middleagedthoughts

[middleagedthoughts]

Occurrences

My work has a policy that if you are unable to show up to work, you get an occurrence. If you are tardy, it is 1/2 of an occurrence. You get 5 totally free occurrences each year and they roll off each year. At 6, you are on corrective action. only at 10, does one get to termination potential. 

I am struggling to understand the anger of my younger co-workers at this policy. I looked at the policies of other companies and they are far more stringent, two occurrences and you are fired; you can have an occurrence until you run out of PTO, then you are fired; one occurrence and you are fired. 

I always saw occurrences as something that should only happen due to acts of God, so to speak. I was once snowed in, in a different state by a freak unpredictable storm. I got an occurrence and moved on, it has long since been rolled off my file. I left so many fun events early due to weather so that I could at work the next day, that I find people’s “gasp” at getting in trouble for not being at work a bit annoying. 

I don’t have children, so it is slightly unfair, if we dare to use that word, as I don’t have to deal with those seemingly endless children sicknesses. On the other hand, Children are also a choice. My good friend raised a child on her own without family nearby and she managed to not get in trouble with occurrences. All of my coworkers currently have children with a partner which opens up another potential, make sure to have a partner with a job that can handle flexibility. We do have drop in sick child day care centers as well as other options for school cancellations such as SAC.  

The angry youth don’t have children, so the issue is murkier. From conversations, they are split between “ I am perfect and shouldn’t have anything on my PERFECT record and The system that gives occurrences is flawed” As for the first, there is nothing I can really do about that as it is personal growth opportunity. As for the later, let us inspect the flawed system. 

The system has changed over the years and I think the leniency has really made it seem unfair. It used to be, no matter what, you got an occurrence. In our attempts to be more human, the system has become more grey. You get in an accident driving to work, no occurrence. You get in an accident the day before work, occurrence. you get in an accident the day before work and have a doctor’s note...grey. 

The other aspect to this is the people who have to do the work for the people who are not there. Interestingly enough, the people who are being vocal about the occurrence policy are always the first to come tattle on anyone being late; so it is OK for THEM to not show up to work, but not anyone else. In many ways the occurrence policy is there to enforce some equality between the childless and the parents as it is a complaint that “just because I don’t have kids, I am supposed to stay late and finish things, so that my counterpart can go pick them up, how is that fair?!?” 

I don’t have an answer, It will be interesting to see the proposal on occurrences is presented by the youth. but I have a feeling that my own personal thoughts will be, “ can you just show up to work and do your job? if you care about fairness that much, go get a law degree. You have a college degree, work out plans and backup plans for situations.“

Some things are just inherently lose/lose 

#occurrence #workplace #duty #fairness

[middleagedthoughts]

Character study: stuck stoffel

upper middle aged manager forced out of well known company to prevent pulling retirement benefits like many before them. working at menial drudge position to keep healthcare benefits. Swirling negative attitudes. Sees issues, complains, but has given up on trying to improve things due to repeated failures with managers above, adding to more resistance. Attempts to get new position in current company without progress. It is easy to see that if supported this person would glow but unlikely that the opportunity will present itself. 

Further education will be recommended

#people #agism #history #perception

[middleagedthoughts]

STOP BEING CONTEMPORARY, B5

[middleagedthoughts]

Colorful dancers, Swirling in the sunshine, spirits flickering bright.  You join in the dance, tightly close your eyes- to hold fast the happiness.  The music stops,  eyes fall open and no one is around.  THIS is sorrow.

Self

#workplace #aging #poetry

[middleagedthoughts]

Beginning,  Proud chested, eyes-closed joy. Forward together! Ears filled with the unison step.   Change, Shoulders collapse, eyes fall open. Space returns your glance. A stumble echos.

self

#workplace #poem #aging

[middleagedthoughts]

I go to sleep thinking about how to help out at work and wake up thinking about how to help at work...which is sad panda funny since I know that people will always think that I am not doing enough at work for them personally. Dude, 110+ people is too much for any one person!

#accurate

[middleagedthoughts]

Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.

-Anonymous

[middleagedthoughts]

old is a wall, new is a dream...which one is easier to push on?

[middleagedthoughts]

I mentioned out-loud, in an empty room, that my list was finished and was wondering what to do next...less than 24hrs later, my list is twice as long as it was before. The universe is always listening

self

#nevereningstory #caution #wordshavepower

[middleagedthoughts]

Emphasis

It is not just children who pick up on the worst parts of whatever you say but also co-workers and never the ones that you might expect. I was trying to convince a co-worker to go speak to a manager that had appeared to slight them. The common and someone what infantile chose that is typically made is to just to talk badly about this person/situation to your friends and garner sympathy for how “terrible Management is”. Forgetting that Management is simply a human being group that had stupidly chosen a job to convince others to work together. 

In my earnest attempt to assist the conversation to happen I told my own story of being verbally wronged over 1.5 months ago and how the very next day I arranged a meeting to discuss my feelings. How much it helped to speak about how I felt unsupported and to bring attention to what parts were bothering me of situation.

Apparently I did too good of a job, come to find out that the next day the person did go speak to the verbal violator: that my own story was used against me in the conversation as a topic of other Violations. The person was mad for me (another post on this someday) and felt that my issue should also be brought up. Unfortunately, I don’t really remember what I told the person (see 1.5 months) as the focus was supposed to be on having conversations instead of the facts of the things themselves. No clue as how the person felt hearing my story told in such an unkind way but hopefully they will just brush it off and move on. 

As with all typical work events, the person is now upset at me for having an imperfect memory of the events and my response to having the story told...you never get to win around here. 

#work coworkers conversations hasanyoneseenmyeye? itfelloutwithalltherolling

[middleagedthoughts]

I wanted to write a post regarding the feelings of shame at work but was unable to capture the reason behind it all until I saw this. Shame does come from a feeling of not belonging, even at work, not from a feeling performing poorly. 

#Shame background exclusion

[middleagedthoughts]

Being management on an off-shift is like being asked to dinner and only allowed the use of 1/2 of your body; as you are only given information secondhand

gr8katesky6

#offshift #worklife #funny #true

[middleagedthoughts]

Importance of Professional Negative Space

In school, one of the most boring artistic concepts to me was the “importance of negative space” and looking at the statues with the holes cut out, or the three dimensional aspect driven by the lack of physical presence. ugh. 

 I started to finally understand the importance at least a decade later when I tried to plant my own garden from scratch. Why would I want to leave so large a space between my plants as the tags recommended when I wanted a solid  carpet of color? The result you may have guessed was not as desired. The plants did grow on top of one another as a carpet of sorts, but the effect was not harmony but a veritable mess of smallish unhappy plants. 

It struck me today that this same concept is useful in regards to the professional world as it relates to new and older staff members. There is some current frustration toward an older staff member in the workplace that, “swamps everyone and their projects”. We all know that she does this from a place of helpfulness and in her mind “kindness” but they are so unhappy with the lack of space to grow within that they have given up on projects or leading all together. Unfortunately, this now absence only seems to draw this person in more and and cause her to frantically try to do it all. 

As you get older, it will be one of the hardest things to practice, this giving of space for someone to try when you want to help them. It is so deeply, frustrating, and just plain hard to handle when you want a project to succeed and to be a part of it, but the person does not want YOUR help. Sometimes they do succeed and sometimes they do fail or at least produce mediocre work. 

It is not a matter of boundaries as you always have to be available as a leader, but a matter of giving the professional space for someone to be their own leader. Similar to building a fence, you don’t want your neighbor to build a house that is touching your fence line but to give the space between the physical items. Negative space. 

#negativespace #growth #professional #career #change

[middleagedthoughts]

[middleagedthoughts]

Life has many ways of testing a person’s will – either by having nothing happen at all, or by having everything happen at once.

Paulo Coelho (via amargedom)

[middleagedthoughts]

[middleagedthoughts]

introspective 

Today I want to resolve nothing.

I only want to walk a little longer in the cold

blessing of the rain, and lift my face to it.

Kim Addonizio, closing lines to “New Year’s Day” from Tell Me: Poems (BOA Editions, 2000)