reptilian-rapscallian

[reptilian-rapscallian]

And you said I abandoned the ship, but I was going down with it.

[reptilian-rapscallian]

Oh this MADE MY DAY

@wolfstarmicrofic | April 23:rd Teacher AU | Also inspired by this incredible post | 971 words

“It’s because I’m gay.”

Dora’s words had echoed in his head for the better duration of two years.

Two years.

Jesus Christ.

It sounds more clear now that there isn’t an ever pressing haze of alcohol clouding his brain. But alas, he frankly can’t afford to be an alcoholic anymore. He wasn’t even that good at it. A bottle of wine every evening and Remus just turned into a weepier version of his otherwise quite bleak self and watched old rom-coms on tv until he fell asleep on the couch.

But an English teacher’s salary isn’t hefty enough to really support a proper addiction and Remus hadn’t ever been the type of person to steal a car or break into someone’s house just to fuel his habit. With his luck he’d get caught right away anyway.

“This can’t come as a surprise, Rem, we never even had an active sexlife.”

Sure, fine, maybe they hadn’t. But they had been married for years; university best friends turned adult lovers and confidants turned married at twenty five and divorced at thirty three.

The divorce had at least been simple, easy, just like anything else about their relationship. One second she was there, dying her hair in the tub and staining it all bubblegum pink — the next she was moving out and downloading lesbian dating apps.

Remus munches salad from his little packed lunch. He should be planning his classes whilst having lunch — he refuses to, he’d rather sit here all bent-backed and pretend that the salad actually tastes better, that he isn’t regretting moving across the country to get away from it all. That his new life isn’t sinking his mood just like the old one did.

There’s a knock on his classroom door.

Remus looks up from his sad salad. “Come in?”

The door, covered in prints of Shakespeare plays and old illustrations of Of Mice and Men and other English class classics, opens to reveal the knocker.

Sirius has his hair in a bun today, black strands tied back and into a scrunchy that could rival the cheekiest of cheerleaders’. Other than that he is in his usual all black attire, all except his rainbow colored lanyard which holds his keys and the miniature periodic table keyring.

Sirius smiles. It’s all gray eyes that look like they’re sparkling under the hideous fluorescents and can make even the toughest lunch lady blush.

“Hi Remus, is this a bad time?”

Remus tries to swallow the tightness in his throat.

He can’t really deal with Sirius popping by like this, he’s done it quite frequently since Remus’ first week.

“No, not really,” he says, trying to keep his hands from fiddling and his eyes from darting around the room. “What can I help you with?”

Sirius shrugs, careless and relaxed. “I was just wondering if I could borrow your stapler. Seems like mine’s wandered off.”

Sirius drives a motorbike to school.

Remus saw him get off it in the parking lot not too long ago. It felt like the world stood still or maybe moved in slow motion when Sirius removed his helmet and shook his hair out, kitted out in leather. Then his neck got all hot, for some god forsaken reason, and he had to go splash cold water on his face before facing his students in the first period.

So many of Sirius’ supplies have gone missing in the short time where they have worked together.

“Erhm… Yeah, sure— absolutely,” Remus stumbles through sentences as he stands to go fetch the stapler in the supply closet. He turns the little key and quickly looks over the closet, a bit too aware that Sirius is coming closer; if he isn’t misinterpreting the scuff of boots on the floor.

He grabs the stapler, turns around. “Here.”

Sirius is right behind him, right in front of him now. Looking up at Remus with his easy smile and rows of lovely black lashes and… and… and pink lips.

“Thanks, I’ll give it back as soon as I’m done, okay?”

“Yeah…”

Sirius leaves. Remus has to go sit down, he’s feeling dizzy.

“Are you even attracted to me, Rem? I mean— it’s fine if you aren’t. Maybe I’m not your type or something.”

There was always something hidden in Dora’s words, at least in those words. Remus hadn’t come any closer to figuring them out, not even two years later.

He just sits in his darkening apartment, playing those words over and over whilst watching-but-not-really-watching tv. He should really go over to Sirius’ classroom tomorrow. You know, just to make sure he remembers to give the stapler back. And it has absolutely nothing to do with what Dora said those years ago, nothing at all.

In the following morning, Remus dresses in his good shirt and wrestles with his hair for a touch longer than usual. Why? Don’t worry about it.

He goes into work with a determination and anxiety churning in his belly.

He walks up to Sirius’ classroom, a print of Neil deGrasse Tyson on the door, and knocks.

Deep breath.

Sirius opens the door. Light eyes and smiling lips and an overall undeniably beautiful face.

Stapler, that’s what he’s there for.

“Will you go out with me?”

What?! No!

Remus was supposed to ask about the stapler!

Fuck!

Sirius just looks back up at him, glittering eyes and widening smile. He doesn’t say anything.

Remus tries to backpedal. “The stapler — I really need my stapler, that’s what I meant.”

Sirius just smiles. “So I just missed the point two second window of going out with you?”

There’s cotton in Remus’ ears, ringing in his brain. “No— I mean… Wait— Did you want to go out with me?”

Sirius’ smile looks like it’s almost too big for his face. “I thought you’d never ask.”

[reptilian-rapscallian]

All of our speculations about taylors album and it ended up being WOLFSTAR CODED I feel so spoiled to have more lines to cry about ✨️✨️

[reptilian-rapscallian]

Oh TTPD is giving me IDEAS

[reptilian-rapscallian]

I've said this before and it's a hill I'll die on: Stop blaming ATYD for the "hyper-masculine casanova" characterisation of Remus Lupin.

In ATYD he's anything but a big, buff, aggressive popular kid. He's a loser, and that's quite literally the point. Not only that, but he's such a self-deprecating character that you can't trust a word from his perspective. Obviously his thought processes present him as a shitty person, it's because he thinks he's a shitty person. There are mountains of evidence that prove Remus is a good character (and INSANELY well written) in atyd, and I'll go into it more when it isn't 3 in the morning.

#wolfstar #remus lupin #marauders #sirius black #young marauders #atyd marauders #james potter #peter pettigrew #remus x sirius #dorcas meadowes #atyd remus #atyd

[reptilian-rapscallian]

You're friendly reminder jkr had to add like a brother in an attempt to make Sirius and Remus seem less gay

[reptilian-rapscallian]

Remus discovered his sexuality by spending a lovely summer with a wonderful openly queer boy who quickly became one of his best friends, his confidant and his life-time support afterwards, not to mention his lover for most of his life.

Meanwhile, in the exact same summer, Sirius got his sexuality brutally torn from the deepest pits of his own mind by his abusive, homophobic mother before he could even realize it fully, then got beaten senseless for it and hurt by his own family to the point of almost bleeding out.

I think about this daily and y’all are not thinking about it enough.

[reptilian-rapscallian]

The best representation in my opinion of what aromantic love feels like is Sirius and James’s relationship (ofc, for people who don’t romantically ship them and OFC I am not bashing on the ship!).

The codependency between them, the love and admiration, the protection and desire to please at every moment. The urge to be near each other at any given time, the unspoken words that feel spoken, the lack of need for communication to understand what they are going through. The clinging, everything.

Me, as an aro, love like that. And it is love!!!! I don’t care if it’s not romantic, I don’t care! I don’t want to kiss them, I don’t need to be in a romantic relationship with them to want to spend the rest of my life in their company.

I wish more people would get this. That’s why I don’t ship prongsfoot, even tho I have nothing against it, it is simply not for me.

[reptilian-rapscallian]

if i think abt wolfstar for too long i go a tiny bit more insane 🤗🤗

[reptilian-rapscallian]

wdym wolfstar isn’t a real religion???

[reptilian-rapscallian]

CALLING ALL WOLFSTAR FIC WRITERS

I'm looking for more wolfstar fics and I'll read literally any iteration of wolfstar ever so send me/promote your fics on this post!! I'd love to see them :)

#i need more fics guys #i feel bereft #wolfstar #remus lupin #marauders #sirius black #young marauders #atyd marauders #james potter #peter pettigrew #remus x sirius #dorcas meadowes

[reptilian-rapscallian]

trying to beat the weird kid allegations and then they mention that one fanfic

[reptilian-rapscallian]

trying to beat the weird kid allegations and then they mention that one fanfic

[reptilian-rapscallian]

lovebirds - @wolfstarmicrofic - word count: 210

Their first 'date' lasted five minutes.

They both walked nervously to Hogsmeade, worrying about who should grab whose hand, who should pay for whose tea, who would kiss whom first.

They entered Madame Puddifoot's Teashop silently. They'd gone because James had insisted it was romantic. And since they were a couple, now, they had to go.

They both instantly regretted it. It was covered in red and pink and hearts and glitter and real live lovebirds and it made them both want to gag.

Sirius was the one who said something.

They'd both ordered a tea and were sitting silently, avoiding each others' eyes, when he spoke. "Moony, what the bloody hell are we doing here?" he'd asked.

And then they'd both laughed. So loud and genuine that they'd received annoyed looks from the couples around them.

"Dunno. Wanna go snog in the alley?" Remus had retorted with a grin.

And Sirius's stomach had given that familiar swoop. That feeling that had made him realize that the way he looked at Remus was not platonic.

And they'd both run out of the shop laughing, hands clasped, not a clue who had reached first, lips clashing together at the same time.

Their romance was different.

They were both okay with it.

[reptilian-rapscallian]

Sirius is a black leather jacket guy and Remus is a brown leather jacket guy

[reptilian-rapscallian]

SLAGS HAHAHA

woo - @wolfstarmicrofic - word count: 236

They'd not told James yet. Staying true to the essence of their friendship, Remus and Sirius decided, rather than tell James they'd finally gotten their shit together and confessed their feelings, they'd just...wait. See how long it took him to figure it out.

It took approximately twelve minutes.

He was oblivious on the walk down to breakfast, and as they sat, he launched into a rant about his newest plan to woo Regulus ("Ew," was all Sirius had said in response).

But then, he looked up, taking in Sirius and Remus casually sitting next to each other, rolling their eyes at Peter across the table, and pointed an accusing finger. "You've snogged!" he gasped, gesturing between them, drawing stares from nearby students.

"What? Why do you-?" Remus started to protest, keeping up the charade, but Sirius interrupted.

"Yes! We did!" he grinned gleefully, resisting the urge to stand and jump around with James in the middle of the Hall.

"Finally!" James exclaimed, still standing. "Evans, you owe me five galleons! These idiots finally figured it out!" he called to Lily a few seats down.

Remus looked like he was about to protest, but money started exchanging hands all around the table. "How'd you know?" he asked suspiciously.

"Just an aura," James grinned, his expression maddeningly superior, counting his coins.

Sirius raised his eyebrows.

"Nah," James laughed, pointing again, "You both are covered in hickeys. Slags."

[reptilian-rapscallian]

Oh my GOD this is amazing

“Oh, sorry. I didn–Oh. Hi.” 

Remus hasn’t even bothered to look up before he heard the voice, and for a moment, he isn’t even sure if he really hears it. It’s like a shot from the past, someone he never thought he’d see again. Someone he isn’t sure he wanted to see again. 

“Oh. Hi Sirius.” 

“Remus, wow. It’s been so long. You look– You look really great.” 

“Thanks,” Remus says. “You do too.” 

He looks beautiful, of course. He couldn't even have the decency to get ugly in the years that have passed. Not that Remus ever thought that he could win that particular break up battle. Sirius was never going to be anything but beautiful. You’re so beautiful it hurts to know you, Remus had said one night when they’d laid on the top of Gryffindor Tower. He meant it. It’s still true. It still hurts. 

Sirius glanced over his shoulder, then smiled back at Remus. “Could you stay? We could grab a table and catch up?”

Remus looks down. He doesn’t really have anywhere to be, but he’s certain he doesn’t want to stay. “I don’t know. I’ve got to–” 

“Please, Remus?” Sirius asks, and Remus knows he’s going to say yes. He’s never been able to deny Sirius when he asks like that. “Come on. Just five minutes.” 

Remus sighs, fidgeting with the scar across his knuckles as he considers. It’s new. One that Sirius won’t know, not like before when he’d memorized every part of Remus’s skin. “Alright. Five minutes.” 

---

They grab the only open table at the back of the shop, a small little two seater that feels far too intimate for the years that have placed distance between them. Remus holds his coffee mug between his hands, letting the warm liquid warm them. It’s close to the full moon, and his joints are already aching. Sirius once memorized every full moon for the next decade. Remus wonders if he still remembers them. 

Silence drags before them, carried by the metaphorical elephant in the room. This was Sirius’s idea, so Remus fully intends to let him start the conversation or let his five minutes run out without speaking. It seems like it would be easier that way. It’s killing him not to fill the silence. Remus sips his drink instead. 

“Merlin,” Sirius says, a strained chuckle choked out of his throat. “I don’t know what to say now. Sorry.” 

Remus shrugs. He could make this easier on Sirius; he won’t make this easier. Why should he make this easier for Sirius? So, how have you been? Where have the years put you? I’ve thought about you every moment since I left. I miss you. I hate you. I still love you. I think I love you more than I hate you. 

“What’s it been, ten years?” Sirius asks. “Where’ve you been?”

“Twelve,” Remus says, clearing his throat. “It’s been Twelve years.” Twelve years, nine months, three weeks, six days. Not that he’s counting. “I’ve been around, I guess.” 

“I heard you left the country,” Sirius says. 

“I did,” Remus says. “I–” he clears his throat. “I decided there wasn’t any reason to stay in England anymore.” 

Sirius looks down–shame or regret, maybe both, coloring his cheeks pink. “Where’d you go?”

Remus sits back with a sigh. “Everywhere. No, that’s not me trying to be difficult. It’s just true. I started on the Continent–honestly, it would be easier to name the countries I didn’t send time in. Went down and stayed in Egypt for a stint, then East. India, Vietnam, China. A few dozen countries between.” He shrugs. “Everywhere.” 

“Why didn’t you ever come back here?”

Remus huffs derisively. “Come on, Sirius. You know why.” 

“I really don’t,” Sirius says. 

“There wasn’t really anything to come back to, was there?” Remus snaps. “Not when all of my friends decided I was the spy and iced me out of everything.”

Sirius looks away, picking at the sticker on the outside of his coffee cup. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” 

Remus isn’t sure it’s worth anything. Or maybe it’s worth everything. Maybe it’s been so long it doesn’t even matter anymore. “Yeah, well.” 

The silence returns, throwing its weight about in a space that once would have been filled with laughter. It’s a terrible reminder of what they once were, of what they no longer are. Remus considers whether there’s some way he can get up and leave now, or whether standing and walking away without a further word would be rude. 

“What brought you back now?” Sirius asks quietly. 

“Dumbledore,” Remus says. “Apparently traveling the globe as a freelance beast and creature control specialist makes you particularly well suited to teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts, and he’s in need of someone.” 

“You’re going to teach Defense?” Sirius asks, clearly surprised. That burns Remus. What right does he have to be surprised? Why would he doubt that Remus is capable of doing this?

Remus huffs. “Of course, that’s what would surprise you. I’m capable, thank you so very much, and despite your beliefs a decade ago, I didn’t study the Dark Arts any more than you did.” 

“Remus, that’s not what I meant–” 

“No, you know what, I think my five minutes are up here,” Remus says, standing swiftly. “I have to be off. Got lots to get done before the semester starts. Goodbye, Sirius.” 

Remus walks out, despite Sirius’s protests, and apparates as soon as he gets to the alley behind the coffee shop and away from muggle eyes.