The door was locked, and an expert had been brought in. The Expert.
“Don’t worry, don’t worry, settle down, I’m here,” the Expert said breezily, breezing in much like a breeze might, their attitude supremely casual despite the pressure of the situation.
The door remained locked.
“We heard you could open any door,” said one of those gathered, wringing their hands. The Expert flounced their luxuriant wavy curls.
“Open any door, yes, remove any obstacle. To me nothing is unslicable, unhackable, no system is safe. Intrusion is my gift, my talent. Cracking security? Comes as easily to me as breathing. Code? I also breathe that. Just give me a keyboard and - hey, wait, what’s this?” The Expert was brought up short in their spiel when they attention actually, finally fell upon the locked door.
They were pointing at something. Those gathered looked at the Expert was pointing at.
“That’s a padlock,” one of them said.
It was indeed a padlock.
“Oh,” said the Expert, blankly. “Oh, um. I can’t - you see - I can’t actually hack that. Can’t hack padlocks, no. No code in there, you see? No systems, no circuits. Just…bits and…stuff…”
“So you can’t open this door?” Someone asked.
“I can! But I can’t. If it was different, yes, then I could easily. But this? No. But that’s not my fault, that’s the door’s fault. And yours, I suppose,” said the Expert.
An awkward pause.
“I do still get paid though. For coming out,” the Expert said.
An even more awkward pause.