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#Food 4 thot
grendelsmilf · 11 months
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guy whose pronouns are me myself and i. so that whenever anyone talks about me it sounds like they are talking about themselves, but actually they are referring to me.
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anarzaabloodladen · 11 months
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Do you guys think commie would like kino idk
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ruleworld · 1 year
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call me weird n whatnot but i always wonder about centaurs and if their human halves have control of the horse halves. like... their bladders n stuff. do they just randomly shit wherever? do they clean up after themselves?
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youlookhigh · 1 year
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clownsnake · 1 year
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if it benefits you to think of something as art, even if it was likely not intended to be art, then why not call it art?
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duckiez · 1 year
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in case you guys are wondering why shidou is like that... he has a cancer stellium
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t00thpasteface · 3 months
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doodling mash bullshit and thought like "wow why did hawkeye's hair turn out so good here?" because it's a decade-and-a-half-old muscle memory you dumb bitch. that's why. also hawkeye is truly the ideal jones-bonnefoy lovechild when you think about it <-has never had a coherent thought about any of these characters in her life
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apeirophobia · 3 months
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putting these scenes back to back..... paul gross i am in your walls
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deesi-academia · 1 year
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OMG I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING.
When you put things in your queue of posts, and it shows up on the dash whenever, your past self is talking to the present self of people-
WE HAVE INVENTED TIME TRAVEL
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toothycreature · 10 months
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if anyone wants to torture me (sexual) just know that my voice cracks really cutely when i scream :3
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arttheclown · 1 year
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you know what would’ve made season 9 like a million times better. if they kept the grogar twist but it turned out discord’s intentions were to reform the villains along with trying to help boost twilight’s confidence LOL
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comradekatara · 2 years
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I know you don't need any affirmation irt being an asset if you were hired by bryke but GOD I wish u were, so badly
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novastrae · 1 year
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i think decima literally hunting the fatui for sport over the fact they got killed by them once abt 300-400 yrs ago and is subsequently banned from snezhnaya for it is so fucking funny
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sleepknoot · 2 years
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Mkay so according to TERFs, I'm not allowed to call myself "queer" but they're allowed to refer to themselves as the d slur and plaster it all over their blogs???? Okay.
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fever pitch (b.b.) - part two
previous part | series masterlist
soundtrack: lavender haze - taylor swift pairing: footballer!bradley x popstar!reader synopsis: you and Bradley go on a date. they say the wrong things --or right things-- and surprise each other as they get to know each other better. warnings: language, so much unresolved tension, mentions of character deaths, fluffy heartfelt stuff, but also like sexy stuff 👀 notes: i had so much fun writing this! special shoutout to @gretagerwigsmuse who had to deal with my annoying thots at all hours. comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated as always. happy reading! <3
✨I do not have a taglist. Please follow @ficsbygreenorangevioletgrass and turn on the notification to get the latest update on my fics✨
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Subject: Guest Attendance Confirmation From: [email protected]
Dear Madam,
Thank you for confirming your information regarding your upcoming visit to Annabel’s.
It is our pleasure to host you for your dinner reservation on the 23rd of March, 2023, as a guest of our member Mr. Bradley Bradshaw. We hope that you have a wonderful experience dining and entertaining at the Club with us.
In order to ensure your positive and memorable experience with us, we kindly ask all members and guests to be aware of a few key rules of the Club:
DRESS CODE. We encourage individuality and style in your smart attire. After 6PM, gentlemen are required to wear jackets. Read the full dress code guidelines here.
PHONE & PHOTOGRAPHY. As a Private Members’ Club, we kindly ask Members and Guests to refrain from taking photographs within the Club’s premises. Posting content to your social media from your visit to the Club is not permitted. Phones must be kept on silent at all times and are only permitted for use in limited areas of the Club.
For guidance, read the Rules & Bylaws of the Club here.
If you require further information or assistance, please do not hesitate to reach out through this email address or by phone at +44 20 7946 0011.
Thank you and see you soon.
Best wishes, Maude Adams Floor Manager.
***
You’re not sure why you’re bracing for something to go wrong.
The restaurant is rife with opulence, with rich chartreuse and bronze walls and Japanese-style paintings over classic British architecture. Bradley booked a little corner booth just off the fireplace, the privacy still granting a nice view of the grandiose bar across the room. He pulled up your chair and told you that you look beautiful—a good three or four times, and it feels just as genuine as the first. With your show and his training the next day, you both had to pass on the booze and settle with some green tea to go with your food. Conversation flows effortlessly, exploring easy topics like your shared love of old movies, the Venn diagram of your music tastes, the novelty of the sport that he plays…
“Okay, but how did you get into soccer—I mean, football?” You smile sheepishly as you correct yourself. “Sorry. Wouldn’t wanna get maimed to death by the locals.”
He laughs. “Don’t worry. You’re safe with me.” And then he takes a deep breath as his finger toys with the condensation on the side of his glass. “It’s… uh, my dad, actually. He bought me a soccer ball for Christmas when I was like 2 and… it’s most of the memories I had with him, playing kickabout in the backyard.”
“Oh?”
He smiles—diplomatically, all things considered. “He died when I was 4.”
Your face falls. Fuck. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry…”
“Nah, don’t be. It was a long time ago. And I feel like he’s with me every time I step on the pitch.” Bradley nods, ever so reassuring. He’s had enough ‘I’m sorry’s’ for every time his dad comes up in conversation, and he doesn’t want you to feel obliged to do the same.
“But hey, I think it’s wonderful… that he’s right there in spirit with you every game.” You smile back, trying to save this slip-up in conversation. “And I bet your mom’s really proud of you, right?”
To his own surprise, he chuckles. It really is true that tragedy plus time equals comedy. “I mean, I like to think so.” He notices your questioning look, and realizes he needs to let you in on the joke too. “My mom died when I was 17. Cancer. I moved out here and lived with my godfather. Got scouted for Arsenal.”
And there it is.
You’ve been so worried about all the external factors going wrong, that you didn’t consider that the faulty one might be you. 
The clinks of plates and cutleries suddenly become so loud. The subtle piano playing over the speakers sound garbled, like you’re underwater. And the salmon sashimi in your mouth tastes like lead now. How the fuck does lightning manage to strike twice?! 
“I’m sorry, I…” and now you can’t even muster up a proper apology, because what do you even say?! The only thing that comes out of your mouth is a lame excuse, “I… thought it was a good idea not to Google you.”
His heart catches at the sight of you, all wide-eyed and dumbstruck. You wouldn’t believe it if he told you, but he thinks he might have just fallen in love with you there. Foot in mouth and all.
But you… you think you must’ve looked so stupid right now. “Fuck. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed—”
“No, no, no. It’s alright!” Bradley quickly interjects, that twinkle of amusement in his eyes still lingers. “I appreciate it, actually. I’ll take awkward moments with you over anything else you can Google about me.”
“Really?”
He nods. “Of course. I mean… it’s not like you killed them, did you?”
There’s a split second of silence, when you meet his playful gaze, and his mouth pulls into a grin over your petrified look, and then… the tension simply melts away in a sigh of tentative laughs. The garbled underwater music has come up to the surface, the dining noises dissipates, and everything turns back to normal… ish.
“Anyway, what about yourself? How did you get into… all of this?”
“Oh, it’s all I’ve ever known, really. Pretty sure I sang before I knew how to talk. I was always pestering my mom about ballet and piano lessons and living room concerts… I was that kid, you know?”
The image makes him smile, and it sends butterflies to your stomach. “Your mom must’ve been thrilled.”
“Eh.” You shrug flippantly, and that non-answer is enough of an answer for Bradley. “But she knew I was stubborn as hell, and she’s better off letting me tire myself out than trying to stop me, so…”
“But you didn’t.”
You shake your head. “By 5, I was on Broadway—”
His jaw falls open, and he looks at you like grew a new head. “I’m sorry. Five years old?”
You raise your hand in defense, not wanting to oversell yourself. “To be fair, though, it was mostly luck. My mom was working in the theater company and they needed a kid, so I volunteered to stand in—I mean, naturally,” you roll your eyes at yourself, “And they liked me. So they put me on. But I didn’t have to do anything but pretend to be asleep while the adult cast carried me around.”
“Still. That’s more than most people can say. You continued doing it afterwards, right?”
“Mm-hm. Stage, commercials, TV, the occasional movies… anything I could get my hands on.”
Bradley studies you with this look of awe—not an unusual reaction, he’s sure; it’s a pretty impressive feat. But he also catches a lost sense of melancholy in the way you say it, and he can’t help but ask, “Did you have a childhood at all?”
And your heart catches. That’s something nobody ever asked you before… “What do you mean?”
He pauses, realizing he may have inadvertently touched on a sensitive subject with this line of questioning. So he tries again more carefully. “I just meant… you’ve been working most of your life. Did you ever just get to be a kid?”
“I…” you trail off, considering your answer. You want to say yes, of course you did, but the little sting in your throat makes you question yourself: did you?
And with the soft look in his eyes, you know he knows the real answer to that. Both of you do.
It’s alarming how disarming he can be, and you would hate it… except you don’t. At least not enough to make you run off. “I guess, being in that kind of environment, I didn’t really know how to be a kid…? If that makes any sense.”
Bradley nods, understanding. He’s not entirely sure how to respond, but he wants to be empathetic.
“I went to school and made friends for a while, but…” Normally this would be an uphill point in your story, but tonight… this part is tinged with distant sorrow. “I got a record deal when I was 15, and suddenly I was living in LA and working in the studio or going on tours and… I just wasn’t a kid anymore.”
It breaks his heart, the thought of a childhood lost on you like that. “Wow. You really have lived a life, haven’t you?” He can’t resist but reaches out for your hand. 
The touch makes your heart catch, and it feels overwhelming. It feels like you’re gonna burst, so you chicken out with a lame joke. “Haven’t slept in 22 years.”
Bradley can’t help but smile at that, squeezing your hand three times in comfort. And just like that, the bubble bursts and the world continues on its axis once again. He finishes his last slice of tuna tataki and washes it down with his konacha.
“You know, for how much you’ve done since you started out, I thought you’d be more… Hollywood.”
You raise an eyebrow in amusement. “Hollywood?”
“Okay, that came out wrong,” he admits bashfully. “I just… you’re very down-to-earth. And real. I guess I expected more, like, an attitude?”
“Oh? I can have an attitude…” you smirk coyly over your tea, “...if you can handle it.”
Fuck. You’re gonna be the death of him. It’s insane how easily you switch from being sweet and vulnerable, to flirty and borderline devilish. But he wasn’t born yesterday, and he knows he’s well-equipped to handle this back-and-forth.
“I think you’d be surprised by what I can handle.”
Oh, here comes the fun part. “Is that right?”
He nods, leaning into you a little bit from across the table. “I think you’d find a lot about me surprising.”
If the whiff of his Tom Ford Black Orchid catches you off-guard, you don’t show it. Instead, you mirror his body language, propping your chin on your knuckles for good measure. “Like what?”
God, he really wants to kiss you… but it’s way too soon, and he doesn’t know how you feel about public displays of affection. “Like… I’m a pretty decent cook. And I like reading.”
“An athlete who can read? My, my…” you smirk teasingly.
Bradley laughs. He walked right into that one. But he’s not ready to admit defeat yet. Instead, he makes use of that bedroom voice girls like so much to push the point further. “That’s right. I know how to use the washing machine, too.”
You bite your lower lip and sigh, shuddering a little from his low rasp but definitely playing up the dramatics. “You do? Mmh…” 
Jesus. If that’s you faking it, he can’t wait to make you all wet and needy for real. “And you wanna know the best part?”
You meet his gaze, and for a moment, the lustful tension is real. “Yeah?”
He leans in just a little closer, head tilting as if he’s moving in for a kiss. Maybe if he throws it out there… “I can put together Ikea furniture.” 
You throw your head back and feigns a quiet but dramatic moan for your one-man audience. “Oh my gosh, I think I just came in my pants a little.”
Fuck. He really wants to make you come now. With his fingers, his tongue, his cock—
Your gaze drops to his mouth, the stupid 80’s pornstache you’ve never been into before this, the soft inviting lips underneath. The ball is in your court now, and you know he would kiss you earnestly if you close the distance…
But you burst out laughing instead. Bradley releases the breath he didn’t realize he was holding, although your bright laughter doesn’t deter him from thinking dirty thoughts about you. If anything, it just makes you ten times hotter in his eyes.
“Well played. That was a good one,” Bradley concedes, his face turning just a little bit pink.
“We should probably stop before the staff kicks us out for having too much fun,” you lean back into your seat, looking around the restaurant, making sure no one is listening. Squeezing his hand three times as the next course arrives… not entirely putting the kiss off of the table either.
Bradley recommends the vanilla mille crepe to close the meal, and you come up with the idea of sharing a slice. The dessert arrives, a lush little golden brown thing with thin layers of cream in between, so simple and so intricate at the same time. He lets you take the first bite—insists upon it, actually. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do.
That, and he wants to watch your face twist in pleasure again. Eyes fluttering closed, chest falling in a sigh, lips parted ever so slightly... God, he can’t wait to be the one responsible for it.
“Amazing, right?” He beams at you, very pleased with himself.
“Mm, it truly is,” you hum in agreement, watching him take a bite. It gives you a naughty idea… “It’s so amazing, I might just hijack this whole thing.” You jokingly pull the plate a little closer to you.
Bradley playfully holds the plate back, looking faux offended. “Hey! Come on. You know I’m a little bit stronger than you, right?”
“Please. That’s never stopped me before.” 
“Really?”
“I have my ways…” your finger reaches out just enough to touch his, just slightly.
Between that and your eyes darkening in mischief, Bradley fights hard not to turn into goo under your slightest touch. He bites the inside of his cheek to contain himself. “You’re really making me earn this, aren’t you?”
“Why? Girls never gave you a hard time before, Mr. Big Time Football Man?”
He laughs. “No. But you’re probably the only one giving me this hard a time for a bite of dessert.”
“Is that all we’re playing for? A bite of dessert?” you smirk, egging him on.
“What else do you think we’re playing for here?” He takes a second bite, maintaining eye contact as he does so.
You take another bite and lick the cream off of your fork. “I don’t know. A bite of… something else?”
Ah. So we are interested. Bradley is unfazed as he gently warns you, “Careful. I might take you up on that.”
“Good. I was hoping you would.”
The tension rises as reality sinks in. You both want to fuck, and looking at the trajectory of the evening, there’s a good chance you will. And it sobers you the hell up, pulling you both straighter in your seats. Sharing the slice of cake in quiet civility. Keeping a completely respectable distance, as if worried you don’t trust yourself not to climb over the table and kiss him senseless. 
But the game… oh, the game is on.
“I don’t know about you, but… I was thinking maybe a few bites, though.”
“Oh?”
“Oh, yeah. I intend to explore every part of this… dessert.”
You stop chewing for a moment. There’s something so hot about how he says it so casually. “That’s… very optimistic of you.”
“Not optimistic enough to decide if kissing you out here was a good idea,” he admits sheepishly.
“Why is that?”
Bradley shrugs. “Just a hunch.”
He’s right, of course. He didn’t choose an ultra-exclusive, members-only establishment with a no-phone policy just for kicks. He sees the security detail that follows you around, lurking at a safe distance—from back at the club. And tonight, you’re traveling light with just two bodyguards, each strategically posted near you and the exit, but it’s still more than he’s ever encountered. There’s no way you would risk a first kiss in public, no matter how discreet the place is. No matter how much you like him.
And you like him a whole lot.
“Tell you what…” you put the fork down as quietly as you can. This is the moment of truth. “I’ll let you kiss me all you want back at my hotel, hm?”
Bradley’s eyes light up instantly. He takes a moment, not so much to consider his options, but to process what’s about to happen. “I would like that very much, yes.”
“Alright, then. Shall we?” you smile brightly, flagging the waiter for the check.
“Uh, yeah. Totally. We shall,” he stammers a little, recovering fast enough to snatch the check and slips his credit card in the tab. Barely addressing the waiter as they walk back to the till.
It all happens so fast, and you whine in complaint. “Oh, come on!”
“What, was I supposed to let you pay or something?”
“You were supposed to let me pretend to fight for it, at least…” you huff.
He smiles in amusement. You are so adorable, it makes his heart fucking swell. “Okay. Next time I’ll let you pretend. I’ll even give you a little pushback for good measure, how about that?”
“Perfect.”
“Now, let’s go back to your hotel and… I don’t know, pretend you have to try really hard to resist my charms.”
“Yeah, okay.” You chuckle in agreement. This is really happening. Wow. And just as the excitement sets in, another point of concern pops up in your head, like a really annoying notification. “Did you drive here or…?”
He nods. “You wanna take my car?”
“No, I got a car waiting for me…” you smile apologetically, glancing at her bodyguard. There’s no way they’re gonna let you jump into some guy’s car. “And there’s gonna be paps out front…” Here comes the tricky part. “Would you… mind if we… go separately and meet up at my hotel?”
Oh. Bradley’s face falls a little upon realizing that he can’t just walk out the door with you. He sees how this works. You don’t want the media to jump on this first date, and it’s actually a smart move. Besides, what’s a few more minutes to a whole night of complete privacy? “Sure, no problem.”
You nod tentatively. Well, that was surprisingly easy… “And just to be clear, this has nothing to do with you. It’s just… this whole thing can be a circus, and I don’t want you to deal with anything you didn’t sign up for.”
He smiles at you. Bless you for being so thoughtful, but it does make him wonder if other people have had trouble with it. But maybe that’s a question for another time. “Hey, I totally understand. We’ll just meet up at the hotel and leave it at that.”
“I’ll text you, okay?”
You squeeze his hand gently before you get up, making your way out of the restaurant. Powering through the camera flashes as soon as you walk out of the front door. Giddy because you know something these vultures don’t.
Meanwhile, Bradley sits. Waits. For one minute, and two, and three. Looking at people walking in and out, wondering how inconspicuous he would be if he walks out now.
And then…
His phone buzzes.
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MASTERLIST
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~ Lumi, late 20s, she/her ~
~ ALL works are 18+ only, minors DNI ~ Ao3 ~
~ Currently writing for Call of Duty MW2 ~
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SIMON “GHOST” RILEY
Thots/Drabbles/Musings (Deep-throating || Face-sitting || Sex with Simon)
Situationship-verse (Complete) Summary: What you have is undefined, and you never agreed to commit to each other. And yet…he haunts you. He resides inside you. You don't know where he ends and you begin. What you have may be undefined, and you may have never committed to him, but the day before you met him was the last day you were truly free. OR You enter into a situationship with Simon "Ghost" Riley and forget what your life was like before him. where Simon is both injured and blown || where you cook for Simon but the food’s not all he eats || where Simon makes you come before you have to go || where Simon introduces you to Ghost || where Simon teaches you a lesson || where it begins to end || where Simon grapples with futility || where you both find what was lost || DRABBLES: pissed off || gratitude || Valentine’s Day || somno || first & last
Alford Plea - Chef! Simon Riley x F! Reader Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Epilogue || Outtake
Coworker! Ghost x F! Reader Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4
Other Ghost tags Reaper! Ghost - Ghost is Death Himself. Work Rival! Ghost - enemies to enemies who fuck Toxic ex boyfriend Ghost
*******
Simon "Ghost" Riley x Johnny "Soap" MacTavish
we go where we want to first light || matinal ||
Land Softly - Bed & Breakfast Winter AU Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5
Other Ghoap tags Wedding crasher Soap - My best friend's wedding AU (kinda) (but Ghoap edition) Amnesia! Ghost - 50 first dates AU (kinda) Ghoap x Reader - PWP Ghoap x Military F! Reader Donner Party AU - Ghoap x F! Reader
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JOHNNY “SOAP” MACTAVISH
Thots/Drabbles/Musings (Messy eater || Baby fever || SFW Alphabet )
Entanglement - Soap MacTavish x Medic F! Reader Part 1 || Part 2 || 
Other Soap tags Feral Horny Soap Ghoap x Reader Sugar baby Johnny
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