oh-surprise-its-me

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Hiii as I said on my other account.. I’m not dead! Just highly unmotivated! But posted this! Hope y’all like it!

sooo I’m not dead! Here’s a new fic!

#sladick #damian wayne #dick grayson is damian’s biological parent #slade wilson #dc universe #dick grayson #mac writes dc

[oh-surprise-its-me]

SHUT UP EVERYONE LOOK AT WHAT PHANIE MADE OH MY GODDDDD

@oh-surprise-its-me

So, seems like discord is misbehaving again, him and his "you've got a new message, oh, wait maybe not there's nothing there" So I'm gonna post it here and hopefully fix it soon.

(My drawing stylus for the phone broke, fingers are not as simple to use...)

Behold! Sweet babies having a lazy morning like they absolutely deserve!!

(Yes please, someone give Lu baby a lazy morning with his husband please-- oh wait... I write them too!)

#lucas benton #david benton #thinking about David cooking food for Lu cause Lu burns water #Lu is absolutely wearing David’s shirt #David being the softest guy in the world even though he looks like he’d beat anyone up

[oh-surprise-its-me]

I’m about to be so irresponsible and slutty.

Me in a Walmart checking out these two at the same time

#dick grayson #nightwing #dc #sladick

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Me in a Walmart checking out these two at the same time

#deathstroke #slade wilson #dc #mac rambles #this is my personality summed up

[oh-surprise-its-me]

SHUT UP THANK YOU SO MUCH DARLING

Ugh never getting over Ron and his baby (Tokyo)

She’s an absolute star and I love her, you truly brought her to life in the best way!!

Might I be able to ask for Ron finding a big dog on the side of the road and having to take care of it by himself until Tom and Chris get home because he knows his boyfriends would never forgive him for leaving it.

He might get lightly bit. It’s only a small little mark on his arm but Tom freaks. Chris is less freaked but makes him go and get a rabies test. Ron might almost drown giving it a bath. He’s soaked through by the time they find him. The dog doesn’t really like to listen to Chris or Tom. It ends up mostly Ron’s dog. He begrudgingly ends up liking it.

Hey dear!!!! @oh-surprise-its-me

It got a bit out from the prompt but... there, Ronnie baby finding Tokyo, who will become his future service dog ❤️❤️

Took a while but hey! I know what having a dog feels now!!!

Ron had no intention to do that. Ever.

No way at all.

He got used to it. Them.

All the dogs and cats and things Chris managed to get home, accidentally or not so much, but him? Voluntarily doing it?

Nope. Not a chance.

Except---

The dog was looking, staring, at him from the side of the road, chocolate eyes staring right at his soul and ears pulled down, tail tucked beneath the paws.

Submissive. Scared. Terrified.

Traumatized, Ron's mind supplied, and he hated it with a burning passion because as he stared back he felt like he knew those eyes.

Sighing he moved closer. The dog did growl, but she didn't snarl at him.

She trembled as Ron lifted a hand slowly, maybe expecting to be hit, but she didn't cower.

Yeah, Ron knew that too.

"Hey... brave girl."

He whispered, letting her sniff at his hand before crouching in front of her and slowly, tentatively, patting her head.

She whined.

"Come?" He found himself whispering, scoffing just slightly, he was out for a jog, not to do what Chris always did, bring home rescues. "My boyfriend would have my head if he found out I left you out there, girl. And my other boyfriend would try to guilt trip me too."

He stood and moved a couple of steps away, but she didn't. Instead, she lifted a paw, crimson red was matting the golden fur.

"You're hurt, mh? Hurts to walk, I guess?"

He stepped closer again and lifted the dog in his arms.

"Be good and don't bite me, okay?"

He muttered. In response, she put her head on his shoulders, cold snout against his neck.

Trust.

She trusted the first stranger who showed a bit of kindness. It reminded Ron of someone. Of himself. When he met Tom, and Tom was the first kid not to pick on him.

"Alright... I guess it's-- alright."

No one was home when he got back with the ball of fur half his size and not as light as she probably thought she was.

"Let me give you a little bath and wait for Chris to see that, mh?"

Ten minutes later Ron was drenched. The dog was drenched. And Tom's cat scratched Ron on the cheek when he tried to move him out of the room.

The door opened and the first thing Tom and Chris saw was their boyfriend sitting in the middle of the bathroom, with water everywhere and a dog that wasn't theirs sitting in front of him with the injured paw on his leg.

"I... can explain?"

Chris remained serious only for a moment before grinning and moving to pat her.

For the first time, she growled. Ron was in between in a heartbeat.

"No no no Tokyo it's okay. He's okay. He's good."

Chris took a step back.

"He's good. I promise. I promise."

The growl turned in a soft whine and she pushed her head against Ron's shoulder.

"Okay." Chris agreed. "Okay, I leave you to Ronnie. She seems to really like you."

"She acts like him, Chris, it's different. That's why she trusts him."

Obviously, Ron thought, Tom would pick it up that fast.

Tokyo whined again, and moved her paw.

"But I don't know how to do it, chrisy is the expert here. Let him see the paw?"

It took a bit of coaxing here and there, a little snarl, and some more cuddles before Chris managed to disinfect and wrap the paw.

"So... mind telling us what happened? How did you find yourself with a dog, baby?"

Ron hesitated. Tokyo was curled on the couch, snout pressed against his side, asleep.

"Found her on the side of the road... thought you two wouldn't forgive me if I left her there..."

"Of course, we would've forgone you, baby."

Tom interjected softly.

"And she looked scared. But not of me somehow..."

"She looked like you when we met. Wary, but craving something nice."

Ron didn't admit that.was what he thought at first. He knew Tom would notice.

Chris just smiled, he shifted closer and pressed a kiss to his temple.

"I guess she's yours, now. Or you're hers."

Ron couldn't help but smile slightly, his fingers buried in the soft fur between her ears.

"Guess that's it now..."

"Why calling her Tokyo, anyway? I mean, it's a good name, but--"

Ron blushed.

"Tried to make her sit several times, but she only agreed when I said it in Japanese."

Of course, leave it to Ron to try to make her sit in several other languages.

#ron slider kerner #tom iceman kazansky #chris seresin #ron x chris x tom #tom x ron x chris #top gun #top gun 1986 #aki writes

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Everyone I’m so so sorry I’ve been so behind on requests a lot has happened the last few weeks.

But!

Tomorrow I’m hoping I can catch up and write! I might take my laptop tomorrow or just on my phone but!! Thank you to everyone for being patient and I promise I’ll try this week!!

#mac speaks

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Roy/Jamie Prompt: How do they deal with heartbreak? Maybe they were together but Jamie didn't want to be a secret. I'm picturing Jamie eating ice cream or something, miserable when maybe there's an announcement (leaked letter, press conference) when Roy let's the whole world know that he's madly in love with Jamie.

... *Jamie Pikachu Face* 😁

Oh ouch yeah definitely

—

“And on Entertainment tonight folks we have the breaking story about Roy Kent when we come back.”

Jamie stares at the tv. He’s eating ice cream. So not on his meal plan but one night of misery won’t ruin him.

The only thought in his mind is Roy cheated on him publicly. He sniffs. Sinks a bit deeper into the couch and pulls the blanket around his shoulders tighter.

“And we’re back! Now everyone knows Jamie Tartt has been his project for a while. Best friends even. But now we’re learning they are actually together. That’s right everyone Jamie Tartt is off the single list because he’s dating Roy Kent!”

Jamie drops everything he’s holding. No. Roy wouldn’t of. There is no way.

“Recently posted Instagram post from rarely used Roy shows the two on multiple dates and even a photo of them in bed together… we can only dream of what that looked like.”

Jamie tosses his blanket off and sets the ice cream on the table. He races into the hall to grab shoes when there’s a knock on his door.

He rips it open to find Roy. “I’m sorry. I was a prick. You are right. I… I was afraid for no good reason. I’m sorry I said what I said. Please forgive me Jamie?”

Jamie can feel the tears streaming down his face and he throws himself at Roy. He’s caught and Roy’s hand touches the back of his head. “I love you. Of course you’re forgiven. But Christ that was a dick move earlier.” Roy shakes with a small sob.

“When you left I thought you were never going to come back. I couldn’t deal with that idea. I know I said I didn’t care about being out but you do. So we’re out. We can do whatever we want whenever.”

Jamie leans back and grins at Roy. He gently brushes a tear off of Roy’s face. “I can kiss you after matches?” Roy smiles at Jamie, his Jamie. “Yeah. Sure. Anything you want.”

Jamie pulls Roy back into the house and kicks the door closed, “I do forgive you Roy. You know that right?” Roy winces and nods. “Yeah. I fucked up though and it’s okay if you’re still a little mad.” Jamie shakes his head. “I’ll be more mad if I don’t get to sleep next to you tonight.”

Roy leans down and kisses Jamie. “Whatever you desire baby.” Jamie takes his hand and drags him through the house and into the bedroom. “Hold me?” Roy nods. “Always.”

They drift off knowing the interviews are going to get insane but knowing it’s all worth it because they get to be themselves.

#ted lasso #jamie tartt #roy kent #jamie x roy #jamie tartt x roy kent #roy kent x jamie tartt #royjamie #roy x jamie #mac writes ted lasso

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Unhinged screaming and crying

It’s so good and I can’t wait for more oh my god. Literally going to think of this all day. So many thoughts.

The omegaverse au grows...

It's not a nice story so far. Nick is not a nice alpha, and neither is mav. But nick mostly likes to guilt trip Ron so much, ever since Ron was younger and nick basically bought him.

Ron is an omega, younger than in canon (I'm thinking of setting this au in the one where Ron is the same age as mav, just because. It will make tom even more protective.)

Tom is still Ron's pilot, he would like to scoop him away and ran, but he can't, needs to be careful.

(Chris seresin be there too. He's an Alpha already with a bond to tom. If possible he will be even more protective.)

(Also... I don't write smut, usually. Please, mercy....)

@oh-surprise-its-me

Not every Alpha, Ron told himself. Not every alpha was like that.

Nick wasn't like that either, in truth, Ron  convinced himself staring at his reflection in the mirror,  the bruise around his eye carefully concealed with enough makeup that his skin would appear normal. Untouched. 

Nick was like that because Ron pushed him.

He knew his alpha was jealous,  he knew he made a mistake when he chose to become iceman RIO and take his distance from him. From his alpha! His mate. Hos protector. Because that was Nick,  at the end of the day. His savior from a father who cared nothing. The beacon in the darkness that took him away from an almost certain early death. Nick bought him, he saved him, he even gave him a chance to fly. Not many omega become navy aviators, it was because of nick if he had the chance. And how did he repay him? He left. He walked, flew away with tom. Like the stupid omega he was. It was normal Nick was angry now.

But Ron would make it alright, he said. Ron would make amend for that.

There was a new alpha strutting beside nick. He was small, physically looking more like an omega, but the smell, oh it was unmistakable.  Everything about Maverick screamed alpha so very loud and fast.

Ron, on the other hand-- 

"He still smells like Iceman."

Maverick's voice was almost a whine coming from the bed. Ron flinched.

He showered carefully, he used the soap Nick chose, despite the pine smell being so strong and he really didn't like it. Plus, it itched on his skin, for some reason, but he wouldn't complain, Nick liked it, and he would use it.

"I know, Mavi."

Ron could hear a barely concealed growl in his tone. He didn't move. He waited.

"Come here sweetheart. Let's get that stench away, mh?"

He didn't smell tom on himself, he was sure, so very sure, and he knew because he missed his smell, but he couldn't refuse, there would be consequences,  bad ones. 

He shuffled on bare feet back in the bedroom,  allowed Maverick to grab his hand, wrap his fingers around his wrist and pull him on the bed. He bit his shoulder before Nick even moved. Nick laughed, his hand in Ron's hair,  grasping, pulling.

"So eager, my little alpha."

Ron felt blood trickle from his shoulder.

"I like how he tastes, Goose. can you blame me?" He looked like a predator, grinning, licking his lips, passing his tongue over the bite. "It's all your fault, you made me taste him once. You should've warned me Omegas were addictive. I've never had one before."

Like Ron was a meal or something. Nick pinned him down. Training would start in 30 minutes--

"Don't worry about that sweetheart. We'll make sure you're nice and presentable for that. and Iceman will know who you belong to. We only lend you to him because he needs a RIO, and without you in his backseat things would be so boring here."

Tom could beat them even without him, Ron knew that. He remained quietly careful not to let it slip out.

"Say, Mavi... do you want the honor? I'm... I feel generous today."

Ron felt Maverick shift over him, he could feel excitement wash over the younger Alpha. his fingers digging into his arm, it would leave a mark, Ron knew. But it would be covered by the flight suit, and anyway everyone knew he was an omega, and as any good, proper one he had to please and bear the marks his Alpha left on him. It should've been proud of showing them. And he was so lucky, he forced his brain to think, he had two Alphas taking care of him.

(He didn't want to. but oh, he would show off any mark Tom would ever decide to put on him. Except Tom never left marks, Tom was careful, Tom was oh so gentle. Tom, he delusionally thought to himself, truly loved him.

"Don't worry, I'll be gentle, You'll even be able to sit after."

"Oh Mavi... You've always been such a softie." Nick chuckled. "But you shouldn't worry about that. just have all the fun you want, look at him, he exists only to please us, why care if he can or cannot sit after?"

"We have a debrief. It would be so distracting to have him squirm around because he can't sit still. Just imagine all those hungry ones in the room eyeing him, Goose. Can't have that."

There had been a time Ron thought Maverick could be more like Tom, gentle, nice. How silly of him to think that, Nick showed him around, he took him under his wing, how could he be different from him?

"smart, yeah. well honey, have it your way, then."

For a brief, fleeting moment, Ron thought he would warn him or something. he hoped, because he promised and-- 

But maverick was Nick's precious baby alpha, Ron should've known better than trust any word coming out of his mouth.

He bit him, again, on the other shoulder, Ron suppressed a moan, biting down on the pillow. He penetrated him without warning.

Ron yelped, shame washing over him at the sound he tried so hard to keep to himself.

"Careful Mavi. Don't fill him up, even though that's what such a pretty omega deserves. Save it for after , when we're off deployment."

"But won't he be sent with Iceman?"

Goose growled and with suppressed laughter maverick thrusts grew faster.

"He's my... our omega. After this, Iceman will have to find a brand new rio."

Maverick grinned, bit down on him again, exactly over the previous mark, licked the contour, sucked hard, enough to bruise. 

"Ours?"

"Ours." Nick confirmed. "And you will have your nice little pup. Give little Brad a brother or sister to play with. Hopefully our sweetheart will be good enough to give us a little alpha, mh?" 

He didn't want a kid, Ron thought. He never wanted one. Not with Maverick. Certainly not with Nick. Not even with Tom-- Well, maybe if Tom asked, he-- kids were troublesome, even more in their line of work. A kid meant he would not fly for an extended time, and carrying a kid could-- it could kill him. Break him. He saw it happen. Besides, he wasn't cut to be a parent, he had no idea where to start, not with the kind of father he had. The father who sold him off to Nick to begin with.

"I said, you will be good enough, yes?"

Nick grabbed his hair and yanked his head back. He whined.

"Come on sweetheart, he asked you a question." Maverick said, his voice dangerously close and sweet.

Ron nodded.

"Let us hear your voice when you answer honey."

He opened his mouth again to answer when Maverick thrusted faster and deeper inside of him, on purpose, he knew, and all Ron could do was let out a loud moan.

Nick patted his head with a chuckle.

"Well, that's good too. so good, right Mavi?"

Maverick was wrapped on him, the height difference almost painfully obvious, but crumpled on the bed, left a moaning, sweaty mess, it was so clear that Ron was so much not an Alpha like he tried to pass the very first day, before Nick set his eyes back on him and decided he let him off the hook for far too long and he wanted that rightfully his omega back to himself. Sharing him with Maverick was almost obvious.

A couple more thrusts before Maverick raised his head slightly.

"Turn around baby, I want to look at you."

It took a bit of trying, with Maverick still holding so tight.

Ron's face was flushed red, half- lidded eyes staring at Maverick.

"Please..." He whispered, he wasn't even sure anymore what he was praying him for. Release from that torture? to finish him? fill him until he blacked out completely? His mind was blank already, and the two Alphas both knew.

Maverick seemed to think of it for a moment, he smirked.

"Open up."

If anything, Ron's eyes grew wider.

"Not your eyes baby." he chuckled, he moved slowly. Put his thumb in Ron's mouth.

"We don't want to make a mess, right? because you know what happens if you make a mess. So be good now baby. Be good and swallow it all."

Ron felt choking as Maverick came in his mouth.

"God, Mavi... you really know how to bring out the best look on him, don't you? So damn pretty."

A couple longer seconds before Maverick pulled out and looked at him satisfied.

"Clean yourself up, quick. we have a lesson in 10, we won't be late because our omega needs some care."

Hard, almost cruel, so different from a moment ago, and yet not that much, Ron knew.

"Are you okay?"

Tom asked, purposely ignoring Nick's low growl from where he was sitting in front of them, Maverick leaned back in his chair, relaxed.

"I'm good, Ice." His voice felt weird, raw, his throat hoarse, lips still red and swollen. He heard Chipper inspire harshly when he walked inside next to Tom, he knew why. Jesus, he must be smelling like Maverick so damn much.

"Okay." Tom said, slowly. He wrapped an arm around Ron's shoulder, but in a quick movement, Ron moved himself. 

"We-- you can't." He muttered, not even looking at him. "Please." 

Reluctantly, Tom dropped his arm off of Ron's shoulder. Goose grinned.

#ron slider kerner #nick goose bradshaw #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #omega ron #alpha mav #alpha nick #alpha tom #omegaverse au #dark nick and mav #top gun

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Roy x Jamie prompt: Jamie had to go in for a minor surgery. It's the night before and Jamie's been joking about with everyone, being okay, but once it's just him and Roy, Roy swiftly takes Jamie to bed. They lay facing each other, Jamie in Roy's arms. Roy doesn't say anything, Jamie sobers, and then actually cries and admits to Roy that he's really scared. Roy doesn't give him the obligatory assurances, he just proceeds to kiss Jamie breathless and make love to him tenderly. They go to the hospital the next day, the surgery goes off without a hitch and Jamie after anesthesia is hilarious.

Hehehehe yes yes yes yes yes yes soft Jamie and Roy makes me lose it

—-

When Jamie wakes up he can’t feel his fingers. Or at least he thinks he can’t. There’s something holding his hand down. He flails his other arm around to try and see what’s happening.

“Baby if you open those eyes it’ll be easier.” Jamie honestly didn’t realize his eyes are closed. He peels them open and rolls his head to the side. A gorgeous black haired man is there. “Duck.”

The man blinks. “Did you just try to say fuck?” Jamie nods. “Duck.” The man blinks again. “Oh hon you’re so high right now.” Jamie shakes his head, “can’t get high. Got testing for that, no coke please.”

The man then snorts. “Baby no one is going to test you.” Jamie blinks. “Baby?” The man perks up. “Yeah?” Jamie shakes his head again he points badly at himself. “Baby? Why am I baby. I’m not a baby I’m 28.” There’s a laugh. “Oookay. You’re Jamie though. That makes you my baby. Roy Kent’s baby.”

Jamie thinks if he turned his head any faster he’d snap it off. “Holy shit you’re Roy Kent! Am I dying? Is this that wish thing?” Roy shakes his head and gently touches Jamie’s hand.

“No. You had a small surgery and I’m here to keep you safe and then take you home to care for you.” Jamie nods. “Cool. Cool. Cool dream. I like it here. You’re cute and fit.” Roy touches Jamie’s forehead. “Okay pretty boy. Sleep time come on.”

Jamie makes a grabby hand until Roy holds it. He slowly drifts back off.

—————

“Jesus Christ I didn’t recognize my own husband?” • “it’s okay babe. You remembered I was important to you!” • “cause I jerked off to your poster since I was 15. That’s not hard to remember.” • “kinky but you can’t do anything like that for another two weeks so nice try cutie.” • “Royyyyy.”

#ted lasso #jamie tartt #roy kent #roy kent x jamie tartt #royjamie #roy x jamie #jamie x roy #mac writes ted lasso

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Roy/Jamie prompt: Arranged marriage AU. Because of some major screw up by his dad, Jamie has no choice but to marry the holder of his father's debt, who turns out to be Roy Kent of the powerful Kent family, and one of the most eligible bachelors in town and known for his fearsome temper. Jamie puts on an air of bravado but deep down he's sad and terrified about what will happen. They actually meet on their wedding day and it is super awkward. Once night falls, Jamie is expecting the worst when instead Roy basically tucks him into bed, gives him a kiss on the cheek goodnight and then goes to sleep himself clear on the opposite side of the bed. Jamie is hella confused, and hella intrigued. It's the awkward backwards courtship of being married first and then falling in love, but somehow they do just that and Tartt Sr. gets his just deserts too.

YEAAAH

-

“Why don’t you just take me Sir it’s been months?” Roy glances up at his husband he gestures for Jamie to come closer. “Because I married you so I could have a husband. Not a slave. And drop the sir’s. I’m you’re husband not your superior.”

Jamie ducks his head in a nod. “Sorry master.” Roy sighs and closes the book setting it aside for much later. “Come here. Sit and look at me.” Jamie quickly obeys. He hesitates before kneeling on the floor in front of Roy.

Roy blinks. Jesus Christ this man. “I said sit. Not kneel like a dog. Come here. My husband kneels for no one not even me.” Jamie scrambles to adjust. He sits on the edge of the other chair.

“I won’t hurt you. I will court you until we either decide to separate or unless our feelings change. And before you ask yes. If we separate you will be safe from your father. He is in our prison for the rest of his rat life.”

Jamie blinks. He scrambles out of the chair and throws himself in Roy’s lap. “Thank you thank you thank you!” Roy hesitated before placing his hands on his husbands thighs. “You’re a free man Jamie. I can’t force you to do anything no matter how it hurts me to watch.”

Jamie tilts his head. “Hurts you?” Roy gently brushed a finger over Jamie’s hip. “I see how you watch the court ladies. I know I’m not someone you wanted to marry-”

“Not want to marry! Roy! You’re the dream man! If this was happening any other way I’d do anything for you out of love!” Roy blinks. His hands flex unconsciously. “So what I’m hearing is our feelings are changing. You are beginning to like me?” Jamie sheepishly nods. “You’ve been so kind, so soft. I know you’re the one who gives me presents even if knight Isaac gives them to me.”

Roy blushes lightly at that. “Correct. You’re my husband you deserve presents.” Jamie gently touches Roy’s nose from where it’s crooked from the breaks of youth. “Can I kiss you?” Roy can’t help but nod. It might be selfish but lord he can’t help himself.

When they kiss for the first time since their wedding eight months ago it feels like magic. Roy can tell in his soul that this man is meant to lead next to him. “So? May I court you for the rest of time?” Jamie tosses his head back with a laugh. “You may! But only if we share a bed from now on husband.”

“Anything for my husband.”

#ted lasso #jamie tartt #roy kent #roy kent x jamie tartt #royjamie #jamie x roy #roy x jamie #mac writes ted lasso #medieval au???? #arranged marriage au!

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Based on the last post about these dorks being Star Wars people, What is Roy's thing?

Like something that makes him so happy that he'd have a huge smile and maybe would be a wee bit nervous.

I wanna say bake off but also I feel like formula one. I don’t know anything about F1 though so like 🧍‍♀️ I’ll write a guest judge bake off!

Sorry this took so long dear <3

—

“And now for our guest judge! He’s a household name, an icon, a best seller, an ex footballer, Roy Kent!”

Roy glares over the final five. Mary Berry touches his arm and he bends down for her to whisper in his ear. “The cute blond is yours right?” Roy’s eyes dart off to the side where Jamie is leaning and guest announcing with the hosts. “Yeah. All mine.” Mary shakes her head with a pat to his arm, “he’s a cute one. He have a grandfather?”

Roy can’t help the laugh that bursts out of him. He flushes and nods his head. “Single and can bake even.” Mary lets out a hum. “Come dear. Let’s sit and gossip.”

From across the tent Jamie is staring at Roy. He can’t help it. His man is in his element. This is maybe the best anniversary present he could’ve gotten him. Once they’re done with him he slips over to the table and puts his arms over Roy’s shoulders from behind. “Ma’am.” Mary shakes her head and pats Roy’s hand.

“Tell your boy to call me Mary. If we’re having dinner next week then he’ll drop the titles.” Roy leans back a little and grins at Jamie. “You heard her baby.” Jamie grins cause Roy looks so happy. “Sorry ma’a- Mary.”

She nods her head and looks out across the tent. “You two have fans.” Jamie blushes lightly and Roy shrugs. “Football and gay. Kinda a shock to people.” Mary laughs, “good on you break those stereotypes.” Jamie presses a kiss to Roy’s head. “Have fun I’ll be back.”

Roy trails his hand over Jamie’s back when he leaves. “I love him you know?” Mary nods. “I can tell. He’s a doll.” Roy snorts. He leans back in the chair. “He’s certainly something special.”

#ted lasso #jamie tartt #roy kent #roy kent x jamie tartt #royjamie #jamie x roy #roy x jamie #mac writes ted lasso

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Roy/Jamie prompt: Due to some freak accident Jamie takes something super heavy right to the chest, like a weight or a medicine ball. The breath his completely knocked out of him, he's literally knocked off his feet and as he lays there gasping in agony his eyes find Roy and with whatever strength he's got he reaches out to him. A horrified Roy rushes to his side, pleading with Jamie to hang on as the younger man passes out. There's a mad rush to the hospital where Jamie pulls through and isn't actually as hurt as everyone thought. It just scared the crap out of them all, especially Roy who goes uber protective mode as he takes over Jamie's care. It's just the jolt these two need to finally realize what they mean to each other.

Oh he gets the wind knocked out of him. Had that happen to a friend when I was like 9. He fell off a high swing and straight onto his chest. We all thought he needed a hospital was absolutely terrifying.

-

Roy is frozen for a second before he leaps forward. Jamie is gasping and shaking. He’s clawing at his chest. Roy slams into the ground next to him.

“Jamie? Can you breathe?”

He gets a broken gasp and a shudder in response. “Okay hospital call a squad.” Jamie’s eyes fill with tears. He reaches a hand out towards Roy. Roy takes the hand without thinking. He links their fingers together. “Come on Jamie. You’ll be okay stay awake.” Jamie shakes his head. He starts crying for real and scratching at his chest.

Roy only prays the squad gets here faster

——

Roy has refused to leave Jamie’s side ever since the hospital said he could be discharged. Roy almost fought the doctor who said he could leave. Jamie’s chest was black and blue. He shook when he took his hoodie off. Roy needless to say forced him into a wheelchair to take him to his car.

“Old man shouldn’t the rolls be reversed?” Roy snorts. He can’t help it. He’s just happy to hear Jamie talking and joking again. “We’re going to my house. Be good not a word about the dog.”

Jamie perks up at the mention of a dog. “Dog! Roy you’ve got a dog?? How long? What’s its name? What kind! Why haven’t I known this?” Roy snorts and buckles Jamie’s seatbelt.

“Two months. Frankie. Chihuahua. Cause I hadn’t told you yet. Phoebe wanted a dog. Ruth said if I got one it’d basically be like hers.” Jamie blinks at all the information. “So you got a dog so your niece would be happy? God I love you.”

Roy nearly chokes on the gun he’s chewing. “You’re drugged.” Jamie shakes his head and rests it on the window. “Always loved you. This made me realize I should say it.”

Roy jerks the car into the closest parking lot. He shoves it in park and stares at Jamie. Who understandably looks a little startled. “You fucking muppet. I was going to say that later.” Jamie’s mouth opens and closes. “No the fuck you were not.” Roy grabs his hand and holds on tight. “I love you. I want to date you.”

Jamie’s mouth drops open. He can’t believe it. “You love me like I love you?” Roy smiles. He brings Jamie’s hand up to kiss it. “Hate that it took this to make me say it but yes. I do.” Jamie let’s out a whoop that makes Roy’s head hurt a little.

“Roy Kent loves me. He fucking loves me!” Roy laughs and shifts to drive again when he’s attacked. “Kiss! Now! Now now now now now now.” Roy cuts him off by obeying. Kissing Jamie is nice feels right.

Roy pulls away with a tap to Jamie’s chest. “No strenuous activity for at least a week. Behave.” Jamie whines but Roy ignores him. “I’ll let you get Frankie outfits with my card if you’re good.” Jamie grabs the hand not on the wheel. “Oh I love you.” Roy snorts.

“I love you too.”

#ted lasso #jamie tartt #roy kent #jamie tartt x roy kent #jamie x roy #royjamie #roy kent x jamie tartt #roy x jamie #mac writes ted lasso #Frankie the oc dog that roy got cause he’s a SUCKER for Phoe

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Roy x Jamie prompt: A new player comes to Richmond, and he gets on well with everyone, but Jamie starts to notice that something's just not right. Jamie keeps his concerns to himself at first and does some recon, where he is horrified to see that this player has a horrifically abusive MOTHER. Jamie gets flashbacks of his own father's terrible treatment of him and becomes determined to help this teammate. Instead going in guns blazing though, he actually talks to his teammate and convinced him that they go to the coaches. The coaches are stunned and horrified, and Roy is royally pissed off. When the teammate's reveals how helpful Jamie has been the coaches are all proud and Roy's feelings for Jamie shift entirely. They come up with a plan to confront the abusive parent that involves the whole team and works perfectly to finally send the bad mom packing. With the lad safe, Roy decides to finally claim his man.

HEHHEEE

Christ I’m so so sorry this took forever

-

Jamie collapsed onto Roy’s couch. He’s exhausted. Emotionally and physically.

“Thanks for helping. I couldn’t stand to see that kid hurt more.” Roy shakes his head and runs a hand over Jamie’s shoulder. “Fucking anytime.”

Jamie twists so he can look at Roy. “You protected me that day. I never did truly thank you for it. So thank you Roy. Dreams came true that night.”

Roy blinks. He shifts to fully look at Jamie. “Dreams?” Jamie blushes slightly like he can’t believe he just said that out loud. He shrugs before continuing, “Roy Kent defending me to my father? Yeah. Dream.” Roy gently takes Jamie’s hand. He doesn’t want to spook him.

“I’d do pretty much anything for you Jamie thought I’ve made that pretty fucking clear?” Jamie shrugs again. “Yeah but like I love you and you protected me and-” there’s a slapping noise of Jamie slamming his free hand over his mouth. His eyes are wider then Roy has ever seen.

Roy keeps a grip on the hand he has. Jamie pills slightly but he doesn’t let him budge. “I love you too.” The hand falls from Jamie’s face. His very red face.

A face that now has tears running down it. “Woah!” Roy is tackled back onto the couch by Jamie. Their legs tangle and he gets a mouthful of hair from where Jamie had tucked his head under his chin. “You like me back?? Like like me?”

Roy snorts. He brushes a kiss over Jamie’s head. “Yeah pretty boy. I like like you.” Jamie’s feet kick in the air for a second before he snaps out of it. Roy can practically feel his face heat up. Roy can feel himself start to drift off. He’s got the man of his dreams in his arms. The fireplace is on. God he could sleep here if it wasn’t so bad for his knee and back.

“Bed, come on. We’ve had a long day.”

Jamie shoots sitting up st the mention of a bed. “Bed as in bed or bed as in sleep?” Roy smiles at him, he stands and holds a hand out for Jamie to take. “I suppose we could do a bit of both.” Jamie breaks into the biggest grin.

“Ah not before I get a kiss old man!” Roy shakes his head again. He cups Jamie’s face and gently kisses him. The sound Jamie let’s out should be illegal. “Again.” Roy obeys without thought. He’d kiss Jamie for all of time if he was allowed.

Eventually they make it up to bed. Jamie curls as close as he can to Roy. Roy who only pulls him closer. “Love you.” Jamie shudders and presses a kiss to Roy’s shoulder. “Love you too.”

They’ll wake up at some point the next day and actually talk but until then? They’ll be happy the way they are.

#ted lasso #jamie tartt #roy kent #roy kent x jamie tartt #royjamie #jamie x roy #roy x jamie #mac writes ted lasso

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Sobbing my eyes out cause look at them. Ron looks so cute and obviously unconscious and Lu looks so pretty and sad. This sketch is so good I’m genuinely freaking out

Lucas would stay through any day no matter how long or how many times he complains he never means any of it. He’s do it ten times over if it meant Ron felt safe.

Lucas will hold Ron’s hand. That’s his adopted brother. He will do anything for him.

Will I change something/everything once I'll decide it is not good enough? Yeah. Most likely.

Did I draw instead of going to bed?yep, as always...

Was I supposed to write? Well, I drew sad boys instead of writing them so what's the difference?

@oh-surprise-its-me I wanted to write, but I got ... uhm-- distracted. Hope you enjoy it anyway? I promise, it's not too angsty.... for my levels of angst, at least okay?

Now, on another note...

Not being officially married, and not being currently deployed, if (when) Ron gets himself in trouble, as in big big trouble, hospital kind of trouble, chris and tom are not allowed to visit until he's deemed out of immediate danger.

Oh, Tom will throw a fit and try to pull every card he can think of, that's his RIO, there. Do doctors care? No, that's not a base hospital, they're civilians and no, they are not allowed to visit for more than a couple minutes. Definitely not allowed to stay overnight, to sit there with him.

It breaks them so damn much, they need to be there for him, they know Ron wnpugh to know he needs them. But they can't, because that's not their husband, it doesn't matter if everyone in town know the three of them are together. Legally, he's no one.

But Lucas is allowed. Because he works there. okay, he works in the ER, but still. Same hospital. He's a nurse. Part of the staff and whatsoever. Lu had lost count of how many times he fell asleep in a plastic chair because one of them got hurt and had to stay overnight, but they also had little Jake at home to take care of. Lu claims he hates those chairs. He hates waking up with his back hurting like crazy. He hates not going home to his husband and daughter. Hates. Hates. Hates.

"You don't have to stay." Ron would say, je knows, if only he was conscious. "I'm fine and you're tired. Call David. Tell him to come get you home."

Lu hates spending the night there because his back will definitely give him hell in the morning but who else could sit there of not him? How could he even think of leaving ron alone when he needs him? (No, he reminds himself, he needs tom and Chris, but they can't be there, fucking rules. So he'll have to settle with only him, who's just a nurse. And a friend.) How can he even think of leaving that idiot who somehow gets in more trouble than anyone he had ever known?

Lucas can't. He won't say it, but they know and it's good enough. He can't because that idiot is theirs. And he's his brother.

#ron slider kerner #lucas benton #mention of tom x ron x chris #hospital setting #h/c fanart #lu loves his little brother so much #aki draws

[oh-surprise-its-me]

them blatantly flirting w eo and making eo blush ik they love doing that all three of them i know it in my bones

-f <3

Tom gets to be all blushy now!!

They all love it. It makes them insane. Ron gets a little stuttery and wants to grab them, Chris goes red the fastest his ears go so red, but Tom goes the actual reddest and yes the blush goes everywhere..

I’m so sorry this took me too long I have no good excuse I’m so sorry fluffy

-

Tom sighed as he pinned another pin to his jacket. He hates that he has to go to another navy ball. It’s the second one this month. One would think that after becoming the compacflt he’d get to skip at least one but how wrong he is.

“Baby if we had time I’d strip you outta that so fast.” Tom blinks up in the mirror at Chris. Darling incredible Chris who agreed to be his trophy husband for this night. “It’s just another money waste of stupid food and public idiocy.” Chris snorts and comes up behind him. He wraps his arms around Tom’s waist and leans his head on his shoulder.

“I think it’s a great opportunity to say fuck you to all the homophobic dickbags that still want to fuck you and Ronnie over. Anyways y’all are so hot in dress whites. Let me have fun.”

Tom flushes. “Stop it. Be good. There’s a reason why I sent Ron out of the room don’t make me send you out too.” Chris grins like a shark and presses a kiss to Tom’s neck. “My pretty baby. All dressed up fancy for me. My husband.” Tom can’t help the blush that spreads across his face. It’s been years but as soon as one of them says Tom belongs to them he desperately wants them to prove it.

“You two done being thirsty for each other?” Chris and Tom both look in the mirror to find Ron leaning in the doorway. “You two make quite the image together. Makes me want to say fuck the ball and stay in bed.” Ron steps into the room and walks over to them. He picks up the pins sitting in their cases still and fastens them on in the right spots.

Ron drags his hand down Tom’s chest. “Lord.” Chris grins and kisses Tom’s neck. “See.” Tom goes redder then he ever expected, these two can cause him to feel like they’re all in their 20s again.  

“We need to leave. Like now-”

Tom cuts himself off with a quiet whine. Chris and Ron are both chasing the blush down his neck. He knows they could do it until he’s undressed.

And look. While he doesn’t want to go to the ball he understands that as the compacflt it’s expected. He quite literally signed up for this.

He jolts when hands wrap around his hips. One from Ron and one from Chris. “Come on darling please?” Tom shakes his head, they don’t have the time. “No, when we get back.”

Ron sighs and presses a bruising kiss to Tom. He taps out love you on his hip. He breaks away and catches Chris in another kiss before slipping out of the room. Tom can hear him grab the keys.

Chris is watching him in the mirror, he gently spins him around to they’re facing each other. “Love you Tommy. Love you so much.” Tom knows his face is burning. “Love you too Chrisy thanks for doing this.” Chris smiles and takes Tom’s hand. “You’re my husband. Anything for you.”

Tom shakes his head and yanks Chris towards where Ron is. They’re taking separate cars tonight since Ron isn’t playing husband and Chris is. “Love you two see you in a little bit.” Tom grins at Ron and waves. Chris slides into his car and starts it. The engine roars to life. Tom loves Chris behind a wheel.

They’ve got plenty of time tonight after the ball. The one where they’re going to tell Mav he’s been an invaluable help over the years. Tom might be dreading this but he knows Mav is throwing an even bigger fit at Goose tonight. Tom guesses he’ll see what kind of trouble Mav can get into on the ground these days.

#ron slider kerner #chris seresin #tom iceman kazansky #top gun #tom x ron x chris #ron x chris x tom #they’re so married #the anon fluffy #mac writes top gun

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Roy/Jamie Prompt: If Roy & Jamie weren't footballers, How do YOU picture them meeting for the first time?

I love a good meet ugly!!!!

——

In Jamie’s defense he’s never seen Phoebe with a man besides him before. She’s only ever been here with her mum before and to quote Ruth “if a man ever brings her in without me. Punch him on the spot and call me.” Jamie took that to heart. He saw him touch her skirt and hold her shoulder he just reacted.

“I’m so sorry!” Phoebe is cackling from behind Jamie. “Jamie! You got uncle Roy!”

Said uncle Roy is currently glaring at Jamie, “nice punch for a ballerina.” Jamie glares at the man with the bleeding nose. “Phoe go get uncle Roy here a towel.” Phoebe takes off for the locker room.

“I really am sorry. Thought you were a creep. Ruth said to punch a man if he ever was with Phoebe.” Roy coughs, it sounds like a cut off laugh. “Good on her.”

Jamie snaps out of it and grabs the man’s arm to sit him down. “So sorry. Lord I’m so sorry please don’t sue me.”

Roy makes a choked laugh. “Ironic since I’m a lawyer.” Jamie stares at the man. “Oh fuck me.” Phoebe comes back before more can be said. “Uncle Roy should I call mummy?” They both shake their heads no quickly.

“No Phoe baby it’s fine. Mr. Jamie meant well.” Jamie aggressive nods. “So sorry. She’s just here so often and I saw her start from so young so you show up and Ruth said punch first ask later-”

Jamie cuts himself off when he sees how Roy is smiling at him. “Good. Never did like the sperm donor of a man. Should buy you a coffee if this is how close you’ve been taking care of Phoebe here.

Jamie blinks. “I’m always a yes for coffee?” Phoebe claps her hands and jumps, “mummy was right!” She claps her hands over her mouth and takes off towards the lockers.

Roy leans back and smiles, “brilliant kid. Mums alright too I guess. Heard a lot about the fabulous ballet teacher though. Wanna hear more over coffee.”

A giggle rips it’s way out of Jamie’s throat, he might be losing his mind here but at least Roy is hot. “Absolutely yes. Tell me when and I’ll be there.” Roy smiles and takes his phone out, “number, I’ll plan more once I’m out of bloody clothing.” Jamie winces and the reminder. He adds his number in anyways

“It’s fine Jamie. Wouldn’t of asked if I wasn’t sure. I’ve heard good things. So coffee this weekend?” Jamie leans a bit closer to Roy, “course. I’m free. All weekend even…”

Roy’s grin turns sharp, he stands and walks back towards the waiting room for parents. “I’ll text you. See you after class yeah?” Jamie nods, definitely seeing after class. Going to hope he sees him so much more after that too.

He spins and claps his hands. No time for distraction, he’s got a class to teach.

#ted lasso #jamie tartt #roy kent #ballerina x lawyer au #meet ugly #roy kent x jamie tartt #jamie tartt x roy kent #royjamie #jamie x roy #roy x jamie #mac writes ted lasso #phoebe kent

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Roy/Jamie Prompt: I LOOOOOVED your post regarding my Mechanic!Roy and Footballer!Jamie thought. Now GIMME ME MOOOOOOOORE! *coughs* Please.

Like... What happens next? or maybe we skip sometime and see how their lives are working out with Jamie's fame and Roy's garage.

Oo we’ll skip some time to see how their lives are doing!

Lord this took me so long Lissie I’m so so sorry.

Also in case y’all are wondering the show I mention “milf manor” is in fact real. Google it. It’s highly entertaining…

-

Roy hears the car before he sees it. Liam cheers and waves at the driver. He rolls his eyes. Here comes his idiot.

“Royo! Come on! Dinner plans!” Greg snorts and elbows Roy in the side. “Go get your man before he causes trouble.” Roy can see Liam leaning against the car talking to Jamie.

“Come on all I’m saying is milf manor would be worth it.” Jamie snorts and shakes his head. “If I went on that with my mum I’d have a stroke. Anyways I’ve got Roy don’t need any cougars.”

Roy gently taps Liam’s shoulder, “finish the Alfa Romeo yeah? Liam nods and walks away with a smile shot in their direction. Roy slips into the car and melts into the seats. Pure black leather surrounds him.

“Long day baby?” Roy rolls his head to look at his beautiful man. This blindingly gorgeous fool who picked him. “Better now. Got you after all. So? Dinner?” Jamie shakes his head he puts his hand on Roy’s knee and smiles at him at the red light.

“Take out and tv. Moved the dinner to tomorrow, knew you were slammed.” Roy quickly glances at the light and then yanks Jamie into a kiss. “Love you.” Jamie flushes even though Roy has said it for months. “Love you too.”

The rest of the drive home is quiet. They arrive at their, Roy can’t just call it a house, their mansion. He slips out of the car and opens Jamie’s door before he can get it himself. Roy gives a little bow and Jamie giggles. They hear barking coming from inside.

“There’s trouble telling us she’s hungry again.” Jamie laughs and nods. He loops their arms together and drags Roy to the house. Their dog Sunny leaps out of the door when the open it. She’s wiggling around so fast it’s hard to see who she’s trying to get to pet her.

Roy scoops her up and brings her closer to Jamie for a kiss. “Give papa a kiss Sunny!” Jamie grins and kisses the dog on her head. He presses a kiss to Roy’s cheek. “Now here Sunny, kiss daddy.”

Roy’s fingers twitch at that name but he doesn’t act, plenty of time for that later.

Jamie wanders off deeper into their house, the tv flips on and he hears the take out menu drawer get pulled open. He can’t believe he got so lucky, an incredible fiancé, a fabulous dog, the guys at the shop. He could practically cry with how happy he is.

He has cried over how happy he is. A stark difference compared to only two years ago. He wouldn’t change a single thing.

#jamie tartt #ted lasso #roy kent #mechanic roy #roy kent x jamie tartt #royjamie #jamie x roy #roy x jamie #mac writes ted lasso