i-am-a-random-bystander

[i-am-a-random-bystander]

HEY YOU YEAH YOU

DO YOU LIKE FAKE MARRIAGE STORIES?

DO YOU LIKE SPIES??

DO YOU LIKE SMOL CHILDREN WITH PSYCHIC POWERS???

THEN SIT THE FUCK DOWN CAUSE I HAVE A NEW MANGA FOR YOU

MEET SPY X FAMILY

THE MAN IS AGENT TWILIGHT, A SPY WHO HAS DISCARDED EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS PAST IN OrDER TO WORK FOR THE COUNTRY OF WESTALIS IN OPPOSITION TO THE COUNTRY OF OSTANIA

KINDA COLD WAR-ISH

HE KICKS ASS, HAS ALL THE GADGETS AND CAN CREATE MISSION IMPOSSIBLE-LIKE FACE-CHANGING MASKS

HE’S THE KINDA GUY YOU REALLY DON’T WANNA FUCK AROUND WITH

FOR HIS NEXT JOB HE’S GOTTA TAKE OUT A POLITICIAN WHO ONLY COMES OUT IN PUBLIC FOR HIS SON’S ELITE SCHOOL REUNIONS

AND TO INFILTRATE THAT AGENT TWILIGHT IS GONNA NEED

*DRUM THE FUCKING ROLLS*

TO ADOPT A KID!

THIS IS ANYA

SHE SMOL

SHE CUTE

SHE A RUNAWAY CHILD FROM AN UNDERGROUND EXPERIMENT THAT GAVE HER THE POWER TO READ PEOPLE’S THOUGHTS

SHE MAY HAVE HORNS, ANTENNAE OR JUST A BOW, I’M NOT SURE

SHE LEARNS TWILIGHT IS A SPY AND TRICKS HIM INTO ADOPTING HER AND THUS BEGINS THE FAKE!PARENT AND CHILD SHENANIGANS WITH A HEALTHY DOSE OF CUTE BONDING

CAN YOU FEEL THE DIABETES YET

BUT THE SCHOOL ALSO REQUIRES MEETINGS TO BE WITH BOTH PARENTS, SO TWILIGHT NEEDS TO FIND A WIFE

THUS ENTERS YORU BRIAR

SHE’S A 27-YEAR-OLD OFFICE WALLFLOWER

SHE’S AN ORPHAN WHO RAISED HER YOUNGER BROTHER ON HER OWN

SHE STICKS HER LEGGY UP REAL FAR

SHE’S ALSO A HITWOMAN UNDER THE CODENAME “THORN PRINCESS” WHO ESPECIALIZES IN KILLING LOADS OF PEOPLE WITH HUGE NEEDLES AND CAN PUNCH YOU SO HARD YOU’LL THANK HER

(SHE’S STRONGER THAN TWILIGHT TOO)

WHEN SHE LIES TO HER BROTHER ABOUT HAVING A BOYFRIEND TO GET HIM OFF HER BACK, HER BROTHER INSISTS IN MEETING THE MAN PERSONALLY AND WILL EVEN REJECT A JOB PROMOTION UNTIL THEY MEET

AND SO THESE TWO CASUALLY MEET AND WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM ANYA, WHO FINDS OUT YORU IS A HITWOMAN AND REALIZES HAVING A SPY AND A HITWOMAN FOR PARENTS WOULD BE ENTERTAINING AS ALL HELL, THEY DECIDE TO FAKE A RELATIONSHIP TO HELP EACH OTHER’S GOALS

TWILIGHT WILL PRETEND TO BE YORU’S BOYFRIEND TO GET HER BROTHER OFF HER BACK

YORU WILL PRETEND TO BE TWILIGHT’S WIFE SO ANYA CAN GET IN THE ELITE SCHOOL

BUT BECAUSE THE POLITICAL CLIMATE IS SO HEAVY WITH SUSPICION AND PEOPLE ARE BEING FALSELY ACCUSED TO BEING SPIES ALL THE TIME, THEY DECIDE TO FAKE-MARRY FOR REAL, JUST TO APPEAR LIKE A NORMAL COUPLE AND THROW SUSPICION OFF THEM AND THEIR RESPECTIVE SECRET JOBS

BUT JUST UNTIL THEY MEET THEIR GOALS RIGHT GUYS

THERE’S DEFINITELY NOT GONNA BE ANY REAL FEELINGS DEVELOPING OR ANYTHING RIGHT GUYS

YES THAT IS A GRENADE PIN TWILIGHT USED AS A WEDDING RING GUYS

AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE ACTUAL, GREATEST THING IS? NOBODY KNOWS THE OTHER PARTY’S SECRET

TWILIGHT DOESN’T KNOW YORU IS A HITWOMAN

YORU DOESN’T KNOW TWILIGHT IS A SPY

NOBODY KNOWS ANYA IS PSYCHIC

ANYA KNOWS EVERYTHING BUT PRETENDS NOT TO SO SHE CAN HAVE A FAMILY

IT’S SUCH A STUPID, HILARIOUS CLUSTERFUCK THAT WILL BLOW UP IN GOD KNOWS WHICH WAY AND I CAN’T FUCKING WAIT FOR IT

THUS FAR THERE’S TWO CHAPTERS OUT, 50 PAGES EACH. IT RELEASES ON THE MANGAPLUS APP BI-MONTHLY WHICH IS A LONG WAIT BUT OH GOD SO FUCKING WORTH IT

AND I HOPE THIS POST WILL CONVINCE MORE PEOPLE TO READ IT AND KEEP IT RUNNING FOR MANY YEARS TO COME

[i-am-a-random-bystander]

[i-am-a-random-bystander]

[i-am-a-random-bystander]

all queer history on here is just US-American or maybe sometimes some UK history as well and it makes me sad that there’s so little information about other countries’ queer history on here :(

[i-am-a-random-bystander]

Exotic Weapons rules for D&D 5e, homebrew by the_singular_anyone  / reddit

[i-am-a-random-bystander]

A rent and mortgage freeze would be a perfect response to the pandemic.

Tenants would be able to go longer without working because their biggest expense wouldn't exist.

Landlords would lose money from not collecting rent, but they'd save money by not having to pay their mortgage. They wouldn't be able to profit but they'd still be able to survive. Also, landlords who have already been struggling to find tenants or get their tenants to pay rent would benefit.

Banks would still get their money, but it would be delayed by maybe a year. They're rich. They can wait a little longer to get paid.

And all of that could happen without spending a single cent of taxpayer money.

So why didn't it pass?

[i-am-a-random-bystander]

reblog if you think polyamory is valid

i need to prove about 10 thousand points to my parents

[i-am-a-random-bystander]

Etsy is somehow being even worse, do not click etsy ads

Etsy is now forcing shop owners to be part of their ads. We can not opt out.

To anyone who buys from etsy: DO NOT EVER CLICK THEIR ADS

They are rolling out a program where if you get a sale from an ad they put out, they’re taking 12-15% of the profit(probably on top of the like, 5%ish+ they already take). Even worse, if you have clicked an Etsy ad in the last 30 days ANYONE YOU BUY FROM ON ETSY IN THAT PERIOD WILL BE BILLED THAT FEE. 

So please, if you see an ad for something you like off etsy, do not click it. Just go on etsy and search for it.

This is somehow worse than what storenvy used to pull. 

Please go directly through an artist or see if they have their own storefront (I use bigcartel) instead of purchasing off etsy. And if you must, just please, please, never click an etsy ad.

[i-am-a-random-bystander]

Do you have any weird facts about birds?

Magnificent Frigatebird birds exist & look like this

[i-am-a-random-bystander]

[i-am-a-random-bystander]

[i-am-a-random-bystander]

The ONLY WAY to combat the lack of funding in arts education is for professionals to take a few hours a week to share their skills for FREE, to empower and encourage the next generation of artists. THIS IS WHAT THE INTERNET IS FOR. Here’s 200 tutorials:

How to draw ANGRY EXPRESSIONS How to draw BATTLE DAMAGE How to draw BIRD HEADS How to draw BOOKS How to draw BOTTLES and GLASSES How to draw BOXES How to draw BREAKING GLASS How to draw BRICKWORK How to draw CABLES and WIRES How to draw CAR CHASES How to draw CATERPILLAR TRACKS How to draw CAVES How to draw CHARACTERS (3-SHAPES) How to draw CHARACTERS (FLIPPED-SHAPES) How to draw CHARACTER SHAPES How to draw CITYSCAPES How to draw COMIC COVERS How to draw COMPOSITION   How to draw CONTRAST How to draw CONVERSATIONS How to draw CREATURE TEETH How to draw CROSS-CONTOURS How to draw DETAIL AT DISTANCE How to draw EARS How to draw FABRIC How to draw FEET & SHOES How to draw FEMALE HANDS PART ONE How to draw FEMALE HANDS PART TWO How to draw FLAGS How to draw FOOD TRUCKS How to draw FOREGROUND MIDGROUND BACKGROUND How to draw GAME BUILDINGS How to draw GEMS and CRYSTALS How to draw GHOSTS How to draw GIRL’S HAIR How to draw GOLD How to draw GRASS How to draw HAIR (1940s styles) How to draw HAIR IN MOTION How to draw HAPPY EXPRESSIONS How to draw HEAD ANGLES How to draw HOOVES How to draw HORNS How to draw HORSE HEADS How to draw IMPACT DEBRIS How to draw IN 3D How to draw INTEGRATING LOGOS How to draw INTERIOR BASICS How to draw IN-WORLD TYPOGRAPHY How to draw JUMPS How to draw JUNGLE PLANT CLUSTERS How to draw JUNK HOUSES How to draw LAMP POSTS How to draw LAVA How to draw LIGHTNING and ELECTRICITY How to draw MECHANICAL DETAILS How to draw MUSHROOMS and FUNGUS How to draw MONSTER HEADS How to draw MONSTER TENTACLES How to draw MONSTER TRUCKS How to draw MOUNTAINS How to draw NEGATIVE SPACE How to draw NEWSPAPERS How to draw NOSES How to draw OVERGROWN VEGETATION How to draw PEBBLES AND GRAVEL How to draw PERSPECTIVE BOXES How to draw PIGS How to draw PILLOWS and CUSHIONS How to draw POD HOUSES How to draw POURING LIQUID How to draw ROBOT ARMS How to draw ROCK FORMATIONS How to draw RUNNING FIGURES How to draw SAND How to draw SAUSAGE DOGS How to draw SEA WEED   How to draw SHADOW COMPOSITION How to draw SHOULDER ARMOUR How to draw SIEGE WEAPONS How to draw SILHOUETTE THUMBNAILS How to draw SMALL FLAMES How to draw SMALL, MEDIUM, LARGE How to draw SMOKE EFFECTS How to draw SNOW How to draw SPACE BIKES How to draw SQUIRRELS How to draw STICK FIGURES How to draw SWORD FIGHTS How to draw THE HORIZON How to draw TIKI STATUES How to draw TREASURE CHESTS How to draw TREE BARK How to draw TREE ROOTS How to draw USING THE SHATTER TECHNIQUE How to draw VEHICLE STANCE How to draw VINES How to draw VINTAGE PLANES How to draw WATER How to draw WOODEN HOUSES

[i-am-a-random-bystander]

I’m sure it’ll be soon. Until then know that you’re amazing and badass, and that we all love you.

(>•_•)> internet hug minion

I can’t wait until I get top surgery and can lay down in bed without Mjölnir sliding down my boobs against my throat painfully but rather have it laying down on my flat, bare chest and skin.

[i-am-a-random-bystander]

I once recited the exorcism rite from supernatural at a guy who was bullying a homeless man. I figured if he was going to act like a demon I should treat him like one. He noticed me after a couple lines and punched me, so that didn’t work very well.

What is the weirdest way you have deflected/discouraged street harassment?

[i-am-a-random-bystander]

Questioning my sexuality

I’m a cis guy, I’ve thought I was straight most of my life but lately I’ve been really uncertain. I know I’m attracted to women, but lately I’ve met trans men and trans women who I’ve been attracted to as well, and I have a genderfluid friend who I find cute when he’s male and when she’s female.

My confusion comes from the fact that I’ve never found a cis guy attractive, and most of the people I’ve mentioned have features that lean towards the feminine side. Am I straight and just picking up on those “feminine” aspects? I’ve also read about the heteroflexible label, but I’m still not sure if that’s me.

I’m sorry if this makes me sound ignorant or subconsciously bigoted, I’m just trying to understand. Does anyone have any insight they could offer me? Thank you to anyone who answers.

#lgbt #lgbtq #pride #sexuality #straight #am i straight? #am I not straight? #heteroflexible #hetero #not straight #trans #please help #advice

[i-am-a-random-bystander]

Always single poly here. All my friends are attractive.

Send help

Reblog if you’re polyamorous, support polyamorous people, or think polyamorous people and relationships are valid

[i-am-a-random-bystander]

JUST LET ME BE.