#I HAVE PTSD AND PROJECTED ONTO CASEY

[cloudywithachanceofautism]

HERE ARE MY MAIN SIX ‘12 HEADCANNONS

Very slight nsfw

Raph

My boy is a bisexual king and we love him for that.

Has a massive praise kink, call him a good boy or how good hes doing and he’ll melt

Autistic (totally not projecting)

Listens to metal and is the embodiment of ‘can you feel my heart’ by bmth (again, really not projecting)

He has severe anxiety and since Leo’s coma it’s only worsened, Spike is the only one who actually knows but his brothers are onto it as well, because of the panic attacks

Has learned sign language, trash talks with Donnie.

They use he/they pronouns, has tried she pronouns but wasn’t comfortable

Transmasc, i saw the headcannon and I will forever stand by this too.

He feels at fault for Splinter’s death

They are polyamorous, no further explanation he just is.

Casey was his first kiss.

The brain worm left him with severe headaches and balance issues

PTSD

Loves gossipping, has in fact bonded with Karai and Shini because of it

And Mona is there to hear it

After Alopex joined the mutanimals, she, Casey, Raph and Mona became total besties.

Raph loves doing selfcare as a way of destressing, no one knows this except April

Wears eyeliner sometimes and helps Karai with hers too

Leo

This boy is so gay, like Fruity™️

Usagi comfirmed it

Karai knows and is number 1 leosagi fan

Uses mainy he/they pronouns, has sometimes used she pronouns too

BOTTOM WITH EMPHASIS ON BOTTOM

Can be soo sassy when he wants to be

Has PTSD

Really likes Imagine Dragons

Plays minecraft

They got stoned on pot brownies that Casey brought to the lair once

Kinda gets stoned more often now

But he’s responsible and only does it when hes at the farmhouse because of lesser threats, he, Raph and Casey do it together

Loves coffee more than tea

Mikey

Absolutely pansexual, like no debate

ADHD and dyslexic

Uses they/she pronouns but honestly doesn’t mind any

Defenitely sumn going on between them and Leatherhead, defenitely.

Has a giant pansexual flag in their room at her bedframe

Switch

Knows tons of languages like spanish, french and a little bit of german

Really dislikes the taste of coffee

She is terrifying when angry

Donnie

Biromantic ace no doubt no further explanation.

100% autistic

Uses he/him pronouns mostly but honestly does not care cus gender is a social construct.

Has gotten stoned with Leo sometimes

When it’s fall he’ll pester April to get a PSL every. Single. Day.

Casey

BI FUCKING SEXUAL, EMBODIMENT OF BISEXUALITY

He/she/they pronouns, very comfortable in his masculinity though.

Listens to P!ATD and jams out with Raph

He loves cuddles, like physical affection is his love language.

Hardcore stoner

Thinks Leo’s voice is super fucking hot

Does weightlifting next to hockey and is in fact strong enough to lift each of the turtles

Really wants to learn martial arts but he has no patience for the basics

April

She has severe anxiety after her dad got captured

Bonds with Raph best next to Donnie

Had an emo phase when she was 14

Wears contacts

She wanted to give her tessen to Karai, but Karai refused and told her to keep them.

She’s a lightweight, one glass of wine is enough

Has often checked on Raph after Splinter’s death, big sister mode™️ was very much activated

As a group+ other friends

They have game night every friday

When Casey and April stay the night, they all make breakfast together while jamming to their favorite music

When April asks for clothing advise, the boys will take it very seriously

They have a discord server , the main six have their own seperate channel called “the lair” but all their friends are in the server and can ask to be added to the call at any time.

They have given lair parties

During those parties they play games like ‘spin the bottle’ or ‘truth or dare’

Raph paints all the girl’s nails because of his steady hands.

Mona, April, Karai, Shini and Renet have girls nights on saturday, it makes Karai feel like a proper teen.

#tmnt 2012 april #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2012 raph #teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012 #tmnt 2k12 #tmnt 2012 donnie #tmnt 2012 casey jones #tmnt 2012 leo #tmnt 2012 mikey #tmnt headcanons #tmnt 2012 headcanons

[rise-tmnt-fan]

Story Title- Please Save Me

Note- That’s not my Art! I found it on Pinterest and thought it fit the story I’m writing if you know the artist please tell me so I give them credit!!

Warning-

This story is very angsty, and follows all the characters. (We mainly go between our four turtles but we do have a couple of chapters where we follow April, Casey, Hueso, Draxum and Usagi!)

Story Description-

It was hard trying to move on it felt like a part of them was with their brother in the prison dimension. Six months living their lives without Leo's stupid one-liners without his smiles, without his bragging. It was six months of hell for everyone mourning him in their own ways.

Donnie stuck to his lab overworking himself to forget that his brother wouldn't come bursting into his lab with some terrible one-liner.

Raph bounced between the training room, his room and Leo's room wishing Leo would just appear in front of him with his signature smirk telling him he fell for some terrible prank Leo had been playing on him.

Mikey bounced between the sewers and Draxum's apartment training to better his mystic powers, holding onto the hope that he'll be able to save Leo soon.

Splinter spent his time staring at pictures of his sons asking Mikey and Raph to tell him more about the things he should have known as their father.

And Leo... Leo just hoped his family was doing okay as he danced dangerously on the line between unconsciousness, consciousness, and death.

Story Timeline- It is technically set after the movie

Story Tags-

#TCESTDNI

#Leonardo-Centric

#Leonardo remains in the prison Dimension

#Donatello and Leonardo are Twins

#Donatello-Centric

#Autistic Donatello

#Good-Sibling Donatello

#Hurt Donatello

#Donatello Needs a Hug

#Raphael-Centric

#Protective Sibling Raphael

#Raphael has Anxiety

#Raphael has anger issues

#Hurt Raphael

#Raphael needs a hug

#Michelangelo-Centric

#Hurt Michelangelo

#Michelangelo has ADHD

#Michelangelo needs a hug

#Michelangelo is a type 1 diabetic

#April-Centric

#April needs a hug

#Casey-Centric

#Casey Jones has PTSD

#Casey Needs a hug

#Guilt

#Angst with a happy ending

#Angst and Hurt/Comfort

#Heavy Angst

#It Gets Worse Before it Gets Better

#Splinter tries to be a Good Parent

#Baron Draxum tries to Be a Good Parent

#The turtles need therapy

#Injuries

#This family is kind of broken but is trying

#Graphic Violence - That’s the Kraang’s fault really.

#Everyone gets their turn to shine

#Not Beta Read

Chapters so far (Updates as I update)-

5 Chapters as of March 19th

Extras- I try my best to focus on all the characters in this story, and would love constructive criticism both in the comics and here! This is also apart of a series but I started on the last story first. (Pretty unorthodox and might be frustrating to some but that’s how my funky funny brain works!) I’m trying to do weekly updates but I’m researching as I write to be as accurate as possible (mainly the injuries aspect!)

#save rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles angst #fanfic #link to ao3

[whizzvin-writes]

Everything is Perfect

TW: hinted ab*se, transphobia, anxiety attack

———————————————————————

“Uh, guys?”

Casey’s hesitance caused Taryn and Levi to look up. Both were caught by surprise, seeing as he had been silent for most of the night. A night out at the bar had become tradition between the three, and it occurred every Friday night. It helped them stay caught up in each others’ lives, or at least what lives they had besides medicine.

But what surprised the two by Casey speaking was how serious he looked. Casey Parker wasn’t known for being talkative on serious topics during Friday Night Fever, what Taryn called their get-togethers. His eyebrows were tightly knit, and anyone in that bar could see he was nervous.

“Yeah? What’s up, Case?” Taryn questioned, resulting in what appeared to be Casey curling in on himself.

It felt like he couldn’t breathe, but he pushed through anyway. He wasn’t going to break now, not in front of his friends.

“You know how friends share stuff with each other?” Casey glanced to meet the eyes of Levi, who’s confused expression made him feel guilty. “Well uh.” He faltered, trying to look for a distraction, or a connection, anything. “It’s-It’s not something I’m ashamed of, but I wanted to tell you guys that I... uh...”

Now, Casey wasn’t one to be nervous about coming out. He told his parents. He went through the bad reactions. And he doubted his friends would be unsupportive. But he still was afraid. The flashbacks of how his parents reacted flooded his memory, and he took a sip of his drink.

“I know I’m not the most open person, er, you guys know that. But I do want to talk to you guys because it’s important to me, and it’s who I am. And you guys are my best friends and I don’t know, I-“

His breathing sped up, going through each memory he had of each unaccepting reaction to coming out. Casey wasn’t normally like this, and how he was acting set something off in his friends.

Levi was the first to act, and he tried to use his voice to reach out to Casey.

“Casey? Can you listen to me?” Levi’s soft, but strong voice attempted to calm him down. “I don’t know what you’re trying to tell us, but you need to focus on breathing. Can you do that with me?”

Levi led Casey through a few breathing exercises he had learned over the years, and Taryn quietly removed the drinks from the table. If there’s one thing she knew, panicking friends and alcohol never mix well.

Casey began to calm down, and his friends stared back at him with worry bursting from their eyes. Taryn was the first to say something.

“Casey, you don’t have to force yourself to talk. We love your presence and know you’re not the most talkative when it comes to personal issues. But we’re here.”

He was frozen, but not really. His mind went back to when Dr. Bailey hadn’t treated him differently, and he felt as if he was going to cry from happiness. Casey nodded, and began to speak.

“I’m trans. Proudly, too!” He quickly added. “I mean, I AM a guy, and I know that.” Casey glanced down. “Just, I haven’t always had that group of support whenever I tell people. When I told my parents, they told me they’d never lose their little girl. Sucks, because they never had one to begin with. I’m their son.” He kept his eyes to the ground, just by the fact he was afraid of how vulnerable he was in the moment. “I’d rather people get to know who I am before they know uh, who people thought I was, if that makes sense. And I thought you two should know.”

Casey didn’t dare look up, even if there was only a 0.00001% chance that they would be upset with him.

“Just because I don’t want to mess it up, your pronouns are he/him?” Taryn questioned. Out of all the things he could’ve been asked, he wasn’t expecting that. Casey’s head shot up, studied her expression, and smiled. Then he just nodded. Taryn smiles back.

Levi laughed, “Casey, we’re literally the most LGBTQ+ group in the hospital! I mean, it would be kinda weird if you were both straight AND cis.” Casey laughed along.

“Oh so we’re just choosing to ignore the fact I’m bi myself?” He couldn’t hold it back. Taryn grabbed a napkin and threw it at him.

“Casey!!! Okay, that was a good one.” The three of them laughed, enjoying every moment of each other’s presence. Eventually, Taryn cleared her throat.

“But seriously, Casey. It means a lot that you told us this. You didn’t have to, but it shows how much you trust us.” She smiled. Levi hummed in agreement.

“And we’ll be here for you no matter what. I can probably get Nico to help fight your parents. Just sayin’.”

The group’s joy could be seen throughout the bar, down the street, and in the air. And with that, everything was perfect.

#greys anatomy #b-team #casey parker #CANON TRANS MALE #levi schmitt #taryn helm #I FORGOT QADRI #FUCK #self indulgent fic #angst #fluff #platonic #hinted schmico #bi casey #greys anatomy fic #anxious casey parker #ptsd casey parker #I HAVE PTSD AND PROJECTED ONTO CASEY #hinted ab*se #but nothing described

[brightlotusmoon]

When fic writers discuss their AU stories it probably looks like this

Me, outlining a part of a TMNT fic chapter briefly showing an alternate ending to the 2003 Lead Pipe Incident: Wait, this is getting complicated. Does Mikey striking back mean that Raph can't run off and meet Casey? Does Mikey run off and meet Casey now?

Also me: Okay but it's supposed to be not real, the entire idea is a projected what-if vision that the asshole Ancient One uses to fuck with the brothers so Mikey breaks down and Splinter feels more guilty, so it wouldn't matter. Except now all Raphs would be naturally subconsciously scared of all Mikeys in all timelines featuring psionics because of the basic implications and that's supposed to heap more onto the C-PTSD no matter what so what if-

Also me: Okay so oops now I think I wanna do a completely separate new fic about the Lead Pipe Incident where he both gets hit and strikes out and things go super wibbly wobbly and -

Also me: Oh my gods shut up you'll never get anything done and we still have that first 2018 fic to write like you promised

Also me: guys we still have that 2012 AU series finale to finish writing

Writerbrain: fuck all of you, I need a snack and a nap.

Writerbrain, later, utterly defeated: fine, expect a full and emotionally devastating Lead Pipe Incident AU fic um some day. After the 2018 Mikey Amnesia fic of course. Because we gotta do even more evil fic things with our insider expertise on TBI and TIA and neurological disabilities and ESP right? Right?

#hi i'm weird #tmnt #my fanfic #i have too many headcanons #the brightest fire #angst fic #ooops i'm going to torment mikey again #psychic mikey au #neurodivergent mikey #writing ninja turtles as neurodivergent symbolism #2003 mikey deserved better #writing is hard

[jatamansi-arc]

So, the movie Split. Let’s talk about that. And before I dump my spoiler-laden commentary about it beneath the cut, let me say this: about 60% of the problems I have with this movie were about how the clips they used manipulated the previews into a ‘Villain with DID Kidnaps Some Kids!!! CRAZY STUFF HAPPENS YEEHAW!’

Completely ignoring all my critiques for a second, what Split is actually about, is an allegorical tale on how complicated the nature of trauma is on the human psyche. But, with that, I’m gonna cut the rest.

Fair warning, talk of sexual abuse and violence and mental illness below. 

The trick with the trailer, is that what it shows you are exclusively things that happen within the first 20 minutes of the film. This doesn’t absolve it of any of its actual problematic elements, which trust me, there are still a lot of them. Like... I don’t even know where to start levels of ‘a lot of them.’ But I think if it had been more honest about the content of the film, people would have had a much better idea of what to expect going in. It plays on the stigma to get you in. That’s gross as fuck. But at least it’s not like... two hours of torture porn, either?

Like I said, I wanted to watch it without giving any money, because I’m trained as a historian and it’s like... they really push that whole ‘come to your own conclusions with what the source gives you’ thing. Which, while we’re on that subject?

What this film is actually about, is trauma, triggers, and respect (or that lack thereof.) The writing of the DID is ridiculous and grossly problematic, and I won’t sit and sing praises of M. Night for it. You’re not gonna find that here. There were a lot of things that could have been done differently -- much better -- so that we didn’t have to rely on an already stigmatized population to tell the message the story is getting at. Because while this film exists as an allegory, and a metaphor in and of itself, most people are too oblivious to read between the cracks to see any of that. Just ‘PERSON WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES IS TOTS CRAY AND KIDNAPPING WHEEE!’

So, I’m gonna just lay out what the trailer doesn’t as bluntly as possible. 

The actual breakdown of the character of Kevin is this: beginning in late toddlerhood, Kevin begins to be viciously abused and beaten by his mother. This trauma eventually results in a split, to which Dennis is the first, who studies and learns what behaviours will keep Kevin’s mother at bay and develops characteristics in line with several anxiety disorders. As they grow older, Dennis, despite protecting Kevin from his mother’s abuse, begins to show problematic paraphilias. How the rest of his “alters” come about is not said in film, but what is later implied is that, once Kevin learns what are healthy coping mechanisms are from his therapist (before the professional portion of the relationship goes belly up, but I’ll get to that later), that his “healthier minded” alters do not allow Dennis to front for this reason. Nor do they allow Patricia to either, who is another alter, because of her manipulative and aggressive behaviour.

The alters (which I’m not going to put in quotes beyond the above, because it’s 3am, but assume they are there) you see in the trailers? Those are Dennis, Patricia, and Hedwig (who is apparently nine and easily impressionable.) Who they don’t show, but you see in the film, are a few other alters in diary entries that last about 30 seconds to a minute a piece:

Jade: Shown that this alter has diabetes and has to take insulin. Their journal entry is complaining about how hard it is to obtain insulin, because doctors refuse to take their condition seriously at all. Barry: Enjoys fashion and “has control” of the system. Or used to. Seems to be extroverted and is the one that their therapist seems to have most contact with. Is coded as being a gay, overly feminine guy very overtly, which ughhhhhh. Orwell: You see this alter twice and literally, speaking as an autistic person, if Orwell is not meant to be read as autistic, I will eat my own shoe. Obsessed with history and Islam, from what I gathered.

That said? Here’s some other relevant... idk. Relevant something:

#1) The girls Dennis kidnap, outside of Casey, are the very same girls that ended up triggering Kevin into this downward spiral. Doesn’t make what happens to them okay, and it certainly doesn’t explain the behaviour of a grown ass man, but there you go. They ‘prank’ Kevin, triggering him and forcing him to confront his traumas without prior warning. This fractures the system he has in place and allows for Dennis to take control, and sick of being mistreated, him and Patricia set about unleashing ‘The Beast.’

The Beast, by the way, is literally the personification of the anger and resentment Kevin feels at being abandoned by his father, because I imagine it meant many more years of abuse that could have been perhaps been avoided. He exists not in the ‘room with the chairs’ where all the alters seem to metaphorically sit, but in Kevin’s memories of the train station his father left him at. Basically, I don’t think he’s meant to be an “alter” insomuch as just a feral combination of trauma and rage that wasn’t properly treated or healed because the therapist was too busy preening over her own career.  

( Which, well, I was abandoned with my stepfather by my mother and abused sexually/physically/mentally/etc. repeatedly for years by him -- which lead to partial fragmenting of my personality -- and honestly, I think that’s the hardest part of my trauma/PTSD component to reconcile with? So maybe that’s why I’m reading it that way. )

#2) Casey is a survivor of sexual abuse and the talk of being ‘pure’ and ‘impure’ has less to do with what those words mean and more to do with the fact that The Beast is relating that she understands what trauma is capable of doing to someone. Literally, he spares her because ‘oh, you get it.’ Then he walks away, laughing. Alrighty. If you say so. 

The good thing that comes about from this, is that by tearing her clothes in the climax (which you think is kind of pedo-y fanservice at first)  exposes the scars she has from years of dealing with her own abusive guardian. They are noticed by the medical staff in the ambulance, and through her reluctance to go with her uncle, it is implied that they take her somewhere safe for her to recover. Which may be the only positive of this entire fucking movie, and even then it’s like jesus christ. 

#3) The therapist in this is hella flawed. Like she sits and glorifies her patients as showing us what the mind/body connection is capable of and at first you think maybe there is going to be a decent rebuttal to the fuckery of how it’s portrayed in Kevin at some point. Nope. She projects her own problems and desire to be recognized for greatness onto her patients and Dennis in particular misreads this as cues about the Beast. 

( I actually liked the therapist character for all the wrong reasons because I recently had a fucking psychologist who started projecting her feelings about her daughter onto me as a patient and how confusing and frustrating it was for me to navigate as someone who had been recently diagnosed with PTSD and had literally just survived almost being strangled to death a few months prior. )

So, that said? Is it a good movie? The story is weak and problematic as fuck but also not as literal as the trailer implies but also like worse in other ways? The upsides are that the acting is actually good and so is the cinematography. Literally probably the entire reason I sat through the whole thing and didn’t get bored at the 45 minute marker. That and I literally was confused for two hours by how well James pulls off a South Philadelphian accent (I lived in Camden for awhile, so.)

Basically? I’ve seen worse film-wise, and the acting is definitely like 10 Beefy James McAvoy Arms, but the marketing relied on the whole ‘mentally ill people are always violent’ thing to bait you, but then gives you a bunch of other problematic shit to irritate you with until you, too, develop Beefy James McAvoy arms and an urge to smash shitty portrayal of mental illness in 2017. I would see it to draw your own conclusions, because I’m a big one about doing that sort of thing, but I would further suggest not paying for it if that’s possible. 

Side note: Wasn’t Taylor-Joy in The VVitch? I swore I recognized her terrified face from some other movie I’d seen recently. Idk. Speaking of movies that are basically torture porn. D:

#ooc #pls don't kill me #i wanted to write something critical about this #i'm sorry people w/ did #i'm bipolar w/ ptsd #and schizophrenia runs in my family #i hear you trust me #like how do films like this get greenlighted in this day in age #like my grandmother w/ schizophrenia *was* actually violent #and even still? #like pls stop #can you do a film about these subjects without exploiting and demonizing us further maybe