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Has this been done yet?

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So much of Garak as a person starts to make sense once you know his childhood was a fucking gothic novel. His main playground was a graveyard and he'd play pretend by perfoming improv eulogies to an imagined audience. For a long time his main touchstone for most important figures from recent history is 'oh yeah I know about that guy my dad buried him. great flower arrangements for that one'. He finds out later his 'parents' are actually a brother and sister who had to get married to avoid the utter shame and social devastation of having a child born out of wedlock, and they live in the basement of his biological father's house. (the madwoman in the attic vs. the tiny elim in the basement.) His biological father calls himself his uncle and locks him in a closet whenever he fails to live up to his insane and unpredictable expectations and everyone just has to act like that's normal and expected, and his will hangs over everything at all times, unseen but always felt keener than anything else. The father who actually raised him grows the world's most beautiful (and as it turns out, most poisonous) orchids and keeps the mask of a god hidden in a box in his work shed. Everyone in the house is choking down secrets like it's the only air they know how to breathe anymore.

What I'm saying is that right from the get-go this guy never had the faintest shot at turning out normal, so I'm glad that by middle age he's found a way to get a bit silly with it as he continues to be deeply deeply not normal about anything ever <3

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Garak was late to lunch that day because he was building a bomb to destroy his shop. He was eating Delavian chocolates while he made it. He saw an assassin and knew for whom the bell tolled, but he still ate his chocolates, and he still went to lunch, just a little late. Because he was making a bomb to blow himself up with.

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"GREETINGS FROM CARDASSIA, WISH YOU WERE HERE!"

GAYYYYYY

#elim garak #wtf wtf #I'm #what #GARAK THAT #OK #star trek #ds9 #deep space nine #a stitch in time #kinda dumb that I hadn't listened to the Prologue before wtf

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Same

sorry for being horny about the lizard on main guys. It will happen again.

#i'm a lizard fucker #ds9 #elim garak #star trek

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WE'RE BACK BITCHES

The Parasites want me to listen to A Stitch in Time again.

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The Parasites want me to listen to A Stitch in Time again.

#THE PARASITES #star trek #ds9 #elim garak #star trek ds9 #deep space nine #a stitch in time #asit

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Thank you all for so readily welcoming me into the Garak Thirsting Club 💞🫂

#I feel very welcome #I'm a lizardfucker #and proud of it #ds9 #elim garak

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Isn’t it just so funny that the only reason why we have Garashir is because the DS9 writers couldn’t pin down Bashir’s character and started to panic so they got Andrew Robinson on the show just to slap four hours of makeup on him and say “go be a spy” and Andrew Robinson was like “??? HOW” and they were like “and ACTION!” and so Andrew Robinson looked at Alexander Siddig and put his whole palm on his shoulder and bing bang boom Garashir was born

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I'm normal, completely normal.

Someone hold me back before I fuck this man oh fuck oh fuck

Im crawling up the WALLS

#especially normal when drunk #i would like you on a long black lead #i mean huh #garak thirsting hours #elim garak #ds9 #deep space nine #i may lose followers but it's fiiine

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Lowkey drunk rn but why is Garak kinda...

Especially here like helloooo there 🤭😏

#I'm a lizard fucker #help #star trek #ds9 #star trek ds9 #elim garak #deep space nine

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tfw the space station you're on is about to blow up and kill everyone but you just have to flirt with the gay lizard one last time

#the energy in this scene was intensely gay #star trek deep space nine #ds9 #garashir #julian bashir #elim garak #deep space nine

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“Someone’s sending all this to Dukat, yeah?” 

Man, this was a blast to draw. With all the negativity in the world right now, just needed something fun to cheer me up. 

Based off @captaincrusher​‘s post.

To sum up, it’s never really touched on that Sisko has Dukat’s old office, and the implications of this. One of the theories thrown in was that a week after settling in, a life-sized bronze statue of Dukat shows up (after being held up in Bolian customs for three weeks), and Sisko has to sign for it. They don’t know what to do with it, so it just does the rounds of the station:

It ends up in the rec room for Julian and Miles to throw things at.

Kira gets back from a week-long mission to Bajor, finds it just inside her bedroom door. Barely misses it with her phaser. 

She places it just so inside the infirmary doors, so it’ll topple onto Julian when he walks in the following morning. 

Nog looses a bet with Jadzia, has to sneak it into Sisko’s office wearing the ‘Everybody loves me’ shirt.

Revenge is enacted.

Quark thinks it’d be a great way to fool Odo. Turns out paper plates sticky-taped on aren’t the answer.

It ends up at Garak’s. No one’s sure exactly how or why, but the results are beautiful. 

Ziyal, my poor baby. Sisko’s given her a cargo bay to decorate. 

At one point, O’Brien has to go on an urgent mission. For some godforsaken reason, the statue has ended up in the runabout and there’s no time to unload it. So he pilots for 54 hours straight while feeling the itch of Dukat’s soulless glare on the back of his head. 

Oh, and they might have won the war by posting all these to the… whatever the Trek equivalent of the net is. 

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I'm so tempted to just make a DS9 playlist straight up and have the first song on it be Sex Dwarf.

#you know who this is about #quark #star trek #ds9 #star trek ds9 #quark ds9 #ds9 quark #playlist #music #deep space nine

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They rly gave us an entire episode about Bashir’s twink death anxiety…

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Underground industrial electronic goth band about to drop the clingiest clangiest beep boop track in the gamma quadrant