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a wikipedia poem on software entropy

#software entropy

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Happy #SubmissionSunday! Something I made up because the only days I have energy to submit anything for publication are the weekends. Anyways, my monthly goal is to submit 3 things for publication this month, but I'm hopefully going to aim for 4 or more, because there are some magazines with Pride issues coming up! (And what do I do but write about my experience as a trans man like I am a piece of meat?)

#magnus talks #submission sunday #writing community

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My friend just made me feel weird for asking so now i gotta know.

If you do have a favorite bird please please tell me in the tags, i want to see some Birds!!

#I'm a big fan of ravens crows & seagulls

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it’s just me and my irrelevant blog against the world

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Short Story Update: First Third of 2024

When it comes to short stories, I tend to go pretty long. It’s a bad habit of mine from writing novels. I want to include every single detail I can, which causes a lot of bloating. It’s… something I definitely need to work on.

For my last few short stories, I set myself a word limit. Constraints really bring out my creativity. When I have a word limit, I focus on the more important details and stop waxing poetic about hair and eye color. (A serious problem for me.)

For me, a “short” short story is in the 5k range, and even then, it’s normally 5.5k and over. Being concise can be a bit of a struggle for me. I’m doing my best to fix that, which is why I’ve been aiming for between 3k-4k words for my last few short stories. I have to learn how to tighten my short stories.

My last two short stories I’ve finished have both been exactly 3,014 words. A fun coincidence, for sure. Both are about grief and how it can make a relationship unhealthy. 

Normally, when I go into a short story, I have an image that comes to mind. I’m a very visual person (despite being a writer). Shockingly, both these short stories were based more off vibes than any images. 

My first short story, “Communion of Separation”, had a somber mood to it. That strange sort of sadness that comes with graduation and knowing the people you’ve grown up with are leaving. A fear of being lost. It was bittersweet. Even though I’m happy, I love writing sad stories where characters are prolonging their suffering. What can I say? I’m a sucker for emotions that settle heavy in my lungs.

The second, “My Lover Tastes of Ivy & Wine”, was based on the idea of a mortal falling in love with a god. Then it became more tender in its second draft, something about loss and nostalgia. I was obsessed with peaches, blackberry wine, and ivy plants at that time, so it had to be something about Dionysus. Always.

“Communion” and “Ivy & Wine” were both shockingly quick drafts. They were nice, quick breaks from me wrestling with some of the stories I’ve been focusing on this year. (Greenest and Hamish, cough.)

The issue with talking about both of them is that, because they’re so short, it is difficult to discuss both of the stories in-depth without revealing the entire story. I’m attempting anyways, because I like the challenge, and because I want to talk about these so badly it almost hurts.

“Communion of Separation”

Length: 3,014

Logline: Henry is caught in a tangle of dead ends and struggles to deal with it. 

Literal logline: Trying to hallucinate a better relationship.

Status: Rewriting

Theme song: “Dreamland” by Glass Animals

Vibes: Oily puddles, post-nap haze, photos from your childhood, road shimmer

Quote: “Grief is the price we pay for love.”

When it comes to “Communion”, I decided to challenge myself a little. I wanted to write about a relationship where both parties are dragging a dead relationship out of a sense of obligation to each other. In addition to that, I wanted to give the story that feeling of experiencing everything through a haze of medication. 

It’ll need a couple more edits to get it perfect, because it’s a difficult feeling to get right. One of the only books I’ve seen get it correct is Fight Club, which I think is part of the reason I love it. There’s a huge disconnect between the narrator and reality that is such a struggle to get right.

My inspiration for this piece was mostly what I was listening to at the time. Specifically, the Dreamland album from Glass Animals and trip reports from various drugs.

The quote for this piece is from Queen Elizabeth II: “Grief is the price we pay for love.”

Henry and July are at a bad point in both of their lives where they’re just going through the motions. They’re codependent and detached from the world. I think they love each other in a deeply unhealthy way. You know how a lot of people in freshman year of college end up in really toxic relationships? It’s exactly like that.

EXCERPT

Moments from the car crash play on the tv. He can see it from the tree’s point of view. Shattered glass is spiderwebs, diamonds, shimmering angel eyes. The Henry on the screen is laughing so hysterically it sounds like a scream, or screaming like a laugh. Glass sticks to his blood-red face, his dark hair. July’s nose bleeds.

“My Lover Tastes of Ivy & Wine”

Length: 3,014

Logline: After the death of his uncle, Bertram goes to Greece to claim his inheritance and relive his childhood memories.

Literal logline: When reliving your childhood doesn’t fix your grief, maybe sex can!

Status: Editing

Theme song: “Bedroom Hymns: by Florence + the Machine

Vibes: Dust in sunbeams, half-drunk glasses of wine, kissing strangers, crying for no reason

“My Lover Tastes of Ivy & Wine” is my most recent short story. I just finished it this month! It began with my excitement for warmer weather—specifically, sun-warmed grass beneath my feet—and became a story about grief. I don’t know what it is about me and grief in this quarter of the year, because I am absolutely not grieving anything that’s happened. I do have a nasty habit of “pre-gaming grief”, as I like to say, so I suppose I pulled from that emotion.

I’m hoping to edit this somewhat soon. The ending is pretty shaky, unlike the ending of “Communion”, and I need to smooth it out. 

Something I really like in “Ivy & Wine”, though, is how Bertram is annoyed by his own grief. I find a lot of the characters I write have a deep grief in them, and they either tend to be resigned to it or annoyed by it. It feels very realistic to me. When it comes to grief, I’m always annoyed by how long it continues. And it never feels like it ends, does it? That’s the most annoying thing about it. I guess I’m always taking my annoyance out on my characters. Who would have thunk?

Another thing I adore about this is the excerpt. We gardened a lot when I was a kid, so I transplanted some of my memories onto Bertram. I just picked up a cologne from Maison Margiela that smells exactly like picking tomatoes in the garden. That was part of my inspiration. 

The other inspiration was from a book on poisons I listened to while I was moving last year. In it, there was a section on English ivy, which devotees of Dionysus would crush and mix with wine to enter a crazed state during their bacchanals and wreak havoc on the countryside. I believe English ivy is a deliriant like Benadryl or datura. Basically, you are not meant to consume it, and whatever side effects you get is the plant telling you that you made a mistake in putting that in your mouth. This was perfect for my use.

EXCERPT

Bertram planted tomato seeds from Claudiu’s cabinets. Peas. Green beans. What he remembered harvesting as a child. He tended to the trees, watering and weeding them as they blossomed. They would soon buckle beneath the weight of their own fruits. The ivy-covered trellises flourished from daily waterings and threatened to take over the entire villa. 

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When it comes to short stories, I’m pleased to have written three in one quarter (including “Plastic Fangs” from the previous update post). Understanding the pace of my writing process is vital to setting goals and expectations for myself. Three short stories feels a bit excessive for my pace, considering I hadn’t finished many in 2023. I likely won’t write three stories next quarter, even though I’d really like to.

Tracking my writing has been useful for this. Not only when it comes to writing blog posts and maintaining my tumblr—and this has been useful in helping me post more—, but in ensuring I know exactly what, when, and how I write. I can look at the content I write and be able to learn more about my process through semi-scientific dissections. I’ve been big into the scientific process lately because of work, so I’m more than willing to apply it to my other work (writing).

These stories were fun to write, if a bit macabre. Isn’t everything I write macabre, though? I have a nasty habit of writing sad things. Hopefully my next short story will be something happier, though I doubt it.

#short story update #my writing #writing update #snippet #writes on tumblr #writeblr

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#i like to use a dash #if i'm submitting a short story i'll spice it up with something pretty

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Am I getting a good grade in tumblr mutual?

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I like my handwriting an outrageous amount. Can you read it? Probably not. But it looks pretty!

#magnus writes #magnus talks

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enough about taylor swift already. reblog and tag the smallest, least known artist you listen to

#in the middle. #one of my ex-girlfriends showed me them because she knows them. pretty cool

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I have to get out of my parents' house because in the past hour they have managed to destroy all the good, happy, content feelings I've had all day today and replace them with anxiety :)

#magnus talks

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Short Story Update: End of 2023

Believe it or not, when I’m not writing novels, I’m typically working on short fiction. I know I talk a lot about my poetry—and believe me, I do write quite a few poems—, but I’ve been trying to work on my short fiction since October of last year. 

What really got me going was the realization that it had been a full year since my last (and only, as of writing this) short story was published. “The Ghost You Left Behind” was published in Coffin Bell’s October 2022 issue. I got a little panicky about that (I think I cried). I’d put off both writing and attempting to submit short stories for quite some time due to the hectic events of my 2023. In short, I needed to do something. I was getting antsy.

I realized I needed to challenge myself more. Constraints equal creativity for me. It’s about testing myself, pushing to see if I can still write to a prompt or not.

This update showcases two short stories of mine: “The Boy & the Hag Stone” and “Plastic Fangs”. 

Out of both of them, you might think that “Plastic Fangs” was written first. But I actually began “The Boy & the Hag Stone” in October, and didn’t begin writing “Plastic Fangs” until December. What can I say? I’m a spooky boy year-round, except when it’s spooky season. Then I’m just a regular boy.

For both of these stories, I was inspired by visuals. Honestly, for any story, I am inspired by visuals. I don’t think in words; I think in pictures.

For “Hag Stone”, I was thinking a lot about the stone in Coraline. That cool little guy is actually rooted in beliefs that hag stones protected you from evil, and that looking through one could reveal hidden evils. Not exactly how it’s used in the movie, but I’m willing to give it a pass because I’m a sucker for a good Laika movie. I was also inspired by how much I personally hate wearing shoes. (I work in an office, and my coworkers know that I am most focused without my shoes on.)

“Plastic Fangs” was fun because it was my Halloween piece. (Just two months late on that, as always.) I had this idea of a scene where a vampire went as himself for Halloween. Not a very original idea, I know, but I was so inspired that I drafted the story in less than two days, and wrote a second draft in just as much time. 

(This is why I thought I could easily finish 2 short stories in the month of February. Which I did not do.)

These stories flowed from me with an ease that felt almost surreal. It was truly incredible. Perhaps that was because I had just gotten my full-time job and was finally able to stick to a schedule. Writing around an hourly work schedule was difficult for me because it was so unpredictable. However, with my work hours set (and by virtue of that, my writing hours set as well), I can easily finish more writing now than I could before, when I had objectively more time to finish things.

Both of these stories were fun additions to my growing collections of stories with fantastical elements. 

“The Boy & the Hag Stone” is about Rishi, a man who’s a little directionless in life, and the strange man he meets called Banshee. Banshee is the biggest manic pixie dream boy I’ve ever written. Quite frankly, I want to write more for him, even though he’s a very difficult person to write dialogue for. 

It is a little over 5000 words, though it needs some serious revisions. Somewhere in the middle, the style completely changes. I was going for a vaguely fairytale-esque vibe, in honor of the professor who encouraged me to write fantasy once again. It didn’t exactly work the first time around. Hopefully, a second pass will allow me to salvage the idea, because I think it fits the tone quite well. Banshee is mysterious enough to be a small-town folk legend. Funnily enough, that is my ultimate goal in life. 

My quote for “Hag Stone” is from Coraline, of course: “I think most things are pretty magical, and that it’s less a matter of belief than it is one of just stopping to notice.” I think that describes Banshee’s outlook on life perfectly. It’s not only that he himself is magical: he believes the world is full of magic, and that he’s just more attuned to it than the average person. 

What I love most about “Hag Stone” is that Rishi is just as willing to go along with Banshee’s weirdness as I would be. He’s having a far more interesting early-twenties crisis than I did. Mine ended (I think) when I became an administrative assistant; Rishi’s ended when he met a man who could see the future. We are not the same. 

EXCERPTS

His mother had swallowed a hag stone when she was pregnant, they say. He blew through town for a wedding. Though his name was Ian, they called him Banshee. 

Banshee came into people’s lives just as they needed him and left like a ghost. He was wild and unkempt, save for the polished stone around his neck, and had blank, colorless eyes like asphodels. I was a fool to let him sieve through my fingers, but I know I’ll see him again.

For some reason, I thought he would taste earthy. Like a mouthful of dirt, or of sand. Rotting leaves. Or like a mouthful of sugar. Pure and sweet. Like home, turmeric and sweat and heat, or home, wood polish and vanilla perfume and fresh laundry, or home, dust and stale noodles and horse. Banshee tasted like none of that, but somehow made me think of all of it. He tasted like a new home I could slip into. 

Songs I listened to while writing “Hag Stone”:

Haunted House - Florence + the Machine

Nobody - Mitski

Almost (Sweet Music) - Hozier

I Will Wait - Mumford & Sons

The second short story, “Plastic Fangs”, is one of my favorite things I’ve ever written. Marcellus is a vampire on the hunt for a lover and a good meal all in one. He finds that in Abel. But all is not as it seems.

It’s a rather wordy short story at 5800 words. The ending is the shakiest part. That much is typical of how I write short stories. (That is: with no ending in mind, only what feels natural.) 

“Plastic Fangs” was one of those works I finished in two days at most. I actually began writing the second draft before I finished the first. Marcellus experienced such dramatic character development in the middle of the story that I just had to change the beginning because it didn’t fit anymore. Originally, he was just a run-of-the-mill, angst-filled vampire. Now he’s just a strange person that reads people’s diaries to learn their deepest secrets. For a dead guy, he’s full of life.

Abel is a good contrast for Marcellus. He’s a little angsty, pretty lost. Marcellus has had a lot of time to figure himself out; Abel hasn’t. That’s what makes their dynamic so interesting to me, I think. They have different life experiences. 

I’m certain that “Plastic Fangs” will take far less time to edit than “Hag Stone”. For one, it’s already had one round of edits. I also didn’t take any risks with the prose. It’s a pretty typical example of my style. I could see “Plastic Fangs” and “The Ghost You Left Behind” taking place in the same world. They have the same sort of vibe to them. 

The quote for this short story is from Rachelle Lefevre: “The thing I love about vampires that I find so fascinating is that, unlike other sci-fi creations, they aren't monsters from the get-go, they're human beings first... and so what kind of human you are would dictate what kind of vampire you would be.”

EXCERPTS

In October, Marcellus’ penchant for the dramatic—that which made him what he is today—gets to come center stage as he attends various costume parties, parades, festivals. He buys a set of flimsy plastic fangs that sit strangely in his mouth. Tacky in a charming way. An amateur stage adaptation of Dracula. 

Marcellus loved performing Doctor Faustus in the troupe. We understand Faustus better than nearly anyone, Julius said, because we’ve already sold our souls for profane power. He understands making selfish decisions; Faustus was only his favorite because Julius got to be affectionate as Mephistophilis. 

Abel has a small, blown-out tattoo that might have once been a smiley face right above his hip.

Songs I listened to while writing “Plastic Fangs”:

Howl - Florence + the Machine

Waltz of the Bone King - Peter Gundry

Ravenous - Autumn Orange

Haunted House - Florence + the Machine

These two stories really helped drag me out of a writing slump. Moving into my parents’ house did a number on me mentally and creatively, and I only managed to get out of that when I began working full-time and forcing myself to go out more instead of succumbing to my depression as I was. I think you can tell that I was still pretty depressed when I wrote “Hag Stone”, even if it is a story about hope. 

My husband actually suggested I try turning “Plastic Fangs” into a book. I think there’s potential with that. These characters interest me so much that I want to do way more with them than I can within the parameters of a short story. I have a few scenes written for a larger project with them, but I’m not quite sure where that will take me. 

Please ask to be added to the taglist! I'm tagging @bardicbeetle, because Larkspur is and always will be my inspiration for writing weird shit about vampires. <3

#writing update #my writing #writers on tumblr #writeblr #creative writing #magnus writes

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I'm making a couple short story updates and let me tell you, one of my favorite things to do is describe people's tiny flaws. Abel has a shitty stick & poke tattoo on his thigh. Banshee's always peeling from sunburn. July's nostrils are crusted with blood. Claudiu's ankles are constantly scratched up. Just tiny little details that I think make my little freaks seem more real

#magnus talks

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ok what’s your florence + the machine song. mine is rabbit heart (raise it up)<3

#mine is haunted house <3 #anything that compares a person to a house/haunted house makes me go feral

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The only part of my desk that isn't abject chaos is, of course, where my Nightcrawler is.

#magnus talks #my desk #desktop

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#writing meme #q

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Little Fucking Freak x the only person who can deal with said Little Fucking Freak

#tropes i can't get enough of #penny & mavuto #zahir & acanthus #little fucking freak x the only person who can deal with said little fucking freak

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very funny when you have long-term OCs that didn't share many traits with you when you made them, but your circumstances have changed so now it looks like you were engaging in some extremely un-subtle projection

#i'd say 'this is how i feel about kam' but tbh kam was already an 'amplification of my worst traits' #aka me when i have a tism day