#* i. maternal abandonment causes serious deviant behavior. ( billy loomis. ) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hoss-bonaventure · 3 years

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“maternal behavior causes serious deviant behavior”

I honestly don’t think that line was really necessary for billy’s whole ‘killers don’t need motives’ monologue. for the sake of storytelling I know that it’s meant to explain why he killed maureen and how she fucked up his life, but I feel like we can dig deeper. it’s no surprise by now that billy is an obviously queer coded character, and I feel like this line just really proves my point. yes we can take the easy way out and say “he’s talking about his psychotic behavior” but what if it wasn’t? what if billy was taking about his attraction to men and being gay? for the time period in which scream was made [the mid 1990s] society was famously not open or accepting to members of the lgbt community. being a gay man in that time with daddy issues must’ve been a shitshow. walks in billy loomis, folks. that man was probably overrun with internalized homophobia and honestly it’s understandable. like his mother leaves when he’s a kid and from that point onward he’s stuck with his dad. and let’s face it all dads in the 90s were like basically homophobic. what if billy thought that if he had a mother around he could be straight? billy probably believed that if he still had his mom in the picture he could be normal in terms of what the standard for the 90s were. and folks…that’s the reason why I think billy says “maternal behavior causes serious deviant behavior”. it’s because this man is so corrupted with internalized homophobia that he genuinely believes that if he had a mom around he would be “normal”. he thinks his attraction to men and his homosexuality is a byproduct of him being abandoned and that shit hurts man.

#stu macher #billy loomis #scream #scream 1996 #stuilly #ghostface #i will never stop talking about billy loomis #like i get it #him being gay is a headcanon #but it makes literally so much sense #and i really do hope he knows that he’s valid #god im crying over a murderer #i love him sue me

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surviveshe · 5 years

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my endless edits of billy and sidney . ( do not steal ! ) @killingsidney .

#hi ily bb #hereeeee ya go bc we rave abt this scene a lot ... and how they sit !!!!!#* i. my love is just waiting to clothe you in crimson roses. ( rel : sidney & billy. )#* i. maternal abandonment causes serious deviant behavior. ( billy loomis. )#what do u mean ???? billy didn't ever love her #i think ur wrong

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surviveshe · 5 years

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“ let’s pretend it’s all a scary movie sid, how do you think it’s gonna end ? ” 1 / ? edits of sidney & billy mutuals can reblog ! @killingsidney .

#the colourings a lil shit but i love them ahhhh #when bae takes a break from trying to kill u for a cuddle #* i. my love is just waiting to clothe you in crimson roses. ( rel : sidney & billy. )#* i. maternal abandonment causes serious deviant behavior. ( billy loomis. )#my BABIES #it's a shame this scene comes up so blue in my psd

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surviveshe · 5 years

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HEADCANON’S --- POST BILLY !

there are a lot of feelings that are incredibly difficult for sidney to deal with after the events of the first killings and the truth coming out about billy and stu --- and their deaths. i’m going to briefly comment on my thought process of how she feels about it, i wanna do a few full head canons on this, but this will probably be just a quick look !

the events are catastrophic to her mental health especially after discovering that not only were two people she trusted so deeply responsible for the death of her friends, and that they were CAPABLE of such things --- but the fact that her boyfriend, someone she cared about and was so deeply in love with, was the one who killed her mother. she can’t fathom how he could do something so horrendous and it leaves her with endless questions about him, and whether any of their relationship had ever been real. that’s one of the most painful parts for her, because after her mom’s death, she leaned on him more, treasured him more, though she did push him away due to her struggle in sorting through the array of emotions due to the grief of the loss. the worst part is that even despite all of what’s happened, she still loves him deep down, and maybe it’s part of the fact that she’s in love with the part of him --- if there was any, that was good. the idea of him. the boyfriend she thought he was. it’s almost like she’s in love with a ghost, someone non-existent. it’s this that causes a lot of mental suffering for her, because she hates herself for still having feelings for him. she’s disgusted because even though he’s gone, and she knows better than anyone he’s gone because she’s the one who killed him ---- it’s like he’s still her and has a grip on her life because of the feelings she still has. she’s disgusted with herself for not only still loving him but for still playing his game, for giving him this grip on her life --- on HER. she’s haunted by the ghost of him still. and she does despise him, deep down there is parts of her that loathe what he’s done, who he was, and what he took from her, and it’s like both feelings wage a war on her constantly. it’s this vicious circle of emotions that she doesn’t have the ability to sort through and this only leads further to paranoia that she has with new people ---- as seen with derek later when she dates him, she’s quick enough to believe mickey when he places blame upon her boyfriend. she also never tells him she loves him and it’s not because there isn’t some feelings that she has for that male, but it’s because the last time she opened herself up to loving someone, he turned her world completely upside down and on it’s head and left her broken. she doesn’t feel like she can love again, not only because of this, but she doesn’t want to put anyone at risk. maybe she feels as though she’s completely at blame, and that she’s some ticking time bomb and everyone she cares about dies. this is also seen when she loses randy, it’s the death that affects her most --- because he had been there from the beginning with her, he was her best friend and she feels like she should have stopped it somehow, and when she finds out it’s all part of billy’s mom’s vendetta, she feels almighty guilt over randy. she doesn’t wanna get close to people especially after scream 2 as well, once more people die --- she just feels as though not only will them being close to her cause the inevitable to happen but also .. after billy ?? a relationship frightens her because she's worried she doesn't really truly know anyone, and paranoia is something that takes a massive grip on her !

sidney can’t help the part of her that still holds love for billy. it’s the part that fell in love with him before it all. that holds onto hope that maybe he did love her, or at least care for her. it’s too painful for her to even fathom him not having any love at all for her, that the whole entire relationship was a lie even before his mom left. she likes to think that maybe he didn’t always want to kill her. the nights where he would climb through her window, or when they ended up on the train tracks, looking at the stars after his dad had a meltdown over his report card. she has nights where she thinks about it, and about the 'what ifs' which drive her entirely mad, and she's left awake thinking so much that sleep never finds her --- her head is left hurting from the weight of these thoughts.

she's also still grieving billy despite the horrific things he did to her, despite the fact that he took her mom from her, she still grieves for him and it's one of the most overwhelming things that she finds herself struggling to come to terms with. it’s completely maddening. she grieves the guy she thought he was, she’s almost consumed by the grief, over the loss of their relationship. over the fact that she lost him --- he had been her safe place to land, he had comforted her, he had been sweet. he had felt like all she had after her mom died and then to realize she didn't really know him at all ? and that he was responsible for it all, is the most sickening and bone chilling thing. she can’t understand not only how he had been a completely different person that she didn’t know about, but she’s also incredibly angry at herself because surely, she should have noticed.

she's stuck in this limbo of grieving horrendously for the endless list of people that she's lost, and it's the worst feeling and she finds herself feeling completely trapped within it. it all hits her at once, and she’s almost numb at times --- but other times, it’s like her chest is caving in and she can’t breathe. she also suffers badly with PTSD, and when she isn’t having nights of insomnia, she’s having nightmares that leave her screaming, and shaken to the core. she’s struck with flashbacks, and nightmares and some of them feel so real that it’s always hard for her on times to differentiate what’s real and what’s not. it feels like she can feel him there on times, or hear him and she knows it’s her mind playing tricks on her --- playing with every inch of her that still has feelings, and with the devastating trauma she’s experienced so deeply. one of the worst things for her is not knowing if any of it was real, because part of her can’t believe he loved her if he could take her mom away from her. someone she loved wouldn’t do that. she knows she should feel glad that billy and stu are gone and part of her did feel glad until the killing started again. because she thought it would end with him and stu, even though deep down --- she had this worry that it would never be over. that it's left such horrible trust issues, and worries that she doesn't know how to deal with. and she’s scared she will never be able to fully face these feelings and deal with them, all of it truly frightens her, all she keeps doing is bottling it up --- and saying that she’s fine. saying that she’s fine has somewhat become a mantra that she keeps repeating --- maybe hoping that eventually she’ll believe it. the fact that he killed a lot of people and caused the biggest wake of devastation in her life really doesn't make her feelings of grief over him any less valid. she feels like it almost heightens them. part of her is angry, and deflated, because he died, and then someone else started killing. was all of it for nothing ? the part of her that loved him feels like surely he could have been locked up instead. killing him haunted her too. she knows that she’ll always have these feelings for him that she can never deal with or process and that she’ll always forever be in love with the ghost / idea of a man, and it is one of the most tragic things about all of this.

#thanks for coming to my ramble ted talk .#if u read all of this #someone reply and tell me if it makes sense #bc i feel like i just ... rambled for my life #INSTEAD OF LIP SYNC FOR UR LIFE #RAMBLE FOR UR LIFE #me #* i. don't fuck with the original ! ( headcanons. )#* i. maternal abandonment causes serious deviant behavior. ( billy loomis. )

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surviveshe · 5 years

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❝ come out, come out! wherever you are! you can’t hide from me forever! ❞

murderer meme / status : accepting. / @killingsidney .

UNHINGED SHOUTING SETS HER FURTHER ON EDGE , her body is curled into a ball in the smallest of corners in her dads closet. she’s hoping with all her might that the clothes on the railing above and the enormous amount of clutter — things that belonged to her mother disguise her. entire body is screaming inside as the startling realization hits her that not even a few feet away from her right now was where he killed her mother. mind is flashed back to that night and the horrific memories circulate her mind. hand moves to cup her mouth as both an attempt to quieten her ragged breaths — still feeling the effect of both running for her life but the injuries already inflicted. but also a more desperate attempt to keep herself from throwing up as nausea hits her in waves becoming all the more overwhelming. blood soaked sheets and the blank face of her dead mother are images she tries to shake from her head. how she was completely empty behind eyes that were once so loving. just as loving as billy’s had been when he looked at her not so long back and here he was ready to take her life. CAN’T THINK OF THAT NOW. if anything it frightened her more because she knew what he was capable of and he’d had her completely fooled for so long. HER WORLD WAS CRUMBLING AT HER FEET. she tried with all her mind to catch it, to sift through the destruction he’d left her in with such a earth shattering betrayal. chocolate hues scan the closet in hopes to find something to defend herself but there’s nothing that would be any good against a gun and knife. instead she reaches for a hard sweeping brush, pulling off the end of it so it’s just a wooden stick. AT LEAST SHE CAN HOPEFULLY TAKE A FEW GOOD SWINGS AT HIM. at least she can try and fight. faces aches from the array of cuts upon it already as well as the slice upon her arm from when she narrowly avoided the blade. heart stills almost in her chest as she hears footsteps descending on the closet and she feels breath catch in her throat. if he found her now, then she had to try to at least hit him to get an element of surprise and make a run for it. standing ever so quietly, she curled her body so it was hidden at the wall — thankfully out of view. there’s a moment of quiet as she feels the liquid gold that is her adrenaline coursing through her veins — and she feels like she can do anything. all she wants is to injure him just long enough to get out of there. IN HER HEART SHE KNOWS SHE COULDN’T DO WHAT HE WAS INTENDING FOR HER TO HIM. there’s too much love lingering in her heart for him, despite everything. so much so that she felt like she was drowning on it. all of the sudden realizations are killing her. they’re ricocheting off of her rib cage and pressing so hard upon her lungs that it feels like her chest is caving in. like it can’t cope with such trauma. it’s as she takes an almighty deep breath in hopes of not feeling so disconnected from her body that the closet doors open. there’s not a beat as the handle of the broom swings to collide with the man and she’s thankful as she hears a thud. using it to strike him a further few times, she dodges out of the closet with it still in hand. using his momentary collapse upon the ground to run from the room with a few sparing words over her shoulder. ‘ better try harder than that, you sick fuck ! ’ it’s as she’s finally making her attempt at running away that she finally feels human again with her heart thudding wildly in her chest, in order to keep her fighting. she won’t give up.

#killingsidney #* i. listen up folks ! war is over ! ( meme's : answered. )#* i. my love is just waiting to clothe you in crimson roses. ( rel : sidney & billy. )#* i. maternal abandonment causes serious deviant behavior. ( billy loomis. )#I HOPE THIS IS OKAY BBY

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