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bbybaku · 3 years

Note

can you do more BNHA college boyfriend content? I really loved the Shigaraki one (sorry, english is not my first language)

anything for you anon

(also youre english is perfect and so are you)

def gonna make this 2 parts lolol

mha college bf head cannons

shinso

sfw

probably majoring in something finance related

wants to take care of you

as in you two go shopping like every other weekend

has a ton of money from investing in crypto currency and getting lucky

yall also go out to eat all the time

and not like fast food like nice sit down places

you two spoon constantly

like sleeping face to face limbs intertwined

he loves to sit with his head between your legs while watching tv

or when you two are laying down and you hold his head into your chest and hee holds your hips

you both have apartments but he likes yours because its better deccorated than his

has an amazing taste in music

makes you playlists all the time

uses old spice deodorant

mr hitoshi is a man who always smells good

has amazing hygene

you talked him into growing his hair out

now hes always asking you to play with it

is very good at school without even trying

which drives you crazy because he always talks you out of studying

scares off a lot of people with his scary features

which makes his insecure and needed a lot of reassureance at the start of your relationship.

but these days he owns your ass

nsfw

tpyically a soft dom

is huge

took you a while to get used to how big he is

likes to put you in stressful situations just so he can reassure you

“shhhh hey its okay im here”

“this will stop if you use the safe word, hmm oh whats that you want to keep going?”

“good girl”

stressfull situations as in he over stimulates you every god dam time.

nothing makes him harder than you crying from pleasure

he spoils you

once spent $200 on toys just for you because he was going out of town for a week

his gifts for you do come with a cost

shinso goes ferral for blowjobs

and he wants them all the time

you have def given head in an alarming amount of public restrooms

very into roleplay

almost jizzed his pants when you put on cat ears once

same thing when you bought a maid outfit

in case you were wondering, yes his pubes are purple too.

sex playlist

homeboy loves period sex

is very into aftercare

like reads womens magazines about it

has a sexy voice and knows it

has a mirror in front of his bed because its all about eye contact

definition of intamacy with this man

knows how to treat his partner

aizawa

the thing about aizawa is he isnt your boyfriend he is your husband

probaby in grad school for like english

so a lil older

but thats okay

he makes up for it in being hot

and he has cats

with very obscure names like katsu and mochi

since he was older he invited you to live with him

you said yes of course

the cats liked you right away

apartment full of books and windows

shouta drank wine almost every night

would grade papers for the class he assisted in

loved holding hands everywhere

not the biggester spooner

but would hold you really close on the couch while you two watched films while wine drunk

he was an introvert so you two spent most nights in

and when you two did go out it was always something interesting

like trivia night, or seeing a band play, or going to a dinner party

was the kind of boyfriend who was really good at co existing with you

like what is awkward silence

the vibe is just so positive

and you two are so comfortable with each other

nsfw

mr aizawa is a kinky mf behind the scenes

he does not have sex he fucks

very good with ropes

loved controlling you

could fuck all day

like man had stamina

when you two went out to dinner he would push your underwear to the side finger you under the table

and whisper other times hes humiliated you while you squirmed under his grip

gotta call him daddy

or sir

or master

he is the type to tie you up with your arms behind your back and put a vibrator on your clit then just disappear for an hour

also big on choking

like real big on choking

he’ll just rest his hand on your throat while you two are doing mundane thing

also asserts dominance constantly

like holding your hips at the grocery store

kissing you in a crowded place

extremely possessive

probably has a few paddles

likes to spank

really likes to brat tame

you say “make me” and you are in for a wild night

man will wear rings when he fucks you

fingers you

and chokes you

you usually come first

unless you’ve been bad

then aizawa will edge you for hours

bakugou

sfw

the definition of “i hate everyone but you”

like once you figured out how to communicate with him

best bf ever

history major

lives in a house with like 6 of his friends

but don’t worry he has his own room

always at the gym

since he’s very muscular he rarely wears a shirt when you two hang out

and he always wants you to lay on top of him

like imagine him being the ceo of picking you up and throwing you on the bed

then jumping on you

kisses. bakugo would want to make out a lot

very temperamental

like if he’s hungry or sleepy or too hot he will snap at you

but you know by now not to take it personally

also would have a ton of funny nicknames for you

examples : headass, stinky, the first letter of your name or ugly

but he would say it in a loving way

❤️ hey ugly❤️

you loved his friends

didn’t know how he scored them with how mean he was

you two spent a ton of time just lounging in his bed

liked to play fight

and bicker

really liked deep convos too like he would push you to think harder and tell him more about yourself

he didn’t say it a lot but he really liked you

nsfw

katsuki bakugou is an ass man.

big dick energy

he’s the type who wanted you to ride him all the time

but he would be in control when you rode him like death grip on your hips

he also liked to hit if from the back

likes to slam into you

the way you jiggled made him harder

not the type to hold in his grunts and moans made a lot of noise during sex

his roomates hated you guys for how loud you were

def likes his girls a lil chubby

grabbed your ass every chance he had

found porn stars that look like yours make jerking off more fun

loves fingering you.

also big degrader

you two had a lot of angry sex and a lot of make up sex

got real cranky when he was horny and couldn’t have you

took videos of you during sex to rewatch later

you got so turned on when he snapped at you

it drove him nuts

basically you two fucked a lot lol

masterlist

#my hero academy fanfiction #my hero headcanons #bnha shinsou #bnha smut #bnha shinso hitoshi #shinsou headcanons #shinso smut #shinso fluff #aizawa headcanons #aizawa smut #eraserhead #aizawa fluff #aizawa hcs #katsuki bakugou smut #bnha bakugo katsuki #bakugo fluff #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou smut

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goddessofmadnessheiress · 3 years

Text

Barry Allen x Reader - Sleeping beauty's nightmare

Fandom: Flash

Request: @kurtbastianlover said:

Summary: You and Barry are best friends, but he gets up on a fight with a metahuman that put him in a deep sleep. Apparently, you are the only one that can save him. But how? You are only his best friends...

Warnings: Mention of smut

Words: 2607 (Sorry that it is shorter than most my fics)

Notes: Sorry for the late reply, I have this written for one year already. But last year was a hell for me... I only start writting fics at the end of the year. That was the only request I could post. Thanks for requesting and I hope this will one of the many fic I write for you as a thank you for all you done for me my friend.

(y/h/c): your hair color; (y/e/c):your eyes color

Sorry any grammar mistake, english isn’t my first language and I wrote that at the hospital when my aunt got hurt, so maybe the story is rushed...

You do not know which or how the metahuman done that. All you know is that Barry is unconscious and nothing that the team done were successful to wake him up.

When Cisco called you while you were on work you knew something bad had happened. You enter running on the Star Labs, not paying attention at all on your friends.

You almost knocked down your childhood friend Iris to the ground trying to reach the man you loved so much. But he did not know that and do not need to know.

Barry already have so many things to worry about and protecting his childhood friend as a romantic partner should not be on his list.

The thing that you do not know is that he feels the same way with you. He just did not find the right time to tell you and maybe now after the encounter with his metahuman he will never be able to talk to you about this.

Barry is lying down on the medical laboratory with Caitlyn checking his vital from minute to minute. His body have so many wires attached to him that you do not the function of more than a half of them.

Caitlyn smiles sadly to you. She figured it out how you two felt for each other a while ago. She is trying to get you two to start dating but without giving each other feeling, she thinks you need to say each to each other and not get another person pointing them out for you.

You sit across from her monitor and by Barry's side. You automatically put your hand over his. He looks like he is just sleeping.

And that relaxes you. He does not look like dead or physically injured. Cisco said something about him being in an eternal coma or something.

The thing that makes you worry more is the inconstant movements Barry's body is doing. It is not conscious and looks like he is having a nightmare.

And you could not be closer to truth than that. Barry is trapped in a nightmare. An eternal nightmare where his worst fear keeps repeating does not matter what he does.

It always begins different but the end it the same independent of what he does in the middle of it. And that is crushing him. Having to rewatch that over and over again.

This time it begins something heartwarming. The sun light bathing him and the constant light on his eyes makes him wake up even if he does not want that.

And he does not, if he stays sleeping maybe he did not need to watch the disaster all over again.

He turns into the bed and a moaning of his name from a warn body that is close to his makes a laugh escape his lips.

There you are. Hugging him, your form is small close to his. You are naked under the covers just like him.

He does not remember last night, because it did not actually happen but even this way, he feels his checks getting warmer with just the idea of finally making love to you just the way he wished since his teen years.

He cannot help but moan out load too when he feels your chest over his bare skin. A silent promise that you are his.

He does not want to wake you up. But the need to ask with you liked last night even though he knew dawn well that this is not real overtook him.

He kisses your libs repeatedly till your (e/c) eyes open and met his green ones. His hearts skip a beat seeing the lust missed with sleep clouding your shining eyes.

-Hi there. -His voice sounds so smooth that even him do not recognizes it.

-Hey baby. -You answer trying to be sexy, but the sleepiness is all over your tone. Even like this Barry thinks you are the prettiest thing he ever saw. -We need to be up so early?

-No. We do not. -Barry answers smiling. -But I want to be with you for a little longer.

In a blink of an eyes Barry's lips is on yours. Distracted by his kiss you do not feel when his arms snake your waist and pull you to him.

Your naked form over his is heaven. You feel how much he is liking all the make out. His smile when you part is the brightest it ever was.

-Round 2? -You ask malicious already looking for a condom on the nightstand. Knowing dawn hell, the answer is yes.

Because as Nickelback said, ‘Sex is never a question because the answer is always yes.’ You kiss the speedster again, savoring the moment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You feel Barry pulling your body against his while you are trying to do the breakfast. By the minute it passed he was closer to you.

Because every second he wasted he knew what would happen. And he wanted to save you, but he never could.

He lost the count of how many times he was into this loop. This cursed dream put him into heaven when he is with you as he always wished and then crash him into hell taking you again from him in the darkest ways.

He never knows when it will appear, but every loop was a different enemy. The first was Reverse Flash, then Zoom, Savitar, Cicada and a lot more.

Maybe the loop will begin all over again. His arms snakes harder around your waist when he hears the front door opening.

His heartbeat slows down when he sees Caitlyn getting closer. He smiles at her, not caring that you and he are still naked.

He was expecting a murderer. Seeing a friend is a blessing. Maybe this was real after all, maybe he was pulled out of this nightmare.

But his heart tightens when she does not answer his smile. Her expression is sadness and a white strain in her hair makes Barry holds his breath.

-I am so sorry. -She says before losing her conscious and that silver eyes shine with madness.

-Killer Frost please no! -Barry begs trying to put himself in front of you. But she is faster.

An ice dagger hits you on your heart. Blood all over the place and your numb body hits the floor.

Killer Frost disappears with a smile on her lips. Her translucid figure says before completely disappearing:

-It is all your fault. It always is.

Barry is over your screaming to you do not close your eyes. But it is already too late. You are cold. Rigid.

Dead.

His eyes are clouded with tears. In the next moment he is in front of your grave.

Buried with his parents. Cisco is by his side. But he is so serious that I do not look like him at all.

-I am sorry Barry. But I do not want to be the next one. -And then his best friend disappears leaving him all by himself.

No one by his side. Iris and Joe had not given up on him when they discovered you had died.

The trial tried to blame him. He almost went to jail. His father's story being repeat all over again.

Barry closes his eyes. And when he opens it again, he is in Joe's living room. Two kids came running and jumps on him.

-Daddy is back. -Barry look at the twins. The girl has your features and his eyes while the boy has his features and your (e/c) eyes.

-Oh, he is back? -You enter in the living room leaving the kitchen behind. Barry's heart almost leaves his chest when he is in your belly.

You are pregnant again. Oh no, please say that you will not die this time. Not with his child inside of your beautiful bellybutton.

Outside of the dreamland you feel his hands tanning around yours. You feel your heart thinning, you do not know what it is happening on his head.

But you know that must be something bad. And yours suspicious only are confirmed and he starts saying:

-No please. NO. Not her. -His body starts moving around and by instinct you left his hand. -(Y/n) please stay with me...

You have the impression of hearing your name coming out of his mouth, but you cannot confirm that because his body starts shaking.

He is convulsing on the bed and you feel your heart broking. Is he dying? You start crying and want to scream but your thongs are locked.

-(Y/n) leave! -Caitlyn starts screaming at you. -I need to save him.

You want to scream no. You want to say you also wants to save him. You want to hug him still everything passes.

But you cannot talk. You cannot move. You are frozen. Are you going to watch your love dying in front of you?

You feel Cisco pulling you out of the room. And you do not fight it. You let him pull you out of there.

Outside the room you instinctively hug him and buries your face on his chest. His smell helps you calm down.

The genius boy has an idea of entering Barry's nightmare to see what is happening so they could save him the right way.

Cisco passes your shaking body who is still crying but not as much as before to Iris. She hugs you properly.

You two leave the cortex and go to a more comfort place in Star Labs. Joe enters the room where you are in despair. He stops when seeing your puffy and red eyes.

He saw you growing up between his kids. He knew how you felt about Barry, him being your confident.

He also knew what Barry feels for you, after all is his son. Joe is Barry's confident too. So, his hearts tights at the vision of you crying.

You jump from the couch where you were siting by the side of Iris, who knows what is passing on the head of her father.

You two hug strongly and you start crying again. This is the same scene and situation of when Barry was hit by the lightning.

Cisco enters animatedly on the room. His smile is almost contagious. In his most serious tone, he announces:

-It is working. -He shows in his tablet a map of mind and a pair of googles that shined on the lights. -Let's save Barry!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You do not know exactly how this equipment works or how Cisco got this idea. And worst you were not sure if it will work.

The only thing that you know is that you need to need to lay in a bed side by side with Barry while using the googles and then you are into his mind.

With shaking hands, you put the glasses over your eyes and lays down. You cannot see anything because the equipment is not a see through.

A flashlight almost blinds you. And then you are in a church. You look around a like taken aback.

You see Joe and Iris on the Isle smiling. Cisco and Caitlin on the other side of it. Barry on the middle in a beautiful tux.

You run still him. And he is taken aback a little. Before you can register anything, you see yourself entering the church in a beautiful white outfit.

You walk at your own hands and you realize you are a little invisible. Barry is looking that you of his nightmare and the ghostly you are floating by his side.

This does not look like a nightmare. So, his nightmare is marrying you? But then yourself are on the island.

And a shadow emerges on the church's doors. A blade as fast as lighting hits the back of you and the blood stains the white material.

Barry falls to his knees and starts crying. So, his worst nightmare is losing you? You are a little taken aback by this.

You put a ghostly hand on his shoulder. He looks up at you and smiles. The dream restarts.

You two are alone in Star Labs. He explains to you the loop he is trapped in. How many times he saw you dying. How many different ways you died on his arms.

How everyone blames him in all the versions, and they leave him alone. He says that he is losing the love of his life and his family over and over and over again.

He said that the metahuman that put him into this hell recites something similar to a curse before he fainted into darkness and Barry fainting.

"You will fall into a sleep like death! But the speedster can be woken from his death sleep by only one true love's kiss."

Is that a Sleeping Beauty's reference?

But your brain is plain.

And you have frozen. The dream before the nightmare. The peace before chaos. The calm before the storm...

They all were a hint to whom should wake him up.

And it is you. You are the answer. You are Barry's true love.

You feel yourself disappearing. Your ghostly form plants a simple kiss on his lips. But before Barry could kiss you properly you have disappeared completely.

Your body wakes in a shock and you jump out of the bed. You feel Cisco's hand helping you gain your equilibrium back.

-I have the answer. -You announce removing the googles and smiling at them.

You briefly explain what happened when you were on Barry's mind. The dreams, the nightmare, everything.

-So, the metahuman shipped you two? -Cisco asks laughing at the idea.

-I more worried that the used Maleficent's lines. -Caitlyn says out loud and everyone looks at her in shock. -What? I used to like Disney...

-Which was your favorite movie then? -Iris asks playfully.

-Sky High. I always thought that Layla reminded of myself.

You shock your head in a negative gesture.

-Guys. Focus. We need to save Barry. -You say and Joe agrees with you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The gang left you after you finished your story. They have hopes that you are right. And they internally are happy that you two would finally be together.

You are looking at Barry numb body recalling his dream. You smile at the idea of marrying him someday.

And then the conversation comes back to your head. It is now or never it is as simples as:

A kiss.

A kiss would wake him up.

You laugh at the irony but with a fast heartbeat you plant your lips over his firmly.

He does not respond the act and you part from him. His green eyes shout open and they met with your (y/c) orbs.

You smile at him and he does the same.

-Hey there my sleeping beauty. -You say laughing at all this situation now that he is safe.

He kisses you again. Deeper, with so much passion and need. You two part needing air. You try to breath normal again.

-You are my warrior in shining armor, aren't you? -Barry says going for another kiss but you two get interrupted when the door busts open.

Cisco enters cheering and screaming. Happy that you two finally are together and that is best friend is safe.

You shake your head at his childish behavior but you happy seeing Barry fine and liking you just like you like him.

The Latino boy jumps over your now boyfriend and hugs him almost to death. But their laughs warm your heart.

This is the dream after the nightmare. The calm after the storm. And you are genuinely happy.

#Barry Allen #barry allen imagine #barry allen x reader #Flash #flash imagine #flash x reader #barry allen x you #The Flash #the flash imagine #the flash x reader #the flash x you

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kiss-my-freckle · 4 years

Text

An example of excusing and ignoring.

Part 1 of 2

Season one Tom was exactly what they gave us, but certain things stood out to me, and I never really paid mind to them because I felt the same as many others did and some still do. He was slated to die, so there’s no way he’s connected to the mythology. These things that stood out to me, I’m told to ignore by both sides of the shipper fandom. Things I have ignored for the sake of Daddygate. So yes, when I first saw these things with Tom, I did excuse and ignore them, saw them just as others did. Until I couldn’t anymore. For me, 2x19 was the unveiling of Tom just as the 5x22 imposter reveal was of Red - I hope that makes sense. 2x19 basically told me to go back and rewatch S1. So I went back. One of the biggest scenes that stood out to me, was the gun to Liz’s head. On the outside, a violent man willing to punch her in the head for the sake of escaping. Putting a gun to her head NEVER made sense. Like ever. Not when you actually rewatch everything leading up to that particular scene. To excuse or ignore this, for me, would be silly after 2x19.

So let me tell you why it bothered me prior to 2x19.

Berlin hires a man to act as his basic double. Fancy that, given current storyline. We’re to believe this double is the real Berlin, and is the very man Tom appears to be working for. It actually makes sense for Berlin to hire this man to act as himself. Having a double serves many purposes. From hiring and payment, to planning and executing, to escaping and misleading, to this double taking the bullet.

First question I have to ask, is which man actually hired Tom Keen, Berlin or his double? The plane Berlin dropped into was a prisoner plane. The prisoners on it were either evading arrest or already arrested. From what I saw, the real Berlin was a prisoner being transported, and he escaped custody. If he were in prison, then Tom Keen was hired by his double.

So, Berlin comes into country by dropping from the sky. His double then starts the process of getting his hitman to kill off members of the task force while Berlin seeks medical attention. But his double isn’t the one killing them, so it’s as if he’s standing there - coordinating multiple missions as the real Berlin would. Makes sense.

We first meet him when Tom drops off the kill list. This isn’t the same place in which he was killed, but looks like a safehouse of sorts.

Tom: What the hell happened? Did anyone else survive?

Here’s for a second question. Tom is speaking to this man as if he were on that plane himself. As if he actually survived the crash, knows why it crashed, and would know if any others survived.

Kinsky:The list. Tom: That’s everyone.

Understanding that if Tom aligned with Berlin in his efforts to marry Liz because he was in love with her, she wouldn’t even be on this kill list. Tom NEVER had to inform Berlin of the task force. The task force didn’t even exist until the pilot, and he was stabbed by Zamani. It wasn’t until his release from the hospital that he chose to inform on the task force. Until then, Berlin had no idea this task force even existed. Period. There is no way around THAT.

Tom: So, we’re still moving forward?

Is this kill list considered moving forward? If so, what would stop it from moving forward, the plane crash itself? Because law officials would be on high alert, making them harder to kill?

Elizabeth Keen, first on the kill list - of a team he didn’t even have to report on. Why would Liz even be on the list if Tom’s entire purpose of aligning with him in the first place was to marry her? Why would this even be an option unless she was his target? It’s one thing to marry someone as a cover and fall in love later, and quite another to fall in love with your target prior to the actual marriage. This does not look like a man who fell in love with his target. Not yet, anyway. The task force didn’t exist until the pilot, so if he were in love, he had no reason to inform them of the task force. It would make sense if one were to claim Tom reported on the task force because Red entered her life, but she still wouldn’t be on the kill list, and certainly not listed first. That’s like saying, “Kill her first.”

Then we get to this double’s hitman. What would’ve happened had he gotten to Liz first? What would’ve happened had he gotten to Liz at all? He killed Meera in a dark and noisy nightclub, nearly killed Cooper in his car in broad daylight. If not for kicking out the windshield, probably would’ve died. His hitman gets arrested, leaving Tom to pick up the kill list.

Kinsky: Let’s deal with the other female agent first. Then I want you to take care of the ginger.

Liz first, then Ressler. Why oh why does it take two people to deal with Liz? Set aside whatever Tom’s intent is at this point, why would Berlin’s double speak as if the two of them need to deal with her together? And if Tom hadn’t taken over the kill list, then would his hitman be doing the same as Tom did, or would he be trying to kill her like Cooper and Meera? If the entire purpose of the kill list is to kill, then why would she be on that list? If her dealings were separate, it would seem to me that she wouldn’t even be on the list. So from appearances, Tom’s intent was to kill her, yet this man is speaking as if they need to kill her together. Uhm... why?

It makes sense for Berlin’s double to act as Berlin while speaking with Red. As I mentioned above - should someone get captured, he’d be safe to go about his business.

Tom: Slide it. Slide the gun now.

Asking for Red to slide the gun is idiotic. He’s not gonna let your boss go.

Kinsky: Do it! Kill her! Pull the trigger! Do it! Now! Kill her! Pull the trigger! Do it, now!

Wanting Tom to kill her sits right with the kill list. Four bodies outside with no idea if Red was alone or with assistance, yet Tom chose to take her in. If wanting to save her, would make sense if he took her somewhere else - anywhere else, but not to this man who was now telling him to kill her. Red knew he was a fake at this point because he mentioned the Campolongo Incident.

Kinsky: Do you hear me?! Shoot her! This man - he take everything from me! For what? For nothing. For money - business. He snaps his fingers, and my life was -

To Tom, it sounds like he’s selling himself as the real Berlin. Understanding that Tom wouldn’t know about these four dead men outside until he got there. So if he was meant to kill her, why is he taking her to this man unless they are to deal with her together? And why do they need to deal with her together?

Kinsky: Let’s deal with the other female agent first. Then I want you to take care of the ginger.

It’s as if he’s speaking of two separate things. “Let’s” means let us, which is no different than saying, "Let's go to dinner." Then I WANT YOU to take care of the ginger. So this man acting as Berlin’s double wanted to deal with Liz together. Why? Why is she being treated differently than everyone else on the kill list? Is he afraid Tom won’t be able to kill her because he got personally involved? Is it because they have something else planned for her? Sorry, but it doesn’t take two men to kill one woman.

Then you get to Tom’s whisper. “Your father’s alive.” I don’t know how many times I have to point out this contradiction. Everyone should’ve circled back to Tom’s whisper the moment Constantin Rostov hit the scene because she quite literally has two fathers, and so you have to question who he’s referring to. If his entire purpose was to get Liz away from Red, this is the last thing he’d whisper to her because it would’ve made her want to stay.

This kill list didn’t make sense, but I excused and ignored as everyone else. I guess he was just trying to kill her, but he didn’t. 2x19 is when the writers had me.

Don’t bother reading past this point if you can’t accept the concept.

Red: And so, you were married. And I couldn’t stay away any longer. A confluence of peril had entered your life, and I wanted to be within reach, to have influence.

Confluence: The point where two or more things merge. Like the flowing together of two or more streams. In geography, a confluence (also: conflux) occurs where two or more flowing bodies of water join together to form a single channel.

Peril: Serious and immediate danger.

Pointing out how peril refers to immediate danger, since Red literally spoke of this in Milton Bobbit’s episode. Tom was the immediate threat. Despite having a double, Berlin was only one man, only one “stream” of peril. When 2x19 hit, I had to question who the other peril was. That was my puzzle! Daddygate, but now a puzzle to solve because Berlin became two streams of peril, and so I had to question who else Tom was working for. Red didn’t view Tom as a threat when he married Liz. He had reason to kill him because Tom defied his orders. Major said that was literally the one thing Red insisted on - it was not to get romantic. But Red didn’t view Tom as a threat at that point. He wouldn’t sit back for two years if he did. He would’ve sent somone like Zamani to stab him or stabbed Tom himself. You can quite literally view the mark in Tom’s go-box as a confluence. Those who believe it resembles the Baltic Sea should consider this more.

So what you had was Tom already working for Berlin and already married to Liz - and Red not entering her life until two years later. Piece by piece in dialogue.

Berlin’s hire -

Red: And Tom - he shifted his allegiance to Berlin. In part - to protect himself from me.

Keen2′s wedding -

Red: But also because it allowed for an inextricable intimacy and commitment to you. And so, you were married.

Red turning himself in -

Red: And I couldn’t stay away any longer. A confluence of peril had entered your life, and I wanted to be within reach, to have influence.

Now, take note how Red separates them -

And Tom - he shifted his allegiance to Berlin. And so, you were married. And I couldn’t stay away any longer.

Every “AND” allows for time and space -

And so, you were married. [ two years ] And I couldn’t stay away any longer.

And a change in circumstances. That’s the point. Red wouldn’t kill him then, but he would kill him now. Something changed between their wedding and Red turning himself in.

*Part 2 of 2 coming soon. I have to head out to the store first.

#Anti-Tom Keen #Anti-Keen2

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shrimpkardashian · 5 years

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I am going to post this text which I used to make this 90-minute podcast where I ranked all of David Lynch's films. It’s close to 5,000 words long. Since I took the time to write all this out, I wanted to post it, edited for the page. Enjoy:

David Lynch has created ten feature films in forty years, specifically between 1977 and 2017. I am going to rank all ten films right now.

I’ve broken down the Lynch filmography into four tiers.

Tier #4 consists of two films that, while they’re not necessarily horrible, I’d be OK with never re-watching again.

Tier #3 is Dune, just… Dune… (crickets)

Tier #2 also consists of two movies, two features that are close to being really great, but are ultimately flawed for very different reasons.

And then there’s the Final Tier, Tear #1, ALL-TIME CLASSICS, of which, by my count, there are five. Not bad, considering that equals, oh I don't know... half of his filmography.

You might be wondering what constitutes an ALL-TIME CLASSIC... great question. In my book, it’s a movie that scores a 9.500 or higher on my highly scientific to-the-thousandths scale movie review scoring system. All ten of these feature films have been scored between 5.999 and 9.819. Using the thousandths scale allows for accessible gaps as I slowly fill in the list as I continue to compile my personal ranking of the greatest films ever made (and also... the not so great). I urge you to go to my website www.movies.myameri.ca to see the list of over 200 films that I've reviewed and ranked thus far.

Now, let’s get to the list...

#10

Perhaps, The Elephant Man––David Lynch’s second film, from 1980––doesn’t work for me because you can feel, in a sense, that he’s selling his soul. Sure, it's "good" and was recognized as such in all the ways and by all the metrics that the most mainstream critical pipelines assess and award art that is "good."

It's what I couldn't put my finger on at the time I recorded my initial review, and the truly repulsive thing about it: It's bad in the way these "good" films often are. It feels older than it is: a 1980 film about the 1920s that feels like it was made in the late 50s. It’s stylistic feel is both confusing and confused. The brief intrusions of Lynchian originality are present and welcome, but they’re all too quickly dispersed by stale set pieces, and performances that are either overwrought or stiffly boring. Only Freddie Jones, in the devious role of the elephant man’s original "handler," strikes a cord.

The look and feel of John Hurt’s titular character is effective, because it is grotesque. It is in no way fantastical, even if we’re looking at the height of movie magic, because this person existed. And through this realism, a sickening is induced. With every one of Hurt’s nasally slurps––while that’s surely the point, and it wholly succeeds on that level––the film becomes less re-watchable, a major tenant of my grading scale. Wherein Eraserhead’s baby is pure fantasy––a goofy, disgusting, horrifying little buddy that the viewer wants to spend time with––the Elephant Man is an abomination. Our horror with him, at him, over him, is both the movie proving its thesis, and shutting itself down.

David Lynch is on record as having been pleased with the film, but what amount of that pleasure has been framed by four decades of opportunity in large part because of its success, isn’t clear.

The Elephant Man was nominated for eight Academy Awards. No other David Lynch feature was nominated for more than one. It is his worst film by a wide margin.

It would be easy to dismiss 1999’s The Straight Story as a joke disguised. Here was David Lynch making a relatively, well, "straight" movie about a man named Alvin Straight and it was titled The Straight Story. It was released by Disney. When I rewatched this recently I imagined what the movie might have been like if it had the same plot but, you know, felt Lynchian. What it would be like if the entire film had the tone of my favorite scene, the "I LOVE DEER" scene... but, alas, it isn't that.

The film is just a feel-good story. Sometimes, when you peel back the layers, there's just more goodness hiding underneath, and nothing more. And maybe there's a kind of horror in that as well.

Dune stands alone.

Released in 1984, it's the only film among the ten wherein Lynch didn't have complete final cut. It's, by any classic metric, a bad film. At the end of the documentary Jodorowsky's Dune, which details one of the first attempts at bringing the best selling science fiction book of all-time to the big screen, Alejandro Jodorowsky describes going to see Lynch's version and being filled with a perverse glee that the movie was a failure, that it sucked. And it is definitely a failure.

The film is a god-awful mess. Do not under any circumstances attempt to watch the 3-hour "extended cut" version. Lynch had nothing to do with this and it does not re-insert anything by way of noteworthy lost footage. It merely accentuates the worst elements of the original theatrical cut. The biggest crime by far being... the dreaded voice-over, which plagues both versions.

In 2011, a YouTuber posted a 9-minute super-cut compiling all of these whispered voice-overs, which––if you aren't familiar––are meant to give more clarity to the story by presenting the audience an inside look at "the thoughts" in various characters' heads. But these "thoughts" do exactly the opposite: bogging down the story and actually making it harder to follow (in my opinion).

But even with all of its many, many flaws, the film is not without its charm. The look of it is extremely interesting, if not inconsistent. Some imagery looks dated, while other effects seem ahead of their time. The soundtrack, an amalgamation of Toto's overblown rock aesthetics and a nuanced main theme co-written by Brian Eno, is kind of awesome

But really Dune is just a huge mess of ideas. For example, in one scene the actor Freddie Jones is given a cat with a rat taped to its side, hooked to a contraption, and is told to "milk the cat" if he wants to stay alive. His character is never seen or mentioned again. These are the ideas of Frank Herbert told through the lens of David Lynch and filtered by producers who were so damn concerned whether or not the plot would make sense that they butchered the whole damn thing. What's left are pieces, intriguing pieces strewn about the 2-plus hours.

It would be easy to submit this film as the last place entry, #10 out of 10. But I just can't do that. I would re-watch this under the right circumstances. The strange convergence of wild visuals, bad editing and too-fast, too-big, too-soon nature of the production, puts this in a special category among the Lynch filmography. It almost hits "so bad it's good" notes, in a way. When Denis Villeneuve unleashes his high stakes, huge expectations version of Dune in 2020, David Lynch's third film will likely become nothing more than a footnote.... a grain of sand among the great DUNES of film history, one might say. (Sorry.)

Inland Empire is, technically speaking, the final film of David Lynch's career. Released almost thirteen years ago in 2006, it's certainly the most confounding. Three hours of lo-fi footage, welded together by a director whose contempt for the industry he was a part of had reached a boiling point. And that boiling point is INLAND EMPIRE.

For years, I attempted to watch this film in stops and starts. That, for quite a long time, I never got past the relatively straight, narrative-driven first hour is probably telling. Outside of a classic Grace Zabriskie appearance as Laura Dern's crazy Polish neighbor, not much really happens.

But it isn't so much that nothing is happening that's the issue. It's that nothing interesting is happening. An actress gets a role. Her co-star is a womanizer. Her husband might be jealous. There's some mystery concerning the development of the project. They have an affair. After a burst of imagery at the start, this all unfolds in a fairly normal fashion. The most noteworthy thing about it is how it looks. Lynch used a digital camera to film some ideas with Laura Dern one day and then decided to make a feature film out of it. He's stated that he had to keep using the same camera out of necessity. That he had to make it look this way, is a very Lynchian answer to the question "Why does INLAND EMPIRE look like garbage?" Because it does truly look like trash. You can get better video fidelity from any cheap Android phone nowadays. It has not aged well.

Some might point to this and say that's exactly why it's genius, why it's underrated... but I ain't buying that line of thinking, either. It's a misstep, in my opinion. The film is a bloated experimentation of a script written on the fly. It has only one true saving grace... Laura Dern.

Even if they hadn't reunited for the successful collaboration that was Twin Peaks: The Return, I think I'd be OK with this being the pair's final work together. The film only works because of Dern. The entire thing is a testament to her ability and it transcends the hardware that was used to capture it. When I finally got around to completing this watch, I was struck by how weird it got. Which is saying something about a David Lynch film! Without Dern this might play like someone's forgotten student project of the mid 2000s. With her, it's a strange bookend to an amazing career.

One that I have no other choice but to start, and stop, and start again. Someday.

Wild at Heart was produced at the height of David Lynch's success in 1990. Riding the high of Blue Velvet, arguably his most beloved work in a critical sense, even to this day, and filmed just as the world was experiencing TV’s Twin Peaks. Lynch's fifth movie arrived just as the concept of "Lynchian" was soaking into the cultural landscape. It's a brash, outrageous film that feels like the work of an individual who could no wrong. This cockiness both makes it fun, and provides its flaws.

While there seems to be "a point," however cloudy and/or veiled and/or vague, behind most things in every David Lynch film, Wild at Heart seemingly indulges in bombast for the sake of bombast. It's no surprise this Louis CK's favorite film and the film that nearly gave Roger Ebert a heart attack. (See this video)

I'd like to split the difference between those two sentiments, if I may. I don't agree that Lynch is always trying to "get off the hook" as Roger Ebert put it. But that may be the case with Wild at Heart. That it is the only Lynch film to take the top prize at Cannes, perhaps speaks more to the idea of Lynch and his influence in the culture at the time, then it does to the film itself. CK was right to read this film as a comedy, it's the only way it works. And Ebert was wrong to crucify it for being such. But It stands outside the top tier of Lynch's career for a different reason. With cockiness comes laziness. Lynch notoriously had his hands full during the development of this project, as he abandoned the TV world of Twin Peaks to make it. Wild at Heart feels half-baked as a result.

Sure, it has its moments. Willem DaFoe gets to hang his hat on the mantle of notable, completely over-the-top supporting characters in the Dennis Hopper / Frank Booth tradition. And Nicolas Cage and Diane Ladd are every bit as crazed in their performances as well. And yet, therein lies another problem: the movie has only one speed, out of control. The Sailor-Lula love story is meant to provide the downbeat, something earnest in a sea of chaos. But it falls short. You can't stop to smell the roses if the car never stops.

That half of David Lynch's filmography constitute all time classics is no minor accomplishment. I imagine there are only a handful of directors with a better batting average. And so, the order of these next five films is fairly insignificant. Certainly there are biases at play which have placed them into the positions you find them here. For example, I certainly haven't watched Eraserhead enough and I've probably seen Mulholland Drive too many times by comparison. It's also about timing. Maybe This Moment™ in My Life™ is more fitting for Lost Highway then it is Blue Velvet, for myriad reasons, and so on and so on.

The thing to know is this... These five projects have all stood the test of time, and any one of them is deserved of the top spot. Now, back to the countdown...

Eraserhead was exactly like I thought it would be.

I neglected to watch this film for a very long time. I kept telling myself "Now is the right time to watch Eraserhead, Jeff." What I didn't realize until I finally watched it is that the answer to that question is both never and always.

Eraserhead is a feat of nature. A film that took years to complete feels and flows like it was molded together over a single month. It almost feels silly to expound on the film at this point. It's been dissected to death. Even critics who fail to understand it can appreciate it on the most basic of levels. This. Is. Art. PERIOD. There's no denying that.

Wherein the surrealists who decided to make films couldn't get past the concept of the singular idea, confining their work to shorts OR a series of loosely connected "living paintings," Lynch was able to extrapolate the aesthetic to feature length and also tell a story.

It's soundscape alone is a work of art, and perhaps the most important facet of the film from a historic point of view. This world sounds exactly as it looks: manufactured, fractured, jarring and glum. What brief respite the Lady in the Radiator provides with her haunting, off-kilter serenade is all we get by way of counterpoint to the unnerving soundtrack of Lynch's debut feature. It took Lynch, working in tandem with master sound engineer Alan Splet, nearly a year to complete. From the 1991 book, Midnight Movies:

"The soundtrack is densely layered, including as many as fifteen different sounds played simultaneously using multiple reels. Sounds were created in a variety of ways—for a scene in which a bed slowly dissolves into a pool of liquid, Lynch and Splet inserted a microphone inside a plastic bottle, floated it in a bathtub, and recorded the sound of air blown through the bottle. After being recorded, sounds were further augmented by alterations to their pitch, reverb and frequency."

Lynch's first film is also his shortest, just shy of ninety minutes, and it's hard to find any flaws. Is the detour with the severed head at the pencil factory meaningless? How about the next-door neighbor character... unnecessary? Inside the Top 5, I won't be nitpicking just to do so. In the Top 5, everything is fine.

While I don't necessarily think Blue Velvet is the best film of David Lynch's career, it's hard to argue that it isn't the most important. It is the world from which all subsequent Lynch things are built. Following the creative and commercial disaster of Dune, Lynch's fourth feature is a dark psychological horror that both expands upon and completely blows apart the aesthetic of Film Noir. And there really isn't a single David Lynch film project after Blue Velvet which doesn't also explore this form to a degree.

The movie marks the debut of a pair who would turn out to be lifelong collaborators in the David Lynch cinematic universe: Laura Dern, acting here in one of her first "adult" roles at age 19, and the composer Angelo Badalamenti. Badalamenti would go onto write the scores for every subsequent entry in the filmography except Inland Empire, and his main theme to Blue Velvet remains one of the most memorable.

Blue Velvet is also notable as being a vehicle for Dennis Hopper's re-entry into mainstream cinema. Relaunching his career, Hopper's portrayal of the deranged Frank Booth remains as skin crawling as ever.

I think the fact that I have watched Blue Velvet and Mulholland Drive more than any other of Lynch's films had a lot to do with where I've placed them on this list (that they aren’t higher). But I swear I'm not being contrarian for contrarian's sake. As I said a minute ago, all five of these films are worthy. When it comes to the movies of David Lynch, well, I guess you could say, "....HE PUT HIS DISEASE IN ME." (Sorry.)

The strange origin story of Mulholland Drive somehow eluded me for years. I only found out that this movie, Lynch's ninth, released one month after 9/11, was literally developed and shot with the intention to be a TV pilot for ABC. I found this out from the book, Room to Dream, by the way. The half autobiography/half biography of Lynch's life, which came out last year that I highly recommend. Only when it was clear that it wouldn't work for television did Lynch decide to re-cut and film additional footage to release as a feature. Though this was common knowledge, I managed to watch this many times over the years with no idea. When I rewatched it again recently with this information, I couldn't help but try to pick out what was filmed when in the timeline, and if I could see any inconsistencies... a true hellish way to watch a picture. I don't recommend it. But I digress..

From Blue Velvet on, each one of David Lynch's films (outside of The Straight Story) has had a longer running time. At close to 2½ hours, 2001's Mulholland Drive was his longest to date by a decent margin. It’s something of a misnomer that Lynch's films meander, as people mistake deliberateness for slowness or frivolity. Mulholland is filled with detours, inhabiting the film like micro movies in their own right. This also continues the loose Los Angeles trilogy (after Lost Highway and concluding with Inland Empire), which, at their heart, are films about coming to grips with who you really are. This might be the most direct lampooning of the film industry itself, but all three deal with being someone who you're really not.

Lynch has repeatedly stated his admiration for the 1950 film noir classic Sunset Blvd., another film about the film industry. In some respects, the naïveté of Naomi Watts' Betty is the counterpoint to Norma Desmond. In Mulholland Drive, her character says, "I'd rather be known as a great actress than a movie star. But, you know, sometimes people end up being both." Whereas, Norma Desmond portrayed by Gloria Swanson, has already reckoned with the true fate: "No one ever leaves a star. That's what makes one a star."

The arc of the characters—plural—Betty and Diane, and the power of Naomi Watts' performance as them both, is behind the wheel on Mulholland Drive. I found it odd that she took second billing in the opening credit crawl to co-star Justin Theroux. Was this because she was unknown to the masses at the time, or perhaps another piece of the puzzle to this movie's greater themes?

Mulholland Drive touches all the bases. At times bleak and bizarre. Sometimes bright and hopeful. In many ways, it's modeled after the next film on our countdown, as it can almost be read as two separate entities: converging, crossing and meeting together again? Well...

No film surprised me more during my recent rewatch binge then 1997’s Lost Highway. David Lynch’s seventh film might be his most divisive, in so much as it failed to ignite the critical response that really any of his other films did upon their release.

While it’s industrial rock heavy soundtrack perhaps dates the film to its actual era of production more than any other Lynch picture, it also works as an anchor. Outside of Inland Empire, this is easily his most abstract and seemingly rambling work. It is grounded through style and feel. And it might just be his best singular statement.

Bull Pullman is a revelation as the jazz saxophonist Fred Madison. His chaotic emoting on the stage through his blaring instrument is but another counterpoint, this time to his subdued, confused off-stage demeanor. Who knew the goofy President from Independence Day could pull this off?

My critique of Patricia Arquette in many of her other roles is that she comes across as lifeless. Well, with her performance here as a dead-on-the-inside beauty, that mode has never played better. She's tremendous, acting the conduit in this strange play, this circuitous journey that is often described as a theatrical möbius strip, where our leading man has quite literally been replaced.

And that brings up another interesting point: There doesn't seem to be a traditional main character in this film. Arquette in her dual role as Renee and Alice is functionally it, but she gives way to Pullman and Balthazar Getty's Pullman––a car mechanic named Pete––for long stretches, and its Lynch's most diplomatic film in terms of dolling out the heavy lifting in this regard.

And last but not least we have to talk about... Robert Blake.

In a sea of outstanding, intensely weird and occasionally unforgettable supporting characters throughout the Lynch filmography, Blake’s Mystery Man might just take the cake. That Robert Blake, more than likely an actual sociopath, instructed Lynch on his character’s look––which, let me remind you was such: Blake decided to cut his hair cut extremely short, parted in the middle, white Kabuki make-up on his face, and an all black outfit––might be the best example of the auteur trusting his instincts, and having it pay off completely. Only on screen for a handful of scenes, Blake, who would be arrested and acquitted for the murder of his wife just a couple years later, delivers a truly unsettling performance. In his final film role ever, he encompasses true evil more than Twin Peaks’ BOB or Frank Booth in Blue Velvet. The Mystery Man is the lurking, vile corruption of what’s good that Lynch has always been looking for.

But Lost Highway is not a “what’s beneath the surface” film like Blue Velvet or Twin Peaks or even Mulholland Drive are. The “point” of Lost Highway might just be that evil exists in plain view... and there’s nothing we can do about it. Gary Busey sometimes has to watch his only child disappear in a lightning bolt of spoiled meat and that’s that. When they reappear, broken and struggling, and falling down the same path until it happens again, well... that’s just life.

One of my favorite parts of the entire movie is a scene early on when a detective asks Fred Madison if he owns a videocamera. His wife, Renee Madison, portrayed by Patricia Arquette, responds, "no, Fred hates them." Fred responds, "I like to remember things my own way." The detective asks, "what do you mean by that?" Bill Pullman, as Fred Madison, replies, "how I remember them. Not exactly the way that they happened."

(DISCLAIMER: I’m sorry if you think it’s cheating that I am including the expanded Twin Peaks Universe as one single entry on this list. I’m sorry if you think the only thing that should count is Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me because that is the only Twin Peaks thing that is actually a “feature film.” But also: SORRY NOT SORRY.

This is my list and I’m putting Twin Peaks at #1, specifically: all of Season 1 of the original TV show, plus the beginning of Season 2 (until the episode where we find out who killed Laura Palmer) and the Season 2 finale. Then of course Fire Walk with Me, and the 18 hour MOVIE that is Twin Peaks: The Return, or Twin Peaks Season 3, if you will (I prefer the former as it gives the masterpiece the gravitas it deserves).

If you put a gun to my head and I ABSOLUTELY had to only include Fire Walk with Me, I would probably drop it to #4 or #5 and slide everything else on the list up a spot. End of DISCLAIMER.)

I was given the Twin Peaks Gold Box as a Christmas gift in 2007. The 10-DVD set had just come out and this was still an era when people treasured physical things like that. It was really important and meaningful to me, and I still own it despite no longer having a DVD player. Watching it for the first time was a treasure and a fond memory. The feeling I got when I heard that Badalamenti theme music start the show and everything in between...

...yes, even James in Season 2. I loved it all: the good, the bad and the ugly, the whole kitten caboodle. The original TV series is, obviously, far from flawless. Lynch stepped away for long stretches before going fully AWOL after it was revealed that Laura Palmer's father, portrayed by the great Ray Wise, is in fact her killer. After that, the show took a turn (to put it lightly).

But Lynch never gave up on the world. He returned to helm the stunning Season 2/de facto series finale. So much of the mythology that Fire Walk with Me and certainly The Return is built upon is ignited in that finale, fittingly titled "Beyond Life and Death." But really, the original series is most notable for merely existing at all. A precursor to the "golden age of television" that was right around the corner, there still hasn't been a network series remotely this daring. There's often much made, too much if you ask me, about the "cult of David Lynch." Critics of this “cult” say its followers are blind: The man can do no wrong. It's weird for weirdness' sake. And so on, they drone. Now, I'm a fairly big David Lynch fan (no duh). But I've always tried to remain grounded in regards to this. He's not perfect. But he has made near-perfect art. And I'm a fan of ART first. A practicer of admiration? Maybe some distant second, third, fourth or beyond. I see his infiltration of the masses with Twin Peaks as one of his finest achievements in the arts. How many powerful people had to be convinced that the mainstream was ready for something like this. It's baffling. That, of course, they weren't ready is kind of besides the point. Someone has to poke the bear.

If Lynch had closed the books on Twin Peaks with Fire Walk with Me, his sixth film released in 1992, that would have been fine. It's a polarizing feature and was a fairly significant box office bomb, even for Lynch. Fire Walk with Me nonetheless retains an otherworldliness among the filmography. Given the subject matter––you know, just your average super-violent father-daughter incest rape thing––it's hard to argue this isn't his darkest tale by a wide degree. It's perhaps not ripe for repeated viewings. In fact, I did not rewatch it for this review, the only film of the ten. Why? Well, I had given it a replay back in 2017, just before the debut of Showtime's Twin Peaks: The Return. And, to be honest, I just wasn't ready to return to this madness quite so soon.

Only David Lynch could mold one of the loftier aspects/thematic devices/main characters (?) of the long-awaited follow-up to perhaps his most beloved work on one of the most random, seemingly meaningless, toss-away lines spoken in a bad Cajun accent in a cameo role by David Bowie. "We're not going to talk about Judy at all..." Until, that is, the time is right... Say... 25 years later?

I just recently began to rewatch The Return and I'd like to say thank you for this, David Lynch. This needs to be put into the discussion with his greatest work, if it's not already there. I can recall after various episodes of its original run (May to September 2017), feeling a sense of awe and wonderment and confusion and joy. I say to anyone that's curious that this is an 18-hour movie. David Lynch made an 18-hour movie when it wasn't certain if he'd make any more movies again.

It would be dumb, if not downright foolish, to try and hash out the plot-lines or gush over Kyle MacLachlan's performance in not two, but three distinct roles. Here, the duality of man has fractured yet again in these modern times. And when I got to that final two-hour finale, I found myself on a family vacation. So I carved out a block of time to watch it at the house we were renting on my laptop, alone, in the dark, as the rest of my family enjoyed a sunny day at the beach. I filed Kyle and Laura Dern's Diane into one more sketchy motel and then onto El Paso, Texas, of course, just as everyone had guessed, and then back to Twin Peaks, Washington, where the series ends on a question... Special Agent Dale Cooper turns to Laura Palmer outside her childhood home and asks, "what year is this?" She screams into the abyss and the lights in the home spark off and the screen explodes into darkness. For a series that was, ultimately, about the passing of time as much as it was about the origins of evil in the universe or anything else, it was a fitting end.

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