A/N: to all the nonnies who said i'd be a good writer... this drabble wouldn't see the light of the day without you.
Wanda's pov
Y/n is the happiest out of us all. Always bubbly and cheerful. Anyone needs help? Y/n is there. Someone got hurt on a mission? Y/n is rushing to them with a med kit, immediately taking them to the med bay. Someone arguing? She's on her way to stop it before it escalates.
She never chooses violence as an option, never seems to get angry or upset. She accepts everyone and never judges for anything. Always listens to what they have to say, always understanding and forgiving. Everyone trusts her and goes to her when they need a shoulder to cry on or to just talk about something that makes them happy. She doesn't even get annoyed by Stark which sounds impossible for me and the rest of the team. Y/n seems to never have any troubles. She has her positive attitude even during bad times and can joke about anything, lighting the mood. If anybody asked her how was she doing, she always answered "I'm happy as long as i'm with you guys!" and everyone thought it's cute and didn't think much about it.
What nobody knows is that she hates herself. She hates herself so much that she's hurting and bullying herself into being pretty. She thinks she's a horrible person, hence the positive attitude so no one could see through and discover real her.
The only person who knows is me. No, not because Y/n told me, no. But because her thoughts are so loud that I'm not able to ignore them. I hear them every hour of the day and it's heartbreaking. The one who always forgives others, never forgives herself. The thoughts and feelings get even worse during nighttime when Y/n doesn't need to pretend and block anyone anymore. She lets go, sobbing quietly as blood is streaming down her body. Every cut is like a punishment to her, something she feels she deserves.
No one ever noticed how she only wears long sleeved t-shirts and always refuses to go on a beach or hang out by the pool. No one ever noticed how she zones out more than ten times a day. No one ever noticed how she feels on the inside.
I want to talk to her but i never know where to start. I can't just go to her and say "hey, I've heard your thoughts! wanna talk about it?" I can't ask anyone for advice either because it would be violating Y/n's privacy even more than i already have.
Now i realise that i should've done just that! I should've talked to her. Doesn't matter if she wouldn't trust me anymore or she'd hate me. But I'd try to help! She'd know that there's someone she can talk to, someone who's there for her.
But now it's too late. Y/n's not here with us anymore... She'd taken her own life and I will never forgive myself for letting that happen.
As if the cold seeping into your bloodstream wasn't warning enough, or the sound that followed you like a song you couldn't remember. You felt her presence around you but didn't dare to open your eyes, her hands seemed to ghost across your skin, taunting you and that sickly sweet voice coursing you closer. "Miss me?" She hums, you feel something deep inside you awaken "of course."