing his hands off you. “Well what else?”

“What?” He hums distractedly, blinking at you.

“‘A girl like me’, right?” Bottom lip is tugged between your teeth as you squint at him. “Well what else do you like about me? What else makes you lucky?”

There was that slight hesitation that proved enough for you. But you stared at him, waiting patiently. His eyes flutter and his lips part, face twisting in thought.

“Uh..” he drawls, surprised by the tone in your face but he recovers. “I mean, you do have a nice rack so that definitely makes me the luckiest guy on earth.”

He laughs. Proud of himself as if he gave you the most amazing compliment ever. Maybe any other girl would have accepted it; felt flattered, cheeks burning with a blush from the ego boost.

But yours burned in humiliation. That wasn’t anything you wanted to hear.

“You’re such a fucking ass.” You hiss, grabbing your bag that was placed between you feet and shoving him away. Ryan face drops in confusion as he stammers, asking where you were going but you were already halfway down the bleachers.

Flipping him off with good measure, you enjoyed the way some of the players on the field begin laughing. It distracted you from the tears that wanted to break though, but you were not going to let anyone see you cry. You had enough attention on you, you didn’t need to give them more to talk about.

This was the thing. You weren’t all that surprised by the lewd comment, it’s all boys ever said to you since you hit puberty and gained popularity. They focused so much on your outer appearance. Sure it was nice—who wouldn’t want to be complimented on their appearance.

It was hard for you to believe it half the time anyway. The compliments always feeling empty to you.

But there’s times where you would love to talk about..something else. Or hear something else. Anything else.

It’s nice to be able to really talk to someone and be listened to.

Good thing you did have someone like that.

You walk in the dingy theatre room later that day, chaos greeting you and you can’t help but feel your mood lift.

“Look who finally arrived!” Eddie shouts, practically bouncing towards you from across the room and pulling you into a bear hug. “These sheep were getting antsy, were afraid we were going to finish the campaign with out you.”

The idea had your heart swell. The knowledge that your presence was always wanted by the club; the members always excitedly chatting your ear off when they ran into you in hallways never ceased to make you into a soft mess.

“I guess you’re the one that’s antsy now huh?” You tease, pulling away from the hug and raising an eyebrow at him. “Now that I’m here, I’m going to kick ass and embarrass you out of your DM title.”

“Low blow princess.” He whistles, rolling his eyes at your confidence. “But me? Disappointed that you’re here? Never. How dare you speak such a concept.” His grin widens, patting your head. “Who else can I count on to show the sheep how it’s done?”

“Show what exactly.” You laugh, pushing his hand away from your hair.

“Don’t get all humble on me now. You’re the fearless and bold one here, even when the games gone to shit.” He leans in and whispers. “Don’t tell Dustin, but you’re definitely the best player out of all of them.”

Your face flushes. This wasn’t from humiliation or anger for once that day. It was stupid, he was simply being his usual self. Always knowing what to say to make others feel at good and comfortable around him.

But that trait never failed to make you feel a warmth blossom in your chest. Fearless. It was small. A random comment that no one would act so crazy about but you loved it. The small things he pointed out about you, always tucked away in the back of your mind to look back on when you stayed awake at night.

It felt good. You were fearless. Even if it stemmed from your reckless decisions on a fantasy game.

“Besides, they can’t survive the last part of the campaign without your lucky rolls.” He winks then notices that you didn’t have your usual zip up sweater over your Hawkins cheer top. “Jesus, you trying to get hypothermia?”

He’s already shrugging off his leather jacket before you can explain that you forgot in your rush this morning, Ryan’s impatience not giving you any time .

It’s thrown over your shoulders. “Did you forget we are smacked in the middle of shithole Indiana and not a sunshine state? You are not getting sick under my watch—“

You sigh loudly, accepting the warmth you been craving all day. Boyfriend forgotten.

“Thanks Eds.” You smile softly and he softens, deciding to save his scolding for another time.

—

“I never once doubted how smart you are, sweets.” Eddie states confidently, seeming happy at the news of your break up with Ryan later that week.

Smart.

You snort and cross your arms, hoping the lack of light in his living room was enough to hide your bashful smile. “Not that smart. I dated the idiot for 3 months before coming to my senses.”

“What pushed it?” He finally asks. Attention no longer on the film playing on the small tv, not even the revving of leather face’s chainsaw draws his attention back.

You shift uncomfortably and shrug. The thin blanket he threw over both your laps felt soft between your fingers that’s been tugging on a loose thread.

“He didn’t..understand me, I guess?” You frown and glance to the side at him. “He was like any other asshole whose life revolves around throwing balls into laundry baskets.”

Eddie lip tugs up in amusement at your reference to his rant from days before, nodding along. You felt proud at the reaction. Encouraging you to continue so you do. It was easy to open up; to talk to him.

“I mean really, what was I thinking?” You giggle, throwing your head back against the sofa and staring up at the ceiling. “He didn’t even know who Ozzy was! Or like, never even heard of a Stephen king book! I don’t think he’s read a book at all..”

“Christ, what is up with these people?” Eddie gasps dramatically, pushing your shoulder softly. “Stephen King? Really? Do they live under a rock?”

“I know !” You groan, shoving him back which resulted in you laughing loudly at him acting like he was shot instead of your weak attempt at moving him.

“How the hell does someone not know what Carrie is?” You complain . “It’s only one of the best books ever. Stephen King did an amazing job at capturing that whole teenage girl angst, ya know?”

“Eh, I still think Pet Cemetery is his best.” He replies.

“Cmon Eds, over a book about a girl with telekinesis?”

“Sweetheart, how the hell does that beat a damn little dead kid trying to murder his family?”

“Eds, it was stupid.”

“It was hilarious!”

“Okay, but the ending of Carrie is wayyy more satisfying. Killing all her asshole classmates?” You snort, barely noticing the way you both scooted closer together and both turned on your sides to face each other. “Shit, I would too if someone poured pigs blood on me. God that’s disgusting.”

“Hm you have a point.” He grins, his eyes never leaving yours. “I heard he’s coming out with a new book this year. Suppose to be a real scary one.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, was thinking we can drive out to that one bookstore a few towns over once it releases.” He proposes, tugging his hair in front of his lips. “Some signed copies will be there.”

“Oh we have to !” You smile excitedly before rambling. “I still need to buy a copy of Cujo, but I don’t know if I like the idea of reading about a rapid dog. What if it dies in the end? Well, it is Stephen King so it’ll probably be a better ending than that..”

Eddie’s eyes continued to stay on you, head tilted against his hand that was propped up on the top of the couch; listening.

There was no subtle glances towards any other part of you. His eyes shining with genuine interest and listening. No loud sighs that would shut you up whenever you accidentally talked too much around past dates. No annoyed expression at the fact that there was space between you two.

Eddie actually wanted your presence, actually wanted to hear your stupid ideas and opinions. Days spend with him meant you could let go of this perception that was held from you as Hawkins favorite cheerleader.

He would never truly realize how happy you were with him.

Or about the crush you kept a secret. Or the fact that you accepted he would never see you in that way either. He never once acted the way other boys at school did with you, so you could only guess..he didn’t like you that way.

Which was perfectly fine, you were still happy. Knowing that you had a best friend who didn’t hold this standard to you or saw you as a piece of meat.

It was nice.

“You know..” You whisper after a moment, leaning your head to the side on the couch. Sighing, “I feel like…every guy I date is the same”

“What do you mean?” He asks quietly, worry swimming in his eyes.

“I mean..” You frown. “I keep thinking they’ll turn out to be some Prince Charming like those romantic interests in most cheesy movies. But they all turn out to be dickheads.”

“Because they are dickheads. They never deserved you.” He reassures, reaching under the blanket and grabbing your hand.

“What if you’re wrong” You say quickly, speaking before he could rebuttal. “I mean. What if it’s not them that’s wrong. It’s me? It always turns out the same. So maybe..I’m not..good enough?”

“Nope. No no no.” Eddie shakes his head quickly and shoots you a warning look. “You are not going to speak like that around me. This is crazy. Unacceptable.”

“But Eddie—“

“No buts!” He groans and rubs his face. “Seriously y/n, how can you say that? You’re more than enough. And if those assholes can’t see that. That’s on them. Not you.”

You stay quiet. He sighs and makes you look at him, tilting your chin up with his other hand.

“Look at me.” He cups your cheek. “Have I ever lied to you?”

You shake your head hesitantly and he continues.

“So listen to me when I tell you. You’re fucking amazing and anyone would be lucky to have you, to be your Prince Charming and I do not want you to be selling yourself short, understand me?”

His sternness makes it hard for you to disagree so you nod along. “Okay. Good. Gooood?” He tilts his head and throws you a look.

You giggle at that, relaxing and leaning forward to place your head on his shoulder. If only he knew how much you wanted him to be your Prince Charming.

Instead, you allow yourself to bask in the relaxed atmosphere the rest of the night, holding his hand under the blanket as you fell asleep with your head leaned against his shoulder.

—

You regretted bringing Eddie along to the Halloween party you had been invited too.

You usually hated these parties but your friends kept begging you to go. Something about everyone expecting you to be there, blah blah blah. Whatever comes with the stupid popularity you managed to grow simply from joining the cheerleading squad.

The plan was to make him some extra cash. The partygoers being too drunk or hyped on the fact that it was Halloween to care that they were buying drugs from Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson. He was hidden behind a Jason ski mask anyway so it made you more at ease that he wouldn’t be targeted.

It was also so he could be with you. By your side most of the night, even if that meant staying in the corner of the house the whole night.

But it seemed that there was someone else that was interested in him way past than the drugs he was selling. One of your friends—not really a friend, more of someone you were stuck talking to during cheer practice—had convinced him to take a few shots in the kitchen.

Her loud giggling and faint hand brushes against his shoulder pushed you to take another swing of the mixed drink in your hand. Eddie was blushing at the attention.

Eddie was no stranger to sweet talking people though, so it was no surprise to see her blush at something he said right after.

You shouldn’t be jealous, but you were. The bitter taste of vodka wasn’t enough to distract you from the sour emotion that twisted in your chest, stuck with watching the scene play out from afar.

“Nice costume.” You look to your right and spot Tommy leaning against the wall. “Camp counselor..that one slasher movie right? The guy with that huge knife.”

“A machete.” A giggle escaped you, probably a result from the many drinks you had chugged down. “Uh but thanks, not many people knew what my costume was referencing too.”

It was funny. Everyone thought you were dressed up simply as a random camp counselor even though ‘Crystal Lake Camp Counselor” was spelled out on the tight white shirt you wore, along with fake blood splatters across it. You tug down the orange shorts when his eyes flicker to your exposed legs.

“Who hasn’t watched Friday the 13th?” He rolls his eyes and takes a sip from his drink. You glance at the freckles that painted the top of his nose and cheeks. Tommy was cute, a past asshole, but still cute. He stopped messing with Eddie once you made it very clear to everyone that he was your best friend.

What he hasn’t stopped was making his interest towards you abundantly clear. The whole week had consisted of him stirring up random conversations; whether be it in classes you both shared or when he caught you in the hallway.

They weren’t half bad conversations either. Like the one you indulged with him right now, his thoughts on the Jason franchise intriguing you and you can’t help but laugh when he admits he was more terrified of Michael.

He watches you laugh and smiles down at you. “Wow, you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

The smile is completely wiped off from your face and you look down at your drink. Right. Didn’t Ryan say that too ?

“Hey-“ he interrupts your thoughts and attention on your drink. “Wanna head upstairs? Get away from all this mess and loud music. And you know..talk some more?”

You weren’t stupid. You knew what that meant. But one glance towards Eddie and the girl twirling a strand of hair between her fingers as she whispered something in his ear, made up the decision for you.

—

Maybe you were stupid.

At first you both were talking about the funny costumes you came across on the way to one of the empty bedrooms. You got a bit hopeful that maybe he really wanted to just..talk to you? His small confession about liking you for a long time only increasing that hope.

But then he began kissing you. You tried to lose yourself in the kiss, pushing Eddie to the back of your mind but he kept coming up. The question if he was looking for you right now floating around.

Eventually, his hand came up to roughly grip the back of your hair. His other hand reaching towards his belt and you pulled away, feeling disgusted.

“Tommy..” you sigh, looking away.

“Come on..” he whispers, tilting your head towards him. “I meant when I said really like you.”

“I know. I just...I feel really drunk.” You slur, wishing that Eddie was looking for you and can save you from this. You really wanted to go to his trailer and spend the night watching horror movies again. “Maybe we can hang out another time. Or even a real date. We can go—“

“Seriously?” That sweet demeanor from the past week was wiped off his face. Replaced by an ugly scowl. “Who the fuck do you think you are?”

You blink in surprise, voice coming out small. “What?”

“‘Hang out’ ?” he scoffs. “You think I’m here because I’m interested in you?”

“But..we—you been talking to me all week. I thought..”

“All I want to do is fuck you, y/n. I don’t care what you have to say or what you think about things. God. You are so fucking boring.”

Boring.

Tommy continued to glare at you, not caring for the tears that were threatening to fall. You feel at lost for words and he takes advantage of that.

“Let me completely honest with you princess. Since no one will. No guy at Hawkins is interested in you besides fucking you. You’re only the ran through cheerleader that puts up an innocent act, but everyone knows you’re a slut and are waiting up for their turn—“

You get up quickly. Heart thumping against your chest as you try to hold in the tears. You didn’t want to cry when the words were so true. Everything that you feared, that haunted you every fucking moment since you let yourself fall into the attention that came with being ‘desired’, was finally confirmed.

“—Even that freak you hang out with all the time.” This stops you in your tracks and your hand clenches around the bedroom’s doorknob. “You don’t think he’s waiting for his turn?”

Loud music greets you once you finally push yourself out into the hallway. Your feet stumbling as you ignore some looks thrown your way as you make your way towards the kitchen. You needed Eddie to take you away from here so you could cry, have him hug you and remind you that no—what Tommy said wasn’t true.

You weren’t boring right? Were you really not that interesting?

Eddie didn’t see you that way too, right?

The kitchen was empty, no sign of him. The room was feeling smaller, chest constricting as you continue to search for the familiar mop of curly hair but no sign.

Was he with that girl? Maybe they also went to an empty bedroom.

The tears were beginning to fall. Shit.

Did he leave? Forget about you?

Skin buzzing from the alcohol, you couldn’t think straight. Tommy’s cruel words and reality check repeating as you try desperately to hold in your crying.

Cold hair greets you as you open the slide door that leads to the backyard, ignoring the way many people glanced your way as you made your way towards the pool. No one was inside because of how cold it was.

They continued to stare and you hated it. Tommy was right. Did you really think you were anymore than the title placed on you? All those things Eddie said, those small yet meaningful compliments weren’t true at all.

Everyone saw you the same. Another cheerleader that guys wanted a piece of and girls wanted to be. You were so fucking tired of it. You were nothing special, you always told yourself that. But it still hurt badly.

You really needed to cry.

You don’t think twice before jumping into the pool. You didn’t care; or was too drunk to care. It didn’t matter. You let yourself sink into the bottom, wrapping your arm around your knees.

The freezing water barely registered in your mind.

You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.

God, you are so fucking boring.

No guy is interested in you besides fucking you.

You really were stupid.

Your face scrunches up as an ugly sob finally rips itself through your throat. Air bubbles floating up to the surface as you continued to let out soundless sobs. All the disappointment and shame flowing out of you, the water swallowing every insecurity as you cry it out.

Boring. Boring. God, who did you think you were? Nothing more than a fuck. Nothing more.

You weren’t special at all. Nothing more.

Something breaks the surface of the water beside you. Hands grab at your arms from behind and you’re pulled up just as your body was beginning to beg for air.

You gasp as Eddie pulls you out of the water and out of the pool, his own panicked pants mixing with yours as he holds you against him.

“What the fuck y/n! are you fucking insane? How much did you drink-“ he stops once your sobs register in his ears. Your trembling hands clutching the front of the dark green button down. “Sweetheart? Hey hey..”

You continued to cry, shaking your head. Maybe it was a good thing that every was watching. They could see that you were a fucking mess. Something else slapped onto the titles that followed you around.

“I want to go home Eds.” You sniff, rubbing at the running mascara on your cheeks. “I-I can’t, I need to go.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll take you home. We’ll go home.” He takes off the button up and wraps it around you, a desperate attempt to help with the shakes that racked your body. He pulls to stand and pushes his way to the exit, cussing at anyone that was in his way.

Eddie helps you inside his van, before quickly getting inside himself and starting the ignition. You couldn’t stop crying, painful sobs filling the van.

“Baby—sweetheart, you need to tell what’s wrong.” His hands tighten around the steering wheel, attempting to pay attention to the road and you at the same time. Voice rising in panic, “I-I need you to talk to me. Did you hurt yourself? Fuck—did someone hurt you?”

You shake your head, squeezing your eyes shut. Breath hitching as you push yourself to speak. “Eddie, you wouldn’t use me right? I’m not just somebody you’re waiting to fuck?”

Eddie’s expression breaks.

“What?“ He presses on the brake a little to hard at the stop sign. You grab onto your seat and avoid looking at his face. “What-what the fuck are you talking about?“

“I just want to make sure you don’t see me the way everyone talks about me.” You grit through your teeth, sinking into your seat.

“I—no! Jesus, no.” He stammers, a honk behind him pressuring him to continue driving even though he wants to reach over and force you to look at him. “No. I’m not using you—what?”

“Okay.”

You shut down for the rest of the ride, allowing yourself to believe him. Eddie wouldn’t lie to you. It’s the only thought that brings comfort for now. A few silent tears continued to escape.

—

“We should have gone trick or treating with the freshman.” You mumble, allowing for Eddie to dry your hair with a towel as you sat on the edge of his bed. His sweatpants and hoodie replacing your wet costume.

You sobered up a bit.

Eddie doesn’t respond to that. He kneels in front of you. His first priority was to get you to his trailer and get warm. Your shivering had stopped, along with your tears. The only sign of what happened was the occasional sniffs and your reddened eyes.

He stares at you for a while before trusting himself to speak.

“We need to talk about it.”

“Do we?” You mumble, watching Eddie throw the towel to the ground in frustration. You flop back onto the bed and cover your face, feeling guilty.

“I just want to understand.” He says after a moment. “You disappeared on me, and as I’m looking for you, I find you at last second before you try drowning yourself.”

“I wasn’t trying to drown-“ you sit up at that.

“Then, you’re fucking crying and it fucking scares me even more, I thought—shit, I thought maybe you were hurt! Then you ask me the most ridiculous questions and fucking go quiet on me.” He tugs on his hair. “Now you act like nothing happened and talk about trick or treating?”

You take a shaky breath, bottom lip quivering as you recall Tommy’s angered rant. He notes this, the anger disappearing in a second and sits himself next to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you closer to him.

“I’m sorry..I’m just trying not to cry over it again. it was stupid to do I know. Im stupid-“

“Hey.” He scolds and you rub at your eyes.

“It’s true Eddie..”

“Seriously, what happened?” He urges, grabbing your shoulders and making you look at him. “What’s making you act like this?”

A harsh laugh forces it’s way past your lips and you shake your head, feeling so stupid again. “Tommy. He..did you know I’m fucking boring?”

Eddie face twist in confusion. “What?”

“Tommy was trying to get me to have sex with him.” You close your eyes, Eddie tensing beside you. “And uh, I rejected it, told him that I was too drunk and he flipped out on me. Said a lot of mean things. That I was boring and he was never actually interested me, interested in anything I had to say..”

You snort but it transforms into a whimper. “I don’t know why I was surprised. Of course he was only nice to me at school for that. He said that every guy only is nice to me so they can get in my pants..”

Eddie grabs both your hands and rubs your knuckles gently with his finger. Eyes downcast as he sadly says, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left your side tonight. I should have been there.”

“Don’t say sorry Eds. You were having fun.” You reassure. “Besides, I needed that reality check. He wasn’t wrong-“

“You can’t seriously believe what Tommy said was true, do you? Nothing he said is true!”

“Well..” you frown and shrug. “I don’t know.maybe that’s all I got going for me. My body and my looks, nothing else? I should be happy with that, anyone would but-“ you look down at your hands. “I wish I was more.”

“You are.” He whispers, heart aching as the sight of you looking so defeated. “Jesus y/n, so are so much fucking more than that. You..you’re fucking smart, smarter than anyone I’ve met. I wouldn’t have passed any of my classes if you didn’t tutor me.”

You glance up at him as he continues.

“And those poems you’ve showed me before? their so beautifully written, no one else knows how their way with words the way you do.” Your ears burn and you struggle making eye contact.

“You’re fucking hilarious, I don’t think I laughed harder with anyone besides you. My days are made better by you simply talking to me, telling me about your day or whatever thoughts cross that mind of yours.”

“Really?” You sniff, tears escaping again. The thought that he likes talking to you as much as you did with him, you could cry all over again.

“Why do you think I force you to listen to new vinyls I buy? Because you always have a way of interpreting the music different than me. And I love hearing what you have to say about it..” he exhales and glances to the side. “Tommy’s a fucking idiot if he doesn’t want to hear what you have to say because anyone with a brain knows what a blessing it is to be around you.”

“Eddie..I..” you struggle and he shakes his head.

“The kids..they also adore you. You should see the way they look up to you. I mean, I’m pretty sure you’ve taken mine and Steves spot in being Dustin’s favorite.” He grins and brushes your behind your ear. “Even Max tolerates you.”

“Max?” You gasp. “Okay now, I think you’re going a bit too far.”

“It’s true, sweets.” He snorts. “Don’t tell her though because I dont think I can handle another skateboard thrown at me.”

“I won’t.” The tension has left your body and you looked more relaxed, playing with his rings. “But..you really think all that?”

“Yes and there’s way more I can list out. Whatever Tommy said..it’s bullshit. You’re amazing y/n. And No one can compare to you.”

You throw your arms around his neck, climbing onto his lap. He hugs you back, running his fingers through your hair as he soothes the small cries you let out.

“There is one thing I’ll say, one of the most utterly important things they’re missing out on is..” He gives you an exaggerated dreamy look when he pulls back to level your face with his.

Fingers wiping away a tear before he grins, “—Is that can make a cook up a real mean mac and cheese.”

“Oh my god.” You laugh and push his face to the side, unable to hold down your own grin spreading on your face. “Is this your way of telling me you’re hungry?”

“Maybe.” He hums, grabbing your wrist and sliding down his hand to intertwine your fingers again. You roll your eyes but lean against him. His words managed to kick away any of those ugly doubts and insecurity Tommy had managed to force through the cracks.

“Remember when you told me about how I’ll eventually find my prince charming?”

“Mhmm. Maybe he isn’t in shitty Hawkins, but—“

“He is, though.” You tighten your hand around his. “Eddie. You’re my prince charming. You’re the only person who listens to me, actually listens. And I only ever feel myself with you.”

Eddie freezes, taking it in. His face softens and he looks away. “Yeah?”

You nod. Maybe he wasn’t a Prince Charming in the way you wanted. With a barrier between a platonic relationship and a romantic one, but—

You’ll deal with that small heartache for now.

“Yeah.” A small kiss is placed on his cheek hesitantly before you pull away. Pale cheeks redden from the contact and he clears his throat.

He glances at the shy smile you throw at him, and he smiles back.

“Well uh..I will happily be your Prince Charming then.” He states once he recovers. You both stare at each other for a few seconds longer, an invisible tension growing.

He breaks the eye contact first, clearing his throat and glancing at the clock near his bedside. “It’s still pretty early. Dustin did say they were staying out until midnight.”

You grin as he snatches the ski mask that was thrown on the floor and jumps up. He holds his hand out.

“So miss camp counselor, shall we go look for those rowdy children that you should been have supervising? I’m sure their hitting the jackpot in Steve’s neighborhood right now.”

“Oh yeah, maybe we can scare them with that big machete of yours into giving us their bags of candy.” You giggle, letting him pull you up. Eddie laughs and throws his head back.

“That’s evil.” He smirks and grabs the prop machete from you. “No wonder you’re Jason’s favorite camp counselor. He’ll spare you for tonight.”

“Not exactly one anymore, I don’t even have the costume Eds.” You mention at the baggy clothes on you and whine. “Pretty sure it’s a crime to go out there just in this.”

The mask is quickly placed on your head, the elastic snapping against the back of it before he rotated the mask around. Placing it to hang off the back of your head and fixes the strands of hair he messed up.

He cups your cheeks and nods, looking content. “You upgraded to Jason now. I’ll go pour ketchup on myself and we can pretend I’m your murder victim. Should you have sliced my neck open or my stomach?”

“Idiot, don’t dirty that sweater. I bought it.” You huff,rolling your eyes. “Now cmon, let’s go before someone else steals candy from them.”

“Lead the way then, princess.” Eddie tilts his body and you laugh, grabbing his arm and pulling him with you. The excitement of eating candy and overall ease that comes with being with Eddie allowing you to forget everything that happened tonight.

—

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