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@coffbeanie NO WAYYYY this is basically what happened to my mom. she saw elvis live at the rodeo as a teenager in the 70s and she was sooooo mad because she WANTED to see the jackson five!! boo!!!!! then when she was in her 20s and dating my dad, she convinced my dad to go back to school, and he had to write a huge paper about a celebrity for a sociology or philosophy class or something... i think something about modern icons or celebrity worship or something. and my mom was like duh, you gotta write it on elvis! and he was like girl i don't know anything about him. so she was like okay i'll do the research for you (this is academic dishonesty do NOT try this at home) and then in the process became kind of fixated on and fascinated with this concept of elvis as being, in her words, "the original elvis impersonator" and the prototype for how creatives like musicians actors etc get dehumanized as money printers, which still happens today. okay sorry for hitting you back with another text wall i just think there's soooo much meat on the bone of Elvis As Person Versus Elvis As Idea and the idea that multiple people have become their circle's Elvis Guy via writing an essay about him is so fascinating

genuinely kind of pissed off about how my enjoyment many of my favorite characters can be traced back to being raised under the influence of my mom's intense, possibly parasocial elvis obsession.

some of them have surface-level traits, like black hair and blue eyes, or flashy iconic clothes like caped jumpsuits or hawaiian shirts. some of them are charismatic ladykillers. some of them are so gotdang yeehaw. some of them have fuckoff insane amounts of money, and some of them spiral into an early grave as their fabricated persona consumes them. and tbh, some of them are just straight-up elvis impersonators.

if your fictional man has even a single allele of elvis in him, it's too late. he's my teddy bear. i'm gonna put a chain around his neck and lead him anywhere

#shebbz shoutz

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actually yknow what? hold that fucking thought. i'm gonna make a template for a stat sheet to tell how elvis a character is

#shebbz shoutz

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genuinely kind of pissed off about how my enjoyment of many of my favorite characters can be traced back to being raised under the influence of my mom's intense, possibly parasocial elvis obsession.

some of them have surface-level traits, like black hair and blue eyes, or flashy iconic clothes like caped jumpsuits or hawaiian shirts. some of them are charismatic ladykillers. some of them are so gotdang yeehaw. some of them have fuckoff insane amounts of money, and some of them spiral into an early grave as their fabricated persona consumes them. and tbh, some of them are just straight-up elvis impersonators.

if your fictional man has even a single allele of elvis in him, it's too late. he's my teddy bear. i'm gonna put a chain around his neck and lead him anywhere

#shebbz shoutz #the king fnv #johnny bravo #<- just tagging the impersonators. feel free to @ me with another character i like that you think you can pin on my elvis thing #you'll probably be correct

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microdosing on new vegas by looking at pictures of elvis presley

microdosing on paying fallout new vegas by listening to johnny guitar and getting sad

#i do this more than i'd like to admit #fallout new vegas #shebbz shoutz

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omg. a club on campus is gonna run one of those murder mystery parties. i've rewatched Poe Party enough times to know where this is going. someone fetch me my caméra

#i brought knives for everyone! for protection! :D #shebbz shoutz

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microdosing on paying fallout new vegas by listening to johnny guitar and getting sad

#watched the first ep of the fallout show and it made me wanna play fnv but i do NOT have the brain capacity for ANY game let alone an fps #so i'm just staring at the banner art on its steam page and spacing out. hallucinating the game #shebbz shoutz

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THE BUTCHNESS LEAVES MY BODY WHEN A COCKROACH WAGS ITS ANTENNAE AT ME. AND A PROFOUND FEAR OF GOD TAKES ITS PLACE

#YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD! ALL THE OTHERS SHOW UP DEAD FROM THE BAIT TABLETS!! GET OUT OF MY FUCKING SHOWERRRRR #shebbz shoutz

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this pelican was doing laps to make sure i could get the best photo :)

#shebbz irl #shebbz shoutz #beach #ocean #beach life #pelican

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since i've gotten in the habit of sitting perfectly still to watch hermit crabs, i've developed a fascination with finding very, very small seashells...

#the shark tooth was a party favor at a local art event but i'm including it for scale! #shebbz irl #seashell #beach life #mermaidcore #malacology #shebbz shoutz

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🐕

May I offer you a dog emoji in these trying times?

just took a vertebrate exam and ichthyology exam back-to-back and all i can say is WOW look at that highly-derived lobe-finned fish

#shebbz shoutz #ask

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there's a whole genre of posts where someone denies an accusation/diagnosis and then comes back 3+ years later all sheepish like "you guys were right!!" and it's made people way too comfortable calling those bets and trying to profile total strangers. like just because you guessed what color their underwear was doesn't suddenly justify you looking through their bedroom window

C. Can I guess? Were people assuming your friends are ace based on the kissing post???

yeah and it's nuts because, like, (1) yeah i already know that because he told me but i'm not going to provide full character bios for every person i post about, and (2) i think people are too comfortable diagnosing/profiling complete strangers, and what's more, (3) if he didn't tell me that information then it's not my business and it's not yours either. like it's not so much the Thing itself it's the Principle Of The Thing.

i know my freelancing business kind of hinges on maintaining a chummy, familiar rapport with online randos, but we all need to remember that we don't know each other, and it's weird to just tell someone point blank something that you have assumed about them or their friends/family regardless of whether it's true

#shebbz shoutz

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C. Can I guess? Were people assuming your friends are ace based on the kissing post???

yeah and it's nuts because, like, (1) yeah i already know that because he told me but i'm not going to provide full character bios for every person i post about, and (2) i think people are too comfortable diagnosing/profiling complete strangers, and what's more, (3) if he didn't tell me that information then it's not my business and it's not yours either. like it's not so much the Thing itself it's the Principle Of The Thing.

i know my freelancing business kind of hinges on maintaining a chummy, familiar rapport with online randos, but we all need to remember that we don't know each other, and it's weird to just tell someone point blank something that you have assumed about them or their friends/family regardless of whether it's true

#shebbz shoutz #ask

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professor for my 8am ochem class keeps rhetorically asking "do you think i just go down into my dungeon and concoct new ways to make you all miserable?" and everyone keeps flatly answering "yes" and every time he goes "DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT? :((("

#shebbz shoutz

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making posts online about your friends/family is insane, not just tumblr posts like it's all social media, like people will be coming up to you personally and telling you things with their full chest about a guy they read two sentences about like it's new information, and it's either shit you already know, because it's YOUR friends/family and you actually know them irl, or it's shit that's patently false, because again, these people read two sentences about them. "i think your friend such-and-such" yeah he is because he told me "i think your brother such-and-such" no he isn't because i have laid mine eyes upon him irl and can see that he is not. insanity.

#stop talking about strangers online like you know them lol just because i have a fuckzillion followers doesn't mean i'm a tv show character #shebbz shoutz

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“What type of people do you follow on tumblr?”

Only the Pussymaster, ya know, the typical.

Accept No Substitutes!

#shebbz shoutz #ask #i need to go to bed i have 2 exams tomorrow

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friend of mine at the dinner table said "how do you kiss someone for over twelve minutes and not, like, die?" and i was like "do you think people hold their breath???" and they said "no, but i mean, how do you keep your face on someone's face for THAT LONG?" and i said "it's NOT hard, i've made out for WAY longer than twelve minutes, twelve minutes is NOTHING it's like BARELY ANYTHING!" and my other friend who's 19 going on 12 just looks me dead in the eye and says "OKAY, PUSSYMASTER!" and guys, i think i have a new official title i'm going to ask that everyone address me by,

#shebbz shoutz #and then someone else at the table took a photo of me dabbing

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ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

#art #sketch #orig #dinosaur #paleoart #paleontology #raptor #velociraptor #david lynch #the dog who is so angry he cannot move #memes #meme redraw