kleineshexenkraut

[kleineshexenkraut]

Yo! How have you been? I just finished Tensei shitara slime datta ken and am currently losing my whole mind over Guy Crimson's entire everything. Since you're the only person I know who started watching it (do I remember right?) I've come to rant at you. That asshole had no right to be so well animated while invading Rimuru's personal space but thank god they didn't animate him biting his ear like he apparently does in the manga, because I would not have been able to handle it in the slightest

(Feel free to rant at me about anything that's on your mind in return, it's only fair)

Hi! I'm well, thank you for asking! :D How are things on your end?

Ah, I watched the first season and then got distracted by other series. Couldn't help but take a peak at the last episode now and wow...that's quite the ham-handed innuendo. Seems a bit weird and ill-fitting from what I saw in the first season. Even though the plot is basically like a platonic harem-story. Emphasis on platonic, so again, weird.

(As for rants, just too many plot-bunnies and not enough spoons to bring them to life. *sigh*)

[kleineshexenkraut]

#bleach #kenpachi zaraki #my gifs

[kleineshexenkraut]

#bleach #kenpachi zaraki #my gifs

[kleineshexenkraut]

#bleach #kenpachi zaraki #my gifs

[kleineshexenkraut]

After the idea about SQQ as co-parent for Yachiru by @rarepears and others, I can't help craving something like Liu Qingge and Kenpachi entering a relationship without realizing - aka the world's most clueless idiots in love.

(Just in case, very mild NSFW under the cut. Minors dni.)

Imagine:

Both are sparring regularly and go on hunts together, they become good friends who bond over their fighting skills and love for it. And since Kenpachi needs a place to stay, he's offered a room in Qingge's house. Things progress, their interactions are the cause for massive gossip and scandals. The two fight-crazy idiots never hear a peep of the rumors, no one dares. They don't sleep in the same bed or have sex yet, but what they do is a lot more intimate than some of the less outrageous gossip implied.

They do almost everything together:

eating; hunting; sparring; training the disciples; they regularly give each other gifts (as in dropping monster-carcasses into each other's lap; Qingge gifts wine/sake and Kenpachi gets him tea); Qi-infusions (Kenpachi did say this was taboo where he's from, but doesn't have a problem doing it.); they bathe together (that was and is embarrassing for Qingge, because communal baths are not a thing where he's from, but it's convenient); give each other massages (hunts and fights are taxing on the body); they spoon each other for warmth when they camp out on a hunt/mission; they often communicate non-verbally like an old married couple

After all of this went on for a good while both separately realize they have feelings for the other. Clumsy wooing attempts follow. But since everything they can come up with (like gift giving) is stuff they already did anyway neither one gets it. The baths and massages get a lot more awkward, though. Until one of them is finally blunt enough that the other couldn't misinterpret it even if they tried really hard.

Or alternatively:

Liu Qingge is the more clueless one. Kenpachi thinks they are a couple, he doesn't know how being in a steady relationship works, but what they have is what he always imagined it should be. Kenpachi would've liked sex, but got the impression Qingge isn't into it in general – so that's how it's going to be.

Until Liu Qingge can't (and won't) deny or hide what he's feeling anymore. Finding out that the man he tries to court was already his significant other is a pretty embarrassing discovery, though.

#story idea #svsss crossover #bleach crossover #liu qingge #kenpachi zaraki #writing prompt #crack treated seriously #mild nsfw #svsss #bleach

[kleineshexenkraut]

#bleach #kenpachi zaraki #my gifs

[kleineshexenkraut]

Okay, you remember the Shinigami Illustrated Picture book's 'No Bankai!' during cleaning incidents rules, yes?

Look at Mayuri's glorious shame-face:

Now tell me what you think the embarrassing object was. Please! XD

#bleach #mayuri kurotsuchi #funny stuff #lets see how many answers are similar

[kleineshexenkraut]

The Theory of Sweetness

Warnings: none

Pairing: none

Fandom: Bleach (gasp!)

Summary: Seireitei’s rumor mill has a question about the captain of the 11th. A brave Stealth Force member attempts to learn the answer.

A/N: Yes, I know this isn’t who I usually write for, but sometimes old flames you figure were gone just come barging back into your head while you were trying to write a long fic about someone completely different. This idea came about after chatting with @kleineshexenkraut about our beloved Kenpachi in this thread. I hope you enjoy this silly little fic!

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Weiterlesen

#bleach #zaraki kenpachi #yashiru kusajishi #story #funny stuff

[kleineshexenkraut]

Pffft, lol, please do write that! XD

Had a long, funny brainstorm session over another post in the comments and there was a similar idea to people dropping outside the bath/bedroom because the eye-patch came off. Failed spy-mission would be awesome, more so if there are two completely different perspectives.

-Spy sneaks closer, skillfully avoiding everyone, scoffing at the abysmal guarding of the 11th's grounds. "How can they be so carele..."

-Eye-patch comes off for the bath - sudden massive increase of Reiatsu. Spy drops, face down ass up. "In..sane...counter...measures! Agh!"

-Kenpachi unthinkingly does his routines, goes to sleep. The AoE moves away enough for the spy to recover slowly. Not fast enough to accomplish what he came for. OTL "What secrets does he cover up?"

Kyoraku would probably know too, considering he was comfortable enough to have spend at the very least one drinking night in the 11th.

But imagine how irritating that would've been for Tosen to stand beside him. The days with (drool added) mint- or fruit-smell are the worst, it's impossible to ignore the bastard! Why is this a thing?

Ah, I will always thirst for gossip scenarios! The more outrageous the better! XD

Yeah, the Shinigami Women’s Association attempting to take photos of famous Shinigami was funny. But did you all actually pause the rapid sequence to look at the pictures Yachiru got them in detail? Because you missed out if you didn't.

[kleineshexenkraut]

I'd also say it depends on the person. Although more along the line of - how often do they have to be around him?

The Seireitei is very much not well connected in terms of getting to know people from other divisions better. There's gossip, sure, but that can be more of a negative often enough. So, unless they see Yachiru very openly hitching a ride, many might not immediately remember that Kenpachi has a little kid around. And then from a little bit further away the strange sweet smell could be initially mistaken for something else - blood. Very disconcerting in peaceful times.

Someone catches a slight whiff. "OMFG, he smells of blood! Who did this lunatic cut up now?! But...I don't see any blood. Wait" *sniff* "There's something odd about that." *sniffsniff* "Nooo, can't be! Does he smell like lollipops?!" o__O

Haha, yeah. The middle part is also kept closest to his head, so this would even make hilarious sense.

Oh, no, not the top bell! Hardest to get out! XD

Yeah, the Shinigami Women’s Association attempting to take photos of famous Shinigami was funny. But did you all actually pause the rapid sequence to look at the pictures Yachiru got them in detail? Because you missed out if you didn't.

[kleineshexenkraut]

@girlwiththepapatattoo #.............okay but that one with Byakuya has me thinking#how often does Kenpachi have to wash candy#and candy residue#out of his hair?#even after he stops wearing it in spikes#actually...#does Yachiru start hiding candy in his mane once he starts wearing it down?#that poor man rofl

What if the typical smell of the fight-obsessed, crazy guy everyone constantly describe as demon is a combination of soap, whatever laundry detergent they use (maybe, depending on the time of day, fresh sweat too) and wet candy? How confusing would that be for whoever gets close?

For real, though, sugar-water has been used as hair-spray and glue for a long time, especially before actual hairspray-formulas. Is spiking it up with soap a less embarrassing lie? Would he have noticed added sugar-drool when it was spiky? Or was it just a convenient touch-up?

What if the spiky hair-do was the result of having to find a (relatively) dignified way of getting strands of hair glued together every day anyway? Having kids is hell... XD

Yeah, the Shinigami Women’s Association attempting to take photos of famous Shinigami was funny. But did you all actually pause the rapid sequence to look at the pictures Yachiru got them in detail? Because you missed out if you didn't.

#back to more bullshit about kenpachi again #can't help it apparently #sorry not sorry

[kleineshexenkraut]

Yeah, the Shinigami Women’s Association attempting to take photos of famous Shinigami was funny. But did you all actually pause the rapid sequence to look at the pictures Yachiru got them in detail? Because you missed out if you didn't.

#bleach #funny stuff #love how pissed Mayuri looks #the GTFO!-speech is palpable #and Kyoraku peacefully drooling on whatever surface he's lying on there is gold #wonder why Kira looks so shocked though #is it because he's afraid of Kenpachi #or still traumatized by Rangiku's picture session earlier #after that a camera with Kenpachi attached must be nightmare fuel

[kleineshexenkraut]

Gotta appreciate a character who interrupts lengthy villain-monologues!

The annoyed boredom after one-shotting a foe is just the cherry on top. Excellent! mmwah - *chef's kiss*

#bleach #kenpachi zaraki #funny stuff #tw: violence

[kleineshexenkraut]

Oooh, nice, thank you for the recommendations. Started watching tensei shitara slime datta ken. The slime is really cute!

Ah, didn't watch One Piece to the point where the last two came in. But both sound very cool.

Will put Golden Kamuy on my list too, I need more fodder. XD

(Forgot another good series, Samurai 7. Can always recommend that one too.)

Hi. :3

Since we were talking about anime/manga anyway, are there any series beside One Piece you can recommend? Also, since I forgot to ask earlier, who is/are your favorite One Piece characters?

And here's a little list of some series I enjoyed. Maybe there's something in there you like.

Monster

Guardian of the Spirit

Mononoke

Mushishi

Natsume Yuujinchou

Dorohedoro

I've watched mononoke and mushishi a couple of times, and dorohedoro has been on my watch list for a while.

I usually don't like recomending things because I feel I don't know people's tastes enough, but if you're asking which series I've watched a thousand times and will watch a thousand more then K Project is up there (just the first season. None of the movies and the sequels, I didn't like those)

I don't want to recomend ongoing animes, but right now I'm a fan of golden kamuy, and the last season comes out this year.

I can also recomend boku dake ga inai machi (I think it was writen like that?). It's objectively good.

And Madoka Magica

And if you like fantasy I watched the first season of tensei shitara slime datta ken, and I found it way more pleasant than I expected. It's funny and lighthearted and has some action to keep things interesting

And my favorite one piece characters are the entire main crew (sans Sanji), Fujitora (the only marine I can respect) and Katakuri (because he's cool as shit). There's quite a few more that I like a lot, but those are my absolute favorites

#talks #series recommendations

[kleineshexenkraut]

Parallels between Zaraki Kenpachi and Oni in folklore

Some of Zaraki Kenpachi's character design, namely the influence of the skeleton-monster(s) Gashadokuro, has been nicely explained in this post.

His Bankai, in which he almost literally transforms into an Oni, is obvious as well. But apart from this (and characters throughout the story outright referring to him as demon/monster) there are even more parallels that run through his design from the very beginning that link him to Oni in general, especially the ones depicted in theater, and one in particular – Ibaraki-dōji. To address all the similarities we need to first take a closer look at this legendary Oni.

Ibaraki- dōji is a famous figure in folk tales from the Heian Period with adaptations in Nō and Kabuki theater. The name may refer to the town Ibaraki in Osaka and has interesting resemblance already, at least phonetically. Zaraki (更木 ) has the meaning 'New Tree' and Ibaraki-doji (茨木童子 ) means 'Thorn Tree-Child'.

As for the tale itself I will copy some of the text from the Wiki-article (though shortened), and link the site so you can read the more in depth version:

The picture above is "Watanabe no Tsuna meets Ibaraki-dōji at Modoribashi Bridge." Ukiyo-e print by Utagawa Kunisada.

Ibaraki-dōji was the most important servant of Shuten-dōji whose gang was based on Mount Ōe. The damage caused by Shuten-dōji's gang was so large that Minamoto no Yorimitsu and his subordinates went to exterminate them. Dressed as mountain priests they pretended to request lodging and successfully got to Shuten-dōji's stronghold. That evening, they roused up a drinking banquet and Shuten-dōji became so drunk that he was unable to move. He and his Oni were all exterminated. However, Ibaraki-dōji, when fighting with Watanabe no Tsuna, saw Shuten-dōji get killed, and not wanting to die, retreated, and was the only one who was able to flee.

There are several versions about what happened after this. In some Watanabe no Tsuna cut off Ibaraki's arm in the battle, in some this happened at another date.

Tsuna showed the Oni's arm to Minamoto no Yorimitsu. Yorimitsu consulted with an onmyoji who told him to confine himself in his house for seven days and not let anyone in the house for that time. Several days after that, Ibaraki-dōji tried to invade Tsuna's estate, but due to the power of Sutras and a talisman, Ibaraki-dōji was not able to enter.

Finally, on the evening of the seventh night Tsuna's aunt, Mashiba (there are also versions where it was not his aunt, but his foster mother) came to Tsuna's estate. Tsuna told the circumstances, and said that his aunt definitely cannot come in, but the old aunt grieved, "from a young age, I raised you with great care, and my reward is this kind of treatment?" and by that, Tsuna disobeyed his instructions, and let his aunt into his estate. However, his aunt was, in reality, Ibaraki-dōji in disguise. While still in his aunt's appearance, Ibaraki-dōji expressed desire to see the arm that Tsuna cut off from the Oni, and after carefully looking at the arm taken out of its seal within a box, suddenly turned back into an Oni's appearance. Ibaraki-dōji, holding the arm, flew up in the air, and disappeared in the distance in the sky.

In this gif you can see Ibaraki-doji, played by Nakamura Tomijūrō V, in a Kabuki-play. Zaraki's hair-style during TYBW has a striking resemblance to the way Oni-hair looks in these plays. The markings on his face in his Bankai-state as well.

That he lost his arm in the fights and got it back afterwards is another neat little thing that can be linked to the folk tale. Even his brow-ridges kinda look similar to the style Ibaraki is portrayed in.

The varying background-info on Ibaraki makes things even more interesting.

For one, there is no clear consensus on whether Ibaraki-dōji is male or female. In some stories they are male and the deputy of Shuten-dōji, however, most stories and illustrations depict Ibaraki-dōji as a kijo, a female Oni, and Shuten-dōji's lover. This duality might be reflected by Yachiru/Nozarashi, who is as Kenpachi's Zanpakuto-spirit a part of his soul.

The assignment of gender-specific characteristics to the sword-spirits is quite fascinating. Most have the same as their wielder, but there are exceptions, such as Kyōraku's Katen Kyōkotsu; Renji's Zabimaru and Kenpachi's Nozarashi. If someone wants or needs to find a more in depth reason to make either of these characters gender-fluid or trans, this could certainly be a neat angle.

Another excerpt from the Wiki: 'In the Settsu-theory it says: 'Ibaraki was born with fangs and long hair and a glint in his eye, and power that was greater than that of grown-ups, that his family was fearful of him, and left him around Ibaraki town.'

According to the legend in Ibaraki city, Ibaraki-dōji was born after a difficult delivery after 18 months. He had already grown teeth, and was immediately able to walk after being born, and laughed with sharp eyes upon looking at his mother, causing his mother to die of shock. The oni-like child was too much for his father, so he was thrown away in front of a kamiyui in Kuzugami forest at the town of Ibaraki, and was then raised by the lady of the barbershop, who did not have a child. Ibaraki who excelled over adults at strength and physique at a young age, was also too much for the barbershop, but was taught the job and was able to be settled down. However, one day,-dōji injured a customer's face with a razor, had his hands stained in blood in fright, and tried licking his fingers clean but got used to the taste of blood. From then on he intentionally injured customers' faces and drank their blood. Having angered the barber shop, the despondent dōji leaned against a bridge over a brook and hung down his head in shame, and, having noticed how his face reflected in the water had completely become that of an oni, did not return to the barber shop.'

Sharp teeth; frightening laugh; abandoned; stronger than adults from a young age – sounds familiar, doesn't it?

The part about the barber-shop made me laugh rather hard. Not only because there's so much fussing and styling involved with Kenpachi's hair in canon, although that certainly is another funny parallel. But it made the silly omake-skit in which Kenpachi asks Ichigo whether he should do his hair as well so much more hilarious. I wonder whether that was influenced by Kubo or a totally weird coincidence?

In the Yokai-Wiki is a description of the location: 'Ibaraki-dōji’s most famous story takes place at Rashōmon, the southern gate of old Kyotos city walls. Rashōmon was built in 789, but after the Heian period (794-1185 ) it fell into serious disrepair and became known as an unsavory place. It was overgrown and unkempt. Thieves and bandits hung out near it. It even served as a dumping point for unwanted babies, and a spot to dispose of murder victims.'

That's basically what the 80th district in all it's awfulness is said to be. We could also take a closer look at the time period. Sadly the manga never shows the Squad number Unohana or the Shinigami with her have on their clothes when she first met Kenpachi. And it's all ambiguous enough that she could have been captain of the 11th or already captain of the 4th. Who says she wasn't allowed to satiated her blood-lust after changing divisions, especially since she mentioned having grown apathetic then? But if we assume she still openly carried the title of Kenpachi, then this could've been as long ago as thousand years. Quite a few big wars happened during the later years of the Heian period and these wars with the usual atrocities and unburied soldiers would fit in with the origin of the Gashadokuro. Although, to me, it's strange to picture Kenpachi roam the 80th and adjacent bad districts for that long until he made his way to the Seireitei. But who knows?

There's apparently a saying linked to the traditional depiction of Oni in which they carry iron clubs. 'This image leads to the expression "Oni with an iron club" (鬼に金棒oni-ni-kanabō) that is, to be invincible or undefeatable. It can also be used in the sense of "strong beyond strong", or having one's natural quality enhanced or supplemented by the use of some tool.'

Well...again, this sounds not only like the title of 'Kenpachi' in general and like the description we get from Hanataro before the fight with Ichigo, but all the more like someone who can explode a meteor with his Shikai while still wearing his Reiatsu-seal.

Oni have another weird hang-up; Japanese buildings sometimes have L-shaped indentions at the northeast to ward Oni away. Although the dead-ends in the Seireitei are what I'd call U-shaped, they are still inadvertent structural traps for Zaraki. Every time, even the small niches.

Sure, his nonexistent sense of direction is a running gag. But running into dead ends 10-20 times in a row, as the comments on their way to Rukia's execution suggest, is a clear enough pattern to make one's ears perk up and wonder.

#bleach #bleach meta #kenpachi zaraki #long post

[kleineshexenkraut]

Time for more awful ideas: Kenpachi has a fucked-up sleep cycle.

Sleeping wasn't save for the majority of his live. Wandering around in the worst districts of the Rukongai he never could rest for more than 3-4 hours at a time without being woken by a vague uneasiness. Even though he wasn't in real danger while awake (by being more dangerous), getting killed, robbed or otherwise assaulted while asleep would've been another matter entirely. Even more so after Yachiru needed looking after and worrying over too. That still sticks. He's not just enjoying afternoon naps; he needs this to get enough sleep at all.

#bleach #kenpachi zaraki #not my headcanon but twisting cute things to something awful is fun sometimes

[kleineshexenkraut]

After a recent conversation I can't read or watch this part anymore without seeing it as an elaborate, hilarious take on “Stop hitting yourself!”

#bleach #ichigo kurosaki #kenpachi zaraki #funny stuff