incorrect-quotes-splatoon
Incorrect Splatoon Quotes
A collection of personal favorite incorrect quotes from Splatoon characters.Submissions always welcome. Just be sure to say where the quote is from.
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*Agent 4 returning to Squidbeak HQ after losing a trail on Octavio’s whereabouts*
Marie: So, did you catch him?
Agent 4: *sigh* No, he got away.
Marie, sarcastically: Really? I figured some random perp would be no match for the world’s greatest detective. Oh, wait no, THAT’S BATMAN!! And you’re not Batman… You will N E V E R be Batman…
4: HEY, F*** YOU!!
Marie: …
4: …that, uh, cut surprisingly deep. Well played.
Source: SAO Abridged by SomethingWittyEntertainment
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*at the new squidbeak HQ, Neo Agent 3 is looking around on the floor*
Captain 3: Is…everything alright, Agent 3?
Neo 3: No, I can’t find Little Buddy.
C.3 : Did you see where he went?
N. 3 : Actually… *holds up a tray with three small doors* He’s behind one of these three doors! Why don’t you pick one?
C. 3 : Are you trying to Monty Hall me? It’s unbelievable. I don’t need Monty Hall ruining my place of work when Monty Hall is already ruining my home life!
Agent 4: C’mon, Captain, the math thing isn’t the problem. Agent work is keeping you and 8 apart. You two need to bone.
C. 3 : …what did you say?
N. 3: Don’t say it again!
A. 4: I said you two need to bone.
C. 3: How dare you, Agent 4! I am your superior officer!!!
*5 minutes later*
C. 3: Bone!!!
*10 minutes later*
C. 3: What happens in my bedroom is none of your business.
*21 minutes later*
C. 3: BONE!?!?!?!
*40 minutes later*
C. 3: Don’t ever speak to me like that again.
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Agent 8: Pearl-
Pearl, sighing: ‘Rina used to call me “Pearl”…
Agent 8: Because it’s your fucking name.
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IS ANYONE ELSE’S TARGET SELLING THE CALLIE & MARIE AMIIBOS AGAIN????????
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IS ANYONE ELSE’S TARGET SELLING THE CALLIE & MARIE AMIIBOS AGAIN????????
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Once Agent 8 completed all of the trials in the Metro, she was finally strong enough to take on Tartar. And it didn’t take long for others to realize her strength…
Agent 3: Okay, what the hell am I sensing?
3: Is that the Octoling? Is that me?? IS THAT ME STRONGER THAN ME!?!? I’LL F***ING KILL ME!!!!!
Source: Dragon Ball Z Abridged
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How are you guys enjoying your jobs so far?
“Huh? Why are there so many letters down here? What does this one say… How are… you guys enjoyin’… your j-… Hey uh… Rina? You did turn off the asks while we were gone right?”
“…”
“Y…You did, right?”
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Once Agent 8 saved Inkopolis from destruction, Agent 3 promptly returned from the hospital after her battle with 8.
Agent 8: Hey 3! I was wondering how you’ve been.
Agent 3: I broke 47 ribs and busted 12 of my kidneys…I have three months to live…
Agent 8: ….that…u-uh…a-are…are people supposed to have that many?
Agent 3: Uh, no. I am absolutely horrified, and the doctors are completely perplexed.
Agent 8: Well, damn. Sending positive vibes your way!
Agent 3: Yeah, thanks!! You saying that actually healed me…I-I’m healed now…because of that….thanks.
Agent 8: Don’t mention it! :)
Agent 3: I will not…
Source: JuJutsu Kaisen Abridged by The Schmuck Squad
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(After the Great Zapfish was returned, again, and Callie returned home, Agent 4 and Marie still had some time to spend together)
Marie: Thanks for hanging out with me, 4. This was a really nice evening.
Agent 4: Okay, what the hell is going on? Ever since we brought Callie back home-
Marie: Which we both agreed never happened!!!
4: Right! Of course! But ever since, absolutely nothing happened that one time, you’ve been acting like… I don’t know, like you’re not completely disgusted with my presence anymore!
Marie: 4, I don’t like where this conversation is heading…
4: I mean really! A year ago you looked at me like I was something you scrapped off the bottom of your shoe. But now? I don’t know what to think!
Marie: I’m serious, 4. Drop it.
4: Like, what? Do you like me or somethi-
*Marie points the business end of a charger in 4’s face*
4: Haha, right! Thank you for clearing that up! That was very concise…
Marie: Good! Now let’s party up for a while. wouldn’t want anything to happen to you…
4: Aaaand we’re back to square one! What do you want from me!?!
Marie: JUST PARTY UP WITH ME!!!
4: Okay, okay, be cool. We’re all friends here.
Marie: See? Was that so hard? Friggin drama queen.
4: You put a charger in my face!! I’d say this is an adequate amount of drama!!!
Marie: Oh please, it’s not the first time I’ve done that.
4: THATDOESN’TMAKEITBETTER!!!!!!!!
Source: SAO Abridged by Something Witty Entertainment
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(Agent 4 on a stakeout, with Marie narrating on headset)
Marie: …because in a game of life and death: you either live, or you die.
Agent 4, sarcastically: Oh wow, such insight. It’s so deep, it loops right back around to being stupid…
Marie: The kid ranted to no one, dawning on just how lonely he truly was.
Agent 4: Wait, what was that?
Marie: He asked the sky, like a preacher to a silent god.
Agent 4: What gods? What are you talking about?? It’s all bullshit metaphors with you.
Marie: He cried, not knowing the difference between a simile and a metaphor. The tiniest of his brain dwarfed only by the tininess of his di-
Agent 4: I’m switching the headset off, Marie…
Marie: YoucansilencemebutyouCANTSILENCETHETRU-
*click*
Agent 4: …dick
Source: SAO Abridged by Something Witty Entertainment
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btw the thing she couldn’t ignore was someone calling her out for saying anti-depressants/hormone therapy are only perscribed by lazy doctors
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(After the events of the Octo Expansion, tensions were still a bit high between Agent 3 and 8)
Agent 8: Is this how you treat everyone who saves you? I can just feel the gratitude radiating off of you. Like a warm Summer breeze wafting through the meadow…that Bambi’s mom was shot in…
Source: SAO Abridged by Something Witty Entertainment
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(Pearl and Marina, in the middle of a turf war)
Marina: Don’t worry Pearl, I’ve got your back. With the two of us, our love can conquer anythi-
*Booyah Bombed*
Pearl: Ughhh, the power of love is bullshit!! The power of swords and violence, that’s where the money’s at…
Source: SAO Abridged by Something Witty Entertainment
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(At Tentakeel Outpost)
Agent 4: Hey, Marie! How goes the training?
Marie: I don’t know, let’s see. Hey, 3!! Do you want to train with me?!
Agent 3, in the distance: F*** off!!!
Marie, turning to 4: About that well…
Agent 4: Oof, only two syllables, huh? Lemme go talk to her.
(On the other side of the outpost)
Agent 4: Hey, 3…
Agent 3: Rgh…
Agent 4: I heard you lost your battle with Agent 8 pretty badly…
Agent 3: RGHHH!!
Agent 4: But you know what they say. When you fall off the horse, you get back up, and you eat that horse!! Come eat that horse with me, 3!!
Agent 3: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON ABOUT!?!?!?
Source: Dragon Ball Z Abridged by TeamFourStar
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Agent 3: (in the middle of a fight with octarians) You see, there’s no need to wonder where your god is. ‘Cause she’s right here!!
…and she’s fresh out of mercy…
Source: SAO Abridged by Something Witty Entertainment
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