qweei

[qweei]

being both autistic and having adhd is one hell of a combo. yes they are very similar and overlap a lot in traits but at the same time a lot of methods that work for helping one thing contradicts the other.

just for convenience sake because i suck at explaining, im gonna talk about autism and adhd as if they are detached from me, its gonna sound a bit weird but hear me out

my autism = routines, order, structure etc to function. a straight forward kind of thinking so everything is easy for my brain to comprehend in order to not get stressed or overwhelmed.

and then my adhd that's the complete opposite of that. it makes me stressed about that structure and makes me feel restricted. it prefers impulse and trying new things. and if it doesn't get that, i become almost depressed?

my adhd constantly needs stimulants, i cant do anything without blasting music or putting a video on the side because silence is unbearable, BUT because i'm autistic too, i also get overwhelmed by all the things that happen at once! like at this point what am i supposed to do when they both need different things that contradict each other? its like a never ending war especially since at the time im writing this im unsuccessful in finding adhd medication that work and right now i feel like that's my only hope for improvement?

ive only gotten diagnosed with adhd recently and ive been masking my traits from it for almost my whole life until recently so everythings still very new to me and im still in the progress of learning, so sorry if i said or got anything wrong. this is just my personal experience so far.

most of this might also be heavily related to me being mentally ill on top of this but i won't go into detail about that here.

ive rambled enough but if anyone reading this can relate or give any advice that worked for you please do share i'd love to hear it

#neurodiversity #audhd problems #audhd

[qweei]

i'm tired of this idea that good literature HAS to be written in a extremely complicated and complex way in order to be seen as well-written

i really enjoy writing but i'm also dyslexic so i struggle with reading (great combo i know) which sucks as a writer since I want to better my writing and vocabulary via reading books.

but it's so hard to do so when all the recommended "literary masterpieces" and "must reads" that are seen as the blueprint for good writing, are all written to with the most difficult and sometimes unnecessary language/way possible. while more easily comprehensible and easy to read work are viewed as less than and for those less intelligent

also i'm not specifically referring to old classics, i understand they wrote differently than we do today. since newer literature still do this and hold up this standard

stuff like this really messes with my confidence with writing, since sure it's one thing already that i struggle with spelling and grammar. but now i also have this added weight of constantly doubting my writing being too simple or surface level to be taken seriously.

when i just want my work to be easily digested and read, for both myself but also others like me.

of course i don't think that all written media should be simplified, there should absolutely be room for non-simplified written work but it shouldn't be seen as superior than work that isn't

#neurodiversity #rant

[qweei]

This poll is strictly for autistic people only, and thus does not have a "see results" option. If you're allistic (not autistic) please refrain from voting.

Respectfully, this poll isn't for non-autistic people! It's actually for a slideshow presentation I'm working on for school, therefore please only participate if you are Autistic.

to be clear: this is NOT asking if there SHOULD be a cure for autism, as that is a different issue. this is simply asking, if it WAS possible through safe and ethical means, would you take the opportunity to cure YOURSELF. you're not making the decision for anyone else.

this poll was submitted by an anonymous user. if you have a poll you want to reach a larger audience, feel free to submit it to me, post it and @ me in the replies, or send me the link in an ask!

[qweei]

You should cut autistic people some slack when it comes to being blunt, not understanding social cues, or not understanding social norms.

But.

If somebody is being a dick to you, if they’re flirting with you and won’t stop when you ask them to, if they’re being really inappropriate or invasive, it doesn’t matter that they’re autistic! You’re allowed to be uncomfortable with that.

I am autistic and sometimes I do have trouble with social interactions. I often cannot detect sarcasm unless it’s clear from context, I can’t always tell when something is a joke or when somebody is exaggerating, I often can’t tell what people are ‘saying’ if they don’t say it outright, and, though I try to guess anyway, it is extremely taxing and confusing for me.

But that doesn’t mean I can walk around stomping on everybody’s boundaries after they make them explicitly known to me.

I have read far too many stories of specifically some autistic men being completely inappropriate around women, only for the women to be told something along the lines of, “he can’t control it, he’s autistic.” If he can independently go places, he should be able to learn to stop when you say to stop. If he really can’t learn that, then he needs more support (maybe a carer to be out with him and to help him navigate social situations), but, either way, it is completely unacceptable to write off sexual harassment or bigoted behaviour just because somebody is autistic.

[qweei]

reading the symptoms of autism as a now grown adult after being bullied for no explainable reason all your life

[qweei]

I see a lot of posts saying "teach boys about consent".

While that is true, a lot of parents will do that and fail to see how their own actions are the problem.

If you've spanked him, he's less likely to understand consent.

If you've forced him to sit on Santa's lap, he's less likely to understand consent.

If you've forced him to give hugs and kisses to family members, he's less likely to understand consent.

If you've grabbed him in order to force him to sit still, he's less likely to understand consent.

If you've labeled him as "too sensitive" for not wanting to be touched, he's less likely to understand consent.

If you've assumed he's okay with something because he technically allowed it even though he felt pressured, he's less likely to understand consent.

If you're only going to criticize his actions but not your own, it won't work.

[qweei]

The most common argument you'll hear against self diagnosis is that people will fake being [X] for attention. But every disabled person, physical or otherwise, knows this could only work in online spaces - the world was not made for us, and brandishing your disability as a badge of honor that gives you ~special privileges~ is such a funny idea.

Like, honey - that doesn't happen. No one gets anything from being disabled. Maybe extra accommodations if you're lucky - but nothing else. And the internet isn't as important as you seem to think - eventually it just feels hollow.

Ask disabled people how often they had to fight to get diagnosed so their medical needs could be met and their complaints would be heard. Doctors are just hardwired to delay this as much as possible.

I knew I was autistic since late 2018 - I got an official diagnosis 4 months ago. Knowing yourself and how you can make your own life easier is a lifesaver.

And this isn't even going into how many *cons* there are to a professional diagnosis, like being met with disdain at most and denied services at worst.

I don't care if a 16 year old who self diagnosed after taking 1 online quiz about autism is wrong. And honestly I think it's weird people treat this 'issue' with so much hatred.

[qweei]

this was a while ago but i wanted to update everyone and say that i’ve finally gotten my adhd diagnosis !!! HURRAYY RAHHH

thinking about the time i asked my psychiatrist if i could be checked for adhd bcs i showed signs and she proceeded to get super offended, said that every teenager that comes wants to be tested for adhd bcs of the internet and that i can’t have more diagnosises bcs i already had 3

like damn i didn’t know there was a limit, should i like trade one of my diagnoses out for another one??? DO YOU THINK I LIKE HAVING SO MANY DIAGNOSISES WHAT??! LITERALLY TELL ME WHAT I WOULD GAIN BY THAT

[qweei]

man I wish people understood how much it sucks ass to be neurodivergent and trying to find the middle ground where people like/tolerate you. like, I'm either "boring" (trying to wait my turn in conversations, holding space for other people, taking a back seat to let others get some spotlight) or "too much" (too loud/talking too much, getting excited to share, trying to participate in group conversations/activities). No one really talks about how much of being neurodivergent is just sort of trying to make yourself palatable.

I feel like so much of my life has been spent trying to find this effortless sort of middle ground everyone else seems to automatically already know, and I'm always swinging too far one way or the other. I'm lucky to have neurodivergent friends who grok me, but goddamn I wish that I could just like, exist without the constant background script in my brain that's like "you're being too loud. You're not talking enough. you're being self-centered. you're being boring. you're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong." I feel like I'm back in high school trying to make friends but stuck as the eternal "weird kid"

it's just... lonely and sucks bad.

[qweei]

thinking about the time i asked my psychiatrist if i could be checked for adhd bcs i showed signs and she proceeded to get super offended, said that every teenager that comes wants to be tested for adhd bcs of the internet and that i can’t have more diagnosises bcs i already had 3

like damn i didn’t know there was a limit, should i like trade one of my diagnoses out for another one??? DO YOU THINK I LIKE HAVING SO MANY DIAGNOSISES WHAT??! LITERALLY TELL ME WHAT I WOULD GAIN BY THAT

#neurodiversity #rant #autism spectrum #neurodivergent #adhd

[qweei]

tw: ablism directed at autism rant

what the actual fuck is wrong with people, i didn’t know making a simple joke about your diagnosis was illegal

“stop making autism ur whole personality” her account is literally about autism like what next your gonna get angry at a art account for only posting art???

and all the claims of fake/self diagnosis, bcs yeah not being miserable 24/7 means you can’t be autistic like woaahh i didn’t know all of you were licensed psychiatrists!!!

also what has she even done wrong in the slightest? i don’t personally struggle with routines but her reasoning makes perfect sense to me. so how does that in anyones mind justify this amount of hate.

and yes I know this is the internet and people are assholes blah blah but still that doesn’t justify shit like this.

also to clarify, I don’t know anything about this creator, idk if they’ve done or said some awful shit (hell even IF they are “faking” autism which i doubt) but that still doesn’t justify these godawful comments

also for the love of god, don’t try anything stupid and find any of these commenters and send hate, that does nothing. lets just try and be more supportive and supportive to neurodivergent creator or smth idfk

#autism #ablism #neurodiversity #rant #im fighting the urge to reply to every single comment one by one their logic is so stupid and easily disproven man

[qweei]

ig in some ways it relates to my previous post about like how i feel like people hate me and idk why?? so it might be tism thing but still... when it's people who are literally known for being kind to everyone, like angels sent from above level kindness... it seems impossible to end up being someone they hate, right? no somehow not to this fucking dingus.

might a weird ass take, but in my experience: all people who i originally get a bad first impression of ALWAYS ends up being the nicest people, at least to me? i can't count how many people who come off as nice i've met who ended up being horrible underneath appearances

bro being hated by the person who's known for loving everyone is one of the most painful things ever like how did i manage to get on their bad side OUT OF ALL PEOPLE? nothing makes me feel more like a villain that deserved to be publicly burned at the stake

[qweei]

bro being hated by the person who's known for loving everyone is one of the most painful things ever like how did i manage to get on their bad side OUT OF ALL PEOPLE? nothing makes me feel more like a villain that deserved to be publicly burned at the stake

#i just want people to like me pleas why #WHAT DID I DO?? #“they are so nice! they love everyone and everyone loves them <3 such a sweetheart” AND THEN THEY HATE ME WITH EVERY FIBER OF THEIR BEING?

[qweei]

lgbtq discrimination and ablism against neurodivergent people are very similar if you think about it.

(tw: ablism, transphobia and homophobia)

firstly, both were and still sometimes are, seen as a mental illness, are seen as something that ought to be "cured", are widely misunderstood and stigmatized, and where the word "normal" is used to refer to being heterosexual/cis and neurotypical.

neurodivergent and lgbtq ppl both are expected to hide their identies in order to be treated with respect. neurodivergent folks being forced to mask to fit in and not be discrimated against, while similarly lgbtq folks are forced to be in the closet or pass.

"i don't hate gay people! just those who make it their whole personality!" "don't call yourself autistic/disabled! you're more than that! are you trying to say that your entire personality is your autism??"

of course, i'm not trying to compare the two, its not some kind of competition, i just as someone who's both, felt the need to point it out. (also not to mention how statically many neurodivergent people are lgbtq)

so when all that is said and done, someone please tell me how it's possible to be neurodivergent and homophobic/transphobic...?? how are you as a neurodivergent person... someone who most liked know exactly how badly it is to be treated for simply being different from others, how harmful stigma and misinformation can be.... hate a group of people who are almost exactly going through the exact same thing??

either you have underlying self-hatred / ablism against yourself or you just have zero sympathy for anyone who isn't you. sorry but i truly believe you cannot be supportive of neurodivergent people if you are homophobic/transphobic or just in anyway a bigot. it just simply makes no sense to me, it just doesn't. the two overlap too much.

can someone tell me, was i the naive idiot for believing that when i transferred to a special ed class, that i wouldn't be subjected to listen to almost the exact same level of bigotry i faced in public school?

#HOW ARE YOU HATING SOMEONES EXISTENCE? KYLE YOU ARE BULLYING PEOPLE THE SAME WAY YOU WERE BULLIED #WHAT ARE YOU DOING #DO I NEED TO PUT THE PIECES IN PLACE FOR YOU? ATTACH THE STRINGS? IS THAT WHAT IT TAKES??? #throwing rocks from a glasshouse my god #a kid in class once just said the r-slur #neurodivergent #autism #lgbtq

[qweei]

I've started to notice two types of shitty autism parenting and i wanna talk about it though it might be pretty generalizing

tw for overall shitty parents, emotional neglect.

type A: the denial parent

aka the "refuse to acknowledge that their perfect little child is in fact autistic". they will constantly go on and on about how "mild" and perfectly "normal" they are and "not like those autistics"

they completely see autism/disability as a bad thing and even the word itself is dirty to them, so they'll use every other term but those two like "special, superpower, aspie ("they have aspergers not autism!") etc etc. constantly whenever their child's autism is brought up around others, will feel the need to compensate for it, like bringing up their achievements and things they can do, whether that'd be how they have a job, got into a good school etc. as if autistic people can't do that. because they refuse to acknowledge any of the child's weaknesses or flaws, they will never actually do anything to help them, might even scold them for this.

no one needs to compensate for anything, nor feel any shame for just straight up being who they are, this goes for everyone but especially neurodivergent/disabled ppl. not to go psychoanalyze anyone but many autistic ppl i've meet with these kinds of parents/ or just in general share the same view points mentioned, just always end up having so much built of rage, self hatred and completely lack any self acceptance.

type b: hopeless/self-pity parent

usually the parent of a early diagnosed autistic child, whom almost immediately after being diagnosed just straight up gives up on them. "oh well, what can i do..." *proceeds to emotionally neglect and refuse to raise their child*

like type a, they see autism as a bad thing, something that will forever just be forced to deal with. despite acknowledging their child's diagnosis, it's not acceptance, not at all. often you'll hear them talk about how hard it is for them personally, basically searching for pity points despite never actually putting any effort into being their for their kid. even worse, if the parent has another children who are neurotypical, they will VERY clearly treat them a lot better than their neurodivergent one.

these kinds of parents never actually put any effort in growing close with their autistic kid, like they're needs, what they like doing etc, so when they do act out because of their needs never being met, instead of trying to understand or help them they just go "it's their autism"

parents like this often from the outside gain a lot of pity from other parents, because to them the child is just acting out for no other reason than them being autistic and that's just something their parent simply "can't" do anything about it! (news flash: they can!)

ofc you can't get rid of your child's autism, it's simply just a part of them, however that doesn't mean that child doesn't need to raised or giving support like idk every other child? big fucking surprise of but autism isn't the reason your child is violent or an asshole. you neglecting their emotional needs and rather spending all your time complaining does! i understand it can be hard to raise/take care of someone who's autistic, hell it's hard in general to raise any kid, but my sympathy falls flat when instead of trying help you just blame everything on their autism.

though just wanna say that, most parents i've met who fall under this catagory, i wouldn't consider emotionally neglect or abusive to that severe of an extent. i have however noticed a pattern of parents who despite their child being diagnosed, just never actually put any effort into learning about it or understanding their child? aka basically gives up. they usually only listen to what professionals / ppl who work with autistic ppl have to say about their child, which can be very harmful since those people (in my experience) 80% of the time have no clue what they are even talking about.

#autism parenting #autism #actually autistic #neurodivergency #asd #autism spectrum

[qweei]

alright it's 2 am and i just opened tumblr and i'm so overwhelmed at the amount of feedback this got??? i've read everyones feedback and i just wanna say tysm, it really means a lot to me :'))

firstly I wanna apologize for not adding any kind of tw! i didn't expect it to gain as much attention as it did but that's still no excuse for me to without warning open some old wounds for some of you, so I'm really sorry and i'll add some now!

and i just wanna say: to anyone who related to this post, please take care and know that you're not alone! being diagnosed isn't what solves all your problems, it's self acceptance and understanding that does (probably not all of them but hey it helps) you'll meet hardships along the way but it's one of the best things you can do for yourself :)

(and for the people wondering; i'm doing a lot better than i did in the past, but thank you for your concern!)

growing up as an undiagnosed neurodivergent person, constantly being punished for being different or doing something wrong, but never being able to understand what exactly you did and why you’re even being punished for it. instead just left to wonder your entire life if there's something wrong with you, can be a whole trauma of itself.

its the feeling that you deep down know you are different and you're doing something wrong but you don't understand why or how.

i grew up confused why so many of my teachers just straight up hated me, even though i wanted nothing more than to get their approval and praise, why almost all my classmates did everything to avoid me even though i tried so hard to be nice to them, and why it was so hard for me specifically to make friends when everyone else could do it so easily.

a feeling that all to often just gets blamed on me, whether that'd be because of some unspoken social rule i broke, despite never knowing it to begin with. my presence being off putting somehow, or simply just some things not coming naturally to me. like i'm constantly being belittled for not knowing the instructions despite never being given any.

it's my fault no likes me, because there will always be something i'm doing wrong. is it the way i speak? is it my facial expression? is it the way i walk? is it the way i smile? the way i laugh? is the way i dress? is it something i said? something i didn't? what is it, what exactly am i doing so wrong that makes me deserving of being treated like this, i was just a kid.

[qweei]

(tw: vent, bullying/isolation trauma, mental health discussions)

growing up as an undiagnosed neurodivergent person, constantly being punished for being different or doing something wrong, but never being able to understand what exactly you did and why you’re even being punished for it. instead just left to wonder your entire life if there's something wrong with you, can be a whole trauma of itself.

its the feeling that you deep down know you are different and you're doing something wrong but you don't understand why or how.

i grew up confused why so many of my teachers just straight up hated me, even though i wanted nothing more than to get their approval and praise, why almost all my classmates did everything to avoid me even though i tried so hard to be nice to them, and why it was so hard for me specifically to make friends when everyone else could do it so easily.

a feeling that all to often just gets blamed on me, whether that'd be because of some unspoken social rule i broke, despite never knowing it to begin with. my presence being off putting somehow, or simply just some things not coming naturally to me. like i'm constantly being belittled for not knowing the instructions despite never being given any.

it's my fault no likes me, because there will always be something i'm doing wrong. is it the way i speak? is it my facial expression? is it the way i walk? is it the way i smile? the way i laugh? is the way i dress? is it something i said? something i didn't? what is it, what exactly am i doing so wrong that makes me deserving of being treated like this, i was just a kid.

#being autistic #autistic experiences #late diagnosed autistic #neurodivergent #neurodiversity