incorrectquotesdatabase

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“I don’t follow rules. I follow dogs on social media.”

-Person A, Probably

#incorrect quotes #source: vine

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Person A: What? I’m not that aggressive! Person B: Last Tuesday, you whacked me with a pair of crocs and stole my chocolate chips? Person A: Survival of the Fittest, bitch

#EDITED so now its Funnier(tm)

[incorrectquotesdatabase]

[Robber pulls a gun and says “gimme all your money!”]

Person A: Noooo don’t shoot me haha you’re so sexy

Person B, already crying: [throws their silver money clip and sprints off]

Person C: pwease mr obama,,

Person D, pulling out their own gun: On The Contrary,

#incorrect quotes #source: original

[incorrectquotesdatabase]

Person A: Do you mind if I slyly mention that you’re single?

Person B: Do not do that.

Person A: You won’t even notice!

Person C, entering: Person A, you wanted to see me again?

Person A: Person B’s single

Person B:

#incorrect quotes #source: brooklyn nine nine

[incorrectquotesdatabase]

Police: You're under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.

Person A, with Person B and Person C behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?!

Police: Yes...three.

Person A: Oh, my God— What the fuck!?

Police: Wha-

Person A: PERSON D FUCKING FELL OFF

#incorrect quotes #source: twitter

[incorrectquotesdatabase]

Person A: This is your fault, Person B! I’m gonna pluck you out, melt you down and make a fucking necklace!

Person B: Yeah, I probably deserve it...

Person A: Oh wait, shit, you don’t make this fun cause you’re sad

#incorrect quotes #source: real time fandub #source: sonic 06 fandub #source: real time fandub games #source: snapcube

[incorrectquotesdatabase]

meme template

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Person A: Do you take constructive criticism?

Person B: Not without crying

#incorrect quotes #source: twitter

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Maybe the true treasure was friendship all along. But I hope not, because I can’t spend friendship on new clothes

-Person A, probably

#incorrect quotes #source: griffin mcelroy #source: polygon

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It's so addictive, right? I play so much that when I close my eyes at night, I just see Tetris cubes instead of my normal dizzying array of flashing lights.

-Person A, probably

#incorrect quotes #source: brooklyn nine nine #THIS IS A CALLOUT POST @ ME

[incorrectquotesdatabase]

Person A: met a dumbass today, awful

Person B: You looked in a mirror?

Person A: someday you will have to answer for your actions and god may not be so merciful

#incorrect quotes #source: tumblr

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Person B, you’re a twink. I’m gonna go smoke some weed now.

-Person A, probably

#incorrect quotes #source: real time fandub #marijuana #weed mention #IM SORRY BUT THIS WAS SO GOOD

[incorrectquotesdatabase]

Person A: My life is an endless cycle of pain and loss

Person B: Uh...you okay?

Person A: I had cheese in the fridge but the fridge wasn't plugged in and my cheese went bad and now I have no cheese.

#incorrect quotes #source: totallycorrectbatimquotes #source: tumblr

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When I'm feeling really fancy, I'll make popcorn on the stove instead of in the microwave.

-Person A, probably

#incorrect quotes #source: queer eye

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Person A: I'm sorry to tell you this but you have a heart, and capacity to feel.

Person B: You take that back.

#source: whiskey cavalier #submission #incorrect quotes #YALL OP TAGGED THIS FOR ME #THATS SO NICE IM YELLINGG #omysteampoweredheart

[incorrectquotesdatabase]

Person A: Or, we do this the old-fashioned way!

Person A: [pulls out a molotov cocktail]

Person B: How did you make that so fast?!

#incorrect quotes #source: the good place #thanku for the submissions!!! theres so many i love u all #gendervoidkillua #submission

[incorrectquotesdatabase]

[skipping stones on a pond]

Person A: it's such a beautiful evening

Person B: *whispering* take that you fucking lake

#incorrect quotes #source: twitter #gendervoidkillua #thank u for the submission!!!’ #submission