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makerofmadness · 9 months

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NEW AND IMPROVED: incorrect FNAF quotes

Uh just forget all the previous posts I can't remember half the quotes I made and also some of them are outdated lore-wise or headcanon-wise so time for a grand reopening of the series(?). May have done some of these quotes exactly the same in the past but heck if I know-

Contains: Headcanons, spoilers for Ruin, hopefully no big mistakes/words I forgot to replace

Speaking of headcanons: I hc that the "classic fnaf" era night guards are all the fnaf 4 bullies. So Michael, Fritz, Jeremy, and the last one is entirely an OC (whom I had described in my old quotes posts but I've renamed her now 'Cus I accidentally gave her the same name as a BATIM character whoops-): Susanna "Susie" Hudson. She's the FNAF 3 guard.

as was before, I get these quotes from the perchance generator and just insert the characters in manually.

quotes under the cut:

Gregory (seeing that one unexplained room): Is… Is that meant to be on fire? Roxanne Wolf: No… not really. Gregory: Are you going to do something about it? Roxanne Wolf: Hm… nah.

Michael Afton: Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices. Michael Afton: Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.

Mangle: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time.

Susanna Hudson: I’m genuinely surprised you haven’t gotten arrested, let alone gotten a felony yet. Fritz Smith: Nat 20 Charisma. Susanna Hudson: That is NOT how that works-

Golden Freddy: If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will. -

Mangle: I don’t care what anyone thinks about me. Withered Foxy: Ok. Mangle: Wait, why such a muted reaction? Did that not sound cool?

Mangle: Welcome to Fucking Applebees, do you want apples or bees? Jeremy Fitzgerald: Bees? Mangle: HE HAS SELECTED THE BEES! Jeremy Fitzgerald: Wait- *Toy Chica approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly* ('Twas but an allegory for the Bite of 87-)

Fritz Smith: I wasn’t that drunk. Jeremy Fitzgerald: You colored my face with a highlighter because you said I was important. Fritz Smith: BECAUSE YOU ARE! -

The Puppet: Bonnie, are you drinking… drinking hydrogen peroxide?! Toy Bonnie: It says H2O2! That means it’s the sequel to water! -

Michael Afton: I'm not a morning person. I'm barely even a person.

Circus Baby: Pardon me, but it sounds like you’re questioning my authority! Funtime Foxy: Not at all, Baby. Merely your primitive methods.

Crying Child (FNAF 4), after having a nosebleed: Welp. Time to wash the blood off my hands.

Gregory: Can we go to a haunted house? Vanessa: What’s wrong with the one we live in? Gregory: Wh-what? Vanessa: Goodnight, Gregory.

Toy Bonnie: Here is my wall of inspirational people. Withered Bonnie: Is that a picture of you? Toy Bonnie: Yes, I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.

The Mimic: I have one of your friends. Glamrock Freddy: Which one? I have seven. The Mimic: The loud, annoying, rowdy one who never shuts up. Glamrock Freddy: Which one? I have seven. Roxanne Wolf, distantly: HEY!!!

Michael Afton: What’s the status up here? Fritz Smith: Fucked up, about to die, Jeremy's a nerd. The usual.

Roxanne Wolf: You're pathetic! Gregory: You're pathetic-er! Vanny: You're both losers.

*Comments under an image of a really hot knife cutting bread* Molten Freddy: Imagine stabbing someone with this knife. Helpy: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bleed, so it's not very useful. Rockstar Chica: if you want information it is Music Man: why would you STAB a person when you can have TOAST?

Ennard: I’ve never been in a snowball fight before. I don’t know the rules. Michael Afton: What? Ennard: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?

*Michael Afton rushes by with an armful of water bottles* Funtime Chica: What's going on? Rockstar Foxy: Mike wouldn't drink water. Funtime Chica: …And? Rockstar Foxy: And I asked him how fast he could chug an entire bottle. Michael Afton, loudly: 16 OUNCES IN TEN SECONDS, BITCHES!

Roxanne Wolf: Sometimes I talk to myself for no reason. Roxanne Wolf: Me too!

Montgomery Gator: Do you think different paints have different tastes? Glamrock Chica: They do. Glamrock Freddy: …Why did you say that with such certainty?

William Afton: You might not know this, Henry, but I am a flawed person. Henry Emily: I do know that.

William Afton: I could kill you if I wanted. Michael Afton: Yeah? So could any other human being. So could a dog. So could a dedicated duck. You aren't special.

Dee Dee: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.

Funtime Freddy: I have one brain cell and it bounces around in my skull like a windows screen saver. Funtime Freddy: When it hits a corner perfect, I’m allowed one good idea.

Cassie: You're ignoring all your problems. Eclipse: I know. Cassie: You also know it's an unhealthy coping mechanism? Eclipse: I'm ignoring that fact as well. Cassie:

Withered Foxy: What do people in relationships even do? Toy Freddy: Care about someone with your whole heart and dedicate your life to making them happy. Withered Foxy: Okay. Didn't ask. Toy Chica: Asks question Toy Chica: "Didn't ask" Withered Foxy: Thanks for the play by play, Captain Fuck.

Withered Foxy: BB? What are you doing here? Balloon Boy, standing in the office: My best.

The Squad: *walking around the Pizzaplex* Moon: Hey, have any of you guys seen Chica? She's been gone for a while.. Vanessa: Eh, nope. Montgomery Gator: No, I haven’t… Roxanne Wolf: Probably ran off to get pizza or something. Glamrock Chica: Hey. Moon: Ooh, there you are- Vanessa: What the fu- Roxanne Wolf: I- where were you?! Glamrock Chica: Walking right behind you guys.

Funtime Freddy: Bon-Bon! Eggs Benedict got that thing on the control panel working! Bon-Bon: Wow! That looks pretty impressive. Funtime Freddy: Yeah! Bon-Bon: Any idea what it does? Funtime Freddy: Not a clue.

Gregory: I just learned a way to get stuff on the cheap. Steal it!

Cassie: You have to apologize to Roxy! Gregory: Fine! Gregory: Unfuck you, or whatever!

Michael Afton: Rockstar Bonnie just said "I have an appetite for destruction" and then he reached down and untied my shoe.

Gregory: School sucks. Vanessa: I know, but you have to do it so you can get a job. Gregory: What are jobs like? Vanessa: They suck.

The Mimic: I am literally evil incarnate. The Mimic: I’m not actually, I just enjoy being evil. The Mimic: Which I think actually makes it even more evil because I’m making a conscious effort.

William Afton: Something’s off. Henry Emily: Maybe you’ve finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people. William Afton: No, but that’s funny.

Montgomery Gator: Do you ever think? Because I do not.

Gregory: What language do they speak at the center of the earth? Gregory: Core-ean Glamrock Freddy: The center of the earth is arond 5430 degrees Celsius! Nobody is going to live there so they don’t need a language! Vanessa: Core-ean.

Toy Bonnie: I don’t know the first thing about clothes. Pretty much all I can do is look at something and tell you if it’s clothes or not. This chair? Not clothes.

Roxanne Wolf: How would you like your hair cut? Montgomery Gator: Preferably with scissors, but a sword could be badass.

Withered Chica, looking at her reflection: Now, that's rubbish. Who's that supposed to be? Toy Chica: Well, that's you. Withered Chica: Me?! Is that what I look like? Toy Chica You don't know? Withered Chica: Busy day.

Withered Bonnie, to Toy Bonnie: All right, let’s tell each other a secret about ourselves. I’m going to go first– I hate you.

Jeremy Fitzgerald: We need to distract these guys. Fritz Smith: Leave it to me. Fritz Smith: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. Toy Freddy & Toy Bonnie: *immediately begin arguing*

Susanna Hudson: Coca Cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what it’s doing to your body. Fritz Smith: Pfff, getting rid of the rust, idiot. Susanna Hudson: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS! Michael Afton: Hmm… I've been drinking soda and my body's rust free… not sure where you're getting your facts from…

Circus Baby: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out. Ballora: Fucking Freddy and Foxy were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.

Circus Baby: All in all, a 100 successful trip. Funtime Freddy: But we lost Bon-Bon. Circus Baby: All in all, a 100 successful trip!

(FNAF humans be like:)

Susanna Hudson: *fills up bottle and drinks from that* Vanessa: *brought 4 bottles of water so this wouldn’t happen* Cassie: *drinks straight from the tap* Crying Child: *dehydrates* Gregory: *drinks from the puddle of water on the floor* Michael Afton: *licks the tap, doesn’t even need a drink*

Cassie: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait. Gregory: You and me! Cassie: *tearing up* Ok.

(we can pretend the ending never happened just a bit-)

Chica: Why's it called an oven when you of in the cold food and you of out hot eat the food? Freddy: …What???

Gregory, holding a scooter: Vanessa! Can I go outside and play with this? Vanessa Sure, whatever. I'm not your parent, okay? Gregory, running outside: Thanks Vanessa! Vanessa, running out after him and screaming: NOT ON THE STREET! STAY AWAY!

Jeremy Fitzgerald: Look, last night was a mistake. Fritz Smith: A sexy mistake. Jeremy Fitzgerald: No, just a regular mistake.

Mangle: Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, and wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Toy Freddy: That's deep. Toy Bonnie: That means that ketchup is a smoothie. Toy Freddy: That's deeper. The Puppet: …You guys are idiots.

RWQFSFASXC: I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

Withered Chica: You know, when I first met you I thought you were a real bitch. Toy Chica: What changed your mind? Withered Chica: Oh, I still think you're a bitch. I've just grown to like that about you.

Freddy: Don't break someone's heart, they only have one. Golden Freddy: Break one of their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

*1987's game of Among Us in real life* Jeremy Fitzgerald: I believe Fritz is innocent, I was with them the whole time. Mr. Afton, what were you doing? William Afton: Oh, I was just murdering… I mean, nothing!

Toy Bonnie: Is the pink panther a lion? Withered Bonnie: Say that again but slower. Toy Bonnie: I don’t get it. Withered Bonnie: He’s a PANTHER. Toy Bonnie: Is that a type of lion? Withered Bonnie: No, it’s a fucking panther. Toy Bonnie: *googles panther* They aren't pink? Withered Bonnie: AND LIONS ARE?!

Henry Emily: Do you have any skeletons in your closet? William Afton: Literally or figuratively? Henry Emily: I have to specify?

Bonnie: Yesterday, I watched Foxy try to eat a decorative rock from the night guard's potted plant. The Puppet caught him, and told him that he can't eat rocks. Chica started whining something about no food being in the house before walking away.

Susanna Hudson: I spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter “s”. Michael Afton: *looks over at Fritz Smith and Jeremy Fitzgerald* Michael Afton: Is it “sexual tension”?

Gregory, after acquiring the Fazer-blaster: The ‘how the fucks’ and 'why are you so dumbs’ don’t matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun.

*after discussing the plan to burn down Fazbear's Fright* Susanna Hudson: Does anyone have any questions? Jeremy Fitzgerald: Is this legal? Susanna Hudson: Does anyone have any relevant questions?

Dee Dee: Don’t worry, I have a permit. Old Man Consequences: …This just says “I can do what I want”.

Fritz Smith: You look good in that hoodie. Jeremy Fitzgerald: You know where else I'd look good? Fritz Smith, zero hesitation: My bed. Jeremy Fitzgerald, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

Helpi: Fun Fact! The average person will walk by 36 murderers in their lifetime. Cassie: I like how this is a "fun" fact. MXES: It's fun because they didn't decide to murder you.

Susanna Hudson: Just be careful, Mike! Michael Afton: heading out the door I'm always careful, Susie! Michael Afton: It's everything around me that's careless.

The Puppet: We are not mad. We are just disappointed. Golden Freddy: No, we are mad. The Puppet: Yes. We are. We are livid. But we are going to let this one slide. Golden Freddy: No, we’re not! The Puppet: I am not a mind reader, Cassidy!

Cassie: Do you take constructive criticism? Helpi: No, only cash or credit.

Roxanne Wolf: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway. Gregory: Roxanne Wolf: Vroom vroom, come out already.

Phone Guy: *Answers phone* Hello? Fritz Smith: It's Fritz Smith. Phone Guy: What did he do this time? Fritz Smith: No, it's me, phone guy. It's actually me. Phone Guy: What did you do this time?

Vanessa: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

Golden Freddy, referring to the Fazbear Gang(tm): Those guys are dorks. The Puppet: Yes, but they’re my dorks.

Glamrock Chica: Are you busy? Montgomery Gator: No. Glamrock Chica: Want to do something? Montgomery Gator: Why would you try to ruin this for me?

Susanna Hudson: Go to hell! Springtrap: Oh! I’ve been there, thank you. I found it quite lovely.

Elizabeth Afton: When was the last time you cried? Crying Child: Uh 15 minutes ago, why?? Elizabeth Afton: really? That recent? Crying Child: Yeah *voice crack* is that an issue? starts crying again

JJ: So I can either do something dumb that could very well get me injured or I can listen to the Puppet and not do the thing, JJ: Well there’s a clear right answer here. JJ: *proceeds to throw five packs of mentos into a barrel full of diet coke*

Ennard: You have an impressive pain tolerance. Michael Afton: Thanks, it's the trauma.

Sun, dashing into the room: WHY AREN’T THE DISHES IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER?! Vanessa: …What does that even mean?!

Susanna Hudson, toward Michael Afton: Wow, left-handed AND British? You really are an illusion.

Freddy: We’re kind of missing something guys. Bonnie: Cohesion? Chica: Teamwork? Foxy: A general sense of what we’re doing? Golden Freddy: And the Puppet is not here. Chica: Oh, and that, yeah.

Michael Afton: Ennard, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason. Ennard, wearing a hoodie that's 5 times bigger than their size: Spooky.

Roxanne Wolf: Tired of just deserving better. Gonna start taking it by force.

Scraptrap: *dies* Helpy: Timer starts now! When is he coming back? I say two months! Music Man: Bullshit. One month. Lefty: Nah, half a month. Rockstar Foxy, sobbing: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? SOMEONE JUST DIED! Mr. Hippo, scratching chin in thought: One week.

Michael Afton: I’ve been sleeping so little the past few nights that when I go to the alarm app, I click on the “power nap” button. I don’t set up alarms, I set up timers, Helpy.

Roxanne Wolf: Let’s not Gregory this into a worse situation than it already is. Gregory: Did you just use my name as a verb?

Scrap Baby: Tommorrow's garbage day. Molten Freddy: I can't believe they made a whole day dedicated to you.

Glamrock Freddy: *lifting weights* Montgomery Gator: Wow… He's so intense! Glamrock Chica: I wonder what drives him. Glamrock Freddy, internally: (Oh I am going to be SO good at giving hugs.)

Fritz Smith: The greatest trick the devil ever played was getting me banned from an all you can eat pizza buffet. Jeremy Fitzgerald: Why’d you get banned? Fritz Smith: Touched the bear. Jeremy Fitzgerald: … What bear? Fritz Smith: Feddy Fazbear

#Fnaf #incorrect quotes #incorrect fnaf quotes #ruin spoilers #security breach ruin spoilers #fnaf ruin spoilers #sb ruin spoilers #fnaf sb ruin spoilers #Jerefritz #I would've made this even longer but at the last one tumblr reloaded itself (thankfully the draft saved though so I didn't lose anything)#And that plus it starting to kinda lag I think makes me think that tumblr's trying to tell me to stop so yeah #Hope everyone enjoys. Will probably do more in the future.#fnaf oc #<- kinda.

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mysticsparklewings · 4 years

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Blue Java Bananya

Well here's something I wasn't planning on making at all! This year certainly started off with a bang!, and not a good one, what with my drawing tablet going kaput on me. But at the very least, thanks to my brother I have a temporary solution. He was able to get his hands on a Surface Pro 3 through work, and after acquiring a stylus I've been working on adapting to it for the time being. It's taking a lot of getting used to, but I'd rather have to get used to this than have nothing at all until next century when I can afford a more proper replacement. Anyway. That whole fiasco just depressed and stressed me out to no end, among other life things. For my birthday, I was gifted a DVD of Bananya, a show about, you guessed it--banana cats like the one I've drawn here. I watched the whole thing (about 40 minutes, the episodes are pretty short) in one sitting, and for that time I was able to forget about everything that was worrying me and just enjoy some cute fruit kitties and simple fun. No over-the-top, save-the-world plot, no complicated character dynamics, no overcoming past trauma, just fun and cute. I knew about Bananya for a while, as a couple of years ago I got my hands on a couple of plushies before I even knew the show existed; I just thought the concept of cat-bananas with velcro peels was adorable. It was only later when I was wondering where they originated from that I found out there was a show, and subsequently that the only way to watch the English dub was on the DVD. (No offense to anyone that prefers subs over dubs; I just have a really hard time splitting my attention between what's happening and who's saying what and trying to read the text. Plus I have a hard time sitting down and just watching a show and doing nothing else; dubbed makes it possible for me to do other things and not have to stare at the screen and hope I can read fast enough.) Since I had bananas on the brain after that and it's a really simple and cute art style, I decided to test out getting accustomed to the Surface Pro that I'd draw a little Bananya OC of sorts. In the show, the bananyas are named more so for the cat part of their appearance, usually, but I wanted mine to stand out a bit more and I'm pretty sure that if they aren't already that eventually, all the default cat-pattern names are going to be canonically taken. So I went and I looked up strange/different types of bananas and discovered the blue java or "ice cream" banana, which has a bluish tint to the peel when it's young, and because of it's vanilla taste and creamy texture, it's actually offered as a healthier alternative to ice cream in areas where it's more commonly found (hence the nickname). And now I really want to try one but I haven't the foggiest idea where I'd find them here in the states. My other option was a red/pink variety and the show already has at least 2 bananyas with pink peels and one with pink on her head, so I took the blue banana and ran with it. (Although upon further inspection, I think the newer bananya episodes they're currently working on that haven't been dubbed yet feature one with a blue banana peel so I may still not be completely unique here despite my efforts.) I went with more of a teal/greenish-blue as opposed to a more "true" blue, since even in pictures while the blue java is definitely blue compared to the average banana, it's not blue like a blue raspberry candy is blue. They're actually a pretty pastel kind of almost mint color-- And suddenly, as I'm typing this I think I better understand why vanilla Tootsie Rolls come in a blue wrapper...are they based on these bananas?? Does anybody know?? --*ahem* As I was saying... The bananas, from what I understand, also lose/fade that blue color as they mature. Which would explain why I couldn't seem to find a picture of a peeled Blue Java banana that had that same pastel-colored peel. But I went with it anyway. (This is a show about banana cats, I don't think we have to be 100% scientifically accurate here.) I also added some black spots to the cat part of my bananya, as I haven't seen a white-with-black-spots one in canon material and I have a bit of soft spot for black-and-white kitties in particular. And while I have had second thoughts that maybe her name should be "ice cream bananya" instead (for the reasons I went over earlier about the real bananas), I ultimately when with Blue Java Bannaya, as it very on-the-nose like the other bananya names, and in a way I think the "java" part fits with the black spots. But that's mostly just because java makes me think of "java chip frappucino" from Starbucks, which makes me think of chocolate chips, which are usually dark spots in cookies...see where I'm going with this? Though on the other hand, the black and white also kinda makes me think of Oreos, which would tie-in with the ice cream thing because usually Cookies n Cream ice cream is made with Oreos or knock-off Oreos, so I suppose it would've been equally fair to name her "Cookie Bananya" or something... Eh, for now, she stays as Blue Java. Or just "Java" for short. It was pretty straight forward to draw her, as I mentioned that the bananya style is pretty simple. Dare I say minimal? The main struggles I had boiled down to the learning curve with the Surface Pro and the new stylus. The pen pressure, maybe obviously, isn't as good as I'm used to, and the disparity between the tip of the pen and where the cursor actually is is different, and I think there's a little bit of lag when I'm drawing but that might be more to do with me having the stabilizer turned up a bit higher than normal in trying to compensate for the other issues. Still, I was at least able to manage for something as simple as this. I am admittedly horrified at the prospect of one of my usual, more complex digital drawings though...learning curves and baby steps... I'm not happy about the tablet situation, but at least the bananya is cute so I can focus on that instead. I do sincerely hope I'm very wrong about how long I'm going to be using this new set-up for though, because the way things are going it's going to be a very long time before I have the option of a better alternative... ____ Artwork/Character © me, MysticSparkleWings I do not own Bananya ____ Where to find me & my artwork: My Website | Commission Info + Prices | Ko-Fi | dA Print Shop | RedBubble | Twitter | Tumblr | Instagram

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h-styles-babes · 7 years

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No Control | Chapter Thirty

Summary:

Micky Bennett: college student, loyal friend, aspiring nurse, One Direction fan, Harry Styles enthusiast. Her best friend, Trevor, wins tickets to a show in New Jersey with meet and greet passes. Micky expects a quick photo op with the boys and a great night at the concert with her best friend. What she gets a whole lot more than she bargained for.

To read previous chapters, you can go here.

*Please feel free to reblog and send feedback. It’s much appreciated :)*

*Gif is not mine.*

CHAPTER THIRTY

Aside from some news outlets reporting on the fact that Harry and I were seen together again in London over the weekend and reported sightings of us together in LA, as well, there’s not a big deal made out of the whole affair. I’m sure the fans are losing their minds online, but I stay well away from that, and I advise Trevor to, as well, even though I know his nosy ass will probably still be hunting on Twitter and Tumblr for some discourse.

My life returns to normal when Monday comes around. I go to work at my normal time with only a little bit of jet lag to show for it. I manage to get a nap in in one of the on call rooms just after lunch, though, and it makes everything a bit better.

Harry keeps in contact with me over the week, making sure I don’t need anything and the baby is doing okay. He throws around names every once in a while, too, which I think is kind of cute. He sometimes stumbles upon ones that I take into serious consideration. Trevor is all smiles when I tell him Harry and I are discussing names, so he doesn't have to keep threatening to take the birth certificate forms from me in the hospital.

The next week, Harry calls me to confirm that he’s going to the appointment with me. I tell him that there’s a back entrance for the doctor’s office, so he doesn’t have to be seen walking into an Ob/Gyn. He thanks me and lets me know that he’s told Jeff, who’s taken it upon himself to take care of all the legal things that come along with a celebrity having a baby with a woman he’s not in a relationship with. Harry says he doesn’t think it’s necessary, but I know that it’ll probably benefit him in the long run if those sorts of things are figured out now.

A few days later, Trev tells me that he’s having his birthday party at Cafe Habana, a Cuban fusion restaurant in Beverly Hills. Some friends of his have connections, so he’s got a whole section reserved for us to celebrate. He’s having his mum fly out and some of our friends from NYU coming, as well as some of his new friends from USC, so it should be a good time. He tells me to invite Harry, if I’m comfortable with it, and I tell him that I’ll talk to him when I see him in a few days.

On the day of my appointment, I wake up excited because I’ll get to see my baby again. Little Bean has been pretty active lately, and she keeps me up sometimes, but she usually settles enough towards midnight that I’m able to get enough sleep in order to function like a normal human being while I’m at work.

Since I don’t have to worry about hiding the bump today, I pull on a pair of jean shorts and a Rolling Stones t-shirt that still miraculously fits me, and I find a white jean jacket to pull over it because it’s always a bit chilly in the doctor’s office. Trev is already gone to class by the time I make it out of my bedroom, and he’s left a note on the fridge reminding me to get extra copies of the sonogram photos to send to mine and Harry’s parents. I make a mental note to also get some to send to Grimmy, since he’s texted me nearly every day the past couple of weeks asking about the baby and making sure I haven’t done something stupid like return the heap of clothes he bought during our trip. When I get to the office, one of the MAs calls my name immediately, a polite smile on her face.

“The father has already arrived,” she tells me, her voice low. I called the office the week before to let them know that Harry was coming today and asked if there was a way he could go straight to an exam room when he got here. They were more than happy to accommodate my request, not unused to having publicly recognizable faces in and out of the office. “He’s in exam room 3.”

“Thanks for this,” I tell her as she shows me back to the room, stopping at the nurse’s station first to take my vitals. “Hope it wasn’t too much trouble.”

She smiles as she places to blood pressure cuff around my arm. “None at all. We do it quite often. Plus, he’s so sweet. Chatted with one of the nurse’s about her own pregnancy for awhile and asked us all how we are.”

“Yeah, he’s a charmer,” I agree with a chuckle as she takes my temperature. “Are you two still together?” she asks. “Up on the scale,” she instructs.

“No, we never really were,” I admit, not knowing how else to explain it to her. I don’t even know how to explain it to myself most of the time. “He’s just a good guy and wants to be present.”

“Sometimes, that’s all we need.” She’s silent as she takes down my weight, and I notice that I’ve only gained a few pounds since the last time I was here. “He seems like he’ll be a good dad.” We smile at each other and she tells me to get down. “Let’s head back to the room. The doctor will be with you in a few minutes.”

Exam room 3 is just down the hall, and the door is closed. She taps lightly three times before opening it up. “Micky’s here,” she tells Harry, who’s sitting in the extra chair in the corner of the room.

He looks up from his phone as I enter, a smile stretching across his face. “Hey,” he greets, standing to pull me into a hug. “Sorry I was kinda early. I’m nervous.” I laugh and pull back to look up at him. “What are you nervous for? Just gonna get some pictures and take some measurements.”

“All very routine,” the MA nods. “I’ll be out of your hair. Dr. Lorenz will be in soon.” She parts with a smile, closing the door quietly behind her.

“How’re you feeling?” Harry asks, his hands immediately dropping to cradle my belly. Of course, the baby starts to move around just as he does, bringing a wide smile to his face.

“Fine,” I answer. “We’ve been good.”

“I feel like the bump’s gotten bigger even since the last time I saw you.” I nod. “Definitely has. Little Bean’s gonna start getting big pretty fast now.” “Lunch at mine after this?” he asks. “Jeff wants to meet with you.”

“That doesn’t sound ominous at all,” I huff.

“Nothing scary, love,” Harry promises. His thumbs are making little circuits where they’re still pressed to my stomach, and it’s actually quite soothing. The couple weeks we spent apart kind of cooled down my attraction to him, but standing here now, looking at his way too pretty face and inhaling his entirely too delicious scent and listening to his way too silky voice, I’m gone. I fucking hate myself for it, too. “Just wants to make sure you’re okay with the legal arrangements he’s made and maybe talk about how we’re gonna let this information out.”

“You’re ready to do that?” I ask. I don’t really care too much at this point about how or when the world finds out Harry Styles is having a child, but it’s more pertinent to Harry’s career and I want to him to be one hundred percent ready.

“We’ve only got ten or less weeks left, Mick,” he sighs. “If I just show up one day with a baby, there’s gonna be a lot more problems than if everyone finds out beforehand. And I’m not gonna hide this. My family comes before my career.”

As I look at him, I can see the sincerity in his face. As much as this whole thing can potentially harm his career, I can clearly see he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he had to cast of his child as if they meant anything less than the world to him. No matter how suddenly he got thrust into this just a few weeks ago, Harry is here and more than ready to take on the responsibility of being the best father he can be, because family really is the most important thing to him. I take a deep breath and nod. “Alright. If you’re okay with it, Harry.”

“Are you okay with it?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m okay with it,” I assure. “Promise.”

Harry slides his hands so his arms are around my waist and pulls me into him. “It’ll all be okay. We’ll make it work.” His lips press gently to my forehead just as there’s a few taps on the exam room door.

Dr. Lorenz pokes his head in with a smile. “Hope I’m not interrupting anything.” My Ob/Gyn is quite possibly one of the most attractive doctors I have ever personally seen. Grey’s Anatomy aside, this man is just overall really attractive, with his dirty blonde hair and bright blue eyes and broad shoulders. He’s a bit too All-American for me (and I did discover he played football in high school and undergrad during one of my earlier appointments) but I can admit that he’s attractive. He’s not married, as well, which means all the nurses and MAs in the office are quite smitten with him. I’ve never known him to be anything but professional, though.

I shake my head with a smile as Harry and I slowly untangle from each other. “Not at all. Hi, Dr. Lorenz.”

“Good afternoon, Micky.” He comes in and closes the door behind him, my chart in the crook of his arms. If he’s surprised by Harry’s presence, he doesn’t show it. As the MA from earlier said, they deal with celebrities pretty often.

I slide myself up onto the table with Harry’s assistance, since I’m not exactly the most agile anymore, which is pretty annoying. Once I get situated, I make introductions.

“Dr. Lorenz, this is the baby’s father, Harry. Harry, this is my Ob/Gyn.”

The two men shake hands, both with pretty smiles and kind nods of acknowledgment.

“Good to meet you, Harry.”

“You, too,” he reciprocates.

“Well, have a seat. Micky, I’m gonna have you lay back and pull your shirt up for me and we’ll talk a little bit as I’m taking measurements.”

Both Harry and I do as instructed, and Dr. Lorenz goes about setting up the sonogram machine. He warns me about the cold gel before applying some to my stomach. I turn my head to see Harry obsessively pulling at his bottom lip, eyes flicking between the monitor and my belly. I reach over and grab at his hand, holding it hostage in mine against my chest so he stops abusing his poor mouth.

“Stop fidgeting,” I tease as the doctor presses the transducer to my stomach. Nearly immediately, the rhythmic whooshing sound of our baby’s heartbeat fills the room as the grainy black and white image manifests on screen.

“Nice strong heartbeat still,” Dr. Lorenz comments with a smile, eyes scanning over the image as he moves the wand around. “Quite active, too.”

“Yeah, she’s been pretty nonstop, lately,” I acknowledge.

“That’s normal,” he assures, eyes flicking to Harry and me. “She’s still got room, so she’s using it to her advantage while she can. In a couple weeks, there won’t be a whole lot of space left in there. You’ll be able to see the movement on the outside of your body when that happens. Fair warning.”

I look back to Harry again and see he’s now got his bottom lip firmly held between his teeth, a soft look in his eyes.

“You okay?” I ask quietly, giving his hand a squeeze to get his attention.

He startles a bit but looks at me, his lips pulling up into a small smile. “That’s our baby.” He sounds so in awe, his eyes moving back to the screen to watch as different images of her pop up as the doctor moves around.

I can’t help the smile that pops onto my face. “Yeah, that’s our baby.”

“Everything’s looking good,” Dr. Lorenz comments. “I’ve taken a few photos, so I’ll have the nurse print out however many you guys want. Do you have any questions?”

Harry asks a few that I could have answered for him, but I’m sure he likes hearing it from the professional, so I just sit back as the two men speak. They chat a bit about when it’s safe for the baby to be born and then there’s a discussion of where we plan to have the baby. I break in to say that I’ve already registered to have the baby at the local hospital, but I can see the wheels in Harry’s head turning, making some sort of plans, I’m sure. I’ll have to ask him about it later.

Dr. Lorenz also asks if I’ve looked into any birthing classes, and when I answer in the negative, he strongly suggests that I do that as soon as possible. I fully intend on getting an epidural when it’s time to give birth, but he says that birthing plans are never set in stone, that we all just have to play along to whatever the baby wants, and sometimes they can have plans that don’t line up with ours. Harry assures him that we’ll look into it, and I can already tell that this is going to be something Harry participates in and wants to experience, not that I’m going to deny him the opportunity.

Harry helps me clean off the gel from my stomach as Dr. Lorenz says goodbye and gives me a reminder to make my next appointment for a month out. Harry’s instantly on his work phone, looking at his schedule to make sure there’s a date at the end of March when he can come with me again.

“I’m supposed to be flying back that last Wednesday in March, but I can rearrange it for the day before,” he tells me as I slide off the table.

“Where are you going?” I ask casually, pulling my purse over my shoulder.

“London again,” he says. “Got some…stuff to do.” There’s a weird pause in his speech that I narrow my eyes at.

“What are you doing, Styles?” I question, instantly suspicious. He’s never held back in talking to me about the business side of his life. Hell, I knew about the hiatus back in August. I essentially knew his whole schedule for the rest of 2015 back then. He’s going to hold back on me now?

He groans. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I really can’t say, Mick. Just got some work stuff to deal with. I promise to tell you as soon as I can. You’ll be the first to know.”

I glare at him for a moment longer before relenting. “Fine. I expect full details, though.”

“Promise,” he says with a smile. He throws an arm around my shoulder and pulls me toward the door. “Come on, Jeff’s already at the house.”

Pulling up to Harry’s Beverly Hills home is a little bit of a trip. There’s a ton of windows and all the white is really crisp and bright in the shining sun of the California summer day. There’s a gate a little ways from the house that blocks the street from the driveway, and Harry punches in some numbers at a little panel to get it to open. There’s a couple cars in the driveway, including Harry’s Mercedes and a sleek silver car that I’m sure costs more than the worth of my entire wardrobe.

“Glenne’s probably here, too,” Harry tells me as he puts the car in park.

“Who’s Glenne?” I ask. I’ve apparently removed myself from the fandom for a little too long now. I’m sure a whole lot of other people know who this Glenne person is.

“Jeff’s girlfriend. Good friend of mine, too,” he tells me. He hops out of the car and hurries around to get my door. He takes my hand and helps me down, keeping a hand around my waist as we walk up to his front door. “Got pizza. Hope you’re okay with that.”

“Sounds great. Trev makes me eat way too healthy all damn the time. Haven’t had pizza in months.”

Harry chuckles as his hand rubs along my belly, opening the front door.

“Harry?” a male voice calls, very obviously American.

“Yeah, mate,” Harry answers, kicking his shoes off at the front door. I follow along, not wanting to dirty what looks like freshly polished hardwood floors. “Pizza come yet?”

“Just got here before you did.” There’s a pattering of feet against the floor, getting closer to where Harry’s helping me out of my jacket. A man that I vaguely recognize from photos I’ve seen rounds the corner, a smile popping on his face when he sees me. “You must be Micky.”

“Yeah,” I nod, accepting his outstretched hand. “You must be Jeff.”

“That’s me,” he agrees. “Let’s go eat and we’ll chat about what I’ve got planned. Nothing too intense, alright? I’ve just got Harry’s and the baby’s best interests in mind.”

“Then we’re on the same page.”

I’m introduced to Glenne, who’s sat in the kitchen at a stool that’s perched at the island. She’s very pretty, just as I always knew she was, even when I didn’t know her name. She smiles kindly at me and even coos a little bit over my belly right before complimenting me on the shirt I’m wearing. I like her immediately, just as I can see myself liking Jeff, and I realize why Harry’s kept them around fro so long and made Jeff his manager.

Harry gets plates out for us and takes drink orders as we serve ourselves. He suggests moving to his kitchen table so we’re not all leaning over each other to speak like we would be at the island. Harry pulls my chair out for me and pushes it in once I sit, and I don’t know why I’m still so astounded by his manners. I should be used to it by now, but no other man in my life has ever done things like open my car door, pull out my chair, or take off my jacket for me. I’m extremely proud that Little Bean will be growing up with Harry as her example of how a man should treat a woman.

“So, Harry’s told us the basics about you,” Jeff starts after swallowing a bite of is food.

Glenne scoffs. “More like gushed about you every chance he got when he met you.” She shoots Harry a teasing smile, to which he glares back.

“I was gonna leave that part out of it,” Jeff chuckles. “Anyway, you seem lovely, and Harry says he trusts you, so I’m inclined to trust you, as well. All this legal stuff is just to make sure nothing gets messy in the future more than anything else. Parenthood is hard enough as it is; it’s got to be even harder when the parents are no longer together and one has a very public career.”

He goes onto explain that the things he’s done are just to ensure that Harry gets a say in his daughter’s life and that he is her biological father. He says that a paternity test has to be done for any of this to really have meaning, which I agree to once the baby is born, since I’m not getting stuck with a needle right now. Jeff says that as long as Harry and I can decide on custody arrangements between the two of us, nothing has to be taken to court.

“You’ll also be getting child support from Harry monthly once the baby is born,” Jeff adds casually. “That will just be between you two as well, otherwise it can get messy in court for no reason.”

I shake my head immediately. “I don’t need money from him. That’s the last thing I want, actually.”

“Please, love,” Harry pleads, grabbing my hand with his. “I’m gonna be there as much as I can, but we all know I’m never gonna be Little Bean’s primary parent. I can’t be. I hate that I can’t be, and I’d change it if I could, but it would make me feel better knowing neither one of you ever needed for anything. The hospital pays you well, but babies are expensive.”

The pout in his lip broke me even before his pleas did, so I sigh in resignation and squeeze his hand. “Fine, but nothing crazy, alright. I know child support is usually a percentage of the parent’s income, but that’s ridiculous.”

“We can work on it,” Jeff assures.

“Alright, no more legal stuff,” Glenne announces. “I want to see those sonogram pictures I know you got today.”

THIRTY-ONE

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #No Control #one direction #dad!harry #harry styles fanfic

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mercurialsmile · 7 years

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Lanx Reviews: Captive Prince

I’m late to the party, but I always am.

I haven’t really ever blogged about a book or anything before, so this is new and will be rambly and I am not that sorry for that at all.

Anyways! This review will be broken up into sections. I’ll try to leave spoilers out as best I can, but there may be minor ones. Hooray for organization!

Some personal notes:

I learned about this book through tumblr, of course. I believe I saw fanart on my dash and figured it was a book series pretty fast, though at the time I had no interest in it at all. Then, when searching for books I wanted to read, I randomly remembered it. My good friend and dear Angel recommended it to me so I bought only the first book, just in case I didn’t like it.

I want to note here that my relationship with fantasy is... complicated. It’s one of my favorite genres, yet I have a HUGE hatred for the way fantasy books are often presented. Some of the top books I hate and couldn’t get through to save my life are fantasy. The fact that I was able to actually get through this book is impressive enough on its own considering how leery I am towards a lot of fantasy books. This is a good thing!

I do wanna note I read books one of two ways usually; I read the entire thing in one sitting or I put the book down and never pick it back up again. Captive Prince is a rare anomaly in which I put it down and actually did pick it back up. And by “put it down” concerning CP, I mean literally put it down. Like I had to go do chores and afterward didn’t feel like reading and just kinda forgot I was reading it. That being said, I did remember what happened in the book and it was memorable for me which is a good thing. A huge thing of mine is the fact that I have a strong belief that truly good books should leave an impact and be memorable. This isn’t always true, but I personally find it to be an important facet on what makes a book “good.”

So, was it good in my opinion?

Plot:

The plot is actually decently simple and straightforward, something I automatically took a liking too. So many fantasy books try and go for long, entwined, complicated plots, which can end up getting tiring and make the book a bore to read. To little happening in too much time with a sense that you’re going nowhere. Captive Prince does well as it sticks to its pretty straightforward plot but does it tactfully and lets the nature of politics make things seem and feel more complicated than they really are when you take a step back.

Basically, the prince of the kingdom Akielos (Damen) is shipped off as a slave as part of a peace treaty and a gift to the prince of Vere (Laurent) by his own bastard brother who wants the crown. He is believed to be dead. He wants to get back home to fix his kingdom.

That’s basically what’s on the back of the book. It quickly gets more complicated than that, but pretty much everything plot-related in this book is related to that. There is very little in the way of unconnected subplots that aren’t related to character relationships and arcs. As such, it makes following Captive Prince easy and makes it a pretty easy read (Note: It’s still an adult/mature book). This is refreshing to me. Plus, I really haven’t read too much of this trope, if at all, so that just sweetens it for me further.

The only thing I can say kinda ill about it is that on the back of the book, it mentions Damen and Laurent having to work together. This... doesn’t really happen. They start working together at like... the last couple pages of the book. I felt the back of the book exaggerated how “well” Damen and Laurent “work together” and didn’t appreciate that.

Overall, though, I found the plot enjoyable, easy to read and comprehend for the most part, and interesting.

Characters: I’m going to focus on the main characters here.

Damen is the view you as the reader read from. He is wonderful. I really adored Damen a lot. He was relatable in a number of ways at least to me (Not too good at politics, not the smartest person in the book) and you really do feel for him. He is quite the honorable man and, at least in my opinion, has a lot of inner charm. He is mostly a fighter and I also enjoyed how humble he was overall without letting himself being completely walked all over.

Laurent, on the other hand, is harder for me to place. I hated him throughout the middle of the book. Cold, cruel, a complete and utter spoiled brat, and infuriating at times as it felt like he always escaped karma. Every time I thought I was warming up to him, he did/said something that just made me go right back to hating him. As of the end of CP, I can honestly say I do not want these two characters to end up together. However, the very last pages of CP did give me some hope to like his character in the second book, so I am willing to give him more chances. My main issues with his character is that he’s a spoiled brat and thinks he’s better than everyone. I generally hate people who are like this due to my own life experiences so Laurent hit a nerve and left a bad taste in my mouth. Still, I do hope I will like him in the future.

Regarding the main characters, I did feel they were complicated and they were both interesting to read. Besides during the middle of the book, I enjoyed how they played off one another.

As for the side characters... I also liked them. Or at least, some of them. Besides Damen, it’s very hard to like certain characters of this book due to spoiler reasons I can’t get into. Though I felt the side characters fit in well, were needed, and I did like a couple of them, I can honestly say Damen is my favorite character. WHICH is a good thing! It seems like every book series I read nowadays has me liking the side characters more than the main character. Actually having the main character be my favorite character is so welcoming to me.

Setting: The setting matched the tone of the book perfectly. The setting wasn’t overly described as it is in many other fantasy books to the point where the story lags, but there is enough description to get the point across. In a couple of places, it was kinda hard for me to envision what was going on, but overall it wasn’t too distracting. I adored the way Vere was described in many ways.

The setting itself was pretty interesting I would say. A little standard for a fantasy setting, but it works perfectly with the story and characters. What really made Vere stand out to me was, of course, how free sexuality and sex was in general. I don’t wanna give too much away here, but overall I thought the setting was good. I also like how though the majority of the story stayed within one location, there was plenty of other things going on that the setting did not become boring at all.

Writing: The writing was quite exceptional. It was quite beautiful and poetic in some places. The style fit the mood and feel of the book very well. A few times I did find myself having to go back and reread parts, however, due to some awkward wording. Also. “Limpid blue eyes” (or something of this sort) reminded me of My Immortal and I had to put the book down to laugh for a good five minutes. But I think that’s just me being stupid then anything actually wrong.

Another small issue I had is that in a couple of places, certain things were worded to make a situation vague just so it can be revealed in like. The next chapter. I found this to be kinda weird and when this happened, the writing felt a little forced and awkward. However, everything else makes up for these couple of flubs.

Another thing I enjoyed is that nothing was over-described. The descriptions were just enough to paint a pretty picture, but left your imagination do most the word, which I appreciated a lot. A lot of books nowadays like to spend paragraphs just describing characters, including every muscle they have, their jaw shape, their nose shape, and all this other silly stuff. CP never did that, and it was refreshing.

Sex scenes:

I thought this deserved its own little section. There really aren’t too many, and none of them are detailed like you’ll find in your every day fanfiction if that’s what you’re gonna go off, but this book is drenched in sex. Despite that, it’s not nearly as vulgar as one would think and is done tactfully. Nothing is shown that isn’t important. Details are scant for the most part besides a couple here and there; just what’s important. Topics such as noncon/rape, pedophilia, and other power imbalances are treated as they should be. Not romanticized and not “prettied up” by the writing to make it any less than what is should be.

World building: One of the things I hate the most is info dumping world building. So many books do it and it’s so frustrating. Captive Prince doesn’t do that. Everything is slowly spoon-fed to you throughout the book when its important. CP is third person limited so you mainly just see what Damen sees, which is smart. Damen doesn’t know much about Vere either, so him questioning things, him asking questions, makes sense in the situation. The exposition is integrated very well.

The world itself is interesting. It’s pretty standard fantasy flair, but its done well. It’s not overwhelming like a lot of other fantasy books are. You know as much as you need to.

Also, the integration of why same-sex couples are popular in Vere is done amazingly well and makes sense. A lot of people on tumblr that I’ve seen, or just other people in general, like to stuff LGBT+ characters into their fantasy stories for diversity points, but don’t take a second to stop and think how same-sex couples being accepted/rejected would play into their world building or tie it in a way that makes sense. CP doesn’t have this issue and I especially enjoyed that aspect of the world.

Some final thoughts: One thing this book made me feel was angry. Mainly for how Damen was treated. He was beaten down a lot and at points I had to put it down, take a deep breath, before picking it back up. This is both a good and bad thing, though for me mostly bad because I dislike feeling frustrated by what I was reading to the point where I almost have to put the book down. I feel if CP had a couple more comical scenes put around, it would’ve helped in the middle. The author did eventually insert some comedy in the latter portions of the book to help balance out the treatment Damen faced, and that really did help, but I wish the same was done towards the middle of the book.

If you can’t stand main characters being beaten down a lot because you have a lot of empathy like me, you might not like or be able to finish this book. In that sense, I also found the book a little unbalanced due to that middle part.

Final Rating: 7/10, rounded up from 6.5/10

#lanx reviews captive prince #my reviews #long post #i finally got this done can you believe #this took longer than i would've liked tbh #ALSO when i say comedy i mean in the more dry and cynical sense #not like #fart jokes or stupid and silly shit like that

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