#(cause jan deserves a promotion even if SHE'S BEING MEAN RIGHT NOW)

[godswrathonearth]

( @thickcrskiin i see you reblogging from @whatifiwereatraitor and not only is it painful BUT IT’S PAINFUL ALRIGHT )

#;righteous promotion #(cause jan deserves a promotion even if SHE'S BEING MEAN RIGHT NOW) #ooc

[angermanagementcoache]

I control of my Anger switch

Anger Management

12 Ways To Calm Down When You're Pissed Off And Don't Want To Be

For when you know you're way too angry, but can't seem to turn it off.

Have you seen the animated movie Inside Out? There’s a character in it, Anger, whose head literally explodes every time he gets too worked up. It’s a great visual and it definitely doesn’t seem overly dramatic — we’ve all been there. Spoken over in a meeting, denied a raise or passed over for a promotion after going way above and beyond at work, let down by your partner when you needed them — you can probably feel your anger bubbling up right now just thinking about these things.

But is feeling angry — and expressing your rage — really the best way to move your life forward? Sometimes, yes. In the face of injustice, drawing on your anger may help you to fight for what’s right. According to psychologist Dr. Lauren Appio, anger “gives us energy to defend ourselves and others in the face of unfair treatment.” It’s a valid emotion, and judging ourselves for feeling angry isn’t the answer.

But in your interpersonal relationships, there’s usually a better way to communicate. As the great author Toni Morrison once said, anger is “a paralyzing emotion. You can't get anything done. People sort of think it's an interesting, passionate, and igniting feeling — I don't think it's any of that. It's helpless. It's absence of control."

So the next time you start to feel angry and want to soothe yourself, try one of the following expert-approved techniques.

1. Ask yourself if your anger is reasonable.

This may be hard to do in the moment — head on fire, and all of that — but if you can take a few deep breaths and check in with yourself about why you’re angry, you may be able to calm yourself down without invalidating your feelings.

“Before you try to make your anger disappear, see if you can identify what is reasonable about your anger,” Appio tells BuzzFeed. “Would it be okay for other people to be angry in your situation? If it’s okay for them, it’s okay for you. Validating yourself does not mean you are going to lash out angrily. It simply allows you to check in with yourself about what you need and consider how you can get your needs met.”

2. Identify other emotions that your anger may be masking.

Your anger may be standing in for an emotion that makes you feel less powerful, says Appio, such as fear, hurt, or embarrassment. Try to breathe through your rage without acting on it, and talk yourself through the feelings that are buried beneath your anger. “Once you address those other feelings (either through self-validation, changing your situation, or communicating your needs), your anger should subside, too,” she notes.

3. Leave the room.

In her book Anger Management Essentials: A Workbook for People to Manage their Aggression, therapist Anita Avedian recommends “changing your scene” if you’re getting worked up. Leave the room, take a walk outside, just get yourself out of the situation that’s fueling your rage — and then try applying tips 1 and 2 from this list. Avedian says that taking a walk outside is particularly helpful when you’re angry because it releases endorphins, the “happy hormone,” which can “reduce the perception of pain.” If you’re fighting with another person, don’t just leave the room; be sure to tell them you need some time alone and that you’ll be back in 20 minutes (or whatever) to talk.

4. Talk to your inner child.

If your knee-jerk reaction is to scroll past this tip because it’s too “woo-woo,” hear me out: Psychologist Dr. Margaret Paul tells BuzzFeed that feeling angry at someone else can be an indication that you’re not taking care of yourself in a situation, so talking to your inner child can help you to not only calm down, but also to identify what’s wrong and be nicer to yourself.

“Imagine the angry part of you is a child within you having a temper tantrum, but who is really needing compassion. Imagine holding that angry child with kindness, caring, and compassion,” she says. “Ask that angry inner child what he or she is angry at you about. Are you not speaking up for yourself? Are you being compliant instead of honest? Are you ignoring your deeper feelings of heartbreak, loneliness, or helplessness over a person or situation?”

5. Learn to identify signs you might be angry without realizing it so it doesn’t catch you off guard.

Have you ever exploded on someone and then been shocked by your own behavior? You probably haven’t yet learned how anger physically manifests in your body.

“Many people don’t realize they’re angry until after they’ve reacted with anger,” psychologist Dr. Sari Chait tells BuzzFeed. She recommends “noting if your shoulders get tense or you clench your jaw or make a fist. Taking note of your thoughts and feelings is also important. Are you unable to think clearly? Do you have tunnel vision?”

Write these things down, then clock them when they start to show up in your body; to help the fires die down in the moment, take deep breaths or leave the room.

6. Do a body scan and release the tension in your body.

Most of us experience some physical manifestation of anger, so try this technique from Avedian: “Squeeze or tense up various areas in your body three times per section, for five seconds in length, and relax. Common body areas include shoulders, arms, hands, legs, and feet.” That should help to ease the physical tension and, in turn, calm your anger.

7. Watch something funny.

Have you ever been in the midst of a fight with a partner when suddenly they crack a joke and it instantly makes you feel lighter? Depending on the seriousness of the argument, this can be a recipe for disaster. But sometimes it really helps. Avedian recommends watching something funny, like a favorite stand-up comedy clip on YouTube, if you’re starting to get angry — especially over something relatively minor, like a sink full of unwashed dishes. “Learn to laugh at yourself,” she recommends.

8. Check in with yourself.

That “hangry” feeling is real — science says so. That’s why checking yourself in a heated moment is so important, says therapist Patrice Douglas. “Are you having a bad day? Are you hungry? Are you tired or just not feeling yourself? When feeling like this, we are often on edge and can take what someone says or does the wrong way, causing us to react in anger,” she adds.

9. Ask yourself if the person you’re angry at is really trying to hurt you.

We’ve all taken a friend or partner’s comment the wrong way, especially if we’re hungry, tired, or stressed. So taking a minute to think about the true intention of a seemingly hurtful remark can cool a situation down pretty quickly. Says Douglas, “When we get angry, our mind is perceiving someone as a threat and we must protect [ourselves], but sometimes, we take things wrong or hear it incorrectly.”

10. Write a letter.

Avedian says that writing a letter to the person who’s making you angry — a letter you’ll never send — is an effective coping method because it “allows for the child in us to act out, but constructively.” Just don’t write an email, she says — you don’t want to accidentally send it. Instead, write by hand or in a document on your computer.

11. Turn on some tunes.

According to therapist Sherry Shockey-Pope, co-founder of Central Counseling Services, listening to a favorite song — especially one that’s attached to happy memories — is a great way to dissipate anger. “Music is transforming, in that it is tied to many emotions,” she says. One minute you’re raging, and the next you’re singing and bopping along to Beyoncé’s “Love on Top.”

She also notes that songs with a speed of 60 to 80 beats per minute are soothing to the body, so she recommends making a playlist of those tunes and hitting play at the end of a hard day.

12. And remember to take care of yourself.

If you’re perpetually exhausted, overworked, not eating well, not exercising, and not spending time with people who love and support you, the likelihood of going from zero to 100 real quick is high. That’s why Shockey-Pope says good self-care habits are key to a more even-keeled you. So make time for yourself even when it feels impossible. Ask for help. Get outside. Go to bed earlier. Look for a new job if your current work situation is making you rage-y. You deserve to feel a whole lot less angry.

More Like This:

10 Tips For Any Judgmental Person Who's Said "Ugh, Why Am I Like This?"Stephanie Hallett · Nov. 24, 2018

11 Things You Might Not Realize Can Be Signs Of AnxietyStephanie Hallett · Nov. 2, 2018

40 Self-Care Ideas For People Who Aren't Really Into Sheet Masks And BathsRachel Wilkerson Miller · Jan. 9, 2019

#control #peace #inner peace #self love #relatationship

[bountyofbeads]

Trump Announces Deal to Reopen Government, in Surprise Retreat From Wall https://nyti.ms/2S2Wx6Y

TRUMP CAVED BIG LEAGUE

Trump Announces Deal to Reopen Government, in Surprise Retreat From Wall

By Sheryl Gay Stolberg, Nicholas Fandos and Peter Baker | Jan. 25, 2019 | New York Times | Posted January 25, 2019 |

WASHINGTON — President Trump agreed Friday to reopen the federal government for three weeks while negotiations proceeded over how to secure the nation’s southwestern border, backing down after a monthlong standoff failed to force Democrats to give him billions of dollars for his long-promised wall.

The decision paved the way for Congress to pass spending bills as soon as Friday that Mr. Trump will sign to restore normal operations at a series of federal agencies until Feb. 15 and begin paying again the 800,000 federal workers who have been furloughed or forced to work for free for 35 days.

The plan includes none of the money for the wall that he had demanded and was essentially the same approach that Mr. Trump rejected at the end of December, meaning he won nothing concrete during the impasse. But if Republicans and Democrats cannot reach agreement on wall money by the February deadline, he indicated that he was ready to renew the confrontation or declare a national emergency and bypass Congress altogether.

“We really have no choice but to build a powerful wall or steel barrier,” Mr. Trump said in the Rose Garden. “If we don’t get a fair deal from Congress, the government will either shut down on February 15, or I will use the powers afforded to me under the laws and Constitution of the United States to address this emergency.”

[President Trump’s emergency powers, explained.]

The cease-fire could pave the way for Mr. Trump to deliver his State of the Union address to Congress after all. He had originally been scheduled to make the speech next Tuesday, but Speaker Nancy Pelosi rescinded her invitation to come to the House chamber until the government was reopened. It was not immediately clear when the speech might proceed.

As he announced the move, Mr. Trump paid tribute to the federal workers who have endured five weeks without pay, expressing sympathy for them in a way he had not until now. “You are fantastic people,” he said. “You are incredible patriots. Many of you have suffered far greater than anyone but your families would know or understand.”

He promised to ensure that workers will be compensated for the paychecks they have missed since the shutdown began in late December. “I will make sure that all employees receive their back pay very quickly or as soon as possible,” he said. “It will happen fast.”

The surprise announcement was a remarkable retreat for a president who made the wall his nonnegotiable condition for reopening the government. Mr. Trump relented as the effects of the shutdown rippled across the Northeast, with impact far beyond paychecks, such as air traffic slowing Friday because of a shortage of air traffic controllers, who called in sick. The F.B.I. director said he was as angry as he had ever been over his agents not being paid, and 14,000 workers at the Internal Revenue Service did not show up for work despite orders to come in.

Mr. Trump offered no explanation for his surrender, nor did he even acknowledge that it was one. Cabinet officials and White House aides lined the sides of the Rose Garden and applauded him. The president began his remarks as if he had actually emerged victorious, saying that he was “very proud to announce” what he called “a deal to end the shutdown and reopen the federal government.”

With polls showing the president enduring most of the blame by the public, Republicans led by Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, the majority leader, pressured Mr. Trump to agree to the temporary cease-fire. Over the next three weeks, a House-Senate conference committee representing both parties will negotiate a border security plan, but if it fails to reach a consensus, government agencies could close again.

The president’s concession came a day after two competing measures to reopen the government failed on the Senate floor. A Democratic bill, which would have reopened the government with no strings attached, received more votes than the bill backed by Mr. Trump, which included temporary protections for some undocumented immigrants in exchange for $5.7 billion for his proposed border wall.

Mr. McConnell spent part of Friday morning talking to Mr. Trump about what kind of border security the president would accept — other than a wall — in exchange for a promise from Democrats that they would at least debate the wall in the Senate during the regular course of business, according to a senior Republican aide familiar with the talks.

This person said that Mr. McConnell’s goal was to pressure moderate Democrats, who had expressed openness to a physical barrier, to agree to one. If they did not, the person said, Republicans or Mr. Trump could shut down the government again — with much of the pressure caused by 800,000 federal workers who had gone without pay somewhat alleviated.

On the Senate floor on Thursday, a bipartisan group of senators signed on to an amendment that would open the government for three weeks without conditions and with a commitment in good faith to negotiate a broader border security solution in that time.

“What we have put on the table is our reputation as legislators, that given three weeks, we’ll come up with a successful conclusion on the border security issue,” said Senator Benjamin L. Cardin, Democrat of Maryland.

Republican leaders tried to rally their members during a closed policy luncheon before Thursday’s votes. But even as Republicans prepared to support Mr. Trump’s plan, there were signs of mounting frustration over the tactics being used around the continued impasse and a lack of momentum toward a solution.

At one point during the lunch, Senator Ron Johnson, Republican of Wisconsin, vented at Mr. McConnell for putting Republicans in the position of having to vote on two competing approaches to reopen the government — one Republican and one Democratic — without consulting Senate Republicans first.

“You put us in this position,” Mr. Johnson said, according to one of his aides. Another senior Republican aide familiar with the exchange said Mr. Johnson told Mr. McConnell that it was “your fault.” Mr. McConnell, who had largely absented himself from negotiations to reopen the government until late last week, responded, “Are you suggesting I’m enjoying this?”

Details of the exchange were first reported by The Washington Post.

At another point, Mr. McConnell also signaled to Vice President Mike Pence, who was present for the lunch, that Senate Republicans were generally not supportive of shutdowns.

“There is no education in the second kick of a mule,” he said, repeating a line he has used frequently, according to another person familiar with the exchange.

And other Republican senators made their own reservations about the continued shutdown clear. Senator Dan Sullivan of Alaska raised the crippling effect on the Coast Guard, for instance, this person said.

Just a few of the better responses to Trump's cave to the Democrats :

"In other words, the pain he inflicted was totally unnecessary. He got nothing."

"Trump is only ending the shutdown to deflect attention from the Roger Stone indictment. That sounds so jaded but it's true. He always has to control the headlines. It's about time this shutdown ended. Now Congress should draft legislation to make shutting the government down obsolete."

"All the suffering by federal workers and government contractors because of the Trump-McConnell shutdown was entirely unnecessary. Our current president should apologize to the American people. Speaker Nancy Pelosi did her job, and she did it well."

"He has met the wall and it's name is Nancy Pelosi."

"This person said that Mr. McConnell’s goal was to pressure moderate Democrats, who had expressed openness to a physical barrier, to agree to one." I have two words for those moderate Democrats. Merrick Garland."

"My Dad was right: you have to stand up to a bully or he will never leave you alone."

"From Mitch McConnell saying his goal was to make Obama a one-term president, to blocking Merrick Garland from seeing a vote for SCOTUS, to not even bringing a vote to the floor that Trump won't sign into law, the Kentucky senator will go down in history as THE obstructionist of our government's normal functioning"

"Hooray for Nancy Pelosi and all of the women in congress!"

"So... to be clear here. We were shutdown for 30 days to get the deal Trump turned down 30 days ago?"

"I believe we are all tired of the self-promotion, threats, lies, and mindless rants. The wall is nothing but a diversion against his mounting legal and moral problems both for his Presidency and his business. He has no feeling or compassion for anyone else. It is all about him. He forgets that he is a public servant and not the emperor. Before I retired, I had the privilege of working with the staff members of my non-profit's Federal funding agencies. They are extraordinary and dedicated professionals, who care intensely about their work. We are grateful to all Federal employees and their families for all that they do for us. Thank you for your service. I doubt that Donald Trump will ever understand.."

"Trumped by Pelosi. Her stamp of approval for the direction of reopening the government is heartwarming. Trump is even more powerless than before because he promulgated the midterm Democratic wipeout with his actions."

"Well let's just assume there will be another shutdown because as long Senate Majority Leader did not learn from the first kick of the mule. The first kick was that in two years of a Senate and House majority they could not get a wall built. The wall is wrong, we all know it. The GOP is paying a well deserved price of complicity. Instead of being a check on the President they are a checkbook for the President."

"If, after three weeks, the Republicans shut down the government again, they will signal to any competent government worker that it's time to bail and find work elsewhere. Many have already come to that conclusion. Instead of "winning" the current administration is rapidly pushing out dedicated employees. That's failure and it's. disgusting!"

"Republicans are incapable of governing. A three-week agreement ? So we can Make Trump A Horse's Bottom Again ? Pathetic. Remember in 2020."

"Progress. Too bad contractors and cooperators that had 1/12 of their annual revenue destroyed by this wont see a dime of back pay and some will downsize as a result. Congress's first order should be passing a recurring funding measure to ensure federal workers, contractors, cooperators, wont be pawns again for either side.

#donald trump #u.s. news #politics #trump administration #republican politics #immigration #president donald trump #trump #republican party #us: news #politics and government #senate #white house #borderwall #trumpshutdown

[meganlovesyuh-blog]

Pro life ?

Megan Rosado Eng 112 Professor Marits April 24, 2016 Pro-Life? abortion (n). The deliberate termination of a human pregnancy, most often performed during the first 28 weeks of pregnancy. In 1973 the U.S Supreme Court made its decision regarding Roe v. Wade. This decision recognized the constitutional right to privacy which extended to a woman's right to make medical decisions for themselves including the right to abort a pregnancy. For more than 40 years the right to safe and legal abortions have been the law. Even after 40 years there are still attacks that threaten the safety of women's medical rights. Anti-abortion politicians are trying to dissect Roe v. Wade and to destroy and ban abortion worldwide. Trying to restrict access to abortion at 20 weeks of pregnancy. Now there is an Existing Federal Abortion ban, a ban that became law in 2003 and is continued to be upheld by the Supreme Court in 2007. This ban criminalizes specific abortion procedures in the second trimester of pregnancy. Doctors say these procedures are often the safest and best to protect a woman’s health. According to Planned Parenthood, in 1965 illegal abortions made up one sixth of all pregnancy and childbirth related deaths. Due to the fact that abortion was illegal then women had to look for people to do the procedure. These procedures often times rendered a woman unable to ever have anymore children. In 1965 and 1967 a survey found that eight in ten women attempted a dangerous self-induced procedure. Meaning women could not afford and would be allowed to for go this procedure. Now abortion procedures are the safest procedures performed today. Women who decide to go through with the abortion can and will receive support throughout the process from professionals. A safety record of 99% of women have had this procedure done. In 2011, nearly half of all pregnancies among U.S women were unintended, and about four in ten of these were terminated by abortion, according to the Guttmacher Institute. Many people believe that when a women wants to abort a pregnancy they’d like to use it as a way to get back at the child's father, or they see it as a way to ‘get rid’ of a mistake. However people never seem to think about the situation that might have put a woman in that position. Rape is a huge reason why women would abort a pregnancy. Why should a woman have to raise a child that became a product of what would be the worst time in her life? Why should a woman have to be ridiculed by men and other women for something they could possibly never understand? Another huge reason someone would abort their pregnancy would be because she wasn’t ready. A child is an extreme amount of work and not just for the first eighteen years of life, you’re a parent for the rest of yours and theirs life. It’s expensive raising a child from buying clothes, formula, and diapers to name a few where would the money come from if the parent cannot work because of raising her child. If she can’t afford formula and diapers she can’t afford a babysitter or a nanny. There are many people in this world who believe that life begins at conception not at birth. That a child’s life begins the moment the sperm touches the egg there is scientific evidence to prove this. According to Douglas Considine, "Embryo: The developing individual between the union of the germ cells and the completion of the organs which characterize its body when it becomes a separate organism.... At the moment the sperm cell of the human male meets the ovum of the female and the union results in a fertilized ovum (zygote), a new life has begun.... The term embryo covers the several stages of early development from conception to the ninth or tenth week of life." Meaning that a new life begins the moment a man’s sperm cell meets the ovum of the woman. Everyday people say the words ‘every life is valuable’, ‘this next generation will change the world, make it a better place’. Tell me how is that going to be possible if you kill the babies who will be considered the next generation. Every life is a chance to make up for all the mistakes that were made, that ultimately led to all the issues that we are faced with today. Who is to say that one out of twenty of the terminated pregnancies wouldn’t be the next president. Abortion takes away the possibility of a better future, how is that fair? Who are you to take a life? There are plenty of women who are unable to conceive a child, plenty of women who would do anything to just be able to carry and raise their own children. Abortion not only kills the child, but also makes it just a bit more harder for a couple to adopt. There are many other options to turn to instead of getting a abortion and killing the child. A woman can take birth control if she chooses to have sexual intercourse without condom protection, and she can put her child up for adoption she does not have to go the course of killing the baby. Age is another thing to consider, women are starting to try to have kids at the age of their mid 30s and with age can cause fertility problems. According to Women's Health, Aging decreases a woman's chances of having a baby in the following ways: • Her ovaries become less able to release eggs • She has a smaller number of eggs left • Her eggs are not as healthy • She is more likely to have health conditions that can cause fertility problems • She is more likely to have a miscarriage More likely to have a miscarriage, ovaries become less able to release eggs. Abortion does not just take away the woman’s turn to being a parent but the woman also takes away the chance for another woman to be a parent by not choosing to put the child up for adoption. In May of 2012 a campaign fighting for Women’s Rights to Safe Abortion was launched. According to their website, safeabortionwomensright.org, “It aspires to become such a movement, and to become larger than the sum of its parts by serving as an umbrella and uniting us across borders and constituencies. The primary focus of the Campaign is to build capacity to advocate for the right to safe abortion at national level, because change can only happen on the ground in countries. We also agreed to motivate and support regional networking, organised by affiliated regional networks and national advocates, to plan and coordinate joint activities, to collaborate in existing initiatives and to create new initiatives. Lastly, we agreed to act together to promote the legitimacy of women’s right to safe abortion in international forums addressing women’s sexual and reproductive health and human rights, and initiatives for safe motherhood and family planning.” This campaign runs to fight for all that women deserve, especially the right to terminate a pregnancy safely. Just because a women wants to terminate one’s pregnancy does not give a doctor a right to make sure a woman can never bare a child again. The campaign stands for the right for a women to be able to feel safe when going through such a procedure. This campaign fights for the right for women. For decades there's been people fighting for and against women’s rights. When abortion became legal some people were outraged and some people were extremely satisfied. However never once has someone fought for a right to a safe abortion. When an abortion procedure is done incorrectly it can render a woman infertile. In conclusion the position on abortion is one that will always be a topic that is discussed and debated. My position on this topic stands at letting women choose what they want to do with their body in every way including medically. If a women wants to terminate a pregnancy one month and then chooses to get pregnant and keep the baby a month later that is her choice. For decades women have been oppressed and have had men telling them what is right and wrong, it’s time for a women to make her own choices regarding her health and life. Organizations like Planned Parenthood and Campaigns like International Campaign for Women’s Right to Safe Abortion not only stand up for women but for young women who are not ready to become a parent just yet. While every life is valuable, and it is true that every life matters it is a women’s right to be able to decide what they want to do with their body. Just because you do not agree with a person or their views doesn’t mean that you should try and stake a claim on every women in the world. Does not mean you can tell every women in the world that she can’t make her own medical decisions. While researching for this paper I viewed plenty of different positions, like life begins at conception, and while the point was made there are still people all over the world who believe otherwise. Living in this world as a women, everyday I hear something from other people regarding my body and how I should take care of it, whether it’s about me carrying a child at my age or about inking my skin with tattoos. My point is everyday women are being told what to do and what not to do, it is time for women to be their own person and not have to listen to old men telling them no at every turn they make. Biblography "EPublications." Infertility fact sheet. N.p., n.d. Web. 26 Apr. 2017. Finer, Lawrence B., Lori F. Frohwirth, Lindsay A. Dauphinee, Susheela Singh, and Ann M. Moore. "Reasons U.S. Women Have Abortions: Quantitative and Qualitative Perspectives." Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health. Blackwell Publishing Ltd, 23 Jan. 2007. Web. 26 Apr. 2017. "Induced Abortion in the United States." Guttmacher Institute. N.p., 17 Jan. 2017. Web. 26 Apr. 2017. Parenthood, Planned. "Roe v. Wade." Planned Parenthood Action Fund. N.p., n.d. Web. 26 Apr. 2017. "Who we are/ What we do." Safe Abortion Womens Right. N.p., n.d. Web. 26 Apr. 2017. Why Life Begins at Conception | NAAPC. N.p., n.d. Web. 26 Apr. 2017.