rollerskatingwreck

[rollerskatingwreck]

Hey did you know that if you proceed to make a Bad Sound after I tell you about my feelings about it that I cannot be legally held responsible for what happens to you?

#i’ll kill you #and people will applaud me #You fuckers #you know who you are

[rollerskatingwreck]

We are on a date and the subject of tattoos is brought up. You ask if I have any to which I coyly toss my hair over my shoulder and wag my tongue at you. You are impressed by this audacious location and our conversation continues on smoothly. Now that you know though, you cannot resist glancing at my mouth throughout the meeting. The lights in restaurant are low but you cannot help but notice that something is a little off, the blurry shape seems to be changing? You ask about it but I evade the question by telling you a fascinating joke about ducks. As our date comes to an end you lean in for a kiss and notice that the stamp on my tongue is incredibly faded. I run off into the night leaving you with nothing but the taste of nostalgia on your lips and half a dozen melted froot roll ups congealing at the bottom of my purse.

[rollerskatingwreck]

Few things motivate me more than thinking about Ty Pennington from Extreme Home Makeover shouting, “LETS DO ITTTTT” before I begin a project

#Extreme home makeover #Ty pennington #motivating quotes #i know im weird #deal with it

[rollerskatingwreck]

Here’s a short list of things that I (an ap English student) hate writing about:

1: literally

2: anything

3: about

4: me

5: my future plans

#fuck this #career research essay my ass #i demand a refund #I don’t wanna college anymore #Are you a spy #The government? #Why do you need to be all up in my business #i don’t know anything

[rollerskatingwreck]

Today I woke up and chose sadness and by that I mean that I saw a banana fish post and decided to read the manga instead of being content with the anime having destroyed my mental health

on another note i forgot how much of a bad bitch skipper was, talk about a short king

#banana fish #banana fish skipper #short king #barfight mvp #He’s the only certifiable minor there ash #But he’s still better than half of Arthur’s goons

[rollerskatingwreck]

People who simp for Tendou also liked Fred and George Weasley, I don’t make the rules

#haikyuu!! #tendou satori #fred and goerge weasley

[rollerskatingwreck]

Nothing could have ever prepared me for the sheer horror of reuniting with the man who babysat me as a child only for him to begin to desperately hit on me.

This man was in college when I was a child

#Helpme #I’m only a teenager #He put his hand on my lower back #My whole skeleton did the peppermint twist

[rollerskatingwreck]

Why donate when you can donut?

[rollerskatingwreck]

People who scoff at the way cartoon characters run have clearly never seen a sand piper skitter away from a wave and that’s just ignorance

[rollerskatingwreck]

Some of y’all have never seen a baby possum in the flesh and it shows

[rollerskatingwreck]

I’m paradoxical in the way that I won’t hear half of what you say to me, but I can hear a roach skitter across the hallway from my bed at 2:00 am

[rollerskatingwreck]

I hate how people always get on my case for not drinking alcohol. Like, bitch. I pay good money every month for my anti-depressants and drinking would be like reverse uno-ing myself. I’m not trying to ruin your fun and I have no problem with you partaking just don’t expect me to join in. You don’t knowingly give peanut allergic people Reese’s cups so stop trying to give me alcohol. It’s not personal it’s just brain chemistry.

[rollerskatingwreck]

Cadbury Creme eggs make me go absolutely feral

[rollerskatingwreck]

Not gonna lie I feel pretty cheated by my brother situation. Not because he’s mean or ignores me; but in the fact that despite being an intelligent, athletic, and genuinely awesome person he has NEVER, NOT EVEN ONCE had an attractive friend. The brothers of girls in ya novels and shows have got friends all the time and they’re generally jerks, so why is it that my nice wonderful brother only ever brings home ugly douchebags? Someone get me fates number, I just wanna talk

[rollerskatingwreck]

Let me just begin this rant by saying that I have lived in Texas for the majority of my life and I have never, NEVER felt as cursed as I did when I saw Tostitos post and ad for avocado salsa. Avocado salsa, what the frick frack snickety snack patty whack jumbo rack back crack is a v o c a d o s a l s a

[rollerskatingwreck]

We all like to pretend that media doesn’t affect us but last night the “my professor stepped on an m&m and thought it was a ladybug” came across my stream, and then when I fell asleep I had a dream that an evil witch turned my husband into a ladybug and he liked to ride around on the frills of my socks. Unfortunately later on in the dream as I was running from the bad guys he slipped into my sock and I squished him, but when I looked inside my sock instead of his corpse there was just a crushed m&m.

[rollerskatingwreck]

Reading YA novels is just spilling tea about people that don’t even exist