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namboobieslover · 10 months

Text

Kintsugi: the beauty of broken things || MYG

Chapter 5

Summary: Yoongi and Minnie have been friends for quite some time now, almost... 15 years? 15 years since they ran into each other in that music classroom by an unlucky (or not) mistake. They've grown close, but both of them have strong characters and insecurities that will have to be put aside when Minnie falls into her own lie, risking her job in the process. They have 3 days to feel comfortable and make everyone believe their role as the young engaged couple or she is fucked :[

Pairing: musical producer! Yoongi x lab tech/science nerdy! f reader au; non-idol! BTS members make a brief appearance

Genre: fluff, angst, kinda slow burn (?), best friends to fake couple au, constant unresolved sexual tension, two idiots too proud to openly speak but pinning each other

Warnings: use of bad language, mentions of insecurities/low self-esteem, anxiety, trauma; light use of weed, little smut if you scrutinize, SFW

Masterlist: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // ...

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CHAPTER 5: Future's gonna be okay

Word count: 3776

"Where am I?" That's the first thought that comes to my mind.

My neck hurts like a bitch while one of my arms feels sleepy. What the heck?

I open my eyes to see nothing more than the dim light; I don't have my glasses on. Where are they?

I up my head from whatever comfy pillow I am to realise that it's, in fact, some boobies. Not other than Yoongi’s boobies; this man must have been hitting the gym lately, damn.

-Y'know, my eyes are up here -a raspy and low voice calls me in a tone full of fun.

If I squint, I can see my dear friend lazily rubbing his eyes with a smirk.

-Calm down, Mr Modest; mine still are bigger.

-That's true -he bluntly admits.

I swear, I have to. Hitting him must have become part of my DNA after so many ages.

-How long have you been awake?

-No longer than you. I felt you detaching from my body; you are nothing careful.

-Where are my glasses?

-Here -he turns his body to his side of the sofa and must be to get them- You fell asleep with them on; I thought you would prefer not breaking them unconsciously. It happened once to me.

He is right. Once I have them on, I can see we are still in his dining room.

We call it quits because it's really late, and even if I don't have to work tomorrow due to the ball, he must go to the photoshoot for the new álbum.

We lay side to side in bed, and even with all the alcohol and the time it is, I can't sleep. A lot of thoughts are going at high speed in my mind.

-Yoongi? Are you awake?

-What do you want? -he says in a sleepy voice.

-Do- Do you think this plan is going to work?

-Of course.

-What if not? It would be a matter of time for everyone to know about it, and sooner or later, I would have to find another job. Do you know how hard it will be? My lab has a high reputation to the point that, if they want, I won't find any other job in this country. Maybe neither in others. Trust it's fundamental in this hazardous environment and-

-And if I grow some wings suddenly, that would make airlines useless. Would that mean that they all would demand me cause of unfair competitiveness? Or would I be a victim of some scientist trying to understand how it happened?

-Yoongi, that's impossible.

-Point made -he says proudly- I don't say that you can't feel afraid but don't go so far; you'll never know till the moment comes. Step after step. First, complete the plan, then go to the event. After that, we will see.

-But what if?...

-What if everything goes well?

He sighs.

-Don't worry, Minnie -he says while manhandling me till I'm laying again in his chest, engulfed by his arms- you are crazy, thinking that all this effort we have put in, it’s to be wasted.

-Oh, so your primary motivation is about that and not about your best friend about to be fired?

-No, of course not -he agrees with me as If I were dumb -Of course not -he pats my head with little hits.

I can't help but laugh, and he also does, allowing me to hear him directly through my ear. It has to be one of my favourite things in the world.

-Seriously, let's rest enough to think rightly; the theme of my mixtape ain't about zombies. We can text throughout the day about the final touches of our "love story" -he remarks, using his hands.

-Seems nice. As you know, I'm free tomorrow, meaning I’ll be capable of using my telephone.

-Okay, then. Now. Sleep -sentences while closing my eyelids with soft fingers.

I laugh again, fully knowing that he is putting these jokes to cheer me up. He does too, and between these beautiful sounds and some more little comedic comments, embraced by his warmth and the smell of the perfume I gifted him, I fall into the arms of Morpheus.

I must have slept very deeply because I wake up feeling rested. I also wake up alone, but not completely: a post-it with Yoongle's handwriting. "I left for work. Make yourself home; you already know where everything is. Idk which time I'll be back, but before the ball for sure. Stay as much as you want to".

Not a single smiley face, "dear" or a goodbye. Very Yoongi-like.

Once I get rid of sleep, I open the windows to get some fresh air. The day is cold, but there isn’t a single cloud in the sky. I march to the kitchen where coffee has been cooked earlier (probably Yoongi leftovers). With my breakfast, I sit on the couch to watch the TV. Something resting there, all alone, calls my attention.

Oh shit, the to-do list.

-○—○—○—○—○—○—○—○—○—○—○—○

"Free Minnie"

☆ 2-part plan

Day 1:

✅️ Partying together and pretending to be a couple.

✅️ Wearing clothes the other likes.

✅️ Getting used to holding hands and side hugging.

✅️ Getting comfortable being close to each other.

Day 2:

☑️ Accord lovey-dovey nicknames

☑️ Comfortably hug each other/being near/share the same vital space.

☑️ Practice:

Introducing each other

"Love story"

Pecks (????) 🤮🤮

-^---^---^---^---^---^---^---^---^---^---^---^---^

I search for a green pen, wanting to give a check for everything done.

Nicknames? Yes.

To be comfortable around each other? It was hard, but we did it.

Introduce each other? The funniest. He couldn't stop jokingly doing it when he said that we should sleep. I remember clear as the day his "Excuse me, mister. My fiancé is sleeping because she's trying to keep herself on my same level of beauty, perfection and intelligence" as his last words before I drowned to sleep.

Love story? Maybe… check in orange? We have almost finished.

Pecks?

Pecks.

Pecks?

Not as long as I know. But not the most relevant one since that would happen in an unfortunate scenario. It would be bad luck, right?

That means that, except for the final touches, we have finished.

-○—○—○—○—○—○—○—○—○—○—○—○

"Free Minnie"

☆ 2-part plan

Day 1:

✅️ Partying together and pretending to be a couple.

✅️ Wearing clothes the other likes.

✅️ Getting used to holding hands and side hugging.

✅️ Getting comfortable being close to each other.

Day 2:

✅️ Accord lovey-dovey nicknames

✅️ Comfortably hug each other/being near/share the same vital space.

✅️ Practice

Introducing each other ✅️

"Love story" ✴️

Pecks (????) 🤮🤮 🚫

-^---^---^---^---^---^---^---^---^---^---^---^---^

-Hello, sleeping beauty.

-Hello, you.

-I have to be honest; this morning, when I woke up, I felt envious of you.

-I understand. I was sleeping so deeply that I didn't notice when you left.

-I’m taking a life-changing nap when I come home, don't worry. Okay, correct me if I'm wrong, but what follows it's the… proposal?

-Yeah. Your turn to shine.

He laughs.

-Well, I was thinking about something intimate. Big gestures feel like a no-no to me.

-Yes, please. There's nothing worse than the typical ones where everyone is looking at you, waiting for the answer. If someone creates a flash mob or makes the petition appear on a screen… I'm leaving that person right there.

-ugh, just thinking about it gives me goosebumps.

-Yeah, that's not us. What fits us the most is something unserious and routine type of moment. Do you get what I mean?

-I do. Like getting to bed together and suddenly… bam! The ring ninja.

-Exactly. What would be something that would turn the marriage switch "on" in your brain?

-Mm, that's hard. Let me think.

-Don't worry. I'm entertaining myself by looking through your lyrics' notepads.

The line goes silent. Deadly silent.

-Minnie…

-God, Yoongi, I'm obviously kidding. I can't believe you fell for it; I know those books are like your children. "The only thing I ask you to be off-limits in our friendship are my notepads; I want my inner thoughts to be private till I'm ready" is the phrase I have nightmares with.

-Good girl; I have you well trained.

-Keep going with that attitude, and what you'll have well trained is receiving the hit of my hand with your face -I mindlessly sing back while roaming through the apartment.

-That's not ladylike.

-You know what is not wise like? Put Puerto Rico 0-3 Portugal in the World Cup bet. It's crystal clear that you don't have any idea about football -I tiredly answer with said bet in hand- If you had done your research, you would have known that European teams do worst in warm environments as they suffer a lot more flues due to the accumulated tiredness of ending the first round of their leagues weeks before World Cup and the air conditioner in the hotels. This year's favourites are south american countries.

-I heard some NBA players talking about this option being the best and-

-And if Damian Lillard tells you to jump off a bridge, you do, I know, but trust your football player best friend here for once. You didn't even ask me, idiot.

-Yeah, you are right. Damian would have that power over me. No doubt.

-Of course he does. I’m wondering…who would you obey most between him and J. Cole?

-Unfair question I won't answer because you don’t even like them that much.

-But you do, and it is always fun to mess with you; I even watched the last Damian match to screw you hehehe.

The line goes silent.

-Hey, are you there?

-Yes, I am. I was just thinking.

-I imagined. I didn’t want to say anything, but I was impressed with your ability to give me five minutes of uninterrupted attention. Coffee must be hitting real bad your ADHD. Have you at least come up with an answer to why you proposed?

Silence again.

-Pro-pro- what? -he sounds disoriented.

-Proposed Yoongi, the fake proposal. You know, to avoid my dismissal.

-Yeah, right. I'll see at that moment or wait throughout today if I can invent something.

-C'mon Yoongi. Am I so horrible that you can't imagine one thing you like about me? -it stings a bit.

-No, it's not that.

-Then what? I did not consider this one as the hardest of all tasks we've done.

-I have to hang up; somebody is calling my name. I'll talk to you later, bye.

-Sure -I answer back acidly non intended.

I don't even change into my clothes; I don't have the humour for that (not that Yoongi’s lent clothes seem deteriorated or anything).

I start to walk to the nearer bus stop, Wild Flower from Indigo blasting full-on volume in my earbuds.

Buses have something I can't explain but… travelling in them usually makes me sad. I don't know why, but something like nostalgia invades me, and I can't shake it.

For me, a bus feels like a little window to the world. You can see what's going on, both out and inside the vehicle, with the perception of anonymity. You can see everybody carrying on daily tasks, unaware of your presence.

That makes you feel like your existence isn’t relevant, that if you disappeared from the surface of this earth, everyone would be able to keep going on like nothing. Your existence means nothing.

After 10 minutes, I’ve finally come home. I’m unsure what to do next: should I be showering or relaxing? Perhaps shower, or then I’ll be unable to move due to my lazy ass. Diligently, that’s what I do.

I play some music in the background, as always, something to feel sexy and try to get in a better mood. The chosen option is a playlist I did, composed with songs from Yoongi's close circle of composer friends: Vibe (Taeyang ft Jimin), Smoke sprite (So!YoON! ft RM), Bad Decisions (from some of them ft Benny Blanco and Snoop Dog), Change pt2 (RM), MORE (J-Hope), etc.

Two or three songs play before being interrupted by one I didn’t expect: Golden hour by JVKE. In other situations, that one is a favourite, but now? I don’t know why, but it makes me sad, to the point that tears flow from my eyes. I stay there for the whole duration of the music, crying under the water that wets me from head to toe; its warmth being the only comfort.

The last time I felt this way was long ago, maybe… when I was on the latest exams for my doctorate, trying to access my ongoing job? Likely. They were the darkest years

of my life: no self-confidence, constantly doubting my capacity. I isolated myself from everyone around me till, thanks to Yoongi’s temperament, I was ready to talk about what I was feeling. Maybe that’s why seeing him behaving as he has, hurt me so much.

He has always been supportive and my anchor when I let my head be full of dark thoughts. I feel bad because now he is putting everything in his hand to help me, and here I am, still being childish. Only caring about what he didn’t say or do instead of being grateful for everything he did.

I’m being stupid, and I should be putting aside all my insecure nature to make this plan work. I shake my head physically and mentally.

-Focus, Min Young Mi -I whisper to myself.

I feel so much better, sadness from before slowly disappearing upon the relevance of the stratagem we have between our hands.

I get ready except for dressing the clothes; I still have some informs to write and some chores to do before leaving. One by one, they are done, remaining to finish my makeup and wear the fancy clothes.

It was hard to choose, but I decided on a light and shiny eyeshadow and products to realt my natural beauty (If there’s some, I’m not sure) and clothing… damn. I don’t usually assist to formal events, so I was unsure about what is considered appropriate and what is not. After researching on work and between my girlfriends, I’ve come up with a long but pompous sleeve incorporated into a tight bodice that contrasts with a loose, long skirt; everything in different shades of white and golden details (imitating the chinese technique of repairing broken ceramics with gold, Kintsugi).

I add some pale colourful butterflies and shining stickers on my hair styled in messy space buns.

The final look I see in the mirror is better than expected. All has come together nicely, highlighting my curves where they should be.

-Girls, you never looked this good -I say to my boobies, well put and round; they don’t seem like the usual ones that make me insecure.

I feel pretty, even… empowered.

A message bleeps in my phone.

As I’ve been told, I call a taxi that gets me faster than I imagined to the placement where the ball is happening tonight.

It’s an incredible old-styled mansion, decorated for the occasion with flowers and little lightbulbs. But that’s not all; the interior is as beautiful or more, totally my style. Feels like a set from that period series I love to watch; romance and secrets oozing from every square.

I force the chat to be about superficial stuff, trying to avoid the main thing of tonight, but the question appears from one of my workmates ten minutes later while talking in a circle.

-So… where is your soon-to-be husband? We are dying to meet him.

-He had an inconvenience in his work, making him late. He must be about to arrive.

-Once again, what does he work as?

-Producer. He writes and composes music for other artists and himself, but now he is finishing the last touches of his upcoming album, which is also his first one.

-Is he an independent artist or…?

-Oh, no. He works for a prestigious music company, but till now, hadn’t found enough time for his own projects. His schedule is tight, so all the arrangements have to go as planned. These days he’s been busy putting hours and hours into it and making space to come here to meet you all… means a lot to me.

Everyone is glancing at the same place, the entry. Naturally, I follow along, discovering that the cause of all this shock is no other than my best friend.

-Speaking of him… -I whisper unconsciously loud enough for people near me to hear.

-It’s that your man? -a couple of them ask with evident surprise on their faces.

He seems lost, probably searching for me. He also looks stunning, almost unreal.

I salute him from afar, and once he sees me, a big pretty smile appears on that pretty face. When he’s coming my way, I have finally gathered the courage to admit it.

-Yes, that’s my man.

I’m as surprised as everyone by his beauty, having fallen in his enchantment. He shines through the room charmingly, making it understandable all eyes are on him, but he only seems to see… me? What?

Once he is a couple of metres away, I tell myself to breathe again, too stunned to speak.

-Hi, babe -he greets me encircling my waist with his arm- You look beautiful, as always -he seems to say truthfully, looking into my eyes, finishing the sentence with a quick peck on my lips.

What. The. Fuck. It’s. Going. On.

What?

My brain has forgotten how to work, unable to process surprise after surprise.

-Sorry for being late -he adds upon my silence- today has been crazy, but I don’t wanna bore you with work. We are here to enjoy and raise some funds, aren’t we?

-ye-yeah.

Am I stuttering? What has he done to me?

-Sorry, we haven’t been introduced properly. I’m Yoongi, Young Mi’s fiance.

He greets everyone with a handshake and naturality that I have never seen on him, never leaving my side or peeling his arm around my body, that touch almost burning me. I feel my face getting redder every second that passes.

-Young Mi, are you okay?

-What? Why? -I shyly ask, touching my flushed cheeks.

-You haven’t talked since your boyfriend arrived. Cat got your tongue?

I look at Yoongi, both of us aware of the ongoing joke of him being the human personification of a cat. He gets it because a devilish smirk appears on his face.

-yeah, something like that -I admit, mortified

-You know how shy she is with personal stuff, let her be -he jokingly says while hugging me tightly and kissing my forehead.

-Honey, behave -I warn him lightly, hitting him in the arm. He’s having way too much fun with this, and it shows off in how his smile doesn’t go away- would you get me a drink, please?

-Of course.

Other partners of my co-workers join him in the task, letting us talk, but especially me and “my man” to fence for ourselves in front of a public that requires answers about our relationship.

Once they near the table with drinks, the season is open. They start to shoot questions without leaving me time to answer them.

-Wow, Young Mi, he is…

-Handsome -other interrupts, making us laugh.

-And he has this aura of a rockstar…

-yeah, and he seems so in love with you. Can’t keep his hands to himself.

-Both of you make an incredible couple, both sophisticated and pretty.

-No, not just pretty. Hot as fuck.

We laugh, but all the compliments make something deep inside me tingle.

I look at him, finding out that he is already looking. He seems surprised at being caught but smiles at me in that beautiful and particular way I’ve only seen him do on counted occasions.

“What?” I mouth at him, not understanding what’s going on.

His only answer is a wink, and I can't put my finger on what it is, but suddenly all this feels new. And exciting. And like butterflies dancing around in my stomach.

This night will surely be going to be one to remember.

A/N: Sorry I've been missing but uni still has me on house arrest with all the finals. Hope you like it and hope you have a good night/evening... Feel free to give some feedback :)

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namboobieslover · 10 months

Text

Kintsugi: the beauty of broken things || MYG

Chapter 4

Pairing: musical producer! Yoongi x lab tech/science nerdy! f reader au; non-idol! BTS members make a brief appearance

Genre: fluff, angst, kinda slow burn (?), best friends to fake couple au, constant unresolved sexual tension, two idiots too proud to openly speak but pinning each other

Warnings: use of bad language, mentions of insecurities/low self-esteem, anxiety, trauma; light use of weed, little smut if you scrutinize, SFW

Masterlist: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // ...

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CHAPTER 4: Don't worry, honey.

Word count: 1867

Does she want to play? Let’s play then. I prepare her usual rum with cola; she drinks that like water. For me, I’ll go on with more whiskey.

-There you go -I offer her the glass as I speak- Your favourite.

She tries it and it must be strong because the reaction is her nose scrunching, elevating her glasses with that action.

It’s not my fault since she intently tries to avoid wearing them in public, but I’m still a little surprised. She has this nerdy look that fits her really well, kinda… cute.

I love it when she goes totally science mode, telling me about these things I don't fully understand but makes her fascinated. I get fascinated with her. Most of the time I can't even follow her rhythm or I just stare at her with a blank face, the passion she shows being the only thing I can focus on. Me and my ADHD brain.

-Tell me if I'm wrong but the "love story" -she remarks with her hands- is then resolved.

-I guess. Or maybe… should we talk a little more about details?

-Yeah, lots of coworkers will have insatiable questions about this. Usually, when they ask about it, I just say "Uh, long story. I'll tell you about it when time accompanies". I didn’t want to be detailed about it because I'm not good at lying, nor at remembering things; especially lies.

-You made the right decision. What do you prefer: making up the whole story from scratch or should we add things we would like in those situations? To feel more natural.

-Maybe half and half. We can invent the story and progressively incorporate things we imagine in that type of situation; better if we coincide.

-Works for me -I agree- As we said the first meeting can remain as it was.

-Yeah

-Then, the fictional part should start in university and the whole living together thing.

-About the place… it's safer to say that we live in mine; my coworkers may have access to some of my personal information.

-That's true, but just in case, to justify you going in the opposite direction to eat in Mrs Lin's place… what about saying that we lived first here and then moved to yours?

-That's brilliant… babe.

Even though she struggles with the nickname, the more we say it, the less weird it feels (even if it's just a little little little amount). I should start to practise too, so… little devil on my shoulder comes with a plan.

-Minnie, I have an idea.

-Tell me.

-It's normal because we are not used to it, but we are struggling more than we should with the nickname thing. What do you think about playing a game?

She fights a smile and the competitiveness fills her eyes.

-I'm all ears.

Sure you are.

-We must say one of the agreed names at every natural chance we have. If we forget and the other notices it, the one that failed must drink a shot. It finishes when this night does. Starting from…now.

-Are you ready to lose?

-uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be ready to WIN once you take your first shot, honey.

She doesn't even deny it once she realises it.

-Let's keep on, babe -she quickly says after drinking it- now that we have stabilised where we lived and live now, how we discovered that we were in love?

-Well, you were the first one to take the first step. What kind of things make you act that way? As I said I know about your lack of patience, but being more specific…?

She seems deeper in thought while trying to figure it out.

-Well… the first thing that comes to mind is the other person avoiding the subject. I don't like receiving mixed signals and then acting like nothing happened; it confuses me and my anxiety gets bad. I need to sort out the situation because if not… I start to doubt myself and my criteria, like wondering if I'm seeing things where I'm not supposed to. Time and health consuming.

-That implies that I'm the one that gave you those mixed signals? -I assume.

-Yeah. It's realistic how hard it would be to change the kind of relationship from besties to partners. As reserved as you are, the absence of answers in that field fits you well. Being honest… you look like the type that doesn't care about this stuff.

I drink from my cup. Even if I try, I can't find a reason to feel hurt by her words. Yes, kinda reflects this image everyone has of me or what I guess I project.

What she says is true and hasn't the intention to hurt me, but it still stings something deep inside me.

-What's wrong? -she cautiously asks.

-What? - I feel lost.

-I can tell something is bothering you.

Should I say it?

-It's just… I -I do care about those things. Do I really give this cold impression that no one can imagine I have feelings too?

I have never felt so exposed, but her face changing from a disoriented expression to a warm one calms me.

-Of course not - she says softly reaching my arm with her hand- I mean… maybe if a stranger meets you for the first time you give disinterested vibes, but once someone has the chance to meet you they can see that you are just an observer.

-Really?

-Yes, Yoongs. I think your character is one of the things I like the most about you.

-Why?

She finishes her drink before answering, trying to get all her thoughts together.

-Sorry if you have felt this way and I didn't notice; what a bad friend I am. In my defence, you should have told me earlier -she playfully hits me- But I will tell you now and don't let it go up to your head.

-This is going to be interesting.

-Shut up before I change my opinion -she warns me with fully red cheeks.

- Sorry

-Maybe we should continue deciding the next step?

-C'mon, what were you going to say? Why do you like my behaviour?

She huffs a big amount of air, her face resembling a tomato once again.

-I think that the way you act makes you interesting.

-How come?

-When I see you deep in thought I can't help but wonder what you are thinking about. What is so fascinating that makes you dissociate? Which is your opinion on common things you don't outside-ly react to? Feels intriguing; a mystery yet to resolve. Your ability to remain calm in whatever situation it's reliable and comforting. You have your ways.

-I do?

She snorts while another cup of alcohol is served by herself.

-Of course you do. Min Yoongi, to my expert eye you don't have that many secrets. Maybe I can't figure out daily things but I can do the important ones. Like, I know how you don't feel comfortable giving away love words or contact gestures. But I know how you take care of everyone in every little way you can: acts of service it's called.

Nobody has ever told me they were paying attention to what I do to the point of noticing that. Feels new and exciting.

-You think that for real?

-Of course. Have I ever lied to you?

-There was this time in 12th grade when you snuck out to meet with… what was his name?

-That's irrelevant right now and that was just a little white lie. I'm sure you wouldn't like to hear me talking about the plan I had to escape through my window just so I can lose my virginity.

-That's true.

Fucking. Kim. Taehyung. Nice guy but terrible at managing his relationships with girls.

-Anyways… have I ever lied to you about something important?

-No that I'm aware of.

-Then just accept the compliment so I can breathe, honey.

She seems a little ashamed to have admitted that she likes my interior world, but I'm not one in the position to laugh at it: I don't know why but I find myself a little flustered. Seems like my own game it's turning against me.

-So… you pay attention to what I do or not, hm? -I joke in a flirting tone

-Not on purpose -she fights me while a deeper scarlet flourishes all along her face- most of the time it's just frustrating and I wanna hurt you real bad. Why would you give me the medication when hungover but offer them to me without looking me in the eye? Like it's nothing? It makes me feel ridiculous.

-Why? -now I'm concerned.

-Because… because…

What started as a joke seems to have touched a sensitive spot for her. Are tears what I see? She sniffles a little.

-Sometimes I feel like everything is out of my hands; like I can't keep everything in order without failing. Even this whole situation… I can’t resolve a struggle I made myself without other people's help. You are always taking care of me and I don't know how to pay you back. I feel useless and every time you help me, I just want to tell you that I appreciate the gesture… the way you act like "it's just routine" makes me feel weak and stupid.

-Oh sorry. I didn’t know you felt that way.

-No worries; how could you have known if I had never told you anything about it? You are not a mind reader. So… blame is on me.

Lately, I've been so focused on my work that I didn't take what my friend felt into consideration. I feel bad, even if all the hurting wasn't intentional. Sadly, I'm not brave enough to admit that if I act that way it's because I feel ashamed to show my genuine feelings. How much I care about her well-being and how endearing his little demeanours are to me. But I'm sure that she knows this and all she has expressed now is the result of all the pressure she is going through. I do the best that comes to my mind: I wrap my arms around her torso and force her to be part of the sandwich conformed by my strong arms and my chest.

-I'm sorry. Really, really sorry. -I wish for my hold on her to reflect how truly sorry I am.

I feel her body instantly relax. She feels warm while I feel cold; it must be the alcohol. Or it's just the physical representation of what we are. I don't know. All I know is that hugging her feels nice, right and the only thing in this world that deserves my attention now.

-You know Yoongles, I could never be angry with you. As I said, I know you enough to see the real you and is marvellous. You shouldn't hide it. I wish everyone were able to see your real side.

But you do (I want to say but don't have the courage to) and on Thursday- well, not Thursday but already Friday if we are exact- at 1:23 am, that's all that matters to me.

------------------------------------------------

A/N: Hell yeah, we love a sensitive king!

This must be a record hahaha. Since this one and the previous one were shorter, I thought that uploading double would be the right thing. I hope you still like it, and if not, please let me know in the comment section. Have a good day or night :)

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namboobieslover · 10 months

Text

Kintsugi: the beauty of broken things || MYG

Chapter 3

Pairing: musical producer! Yoongi x lab tech/science nerdy! f reader au; non-idol! BTS members make a brief appearance

Genre: fluff, angst, kinda slow burn (?), best friends to fake couple au, constant unresolved sexual tension, two idiots too proud to openly speak but pinning each other

Warnings: use of bad language, mentions of insecurities/low self-esteem, anxiety, trauma; light use of weed, little smut if you scrutinize, SFW

Masterlist: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // ...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER 3: We on, baby.

Word count: 2816

I wake up with a pounding headache as soon as I open my eyes in the morning.

-When will I learn to stop drinking? - I fumble to myself while holding my head between my hands.

Takes me more than it should but I finally get up, my reflection in the bathroom mirror remembering the bad choices of last night.

After a long shower, I feel again like a human being. After brushing my teeth the unsettling feeling in my stomach is gone.

I don't have much time to get ready, so I pick whatever clothing looks comfier and I start my way to the bus stop.

The trip gives me a few minutes to check my smartphone, answering some unread messages from family and friends but especially Yoongi.

The day goes slow, really slow. My eyes hurt when looking at the little samples through the microscope but the silence in the lab is exquisite. 1-1 in cons vs pros.

Even though my mind is a little foggy, it's a good evening. I'm able to keep a stable medium for the cells to grow and it seems like the replication of the environment is going as it should. Also, the culture I did to explore the possibilities of a virus as a treatment is growing nicely. My research is on the right path.

I finish around 9:30 pm thanks to all my good achievements and I'm really hungry.

The place I’ve chosen to order tonight's dinner it's the one with vegetarian burgers near my job; a lot of time has passed since the last time I ate here. I pick my favourite (the delicious plant-based), for Yoongi the one with veal and lastly, a portion of potatoes to share.

-Hi Minnie, how are you today? -the grandma who owns this place asks me- I haven't seen you for a long time; where have you been?

-I've been busy with work lately; my routine has been hectic.

-It's noticeable; you have lost weight and it is unusual to see you with eye bags. Aren’t you resting enough?

-More or less; it's a temporary situation. Hopefully next week things will come to their normal rhythm. But I really missed your food Mrs Lee -I speak honestly while pouting- You are the closest thing to my mother's food in this city.

-And you are my favourite client so please, come visit more even if it's just to have a coffee. I find all your science things interesting, as does my Sandra.

-How is she?

-She is studying every chance she has; your notes have helped her greatly. She also told me that you are available to answer her doubts.

-Yeah of course. It's an honour to be able to help another woman to infiltrate this amazing world that science is. Sadly there are fewer of us than it should be.

-I appreciate that so much… -she gets a little emotional at my words.

-What about you? How is it going with the knee replacement?

-Rest of my body it's still old but that knee seems like it has its own life. My younger grandson, Taeyang, says that I have become a transformer.

After a little more catch-up talk while food is in the making, I start my way to Yoongi’s apartment; 10 minutes away from here.

The walk is nice and feels super fast while listening to my favourite songs. Lately, that has been Namjoon 's latest álbum, Indigo. I swear, that man is a poet hiding behind his hip-hop style and a smoking hot body that seems little when he has a clumsy day. The lyricism of his songs makes my heart flutter and I'll never get tired of telling him.

One good thing about Yoongi's work is the fact that I'm able to meet new artists he is friends with, and learn about other cultures, influences and styles. He always introduces me to them and usually, it is really easy to be part of their little musician group even if I'm not that well instructed in that area. The group we all have is "pussycians" since half of those boys are afraid to let people get to know them (strangely that doesn't apply to one-night stands and I lectured them about it) and I'm a girl + a bunch of musicians boys. As you can tell, the last idea wasn’t mine but from Kim Seokjin, the older of us.

With "Still life" at its maximum level, I finally reach my best friend's door. I struggle a little but when I'm about to open it, it does by itself showing a dishevelled Yoongi. He scares me and I can't hear a word of what he is saying with the earphones on.

-Holy crap Yoongi, you scared me to death -I struggle to say still agitated while taking them off - one day you'll be the reason I end up with a heart attack.

-You were noisy; it's not my fault. You didn't listen because of the music. You'll be deaf before turning thirty if you don't stop using the highest level.

-Don’t you feel like, sometimes, with some songs, listening to them doesn't feel enough to you? Like… I wish every single note were able to enter my brain and scratch it internally till I can't think any more.

-Umm… I guess -he agrees with me a little confused, but entertained.

I enter his house with him closing the front door after me. I go directly to the small table that sits near the sofa; the usual place we eat instead of the main table.

-Which song was that good? -my friend asks while tearing the sleep away from his eyes.

-Namjoon's "Still Life". His latest álbum is incredible; you have hard competition, boy.

-Indigo is cool, but maybe I'm a little more into J-hope's "Jack in the Box". Kinda old school hip-hop, dark, rock vibes… but that's on my taste.

-Same but reverse for me, so I get you. I really like Hobi's main songs and even the intro with all the Pandora thingy or Equal Sign, but it doesn't exactly match my taste as a general artwork.

I unpack the food while talking about it and its smell makes my stomach roar.

-Is this from Mrs Lee's place? -Yoongi asks, finally awakened.

-Yeah. Told me to send you greetings in her name.

-Oh, she is so nice… Is her knee okay?

-Perfect. Little Tae told her that she is now half transformer.

-That kid is my favourite Mrs Lee grandchildren.

-Mine has to be Sandra.

-Of course you love her; she is a little you. Maybe not like you exactly; Sandra is less annoying.

He says that with a serious face, but after feeling my death glare, he can't help but smile arrogantly looking at his burger.

-I'm so glad I spilt on your food; I knew that sooner or later it would be handy and deserved.

-Don't worry honey boo-boo, nothing you do can disgust me -he answers mockingly knowing that I didn't commit such an act.

The rest of the dinner is chill. Some dating show on the TV and a light conversation about our jobs.

Once we finish the delicious food he offers me some dessert but I refuse. A little liquor some friend gifted him? Not that much. But it's understandable; it is a sweet creamy one that tastes heavenly.

-So…going straight to the point: let's talk about the plan.

-Well damn -I say almost choking on the drink- what do you wanna start with?

-Maybe…nicknames? That seems to be easiest between today's tasks -he says looking in a notepad.

-Is that a list?

-Of course. When we talked about it I took notes before forgetting due to alcohol.

-Let me see it.

"Free Minnie"

-I will ignore that name but you are an idiot Yoongles.

-○—○—○—○—○—○—○—○—○—○—○—○

"Free Minnie"

☆ 2-part plan

Day 1:

✅️ Partying together and pretending to be a couple.

✅️ Wearing clothes the other likes.

✅️ Getting used to holding hands and side hugging.

✅️ Getting comfortable being close to each other.

Day 2:

☑️ Accord lovey-dovey nicknames

☑️ Comfortably hug each other/being near/share the same vital space.

☑️ Practice:

Introducing each other

"Love story"

Pecks (????) 🤮🤮

-^---^---^---^---^---^---^---^---^---^---^---^---^

-Yeah, the nickname issue seems like the best fit for an appetiser. Do you have something in mind? -I answer kinda surpassed by all the tasks for today.

-For me or you?

-Whatever.

-What about calling you “my little pumpkin”?

-Are you kidding?

-No… Isn’t that what partners call each other? Some girls I dated read romance books where they talk like that.

-Well, I don't know. I never had that kind of relationship.

-Me neither.

We erupt in laughter. None of us has ever had a relationship that serious, meaning this stuff is new to us.

-Let’s start with me -I offer as an ice-breaker- I don’t know about what other people like, or you, but I’m not into clinging words. Pumpkin… is too much. I guess the better option is something on the classical side: honey, sweetheart or even Minnie since nobody calls me like that in my working environment. ‘’Babe’’ is acceptable if we feel comfortable enough with it.

-I’m not an affectionate person in speaking terms so…that’s perfect for me, honey.

I feel a slight shiver running down my body.

-Ugh, that felt weird without the sarcastic tone.

-To me too -he laughs- but we have to get used to it in less than 24 hours. Do you want another glass?

Then I realise that my drink is long finished. This liquor is truly dangerous.

-Yeah, this is delicious.

-It was a gift from one of Jimin’s travels. From the northwestern part of Spain if I’m not wrong.

-I envy him so much… he is always travelling.

-That day will come for us too, I’m sure -he declares while handing me the now filled (to the top) vase. He served himself some whiskey.

-You better be right Min Yoongi -I menace while gulping some of the hot liquid- Now… What about you? What are your chosen nicknames?

-It would be incredible if you called me “sexy monster” or something similar. That has one hundred per cent of probabilities to erase any type of doubt.

-If I ever get so drunk that the only option to get me sober is making me puke, repeat that phrase word by word, it will work.

He smacks my arm jokingly.

-Now, on a serious note… I like when you call me Yoongs, Yoongles or Yoon. And that also feels personal, don’t you think?

-Can do the work.

-I feel comfortable with babe or honey/handsome. But not baby; that’s a little cringe.

-I agree. I hate that.

-What’s the worst nickname someone has called you?

-Like… ever?

-Yeah.

-You are not ready for that, and I’m not drunk enough to say it out loud. Ask me later -I answer flustered with a playful wink.

-Don’t worry I won’t forget. Also… you tend to match inversely your lack of shyness with the alcohol level in your blood. This is going to be a fun night.

-Bla, bla, bla. Let’s keep going.

I take a bathroom rest that also allows me to change my contact lenses to the glasses. I don’t feel comfortable wearing them in public, so every day I deal with changing between both at my desk at the office of the lab, all to fulfil my work protocols and also my social anxiety. A routine I got during the pandemic time with the struggle of getting fog in the glasses due to the mask when sudden changes of temperature happen (such as entering a place, the bus…).

-I’m back, babe -I announce funnily stumbling a little with the rug’s verge. Seems like alcohol is silently doing its work- Let’s talk about how you fell in love with me.

He chokes on his drink.

-Yoongles, I was talking about the false love story.

-I know, I know. My brain is working a little slower than usual and it has a lot of things to process.

-I was thinking that keeping it real is the best. The easier, the better. You know how they say that the best lies contain some truth behind them. We can just keep the original first meeting and the school years like they were, but makeup something about college years.

-Like what?

-Aren’t you going to add something?

-Liberal arts -he excuses himself and shrugs- You are the brains, I’m the unpolluted taste. That’s how we always work, sweetheart.

I roll my eyes.

-We can explain that in the urge to reduce expenses, we decided to become flatmates. Living 24/7 made us realise that we are perfect for each other and it was difficult, but we took the step a year after. How many years are socially accepted to date before getting engaged?

-Two? -he answers, as lost as me.

-Maybe… four?

-Isn’t that a lot if we had met in high school?

-That’s true.

-What about three?

-Three is it. Who decided to take the first step in the process from friends to lovers?

-Maybe you? You have 0 patience and probably your colleagues know it… Honey.

-Yeah, sounds like me -I have to admit.

-About establishing a relationship… that fits me better. You are impatient but insecure; you would have a hard time getting the confidence. Same for the engagement?

-First of all: I’m not that insecure -I start getting kind of riled up- Second-

-Before you continue, let me ask you something. For how long have you owned those glasses?

-Mmm… around two years I think.

-Then, how is this one the first time I see you with them?

I don’t have to answer that because he knows.

-If not that, then answer the following: what do you think about yourself? Do you consider yourself pretty?

Is this what a deer caught in the headlights feels like? How can be asking this so suddenly while keeping the calm front that characterizes him? He is so annoying.

-That’s what I thought -it angers me a little to see how sure he is about that premise- Do you want a refill?

I was so nervous that once again I had finished my drink.

-I think I’m ready to try something stronger -I challenge him.

-We on, baby.

A/N: Sorry I've been missing but uni has me on constant house arrest omg. These ones are shorter but we are getting there. Hope you like it and hope you have a good night/evening... Feel free to give some feedback :)

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namboobieslover · 11 months

Text

Kintsugi: the beauty of broken things || MYG

Chapter 2

Pairing: musical producer! Yoongi x lab tech/science nerdy! f reader au; non-idol! BTS members make a brief appearance

Genre: fluff, angst, kinda slow burn (?), best friends to fake couple au, constant unresolved sexual tension, two idiots too proud to openly speak but pinning each other

Warnings: use of bad language, mentions of insecurities/low self-esteem, anxiety, trauma; light use of weed, little smut if you scrutinize, SFW

Masterlist: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // ...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER 2: We are boyfriend and girlfriend, dude

Word count: 3373

Yoongi has never been the kind of person to be openly warm with other people; he feels a lot more comfortable by subtly taking care. Something like sitting with a drink and listening, cooking if anyone has an upset stomach or picking you up if your car is in the shop. Small things that speak volumes.

He also isn’t very vocal about his needs or likings, but neither fears being bold about things he doesn't like. He thinks that's one of his best features: his honesty. Maybe his words sound dry, but they never come from bad intentions because Yoongi is not cruel; he just wants the best for his friends. If that implies hard love, he'll do it.

Whoever knows him a little bit knows that. He also does. Unknown people, on the other hand... usually take him for a bitchy personality and a big mouth that is only open to hurt everyone around. It’s one thing that has marked him throughout his life and deepened his introverted nature. Some would even call him cold or heartless, so he sometimes just gives up and acts that way, thinking ''if that's how little you think of me, there you have it and make it double".

But then, there's you. His Minnie.

No one has as much permission as you to make a fool of him. Whatever wall he tries to put between you and him when he's mentally slumping, it’s not big or fat enough to avoid your powerful ability to make him speak about his concerns and feel as exposed as if he were naked.

No one can make him feel the urge to hug or give warm words to another being like you do, even when you are behaving stupidly, and all you deserve is a reality check. But he... He just can't. Of course, he would never admit it out loud, but it's not indispensable; both of you know.

Any outsider would think you hate each other, judging by your daily bickering non-stop and being brats even when one of you is struggling, but that's just how your friendship works. Under all that mockery, there is a hidden endearment, only shown by how eyes become fond when the other it's not looking.

He knows that you love him and that he loves you too, and you also know. There's no necessity to speak those words when you've felt them since your first meeting in that music classroom.

He knew he was on a ride since day one by the way your brows furrowed when he opened his mouth to say a sassy remark or by the number of times your eyes rolled at his mere presence. Befriending you was hard, but so far? Not an ounce of regret for his choices.

That's why he, once in a while, catches himself wandering in his studio with confused thoughts lingering in his mind. Lately, writing about feeling stuck and lost has been easier than ever, and he wonders if it's somehow (but probably not) related to the fact that your friendship is all he can think about.

He is preoccupied that nobody is going to understand him like you do. That perchance, once both of you find love, your friendship is destined to lose some of its strength. But would he stand that?

The light-skinned producer knows how lucky he is to have you; he is a lucky son of a bitch. He doesn't understand how you can stand him even when he can't stand himself, but there you are with a warm smile and a hug (that won't be accepted openly, you know it) plus, HE DOES understand something: he will do whatever it takes for never risk losing you. To never see you leaving his side.

That's why, when you come to his studio that evening, stomping with a hurried breath and furrowed eyebrows, he knows he’s about to have something to do for you. He was expecting something different and is a little surprised by the matter you established, but as your best friend... he’s not the one who's going to say no. Not like he could.

He wants to help you as you do daily by taking his dark thoughts out of the way, and that's why he agrees with the two-step plan, even if his social anxiety has been peaking this week. That's how much you mean to him.

Not gonna lie; he feels a little ridiculous while walking to your flat wearing all the pieces of clothes that you so meticulously described in your text. He also feels ridiculous while holding your hand because his body feels warmer than he thought, but he blames it on the alcohol, no matter how little the amount is.

But all this shameful feeling disappears when he eyes you walking back to where he is after dropping your coat in the wardrobe. Have you always looked that good in that dress? He knew that it would be the right choice because he had always seen you pretty in it, but tonight... There’s something different on your face, but he can put his finger on it.

"Once this stunt is done, I urgently need to get laid" Yoongi thinks, mindful that his penis is the one thinking instead of him. "Bad timing; tonight is not the right moment".

Perhaps, after all… that dress wasn't a good choice. He is not the strongest soldier; where he puts the eye, he puts the bullet... And you look dangerously too much like a graceful prey for your own good.

He would never admit it, but maybe… some flirting is being done. As more alcohol enters his system, less and less ability he has to restrain the playful mood and himself. At one point, his mouth speaks quicker than his mind, and that's how he ends up disclosing you the bet.

Maybe, in his twisted unconscious, he thinks that if you get angry with him, all this weird situation will stop, whatever is going on. But instead of being filled with anger, your gaze shines a bit more. He would have never guessed that being told directly that someone wants you, instead of grossing you out, would set something similar to desire in that pretty head of yours.

That ignites something inside that takes him by surprise, and when his eyes can't leave the swaying of your hips on your way to the bathroom... He knows he is in trouble.

You have talked about sex plenty of times; your friendship is quite open around that issue. You throw jokes and some bantering on this subject to the other, but never anything serious. Also, he has never dealt with a playful and drunk you all by himself while he feels a little drunk too. This is unknown territory.

When deciding if the unsettling feeling in his stomach is good or bad, a masculine voice interrupts him.

-Can I give you a recommendation? -is the bartender that has served them all the drinks tonight.

-Yeah, why not? -Yoongi shrugs.

-Grow the balls, man. It’s painfully messed up the way both of you approach each other.

-What do you mean? She...she is...my girlfriend.

-Girlfriend as in a couple or as a friend that happens to be a girl? Because of the way it looks, you don't know the difference between both things.

-What do you mean? -Yoongi has nothing to lose while waiting for you.

-It's simple -the bartender answers while shrugging and cleaning a vase- the chemistry is there, but you have to be more straightforward. She seems oblivious to subtle hints.

Is our acting so bad that even a stranger looking from afar can see it?

-I wasn't flirting with her -Yoongi jumps with both hands in a defensive stand but sits immediately- well, because, you know… we are far gone from that stage. We are engaged -he says out loud for the first time.

-Sorry then. I must have gotten the wrong impression. It’s just… the way you act seems like two recently-in-love persons. So… you just are hardly whipped by her, mh? The way you mock and smirk at her is one from the books.

-Which books?

-How to escape from the Alcatraz that friend zone seems like. You have probably already gotten farther than where your expectations laid at first, but you behave as if you are still surprised by the fact that she reciprocates your feelings. You have to get out of that mindset. Being insecure isn’t a burden for yourself but for your partner too. Insecurities make daily stuff unnecessarily complicated.

Yoongi rolls his eyes at that. He can't admit that the only thing between you two is amity because this night's main task is to look more like a couple. That prompts him (now that the situation is less stressful) to step up his acting.

-Listen, man -the barista speaks again- I'm sorry; I didn't want to bother you or get myself into what is not my thing. It’s just that girls like that -signals between the sweaty bodies dancing for Yoongi to find you dancing with eyes closed in your world, unaware of the eagle-like gazes some other men are throwing you- are hard to find. As are shooting stars on a winter night. She is a bomb. You are lucky to have her in your life. If you let this opportunity slip through your fingers, you'll always regret it. I've been there. Her name was Sophie.

-What happened between Sophie and you?

-She just grew tired of waiting for me to make a move on her or whatever, and only when I saw her with another man I realized how much I loved her. Sadly it was late; that boy wasn't as blind as me, thus, he knew how to take care and appreciate all his good features. He kept her and the last thing I knew about, was that they were marrying. I had to block her; it hurt me a lot to see how happy she was living while I couldn't stop wondering how life would have been If I had opened my eyes earlier.

Wow, Yoongi wasn't expecting such a heart-to-heart confession by this stranger.

-Sorry to hear it -he articulates.

-Yeah. Guess time heals everything. They say that things happen for a reason. I haven't found mine, but one may be how today, I'm here to tell you all this; trying to avoid you a life-changing mistake. Whatever it turns out to be, I wish you the best of luck.

-You too -Yoongi nods as a goodbye.

This conversation has him feeling a little dizzy somehow because the bartender's words made the fear of losing the most precious thing he has in his life real but also made him confused. He knows you are a girl, but after so many years, his brain hasn't noticed ALL that implies. For him, his Minnie is his buddy, one softer than the rest, but his buddy after all.

He has never seen you in any other light than as a little sister. Yeah, you are hot all dolled up, but apart from appreciating your beauty, he never thought of you… in that way.

Funnily, he can't take the whole destiny thing out of his mind. Everything happens for a reason. He does believe it, especially because your friendship was born the day a mistake put you both in the same class. His entire life always felt like an alignment of casualties that luckily went well.

His brain cells are working at full power (too much to handle) when he is finally near you; the only thing that pulls him like a magnet between the ocean of bodies. What does this night have that seems to cast him under a spell?

Softly, his hands lay on your small back, trying not to scare you or break the entrance you are in. Still, this act makes you jump till your head is turned to him, evident fear on your face dropping once the familiarity of your best friend comes into sight.

You seem happy to see him and show by how a big smile is full on display. Suddenly touching you feels too much, so he drops his arms.

-Sorry for not coming back. Those girls -you signal behind you a little group or women around your age that wave at Yoongi- were super nice and invited me to join them on the dance floor.

Your warm breath tingles in Yoongi's ear, who shivers a little under your touch on his shoulder and closeness.

-When did you meet them? -he asks more recomposed than he feels, in the same way you did to be heard in this noise.

-On the bathroom. That place is always good to make friendships after throwing a compliment here and there.

-Did you feel the necessity to find more friends? Am I not enough?

-I wanted to dance, and last thing I knew, it’s not precisely your favourite thing in the world.

-Is not but 1: I drank enough to lose some of my dignity and 2: I guess as your "boyfriend" -he marks the world rightly- is what I should do my honey boo-boo.

He bops your nose to accentuate the joke. Expecting the typical smack on his arm, he is surprised when your face lights up with fun and a sheepish smile decorates your mouth.

-Let's see what you have in store, buddy, but don't disloque your grandpa-like hips in the process, please.

-I'm just one year older than you.

-Well, time to act like it -you add, winking.

At the start, Yoongi feels a little uncomfortable, but soon that's replaced by calm. Both of you are vibing to the rhythmic music and grinning at each other. It's been a while since the last time you were able to relax a bit and not think about anything.

Some men fight their way to you, something that seems to be making you uncomfortable, so he feels the need to put himself as a barrier. You notice that and thank him without words.

Even like that, one of them reaches you and starts to talk in your ear. Yoongi tenses at that, but not long after, you are brushing off the boy without a bat of lashes. He sometimes forgets how fierce you are.

-Everything okay, Minnie?

-Yeah, don't worry -your words say different than your face; doubting eyes and inferior lip between your teeth- I was just thinking…

-That we suck at all the couple acting?

-Exactly that -finally a smile.

-I thought the same while talking to the bartender. Maybe… if you are okay… should try to improve it?

-Yeah, that would be nice.

He is hesitant, making you take the lead. He has never danced with you like this intently. It takes a little, but the right pace comes causing your bodies to be pressed together.

You see something over his shoulder that has you sighting tiredly and tensing the muscles.

-What? -he asks, preoccupied.

-Nothing. Just that asshole again; I don't know how to make his little brain of him to understand the message.

-Guess that's my cue to throw some hands -Yoongi feels the anger flowing through his entire system.

You hug his frame to stop him, and the next thing you do, take him by surprise.

You turn in his grasp, pressing your back in his front. His hands are doubtful but embrace nicely your waist, feeling yours securing that hold tighter with a graceful touch upon his skin.

-See, sometimes things have a solution without the need for fighting. Does this feel awkward to you?

-A little, but we should come to terms with it before Friday.

-Right.

-Still… I want to punch that idiot in the face.

You laugh, making his body resonate with yours.

-Just… ignore him.

One of your arms keeps its place above his, but the other flies right to his neck, pressing your body impossibly closer. Your fingertips brush sensitive skin that hasn't been touched in a long time.

The travel they do up, till they are messily rolling the long hair of his neck, makes him senseless of the world around you two. It feels nice.

He unconsciously nears his head to yours, making you giggle with the tingling of his long hair on your skin. He giggles too.

-Your hair is longer than ever.

-Maybe, but not for long. They will make some changes on behalf of the photoshoot.

-I like it now; that length fits you well -your fingertips comb through his black mat.

The dance continues all night, awkwardness long forgotten. Before you know it, it's time to leave the disco. Walking hand in hand to get out without losing the other, cold night receives you.

-Do you wanna take a taxi?

Yoongi asks himself the same question. "Do I?".

-If you aren't tired, I would like to walk better.

A night walk seems like the best, and you nod in approval. Even if he still feels the heat of all the dancing, he has to admit that the cold is coming for him, which manifests in a shiver.

You must notice because you unconsciously move your body to come closer to his. Your gentle grip around his arm with yours feels warm, and in the weird but comfy bubble that surrounds you two tonight, he reaches for your hand without a doubt, locking them together.

The chat till your place is around the new songs in his mixtape. He doesn't want to tell you that you have inspired a crazy amount of them, but how you look interested in the whole process (even when you have listened to it thousands of times) warms his heart once again. Enough to make him absentmindedly caress your knuckles in a circular motion with the thumb, something he becomes conscious of when your door is on sight.

-You can stay if you want to. Or call a taxi and wait for it here -you offer.

-I have to get up in a couple of hours anyway, so I will go to my house to take the stink of partying out with a shower and ingest the biggest coffee cup in history. A walk to wake up should help the cause.

-As you like. Then, this is the end of step 1 in the plan. How did you feel?

-Hate to give you the ego boost, but you were right. This was useful. Now I don't feel like throwing up seeing that ugly face; just a little nauseous.

And here it is, your signature smack.

-It was better than what I anticipated -he says now on a serious note- Maybe this will go well.

-Yeah, maybe I won't be unemployed by Monday -you joke- thanks again, Yoongles.

-You are welcome -he replies with a grin that sets one similar on you.

You detach yourself from his side, leaving a cold feeling that has him shivering where your warmth was.

-Text me when you get home -you point him with the index, in a threatening stance.

-I'll do -he answers, grabbing your finger funnily and turning around.

-Oh, wait.

That stops him in his tracks while you make your way inside hurriedly. Once you come back, it’s with clothing in your hands.

-I know your pigheadedness, but I don't want you to catch a cold. Not like I care for your wellness. I am still in need of someone to play my fiancé, y'know? -you explain playfully.

-Of course, of course -Yoongi follows your stunt.

You wrap a soft black scarf and a matching beanie that smells like you around him. All Yoongi does is eying you like this was the first time he is looking at you.

-What? -your eyebrow rises in doubt.

-Your makeup looks terrible right now.

Your reaction is to simply pull the beanie over his eyes and flick your finger at his cheek.

-Remember, text me once you get home.

-Okey, mom.

-Bye -you bid him from your doorstep.

-See you tomorrow.

Yoongi walks in the cold night back home, but all he can feel is the warmth of your scarf and beanie.

Everything is fine.

A/N: I hope you are liking the story so far. As I said in the first chapter, uni is biting my ass. Literally, this has taken me 3 days, taking time from here and there, to fully review, so... sorry for taking so long.

Feel free to give some feedback whatever is good or bad, and thank you for liking or sharing, I appreciate that a lot. Have a nice day!

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namboobieslover · 1 year

Text

Kintsugi: the beauty of broken things || MYG

Pairing: musical producer! Yoongi x lab tech/science nerdy! f reader au; non-idol! BTS members make a brief appearance

Genre: fluff, angst, kinda slow burn (?), best friends to fake couple au, constant unresolved sexual tension, two idiots too proud to openly speak but pinning each other

Word count: so far, almost 25k but still unfinished

Warnings: use of bad language, mentions of insecurities/low self-esteem, anxiety, trauma; light use of weed, little smut if you scrutinize, SFW

Masterlist: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // ...

A/N: hi there! this one it's my first story to be uploaded, a way for me to de-stress from uni exams. I'm not a native English speaker, so please forgive any grammatical mistakes :/

As Yoongi said, you have to put your work out there to learn about it, so... feel free to give some feedback (as positive as you can, please). The story is halfway done, but as I have to proofread most of it and apply the holy Grammarly, uploading will have a normal pace

I'm not fully confident of my writing abilities or English use, but it is what it is, I guess

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CHAPTER 1: Surprises and planning

Word count: 7'1K

-Sup, loser.

-Hi

I roll my eyes while I flop into the sofa.

-I mean... I'm not asking for big parties but, you know, a little more enthusiasm when seeing your bestie wouldn’t hurt. Don’t you think?

The only answer I get is a loud exhale of air.

-Someone is susceptible today…

Min Yoongi.

We’ve been friends for maybe… 15 years? And what a ride.

We first met in high school, at the sweet age of 12/13. With all the hormonal stuff and changes going around… such a happy stage of life to remember, yikes.

We didn't have anything in common; he was an artistic soul while I considered, or I would like to consider myself, as a science girl. But little me saw too many talent shows with great singers and decided to give it a shot.

-Hi! It’s here where the choir practices?

-Yeah, here is where all the magic happens -I would’ve never expected such an ironic answer from such a cute-looking girl- Are you new or lost on your way to another place?

-New or that’s what I intend to be. I signed the paper in the hall and someone emailed me the instructions. Told me to come to Mrs Lars's classroom.

-Oh, then you are in the right place. She is in the storage room looking for the materials we’ll be needing today.

-Okay class -a sweet voice fills the room interrupting our conversation- please take a seat.

I signal the seat next to the girl asking nonverbally if it’s taken, and she answers that it's not occupied.

-So… today we have lots of new faces. Instead of having personal interviews with each of you, I thought that maybe it would be better and easier to have you join us for today’s lesson. That way you’ll see how we work, a light version of course. After I dismiss the class, as I told you in the email, please stay a little longer and perform a song of your liking. Any questions?

A boy asks if they have to stay at the auditions if they aren't new.

-If you want to, you can stay but if you prefer to leave, that's okay too. That reminds me: for the ones that aren’t new, welcome back; I'm happy to see you again. To y'all my pupils, I wish for a good and healthy year. Any other doubts?

Silence is the answer.

-Then, we’ll start.

The 60 minutes pass fast. The teacher is really fun and makes all the music technicalities more approachable to everyone in the room. We play some games to get to know each other's names while learning a little bit about music structure.

-Well done. That’s all for today. See you next day.

A lot of students start picking up their books and bags, and I bid goodbye to Nelly, the one with a loving face and a smart mouth. She is… interesting to say the least, but also nicer than expected.

And friendly enough to ask my dubitative ass to exchange numbers…

Now, the moment of truth: the audition. Not gonna lie, nobody here will be the next Céline Dion but they are okay. That makes me even more nervous, and it shows when my turn comes. Luckily (ironically) I'm the last one. My voice is shaky and even if I am doing terribly, they all keep a smile on their face, which I thank deeply.

Like everyone else, I don't receive any type of feedback from Mrs Lars. She just tells us the following.

-Thanks to any single one of you for showing interest in my subject. Everyone will be accepted in this class; the “audition” was just a formality to classify you in the range that fits you the best. Music is a language that unifies all humans, and even if most of them haven’t been gifted with an incredible voice or the ability to play an instrument, I won't deny the chance to learn it anyways. There’s always a role that fits you the best and I’m sure that while communication runs in both directions, we’ll have a good year. Today you saw how my class works; if you still want to join me and your classmates, the only thing needed is to send me an email by the end of the weekday to confirm it. I will reply with indications, information and advice to improve your natural talent and I want you to practise for a couple of weeks to get used to that routine and the work method. Then, you’ll be divided into groups with people who share your characteristics to work together with the things in common and have healthy feedback. Also, you can ask me when needed or use the music studios to train. I’m sure your parents will thank me -she laughs- Does that sound good?

-Yes Mrs Lars -we answer in unison.

-Ah, and also, if you don't think this is your thing and want to choose another activity, that’s okay. Not receiving the mail of confirmation I previously had talked about, will be understood as the desire to not continue. Feel free to do it if you want to; no hard feelings. This will take a lot of energy and free time, so… make sure that all the effort goes to something you like or you’ll end up despising me and music itself. Any questions or doubts?

As nobody speaks, she dismisses the class.

It took me a couple of days to decide whether I should join music or look for another option, but animated by my parents and the possibility of this helping me with my scenic fear, I choose to keep going with the idea.

Apparently, my vocal range is mezzo-soprano-contralto, which is why I have a difficult time in a higher register. Once I knew that, everything changed for me. Singing was easier and less damaging; just better. I wasn’t that good but for once I felt like my efforts were taking me somewhere.

I still needed a lot of practice, so I would usually spend some time during lunchtime (with the teacher’s permission) doing so in the rehearsal room. Unluckily, one day when I went to my usual spot, the class was already occupied by another person, so I met with my teacher to know what had happened.

-I’m sorry sweetheart, it’s my fault. I have such a big cold that the headache is making my head pound and I can’t even think straight. Would it be inopportune if I reserve the room after class so you don’t have to skip today’s practice?

-That sounds good too.

-Okay, then I will write your name in the folder -she says reaching for it hung on the wall. She seems a little confused when looking at today’s schedule

-Isn’t it possible? -I ask her.

-Oh no, everything is fine. Seems like I’ve already written the reservation in your name earlier. Must’ve forgotten to tell you when I did that, I guess that just in case, to offer you a resolution to this problem.

-Then, I’m noted to the main classroom after class?

-Yeah, you are good to go.

-Thank you.

As told, I went to the said place and started my warming exercises. After some scales, I tried “Million Reasons” by Lady Gaga, struggling with the highness of the bridge. I was stuck with that part for some days by then, and my frustration was almost visible in the form of smoke outing my ears.

I was on my…¿20th try? When an unknown voice scared me when the song finished.

-Well… that was…interesting.

-Fucking hell, you scared me.

-Not more than you did to me with your vocals.

-Excuse me?

-Apologies accepted.

Is a boy around my age and size. He wears rectangular glasses and a mostly black outfit, which contrasts with his pale skin perfectly. His eyes are quite small but ooze tons of coldness. He impassively walks to the piano in the corner and starts to get things out of his backpack.

-Mmm… What are you doing?

His dark orbs peer at me with a pensive aura, but he dismisses those thoughts and gives me rolling eyes.

-Practising.

-Yeah, I could have guessed that.

-I am not the one asking the stupid questions here.

-What I meant -he interrupts me by playing some notes- As I was saying -he does it again.

I approach the instrument he is in and put down the keyboard cover, giving him enough time to retract his hands. Ups his sight and boy, is a furious one.

-Are you crazy? -he shouts- You could have harmed me!

-Chst, nobody with two functional cells doing synapsis would have that bad reflexes so please, stop crying, you little baby.

-Excuse me?

-Apologies accepted -I deliver the sentence the same way he did to me, with a pompous smile on my face while I sit proudly in a nearby chair- Also, you deserve it. That’s what you get when trying to mess with me.

-Oh, was I disturbing you? Sorry, I didn't want to. I’m so distracted -what he says in a pitying tone doesn’t match the challenging look in his eyes and the smirk he isn’t even trying to hide.

-I can tell -I bark back the same way- Anyway, as I was saying before you decided to be a cretin, what are you doing here?

-Judging based on your singing skills maybe…you aren't aware that this is a music classroom? You know, where musicians do their thing -speaks ironically

-Of course I know where I am. My doubt is what are YOU doing here at this time. I made a reservation with Mrs Lars.

-Me too.

-That’s impossible.

-No, it’s not. Since I did. You must be wrong.

-No, you are -I fight a little offended.

He rolls his eyes.

-Okay. Let’s search the classroom schedule Mrs Lars keeps in her office and you’ll see your mistake -decides while clapping his hands together and getting up.

-You must mean YOUR mistake -I clarify while imitating his gestures.

I follow him to said office, where he signals to a folder hanging on the wall. He goes through it while searching for today’s schedule and once he finds it, aggressively puts his finger in the initials “M.Y”

-As I was saying, you are the one wrong -he says proudly.

-What? Those are my initials!

-No, they are not. They are M.Y. as in Min Yoongi.

-No, they are M.Y as Min Young Mi.

We look at each other kinda confused.

-I guess Mrs Lars must have committed a mistake while writing our names because of the similarities -he thinks out loud.

-You think so? -I reply as ironically as I can. He rolls his eyes.

That evening was the beginning of what we like to call “The Valerian War”. As stubborn as we were, any of us was willing to give in to the other. None offered to leave or neither changed the reservation for the evenings that followed, so we played mental resistance war, and it got so bad that we needed some valerian infusion to support the evils that we did to each other so that the other would surrender.

Some favourites were him cutting my microphone wires or playing a recording of my voice on the school’s radio for everyone to listen to. I gave back by making good use of a 2x3 glue thrift offer. I was almost sent to the other world when he had to walk back home with the piano’s bench cushion glued to his butt or with music sheets united to his hand.

Eventually, with little acts of kindness by both sides, we started to open up and help each other (he assisted me in musical stuff while I improved his anger management) and we reached the point where we were looking all day to that moment of the evening. It took almost a year and a lot of Nelly’s talks to finally admit that we enjoyed spending time together. Slowly but surely, we started meeting out of school till becoming besties. We had a lot more in common than we thought.

-Call me stupid but-

-Stupid -he interrupts me without hesitance.

-Min Yoongi, be careful with your words, I have your mom on quick dial.

-So childish that is almost sad.

-Would she think as childish that you signed a big contract with an important company and didn’t say a word to your family? I guess I can just ask her -my tone is a mockery one.

The keyboard typing stops followed by a dry laugh.

-You dirty bitch. Must be desperate to threaten me with that.

-It’s just that… I’m frustrated.

-Sexually?

-No. Well… That too. But no.

He quietly laughs.

-Maybe I can lend you a hand.

-Yeah, in my neck to cut the flow of air? -I ask acidly but then my black humour needs to make an appearance- Actually, that’s not that much of a bad idea. One lifetime occasion where I would let you commit the desire of killing me without getting angry about it; I promise.

-Mmm, kinky. If that’s what you want… -he spouts with a teasing tone and a smirk.

-What?

I’m no stranger to letting my intrusive thoughts win over me and make it aaaall the way to my mouth without realising it, so when he answers I have to replay the last section of our conversation to understand what he means.

-Ugh, you are disgusting.

-Yeah. I think how disgusting it is that I know you so well, that I am genuinely not surprised about you having a choking kink.

-I… I don’t have a choking kink -I defend myself by putting a brave face on when I actually kind of like that stuff.

-Yeah, right -he answers in a disinterested way, turning back to his computer- Just so you know…next time you try to lie as much as you are doing, tell your red cheeks to not make an appearance. It gives it away.

I take advantage of him not looking at me to raise my hands and check if they are matter-of-factly red, which are. I clear my throat in the need of changing the subject.

-Till now all you said has been really helpful, you know? -I say rolling my eyes

-Till now you still haven’t said a word about your problem, apart from your need to get laid, of course.

-The thing is that I messed badly with my boss -I purposely ignore the last sentence and he lets out a little laugh because of it.

-What makes you think that?

-It’s not something she said or did. Actually… It's my fault.

-I doubt it… but would you mind explaining? -he still has his back facing me while clicking the unwired mouse, something that will make the next thing I have to say a lot easier.

-Do you remember when you got appendicitis and had to stay at the hospital? And then when you needed help when sent home?

-How would I not remember?

-Well… The thing is that to convince my boss, which I already told you, is a hard one… I had to lie. A lot.

That seems to catch his attention because finally turns to face me.

-When you mean a lot, how much are we talking about? You said everything was okay with you taking those days off.

-I think we have already established the point that I am a ‘liar, liar, pants on fire’.

-So… What did you tell her?

-Mmmm… I knew some of my coworkers asked her for some days off because of a friend or a relative being sick, and she always rejected them except when they talked about fiancés, husbands or sons; that kind of stuff. So to make her accept my petition, I made her believe it was about my fiancé.

-You said what?

-I basically said all the truth but omitted that you are only my friend. I completely made up a story about my hardworking fiancé, who fell sick, and has no other family around than me to take care of him… It was a little white lie, but when I was back to work everyone was nice to me, even my boss.

-Why don’t you tell them that you broke up?

-That was my plan, I swear. Buuuut, I started to talk a little bit here and there about him being an asshole, like getting ready to break the news, you know? Buuuuut that made them even nicer to me! Never knew criticising a partner would unite us that much.

-My surgery was last year…have you been lying to them for that long?

-Yeah…

-And didn’t they suspect anything when a year passed and still no wedding was in sight?

-Yes, but I explained how as we were both busy with our respective jobs, trying to save money for it, and having some trouble in our relationship… had decided to take it easy.

He seems lost in thought, with the elbows resting on the armrests of his chair and fingers brushing his chin. Then laughs, crossing his arms over his chest.

-Well, well, well. When I think that you cannot surprise me anymore, here you come.

-Yeah, really funny how this will end with me getting fired.

-Don’t be silly. They’ll never know.

-That’s what I thought till my company decided to celebrate a ball to raise funds for their project about breast cancer. And everyone expects me to bring my said fiancé to meet them.

-OMG you are such a loser.

-I don’t know why I came here expecting some support. Seems like today is not the day you want to deal with my stuff -I get a little angry because he doesn't understand how bad this is and how much I’ve been stressing the last few weeks trying to find a solution.

-Minnie, you know that’s not it -he quickly answers.

-Don’t worry. It’s my fault. By now I must have put in my mind that while you are working don’t wanna be bothered by others' banal stuff -I recollect my bag and start my way to the door.

I feel his hand wrapping around my wrist, trying to stop me.

-Stop it. I don’t wanna bother you.

He sighs and uses that hitch as a way to put me closer to him and after that, sit me again on the couch.

-Yeah, you are a pain in the ass, but even like that… you’ll never bother me when it’s about struggling with something, so… don’t say that.

-That’s how you made me feel.

-And I’m sorry about it. When it comes to words, we both know that I’m not the best to be sensitive.

-Except with your lyrics -I half-joke to reassure him.

I feel bad to react this way because he has a life too and here I am burdening him with my problems; all because I am so weak that I drown in a cup of water.

-Yeah, except for my lyrics -says way softer.

-Ugh, I’m so messed up -I groan while hiding my face between my hands and laying back.

-Yeah, a little bit but, what are you going to do?

-What do you mean?

-I know you, so I expect you to have something in mind already -he says palming one of my knees while still sitting in his chair.

I drop my arms to my sides, tired.

-No. Well, technically yes, but not anymore.

-What?

-I had a plan but not anymore because things didn’t go the way I expected.

-How is that?

-Don’t wanna hear you say anything about “I warned you”.

-This is going to be good -he whispers loud enough for me to hear it, but after giving him a death stare, motions his mouth getting zipped and throws the key away.

-The obvious solution is to have someone pretending to be my fianceé. After wondering who would be the best option I asked Jim to fill that role because, you know, we were kinda hooking up.

-What did he say?

-Like cartoons. I was almost able to see smoke in his dashing foot.

-Told you so -whispers again with a smirk.

I want to save energy, so my only answer is to roll my eyes. It's not like I could deny it because he, in effect, told me that.

When I started to meet Jim, equally scared of commitment as me, Yoongi warned me about how he would never be the one for me. How under the sweet gestures and amazing chemistry, we were only two people wasting time. How he could, maybe, let me down when I truly needed him. He wasn’t wrong. While explaining this whole issue to Jim, he was losing all the colour on his face because I told him that he would have to pretend to be in love. Pretend. I didn’t love him either but I was expecting the both of us to put on a little show of it.

But Yoongi knows that behind the façade I put saying that I don't want serious business, the reality is that I'm just searching for the right person to let my defences down. But to find it and as a scientist, I must do trial and error. Right?

-Then I contacted everyone in our group but all of them are occupied with close notice, and since my family is away, I can’t ask a cousin or something. Not to mention how weird it would have been -I shake my shoulders trying to shake the disgusting image of my mind.

-What about a random person or a gigolo?

-I don’t have enough time to teach somebody the full ass history of how we fell in love or the money to pay for it. Also, I'm trying to avoid paying for another human till I'm 70 and alone, with the only company of my 5 cats. Thanks.

-That’s all?

-I started to pretend that I’m falling sick to have an excuse, but everyone seems suspicious of me. If that doesn’t work, I’m fucked up. For real. That’s my last chance.

-As I see it, that’s not your last chance. You forgot about something.

-I did?

To say that I am confused is an understatement.

-Yeah you fool -he smiles widely and reclines in his chair with crossed arms.

-I…don’t…follow you.

-Me.

-You what? -My confusion is at the ceiling level.

-Me -He repeats with open arms- You forgot me.

Is this what I think it is?

-Stop frowning -and I do at his call- I can't believe you didn’t try to ask me.

-You are joking, aren’t you?

-No -he turns to the computer shrugging.

-Wait, wait, wait -I turn him to face me by the armrest- You, Min Yoongi, THE Min Yoongi, are offering to be my ‘date’ for an event at my workplace?

-God, don’t put it like that. But yeah, the answer is yes. I don’t know why it seems so unbelievable to you.

-I didn't ask you because: 1) I was ashamed, 2) you and I aren't precisely the most comfortable with touching or sweet words, and 3) and the main: aren’t you visiting your hometown this weekend? I know how much you’ve been looking forward to it.

-Yes, I was. But you are crazy if you think that I would let you lose your job for it.

-But you’ve worked so hard… you deserve that break.

-Listen and stop being stubborn. I know that your job is as important to you as mine is to me, not to mention that if you are in this position it is because of me. So… the fair thing is to be the one helping you out of this situation.

-You realise that we will have to pretend that we are in love, right? -I say carefully.

-I pretend that I like you every day so, I don’t think it will be that hard.

I know he says it to make me laugh and take the iron off the matter, but I can’t help smacking his thigh while giggling.

-What preoccupies me is you; would you be able not to fall in love with me?

We both laugh, knowing that it’s impossible.

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I’m completing my look with sparkling earrings and I look at myself in the mirror. Not bad.

I’m wearing what I consider my slutiest outfit: a baggy long-sleeve dress with a deep v-neck and which long is mid-thigh. The cloth resembles black silk but falls beautifully around my curved body, adjusting in the places it should to remark my features. I added all the sparkly accessories because they contrast greatly with my tanned skin and the dress itself, but I guess all seems blurred compared to my boobs. Those girls are looking great tonight.

My hairstyle and makeup are a little basic, but enough to make me feel pretty.

While applying perfume someone rings the doorbell. I’m ready on time, so taking all my stuff and a false pink fur coat, I open the door.

I have to admit it, he looks stunning. Yoongi is wearing black skinny jeans with a white t-shirt tucked in, black combat boots and a green bomber jacket. All prettily completed with silver accessories and his long ginger hair slightly gelled back on the sides. My favourite look on him.

-Why aren’t you wearing high heels?

That comment is enough to get me out of my trance, but I understand it; that’s the only part of my outfit on display.

-Is bad enough to be wearing ones for the ball, so yes, thank you, I won’t be torturing myself tonight -I explain as I close my house with the key.

-You were the one who had the idea of dressing in the clothes the other likes most.

-I’m wearing everything you asked for except for the heels. Relax.

-Let me see.

-Hell no, it is freezing here. You’ll see once we get to the discotheque. C’mon.

-I don’t trust you. At all -he whispers but follows me to the taxi stop.

This is part of the amazing plan we made together on Tuesday night. Not the best idea but…it will have to do the work.

The ball is on Friday so we have a couple of days to make us believable as a couple. Tonight, Wednesday, part one is in development. We’ll go to drink (a lot) and dance in a public place and act as partners in love. Is like practice for the real situation and luckily, as I suggested, dressing in a way the other likes will make it easier to dissociate the image of best friend that we find disgusting to act in love with.

We have two days to be comfortable with holding hands, him holding me for the small of my back, me hanging into his arm, hugging and… kissing. Not fully making out, like little pecks. Or at least that’s the order both of us come together to decide as necessary to give the ‘’living in the honeymoon stage of relationship’’ vibes.

Tomorrow we will work on our love story, pet names and all that stuff. Maybe we’ll have to buy some alcohol for it too.

-Should we…maybe…start? -he asks, looking the other way.

-I think I need a couple of quick shots before.

-Thank God, me too -laughs.

I signal to a bar near us that won’t make us change our direction fully, and he agrees.

-Please, four shots of tequila -Yoongi orders to the bartender, and I am grateful for that amount.

Since I am the one using his help, I want to invite him. He gives me bored eyes and tries to take my money away from the counter, but I push him a little bit and open my coat to let my neckline on the view of the young bartender.

-Please, accept my money. You can keep the change as a tip -my voice is as sweet as I physically can and I bat my eyelashes. It works because he takes my money a little bit flustered and his only answer is a nod. I laugh to myself and close the coat again, turning to my friend, who is downing his first little vase.

I take one making cheers in the air before ingesting the hot liquor.

-You know… what you did is not fair.

-What do you mean? -I play dumb.

-You know what I mean -he says before drinking his other drink- That poor boy… I would be surprised if he doesn't end up hard as wood.

-Why is that bad? Dozens of men look at my ass or boobs without any intention on my side or dressing to “provoke” them. It’s not my fault that in this patriarchal society, women are so fucking sexualized that men think it’s okay to do it. He would have looked at them anyway if I weren’t wearing the coat so excuse me for using that in my favour instead of against me - I drink my last shot.

He looks at me kind of speechless, but after clearing his throat he says “When you are right, you are right”.

The cold air receives us in the street, but the burning sensation in our stomachs is a great contrast. We decide to go walking to the discotheque since it isn’t that far and after ten minutes of comfortable silence, I start to feel the alcohol quicking in in the form of an unexpected laugh.

-What happens? -Yoongi seems confused but laughs too.

-This situation… is ridiculous.

-I know.

-But again, thank you. You are saving me from a good one. I owe you.

-Don’t be stupid, we are best friends. You take care of me and I take care of you. That is how we have always worked and how it will always work.

-Wow, alcohol is getting into you too? You are speaking mindlessly.

-A bit. A long time has passed since I last drank something; work has been… crazy.

-Same for me. Maybe it is a good moment for…you know.

-First step?

-Yeah, first step. Are you okay with that?

-Of course.

We look at each other's hands and making a brave move, I'm the one initiating the motion. His are colder and slightly bigger but feels surprisingly comfortable to intertwine fingers and sense his even colder rings brushing with mine. That heat difference sends a shiver through my body.

It’s not like we have never held hands in other contexts. We do, for example, while walking in a street full of people or in a comforting situation and stuff like that, but it is our first time to do it without a physical or emotional need.

-How do you feel? -I ask cautiously.

-Weird, not gonna lie.

-Me too.

-But it’s not the first time we held hands and I have to say that luckily you feel warm.

-Yeah, you are freezing man -the tension weakens and we start to walk again, still hand in hand.

-I forgot my coat and when I realised I was already too far. I expected to be in a taxi and drunk so I didn’t take it so seriously. Now I’m regretting my choices.

I can’t stop a laugh and he does the same, showing a gummy smile.

-I can work with that. Grieving for my frozen-to-death fiancé is a good excuse to go to the bloody fundraiser alone.

-Then, who would listen to your nonsense anxious babbling?

-You aren’t my only friend, you know that right?

-They simply can’t compare. Even Nelly.

-Yeah, they can’t compare because nobody reaches your level of pettiness.

-That’s what we have in common you and I, my friend.

Our bickering continues till we reach our destination, where it is time to start the practice. Reading my mind he offers his arm for me to cling to it while still holding hands; a typical pose of couples who’ve been together for some years.

-IDs? -the bouncer asks us.

Once he checks that we are above 23 (a way to only let in adults) the heat receives us when we cross the door. The decoration is beautiful and serious, way different from what we are used to.

-Everyone here seems a little off, don’t you think? -Yoongi asks me.

-Yeah, I guess the age requirement takes away the younger spirit. You know this place is for people who want to have a good night but not that “wild”.

-If this is what awaits me once I establish a serious relationship, I’m definitely staying single.

-Bold of you to assume that you’ll find someone who can keep up with your antics. It’s not like you are turning love proposals all day.

His elbow pinches at my ribs for making fun of him and I laugh.

-You are one to talk… Also, I have some game so… your words don’t offend me miss “Please help me because my ashole of a hookup can’t even pretend to be in love with me”.

-Yeah, that was because he knew that once he started pretending, it wouldn’t be pretending anymore and I’m too much of a woman for him.

-Sure -his eyes are mocking me.

-Let’s grab some drinks, stupid.

He straightly asks for a whiskey, his favourite drink, but I order a rum with coke. He offers me to taste it and I’m dumb enough to do it, gagging at the flavour.

-You have an easy gag reflex, maybe now I understand why Jim dumped your ass so easily.

-Don’t worry hun, it’s only related to alcoholic drinks and he surely dumped me but my ass felt a great loss to him -I cheer my drink with his.

He gives me an unreadable stare while swallowing the odd savoury liquor.

I hate to admit it, but he looks smoking hot tonight. I can’t put my finger exactly on what it is, but something of him making dark humour about Jim while staring at me in that mockery way and gulping whiskey like water… is entrancing. Am I that sex deprived or what?

He frowns one eyebrow trying to guess what's on my mind and just the possibility of him being able to decipher my thoughts has me blushing.

-Is hot here. I’m going to the wardrobe to leave my coat - I excuse myself while getting up from the stool.

-Want me to accompany you?

-Oh, no. Don’t worry. I don’t think it will take me that long.

I join the wardrobe queue a little anxious. Just thinking of what awaits me these days stresses me; it’s really out of my comfort zone. I take the coat for the smiley girl behind the counter to take it.

-Wow girl, you are stunning.

-Thank you, I hope my… boyfriend thinks the same -the b-word gets a little stuck in my throat.

-If he doesn’t… take him to the doctor. That would mean he has his sight damaged. Or better, come back and I’ll make sure you have a good time -she says winking and giving me a little key with a number.

-I’ll keep that in mind -I answer a little flustered and return to where Yoongi is waiting.

He is turned to face me, elbow resting on the bar and cup playing in his hand in circular motions. He eyes me up and down and licks his lips, and I have to put all the effort in me to keep walking like nothing and not choke on my air.

He must have noticed my nervous state because this time, decides to directly ask.

-Oh, I was a little shocked -I answered because… well, that is true- The girl in the wardrobe made a move on me suggesting that if my partner doesn’t like me or something, she will take matters herself to give me a good time -that is also true.

-She did?

-Yeah, why is it so hard to believe? -I am a little offended and I chug down the rest of my drink.

-Not that is hard to believe, but… Do you like girls or something now? -he seems genuinely curious, trying to assure me that anything I say next, will be well received from him.

-No, this isn’t me coming out; sadly I’m still into men. Just… is nice to have someone complimenting me even if I’m not into girls -a change in his gaze is noticeable, and that’s what makes me realise that maybe he feels like I’m implying something else that I’m not- Anyways, I thought that she was nice and a funny anecdote. Do you want anything else to drink?

I can almost see him shaking his head to get rid of whatever was going on there and nods, chugging the remains of whiskey, which makes his Adam's apple move up and down. He has a nice side profile, I’ll admit that too.

Once we have refilled our vases, we start a little conversation about our works and how excited he is that his first mixtape is in the final steps to be published. Only the photos and the design of the cover are missing, which will be arranged on Friday morning, previous to the gala.

-I can’t believe that you didn’t let me listen to it.

-I want you to see the final product, to see the full concept like the rest.

-Still… I can’t believe that you are doing this to your very first fan. I guess from now I will have to fight with all your new fans for a little attention.

-Like you ever had it… -he smirks and I hit him in the arm.

-Maybe I should start stanning other rappers, Namjoon is doing great with his mixtape. At least he appreciates me a little bit.

-Yeah, he would appreciate having you under his sheets. Well, he and the rest of the boys of the studio.

-Don’t be silly, we are just friends.

-Yeah, because no friends in history have ever hooked up, right?

-Not me at least.

-Because you are good at friend-zoning without even noticing. It’s really fun to watch them all try to have a date with you. I will tell you more, we have a bet going on.

-What? Stop joking.

His gaze is devilish, but his face remains serious; that’s how I know that he is being honest. He funnily grins while drinking and I just blush.

-Seriously? I don’t know Yoongi, that seems fake.

-Kinda is, kinda not. At the start, when they first meet you, they, believe it or not, wanted you as something more than a friend. After some time trying and failing, they accepted that it was impossible. However, it is still a joke to make moves on you to see if you notice but I know that if you give them any signal, they would be moving their tails like the dogs they are.

-That's what the bet is about? For how long has it been going on?

.Around… I don’t know. Two years maybe?

To say that I'm speechless is an understatement.

-Who’s in that bet?

-All the group?

-Even… you?

-I guess… but I like to think of myself as a judge in all this. It wouldn’t be fair to them if I played at their level since I’m your best friend.

-Oh my god, you are so full of yourself.

-Why?

-You think you can win against the others with that dumpling-like skin and that skinny body of yours? You wouldn’t be able to handle me. Jungkook or Namjoon? Definitely.

-I would prove it to you, but once you get a taste… you can’t go anywhere else.

Scarlet cheeks are my only answer to that.

-And what’s the prize of that bet?

-Free pass with you if you want it too.

-Ugh, and you are part of that?

-Now you are the one full of herself. If I win maybe I’ll be able to trade that for some equipment my studio is missing.

-I’m not an object you can use to “trade”.

-Of course you aren’t. Of course.

He pats my head messily and I can see a glint of fun in his eyes, which in Yoongi’s language means that he feels a little tipsy. He’s not the touchy type at least he has some alcohol flowing through him.

Honestly, I know that I should be a little angry with this whole bet thing but I am not. Yes, is a little weird that all of them are in this but at the same time… I know they would never hurt me or take advantage of me in that way. Also, I have to admit that sometimes I do second checks of them because… holy cow, they seem like some greek marble-carved figurines that came to life. So.. am I the one to blame?

Not to mention how lovely and protective of me they all are; I can’t remember a time when I didn’t have had their support for whatever stupid thing I was trying or a warm hug if I needed it. I guess this thing is a friendly joke I wasn’t aware of but thanks to alcohol-induced honesty in Yoongi…I’m going to have MY fun with it.

-Now that you have told me this, who has won? You are destroying it.

-I suppose the first you flirt back to and I told you because… two years?? At this point, we all know that the bet was never going to end. Why? Now that you know, is your interest in any of those assholes?

-Maybe…

-Who? -I know this caught him by surprise.

-You will have to give me more drinks and a couple of dances to know that. Decide your strategy while my trip to the bathroom -I laugh at him and make my way to the service room.

I’m not interested in any of them, but as I said, it’s my turn to have some fun with it and poor Yoongi, he’s my first victim. We have some bond to do to look like a couple, right? Well, I will take this as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

->Chapter 2

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