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DIABOLIK LOVERS BLOODY BOUQUET Tower Records Tokuten Drama CD ”Vampire Collection 20XX ~The White Dress is Dyed Crimson~”

Original title: 魔界的!? 『ワル』ってどんなヤツ!?

Source: Diabolik Lovers BLOODY BOUQUET Tower Records Tokuten Drama CD

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Katsuyuki Konishi, Midorikawa Hikaru, Takashi Kondou, Takahiro Sakurai, Kishio Daisuke & Morikubo Shoutaro

Translator’s note: This is honestly the DL content I live for: just pure madness and the boys being idiots. While the other Bloody Bouquet tokuten CD was very informative and interesting as it explained some of the different species wedding rituals, I think I enjoyed the plot of this one just a bit more. It was really cute to see all the boys genuinely get excited about the dress idea they came up with. Especially my tsun tsun boy Subaru was so cute, he made my heart throb. I wish we could have gotten more details on his specific design, but judging by Ayato and Ruki’s remarks, I suppose it was quite simple. (Then again, simple is best, right?)

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*Tick・tock・tick・tock・tick・tock*

*Rustle*

Reiji: …Good grief. I told them a million times we would work on the outfit after school today, so where are Ayato and Shin hanging out!?

Azusa: Reiji-san…Calm down. …Eve. We’re so sorry for keeping you waiting when you were so kind as to join us here today.

You ask them why you are here in the first place.

Ruki: Ah. Right. We have yet to explain why we’ve had you come here today, right? I suppose we could get that out of the way while we wait for Subaru to drag those two over.

*Rustle*

Ruki: You know the mixed grade classes organized for home economics, right? The present assignment has the guys making outfits for the girls with the theme being ‘an outfit that will emphasize a woman’s natural charm’.

Reiji: The groups were decided through a system of lottery in last week’s class and by some cruel twist of fate…Ayato, Subaru, Ruki, Azusa, Shin and myself all ended up in the same group. …Well, I suppose there is nothing we can do about it now, so let us move to the important part. Once all outfits have been completed, a fashion show will be held. And we would like you to represent us as our group’s model.

You seem shocked.

Reiji: It will not be anything too difficult. All you have to do is wear the outfit we created and walk across the catwalk.

You remain hesitant.

Azusa: If you…agree to being our model…I’m sure we’ll be able to give it our best shot…Can we rely on you?

You nod.

Azusa: Fufu…Thank you.

Ruki: Today we will settle on the design and begin the creation procedure. If you’d like to share your opinion as well, please do not hesitate to do so.

Subaru enters the room with Ayato and Shin.

Subaru: …Oi. I dragged their asses here just like you asked me to.

Azusa: Subaru-san…Good job.

Reiji: Ayato, Shin! What have you been up to!?

Ayato: Aah…!? Isn’t that obvious!? I forgot! Don’t be askin’ me stupid questions!

Shin: I’m not running late, I purposely chose not to come. …God. I can’t believe I got caught by one of those Sakamaki’s out of all people, when I was just trying to go home. I suffered the biggest humiliation of the century.

Subaru: I wasn’t exactly stoked ‘bout havin’ to come get you bastards either! It’s just, well…

Reiji: Heh. You wanted to show off to her, didn’t you?

Subaru: Haah…!? T-That’s not it…!

Azusa: Calm down, guys. …For now, Subaru-san, Ayato-san, Shin-san, you should join us here and have a seat.

Ayato: Ahー What a fuckin’ pain in the ass…Let’s just get this over with.

The three of them take a seat.

Reiji: You sure have some nerve to say that after being late.

Ruki: Well then, let’s get started right away. Everyone, pull out the designs you were asked to make till today and put them down on your desks.

*Rustle rustle*

Ruki: Well then, let’s announce them one by oー …Hm? Shin. Hurry up and take out your sketches.

Shin: I didn’t prepare anything. What made you think I’d bother wasting time on some stupid activity invented by inferior humans?

Azusa: But…We’re part of the same group so…It’s important you do your part…or we’ll be troubled.

Shin: Tough luck, buddy. …For starters, do they really expect a Founder such as myself to work together with Sakamaki and Mukami peeps? Even if it’s for class, I’m gonna have to hard pass on that! I refuse to, no matter what!

Ayato: Haah…Can you please go like one minute without mentionin’ the word ‘Founder’? You’re starting’ to sound like a broken record. (1) Hehehe…

Shin: Haah? Try saying that one more time, you Takoyaki Vampire!

Ayato: Takoyaki Vampire!? What was that, bastard!?

*Rustle*

*Clap clap clap*

Reiji: …Okay, stop right there! …Shin, are you sure this is what you want? You will receive a zero for the assignment and might just end up having to repeat your year just like a certain Deadbeat.

Ruki: You’re the one who will bear the negative consequences of not participating. If that’s what you wish, I shall tell the teacher in charge that you will be dropping out from our group.

Shin: Haah…!? I didn’t know that I would get a zero for not participating!? …If I get a bad score, Nii-san will put my head on the chopping block…Oi, let’s get this thing started! Come on, hurry!!

Ayato: God…He keeps on changing his mind every two damn seconds. What’s your problem, Mr. Eyepatch Glasses?

Shin: Oh shut up! I don’t want to hear that from the guy who showed up late just like me!

Ayato: Don’t assume I’m the same as you when I always intended to participate, but I simply forgot about it! Mr. Eyepatch Glasses.

Shin: You little…!

Shin gets up from his seat.

Shin: You better don’t think I’m going to sit still and let you run your mouth like that! Fuck off!

Ayato: What? You wanna fight, bud!?

Reiji: You two! Sit down, now!

Ayato & Shin: SHUT UP!

Reiji: Haah…I have nothing else to add. …Subaru, you deal with those two.

Subaru: Haah!? Why is it always me!? …Che. Oi, Ayato and Shin. Lay it off already. Can’t you tell that she’s freakin’ out not knowin’ what to do?

Ayato: This is none of your business so just shut up and watch! …Ah. Or what? Are you hopin’ to strut your stuff to Chichinashi?

Subaru: Wha…!? Excuse me!? Don’t be talkin’ shit ‘bout me!

*THUD*

Reiji: Subaru!! While I did ask you to do something about those two, I did not give you permission to destroy school property! Do you understand who will be the one paying the reparation costs?

Ruki: Haah…Good grief. I am so done with these Sakamaki’s and Tsukinami’s. …Azusa, lend Reiji a hand in stopping Ayato and Shin.

Azusa: Mmh. …But I’m not sure if I’ll be able to handle it by myself so…Eve, help me out. I’ll stop Shin-san…so could you do the same for Ayato-san?

You nod.

*Rustle*

Azusa: Hey, Shin-san, Ayato-san…Let’s talk things over. So please, leave the fighting at that…

Ayato: What’s your problem, Chichinashi!? Back off! …Shin. If you apologize to me right now, I’ll show my generous heart and forgive you.

Shin: Hah! Apologize, me? In your dreams! Although if you apologize to me first, I might just be willing to let it slide.

Azusa: Hey…The meeting…

Shin: Che…Could you please shut up for one second? You’re in the way, move!

*Rustle*

Azusa: Ugh…

Azusa stumbles and falls to the floor.

*Thud*

Azusa: Ah…That hurt…I can’t believe you’d push me away out of nowhere…But…I don’t dislike this. Hey, Shin-san? …More, please…

*Rustle*

Azusa: Why don’t you hit me…instead of Ayato-san?

*Rustle*

Azusa: Please…You don’t mind, do you?

Shin: Haah!? What’s your probleーー

Azusa: …Shin-san…!

*Rustle*

Shin: Ugh…! Stay away! Let go of my arm!

Azusa: You won’t hit me…? Then Ayato-san, will you punch me instead…?

*Rustle*

Ayato: …!? Why are you comin’ to me for that!?

Azusa: Will you send me flying…?

Ayato: Cut it out!!

*Rustle*

Azusa: But the two of you are fighting, right…? In that case…Let me join as well.

Ayato: Ugh…We were just done with our fight. Right, Shin? ー Oi, Chichinashi! Let’s get back to our seats!

Shin: Y-Yeah! What he said! Come on, we should head back too, Azusa.

Azusa: Oh…You’re already done throwing fists? …I guess it can’t be helped. Let’s just give it our all during the meeting instead then.

Shin: Ugh…What’s up with that guy? He throws me off…

Reiji: Haah…They finally calmed down? Good grief…Well then, let us return to the topic at hand.

Ruki: Exactly. Well then, let’s resume the meeting at once. About the bride’s dress we’ll be making this time…

Your eyes widen in surprise.

Azusa: Eve…What’s wrong?

You explain.

Subaru: Haah…? You’re not confident you’ll be able to pull off a wedding dress? No need to worry ‘bout that.

You tilt your head to the side.

Subaru: W-Why, you ask? …Because you know…No matter what you wear, you’ll always…

Shin: What was that, Subaru?

Subaru: I didn’t say anythin’, really…! You know, it’s too late to start lookin’ for another model now, so you just gotta take responsibility and do it. Got it!?

You reluctantly nod.

Subaru: Reiji…! Don’t be spacin’ out and keep this damn thing goin’!

Reiji: Excuse me? Why the sudden rush? …Oh well, who would like to present their idea first?

Ayato: Oh! Leave it to Yours Truly! I came up with the perfect design!

Ruki: For some reason, I can only see this ending badly. Will this turn out okay?

Reiji: What a coincidence. I feel the exact same way. However, let’s at least take a look at it.

Ayato: Look closely! This is what I came up with!

*Flip*

Ayato: Its name is as you’d expect ーー The Takoyaki Dress!

Ruki: This is…Isn’t it just a brown-colored dress with a poofy skirt?

Ayato: It’s not! Have a good look at this part right here. The way the skirt poofs up and takes a perfectly round shape looks exactly like one big Takoyaki, doesn’t it?

Subaru: Oi, Ayato…Did you seriously think she’d be thrilled with a dress like that?

Ayato: Excuse me? Not only did I go through the trouble of designin’ this dress for her, but she gets to look just like my favorite food! What would she have to complain about? Right, Chichinashi!?

You avert your gaze.

Ayato: What’s with that reaction!? Does it not scream ‘Takoyaki’ to you yet? In that case, I’ll add a pink-and-green colored hair accessory to represent the bonito and seaweed flakes usually sprinkled on top. Alternatively, we could make a bunch of small takoyaki balls and then…

*Scribble scribble*

Ayato: Sew them to the hem of the dress just like this! What do you think?

You slowly nod.

Ayato: Right!? It’s a genius idea, isn’t it? But I guess it’s a bit of a waste of effort to make takoyaki which isn’t even edible. …Maybe we should just use real ones instead? Then I can have some during the show if I were to get hungry!

Azusa: Ayato-san…I’m afraid that’s a bit much…even for Eve…

Ayato: Hmー But the issue is how we’ll attach it to the dress…

Reiji: Haah…Seems like he’s got his head full of takoyaki right now, he can’t hear us. Well then, let us ignore him and keep going. …Okay, who’s next?

*Rustle*

Azusa: Me. Please take a look at my design. …I believe that a wedding dress should be white…So I thought you could perhaps wear these…?

*Rustle*

Ruki: Those are the bandages you always wear, no?

Azusa: Mmh. Exactly.

Shin: And what is she supposed to do with these?

Azusa: Fufu…Shin-san. Could you please stand up for me for a sec?

Shin: Where did that come from? Guess I have no other choice…

Shin gets up from his seat.

Azusa: …

*Rustle rustle*

Azusa: Just like this, see…?

He begins wrapping the bandages around Shin.

*Rustle rustle*

Shin: Huh? What…? …O-Oiーー!

*Rustle rustle*

Azusa: We’d wrap bandages…all around her body…and just like that…voila! It creates the illusion that you’re wearing a white wedding dress, no?

Ayato: I mean, I’d call that a mummy, not someone wearing a dress.

Azusa: Besides, you can even adjust the length of the dress. By wrapping them a little tighter like this…

*Rustle rustle*

Shin: Wait…Ow, ow, ow…! Oi, you bastard! Hurry up and loosen these bandages!

Azusa: Fufufu…It hurts, Shin-san? I bet it feels amazing, no? Also…By dyeing the bandages with blood, you could even change its color to red.

Ayato: You’ve got the perfect set-up for a horror movie!

Ruki: Azusa, release Shin at once.

*Rustle*

Azusa: Okay…

*Rustle rustle*

Shin: Cough, cough…! Haah…Azusa, are you trying to kill me!?

Ayato: Thank god it was just Shin right now. If you would have done this to Chichinashi, things could have gone south real quick! This idea is out of the question.

Azusa: Hm…You think so? I thought it was…a great idea…

Subaru: God…I can’t believe I’m here listenin’ to some dudes goin’ on ‘bout takoyaki or bandages…Did none of you come up with a half decent idea?

Ayato: What? So you’re trying to say that you came up with a good design?

Azusa: Exactly…Subaru-san, if you’re going to say that, please show us your design.

Subaru: I mean, it’s not like mine is anythin’ to write home ‘bout but…It’s this.

*Flip*

Shin: Oh? Seems like someone actually put some serious thought into it.

Ayato: What’s this, Subaru? Were you really that uninspired that you went with the most basic thing imaginable?

Subaru: …That’s not it! …It’s just that… (mumbles) I figured she’d look cute in pretty much any dress anyway…

Reiji: Hm? What did you say just now? We could not hear you at all. You have to speak loud and clear when you want to make a statement.

Subaru: …!! Y-You know…I thought that she…WOULD LOOK GOOD IN JUST ‘BOUT ANYTHIN’, OKAY!? Listen up! I actually did my research, you know!?

First up, the color. I’m sure you’d look lovely in any color, but a pale pink shade fits your pure image best, don’t you think? Also…! I figured a slim-fitting dress would bring out your figure more, so I thought that’d work well for you…Furthermore…Ah, just so you know, I’m not into this kinda crap or anythin’! Okay!?

Azusa: Could it be…Subaru-san, are you the kind of guy who pretends to not be interested at all…but then turns out to be the most hopeful of them all…?

Reiji: I’m sure it was the only thing on his mind during the time he spent cooped up in his coffin.

Shin: So you like to let your imagination run free, huh? Perv.

Ruki: Subaru, I can completely relate to you. However, I believe you still have a long way to go if you came up with something so simple after spending a considerable amount of time thinking about it.

Subaru: Haah!? Excuse me!? Did you come up with a better design then, huh!?

Ruki: Yes, of course. Well then, allow me to show you right away.

*Flip*

Reiji: T-This is…!

Shin: Uwah…

Ruki: I believe it is of utmost importance that one’s wedding dress is a direct reflection of their unique personality. Therefore, I gave myself a completely blank slate to work with. For the color, I settled with a shade of purple to give off a mature feel.

However, one solid color would not be very stylish, would it now? Therefore, I decided to add a few patterns which are currently trending. A floral pattern for the top part and polka dots for the skirt. With the fabric being purple, I figured that shades of red and green would work well with it.

Shin: Hey…Aren’t those colors which actually clash with each other?

Reiji: I believe so as well…But he might have chosen them for a specific reason. Let’s give him a chance to finish his explanation.

Ruki: Finally, I decided to add orange ribbons to the hair and on the lower back. I believe a dress like this could move far beyond a school’s fashion show and even be featured in the Paris Collection.

Ayato: Oi Ruki…Are you bein’ for real? You seriously think that shit would look good on Chichinashi?

Ruki: That goes without saying. Do you see a problem with it, perhaps?

Subaru: It’s one big problem!! There’s no way we can put her in that thing! The design I came up with is still ten times better than that hot mess of a dress!

Azusa: When it comes to these kinds of things…Ruki tends to have somewhat more of a…peculiar taste…But this time…

*Rustle rustle*

Ruki: Oi, Azusa! Don’t touch my stuff without permission! Those are the references I used!

Subaru: Hm? What’s this? Cut outs from women’s fashion magazines?

Azusa: Kou feared things would not end well with Ruki’s unique fashion sense…so he anticipated by trying to provide Ruki with these cut outs…However…

Reiji: He ended up mixing and matching elements from the various outfits and ultimately ended up with a strange final product, correct?

Azusa: Mmh…

Ayato: Honestly, I almost want to applaud him.

Ruki: Oi. You understand just how amazing my fashion sense truly is, right?

You shake your head.

Ruki: Excuse me…!? How come nobody gets it!?

Shin: I definitely don’t~

Ruki: …!! Then, Shin. Have you gotten any ideas yourself from listening to the other presentations? If you have the nerve to say such things, you must have come up with a great idea? Speak up!

Shin: Ahーah…Geez. Could you not take out your anger on me because things didn’t go your way? I don’t really care about the design in the first place. Not to mention, it’d be a pain to make something overly complicated. …Although, I guess if I had to name something, I’d say that a revealing dress would be ideal. Like that, I’d be able to suck her blood whenever I want to.

You take your distance.

Shin: Heh. Why are you suddenly backing away? I never said I’d latch only you right here, right now, did I? I mean, if you insist…I wouldn’t mind leaving my mark right on your chest right now. Then I’ll have you participate in that fashion show wearing a dress with a plunging neckline. It’d be the perfect opportunity to show everyone that you are mine.

Ayato: Oi, it’s time to get off your high horse! Chichinashi doesn’t just belong to you!

Ruki: Exactly. Besides, even if classes have ended, we are still at school. Such statements do not belong here.

Shin: I never asked for you guys’ opinion, did I? So mind your own business.

Azusa: Our own business? But you’re the one…who started this…Besides…We’re still amidst the meeting right now…

Shin: Ugh…Oh shut up, will you? …I bet you actually want me to do those things to you, right?

You flinch.

Subaru: Hah! She seems to absolutely despise the thought of it. Not only did your stupid little fantasies get rejected by her, we were all here to witness it as well. Loser.

Shin: Haah!?

Reiji: Ahem! …Personally, I payed more mind to the fabric itself, rather than the overall design of the dress.

Ruki: Hooh?

Reiji: Therefore, I started by selecting a fabric with the optimal hue and feel, before settling on a design which would help truly bring the whole piece to life.

*Rustle rustle*

Reiji: And that’s when…!

*Rustle*

Azusa: Wow…That’s a lot of different kinds of fabric…

Reiji: I have already gone ahead and ordered all of the fabric I would need.

*Rustle*

Reiji: The way it feels against your skin…Just as I thought, I made an excellent choice.

*Rustle*

Reiji: You will be wearing a dress made from this fabric, so why don’t you try touching it as well?

You run your fingers across the fabric.

Reiji: What do you think? Do you like it?

You nod.

Reiji: I am very glad to hear that. Well then, with all the fabric we need already lined up here, I believe we should get to the actual dress-making right away. Now then, if you would please stand still here.

*Rustle*

Reiji: Hm…Mm…Mmh…

*Rustle rustle*

Reiji: I already had everything roughly sized to fit your frame so why don’t we adjust the length of the hem first?

*Rustle*

Reiji: Ah, come on. Did I not tell you to keep still? If you move carelessly, I might accidentally prick you with one of these needles.

I mean, while I’m at it, I might as well go for my own preferred design.

Ayato: Oi, Reiji! Don’t be stealin’ the damn show all for yourself!

Reiji: We can’t let Reiji run away with all of the credit. Why don’t we join in as well and combine all of our ideas into one?

Azusa: I’m in…Well then…I’ll start by wrapping this bandage…

*Rustle rustle*

Azusa: Around her chest…

Ayato: I haven’t given up on my takoyaki dress either! Imma borrow this brown fabric for a sec!

*Rustle*

Reiji: Wha…!? Azusa! Who told you it was okay to wrap a bandage around her? Cut it out at once! You too, Ayato! Why are you trying to take off her skirt!?

Ayato: Isn’t that obvious? I’m going to replace it with a brown one!

Ruki: I won’t let you do as you please either, Reiji. …Ayato, let me use my fabric for the right part of the skirt.

Subaru: I’m the one who knows what’ll suit her best! …I’m positive somethin’ like this would look way better on her.

*Rustle*

Reiji: Ruki! I’d honestly feel bad for her having to wear one of your fashion disasters! If you insist on adding a pattern there, at least go for something like polka dots! ーー Subaru! The fabric you selected is meant to be used as an inner layer! Don’t use it for the outside of the dress!

Shin: …I’m not goin’ to let you guys leave me in the dust like this. …Oi! You’re covering her up way too much! Those shoulders need to be bare!

*Rustle rustle*

Subaru: I don’t want Reiji to have his way so…Oi, Shin! I’ll help out too!

Reiji: You two, don’t just tug onto the fabric like that! If you want to trim a part, at least use scissors! Hey! Are you listening!? …Aah, fine!! We’ll think of a design which encompasses all of our ideas, but please just stop for now! Come on! Hands off! Listen to me…!!

*TIMESKIP*

Everyone: ーー We’re done!

Reiji: You guys had me sweating there for a second, but in the end, everything came together quite well.

Ayato: Better than I expected! …Still, I feel like it’s lacking a bit in takoyaki-ness…

Ruki: It’s too late for that now…We all decided on this design together, so don’t complain.

Azusa: At first I was skeptical…whether things would turn out okay if we were to combine all of our ideas but…I guess it’s because Eve is our model…It turned out really cute.

Shin: Well, I’m sure it’ll be well-received at the fashion show.

Subaru: Say…Can I ask somethin’? We were supposed to create a dress for a bride, right?

Ruki: Yes? And?

Subaru: Then don’t we need someone…to escort her during the fashion show?

Reiji: You do make a fair point. Every bride needs a groom by her side after all.

Shin: I guess that means we’ll need one guy to walk next to you on the day of the show.

Subaru: Ahem…I-I guess I’ll take one for the team and do it.

Azusa: ‘Take one for the team’? Oh no, please don’t force yourself, Subaru-san. I’ll walk next to Eve, okay?

Ayato: Hold it, you guys! That spot’s obviously reserved for Yours Truly!

Reiji: Fufu…Do you truly believe any of you could take such a big responsibility upon yourself? I will take it upon myself.

Shin: Nah. I believe I should go, being a Founder and all.

Ruki: No, it should be me. …Say, who would you prefer?

You protest.

Ayato: Haah…? What do you mean, you’re not doing it?

You explain.

Ruki: Why would the dress be weird? We used the high-quality fabric which Reiji arranged for us. The left part of the skirt was made to resemble a takoyaki’s shape after Ayato’s suggestion, while the right part reflects my polka dot design. The upper part of the dress exposes your shoulders like Shin wanted and we wrapped one of Azusa’s bandages around your chest. …You gave it green light as well, didn’t you, Subaru?

Subaru: …!! …Ugh.

Reiji: You should just genuinely express your delight.

You shake your head.

Reiji: Wha…!? What do you mean, you’re not happy!?

You turn around.

Azusa: Ah! Eve! Where are you going!?

Shin: You won’t be participating in the fashion show!? What are you saying now!? Don’t run away!

You make a run for it.

Everyone: Wait!

They start chasing after you.

Subaru: Hold it!

Ayato: Wait!

Azusa: Wait…!

Shin: Oi…You…Oi!!

Ruki: Where are you going, Livestock!?

Reiji: Hey, you…!

Ayato: Oi, Chichinashi! I said waitーー!!

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes

(1) He literally asks Shin if he’s a ‘common hill myna’ which is a type of bird which is known for its talking/imitating what other people say, similar to what some parrots do.

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