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ocsunsets89-blog · 4 years
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My eyes weren’t feeling all that great today. Residual from my diagnosis. After losing central vision in my left eye (which is how my doctors caught the MS), my eyes have always felt “funny”. I notice it every so often, the eye that was impacted the most feels like there is fluid build up behind it. The best was to describe it is a nagging feeling, like someone is pushing my eyeball from the inside. I’ve since regained vision in my left eye but it is not 100% and never will be. I’ve noticed that my eye will blur after an intense workout but rest helps. I’m very interested to try improving my gut health. Gluten free, gut friendly, anti inflammatory diet - here I come!!! (Pretty sure gut friendly IS anti inflammatory) 🤷🏼‍♀️... I don’t mind doing a bit more research if it means longer remission 🤞🏻🤞🏻
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ocsunsets89-blog · 4 years
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I’m thankful for every day gifted to me that I still have this luxury. The gym has become the biggest stress relief for me over the past few weeks! I’m 231lbs standing at 5’6. I’m not giving up on my goals for a healthier me! I start my meal prepping and dieting on Monday! Anti inflammatory diet focusing a lot on multicolored veggies and antioxidants. I am determined to not let this diagnosis win. My children are my biggest motivators.
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ocsunsets89-blog · 4 years
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So it has been quite some time since I followed up with this account. I’m now about to be 31. Weight loss efforts failed as in 2017 I was diagnosed with relapse remitting MS (RRMS) and became pretty depressed. This is one of the more common forms of MS. I believe about 80% ish of people diagnosed are diagnosed with this type. I got into a weird funk I guess you could call it. I ate my emotions, lost interest in a lot of things and was dropped from nursing school for academic failure. I felt like an absolute loser! I truly felt like my kids had a loser for a mother and it hurt more than anything. Fast forward to now - January 2020 - I am working as a nurse case manager, I am going to a Community college for my Science courses and a private college for the RN bridge program and I’m taking back my health little by little. With the grace of God, I have not had a relapse in well over a year and it is still uncertain if the “relapse” that I had was even a relapse at all or just my anxiety. I have taken my anxiety and depression head on thanks to my AMAZING Neurologist. My anxiety was SO bad following the diagnosis to the point I was needing Ativan to calm me down almost every day. Thanks to the antidepressant I am taking (that also helps the anxiety), I haven’t needed my Ativan in close to a year 💪🏼. I used to get depressed and down about the diagnosis and the uncertainty of this disease. Now, though it is still scary, I realize it is a manageable disease that like most, require lifestyle modifications. (I honestly think the scary part of this disease is that, as a nurse, you don’t really see those who don’t have much deficit. You see and care for those who are relapsing or succumbing to the disease entirely). I promise to keep this blog for anyone who wants to follow me in regaining my life! I hope that it can bring inspiration to those newly diagnosed and peace to those already kicking MS’ ass!!! Much love y’all! Til next time
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ocsunsets89-blog · 8 years
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Self loathing to self loving...
Since graduating nursing school and passing my PN boards... I'd had another baby (6 months old at this time), back in school chasing my RN, full time nurse in long term care. Gained a substantial amount of weight in which PCOS does not allow me to lose at a decent pace. Gone through a husbands infidelity, believing yet again we can work things out. I'm 27 years old and my body feels so tired all the time. My husband is 12 years older and can do circles around me. I've gone to the doctor to address my concerns. Awaiting lab other lab results. Testosterone levels are elevated with low prolactin levels. As a nurse, I realize what this could be and know it's heavily linked with my PCOS. I just want to feel normal again. I want to feel like my size shouldn't define who I am. I start to think this way, then the harsh realization of the scale brings me back to reality. My weight is an issue. It's effecting my family life and my social interactions. I do not take pictures of myself. I do not like being photographed. I don't like undressing in the mirror or in front of my husband. I've always struggled with my weight. Brief periods of extreme dieting and "pushing the limit" exercises (if you weren't about to puke, you're doing it wrong. Or so I thought). Only to be discouraged after not losing enough weight, and binge eat everything I've missed out on with my crash dieting. I'm back to dieting and exercising. I've enlisted the help of fat burners and vitamins on top of utilizing my Fitbit and its application. Keeping my carbs under 40 for each meal (3), keeping my snacks light and nothing but water or green tea after 9pm. This is my journey to a better body and hopefully a happier and healthier me. I hope that maybe my progress (if any) may help others out there with a more severe case of Distorted Body Image.
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ocsunsets89-blog · 10 years
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Goin back to Jersey
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ocsunsets89-blog · 10 years
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<3
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