#Automata II | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hexjulia · 9 months

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'So, I conclude, the Greeks did believe in their robots. Automata had mythic precedents and the rudiments of a mechanical explanation working in their favor; finally, they answered serious questions of a political and economic order. They were the kind of objects that a culture could invent to explain itself to itself, and that it could use to express its utopian wishes. Why, then, did these wishes come true in a way that jarred utterly with what a reader of Aristotle, or indeed anyone who had seen the Therioi, would have expected?

In the Hellenistic period and after, when the science of mechanics had developed a working knowledge of gearing, pneumatics and leverage that permitted the construction of working automata, the technical know-how that might have gone towards creating Aristotle’s animated tools appears to have gone instead towards orchestrating impressive parade floats. Here is one early instance, from the reign of Ptolemy II: There followed a statue of Nysa…that stood up by a mechanism, without anyone touching her, and, having poured out milk from a golden phial, sat down again. In her left hand it held a thyrsus adorned with ribbons. And she was crowned with ivy made of gold and with grape clusters made from gemstones. If a robot like this could do useful symbolic work, it hardly fulfilled the revolutionary promise of the automata envisioned by Crates and Aristotle. Automata were to become, instead a standard element in the apparatus of Hellenistic rule. These were thaumata indeed, designed, like their predecessors the puppet theatres, solely to impress. Another Veynian concept, this time one with which I have no quibbles: these automata were part of the apparat of Hellenistic kingship, one of those trappings of power that did nothing, that only communicated the cold “facts” of power relations.

In this narrative, everything happens as if the “realization” of robotics had thrown cold water on a tradition of wild speculation about the possibilities embodied in a technological advance that had been conceptualized but not yet achieved. I am skeptical of such an explanation for many reasons, but chiefly because it does not account for what we have seen was a decisive change in the political and class valence of automata—from liberators of slaves to tools for monarchical rule. What iron law of progress guarantees that a “disappointing” but real technology should become the property of kings, while the radical hopes expressed in science fiction should belong to the masses?

Actually, the reasons for this disappointment are exactly the ones that Marx foregrounded in his commentary on the Aristotle passage with which I began this essay. Anyone can own an imaginary robot—or, I suppose, in Marx’s terms, an imaginary steam-powered loom—but, when it comes to building the real thing, technology follows capital, or power, to use a less anachronistic and more general term. Machines that could liberate if they were common property become, in the hands of a few, new tools for subjection. The Greeks’ faith in their robots was betrayed by this iron law of economics: technological development tends to magnify, rather than repair, the structural inequalities inherent in a given mode of production. Then, as in Marx’s day and now, there were no magic—or mechanistic—bullets for fixing problems of a social order. To say, as Aristotle said, that the only escape from slavery was technological was just the same as claiming—which Aristotle did, notoriously, elsewhere—that slavery was natural, and bound to endure forever.

So the explanation advanced by Vernant, Finley, and all the rest for classical antiquity’s “technological stagnation” can be reframed, and reposed, in a way that brings it closer to the truth. In this instance, the social relations produced by an economy based on slavery provided the raw materials for the development in the Athenian cultural imaginary of a piece of technology, the automaton. But this technological advance could only be realized with the help of capital that had been accumulated precisely by individuals and groups exploiting social relations of enslavement. It was, then, necessarily going to be realized in a “disappointing” form—certainly not in a form that could radically disrupt those social relations, as Aristotle had imagined it doing. The easy availability of slave labor was not what blocked technological development along such lines. The interest of a slave-based economy in its own preservation simply dictated that technologies as expensive and craft-intensive as automation were not going to be used in a revolutionary way.'

worth reading the entire thing imo!

#i dont know if i agree with everything he's saying and either way im not qualified to disagree or agree TBQH. but very interesting #more Qualified Mutuals i would love your opinions on this

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irregularjohnnywiggins · 1 year

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talk about iron will's importance. now

Iron Will's importance to the series is kinda threefold, tbh.

On one level, it's clearly a reference to the Dragonslayer of Berserk fame, and therefore one of Taro's clear inspirations for especially the first Drakengard, where it appears as Hymir's Finger*.

Consequently, it's also tied in to Caim as the 'discount Guts' of the Drakenier universe***, which is extremely important to the events of Nier. See, I may be wrong about this, but aside from the Nameless Blade you get at the start, Iron Will is I think the only weapon the game... gives you? Like, there's weapons you get in the course of the story, but Iron Will is the only weapon the game itself hands you in a cutscene, and as such is kinda... by necessity relevant? Like, active thought had to go into handing you that sword at that point in the story, and considering that this is very early into Act II of the game, where our protagonist takes a darker turn along with the rest of the story... well, I may be too far up Mr. Yoko's thematical backside (please see next paragraph for evidence of that), but... I don't think it's an accident that you get given a weapon so closely associated with Caim at this point in the story, especially when the conversation immediately following Iron Will's completion ends with Nier resolving to help Gideon's mad quest for revenge purely because he gets to kill a single Shade at the end of it.

On a level deeper than even that load of nonsense, the evolution of the Iron Will as a weapon kinda mirrors the evolution of the series itself? As presented in Drakengard 1, the weapon story is about the weight of death, with the unsettling implication at the end that perhaps the sword has found a wielder who is unconcerned with death, a perfect microcosm of Taro's then-philosophy of 'you have to be pretty fucked up to kill people'. This evolves down to Nier, where the sword begins by boasting of the people it kills, but in the final part of the story admits that it dreams of things beyond its status as a weapon of slaughter. Then Drakengard 3 portrays it as a thing that despises its own existence as a weapon, consumed by bloodshed and longing for something it cannot have - kinda like Zero, eh? And finally**** Nier Automata, where the Iron Will is rusted, useless and abandoned, but dug up regardless to engage in unceasing pointless war, over and over again. That's the inherent advantage of the Iron Will, I think - it allows Taro to present the theme of the games in microcosm, because the weapon itself does not need more explanation than 'Dragonslayer at Home'.

Soo... yeah. I think the Iron Will is really important to the themes of Drakenier, and I'm really exited to kill all of humanity wielding it this time around the Replicant train.

*whose name, incidentally, plays into the 'reverse religious morality' thing that Drakengard 1 has going on thematically - in much the same way that the final two routes are the literal Red Dragon of the Book of Revelations fighting the literal angels of heaven alongside a man named after a literal demon, you do it wielding a sword named after what might be interpreted as either the creator god or the father of evil from Norse Mythology.**

**Which, in a weird way, also plays back into the Berserk influence - Guts in that series is fighting against something called The God-Hand, after all, but we're not here to get into Berserk right now.

***I don't know for sure if it's the sword Caim uses in Drakengard 2 - looking at the video of his arrival now I can't tell if it's Broken Iron or his own personal sword - but honestly it feels like it should be Broken Iron, so I'm counting it.

****I know what the DOD2 and Reincarnation stories say, but Drakengard 2's is about as bland as everything else about that game, and Reincarnation has the inherent problem of being a LiiiiVe SeeeRvICE, so you can't easily sum up the themes of every single story in it.

#nier #drakengard #drakenier #nier replicant #nier automata #drakengard 3 #iron will #yoko taro #my deepest apologies if this came off as incoherent and rambling #my abyssal apologies if it didn't #I just... really like the themes of Drakenier #it's really special to me

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the-afronick · 5 months

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Normally I like to tally up everything I've beaten on an annual basis but I've been lacking the last two years, so this is three years' worth of finished games: 2021-2023. Also been lacking in finishing stuff until the last third of this year but I think I've got the swing of things again. There are other games finished/completed I've chosen to not count here as they were simply different ports of games I've already done before, but I'm still counting MW1 Remastered to make it a nice even 50.

Since this is all getting typed up right now in one afternoon, enjoy some quick thoughts on each of these.

Finished

Yakuza Kiwami (2017) - Yeah it still feels like a weird version of the immaculate Yakuza 0. I'm not the authority on these but I'm unsure if I'd recommend this over the PS2 game to someone who is willing to play the original.

Call of Duty: Black Ops II (2012) - I liked the split campaigns, though moreso the 80s one. Probably need to play Arma 1 or Reforger to satisfy that Cold War craving now that '83 is canned.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Remastered (2016) - I think I got this with Infinite Warfare off of a keysite primarily to use this remaster as an excuse to replay CoD4. Still enjoyed it and really ended up liking the enhanced visuals/touch-ups in animations. 2007 is still fine to play but this was a fun detour. I want to try the Wii version at some point.

Death Stranding (2019) - A game I was way more curious about its story than I was its gameplay pre-release ended up being enjoyed the other way around. I loved Hiking Simulator 2019, cresting peaks and sliding down into cities while some Low Roar kicks in... and everything about the environments as you head west are the greatest. I'm probably gonna get the PC version of Director's Cut to play it again at some point.

Shellshock: Nam '67 (2004) - What should be a simple arcade third-person shooter ends up being frustrating because reticle bloom is way too much for some of the engagement distances. Not the worst I've ever played but I'm probably not going back to it ever.

Thunder Force AC (1990/2020 Sega AGES release) - I mean I like Thunder Force IV more but hey III's pretty good, and so is its arcade version.

Vietcong (2003) - Originally recommended to me by a friend and I kick myself for not getting to it sooner. Fun, tense campaign of having to take caution every with every move, guns felt great, and overall I had a good time. Regrettably couldn't play the online but ah well.

Postal 2: Paradise Lost (2015) - More of what I remember from playing Postal 2. It's still silly.

Touhou Youyoumu ~ Perfect Cherry Blossom (2003) - This is the one. Yeah, 6 gets the recognition because it's the reboot and has the top-tiered fan favorite characters but 7 takes the wrinkles of 6 and irons them out to a fine crispness. Good patterns, good bosses, and good music. I have no complaints. Want to play a Touhou game? This one.

Touhou Reiiden ~ The Highly Responsive to Prayers (1997) - I first played this at an anime convention in a hotel room full of Touhou cosplayers on their laptop they had hooked up to their TV, mainly wanting to show off where it all started. Touhou's kinda fun as a Breakout game, but this is more of a curiosity than anything nowadays.

Ninja Gaiden (1988) - My second favorite Castlevania game, but man FUCK Act 6.

NieR Replicant ver.1.22474487139... (2021) - I mean what else can be said that hasn't already. It's nice that Nier 1 got a revisit after Automata set the world on fire and even though this didn't do its numbers, I missed my friends :)

U.N. Squadron (1990) - Glorious. The SNES/SFC version offers a fantastic and better conversion from the arcade game allowing for choice in mission order and choice in plane selection (though the YF-23 and F200 are effectively the only way to win) to work in tandem with your pilot's unique skill. Not particularly a great adaptation from Area 88 if you're looking for its story and characters but that's not what this game is aiming for - instead, it takes the elements that would work in a shooter and only those elements. You're mercenaries so money is the key to everything, mainly your weapons loadout. There are large superweapons, some taken straight from the manga. The only downside is the grinding element to get more money for better planes in the form of a strafing run special stage that you'll have to play over and over. Highly recommend.

IKUSAAAAAAAN! (2018) - I actually can't comment too much on this one since I only played it through once but it was fun and highly energetic, and Iku is my second fave 2hu so that's a plus.

Halo: Fireteam Raven (2018) - "hey let's play this since we're all together and it's a Saturday night which means bad co-op game night but now IRL!" (moments before friend temporarily lost their wallet.) We finished the fight, but at what cost? About $20 and an hour.

F-Zero X (1997) - Everyone likes GX (and you should) but I like to describe X as the first five feet of stairs on the difficulty curve of F-Zero. You absolutely can lift yourself up those missing steps but wouldn't it be better to ease your way on up? Very fast and grippy compared to SNES F-Zero. I also like the rock/metal soundtrack as opposed to GX's industrial (which again, still good, just not as good). Dream Chaser the greatest. Also that arranged music album is killer.

Project Wingman (2020) - Did you like Ace Combat Zero? Of course you did. Here you go, have some more. It's kinda weird how even with the option to bring in multiple types of special weapons, the strongest thing you're armed with are your normal-ass machine guns.

Neo Contra (2004) - The Shock Troopers 3 we deserved. All I have to do to sell you on this is show you the opening to the one stage where Bill and Jaguar are running on top of helicopter blades.

Udongein X (2021) - There are a surprising amount of Mega Man-inspired Touhou fangames out there to the point where they can be divided into inspired by classic series and X amongst others (maybe there's a Battle Network one too?) This is the latter and since it felt most like MMX1 to me, I liked it a lot.

Dimension Tripper Neptune: TOP NEP (2022) - Welcome to the Fantasy nep Zone.

Mega Man 8 (1996) - I hate this fuckin game.

Made Man (2006) - Frustrating. I was expecting a mafia clone of Max Payne but instead it's a cover-shooter with the most mediocre gunplay and braindead AI I've seen in a while. Also the bullet time only activates once you fill the meter and upon manual-deactivation, you lose all of the remainder. Kind of a shame too because some of the setpieces are fun (one of my favorites being a gunfight in the rafters above a rock concert at Madison Square Garden) but it just sucks otherwise. The main voice actor, Rick Pasqualone, does too good of a job for this game when everyone else is phoning it in and I'm glad he got a second shot in a better game as Vito from Mafia II.

P-47 Aces (1995) - Recommended by my friend @bizarredawdler. I got my ass beat.

Carrier Air Wing (1990) - If you liked the arcade version of U.N. Squadron specifically, this is more of the same. Not as good but hey, dogfighting the space shuttle isn't something you do everyday.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder's Revenge (2022) - This was fun, and probably the first beat'em up that I began to understand rather than just fumble my way through. Would like to do a co-op run with friends at some point. Played as Donatello, he seems cool.

Freedom Planet 2 (2022) - My GOTY 2022. Despite my teasing in numerous late night calls that this was one of those games where the slightest inconvenience resulted in a delay, I can honestly say my expectations were met, exceeded, and blown away. Enjoyed Freedom Planet 1 a lot back in 2015 and while originally hesitant that the artstyle change would bring a gameplay change, all of that faded away when that first demo came out. It's still just as fast and hard-hitting as the first one if not moreso. The reworks to each characters' movesets are nice. Neera is a great additional player character. God I wish someone could get these homebrew'd onto a Saturn because that's the only way this could get more perfect. My one (1) complaint is now Classic Mode being locked behind beating Story Mode once which, while I like the cutscenes and characters, makes it a little harder to recommend to people who just want the pure gameplay that you could immediately access in 1. That's the only thing I'd change.

Panzer Dragoon: Remake (2020) - It sure is Panzer Dragoon 1 but prettier, but oh boy I would not recommend it for full-price precisely because it is Panzer Dragoon 1 with all of its under-an-hour length intact. There's an achievement for playing it for 100 hours... also one for dying once. Don't have either!

Drainus (2022) - Team Ladybug caught my eye and captured my heart with Touhou Luna Nights, and ever since then I'm on board with whatever they've thrown at me. I still haven't finished Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth but I did play this, which was a pretty fun, if not easy STG. Looks nice too!

Call of Duty: Black Ops III (2015) - God the campaign sucked except for one part (you know the one). If you get this, only get it because Zombies workshop support is still alive and well.

Halo 5: Guardians (2015) - I cannot, cannot, cannot stress enough how many times I said "Halo 4 did this better." An absolute goddamn slog of a singleplayer with a dumbass story. The teammate AI will not save you or will kill themselves trying to save you despite the game being designed around squad mechanics. Halo's never been good at boss fights, so here have the same one over and over and now there's three of him hahahaha! I hear "multiplayer is good though!" sure it might be, wouldn't know, don't really care to know.

Dolphin Blue (2003) - Neat little run and gun. Liked the 2D sprites on 3D backgrounds here, very vibrant.

Demonizer (2020) - Neat little shooter, though it does punish you harsher later on for taking hits and losing your allies. One of those if you mess up late you might as well restart.

Ace Combat: Joint Assault (2010) - I really enjoyed Skies of Deception, the other PSP Ace Combat. This one is not that, dropping the Strangereal setting for our own and going with a plot involving insurance CEOs I think. Back to linear mission structure, no choosing the order. Could not play the Joint missions in which you and friends tackle operations at the same time affecting one another which is this game's entire gimmick. I don't remember any of the original music but there are plenty of AC2/3 tracks here which are good.

Demon Front (2002) - Kinda hard run and gun, though it's something I'll have to put more time into to get the groove of it. Otherwise, neat Metal Slug-inspired game! Recommended by a friend who I'm not sure wants to be named.

Raiden II (1993) - I like Raiden. Raiden II is more of that. Simple as.

Burnout (2001) - Another one of those games where you probably played a later one and went back only to discover there's kind of an idea here but it needs to get flushed out a little bit more. I started on this one back in the day and only finally got around to finishing, this time on the Xbox version. Not a whole lot going on here apart from being a standard AA racer of the time with a crash mechanic that's more discouraged than encouraged like its later entries. That AI rubberbanding isn't nearly as bad as NFS Underground 1's but it gets pretty bad. I don't regret playing this but I don't see myself going back, especially now having started 2 which is the ideal form of early Burnout.

Final Fantasy XIV Online: A Realm Reborn (2013) - After teasing my friend @thathomestar for years about it, I finally caved. I don't know MMOs or their systems or what makes for a good one, so I won't speak to its quality. I can make my catgirl fish so hell yeah.

Quake: Dimension of the Past (2016) - Where's the ammo? My gun needs more food!

Quake: Dimension of the Machine (2021) - Gameplay-wise it's more Quake which I love but holy shit do some of these levels look good.

8-Bit Commando (2011) - I thought this would be an okay Contra clone but instead it's subpar. I do like the verticality of your path, but it does feel more linear than it should be. Difficulty is easy even on Hard Mode. There's this weird thing where it'll upload replays of your gameplay as workshop items if you let it, so turn that off as soon as possible. Otherwise, you can't buy this anymore outside of keysites. Done to get footage of the dopefish in it.

Operation C (1991) - Quick, easy, but it is Contra, and nobody does it like Contra.

Contra III: The Alien Wars (1992) - Much like Super Castlevania IV, the jump to the Super Nintendo meant that Contra was gonna get a boost in just about every aspect... and much like Castlevania, I still prefer the original NES game to its SNES sequel. That said, I do think Contra III comes out ahead of CV4 with the amount of cool moments that happen, and abilities like locking the aim direction or standing in place and rotating your angle of shooting are accounted for in the increased difficulty. Very cool title, but personally not my favorite.

The Citadel (2020) - This is a fascinating game. While riding the retro-FPS wave, it still includes mechanics from modern shooters like bullet drop, travel time, weapon condition, hunger(?), full-body awareness (even as sprites!), and so on. Levels are really monochromatic. Very bloody and loud when it gets violent, and boy howdy does it get violent. And yet, there's this certain bleak serenity during level exploration that I haven't felt in a while. Looking forward to the sequel.

Castlevania: The Adventure (1989) - You know what? "Battle of the Holy" isn't just a good song, it's good even by Castlevania standards. And that's about the only good thing I can say about this dull game. I'll have to play ReBirth at some point.

Castlevania II: Belmont's Revenge (1991) - Better, but I'd rather be playing something else.

Risk of Rain 2 (2020) - This is cheating since I've only seen credits twice or three times, and I normally don't do the roguelikes so again I won't speak too much to it, but I like this one. I've had a fun time alone but it's definitely a lot of fun with friends, and I hope we can come back to it.

Kid Dracula (1990) - What if Castlevania was Mega Man? is my clickbait attention grabber, but also a pretty apt description. It's easy apart from this one railcart section which I felt like I got through on sheer luck than anything else. Still enjoyable.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (1992/2021 Absolute Version) - I've never actually beaten Sonic 2 legit, half from getting pissed off by the special stages and half because I get bored by the time Oil Ocean rolls around. Now that the special stages are actually in 3D and have a draw distance, I finally was able to get through and grab all Chaos Emeralds for the first time without save states or sound test cheat codes. And I was finally able to appreciate just how good Sonic 2 is once that weight was lifted. The levels are fun and a vast improvement over Sonic 1's, and the 2-Act structure works a lot better for pacing. And during the final boss, doing it legit gave a level of pressure that a final boss should rather than turning on debug mode and spamming rings to help out. I think I can go beat this even more legit on my Genesis without the modern assists, but it is thanks to this version that I gained the confidence to do so. Just needed a little help up is all.

Sonic Triple Trouble 16-Bit (2022) - I had a big old dumb smile on my face the entire time.

Sonic After the Sequel (2013/2017 DX version) - I enjoyed this one too. A bit more lengthy due to a four-act structure per zone and the special stages are slightly more miss than hit for me, but it all worked out in the end. The true final boss had my friends and I laughing.

That's all. I'm gonna try to finish up a couple more Sonic games in the new year and also try to beat the Burnout series, with some other stuff along the way.

#year in summary

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mcalhenwrites · 2 months

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Geckos, Automata chapter titles (04/18/2024)

A few of the ones toward the end, I'm likely to change before publication, if I can come up with something better. Some of them were already changed from the last time I shared a list of the chapter titles. I: Blink Once for Yes, Twice for No II: The World is Very Bad, Actually III: The Sandwich Thief Strikes Again IV: The Gecko Factory V: Uninvited Traveling Ghost Hunter VI: It's Tokay to Cry VII: Let Sleeping Babies Lie Through their Teeth VIII: The Dead [Hopefully] Don't Pose Much Risk IX: The Ghost Observer X: The Automaton Who Loved Geckos XI: The Crack of the Last Lightning Bolt XII: No Personal Space from Ghosts, Not Even for the Rich XIII: Gay Mad Professors who were Meant for Each Other, A Love Story XIV: The Post-Apocalyptic Scavenger XV: Friends in Metal Places XVI: Papa Automaton XVII: A Lightning Storm Without Forest Fires XVIII: Mother, Stay a While XIX: A Bored Game XX: We Can't All Talk to the Dead XXI: The Honorable Papa XXII: The Necropolis No-Longer-Public Library XXIII: The Bad Mother XXIV: Growing Paints XXV: The Same as Four Years Ago * XXVI: Home Sweet Automata XXVII: When Idiots Make Plans XXVIII: A Desert Deserted City XXIX: The Power of Necromancers * XXX: The Second Upheaval XXXI: Kill That Doll with Fire XXXII: Wrath and Resolution * XXXIII: Don't Cry, My Automaton XXXIV: The World is Still Shit XXXV: Goodbye Rosalia * XXXVI: A Hero's Bed * XXXVII: A Heart, A Soul, and a Home * indicates the ones I'd really like to change potentially...

#Geckos Automata

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theballmighty · 2 months

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Strive fans posting about BlazBlue designs being horny (derogatory), Kotaku putting out another article about how Hades II is the kind of sexy we need right now. Yoko Taro saying Stellar Blade is better than Nier Automata isn’t real because Stellar Blade is for gooners and Nier Automata is a good game. It’s tiresome. It’s all so tiresome. “Safe horny” and ethical consumption of tits is so fuckin lame and stupid and fake.

#ofc there’s an actual discussion to be had about the tone and context as well as the intended audience whenever designers make something #intended to be seen as sexy but there’s so much pot calling the kettle black these days it sucks to even talk about

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iantimony · 5 months

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2023 year in review roundup

wow!! what a fucking year!!! goodbye and good riddance! happy first day of 2024!

this year i did 37 tuesdayposts! there were 53 tuesdays so that's about 70%! some of them were on fri/sat instead as shabbosposts but i think posting on tuesday or even monday does just work better for some fucking reason. maybe because friday and saturday are days that i am most likely to do New Activities for making/playing/watching/reading??? and so on monday or tuesday i can recap the just-finished weekend. shrug! we love tuesday so it's fine.

listening listened to all of twilight mirage and a little over half of partizan! shrieking shack podcast, just king things, well there's your problem, miscellaneous music (maneskin probably a notable winner in there)

reading a lot of little articles. a little tgcf. SO much fanfic. 'every heart a doorway' (bad). 'birthday of the world' le guin (good).

playing a little disco elysium. a little minecraft. a little nier automata. a little hadesgame. a LOT of pokemon go. and i got into magic the gathering this year!

watching a lot of youtube videos. so many gd youtube videos. evangelion, history of the world part ii, cunk on earth, vox machina animated series, cowboy bebop, first season of peaky blinders, the new tgcf donghua season!

making i did very little drawing/painting/illustration beyond life drawing a few times...however i was very prolific in crafting! i also theoretically made valentines gifts. i do not remember what they were tho lol.

fiber arts: i completed a big embroidery project (fermenting dregs album art hoodie), quantum shawl, mesh market bag, case for my knew laptop, finished that blue tank top even though i hate it, fixed the lining on my yellow knitted cowl, made a little knitted headphone top cover that i will probably redo differently, headband ear warmer for my roommate's mom, and FINALLY i just barely finished the scarf for my SO before the end of 2023!

print block carving: wristwatch print, gavelbocken holiday card print

misc/writing: some songxuexiao fencing au. some harrowhark abhorsen au. neocities website!

and so much pottery! this is all of it, barring the things i already gave away as presents before this photo (two pots and a little box and the little raven guy), but wow! that's so many fuckin object!

misc what a fucking year. some bad! had to file a big car insurance claim! got really sick while abroad and that persisted for a long fucking time! mini summer breakdown! some good stuff too - passed quantum mechanics FOREVER good fucking bye, did my first successful academic conference, finally started feeling better around the end of the year! learned my lesson: it's not fuckin worth stressing yourself to death over, and also i can't just Be At Home Aimlessly for months any more. it's bad for my mental health.

reviewing 2023 resolutions and goals --> I’d love to start writing again and play more horn but we’ll see i basically didn't do any creative writing at all this year barring a few lines of fanfic ideas (the abhorsen/tlt crossover one) HOWEVER i READ a lot of fanfic to marinate in and i played a LOT more french horn!! i joined the little youth orchestra which is like, uber goofy, but it means ive been playing on a regular basis again!

--> I also wanna listen to more weird music, and invest in actually owning some files, especially for some of the lesser-known bands and through bandcamp and stuff i spent all year meaning to do this and kept pushing it off so it rolls over into next year.

--> I really want to kind of dial those [unhealthy coping mechanisms] back again, focus more on existing in Reality and more in each moment, which hopefully will also help with some of the skin picking and other anxious habits that resurfaced. maybe more yoga, maybe re-establishing a meditation process lol lmao. nah. but definitely rolling it over into 2024.

--> I would love to think more about my fashion and how I present myself too, and work on making and tailoring more of my clothing in general actually not bad! basically zero tailoring but i did a pretty good job wearing some cute outfits.

--> I’ve been pretty good about being active so I’d like to keep that up, I still can’t do a pull-up but maybe this is the year! (lol) I should also start doing some minor exercises for my shitty arthritis toes to keep those okay once again: lol lmao. health issues had me really regress in some of my gains goals. plus side is toes are doin pretty normal.

--> a lot of last year was kind of a wash regarding research so I’m really looking forward to refocusing on that and really getting things moving. oh it moved! in a good way! i'm making good progress and hopefully i will keep that momentum going!

--> finally! I want to get back to tabletop! I miss doing it so much! it fell by the wayside for me because of how busy and overwhelmed I was, especially this past fall semester, but I want to start running and playing games with my pals again a little! i should have been putting these in playing as i went oops. the tabletop group i've run was a little fallow this year due to at least half of our group, including myself, not being in Tabletop Mood but we've played a lot of res arcana and other such games instead.

i had a few other resolutions in my digital planner on my ipad that didn't go in the writeup last year: namely, practice languages more (i did practice my mandarin a little but did not really learn any hebrew or korean unfortunately) and establish a non-software component of my research (nope, not in the cards, but i'm hoping to do something else this summer to let me get better with physical data/setups), and finishing the masters degree requirements (that will be the end of this upcoming spring semester), but overall i really did hit most of my resolutions and goals! even with being ill for a while! (except the finances. i am simply not looking at them <3)

2024 resolutions and goals

definitely some rollover! i will format this to hopefully be a little easier to respond to next year:

- get back on a regular workout schedule: swimming 1x a week, weights once or twice a week. would like to try and work towards my One Pullup goal again. would also be cool to try and work towards a hand/headstand. - try and be more mindful. i'm going to continue the grief therapy but also think about meditating more, doing more yoga, and so on. - there's a gallery on main street that solicits work from local artists for bimonthy themed exhibitions and i really want to submit at least one thing to it this year! the one due by end of january is themed 'florals', and the one two months after that is 'layers', so i'd really like to submit something to one of those. - more weird art! use that big canvas i bought in literally 2022! paint!!! - finally put together that travel journal from korea & japan (and also scrapbook-ify the papers i have leftover in a pile from that) - also, maybe do current scrapbook a little different? might need a new binder at the very least. - hang up that expensive quilt i bought in august - speaking of quilt: do some hand quilting, english paper piercing! i have so much fucking fabric! - find a new apartment to move into that hopefully won't suck! - try to secure some sort of summer internship or project that will let me develop some new skillsets that i might not be getting with my current research - finish the masters degree - write...a paper? for the work i just presented??? - keep tweaking neocities and make some more pages - keep track of recipes this year as well in my making section

i might start a little spreadsheet this year to keep better track of all my stuff because i really did Not want to go through all my separate listening and reading sections and extract what i liked the most, etc. this post required me to first back up a few extra early tuesdayposts from this year to dreamwidth, and then skim all of them to accumulate the above, and that was kinda a pain. and i love an excuse to start a new spreadsheet.

we did it! happy 2024! i don't think i have anything else to add to this wrapup but if i think of something i'll tack it into the upcoming Normal Tuesdaypost tomorrow! good job good night and good luck everyone!

#tuesdayposting

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