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hasdrubal-gisco · 1 month

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eurovision '24 semifinal 1 early review

content and spoiler warning for croatia, cyprus, ireland, lithuania, poland, serbia, ukraine, australia, azerbaijan, finland, iceland, luxembourg, moldova, portugal, slovenia, germany, sweden, united kingdom

croatia - it's not easy going first but this is a bad way to do it regardless. already the woke agenda has us singing about anxiety attacks. if you are prone to anxiety get off the stage and let real warriors conquer the hearts of evropa. "my presence fades to black" yeah i wish it would. qorban/10

cyprus - many have said this before but i think cypriots should launch missiles at ankara just to see what would happen. singer is very serbian looking with the ironed long hair, very 2008 romcom looking music video (complimentary), forgettable song, thus has got to be someone's niece. mid/10

ireland - thank you god for making our enemies this embarrassing. i just know she had a self harm tumblr blog in 2013. very sincerely sending this to eurovision is comparable in national humiliation to the treaties of trianon and versailles. 30 year old antisemitic pagan themlet/10

lithuania - this is nothing. lithuania/10

poland - kinda of a normal pop song, i can see myself hearing this on the radio while stuck at a red light. good to see a weird looking woman. jeszcze polska nie zginęła/10

serbia - #JUSTICE FOR BRESKVICA. zorja or zejna or breskvica would have mopped the floor with her. this will lose and it will deserve it, hopefully all the PZE jury members including sajsi will be executed in a public square. bad/10

ukraine - hate to say it but the loathsome ruthenians have once again sent a good contestant. if my last name was Shemaieva i would simply not use Heil as an artistic name. i can hardly believe i'm saying this but i think it would be better without the fat girl rapping. critical support for ruthenian autonomous oblast/10

australia - my opinion is colored by the fact that i was viewing the music video, which is a consistent two and a half minute face closeup of the white guy cumming. the song itself is not bad, but i could do without the white guy cumming, actually. australia gets a pass this year/10

azerbaijan - you can always count on the iranic people to sneak in subtle references to sun-worship. oldest trick in the book. considering this was the last song picked, this was maybe not worth the wait. don't want to doxx anyone but one of the backup dancers looks like a beloved tumblr user. eeh/10

finland - random xD WAFFLES. the "what does the fox say" candidate of the year, and of course its from the turbo-autistic finns. total opposite of tact and taste. the west has fallen to its far-easternmost asiatic enemy (the mongols (finns)). beyond repair/10

iceland - based for sending an older woman. this is pretty good, nothing much to add. will maybe listen to the icelandic version. top quartile/10

luxembourg - israeli broad with skinny arms singing in french ? *wiping the sweat from my brow*. finally something worthwhile out of europe's last grand duchy. am yisroel chai/10

moldova - pleasant surprise out of the illegitimate romanian province of moldova. dignified in an atmosphere where others have been deliberately embarrassing. not impaling anyone's heart/10

portugal - this is nothing. portugal would benefit from being brazil's european vassal state. meu curaçao :(/10

slovenia - the best of the three of this exact performer that we've seen, not that that's very high praise. eeh/10

germany - pleasant surprise in an otherwise very mid year. not the worst guderian i know. germany/10

sweden - i can feel the martin x marcus x reader spam in the tags already. usually they at least send something that's listenable under normal circumstances but not eurovision-material,but not even that this time around. as always, marg bar sweden/10

united kingdom - (watching the official music video) lol that's probably 4k/mo in london. nobody cares about the failstate of the united cringedom, they should have been excised from the contest when they left the eu. nice trainspotting references in the clip tho. bleh/10

final conclusion - overall very disappointing year, luxembourg stands in a separate category, even without the ethnonarcissism. germany, moldova, iceland, ukraine are okay but nothing to be thrilled about. the plague of appealing to jury votes at the cost of anything interesting is crushing this competition. seeing what got passed up in serbia instead of teya dora makes one wonder what the situation is like in other countries. help me, zejna. zejna, help me. i hope semi 2 will be better but there's not many heavy hitters

#esc24

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mindastardust · 1 year

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My thoughts regarding the esc 2023 final/results

Okay, I’ve had some time to think about this (and actually sleep a bit) and this is my (probably a bit disorganized) thoughts on the situation. (I’m from Sweden, so I’m a bit biased, but I’ve done my best to give a fair answer/judgment to everything that I’ve seen)

1. The blatant misogyny and racism

The amount of misogyny and racism directed toward Loreen that I’ve seen is truly disgusting. I’ve read things that seemed like direct quotes from the Swedish democratic party (aka the racist party) and that’s never, ever okay. It’s completely fine to dislike the song/the number/the singer we still need to treat them with the bare minimum of respect.

2. This is not the first time (and probably not the last)

This is not the first time a former winner is back. A recent example (that I also have seen other people talk about here) is Alexander Rybak who returned in 2018. I’m well aware that he didn’t win but he did win his semi-final and was, for a while, one of the favorites that year. And I don’t remember people campaigning against him for a whole week for that? I have seen some people talk about how his entry was fine since it was clear that he “didn’t even try to win and was just having fun”. I can’t find any source confirming this but I can find one interviewwith Loreen where she says that winning again wasn’t her main motivation for returning. And still, I see Loreen being accused of only caring about winning and being annoyingly “fake humble” (again, see 1).

Also, quite a few times in the past ten years, the televoting winner and the overall winner have not been the same. For example, the last time Sweden won, Måns only came third in the televoting category and this hate storm was mysteriously silent. Same thing 2016 and 2019, when Jamala/Duncan won in neither the televoting nor the jury votes but still won overall.

3. What is Eurovision about and who is it for?

Finland’s entry this year (and most years to be fair) is funnier than Sweden’s. Tattoo is not meant to be a funny song and Sweden generally sends more “normal” (or boring, if you prefer that word) pop songs rather than the more colorful, camp songs that most of us fans have come to associate with Eurovision. Do I think Esc would be more fun if we actually tried to send songs like that? Yeah, I do. I’d love for that to be a thing. Unfortunately, as esc works right now, it’s not the most “effective” thing to do if you want to win. As boring as it is, the more “normal” pop songs generally perform better than the more camp/crazy/creative ones.

We also need to remember that most of the 200 million viewers aren’t us. They are not live-blogging the whole show on Tumblr. They causally follow the show, most of them probably watching only the final. To call Tattoo “jury bait” is fine, cause it’s 100% true. To call it “normie bait” is less so. It implies that those more casual viewers (who might prefer music similar to “normal” pop rather than “classic esc camp”) don’t have the same right to an opinion as the “true esc fan” (whoever that might be). It also brings us to the question of how to identify that true fan. OGAE (the network of esc fan clubs) perhaps, who organizes the OGAE fan poll each year? But since Loreen won that one this year, I’m guessing that’s not a solution that’s good either.

Yes, Käärijä won the public vote (with quite a big margin) but Loreen came in second place and to act like everyone who voted for her doesn’t deserve to have an opinion is trying to silence quite a lot of people.

4. Was Eurovision rigged?

You all do realize that some of you sound a bit crazy, right? We clearly did not bribe the jury nor (do I believe at least) was this whole thing planned before the competition began. At best (if you want a conspiracy), Melfest (Sweden’s national competition) was rigged so that a “good artist” (in this case Loreen) would win with a very ESC-friendly song so that Sweden could have the highest chance possible of winning. Do I think this was the case? No. I don’t have any proof that our television network didn’t plan this. At the same time, no one else has any proof that they did.

5. So what now?

Loreen played by the rules and won. You are allowed to think the rules (the jury) suck (I can assure you that several Swedes hate the international jury we have at our Melfest each year). Should the rules change? I’m open to that. The rules have changed many times before and it might be high time for another change. There’s certainly much to gain in terms of goodwill by removing the jury right now. Also, kick out Israel while you’re at it. The fact that they’re still allowed to compete is disgusting.

TLDR; If you want to criticize Loreen (or anyone else), do it without being racist or misogynistic. Remember that former winners have been back before and that other entries than the televoting winner have won before. Realize that we Tumblre fans might not be the typical esc viewer. I personally don’t see how esc could have been rigged for Sweden to win and I do believe Loreen (and Sweden) played 100% by the rules, but I can agree that if those rules cause this much outrage, they might be due for a change.

#esc23 #eurovision

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itmightbeneb · 1 year

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WHY ARE THE JURY BEIGE BABIES GODDMAN IT.

[the song isn't that bad but cha cha cha was sooo much better]

this is a eurovision jury hate blog but more importantly this is a käärijä love blog

#asks

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applesaucesims · 2 years

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Back from eurovision liveblogging on my other blog and now I'm screaming crying throwing up about how much latvia got robbed and how much i hate the eurovision juries for only voting boring hetero ballads every damn year

#esc #eurovision #nonsims

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alvfr · 2 years

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this is a Eurovision jury hate blog

#sorry not sorry #esc 2022 #eurovision song contest #Eurovision

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kaimosokiai · 2 years

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this is now a eurovision jury hate blog

#eurovison 2022

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sophiamcdougall · 4 years

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EXPLAINING SANREMO

(PART 1) Last week I was swept away, helpless, by the avalanche that is the Sanremo Song Festival and I am still recovering. For your safety, I’ve tried to keep the insanity contained on my Italian side blog. But I want to try to offer you a rough summary of what I’ve learned. Sanremo inspired the Eurovision Song Contest. Over five nights, 24 acts, each with a brand new song, compete at the Ariston theatre in Sanremo for a tacky little golden lion, and the glory of being the year’s Song for Italy. 2020 marked the 70th Sanremo, so depending on who you ask, it’s a venerable national treasure or it’s stale and embarrassing (Many Italians are sick of it. Or say they are, but see below.) It is also an EPIC STRUGGLE between THE FORCES OF GOOD AND EVIL FOR THE SOUL OF HUMANITY Let’s meet some of the protagonists:

AKA: host Amadeus, entertainer and comedian Rosario Fiorello, il Bel Paese, and competitor Achille Lauro.

Amadeus got things off to a bad start before the show even began by praising his various female co-hosts - all seasoned TV professionals - for their beauty and their ability to stay “a step behind a man.” Outrage ensues, Amadeus claims he did not mean it like that, but keep this in mind for later. Also competing are Morgan (below, left) and Bugo (below, right.), who are performing a duet.

Going in, the one thing I know about Morgan is that on more than one occasion, he trashtalked my beloved and blameless Fabrizio Moro. So I hate him and want him to suffer. And apparently he has quite the reputation for throwing tantrums, picking on fellow-artists and sabotaging events he’s part of. But hey. He’s supposedly talented and Bugo clearly thinks he deserves another chance. And we’re off!

Irene Grandi kicks things off with “Finalmente Io” (“Finally Me”). But I’m starting with her not so much because she’s the first to sing as because I don’t think the song’s got enough attention -- either for the fact that it bangs or for what it represents in the drama that’s about to unfold.

Finalmente Io is what, in the business, we call foreshadowing.

There’s a magical thing that happens to women with when they turn 40. The develop Not-Giving-A-Fuck superpowers. The song is basically about that. It’s about freedom, and self-acceptance, and being 100% done with male bullshit. (It's also a bit of an ADHD anthem but let’s leave that aside for now.) “I’ve lost all my patience, and all my fragility,” she sings.

And, “If you want sex, let’s do it now. Heeeeeeere.”

Irene is the portent everyone misses, a harbinger of what is to come.

Think of her as John the Baptist. Onwards. So the first thing one discovers about the Sanremo Festival is that just because we have to get through 24 “big” acts AND 6 (?) new/junior artists, and they all have to perform multiple times, that doesn’t mean there’s any RUSH. Guest singers wander on and perform a song or ten. There’s comedy. We can stop everything to talk about football. A lady comes on and talks for a million years about how her granny taught her that True Beauty is Found Within. There are also speeches about important subjects like violence against women. In fact, we are going to talk about that a lot, but also a bunch of competent and experienced female TV personalities are stuck taking turns at playing Amadeus’s Glamorous Assistant of the evening and he can’t shut up about how beautiful they all are while they cringe and lean subtly away from him. So it’s ... slow, and awkward, but within its own cheesy terms, things are normal. Too normal. Enter Achille Lauro.

Softly, almost whispering, he begins to sing a song called “Me ne frego” (”I don’t care” - but with an edge of “fuck you”). This is both an everyday Italian expression and a fascist motto. Well, it was till now.

A nation is convulsed. Right-wing Italian boomers are screaming because YOU! CAN’T! DO! THAT! AT! SANREMO! THERE! ARE! CHILDREN! WATCHING! Italian Tumblr, which like the rest of Tumblr is feral, thirsty and gay, is screaming for different reasons entirely.

Achille, you scandalous creature, what have you done? What have you got to say for yourself?

Something strange and magical has released and it cannot be contained. On with the songs. Good songs, bad songs, blah songs. I like “Tikibombom” by Levante - a love letter to weirdos and rebels, “Rosso di Rabbia” (Rage Red) by Anastasio about being, well, angry but scared you can’t do anything useful with it, and “Eden” by Rancore, about... the nature of sin?? touching on everything from September 11 to the mafia to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. However, this contest is being judged (mostly - it’s complicated) by an industry jury of FOOLS, COWARDS, and TRAITORS who KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO, so virtually all of the above artists are so far languishing towards the bottom of the provisional rankings. Achille ends up in 17th place and Rancore at 22.

Truly, the light hath shone in the darkness and the darkness knoweth it not.

LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO RANCORE.

Rapper down, repeat RAPPER DOWN. SEND HELP.

However, for people who went in implacably biased against Morgan, it’s not all bad news. "Sincero” (Sincere) by Morgan and Bugo is in last place. Whether this is anything to do with the song or because Morgan is a nightmare of a person who has systematically alienated everyone in the Italian music industry except the trusting Bugo ... we can but ponder. Sanremo grinds on. Days blur into each other and I’m not even going to try to cover events in exact order. Sanremo knows no order. Sanremo is like the universe, linear time is a construct that doesn’t really exist, and chaos happens very, very slowly. But meanwhile, somewhere on the astral plane:

At least that is what I deduce must have happened.

The competitors and guests look deep within themselves. Do they have what it takes? Are they ready to answer the call?

Let’s see! It’s Covers Night! Which is also Duets Night!

That’s Elettra Lamborghini (yes, that Lamborghini) and Myss Keta.

Are they in tune? No. Does it matter? ALSO NO.

Meanwhile ... something strange is brewing between Amadeus and Fiorello...

But wait, PLOT TWIST.

Enter Roberto Benigni.

The beloved actor and director is the latest avatar of the Dionysian frenzy that has chosen Sanremo 2020 for the place of its birth. He is the One who will unite the electric queer mayhem and the impossible grinding tedium of Sanremo. In him, the two strains will fuse and become unstoppable. He is going to talk about sex for twenty-six minutes

He reads from the Song of Songs, which ... I knew it was sexy, and all, but is it really like that? Do you ever think about NAKED BODIES? Roberto does. Do you believe in PHYSICAL LOVE? Roberto wishes you would. Anyway, just think of all the sex we could all be having, literally right now, right heeeeere, whether we are “a woman, and her man. Or a man and his man. Or a woman, and her woman!” He is awful. He is magnificent. He is excruciating. He is spellbinding. We are hanging on his every word and we are considering chewing our own arms off to escape. He proposes an orgy in the orchestra pit.

Hand on heart, all of that happened. Italian Tumblr, bear witness.

And what of Achille Lauro? He unleashed this madness upon us all, is he just going to sit back and let everyone else do all the work? Of course not. Achille Lauro came to bring not peace, but a sword, to the world of toxic masculinity and gender in general and his work is not yet done.

”I too was once a little girl,” Achille sings.

Dressed as Bowie-as-Ziggy, Achille duets with Annalisa on “Gli Uomini Non Cambiano” - “Men Don’t Change”. It’s a heartbreaking song by Mia Martini from 1992 about male abuse of women, and not a single word, or a single pronoun has been changed.

However, although he’s the one in the competition, and the one dressed to dazzle, he leaves Annalisa the spotlight. It’s like she’s the tortured protagonist of the song and he’s a voice in her head, a sympathetic spirit who can’t swoop in to rescue her but can quietly affirm that she deserves better than the the hellish treatment she’s singing about. in fact, he pointedly stays a step behind her at all times. And she’s majestic.

Of course, he’s not fucking DONE

He’s still got to sing “Me Ne Frego” again. Can he top the cape-drop? You be the judge.

So Italian Tumblr, is now writhing on the carpet, making a sound only bats can hear, and shitposting itself into delirium, but has it all been ENOUGH?

NO.

Poor Rancore has died again. Toxic masculinity still exists. Amadeus is still pretty gross. Everyone is going to have to GAY HARDER. CAN THEY DO IT? This post is, like Sanremo itself, getting insanely long, so ... STAY TUNED FOR PART TWO, in which Fiorello’s true nature as a chaos being is revealed, Amadeus faces his Calvary, and the gun on the stage goes off. ----- UPDATE: Part 2 is here

#Sanremo #Sanremo 2020 #Explaining Sanremo #Achille Lauro #Explaining Sanremo Part 1

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gloomierdays · 1 year

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Violence is the answer

#Käärijä bby don't worry I'll avenge you #Eurovision #Eurovision 2023 #esc #esc 2023 #this voting was such a joke #Eurovision jury hate blog #like I hope everyone knows he was better #like he was better #it was only jury's serpentine touch that pushed her through

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dunne-ias · 5 years

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Love the results, hate the results, either way you gotta admit that was a VERY good way of delivering them, making sure to keep it a real nail biter to the end.

Frankly Sweden's final placement was pretty much what I expected, top 10, but not top 5 (we ended up as 6th).

I just hope we could maybe do something different next year. Send something fun. Bring back Roger Pontare (google Swedish entry from 2001, unless it was 2000). Because if you keep doing the same thing, you'll get the same results. I.e. loved by jury, tolerated by televoters.

And thus concludes everything I will say about Eurovision 2019, and this will resume being a sims blog.

Until ESC2020.

#esc2019 #eurovision song contest #eurovision #eurovision sweden #nonsims

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eurosong · 5 years

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2018 vs 2019: Semi-final 1

Hey there, folks! Every year after the national final season is over, one of the first things I write about Eurovision is a comparison of the new year’s songs with those of the previous year. Often it gets folk unfollowing the blog even though it’s almost entirely posts about ESC statistics and only a relatively small amount on rating the songs here. These are just my thoughts and no offence intended to anyone who thinks otherwise. Without further ado, click below to take a look at my thoughts on semi-final one!

◯ Australia – 2019 – Last year, Oz sent “We got love” (or “We got l’œuf” as I renamed it), which was a dizzying collection of clichés, got a mediocre placement and might well have been the impetus for them finally biting the bullet and getting the punters involved in the thitherto long mooted national final. This decision might not benefit their chances of keeping up their qualification record in the long run – but it means, for once, that Australia can move outside a narrow box musically and send things that would never be picked by internal selectors. “Zero gravity” was a less astute choice than “2000 & Whatever” would have been, I feel – it sounds to be like something that people think is so Eurovision who haven’t seen it in some time. Nonetheless, homegirl has pipes, the tune is quite catchy and it’s a hell of a lot more interesting than last year’s song.

◯ Belarus – 2018 – whilst I’ll be talking about 2018 vs 2019, I have to take a quick detour almost right away to 2017. It was the first time that Belarus managed to sustain my interest and get into my personal top 10 since their début, and they did so by going authentic and finally showing some love for their national language on the ESC stage. One year later, and I certainly wasn’t enthused by a carpetbagging victory of a non-local singing a rather ordinary song in English or some approximation thereof.

And yet, “Forever” and its earnest performer grew on me, especially the strange dissonance between the hopeful lyrics and the very melancholy music. After a similar number of repeated listens, “Like it” has not sparked even the briefest flame. Musically, this starts off with an inoffensive if very 2005 Spanish guitar riff, arrives at a decent-ish bridge and then throws itself off it head first into an absolutely dreadful thumping, repetitive chorus which is reprised way too much in the rest of the song. Lyrically, they put about as much effort into the words as they did into the “screensaver with default font” they were using as a background as Zena performed. She repeats “yes, you’re gunna like it” 40 times in the space of 3 minutes – one every 4.5 seconds. Maybe she’s trying to psychologically condition us, but no, Zena, I ent gunna like it at all. In a delicious bit of irony, it’s also at time of writing the least “liked” ESC ’19 song on Youtube. Strong preference to 2018.

◯ Belgium – 2019 – It can be difficult for a country to come back after a peak moment for them with something equally good that also manages to win over the fans and juries. We’ve seen it in Latvia after “Love injected”, in Estonia after “Goodbye to yesterday” and I think we’re seeing it once again with Belgium after “City lights”. Neither this year’s song nor last’s comes anywhere near the anthemic, emotional power of Blanche’s song. Both are nice enough, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Eliot struggled much as Sennek did last year. I give it a slight preference, but both songs are really let down, I feel, by choruses that don’t pay off the drama built in the verses.

◯ Cyprus – Neither – I try to limit myself to as few “neither” choices as possible in these games because the fun is in having to choose, sometimes, between two difficult options. Nonetheless, I abhorred “Fuego” in every conceivable way and this aptly-named “replay” offers little different to those who weren’t fans of it. If I had to pick, I’d go with 2018, because at least it doesn’t have the sadness of attempting to catch lightning twice in the same jar attached to it.

◯ Czechia – 2019 – Two years, two rather uncomfortable entries from the Czechs in a row. Last year, we had a predatory “Blurred lines” light, while this year, whilst less lyrically degrading, still has weird lines about eavesdropping on people having sex through the walls(?)… but it’s enough to secure a slight preference.

◯ Estonia – 2018 – It seems like such a long time has passed since the days when I consistently found Eesti Beesti, since those days when Eesti Laul seemed experimental and had a decent number of songs in their native language. I’m no fan of popera, but at least Elina was a local talent. It’s bewildering when a country with so many great artists can’t find someone with any real association with it to sing for them. Though both are ultimately derivative, I prefer La forza to what is essentially an aviici b-side.

◯ Finland– 2018 – I have a pet peeve for national finals where you are presented with a single choice of artist. Unless said artist is very versatile (say, Frances Ruffelle, who took on dark pop, ballads and gospel-tinged anthems in her solo national final back in 1994), you are restricted to a narrow set of genres. If you don’t like that artist or their style, then you’re shit out of luck. That’s been the case for the last few years with Saara Aalto and now Darude. I didn’t really like ány of either’s songs and miss the days of a diverse choice in UMK. I pick Saara because her throwback was slightly more tolerable.

◯ Georgia– 2018 – Fair play to Georgia, who always dance to the beat of their very own peculiar drummer. You’d think that the shift to the X Factor format to pick their representative, combined with the cold reception for their “ethno-jazz” last year, would have led to them playing it safe to try to avoid three DNQs in a row. Instead they’ve gone for something downbeat, angry and almost oppressive in its ambiance, i.e. something even less accessible to the general viewer than last year. This feels like the rock song equivalent to a war crimes tribunal. I preferred last year’s effort, which was rather more uplifting, and which I felt was unfairly underrated for a genuinely well-composed piece of music steeped in tradition.

◯ Greece – 2019 – A number of people around me were raving for Oneiro mou last year. I wasn’t one of them and suspected it would fail to qualify from the get-go. Instead of “Greece returning to form”, it felt like them attempting to do so but ending up with a nationalistic pastiche instead. This year, they’ve taken their usual mould and smashed it with a hammer, going in a very different direction with a delightfully husky-voiced singer and a musically anthemic piece that manages to compensate, for me, the song’s lyrical shortcomings. I enjoy it a fair bit more.

◯ Hungary – 2018 – This is one of the hardest ones of this semi final to choose, as “Viszlát nyar” and “Az én apam” are chalk and cheese, but both highly qualitative and with meaningful lyrics. Joci’s other ESC song, Origo, beat Viszlát nyar for me, but his 2019 effort doesn’t have quite the same visceral punch to it, so I think I’m going to have to give the edge to AWS this time around.

◯ Iceland – 2019 – Another country giving us night and day, but this time, I like neither of the two choices. Last year certainly put the “cheese” in the old “chalk and cheese” saying, an unbelievably overwrought and soppy Christmas charity-esque tune that somehow ended up at ESC. This year, it’s something rather acerbic, dingy, grating and ultimately gimmicky. In these times, “hate will prevail” is the last message we need. I will take it over Ari any day though, as that was just squirmworthy.

◯ Montenegro – 2018 – It seemed that, last year, Montenegro was back to doing what it has always done best – a haunting, beautiful Balkan ballad after a few bizarre years of experiments gone wrong. Unfortunately, Inje got slept on despite its quality and couldn’t bring about an end to CG’s DNQ streak. There were many candidates in this year’s Montevizija that could have gone one better and done just that – but instead, bewilderingly, we got this unspeakable jumble which sounds like it was a rejected b-side for a mediocre mid-90s boy band, but with the addition of Random Casio Noises® in the background. Comparing Inje to it is likening fine wine to a bottle of Panda Cola that has been left with the cap off in the sun for 2 weeks.

◯ Poland – 2019 – Last year, Poland sent a middle-aged man in a hat doing a cringey snake dance whilst a young, inexplicably Swedish guy sort of sang and the whole thing sounded like the soundtrack for a Coke advert gone wrong. This year, they’ve got some women swaying like maniacs in a forest where they probably buried their patriarch. Not much of a step up in theory, but a big step up nonetheless…

◯ Portugal– 2019 – Portugal is a country that could have peaked with their first win, or fallen into a niche in a sad attempt (*cough* Cyprus *cough*) to recapture that glory. Instead, they are challenging all the tropes and have a national final with some serious diversity. I loved “O jardim” and it deserved way better, but this year’s song, “Telemóveis”, exceeds even that. It’s a haunting but catchy as hell rumination on mortality, technology and saudade with a musical backdrop whose influences transcend continents. If it’s not in the running to win the whole thing, I will be disappointed.

◯ San Marino – 2018 – I cannot get my head around the enthusiasm for “Say na na na”, which seems to have been contracted not only by postmodern pisstakers but by many folk who genuinely like it. It makes me cringe 10x more than Jenny B’s not quite sick rap skills last year, and that’s saying something. Plus, they had robots.

◯ Serbia – 2019 – They seemed like really nice people, but I found last year’s Serbian entry itself to be a bit of a minestrone into which a dozen elements of other songs were chucked in, and thus was lacking a bit in coherence. “Kruna”, on the other hand, is perfectly-formed, poignant, beautifully orchestrated and one of the best Balkan ballads in the past few years.

◯ Slovenia – 2018 – Fair play to Slovenia for picking themselves up and dusting themselves off after a few rough years. Hvala ne was backed by almost no one to qualify but I had faith in it early on and Lea benefited from being able to make a real connection with the crowds. Sebi is a very different beast entirely. Whilst Hvala ne had a defiance and a frenetic energy, Sebi is contemplative and melancholy. Both have great lyrics, too. I am going with Slovenia at the minute as it’s stood the test of time, but really the better of the two songs is really a question of mood.

And the automatic qualifiers of this semi-final:

◯ France – 2018 – It’s a battle between two songs written by the same writers, and since I loved their 2018 work, their follow-up should have a chance of making this a closely-run thing. Shóúld. Instead, they went from writing an understated song about humanity to writing an overbearingly pompous and self-important song about ego. This is the worst French song to me since 1988.

◯ Israel – 2018 – I wonder if Israel’s broadcasters remember how their predecessor, the IBU, won on home soil in 1979. I have the feeling they might well do, and as a result ensured it wouldn’t happen again with this song. There are elements of the song I really like, but it’s let down for me by a snivelly, exaggerated voice and a rather self-indulgent chorus. I was no great fan of “Toy”, but can listen to it with more pleasure than this.

◯ Spain – 2018 – I remember when “Tu canción" came out and I was completely in love with it. The unfortunate thing about songs sung by starry-eyed young loves is that their relationships often end up star-crossed. Now, Almaia is no more, and the song has a hugely bitter aftertaste. Nonetheless, I prefer it to La venda, which is a rather empty song lyrically but which I still found the best of a bad lot in the Spanish national final.

Coming up in the next instalment, my thoughts on SF2’s songs and how they shape up to those from last year!

#eurovision #esc 2019 #opinion #esc #eurovision 2019 #eurovision song contest

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usstatesofsong · 5 years

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ESC 2019 Reviews - Iceland

Semifinal 1, #13 - Hatari, “Hatrið mun sigra”

We have arrived. Who would have guessed Iceland would bounce back? ICELAND. Am I saying that prematurely? I have a few doubts from time to time, but NO. Iceland’s year has to be this year. I did love Svala, but… well… How else can Iceland win this competition?

The country of 400,000 have been competing since 1986 and have had two shots for the victory: 1999 and 2009; each time placing 2nd. Seeing a trend here? With Israel, they hosted in 1979 and 1999… I’m becoming superstitious. What I’m saying is that it’s Iceland’s year to get out of that semifinal and have a run for the top. Whether that will be 2nd, or (god forbid) 1st? I’m getting ahead of myself; let’s dig in.

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The artist and song? Yep, some guys in leather, spandex, and pointy spike masks. Listen: this blog post is so easy to write because the first lesson I was given in what Eurovision 2019 had in store was my good friend from Florida sending me a clip of Hatari’s “Hatrið mun sigra” (Eng: “Hatred will prevail”) … and while I loved the grittiness of it, I was kind of turned off at first, similarly for the same reasons Australia’s stage performance bothered me in yesterday’s blog. Do we need to go back to the antics of ten years ago to win Eurovision? Is that the trend we should expect in the future?

But if you start looking into Hatari, the act… this is their alma mater, their joie de vivre. These aren’t just Eurovision-style antics. Yes, it’s an act insofar that they obviously act differently when not in costume, but it is a definite part of their repertoire. And they’ve made a point to be as genuinely sarcastic as possible in interviews and abroad. To gain understanding about Iceland is to witness the brainchild of this act in some ways; there’s a line on their Wikipedia page that reads, and I quote: “On 21 December 2018, Hatari announced that the board of directors … passed a resolution to dissolve the band. The band explained that the decision came about because they had failed to topple capitalism.” Naturally! I mean, why aren’t all bands broken up yet? You all FAILED!

Klemens and Mattias (and later Einar) dropped their first EP in 2017, and because I’m as sadistic as the sound of their entry, I gave it a listen. The sound of “Hatrið mun sigra” is nothing new for them. Loud techno-industrial bass beats, shouty vocals from Mattias, and supplemental “things” from Klemens. You will take solace in one of the two’s vocals, but it’s purely taste. Mattias is a bit of a mismatch from voice to face, by the way.

Hearing this song makes me question the success of humanity, and the purpose of measuring songs against one another for their ‘likability’. It’s the essence of techno music being plunged into a colony of sewer rats and flushed through synthetic clouds of candy floss and cutting blades. It bears no real purpose to hate this song because then you’re letting hatred prevail. To hate this song is to agree with its goals; to love this song is to kill the hopes and dreams of the world.

This might end up being the most divisive entry of this decade if it has a chance at gold. We’re stuck on the song a lot in this review, but we all know the staging is going to SLICE APART the delicate fabric of family-friendly Eurovision in one way or another. The colony of people left speechless, saying WTF, will vote for this. I don’t think they can have a slave-dog crawling around on stage, but 1997’s entry pushed the acceptability bar, so who knows. In my opinion, when Lordi won in 2006, it created a rift that hasn’t healed in the causal viewer community about the seriousness of the contest and whether it can be trusted…. YEAH so, expect the public to lap this up like ice cream but potentially for the jury to kill this song before we even get to announcing the public vote winner. If nothing else, certain countries will love this song in the televote while others detest it and the scoring could get really weird. Lucky number thirteen.

I’m just going to shrug my shoulders, tune in on Saturday night (imagine a world where this doesn’t qualify, I dare you), and hope that somehow Europe spares itself from allowing a song named “Hatred will prevail” from prevailing. My doubts about their ability to perform this well on stage without it looking sloppy keeps this from escalating up my rank. Let this song get another silver like Verka Serduchka and we can let love live a prosperous career unto its own.

My Rating: 7/10 Ranking: 8th of 41

#iceland #eurovision #hatrið mun sigra #hatari #iceland 2019 #eurovision song contest #esc 2019 #eurovision 2019 #hatred will prevail

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borisbubbles · 5 years

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01. LITHUANIA

Ieva Zasimauskaite - “When we’re old” 12th place

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After six, long arduous months, this ranking somehow outlived the entire Almaia relationship, and that alone should be reason enough to finish the ranking immediately, but the the upcoming ban of all nfsw stuff (/porn) from this website will also cause a homosexual exodus (homosexodus? 🤔), sooooo, definitely time to finish this ranking before I lose 85% of my current audience.

Look, listen OKAY, just like how I naturally gravitate towards Lea Sirk’s sass and Elina’s pristineness and DoReDoS’s hilarious whateverthatwas, I was simply never *not* going to like a Lithuanian frumpy space princess and annointed HINDU with a voice more brittle than Theresa May’s position in the House of Commons, whose meditation rites include drinking a cup of boiling water (without the tea! just water) on a daily basis to *purify* her mind and soul. Okay the last MAY be an exaggeration on the behalf of the Flemish commentator (Peter Van de Veire is a known jokester), but then again, I can totally see Ieva telling this to random bystanders in her hotel lobby? Such oblivious, but well-meaning wackiness is just so Ieva SassyMouseKyte.

Naturally, one MASSIVE part of my Ieva stanning is JUST her personality, which is both intensely kooky and disarmingly innocent, see above. Another example: Ieva serenly sliding off the stage during the semifinal, only to find the nearest camera and exclaim ”I FELT THE PRESENCE OF *GODS* ON THE STAGE WHILE I WAS SINGING ^__^ I FEEL *ENLIGHTENED* 🤗🤗” llke she was Siddharta Gautama under the Bodhi tree <3 I am no a religious man but if Ieva said the stage was brightened with a non-descript Eastern Deity’s presence during the performance, who am I to refute it? 😁

Gods or no gods, I will say that it took a *serious* amount of dharma to give us *the most unexpected gift* we’ve ever could’ve been granted, which is a COMPETENT EUROVISION ENTRY FOR LITHUANIA. In terms of Eurovision, Lithuania are amongst of the objective *worst* on a terrifyingly consistent basis and here you have a fairly pleasant Ellie Goulding-inspired, frumpolicious Hindu cleric bringing a ballad about the inevitability of high medieval alliance pacts. Let’s Sing The Song That She Wrote:

Actually that’s selling the act a bit short, because for a brief moment, Ieva managed to transform her moment during the sheer INSANITY that was this year’s finale (well the sheer insanity streaked with horrifying, terrible, machinal dullness, not naming any names but *cough*austriaandaustralia*cough), into an oasis of *pure show-stopping sentiment* and that’s a powerful feat to accomplish for a Eurovision entry. Normally, you think such an entry would Blackbird itself into oblivion but as Ieva had prophetically declared, GOD WAS ON HER SIDE, AMEN, so nope, think again Christerifer Morningstar 😈

Speaking of, praise Hallellujah, Oh Glory and Mazzel-Motherfucking-Tov that Ieva qualified under the hilarity that is the current combined voting system (to those who still hate it, AISEL would’ve qualified under the old system despite being 12th in both jury and televote 🙃 Granted this would be funny if this had happened to Sennek or Ari or Eye Cue or basically anyone other than Aisel, but it didn’t so The Old System remains CANCELLED, s/n/s) because not only is Ieva an Elyon Goddess Moste High, and has the unique quality of being a Good Entry from Lithuania, “When We’re Old” is also... fucking awesome in itself?

“When we’re old” is *not* your typical BorisBubbles fave on the surface (lol as if I can expect you to know what a typical Boris fave is after only two full rankings on tumblr 😬), but it totally is? Ieva hits that personal sweet spot for me that I require from my faves: Quirky, but not overbearingly weird. Well-liked, but not liked *enough* to top every post-show list. Sentimental, but because her emotions are *real*, not because of some forced commercialized acting gig. (such as, um, fucking Rona Nishliu and her fake-as-fuck dry sobbing ugh die bitch! (k not literally, just musically, 5ever)). Also, this song makes me want to sing along like the soft ass fag that I am. “When Weeeeeeeeee’re OWLED Hooooooooooooooo!!!” All of this cements Ieva as a dark horse, an underdog and an eternal outsider and these are the *specific* type of entries that I started this blog for.

I guess I should write a bit more, with more *sass and pizzazz*, but that’s basically my Ieva love in a nutshell! I think she’s an utter gem, both as a human and a Eurovision participant, “When We’re Old” *still* remains the only entry this year to give me *emotional attachment* in the form of shivers and near-tears and bad impromptu karaoke. If you don’t think she’s all that, well that’s your loss, not sorry! She made the final through the good graces of Hare Krishna and did better than Jessi*can’t* and *No*lexander ! If I get a relationship, I want it be precisely like Ieva and her Hubbo’s. GET A LIFE!!

ALL HAIL THE QUEEN OF EUROVISION 2018

Thank you for reading this ranking, it’s been a blast! See you on the 1st of April 2019 for the #TelAviv2019 preshow ranking. God bless you and shalom!

EUROVISION 2018 - POST SHOW

01. Lithuania (Ieva Zasimauskaite - “When we’re old”) 02. Moldova (DoReDoS - “My Lucky Day”)

03. Estonia (Elina Nechayeva - “La Forza”)

04. Slovenia (Lea Sirk - “Hvala, ne!”)

05. Switzerland (ZiBBZ - “Stones”)

06. Germany (Michael Schulte - “You let me walk alone”)

07. Albania (Eugent Bushpepa - “Mall”)

08. France (Madame Monsieur - “Mercy”)

09. Hungary (AWS - “Viszlát nyár”)

10. Finland (Saara Aalto - “Monsters”)

11. Bulgaria (EQUINOX - “Bones”)

12. Denmark (Rasmussen - “Higher ground”)

13. Malta (Christabelle - “Taboo”)

14. Cyprus (Eleni Foureira - “Fuego”)

15. United Kingdom (SuRie - “Storm”)

16. Serbia (Balkanika - “Nova Deca”)

17. Portugal (Cláudia Pascoal - “O jardim”)

18. The Netherlands (Waylon - “Outlaw in ‘em”)

19. Ukraine (MÉLOVIN - “Under the ladder”)

20. Macedonia (Eye Cue - “Lost and Found”)

21. San Marino (Jessika ft. Jenifer Brening - “Who We Are”)

22. Sweden (Benjamin Ingrosso - “Dance You Off”)

23. Austria (Cesár Sampson - “Nobody but you”)

24. Latvia (Laura Rizzotto - “Funny girl”)

25. Azerbaijan (AISEL - “X my heart”)

26. Israel (Netta - “Toy”)

27. Norway (Alexander Rybak - “That’s how you write a song”)

28. Montenegro (Vanja Radovanovic - “Inje”)

29. Armenia (Sevak Khanagyan - “Qami”)

30. Poland (Gromee ft. Lukas Meijer - “Light me up”)

31. Greece (Yianna Terzi - “Oniro mou”)

32. Georgia (Iriao - “For you”)

33. Belgium (Sennek - “A matter of time”)

34. Italy (Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - “Non mi avete fatto niente”)

35. Romania (The Humans - “Goodbye”)

36. Ireland (Ryan O'Shaughnessy - “Together”)

37. Croatia (Franka - “Crazy”)

38. Belarus (ALEKSEEV - “Forever”)

39. Russia (Julia Samoylova - “I Won’t Break”)

40. Spain (Amaia & Alfred - “Tu canción”)

41. Iceland (Ari Ólafsson - “Our choice”)

42. Australia (Jessica Mauboy - “We got love”)

43. Czech Republic (Mikolas Jozef - “Lie to me”)

HALL OF BORIS BUBBLES EUROVISION FAVES (1972-2018) 1972: the Netherlands (Sandra & Andres - “Als het om de liefde gaat”) 1973: United Kingdom (Cliff Richard - “Power to all our friends”) 1974: Sweden (ABBA - “Waterloo”) (ed: totally by default btw. Shit year.) 1975: Germany (Joy Fleming - “Ein Lied kann Eine Brücke Sein” ) 1976: Luxembourg (Jürgen Marcus - “Chansons pour ceux qui s’aiment”) (😂) 1977: Belgium (Dream Express - “A million in 1-2-3″) (ed.: top five ESC year) 1978: Israel (Izhar Cohen & Alfabeta - “A Ba Ni Bi”) 1979: Germany (Dschinghis Khan - “Dschinghis Khan”) 1980: Luxembourg (Sofie & Magaly - “Papa Pingouïn”) 1981: Belgium - (Emly Starr - “Samson”) 1982: Germany - (Nicole - “Ein Bißchen Frieden”) 1983: Israel (Ofra Haza - “Hi”) 1984: Ireland (Linda Martin - “Terminal 3″) 1985: Turkey (MFÖ - “Didai, Didai, Dai”) 1986: Belgium (Sandra Kim - ”J’aime la vie”) (même si c’est une folie!) 1987: Belgium (Liliane St. Pierre - “Soldiers of Love”) (ed.: top Five esc entry) 1988: Switzerland (Céline Dion - “Ne Partez Pas Sans Moi”) 1989: Denmark ( Birthe Kjær - "Vi maler byen rød") 1990: Yugoslavia/Croatia (Tajci - “Hajde, da ludujemo) 1991: Sweden (Carola - “ Fångad av en stormvind”) (ed.: top five ESC entry) 1992: Denmark (Lotte Nilsson & Kenny Lübcke - “Allting som ingen ser”) 1993: the Netherlands (Ruth Jacott - “Vrede”) 1994: Germany (MeKaDo - “Wir geben ‘ne Party”) 1995: Cyprus (Alexandros Panayi - “Sti fotia”) 1996: Croatia (Maja Blagdan - “Sveta ljubav”) 1997: Poland (Anne-Marie Jopek - “Ale jestem”) (ed.: Top five ESC year) 1998: the Netherlands (Edsilia Rombley - “Hemel en aarde”) (I think???? lol 😬) 1999: Croatia (Doris Dragovic - “MARIJA MAGDALENAAAAAAA”) 2000: Latvia (Brainstorm - “My Star”) (ed.: top five ESC entry) 2001: France (Natasha St. Pier - “Je n’ai que mon âme”) (but also, nobody) 2002: Spain (Rosa - “Yooropz leebin a selebrayshun”) (ed.: this trashfest <3) 2003: Germany (Lou - “Let’s get happy”) (and let’s be GAY!) 2004: Albania (Anjeza Shahini - “Image of you”) 2005: Romania (Luminita Anghel and Sistem - “Let me try”) (Ed.: top five year) 2006: Iceland (Silvia Night - “Congratulations”) (ed.: 2006 SF > 2006 GF 😬) 2007: Georgia (Sopho - “Visionary Dream”) (ed.: i have about 9 absofaves from this year though lol) 2008: Iceland (Euroband - “This is my life) 2009: Iceland (Yohanna - “Is it true?”) (ed.: top five ESC entry) 2010: Albania (Juliana Pasha - “It’s all about you”) 2011: Germany (Lena - “Taken by a stranger) (ed.: top 5 entry, bottom 5 year >_<) 2012: Sweden (Loreen - “Euphoria”) (ed.: as with ABBA Loreen wins my ranking by default because this year is mostly rubbish.) 2013: Greece (Koza Mostra - “Alcohol is free”) (ed.: personal fave ESC year :)) 2014: Slovenia (Tinkara Kovac ft. Lea Sirk - “Round and round) (ed.: top five ESC year) 2015: Latvia (Aminata - “Love Injected”) 2016: Armenia (Iveta Mukuchyan - “LoveWave) 2017: Belgium (Blanche - “City Lights”) 2018: Lithuania (Ieva Zasimauskaite - “When we’re old”) (ooooohhhhhhhh)

#Eurovision #Eurovision 2018 #Eurovision Song Contest #Ieva Zasimauskaitė #When We're Old #Lithuania

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mjeurovision · 5 years

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Sweden: Hate to Love Too Late for Love

What do you think of the Swedish entry? Is John Lundvik's song great or is it too little, too late? Check out my blog and let me know your thoughts!

It’s the biggest national final of them all from the undisputed champions of Eurovision and on 9 March, they picked another song to contend for the crown. John Lundvik, one the songwriters behind the UK entry, placed first with both the televote and the jury, and will sing his song Too Late for Love in Tel Aviv this May.

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#Dare to Dream #Eurovision #Eurovision 2019 #Eurovision Song Contest #John Lundvik #Sweden #Sweden 2019 #Tel Aviv 2019 #Too late for love

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maryseward666 · 6 years

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Metal Band AWS To Represent Hungary In 'Eurovision Song Contest'

RARE BLACK METAL COLLECTIBLES

For the first time ever, Hungary has chosen a metal band to represent the country in the Eurovision Song Contest. The post-hardcore/modern metal act AWS came out on top in the seventh edition of the Hungarian national selection "A Dal" with its emotional song "Viszlát Nyár" (English-language translation: "Goodbye, Summer") performed in the band's native language. AWS was founded in 2006 in high school by Bence Brucker, Dániel Kökényes, Örs Siklósi and Áron Veress. They were later joined by current bass player Soma Schiszler. Combining different elements of nu-metal, metalcore, post-hardcore and psychedelic rock, the band managed to produce three full-length albums, three singles and seven video clips during its 12-year existence. Following a decade of successful club shows and even major festival appearances from all over Hungary to Austria, Slovenia, Romania and the United Kingdom, the band was announced as one of the participants of "A Dal" in 2017. AWS's victory came as a big surprise, although the band united the Hungarian metal scene like no band before. Musicians from all over the country encouraged their fans to cast their votes for AWS — from popular rock musicians like TANKCSAPDA and ROAD to members of the death metal band KILL WITH HATE. A well-known name among lovers of heavy music in the underground metal scene, AWS was chosen from eight entries who made it through to the final round of the "A Dal" show. These acts were judged by a four-member jury consisting of well-known figures of the Hungarian music and art scene. Unexpectedly, AWS snuck into the super-final round in the company of three pop music acts to steal the show: in this final stage, people from all over the world were able to vote for their favorite artists. This is what ultimately earned the band its triumph: AWS knocked pop music out of its way with the help of metal fans to claim the first place. The dynamic winning song, featuring both clean and screamed vocals, was inspired by a family tragedy. Frontman Örs Siklósi comments: "'Viszlát Nyár' was put together in a summer camp in the company of a few bottles of wine. The lyrics are originally about my father, who passed away recently. We tried to make the video a little bit different. We didn't want it to be only about my story, so other band members can relate to it as well. We've emptied all our family video archives to demonstrate the passing of time and to stress how important it is to look after our beloved ones, because nobody's got too much time here to mess around." AWS also vowed to perform the song unchanged, with additional visual elements and the same intensity as it does when it plays for its fans. The world hasn't seen a metal band win the Eurovision Song Contest since Finland's LORDI shocked the audience with its brand of horror metal in 2006. It remains to be seen if AWS can repeat the feat. The Eurovision Song Contest grand final will be held in Lisbon, Portugal on May 12.

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