forislandfires

[forislandfires]

after a productive therapy session yesterday, this sad and embarrassing thought went through my mind -

simple plan's song "perfect" perfectly (for lack of a better word) summarizes the core of who i was growing up and how i still move/interact with the world and with people as an adult

oops my millennial is showing

[forislandfires]

not me sitting here when all of a sudden, the ending to “aftersun” pops up into the forefront of my brain and i’m suddenly fighting back tears

#aftersun #movie was a slow burn #it slowly burned a permanent mark inside me #film

[forislandfires]

THE LAST OF US (HBO) PEDRO PASCAL as JOEL MILLER in 1x01 When You're Lost in the Darkness

#the last of us #tlou #joel miller #pedro pascal #he’s such a daddy

[forislandfires]

PAUL MESCAL as CALUM AFTERSUN (2022) dir. Charlotte Wells

#paul mescal #aftersun #film

[forislandfires]

Triangle of sadness | Dir. Ruben Östlund (2022)

#for a movie that had me so tense and reacting so wildly #this is a favourite of 2022 #triangle of sadness #film

[forislandfires]

TRIANGLE OF SADNESS (2022) dir. Ruben Östlund

#this movie was a fever dream #triangle of sadness #film

[forislandfires]

“Don’t you ever feel like you’ve just done a whole amazing day, and then you come home and feel tired and down, and… feels like your bones don’t work. They’re just tired and everything is tired. Like you’re sinking”. PAUL MESCAL & FRANKIE CORIO as Calum & Sophie AFTERSUN (2022, dir. Charlotte Wells)

#top favourite in a long while #aftersun #paul mescal #frankie corio #charlotte wells #film

[forislandfires]

“This photograph of Joni Mitchell skating across Lake Mendota in Wisconsin is unreal to me. I love the negative space in the photo, and how it gives the sense of total freedom.”

© Joel Bernstein, 1976

#joni mitchell

[forislandfires]

[forislandfires]

wish ppl would remember that gaslighting is a very specific form of deliberate psychological abuse meant to get someone to doubt themself and their memories and not just “someone telling me i’m wrong or disagreeing with me”

#we throw it around so lightly and apply it so loosely #I failed to see that I was being gaslit for months on end until my therapist plainly pointed it out to me recently #recently in caps #can you fucking believe it? #I had moments where I kept questioning my reality despite my loved ones trying to ground me

[forislandfires]

i hate when people say, "you need to forgive to heal/move on". no I do not. that motherfucker doesn't deserve my forgiveness + you can't forgive someone who's not sorry. they were supposed to protect me but instead they permanently damaged me. they do not deserve my forgiveness.

[forislandfires]

“Without Sister Rosetta Tharpe, we wouldn’t have rock and roll as we know it now. Her pioneering guitar virtuosity was fueled by the gospel swinging, shouting, holy-spirit energy of the evangelical church and the blues she heard on Chicago’s Maxwell Street, which crossed each other like crackling live wires in her hands – and boom, we’re at the beginning of the revolution that would later be widely and wrongly attributed, almost entirely, to the white teens and young men who emulated her. “ - Cheryl Pawelski

#sister rosetta tharpe #music

[forislandfires]

it’s hard to articulate your happiness when most of your life you’ve been made to feel there wasn’t room for you to express it, or made to believe you were living oh so miserably and oh so hopeless...

the world of difference it makes to finally be in a safe, healthy and loving place that i can finally give myself permission to be unapologetically happy.

i no longer have to look for moments where i can sigh with relief. i’ve arrived.

#healing #happiness #my flight or fight senses haven't been triggered for months #words

[forislandfires]

a few months into moving in with my partner, fun stories/moments similar to this one have become a regular occurrence. and it is one of my favourite things ever.

one of the first few times this happened was when i was up very late working away when she got up (seemingly fully conscious) and asked me what time it was. i clearly remember it being 3:30am because she responded with, “haha you mean thicc thirty” before falling back asleep as if nothing happened.

typical. making me laugh even when she’s half asleep.

apparently this morning my wife heard me make a noise in my sleep and she asked me if i was okay and i just responded with "yeah, i'm just pissed off" and promptly fell asleep again. like i was dead asleep and just fucking hating still i guess. the grind never stops

[forislandfires]

#the original wednesday addams dance move The Addams Family (1964 - 1966) Wednesday (2022- )

#wednesday #still so surreal to have been a part of this #and then mindblowing to see it blow up to the extent that it has #my inner child is so happy

[forislandfires]

when dermot kennedy said “my sense of wonder is a little tired” and when dermot kennedy said “so hold me when i’m home, keep the evenings long” and when dermot kennedy said “sorrow won’t be finding me no more” and “love is all about the wind, how it can hold me up and kill me in the end” and “this life, this love is brief” and

#everything dermot says kills me let's face it #dermot kennedy

[forislandfires]

Okay. Come on, then. I love you, get up, we are going to keep going. Repeat this to yourself in a mirror or in a whisper or in the shower or in a shout. I love you, get up, keep going.

I am tired too. It's okay. We will sleep in the car ride over. We will sleep on each other's shoulders. We will sleep upside down and in the laps of new friends and on the bellies of our lovers and in the hands of better tomorrows. We will sleep and we will wake up rested and we will wake up happy and we will wake up home again.

I love you, get up. It's time to write "maybe next time" on our gravesite. It's time to write: it could not kill me, I would not die. It's time to write a love letter to the sun and our one-act play and the history of our keychains. It is time to write a future where despite everything, we are finally warm and safe.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Get up. Keep going. We are going to be okay.

#words