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nitroish · 3 years

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How do you think the boys react to being sick?

i got u

warriors: badly. wartime sickness leaves something to be feared, and he probably does not have good memories of it. it spreads fast and hits hard, especially in barraks and camps. a cold? fine. sure. he can deal with that, as can the rest of them. if its anything more? he does not process or deal with it well. a lot of soldiers died because of sicknesses. hed be scared of getting anyone else sick in the chain (or getting sick from someone else), even going as far as to refuse help and trying to independent his way through it for fear of getting any of them sick.

legend: fine. sickness is common in his hyrule. he probably tries to do things on his own through his being sick, just like he had when he was alone on most of his other adventures. tries to tough through it until it gets too bad. he doesnt get sick often much anymore because of all the traveling he did kind of, in a way, boosting his immune system, but it hits hard when he does, coupled with dangerous fevers spiking in those first few 100s. +kakariko is riddled with sickness at least once a year or every few years - thats how sick season works. it hits the area pretty hard but he lives far enough away hes not too affected - hes basically in quarantine at home on accident anyway. (though, he often gets what he calls 48 hour colds, which are colds that barely last two days or so.)

sky: hes fine, but a better fine definition than legends. he volunteers to mother hen the others when theyre sick and tries being as careful as possible when Hes sick so as not to get others sick (again or spreading). he lived on a small island, lots of exposure to Eachother, but not alot of exposure to Sicknesses. he had to be careful; most of his worst sicknesses were when he first went down to the surface, and he didnt want to drag especially bad ones back to skyloft when he went home.

time: he absolutely fucking despises it with a very big passion and every inch of his being. he gets all huffy and bitter when hes sick and doesnt want to be bothered or bother anyone else. he chugs a potion and lets it run its course and hopes that it stops Fucking Immediately Right Now Or Else. /threat. sicknesses dont sit right with him or his body and a cold feels like his body is aching and sore constantly. his bones hate him for moving when hes sick, and mentally he isnt doing so great either. plague is not unheard of in any hyrule and he thinks 'oh sweet hylia other hyrules are going to have other sicknesses' and immediately wishes he were home with malon again.

wind: depends, but decent! he does not like being sick - especially around the chain. they already baby him enough, in his opinion, and hed rather busy himself with other '''more important''' things than let them focus on how hes sick. back on the boat, sickness was like war's experience: it hit fast, and it hit hard. it swept across the boat to everyone, weather all at once or one at a time or in small groups. he usually tried toughing it, but being sick on a boat and also on sea was always somehow a little worse. there wasnt alot of medicine on ships. back home on his island there werent many people to get sick from or to give sickness too. and he does not want to get his grandma or aryll sick so hed stay someplace else or refuse letting people in his loft. his grandmas soup while he was sick though? amazing. aryll would deliver it sometimes if he stayed elsewhere to ride it out.

wild: "wait hes sick?" is his shtick. he wont really notice until its sending him into a fitful rest and he thinks he feels ten degrees warmer than he should. he, like time, hates being sick. being in the wild and learning how to cook in the wild with. wild ingredients, he probably got sick often, though. hed cook his favourite comfort meal, settle down at the fire, and wait it out or wait until he felt better. it was nice, because he could make his own potions as well. other times, if he thinks he doesnt have time, he downs a stamina and goes on his way. it all depends on the surrounding timeframe and what he has to do and how soon it must be done.

twilight: whine whine whine whine motherfucker. he, ALSO like time, despises getting sick with a passion. he wants to go home and lay in his treehouse of a house and not be bothered until it passes. he likes laying around until hes no longer sick and sheds like eighty percent of his clothes (including the pelt, he doesnt want it stickin to him when he gets all sweaty. ew.) because runs hot when he gets ill. hes not hesitant to let people help him, though, because he knows the more help he gets or the more he helps himself, the quicker he could get better. he worries for a total of ten minutes about getting someone else sick, and then sees they made him soup and forgets it entirely. soup!!!!! thank you :).

hyrule: fine. the downfall duo... neither of them handle it more than 'fine'. hyrules been sick a few times, or maybe a lot of times, and never has it been pleasant. (thats how it goes, though.) magic helps, sort of, sometimes, and potions do as well. potions are a commodity, though, so he uses them sparingly. towns are cautious when someone rolls in while theyre sick, and its a bit weird and overwhelming. prices for medicine is expensive as well. lots of sickness, lots of money spent on medicine. he doesnt like being sick, and especially doesnt likemaking other people sick.

four: depends on the colour but they collectively handle getting sick the best! blue and/or green usually deal with being sick in general, when possible. red gets miserable and emotional while hes dealing with it, which is obviously Not Very Four Of Them(tm). youd assume vio is good at dealing with it, but he gets snappy and tired of people existing around him. he wouldnt be good at being around the chain while sick - hed rather be in bed, alone, with a book and a drink. green usually keeps around, and then blue is somewhere in the mix just so greens not dealing with it alone. so they split it, or blue can take the brunt of the sickness and leave the conversion pieces to green. blue gets too tired to be angry as well, so it kind of works out.?still snarky and cracking dumb jokes that make green have to stifle a laugh, but sickness is sickness. they want to lay down and take care until its passed. they miss eachother very much physically when any of them are sick x100. if they could split, they would.

#ask #anonymous #tw sickness #hc tag

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joyful-soul-collector · 3 years

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Questions about me

Thank you to @nazezdha321 for “tagging” me (more of a “if you see this and wanna play you should situation but shshshssssshhhhh it looked fun ok)

1. what is the color of your hairbrush?

Blue, like my hair

2. name a food you never eat

Brussel sprouts and tomatoes. Just, no.

3. are you typical too warm or too cold?

Too cold, always and all the time, I need like 3 blankts on me at all times to make it through winter and two the rest of the year. All of this is while wearing pants and a sweater.

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Talking to a friend online, still doing that haha

5. what’s your favorite candy bar?

I love chocolate tbh, probably something like kit kats? Plain chocolate is great too though

6. have you ever been to professional sports event?

Nope

7. what is the last thing you said out loud?

“Ok I’m gonna head to my room, have fun guys!” My sister’s boyfriend is here, they’re watching a movie together in the livingroom.

8. what is your favorite ice cream?

Hmmm, I really love chocolate. There’s a place in my town that has a kind with brownie bits and fudge swirled in, it’s amazing, I love that one

9. what was the last thing you had to drink?

Some water, it’s in a cup next to me haha

10. do you like your wallet?

Eh it’s alright, I mean it works. It’s a bit too big, I gotta get a smaller one, but it’s alright!

11. what is the last thing you ate?

Some tortilla soup for dinner

12. did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

Nope, I haven’t bought new clothes since summer, and even then it was like two shirts.

13. what’s the last sporting event you watched?

I don’t even remember, I haven’t watched sports in years. I don’t care for them and neither does my family, so we don’t watch them

14. what is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

I love super buttery popcorn. And this isn’t really a flavor, but I love it with chocolate drizzled on top

15. who is the last person you send text message to?

Uhhh I sent a message to @baloobird on discord? But I haven’t texted using like, my phone number in a looong time

16. ever been camping?

Nope, unless you count out in the backyard

17. do you take vitamins?

No, I haven’t for a while, we haven’t bought any since like YEARS ago

18. do you regularly attend a place of worship?

Nope

19. do you have a tan?

Not anymore, haven’t been outside very often at all.

20. do you prefer chinese or pizza?

Pizzaaaaaaa

21. do you drink your soda through a straw?

Yeah but just because we only buy it when we go out to eat, and they always give you soda in a cup with a straw. I haven’t drank from a can in forever, we never buy them.

22. what color socks you usually wear?

Black. I have some fluffy socks that are red and white, but I only wear them in Christmas time

23. do you ever drive above the speed limit?

Yeah but only by a few miles at most

24. what terrifies you?

The idea of old bullies coming back somehow, the idea of my family being hurt somehow, and never being able to make and keep good friends for longer than a couple years. Those are a few that I know off the top of my head.

25. look to your left, what do you see?

My teddy bear I keep on my bed for my bad anxiety days. He’s very huggable

26. what chore do you hate the most?

Hmm. I don’t like doing the dishes for sure, I have to do that every day, or sometimes every other day if there’s not many to do. Don’t like laundry or shoveling the driveway when it snows either

27. what do you think when you hear australian accent?

The movie Rescuers Down Under

28. what’s your favorite soda?

Sprite. I don’t drink soda very much, i can’t remember the last time I had something OTHER than Sprite

29. do you go in a fast food place or just hit drive through?

Usually drive thru, we don’t like eating in places, even before the pandemic haha

30. what’s your favorite number?

24. No idea why, I’ve just been attached ever since I was little. When I was like 3-4 I would answer all math questions, mainly grown-ups asking me “what’s 2+2?” with 24. No clue why.

31. who’s the last person you talked to?

Online would be @baloobird, irl would be my family at dinner a little while ago

32. favorite meal?

Fettucine Alfredo... god my stomach’s rumbling just thinking about it haha, I haven’t eaten in a couple hours

33. last song you listed to?

Crumbs by Belaganas. It’s the only song by them I have on my playlist because @tracle0 recommended it to me. It reminds us of my OC Tatum.

34. last book you read?

Reread a bit of my favorite comic called Saga

35. favorite day of the week?

Saturdays, i usually get some time to myself then. I didn’t get that this Saturday though, too much work it spilled out into the weekend, but I did get a little today.

36. can you say alphabet backwards?

Nope haha

37. how do you like your coffee?

So sweet it barely even tastes like coffee.

38. favorite pair of shoes?

My mismatching red and blue converse with black laces.

39. time you normally get up?

7:30am

40. what do you prefer, sunrise or sunset?

Sunrise. Everything is quiet and you’re still a little sleepy and it’s probably a bit cold if you’re on the beach, and that’s perfect.

41. how many blankets on your bed?

Three because I’m a touch-starved bag of twigs that’s constantly cold.

42. describe your kitchen plates.

Some are blue and are made of plastic, some are white and made of ceramic or glass or whatever cheap plates are made of.

43. describe your kitchen at the moment.

Lots of cabinets, an old toaster oven and a stand up mixer in the corner, window over a deep sink, next to that a dishwasher. Counters are a brown marbley kind that make it impossible to tell if it’s dirty or not.

44. do you have a favorite alcoholic drink?

Not old enough to drink, nope

45. do you play cards?

Eh? My family likes 3-13 and Egyptian war, but board games are our favorite.

46. what color is your car?

We have two, both every very old. One is a red little one, the other is a tan minivan.

47. can you change a tire?

Nope, should probably learn to do that at some point

48. your favorite state or province?

I... don’t know. I’ve moved around quite a bit, live in different parts of CA, lived up in WA, now I live in PA. I’d say WA because it feels like I can relate to a lot of people there, like WA people are my kinda people ya know? And it’s so beautiful and has just so many things I love in it... But that’s also where most of my bullies were. So every time I think about it it always has that shadow because I was miserable half the time. But PA isn’t my favorite because the people here are so different from me, and CA isn’t my favorite because my extended family lives there and they’re Very Not Cool. I’ve had bullies in both those places as well too, but not as bad as WA. So uh... I don’t know, I suppose.

49. favorite job you’ve had?

Never had a job unfortunately, my parents said I couldn’t get one till after High School cuz they wanted me to focus on school, and then, halfway through my senior year, a pandemic happened. Yay Class Of 2020! Anyway, I haven’t gotten a job because if I don’t need it, I don’t want to get one and potentially but myself, my family, and other people at risk, even though having the extra money would be nice.

Tagging: @tracle0 @baloobird @jelly-pies @silver-bubbles @mysterycheerio @shadedrose01 and everyone else who wants to do it! Feel free to tag me and say I tagged you haha

#about me #tag game

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drlaurynlax · 5 years

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How to Prep for a Colonoscopy Naturally?

Preparing for a colonoscopy is no fun task—especially if you want to do it holistically or you follow a Paleo or Autoimmune Protocol (AIP diet).

If you’re wondering “what to eat” or what to expect the day before a colonoscopy (and how to survive with a holistic colonoscopy prep), here’s all you need to know.

Standard Colonoscopy Prep Instructions

In the big scheme of things, colonoscopy prep and procedure really only involves about 48-hours of your time.

In order for the doctor to be able to fully see clearly into your colon with the scope, all needs to be clear, which means:

Fasting for about 24 hours prior to the colonoscopy

Ingesting a large amount of special “poo juice” (i.e. stool softeners and laxative)

And making friends with the toilet for the latter part of the day

Some doctors will suggest you eat a softer foods diet at least 3 days prior to the appointment in order to make things easier to pass and this can be helpful, but may not be 100% necessary to do.

Unfortunately, however, colonoscopy prep ALSO typically includes some non-holistic rituals that can make one who is used to eating a real food, Paleo or AIP-based diet think twice.

Additional (Non-Paleo Friendly) Colonoscopy Prep Recommendations

Non holisitc colonoscopy prep instructions the day before your exam may include:

Drinking Gatorade and Propel to re-hydrate with electrolytes

Sucking on sugary popsicles and candies

Eating Jell-O

Drinking Kool-Aid and sodas

In other words: Starve.

You Can Do Anything for a Day

True, your fasting colonoscopy prep diet is really ONLY for a day (you can do anything for a day—even buck your usual “norm”!), but, if you’re NOT used to blood sugar rushes, food dyes and artificial sweeteners, even one day of these things can feel long and agonizing.

If anything, the MAIN objective of your colonoscopy prep is ONE thing:

Stay hydrated and keep your electrolytes in balance.

—Which is EXACTLY where I personally went wrong. I’ll briefly share with you what I did “wrong” during my Colonoscopy Prep—and how it went down—then give you a play-by-play of steps to take and what to eat in order to have an amazingly easy Colonoscopy.

My Colonoscopy Prep Gone Wrong: What NOT to Do

Long story short: My colonoscopy prep went south QUICKLY because I missed ONE step—I failed to ingest ENOUGH electrolytes during the day!

The result? A midnight trip to the local Emergency Room where I spent 3 hours with my body in “shock” from dehydration as the ER staff nourished my electrolytes back to balance with an IV pump.

I’ll admit, when I saw the words “Gatorade” + “Miralax” as part of my colonoscopy prep, I did not think TWICE about substituting out water for the Gatorade.

I don’t remember the last time I drank Gatorade.

However, looking back on it, I understand WHY the docs prescribe the artificially sweetened beverage—electrolytes.

Electrolyte 101

Your body loses a TON of water, sodium and potassium during the Prep do to all the poo you will be doing. If you DON’T have enough of these minerals, then you can bet your bottom dollar that your body will be in shock!

I Went into Shock

Somehow, I managed to make it the whole day, just fine, no real difficulties, minus hating going #2 every 45-60 minutes near the later hours of the day.

However, come 10 pm as I laid my head down on my pillow to rest, it all of a sudden hit me:

Lightheaded and dizzy

Cold sweat on my brow

Heart beating faster

Shortness of breath

I thought I was having a “low blood sugar” dip from not eating all day, so I raced downstairs to try to get some last minute nourishment in before I was restricted from all liquids at midnight for am 7 am procedure.

Ten-minutes later, I began walking back up the stairs to climb back in bed, and the next thing I knew, I knocked on the door to my mom’s room who was in town to help me out, saying, “Mom, I don’t feel well…” and…

Passing out. On the floor.

To say the least, the event was very traumatic, as I began shaking and convulsing on the floor.

“Lauryn! Lauryn!” my mom cried, and the next thing I knew, the paramedics and ambulance was there to “save the day.”

The prognosis? Severe dehydration and electrolyte imbalance.

I was rushed to the ER where I was “rehydrated” and nourished with IV fluids, while hunger pains and lightheadedness still continued (I couldn’t wait to eat) and I was encouraged to stick out the procedure—only a few more hours to go.

I managed to “make it through,” find out some much-needed information about my own gut health that’s been awry for a LONG TIME —and decide I don’t want to go through that for a LONG TIME.

However, looking back on it all, had I followed the following advice I am about to give you here, I would have been just fine!

The Moral of the Story

In short: Bring on the coconut water, sea salt and Ultima powder! (hydration and electrolytes)

The good news? Yup, you (or I) don’t have to turn to just Gatorade to get these electrolytes.

Don’t let my colonoscopy prep story scare you, but INSTEAD use it to encourage you in HOW to prep for your colonoscopy holistically—especially if you are looking for a Paleo or AIP-friendly approach to doing so.

Holistic Colonoscopy Prep in 3 Steps—Paleo & AIP Friendly

Step 1: Begin Eating Easy-to-Digest Foods 1-3 Days Before Your Prep Day

This step is not ESSENTIAL, but most folks don’t complain when they DO eat with “easy digestion” in mind 1-3 days leading up to the Colonoscopy Prep Day.

Essentially, this means, avoiding some harder to digest foods like:

Nuts & Seeds

Raw Veggies & Raw Fruits

Breads, Crusts, Crackers & other Grains/Glutenous Foods

Pork (slower digesting protein)

Aim to eat:

Smoothies

Bananas, cooked apples or pears/apple sauce

Cooked, sautéed and steamed veggies (cauliflower mash, steamed broccoli, sautéed greens, etc.)

Starchy tubers (cooked and cooled)

Shredded and flaky meats and fish

Pastured eggs (if you tolerate eggs)

Healthy fats (avocados, ghee, butter, coconut butter, etc.)

Some directions will tell you to “AVOID” meats, coconut, avocado and leafy greens, but I found by prepping these well, I had no issues personally with keeping to my usual diet.

Step 2: Stock Up on These Goods & Prep Any Foods You Need

Hit the store a day or two before your prep to ensure you’ve got the goods you need.

Grocery List

Coconut Water

Vital Proteins Collagen Protein or Equip Protein Powder

Cold Pressed Green Juice

Ultima Lemon Electrolyte Powder

Bone Broth

Gelatin & Fresh-Squeezed Juice (NO red, blue or purple)—to make “Jell-O” or popsicles

Sea Salt (add liberally to your broths and juices)

Foods you love for your Post-Colonoscopy meals since you’ll be taking it easy that day. Some ideas:

Green Smoothie: Coconut Milk, 1/2 Banana, 1 Scoop Protein, Greens, 1/2 Avocado

Shredded Chicken, Sweet Potato, Greens, Coconut Butter

Canned Wild Salmon, White Sweet Potato with Ghee, Asparagus

Ground Turkey (sausage), Butternut Hash, Steamed Broccoli

Pastured Eggs (scrambled), Mushrooms, Avocado, Spaghetti Squash

Meatloaf Muffin, Cauliflower Mash

AIP Pumpkin Muffin with Coconut Butter, Chicken Apple Sausage

Chicken & Veggie Bone Broth Soup

After your grocery run, take an hour or so to prep a few goodies to have on hand for your “Prep Day.” Here are some ideas:

Holistic Recipes for Colonoscopy Prep Day

Easy Paleo Jell-O by Wellness Mama

Homemade Popsicles-AIP, Paleo

Golden Milk Popsicles by My Heart Beets

The Ultimate Coconut Popsicle by Coconut Mama

Bone Broth Soup by Phoenix Helix

Green Juice by Stupid Easy Paleo

Step 3: Eat & Drink THIS on Colonoscopy Prep Day

Technically, you are told to stick to liquids only on prep day. In my personal experience however, I ate my typical breakfast of turkey sausage, avocado, pan fried greens and roasted carrots before 9 a.m. on my prep day—and am glad I did because I don’t think I would have made it.

The good thing? I was fully clear by that time and prepped for my 7:00 am procedure.

Here’s a sample idea of what to eat in the 24-hours leading up to the procedure.

8:30 a.m, (20-24 hours before): Eat a balanced real-foods meal

12 p.m,: 8-12 oz. Coconut Water or Lite Coconut Milk with Collagen/Protein Powder; Green Juice Prep: Take Ducolax Tablets

1 p.m.: Begin Miralax Prep in Water with Ultima Powder. Drink 8 oz. of the prepared prep

mixture every 15 minutes for a total of 32 oz. (HALF OF PREP MIXTURE). Add a pinch of sea salt to your mix.

3 p.m.: 16-20 oz. Bone Broth with Collagen & Sea Salt, Gelatin “Jell-O” or Popsicles (made with Green Juice)

4 p.m.: Take 2 Ducolax Tablets with some Coconut Water & Sea Salt

5 p.m. Prep #2: Drink 8 oz. of the prepared prep mixture in Ultima every 15 minutes until the last 32 oz. are finished. Add a pinch of Sea Salt to your mix.

6 or 7 p.m.: 16-20 oz. Bone Broth with Collagen & Sea Salt, “Jell-O” or Popsicles

9:30 or 10 p.m.:Ultima Powder in Water or more Jell-O or Bone Broth if “hungry”

Aim to “eat” every 2-3 hours, and drink liquids with electrolytes throughout the day. You will be “liquid full,” but to keep hunger at bay, incorporate collagen and protein via broth or powder in the day.

Bonus: Day of the Colonoscopy

You can’t eat or drink anything (except maybe suck on some ice chips), the day OF the colonoscopy (at least 2-4 hours before the procedure) so your food doesn’t mess with the anesthesia.

That said, I KNEW I was pretty hungry going into my colonoscopy, so went ahead an prepared my post-procedure meal—one of my faves:

Post-Colonoscopy Meal

Ground Turkey Patty with smashed Avocado

Roasted Rainbow Carrots

Pan-Sauteed Greens in Coconut Oil

—My doc said I could go back to eating regular foods as tolerated, and I was able to tolerate this just fine.

As a back up, I kept a Banana with Coconut Butter, Green Juice and simple Beef Isolate Protein Powder to mix up on hand IN CASE I couldn’t stomach food…but I was golden (and never as happy to eat again as I was after everything was said and done).

The End

Voila!

Before you know it, your colonoscopy will come and go, and you’ll be back to your norm—doing what you love to do.

My GREATEST colonoscopy “mishap” was NOT drinking enough electrolytes during the day (since I thought water could replace Gatorade). Had I ensured I got my electrolytes in through coconut water and more holistic powders (like Ultima), I believe my experience would have been a breeze!

After the procedure, I slept for about 2-3 hours on the couch at home after eating—so thankful to be well-fed—and then popped up, ready to start the day!

While I did take the day off from my usual routine (driving, gym, etc.), I did go to town with spring cleaning my apartment, stretching at home with my own yoga practice and working on my latest book outside in the beautiful spring sunshine.

You will be JUST FINE and live to tell about it…just don’t forget to hydrate 🙂

The post How to Prep for a Colonoscopy Naturally? appeared first on Meet Dr. Lauryn.

Source/Repost=> https://drlauryn.com/hormones-metabolism/how-to-prep-for-a-colonoscopy-naturally/ ** Dr. Lauryn Lax __Nutrition. Therapy. Functional Medicine ** https://drlauryn.com/

#Holistic #Nutrition #Therapy #Recovery #Functional #Medicine #Dr. Lauryn Lax #Dr.Lauryn

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dotcreative · 2 years

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What are the tips for quick recovery after wisdom teeth removal?

When a wisdom tooth causes some discomfort in your daily routine, you need to get the wisdom teeth removed. The process does not end here; you need to follow some of the tips and tricks to get it healed quickly to initiate your daily routine.

What are wisdom teeth?

Wisdom teeth are the last set of permanent teeth that usually appear between the age of 17 and 24. Wisdom teeth do not form in some persons and create no difficulties in others.

When is it necessary to extract wisdom teeth?

When wisdom teeth emerge in adulthood, the rest of the teeth in the mouth have already been established. When four huge teeth arrive, the mouth sometimes does not have enough area. So, the teeth are unable to penetrate the gums or might become misaligned at times and require extraction. Wisdom teeth can also become impacted. Impacted wisdom teeth cause pain by pushing on other teeth.

It also can produce various issues for a healthy mouth such as infections, bad breath, teeth and bone damage in the surrounding area, jaw pain, gum disease, etc. The Dentist in Kolkata may advise you to have your wisdom tooth extracted to avoid these dental complications. Approximately 65 percent of persons have wisdom teeth, and 85 percent require extraction surgery.

Suppose a person visits the Dental Clinic in Kolkata regularly as an adolescent and early adult. In that case, the Dentist in Kolkata will be able to monitor how the wisdom teeth develop and predict whether there will be any complications.

Tips of quick recovery after wisdom teeth removal

If you are about to have a tooth extracted, I have provided some vital tips here that will aid in the healing and comfort of patients after wisdom teeth extraction.

Get plenty of rest: You may endure swelling, bruising, and discomfort after having your wisdom teeth out. If this is the case, use antibiotics or pain relievers prescribed by your dentist to alleviate any discomfort. When it comes to long-term healing, it's advisable to go slowly at first before returning to your regular schedule. You should rest for a few days as much as possible after the extraction. In addition, elevate your head by resting it on pillows. Avoid anything that could disrupt your mouth's recovery.

Maintain the cleanliness of your mouth: Your dentist will advise you not to brush, spit, rinse, or use mouthwash for the first 24 hours after the treatment. When you begin brushing, make sure it should be done with care. It will aid in keeping the blood clot in place. You can also rinse your mouth gently every two hours and after meals with warm salt water or antimicrobial mouthwash.

Pay attention to what you eat: The most significant aspect of this recovery procedure is limiting your diet to only soft foods. So, you should choose foods that don't require much chewing because this will interfere with the blood clots and stitches. For the first 24 to 48 hours, try to consume foods such as ice cream, pudding, apple sauce, smoothies, soups, yogurts, mashed bananas, mashed potatoes, scrambled eggs, cottage cheese, etc. When the pain has lessened, and you feel you can manage it, you can gradually progress to semi-solid meals, followed by solid food a few days later. It is also critical to avoid eating piping hot food because hot temperatures in food and drink can put you in danger of burns if you have just had surgery.

Follow the directions on the prescription: Antibiotics may be prescribed to prevent infection in specific instances. Medicines such as Advil may also be required for pain alleviation. Depending on your situation, you can anticipate being recovered within a week. If you discontinue taking medication as directed, the germs in your mouth may become resistant to the medicines. Therefore, you must follow the advice of your dentist to avoid infections and heal well.

Apply ice pack frequently: Having your wisdom teeth extracted might result in bruising and cheek swelling. Apply ice on the wound many times a day for about 15 or 20 minutes at a time. Fill a Ziploc bag with ice and press it on the outside of your cheek where the pain is the most intense. Swelling subsides in two to three days. On the other hand, bruising may take longer to heal.

Do you require wisdom tooth extraction? The highly trained oral surgeons at TeethCare Multispeciality Dental Clinic are specialized in tooth extraction. They strive to provide a good experience for each patient. Make an appointment with TeethCare Multispeciality Dental Clinic for a wisdom teeth removal consultation.

#dental clinic in kolkata #dentist in kolkata

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expeditionist-diaries · 6 years

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Country #4 in less than 3 weeks! Belgium was honestly not as high on my bucket list of places to see, so I didn’t allot much time to explore the country but I’m happy I was able to squeeze in as much as I did in the (less than) 48 hours I had between trips. After saying goodbye to Annie and T, I marched my way back to the train station eager to get to my next destination. When I arrived, I was surprised by how much I loved the cozy little city of Antwerp with its narrow curving walkways, interesting architecture, and best of all, the delicious food. The whole city is quite small, and I was able to walk around and see all the major sites in a little over an hour, which suited me just fine, as I was worried I wouldn’t get to see everything I wanted to. Turns out no worry was necessary! Everywhere I’ve been so far is close together and so compact in comparison to home that I tend to forget it doesn’t take nearly as long to get anywhere. On my little afternoon stroll I was able to see the beautiful Central Station (since I trained in), the Grote Markt, the Cathedral of our Lady, the Grand Bazaar, and explored little side streets and alleyways along the way. I had already decided before I left home that I was going to treat myself to a nice meal to kickoff my solo travels, and chose InVINcible as the place I was going to go. Little did I know that I would be rooming with a lovely 17 year old girl named Delphine who was doing a culinary internship at that very same restaurant! I couldn’t believe my odds! For one thing, it reaffirmed that I had chosen InVINcible for a reason beyond my original inclination; I was in the right place at the right time so I could connect with Delphine and get to know her. For another, I was meant to stay a hostel I had previous doubts about, solely due to the name (Antwerp City Youth Hostel). I was worried I would be too old to really connect with anyone and boy was I wrong. Delphine was so sweet and friendly and I blown away by all she’d accomplished in such a short time. Not only was she in grade 11, staying far away from home for the entire length of her internship (in a Michelin star-reviewed restaurant no less), but she had also been lucky enough to have served dinner to the King of Belgium not once, but twice! I was so impressed with her experiences and her love of cooking that there was no other option; I needed to eat at this restaurant. I sat on the test kitchen side where you get to watch all of the chefs preparing each dish, and this was a gift in and of itself, but actually tasting the food and how each dish complimented each other made me stay at the restaurant for over two hours just to enjoy the experience a little while longer. Delphine was in charge of all the desserts for the guests and she made me a sabayon—quite a complicated desert to make—with such skill that she already seemed to be a pro. I can only describe it as a kind of egg, cream, and white wine frothy soup with vanilla ice cream floating in the middle (not the best description, but you get the picture). Amazing! Apparently, to make it correctly, you have to whisk your liquids in a constant figure-8 motion or the soup base won’t froth and the dish is effectively ruined. Mine was perfect, and even the owner came up to me and said “This one is made with love” and smiled as he handed it to me. Delphine was beaming with pride as I loved and devoured every bit of it, and to me, sharing that moment with her was the most special part of my day. I thanked her, the owner and everyone at the restaurant for squeezing me in last minute without a reservation, paid my bill, walked through the Grote Markt as the buildings were being washed in the warm glow of sunset and made my way back to the hostel. The next day I was headed to Brussels, so I hugged Delphine goodbye, made my way back to the train station, and settled in for the ride. I had made plans to do a half day trip to Bruges and Ghent once I checked in to my hostel, and then finish out my night in Brussels where I had already made a bucket list of different beers I wanted to try (When in Belgium, do as the Belgians do.. DRINK BEER!). Seeing four cities in less than 2 days was ambitious and definitely required a lot of energy to keep moving, regardless of how tired I was, but I don’t regret it in the slightest. I also met a lovely girl named Patty from El Salvador who ended up joining me on my mini trip to both cities. In Bruges, we tried authentic handmade chocolates, took a boat ride through the canals, and walked around the city. In Ghent, we visited the Koren Markt, had cherry beers on a patio (obviously), saw the Belfry Tower, and various cathedrals in the city centre before making our way back to Brussels for the evening. By the time we got back to Brussels, it was already 10pm, so there was not much to do except head to the Grand Place and try and find a bar to get our beer drink on (Flight of beers at Au Brasseur? Yes please!). One thing I found a little strange about Belgium was that nearly EVERYTHING closes at 5 or 6pm, even in touristy areas. The only thing left open at night are bars and restaurants, which to me, didn’t make much sense if you’re trying to attract tourist dollars, but apparently it had something to do with worker’s unions. Good thing I made it before everything shut (My timing so far has been pretty impeccable.)! We said goodbye to each other around midnight, promised to keep in touch and went our separate ways. Walking back to the Hostel, I was reflecting on how easy it was to weave in and out of each other’s lives, not just with Patty, but also with Delphine, Juliana, and all of the other travellers I met along the way. This type of fluidity and openness to spending time with literal strangers felt simple and right. I think it’s because we share a common love. We love to explore new cities, learn about other cultures, eat good food, and meet new people. I also think that when you’re experiencing something for the first time it’s exciting and sharing your great memories with others makes it that much more special. Because of this, I couldn’t wait to see who I would connect with in Turkey! XO Rose -EXPEDITIONIST Diaries

#Antwerp #Bruges #Ghent #Brussels #visitbelgium #traveleurope #travelblogger #traveldeeper #5secondvacay #expeditionistmag #expeditionbeligum #EXPEDITIONIST Diaries #backpackerlife #adventuretravel #solotravel #wearetravelgirls #suitcasetravels #sheisnotlost #gif

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terkaznebes · 4 years

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Unpopular opinions

Boy wasn’t my life so much simpler when I believed that feminists are hairy and unhappy women and the ones who always have a date on Valentine’s have nothing to do with it. Life was so much simpler when I closed my eyes to whatever is happening outside of my bubble. I was definitely more popular when I believed that sapiens have only made it so far because of eating meat. Why did I have to find out that 90% of the big animals on the planet are domesticated? And these domesticated animals are living the shortest most miserable lives.

Damn it, I want to write about this for so long, but I just can’t stand to be so annoying. For some reason whenever I post something online, I always imagine the handful of people who might be reading it and think: would they roll their eyes reading it? Especially the people that I used to crack jokes with about anything and anyone. Would they still think I am funny? I know we haven’t spent a lot of time together in the last four years because I am living in a goddamn paradise at the end of the world, but I promise you, I am still the same idiot that I was before when it comes to all the inappropriate jokes. I still love getting drunk, I still occasionally roll a joint when my daughter goes to sleep. I still dance when making breakfast, I still browse 9gag and find memes to be relevant form of communication.

But yes I am a mother and I feel like I have this responsibility now to not take shortcuts at the expense of the planet or our wellbeing. This has nothing to do with motherhood, it’s just what really brought it onto the surface in me personally. It’s an uncontrollable urge thought. So here we go, here’s a blog about our plant based diet. We have been eating like this for 10 months, which I realise is nothing, but it also means the passion is still there.

It started in a totally innocent way. I wanted Lukas to do the whole30 diet with me and he kept telling me that eating so much meat just doesn’t agree with him and that he feels too heavy. Nonsense I told him, we need meat, it’s super important. And I started doing a bit of a research to prove it. Instead I proved myself wrong. This is what happens when you dive too deep into an actual research. I felt so cheated by all the propaganda. I thought when I stopped with the dairy and sugar few years ago that I knew it all. I silently laughed at everyone who told me they have strong bones because they drink so much milk.

So we gradually stopped eating meat every day and soon we were only eating it once a week. Then the Game Changers came out, or in other name the Vegan propaganda. Lukas suggested we try it for a month in November. A month has gone by without us noticing and it has become the new norm. It’s really interesting how once you start doing something slightly better, it’s almost impossible to go back into your old habits without feeling totally guilty. It doesn’t matter if it’s something small like not using plastic shampoo bottles or something big like trying to avoid the industry that’s responsible for an incredible water use, pollution, deforestation and a noticeable percentage of human produced greenhouse gases. There’s definitely a lot of vegan propaganda that greatly exaggerates these statistics.

Nevertheless the one thing that nobody can deny is the struggle of the animals farmed for meat and dairy. They have the most miserable lives, which have kept me emotionless for many years. Partly because I hadn’t a clue and partly because since becoming a mum I am definitely a lot more emotional. Meaning when somebody tells me: It’s been scientifically proven that cows form a bond with their calf right at birth and when they get separated, they struggle, it moves me a lot more than it used to. Yes I can see the fact that I have just compared myself to a cow. I have no regrets.

The information continues and I find out that lot of the calves are kept unfed for 24-48 hours and then slaughtered. I will stop right here. There’s actually a lot more information and a lot of horrible videos that can stick with a person for life. I did this research when I was breastfeeding and my friend said: “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with drinking cow’s milk unless you have an intolerance.” This simple comment has sent me into a spiral of research and ironically it has caused me to lose my own milk and Lukas had to forbid me to use the internet for a few days so I cold keep my sanity and our daughter fed.

I just want to clarify that by no means I think that extreme veganism is the only way. I think that any lifestyle has to be sustainable. Therefore if you are having trouble sustaining it or struggling with it, you are likely going to snap one day or another. And I know it will happen one day or another, on occasion or once a year that I will do something contrary to my belief. Although the more time goes on, the less inclined I am to wanting to eat meat.

Also the information is never black and white. There will be further studies using the arguments that land needs to be grazed by livestock and they will also have a point. However spending some time reading both sides of the story, my conclusion and moral values still incline towards less meat and dairy consumption.

Since we have stopped eating meat as a regular item on our menu, we have still had it a few times. There was one occasion when me and Lukas were on our own in our favourite brunch place and I couldn’t resist the bacon and egg roll. When we were feeling under the weather, I made chicken soup because I didn’t know what else to make. I have had real ice cream (not sorbet) twice. I definitely had some cheese as a part of some dining out meal. So what. At home we eat about 95% plant based and I think it’s great.

The other day my friend was telling me that he loves nothing more than a good BBQ, but he only has it once a week and that’s still great too.

I think what bothers me the most is the whole propaganda around meat industry. I honestly wish, I knew a little bit sooner. It’s incredible how much judgement we have received from friends and family for feeding our daughter plant based meals, wholefood plant based to be clear. We had to go to a nutritionist, not because we were unsure about what we are doing – god knows we have spent hours reading scientific papers, but because we wanted a proof for our families from a professional. It’s crazy how this meat industry propaganda has driven people (including me) to really believe that you need meat for iron, to be healthy, for energy and strength. It’s absolutely distorted that you get more judged more for cooking every single meal from scratch plant based than for taking a child to McDonald’s.

Not to mention that Josie is the healthiest kid, thousand times knock on wood! I am really a big believer that what you eat is what you are. With so much extensive scientific research available that proves how what you eat can deter so many illnesses, I think it’s really worth doing the effort. At least it definitely opened doors for me to see the variety in cooking, using ingredients that I didn’t know existed and I have to say – I am a pretty good chef.

Anyway all these things that we do, that are an “inconvenience” in our lives, always come down to one thing. When Josefina asks me one day if I knew what was happening with the world, I will be able to say yes and I really did try to do my best to create a better one for you. Unfortunately I am not a sexy activist so here, eat your chilly sin carne.

#plantbased

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frederickwiddowson · 4 years

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The writings of Luke the physician starting with his version of the gospel - Luke 22:7-20 comments: the last Passover before the Cross

Luke 22:7 ¶ Then came the day of unleavened bread, when the passover must be killed. 8 And he sent Peter and John, saying, Go and prepare us the passover, that we may eat. 9 And they said unto him, Where wilt thou that we prepare? 10 And he said unto them, Behold, when ye are entered into the city, there shall a man meet you, bearing a pitcher of water; follow him into the house where he entereth in. 11 And ye shall say unto the goodman of the house, The Master saith unto thee, Where is the guestchamber, where I shall eat the passover with my disciples? 12 And he shall shew you a large upper room furnished: there make ready. 13 And they went, and found as he had said unto them: and they made ready the passover. 14 And when the hour was come, he sat down, and the twelve apostles with him. 15 And he said unto them, With desire I have desired to eat this passover with you before I suffer: 16 For I say unto you, I will not any more eat thereof, until it be fulfilled in the kingdom of God. 17 And he took the cup, and gave thanks, and said, Take this, and divide it among yourselves: 18 For I say unto you, I will not drink of the fruit of the vine, until the kingdom of God shall come. 19 And he took bread, and gave thanks, and brake it, and gave unto them, saying, This is my body which is given for you: this do in remembrance of me. 20 Likewise also the cup after supper, saying, This cup is the new testament in my blood, which is shed for you.

Exodus 12:6 And ye shall keep it up until the fourteenth day of the same month: and the whole assembly of the congregation of Israel shall kill it in the evening.

Christ teaches His little congregation to honor the traditions established by God for the Jewish people. He does not fail to follow the Passover but becomes our Passover lamb.

Exodus 12:21 Then Moses called for all the elders of Israel, and said unto them, Draw out and take you a lamb according to your families, and kill the passover.

John 1:29 The next day John seeth Jesus coming unto him, and saith, Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world.

Notice how in verse 10 that God uses anonymous people that aren’t figured into the picture by name but have a significant part to play. We don’t have any information for where this servant carrying a pitcher of water or his employer or master, the goodman of the house, met Christ or what his relationship was with Christ as a disciple. But, we just have to accept that the information is not there. It is similar to this in Acts where we don’t know how this group was established in Corinth.

Acts 18:9 Then spake the Lord to Paul in the night by a vision, Be not afraid, but speak, and hold not thy peace: 10 For I am with thee, and no man shall set on thee to hurt thee: for I have much people in this city.

Regarding the Lord’s Supper it was not uncommon in a meal for there to be one cup passed around. Ordinary people even up through the European Middle Ages at a group meal often drank from the same cup, put their fingers in the same plate of food, took soup from the same pot or plate, etc. etc. Their culture was vastly different from ours and we need to get that straight in our heads and not read our time back into it.[1]

Paul called this meal in 1Corinthians 11:20 The Lord’s Supper. In 1Corinthians 10:16 he referred to it as the communion of the blood and body of Christ. Christ breaks a piece of bread, holding it in His hands but calling it, the bread, His body. Christ is holding a cup of wine that is not blood but He calls it blood. Jesus uses this type of metaphor in other places confusing His hearers who are not of the right heart.

John 6:28 ¶ Then said they unto him, What shall we do, that we might work the works of God? 29 Jesus answered and said unto them, This is the work of God, that ye believe on him whom he hath sent. 30 They said therefore unto him, What sign shewest thou then, that we may see, and believe thee? what dost thou work? 31 Our fathers did eat manna in the desert; as it is written, He gave them bread from heaven to eat. 32 Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Moses gave you not that bread from heaven; but my Father giveth you the true bread from heaven. 33 For the bread of God is he which cometh down from heaven, and giveth life unto the world. 34 Then said they unto him, Lord, evermore give us this bread. 35 And Jesus said unto

them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst. [Jesus refers here to Himself as being a superior Manna, true bread from heaven. It is a metaphor, a type, He is using. Jesus is not saying He is literally bread, referring to hunger and thirst as a spiritual condition, see Matthew 5:6 Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.] 36 But I said unto you, That ye also have seen me, and believe not. 37 All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out. 38 For I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me. 39 And this is the Father’s will which hath sent me, that of all which he hath given me I should lose nothing, but should raise it up again at the last day. 40 And this is the will of him that sent me, that every one which seeth the Son, and believeth on him, may have everlasting life: and I will raise him up at the last day. 41 The Jews then murmured at him, because he said, I am the bread which came down from heaven. 42 And they said, Is not this Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? how is it then that he saith, I came down from heaven? 43 Jesus therefore answered and said unto them, Murmur not among yourselves. 44 No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day. 45 It is written in the prophets, And they shall be all taught of God. Every man therefore that hath heard, and hath learned of the Father, cometh unto me. 46 Not that any man hath seen the Father, save he which is of God, he hath seen the Father. 47 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life. 48 I am that bread of life. 49 Your fathers did eat manna in the wilderness, and are dead. 50 This is the bread which cometh down from heaven, that a man may eat thereof, and not die. 51 I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever: and the bread that I will give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world. 52 The Jews therefore strove among themselves, saying, How can this man give us his flesh to eat? 53 Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, ye have no life in you. 54 Whoso eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, hath eternal life; and I will raise him up at the last day. 55 For my flesh is meat indeed, and my blood is drink indeed. 56 He that eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, dwelleth in me, and I in him. 57 As the living Father hath sent me, and I live by the Father: so he that eateth me, even he shall live by me. 58 This is that bread which came down from heaven: not as your fathers did eat manna, and are dead: he that eateth of this bread shall live for ever. 59 These things said he in the synagogue, as he taught in Capernaum.

60 ¶ Many therefore of his disciples, when they had heard this, said, This is an hard saying; who can hear it? 61 When Jesus knew in himself that his disciples murmured at it, he said unto them, Doth this offend you? 62 What and if ye shall see the Son of man ascend up where he was before? 63 It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life. [Here He revealed the spiritual nature as opposed to the carnal nature of His comparison of Himself to the Manna in the wilderness.] 64 But there are some of you that believe not. For Jesus knew from the beginning who they were that believed not, and who should betray him. 65 And he said, Therefore said I unto you, that no man can come unto me, except it were given unto him of my Father. 66 From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him. 67 Then said Jesus unto the twelve, Will ye also go away? 68 Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life. 69 And we believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God. 70 Jesus answered them, Have not I chosen you twelve, and one of you is a devil? 71 He spake of Judas Iscariot the son of Simon: for he it was that should betray him, being one of the twelve.

So, Christ has used this comparison to underscore that meat and drink can preserve us for a time physically but only the spiritual can preserve us for eternity. Paul wrote;

Romans 14:17 For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.

We have God’s words in this Bible. It is written in Job;

Job 23:12 Neither have I gone back from the commandment of his lips; I have esteemed the words of his mouth more than my necessary food.

Job 34:3 For the ear trieth words, as the mouth tasteth meat.

So, no reasonable person is going to stuff food in their ears or tear off a page of the Bible, crinkle it up, and try to shove it in their ear to follow the Bible literally. We know that the Holy Spirit uses a great many metaphors and makes use of typology in writing the Bible.

Now that we understand the spiritual nature of what Christ is saying, that the wine in the cup is not His literal blood and the bread is not His literal body, we can understand what is happening here more clearly.

Paul emphasized the solemnity and gravity of this recurring ordinance and what it represents.

1Corinthians 11:26 For as often as ye eat this bread, and drink this cup, ye do shew the Lord’s death till he come.

It is not only a solemn occasion that requires serious thought but it is a time of self-reflection and self-examination.

1Corinthians 11:28 But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup. 29 For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body.

Here is the larger passage from Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians. Paul first complains about the Corinthians raucous misuse of the times they shared the Lord’s Supper, their disrespect of it, and then lays out its meaning for them.

1Corinthians 11:17 ¶ Now in this that I declare unto you I praise you not, that ye come together not for the better, but for the worse. 18 For first of all, when ye come together in the church, I hear that there be divisions among you; and I partly believe it. 19 For there must be also heresies among you, that they which are approved may be made manifest among you. 20 When ye come together therefore into one place, this is not to eat the Lord’s supper. 21 For in eating every one taketh before other his own supper: and one is hungry, and another is drunken. 22 What? have ye not houses to eat and to drink in? or despise ye the church of God, and shame them that have not? What shall I say to you? shall I praise you in this? I praise you not.

[This would show the stark contrast between a debauched and drunken pagan feed at one of the temples of pagan gods, with food offered to idols, and the gravity of the Lord’s Supper.]

23 ¶ For I have received of the Lord that which also I delivered unto you, That the Lord Jesus the same night in which he was betrayed took bread: 24 And when he had given thanks, he brake it, and said, Take, eat: this is my body, which is broken for you: this do in remembrance of me. 25 After the same manner also he took the cup, when he had supped, saying, This cup is the new testament in my blood: this do ye, as oft as ye drink it, in remembrance of me. 26 For as often as ye eat this bread, and drink this cup, ye do shew the Lord’s death till he come. 27 Wherefore whosoever shall eat this bread, and drink this cup of the Lord, unworthily, shall be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. 28 But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup. 29 For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body. 30 For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep. 31 For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged. 32 But when we are judged, we are chastened of the Lord, that we should not be condemned with the world. 33 Wherefore, my brethren, when ye come together to eat, tarry one for another. 34 And if any man hunger, let him eat at home; that ye come not together unto

condemnation. And the rest will I set in order when I come.

Christ says here to do this in remembrance of Him and that the cup of wine represents the New Testament in his blood. So, the New Testament is likened to a cup that holds the blood of Christ. The Lord’s Supper, as we practice it, is a memorial.

A memorial keeps something fresh in our minds. It keeps an important event from becoming a mere, hazy memory, an intellectual assent to something that we don’t really appreciate any more, if we ever did. By taking the Lord’s Supper we can keep ever present in our mind that God shed His blood and allowed His body to be broken for us. He paid our sin debt to Himself, paid the ransom for sin to Himself, and we are indebted to Him for this sacrifice.

Exodus 30:12 When thou takest the sum of the children of Israel after their number, then shall they give every man a ransom for his soul unto the LORD, when thou numberest them; that there be no plague among them, when thou numberest them.

Psalm 49:7 None of them can by any means redeem his brother, nor give to God a ransom for him: [The ransom is not paid to the Devil but by God to Himself?]

Mark 10:45 For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.

1Timothy 2:6 Who gave himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time.

He purchased us with His own blood, God’s own blood.

Acts 20:28 Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock, over the which the Holy Ghost hath made you overseers, to feed the church of God, which he hath purchased with his own blood.

Hebrews 9:12 Neither by the blood of goats and calves, but by his own blood he entered in once into the holy place, having obtained eternal redemption for us.

Hebrews 13:12 Wherefore Jesus also, that he might sanctify the people with his own blood, suffered without the gate.

Revelation 1:5 And from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness, and the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the earth. Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood,

[1] Norbert Elias, The Civilizing Process: The History of Manners (New York: Urizen Books, 1978), 69.

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davidfostercomedyblog · 4 years

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My 2nd Trip to Paris: The Strike!

Mamidou worked the night shift at the front desk of L’Empire Hotel, and it was his job to open the doors for us when we stumbled drunkenly home from our nights of Parisian gluttony. He’d originally grown up in Senegal, but “lived many years in U.S.,” having split a decade between Brooklyn and the Bay area of California.

“I prefer California,” he said. “New York too cold.”

I just laughed, which is my default response to anyone expressing any kind of preference over New York. It’s like someone saying they didn’t like The Godfather. I know we don’t see the same world, so laughter keeps things amicable but logically distant.

One of the things we enjoyed about Mamidou, besides his joyous demeanor in response to our drunken faces at the door, was his nightly rants against French people. “They don’t wanna work,” he’d yell. “French people do not work… and they want to work even less than that! They don’t know how good they have it.” In retrospect I think Mamidou may have been as drunk as we were.

His monologues were in response to the national strikes going on, supposedly driven by the goal of longer and greater pensions upon retirement. “France is ‘the country of strikes,’” Mamidou explained. “You didn’t know that?”

We do now, as our arrival in Paris this time was not without a hitch.

“Should we take a cab?” my wife (who was a mere fiancée for the last trip) asked after we retrieved our bags at the airport.

GPS indicated the difference in time of arrival to be negligible while the price gap was huge. We’d relied heavily on the train last time in Paris and came to fall in love with it relative to the MTA, the way a woman does with her new boyfriend that treats her well after decades of neglect in an abusive marriage.

The train platform was crowded. After a few moments loud announcements came (in French only) over the speaker. The locals looked displeased and a few of them departed back up the escalator. If not for the language barrier I’d have thought I’d never left New York and we were stuck at Columbus Circle.

Apparently there was a strike affecting the train operations on a national scale. Eventually we all left the station, forced to climb broken escalators, some of us sacrificing the future of our rotator cuffs to be gentlemen, carrying old ladies’ suitcases up the non-functioning escalators. My wife and I were sweating, confused and exhausted – that barely-any-sleep-on-a-red-eye-exhausted, angry– and it looked as though this trip would not be nearly the success of the previous one. Thankfully, there are few things that cannot be cured by a nap, alcohol and good food with your best friends. Next time you feel horrible I highly recommend this 4-part prescription.

My best (wo)man from my wedding and her husband were in Paris for their anniversary. Their last two days were our first two, not coincidentally of course. Since our first trip my wife seeks any excuse to go to Paris; so if you know us and we’re even peripherally friendly, by all means let us know if you’re planning a trip. We’ll meet you there.

NIGHT 1 was dinner at Bon Georges, followed by Moulin Rouge, then cocktails at the Little Red Door, followed by another dinner and more cocktails at some wherever-the-fuck, dope Parisian late night corner spot filled with beautiful, thin people drinking, eating cheese, and smoking cigarettes.

We arrived at the restaurant too early, which is always a good excuse to grab a pre-dinner drink. Jillian and I sought espresso, still running on jet-lagged fumes, but our dates were (understandably) ready for wine. We went around the corner and spotted Bo Man Café, which looked nice enough.

The first red flag should have been when they were “out of espresso.” “Out of espresso?” Where are we? Are we absolutely sure the plane ever took off from JFK? Are we in Long Island? Fair enough. “We’ll have the $6 glass of Cotes du Rhone.”

This might sound cheap, but we’ve had many a brilliant $6 glass of wine in France already. Unfortunately this experience would bless us with a joke that would kill in a black comedy club of wine aficionados, nicknaming it: “Cotes du Wrong.” It was the worst glass of wine we’d ever had in the nation of France, also the worst Cotes du Rhone we’d ever had. It wasn’t corked. It just sucked. Do not go to Bo Man Café.

Bon Georges was excellent. The artichoke puree soup with truffles blew everyone’s mind, as did the filet mignon special and my roasted pork chop with roasted onions that reminded me of a fancy version of how the west African restaurants do fish in Harlem. Although Paris is best known for duck and red meat, my experience thus far is to never skip the soup if and when it appears on your menu, as it’s always been incredible. Do skip the frog legs, as they were a bit too oily, and I’ve had better even in Chicago. We did only one bottle of Bordeaux, followed by a couple of single glasses, as we were in a rush to go see the tits.

Moulin Rouge, unfortunately almost ruined tits for me forever, as tits lose their luster when you’re looking at 48 of them at once, from 50 feet away, all of identical (B-cup) size and attached to 24 bodies doing the Can-Can. I never thought I could be less turned on while looking at naked French girls in their physical prime. As the saying goes… too much of a good thing… Though maybe this degree of exposure is part of the reason European culture tends to be less sexually repressive than ours in the west. In any case, you could never have told me I would see so many boobs in a show and my favorite part would be the contortionist and shirtless, diesel, yoga balancing guy. You equally could never have convinced me that my least favorite part would be the champagne (in Paris). Yuk! Higher quality drinks were in order immediately afterwards.

The Little Red Door was a revisit from last trip – a lovely creative cocktail lounge that attracts the local sophistos, hipsters and tourists. It wasn’t as crowded as last summer, but the bigger difference this time was it did not mark the end of our evening. We left hungry and drunk and it was 1:30am in Paris, which in real world terms is only about 9pm. The night was young! My friend, Daniel, craved a slice of pizza because he, like us, is from New York. Instead we found another restaurant still bustling with locals smoking cigarettes, surely prepping for the five-hour work day that lay ahead for them to start around noon. Daniel ordered what I imagine to be the Parisian counterpart to pizza: French fries. I got another full meal: Burger, pommes frites and a burrata caprese, and plenty of beer. We got to bed at 4am.

DAY 2 was Angelina’s for brunch, followed by the Catacombs, then dinner at Pottoka and drinks at Le Fumoir.

Angelina’s was our 9:30 breakfast reservation, and I honestly never felt so good after five hours of sleep after a night of drinking after a two-hour sleep red eye the night before. Paris man…Situated almost directly across the street from the Louvre, Angelina’s is an iconic brunch spot (and set to open a new location in NYC, God help us). I thought I was being less of a tourist by getting the eggs benedict, but it didn’t much match the restaurant’s décor, upscale crowd, or awesome coffee. Instead I spent most of my (hungover) breakfast picking as much as possible from my wife’s plate: The greatest French toast either of us had ever tasted. On brioche bread with the perfect amount of sweetness and an ever so subtle taste of rum, it was just divine. A bit more of a Beverly Hills-type crowd than either of us would prefer, and if not for the shit bag, overcast weather I’d have thought we were back in rocky-ass Nice. Nevertheless, the service was lovely - even uncharacteristically diligent. On the way out we were advised to get the hot chocolate, which tasted good, but was more like a hot melted fudge in a coffee cup. It was insane. You could’ve cut it with a knife, and in spite of its reputation, I do not recommend to anyone baring any consideration for their A1C.

Next we crossed the street to the holiday market. We’d already had breakfast, so it was apparently time for shots of cognac and cups of mulled wine, which worked out perfectly, as it helps to be intoxicated while watching the wife shop. If I don’t get at least one son or tomboy I’ll surely be joining some kind of men’s club.

The Catacombs is a “museum,” as the French call it. What it actually is is a dungeon of a cemetery five stories under ground where six million broken up skulls and skeletons lay buried from times of an epidemic hundreds of years ago. It is… fucking… creepy. As we wound down the tight spiral staircase, floor by floor, we eventually wondered if it would ever end. The walls were covered in graffiti, which in most cases of urban environments makes the atmosphere more intimidating. In this case it actually had the opposite effect. People got dizzy as the air got colder and staircase narrower, so when I saw next to other scrawled marker on the wall: “Astoria 19thSt.,” it had a great calming effect for me. Other douche bags from New York had been here – guys I’d probably call friends – and momentarily, Catacombs seemed not so scary, humanized, ironically.

Minutes later was a completely different story. I was in a dimly lit hallway about 100 yards long with ceilings only 6-12 inches above my head, lined on either side with literal skulls and crossbones (actually bones laid mostly parallel, but “cross bones” sounds cooler). Some hallways were longer and quieter than others, and a few times I genuinely looked over my shoulder for the sole purpose of making sure a ghost wouldn’t tap me on the shoulder from behind and in the process ruin my vacation and change my life forever more. I was hung over and probably still drunk and just not ready for such an experience. I made it through. I checked it off my list and took a bunch of pictures, although not every one that I wanted to. There were bars over cages in front of pitch black spaces, and I was so shook by a few of them that I resisted taking a picture for fear of the flash revealing a demon skeleton that would lunge forward and growl as if from some horror movie and my brain would be fucked forever. It should be noted that one of my flight movies on the way over the day before was Pet Sematary.Who knows how much this may have played into my comical levels of cowardice and paranoia.

After climbing the five stories of spiral staircase back up to reality I figured I could finally catch my breath and relax. The drama was over. No one had tapped my shoulder, no demon ghosts had appeared for my eyes only. I could return to great food and fine wine, unnecessary beers and one too many espressos… right?

Wrong. Supposedly there was an international scare happening. We were told because of the strike that flights were being canceled and my (Jewish) wife had entered an all-out panic that I couldn’t help but find the irony in. “You’re afraid of being trapped for an extra day in PARIS?Things could be worse.”

Believe it or not nobody was trapped (unfortunately). Life went on, all flights were on time and it’s flowin’ like mud around here, you know what I’m sayin’?

Pottokawas a dinner recommendation from the same person who’d recommended Derriere, which was our best dinner of the entire first trip, but ironically our worst (lunch) of this trip. Pottoka is on the lesser frequented left bank of town, offering an unplanned second visit to the Eiffel Tower, and this time we got to see its lovely flashing night lights, albeit engulfed in the overcast sky.

Pottoka ended up the all-star MVP of the trip, and arguably the greatest dinner I’ve ever had in my life. Although chicken generally gets ignored on Parisian menus for the beef, pork and duck, my wife and I looked at each other at almost the same time after reading over it and said we were considering the chicken. It was a farmed breast stuffed with chestnut and beef, served with pumpkin, black garlic and ham foamy, cooked to crispy, juicy perfection of course. “What is ‘ham foamy’ you ask?” I have no idea how or what it is. All I know is the plate featured a dollop of foamthat tasted exactly like ham and went nicely with each bite of chicken, and it was definitely the best chicken I’ve ever tasted. Not to be ignored were the other plates: A beef cheek with bacon, shallots, anchovies and macaroni gratin, preceded by a farmed foie gras with cocoa nibs, pickled mushrooms, remoulade celery and chestnuts soup poured over all of it at the table by the server. The whole experience was completely insane. And you’re insaneif you go to Paris and don’t go there. Actually you’re insane if you don’t go to Paris soon with the explicit intention of going there. Go there. We only did one carafe of red wine, but that’s because we were meeting friends for cocktails later on at a lovely spot near our hotel, Le Fumoir. One night there we had one of the loveliest servers in all our time in Paris. Another time was the complete opposite, but the drinks and atmosphere are definitely can’t miss.

Finally the night was over, and for literally the first time in the 21stcentury I slept for 11 hours. I usually sleep between 5-7 hours, the former side of which is obviously pathological and frankly, the bane of my existence. I woke up and looked at my phone and it said11:03am. I figured it must be a mistake. I figured there was a better chance of evil spirits in the Catacombs having somehow scrambled the visual cortex of my brain into reading numbers inaccurately than there was of my sleeping 11 hours. Fortunately I woke my wife up and she saw the same digits on her phone. They were the same on the TV, and in a glorious storm of prolonged jet lag, alcoholism, and the de-stressed mind of vacation, I set my adulthood record for sleep. I was elated, on cloud nine! My wife, on the other hand was immediately panicked that we’d missed the continental breakfast and actually had to move urgently to make lunch. I gently reminded her: “Fuck the continental breakfast, babe. I just slept 11 hours. Also, we stayed out late and woke up late. I mean, are you Parisian or not?As the wife now deeply covets the status of honorary Parisian, this is a card I can always pull. She calmed down and we went about…

DAY 3: Lunch at Derriere, followed by Musee D’Orsay, an Italian dinner at Norma and drinks at Lavomatic.

Derriere was the star of our previous trip – sadly, the flop of this trip. It was nice that our friends, Daniel and Yael, joined to say goodbye on their way to the airport, but the soup was cold and taste of the food mediocre. Go for the dinner!

Museum D’Orsay was situated conveniently about a 15-minute walk from our hotel. It had been closed the day before due to the national strike, and today only the ground floor was available for viewing. This meant no Van Gogh, which initially gave my wife pause: “Do we still want to go with no Van Gogh?”

“Yes, I replied. We’re on vacation and time is at a premium. We can’t afford to get off the itinerary, lest we sacrifice some amount of food or wine, which is not an option.”

She agreed, and agreed further upon realizing midway through the walk in the museum: “Ya know, I don’t think I like art… I don’t understand it.”

I love my wife. She and I possibly share less in common than I have with anyone I’ve ever met. We like almost none of the same TV shows, movies or music, and she hates sports almost as much as I do her two religions,General Hospital and Disney World. But the one thing we do share in common is an equal disinterest and ignorance around politics and paintings (not counting graffiti).

D’Orsay was okay. There were plenty of boobs and penises, but it didn’t compare to the Louvre, nor do I think it would have even with Van Gogh. When it was 16 minutes before closing time we were rather aggressively ushered out, which perpetuated the semi-sour experience and brought on thoughts of how we’d calm down and de-stress: Wine.

Norma wasn’t part of the original itinerary. We had one night to improvise dinner and wanted something close to another recommendation for drinks, Lavomatic. Norma was Italian food, but being in Paris we were sure to order the fried squid appetizer. It was the best calamari we’d ever had, and instead of marinara sauce, they served it with mayonnaise, much to my pleasure and my wife’s dismay. She kept dipping pieces in the burrata caprese tomatoes and I kept looking around to see if anyone noticed. The basil pesto gnocchi with burrata cheese was the best gnocchi either one of us had ever tasted, and the wine in spite of being not French, was excellent. The server didn’t speak a word of English and we didn’t give a shit.

Lavomatic is a functioning laundromat situated underneath a speakeasy cocktail bar in the heart of where the riots for bigger pensions and less work had taken 11 lives the night before. My otherwise wonderful bride, who is more or less ruled by the fear emotion, expressed reticence about going; though I would hear nothing of it. “The riots were yesterday. That’s like a lifetime ago. Nobody got killed today all day.”

On our way there we passed a historic monument with graffiti scrawled across it: “C’EST NOUS LES BRAVES!”(Translation: “We are the Brave!”) I’m not sure if “brave” is the adjective I’d use to describe a determination to not over-work, but whatever it is, is a quality and goal I admire. We are lost in the west.

We knew we’d reached our location when we saw a young, strapping man in a long, black coat standing conspicuously on the sidewalk in front of a door as the only person on the quiet block. We were already a bit drunk and unsure of how to proceed. Somehow I felt like Tom Cruise in Eyes Wide Shutso I figured best to just show my ID. He enjoyed that very much, getting a good laugh: “That’s OK, man, this is Paris, I don’t need that.” We laughed, which encouraged him further: “But thank you, I couldn’t tell. What is that, powder on your face there?” He gestured to my mostly white 5:00 shadow, mocking my pathetically wishful idea that someone might ever ask for my ID again.

“Wait right here,” he told us as my wife attempted to collect her hysterics at me.

He let us in to a small foyer of a space with one locked door and two giant washing machines. I tried pulling and pushing the door.

“No, no,” my wife said. “It’s a trap door, you know?”

“A trapdoor?!”

“No, not a trap—you know, like a trick door. We have to open the washing machine!”

Quick reminder: She’s a doctor and I have a Master’s degree in Chinese Medicine.

I turned to ask the bouncer outside how to get in but he just smiled and turned away. It was futile, like asking a Chinese acupuncturist a question about our medicine. Figure it out for yourself, is the general maxim in Chinese Medicine, which is an utterly moronic tradition in my opinion, and one that leads me to drink hard liquor in Laundromats.

The western MD figured out how to open the washing machine and we walked up two flights of stairs to a tiny bar in the attic that resembled a popular teenager’s basement hang out. The ceilings were low and the crowd was young, probably just post-college, poised to enter the grueling work force of 25-hour weeks and greater pensions. There seemed to be a lot of dates happening, legs crossed and angled towards one another on small loves seats or bar stools, and it had a distinct Williamsburg feel, logically. “Affirmative Action” from Nas’ second album in 1996, came on shortly after our arrival and it reminded me that God is always with me.

We broke from the vin to humor the mixology and sat enjoying two cocktails each. My go-to is scotch-based and I think Jillian leans towards vodka. At one point an older couple came in, thankfully then stripping us of the title, and were seated just next to us at the bar. Is this like the opposite of the kids’ table?

The first thing my wife noticed was the aromatic cloud of cigarette that followed them in. She made a face and whispered to me the way irritated wives do, then for a moment showed relief when the smell dissipated. Unfortunately, olfactory reprieve was brief, before she was re-assaulted by their even more offensive body odor.

“Well… Paris, babe.”

Jillian shook her head, and I swear to you a moment later went aghast for a third and final time. Another lean in: “Oh my God, she just farted. She just basically farted on me.”

“Oh.”

We moved our seats, finished our drinks and made our way back downstairs, probably wishing we could have thrown our outfits in the washing machines. We drunkenly enjoyed laughing at ourselves with the bouncer on our way out. It was fun. No one got killed.

Day 4: Finally the continental breakfast! Another shopping day in Little Israel, then a huge dinner plan SNAFU turns magical and we close with Hemingway.

L’Empire Hotel had a lovely front desk staff and the room itself was totally fine. We were pleased with its convenient location being almost immediately halfway between the Louvre and a lot of our chosen shops and restaurants, especially since the trains were closed due to the homicidal riots. Finally, it was beyond sweet of the staff to give us a complimentary bottle of wine for our (mini) honeymoon stay. However, in my now half decade of (arguably) over-indulging in the grape’s finest contribution I’ve never seen a screw go directly through the middle of the cork to the other end after having not been able to pry it out even half an inch using all my strength. We tried pouring some out through the hole in the middle just to sample, but it was to no avail, and surely not worth the effort. Safe to assume it would not have been to our liking.

The continental breakfast staff was not as lovely as the front desk (separated only by 20 feet) and the food actually didn’t compare to that of Villa Opera Drouot. Instead, the highlight of our morning eggs cheese and baguettes was the rather short, gentle-looking Italian man who sat alone at the table next to us in the humble dining room. He’d already taken his plate from the buffet, ordered his espresso, took out his phone and made a call. It was the angriest I’d seen anyone since we left New York. A true travesty that neither one of us could follow his Italian, but we definitely each caught a “mafankulo” and “bafangu,” respectively. He was mustering as much a whisper as was possible, but anger is anger and ours’ weren’t the only heads in the room to turn. We were both concerned for the immediate future of the person on the other end of the phone. He hung up and enjoyed his espresso and cured meats and left quickly, before we did.

When we left it was on to more shopping Christmas was three weeks away. Why not bring to our loved ones gifts from the city of love? We shared a falafel sandwich and it was the best falafel we’d ever tasted, but made a point to eat very little in preparation for our final night of great gluttony.

Before dinner was a mission of vindication. We’d never made it on our first trip to the highly recommended Hemingway Bar in the Ritz Hotel and were determined to make it this time around. We arrived at opening time, 6:00, and there was already a 40-minute wait to get in. The cozy bar was full, and the elder, English maitre’d with a warm face kindly advised us to wait on the lobby couches and he’d come get us as soon as there was space. “It could be sooner,” he added. “But I’d count on 40 minutes.”

We figured that was fine. It would give us time for one drink before dinner, which at 30 euro/drink would suffice.

40 minutes came and went, as did 50, as did we. We informed the maitre’d we had to leave, who again kindly recommended we try again after dinner and he’d skip us to the front of the line. He was so nice.

Terres du Truffes was one of our favorite experiences from our summer trip to Nice. They put truffles on everything! Black truffles, summer truffles, even white truffles, and served us what at the time as the best Margaux we’d ever had. As it turned out they had another location in Paris, so we were sure to make a reservation for our sequel. Unfortunately, as is the case with most sequels…

We got there at 7:30 and the restaurant was empty. Maybe a reservation wasn’t so imperative after all. They sat us in front of the window (as restaurants do to give the illusion to the street that there are actually people dining there) and it was chilly. The menu didn’t reflect what it had online, nor what we’d had in Nice. Where was all the duck? It was mostly egg dishes and cold fish… in December. As we sat there being ignored for five minutes we finally called the waiter over to ask if we’d been given the wrong menus.

“Is this for brunch?”

“No, no, this is the menu,” he replied in an accent noticeably thicker and more broken than that of the staff in most of the more reputable venues thus far.

He didn’t ask if we wanted anything to drink, alcoholic or otherwise, and after five more minutes of being ignored I peaked around the corner to note a table full of bread baskets surely awaiting the dinner rush. But, what about us? We like bread.

I had an impulse and we walked. No goodbye, no oi revoir or merci. We just bounced.

We were hungry, tired and cold, the trifecta of adjectives to describe Jewish; but sadly no longer anywhere near “Little Israel.”

We tried walking in at Balaganand they laughed at us like when Patrick Bateman tried getting a reservation at Dorsia. The host was courteous and recommended a market of restaurants affiliated with them just around the corner. We went around the corner and got lost. We saw no market. No restaurants, no nothing. We were growing colder, hungrier, more irritable. Our last evening seemed doomed.

“Let’s just go anywhere - I saw a spot a block back,” I muttered and my lovely bride stood by my indignant side.

A red awning and red seats – it must be good. At the least there seemed to be patrons there. They gave us a nice table upstairs and we figured it would be decent.

Le Castiglioneended up serving us one of the best fucking meals I’ve ever had. We started with a Bordeaux and soups – French Onion (“the authentic kind,” as the menu read) and a pumpkin puree with hazelnuts. We planned on sharing our entrees – the veal Milanese and filet mignon with peppercorn sauce and pomme frites – but Jillian barely allowed me an angle at her veal.

“This is just like my mom used to make,” she raved. “Do you want more?” she contrived an offer, but I was just as fine with my steak. It was perfect. A totally generic-looking restaurant and the steak was on par with any New York steakhouse. For dessert was the coffee crème brulee, and I’d go as far as to say the meal was even better than that of the original Terres du Truffes in Nice. One comes to expect magic in Paris.

Upon return to Bar Hemingway we were skipped to the front of the line as promised. I wouldn’t call it hokey, but it was definitely touristy, filled with mostly attractive young, professional Americans and Brits, yukking it up over over-priced cocktails served by the loveliest of white-coats. The room was brightly lit, as most are in Paris, and there were pictures of the psychopathic, genius, Hemingway, all over the walls; in addition to one of the Obamas at the bar perched immediately next to our seats in the corner. A row of sophistos lined the remainder of the bar seating, and next to us sat three young blonde girls, who seemed to be having a joyous, reunion at the maximum decibel of volume that was still respectful and appropriate, which is no unimpressive feat. Proximal to them was a double date of two gay men along with a straight couple who were no distant second in flamboyance, however still oddly coveted the attention of the trio of girls. One of the gay guys paid one of the girls a compliment on her jaw line that was no less awkward than if it had been delivered by some goofy straight college bro in the 90’s. “Thank you,” the girl laughed in response, and it wasn’t nearly as bad as when the (apparent straight) girl came over in hopes of merging their two tables. It was pathetic. It was like trying to sit with the plastics in Mean Girls, except these girls weren’t mean or plastic. They were just obviously long-time best friends, drunk and having the time of their lives, which is an impossible frequency to penetrate for a complete stranger.

Luckily she got the hint without anyone having to be rude. She made her way back to her double date and my bride and I continued our intoxicated eavesdropping. The complimentary olives and pistachios were as good as any I’ve ever had, although the $30 cocktail was no better than Lavomatics or Little Red Doors’. It was a great experience, but I’d probably only go back if there was no wait.

We woke at some ungodly hour and paid some ungodly expense for an Uber to the airport, as rates were jacked up due to the strike.

“I miss Paris already,” Jillian lamented on our dark, cold cab ride.

“I’m sorry, babe,” I consoled her, and became abundantly aware that we were presently neck deep in the most comical first world problem in the history of mankind. How sad it is, to leave Paris for New York City (for the second time in a year), and not know when you’d be returning.

Wikipedia defines “Paris Syndrome” as a culture shock experienced mostly by Japanese tourists when they visit Paris that can last anywhere from a few days to the rest of their lives. I can’t tell you how entertained we both were to read about this “syndrome.”

For my wife “Paris Syndrome” means something different – something I think more common and understandable. It’s an addiction to Paris – no cheap addiction – and a preoccupation with wanting to always be there. After our first trip she began googling flight deals at the airport gate on our way home, which is obviously what lead to this trip in the first place. After this trip I had to quickly shoot her down like a parent: “No. Please. Just… please… no more trips to Paris for a while.” It’s just not sustainable.

This brings me to my own definition of “Paris Syndrome,” which is no less in love than my wife is, but I’d like to think a bit more optimistic and enlightened.

“We live in ‘Paris,’ babe,” I man-splained to her in hopes of not flushing away all of our retirement and kids’ college funds on steak and wine. We live in New York City – pretty much the only place in the world that Parisians equally admire and crave to see and be a part of. We don’t have to travel halfway across the world to eat incredible food late at night, drink fine wine and be immersed in rich metropolitan culture. We have it right precisely where we both were born! Sure, the food might not be of quite the same caliber and the wine isn’t as affordable, but it’s more affordable than hotels and airfare – that’s for sure.

My “Paris Syndrome” is another kind of beast. It’s a degree of celebratory alcoholism, socializing and gluttony, which is also a seamless transition when you get home two weeks before the holidays. Last time we returned I spent 3-5 weeks of basically pretending we never left. Sure, I went back to work and resumed the responsibilities of a real adult in a world that doesn’t as much value well being, but I went out with friends more often, stayed out later, consumed a bit more, and relished in the incredible privilege of having been born and raised, for all intents and purposes, in Paris. This time has been more of the same. Paris reminds me to celebrate more and stress less. It reminds me to occasionally look at my home through the lens of a tourist, thereby reinvigorating my excitement for home and mitigating the effects of the daily grind. That is what “Paris Syndrome” means to me.

#paris

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cbdoilanxiety-blog · 5 years

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A Cannabis Treatment Protocol for Cohn’s Condition. What Helped Me

My experience treating myself with medical cannabis is that it was an accomplishment of experimentation which was both costly and also lengthy, but that's probably the way it need to be. People are not carbon duplicates of each various other and also there is no factor to think that Huge Pharma poisonous substances will certainly affect different people the same way although that is the lie we have been informed.

Likewise, individuals will respond in a different way to various marijuana stress, products as well as dosages as well as the only method to discover something that you recognize will benefit you is to attempt it. I was recommended in the starting to document my treatment progression to aid me figure this out in a well organized means yet I was as well ill and really did not have the psychological, physical or psychological gets to document anything.

The "budtenders" at the marijuana shops played a very minor supportive role by defining one of the most usual uses as well as results in reducing different signs but possibly their best guidance was that "the nose recognizes." When it come to entire blossom marijuana (bud) you are meant to inhale the fragrance of the various pressures as well as the ones that smell the very best to you are the ones you should attempt as well as certainly the ones that scent offending to you are best avoided.

Comparison that sage as well as benign guidance with that said of Large Pharma especially in the case of Crohn's and also other autoimmune and persistent illnesses where we are advised and expected to take Large Pharma toxins that we understand make us really feel even worse.

In my situation, I needed to travel out-of-state to treat lawfully with medical cannabis as well as I had a terrible influenza when I got right here so I began with fresh marijuana juice and Buy CBD Suppositories CBD-oil infused edibles to begin with to make sure that I didn't have to smoke. I likewise did not and still do not delight in the psychoactive "high" of cannabis so I was confident these items would offer me some alleviation without requiring to try the THC products that would certainly make me stoned.

I may've simply been also sick or my illness too major but these items provided me definitely no obvious relief. I next attempted taking a percentage of THC-infused edible in the evening which did not touch my discomfort whatsoever however which aided me rest. That was the first real relief I found as well as I continued looking for something that would certainly knock senseless my complete body joint as well as body pain, fevers and also different deep gut pains as well as intestinal symptoms of my illness. At some point I found that I needed to smoke whole flower marijuana (bud) to get any pain relief at all as well as I tried lots of stress. Indica or indica-dominant hybrid pressures were my preference as sativa pressures gave me the analytical head-high I did not desire.

Smoking indica strains aided substantially with my body as well as joint discomfort and somewhat with my gut as well as GI pain and also signs and symptoms. Finally, I found that vaping concentrates permeated even the inmost gut discomfort and also signs as well as I had ultimately, ultimately found alleviation. I simply "overcame" my previous hostility to being essentially constantly stoned and hunkered down for the long run of recovery myself as well as alleviating my disabling pain.

I kept using the non-psychoactive juice and also CBD items as dietary supplements and concentrated on sampling various items as well as indica strains to treat certain signs and symptoms like nausea and also helping me procedure and digest food.

I began making use of a transdermal substance topically on my abdomen as well as right flank which produced an enjoyable cooling sensation that partially extinguished the burning, bloating, pulling, itching and also various other sensations in my gut and over my liver area. I discovered that smoking throughout dishes aided with my queasiness, disinterest in food as well as "anorexic" kind signs of a Crohn's flare. I took a bite or 2 of food complied with by a bong hit and also maintained it till I didn't wish to eat anymore. I would certainly acquire a small amount of a number of different strains each time as well as attempt them out during meals or before bed.

Although I did not have a cancer diagnosis, I really felt drawn to try the Rick Simpson Oil (RSO) protocol where I slowly worked my means up to consuming 1 gram (1000 mg) of cannabis oil a day or 60 grams in 90 days.

This is a very high dose as well as I don't assume I ever before made it to the full gram a day but I make certain I ingested the full 60 grams of marijuana oil and after that some by spraying a slim line of oil onto a cannabis-infused fool as well as letting it liquify over a hr or so. I did that everyday for possibly 9-12 months. The very last point I did before bed to extinguish my relentless deep intestine pain was to take 30-50mg indica edible (about 3-5x a conventional leisure dosage), take 3 or 4 hits from a joint, regarding 2 attracts from a vape pen having concentrated oil or resin, and I rested well as well as primarily might not feel my digestive tract at all up until I got up in the early morning.

The discomfort alleviation was exquisite however cannabis pain relief is not a numbing kind feeling numb where you don't feel it anymore in any way, or where you are tricked into believing that you are no more sick, or a superhero. It just really feels a lot various and much less aggravatingly relentlessly excruciating than it was before and mentally you remain in a better position to handle any continuing to be feelings also. It's tough to define however it was and is wonderful pain relief.

Also after sleeping very well, I constantly got up sweaty, nauseated, suffering and also drastically bloated so I would certainly take 25mg of a THC/CBD combination edible as soon as I woke up as well as return to rest or simply rest in bed until it started working, typically 30-60 mins. Then I would certainly stand up as well as do whatever jobs I required to perform around your home and also if I needed to drive anywhere I would certainly wait until later in the day when the early morning dose had actually worn off.

Occasionally when it wore off I was too sick to go anywhere so I would certainly just hunch down as well as medicate once more up until I felt far better and try to go out the following day and so on. When I really did not leave my home for a number of months as well as had Amazon.com deliver food and feline litter so I really did not have to bother with being too ill to go out or needing to medicate just to be well adequate to drive.

At some point I discovered that cannabis transdermal spots kept me at a wonderful degree for 24 to 48 hours and also this item was really game-changing for me as I was still comfortably medicated when I awakened in the morning-- this was vital. I likewise did not have to bother with obtaining "also low" otherwise obtaining "expensive" as well as constantly thinking of medicating as well as medicating and so on. Some people use a fifty percent a patch as well as leave it on for two days yet I located I require 2 spots and to alter them every 1 day if I am really sick or every two days if I'm feeling a little much better.

This is the product that has most boosted my lifestyle as it is both low-maintenance and also effective. Contrasted to various other delivery approaches the patches are a relatively reduced dosage and also are absorbed straight into the bloodstream without needing to go through the gut possibly making them excellent for people with conditions of malabsorption like Crohn's. I do not get any recognizable "high" from the spots as well as make use of one 1:1 ratio THC/CBD patch and also one fully CBD patch at the very same time.

I likewise made my very own marijuana suppositories with cocoa butter, coconut oil and cannabis oil. As soon as the patches quit my regularity, digestive tract spasms as well as looseness of the bowels I had the ability to utilize this delivery method and it appeared to function rather well for discomfort alleviation and also sensations of despair without providing me the head-high I really did not want. I made each suppository with about 30mg overall THC as well as made use of a couple of each day for a couple of months.

I discovered that this was additionally an excellent way to use up different concentrates that I had actually attempted that I really did not look after such as where I got numerous doses of a concentrate wholesale that gave me undesirable sativa kind impacts that I really did not desire and also had not been expecting. I just melted the focuses right into the chocolate butter and coconut oil and monitored the complete mg of THC I was putting into the blend to ensure the end product was the dosage I wanted.

I also began a 100% organic and also fermented organic diet plan together with high-grade organic or non-GMO supplements. After regarding a year on the cannabis and after that switching to this diet regimen for 6 months I began to really feel as if I was truly healing rather and not just concealing the pain.

I didn't need to smoke during dishes anymore and I was moderately thinking about food once more. I attempted to consume raw fermented organic foods a minimum of 3 or 4 times a day so I found that kombucha tea in the morning, miso soup in the afternoon and also some sort of raw sauerkraut, pickle (or their juice) throughout the day functioned well. I saw a significant renovation at one factor after I had actually included a fruit and vegetable juice based supplement to my regimen. I have no suggestion if it was actually doing anything but I was feeling progressively much better. I was likewise taking a multivitamin and also numerous probiotic supplements and purchased an infrared heating mat which was supposed to be valuable for discomfort and other things.

I laid on the floor covering for numerous hrs a day usually at night as well as if nothing else it was kicking back as well as helped my body as well as joint discomfort. And although pure CBD products not did anything to soothe my pain at first, once I began feeling better I found that CBD-infused edibles as well as tinctures do take the edge off and I use them sometimes if I am coming to be bewildered with pain and also do not want to be high simply after that. I can additionally handle most of my present discomfort as well as symptoms with edibles and also patches and also currently rarely require to either smoke or vape.

Presently I have actually been overcome paying for supplements or fermented food as well as have been consuming GMO food periodically also. My signs are beginning to find back and I am again fighting with anorexia nervosa, heartburn, bloating, joint discomfort as well as digestion signs and symptoms but thankfully I am still able to obtain discomfort remedy for marijuana.

At first, if Western medication as well as Huge Pharma had supplied me easy discomfort relief with no recovery whatsoever I would have settled for that but Huge Pharma has absolutely nothing in its toolbox that can touch the deep gut as well as various other discomfort of Crohn's disease and which isn't contraindicated for creating even more GI signs.

Now that I have actually experienced true recovery and signs and symptom relief as opposed to simply discomfort relief clearly I wish to have both as well as the natural as well as fermented diet plan combined with supplements and also cannabis seem to work best when utilized together. As my finances have actually been depleted and also my health is once more declining, I do not know what the future will hold for my illness, my therapy or my life.

Obviously, I have likewise found significant discomfort remedy for my 2 embraced felines who constantly rest with me when I remain in serious discomfort as well as their presence has been greatly reassuring. Staying in a gorgeous, serene rural area has possibly aided too, in addition to having left a bad connection and also an uneasy living circumstance in my prior life, prior to I vacated state to legitimately treat with clinical cannabis.

Initially of my cannabis trip I have actually been fended off at the degree of consumerism I now technique in order to regulate my symptoms and get relief from this condition and this blog post is urging consumerist solutions which I do not appreciate. But for any person that desires this details, I want to make it readily available.

Possibly it will certainly conserve someone time, money or energy at the beginning of their very own journey and also they will certainly get relief as swiftly as feasible which for those suffering the gruesome physical impacts of autoimmune condition may be the most effective we can wish for.

What I understand for specific is that Western medicine has absolutely nothing to supply to help me heal or even mask the discomfort, development or crippling signs and symptoms of Crohn's but they will certainly still force me to take their inefficient toxins anyhow if I ultimately need to go to them for help. I will resist that end result with every ounce of my continuing to be stamina and am identified not to let Western medicine once again sink its violent, inept claws right into me and also this terrible illness also they recognize they can't deal with.

0 notes

costcohotdogslut · 5 years

Text

“Try and have her fed by 5:45 at the latest, but take her food out at LEAST an hour before, she likes her meals to be at room temperature. After that, she’s allowed two hours of free time. It’s Tuesday, so me and her usually watch Real Housewives together, its kind of her favorite show…”

Furiously jotting down her itinerary, Victoria was making sure to write down everything Kendall was telling her, wanting to make everything go smoothly for the next two weeks. “But make sure it isn’t Orange County! Those women are out of control and I do NOT want Logan Jr. exposed to that kind of stuff. Beverly Hills and Atlanta are fine.” Kendall said, as Victoria reached for her red marker to make sure that little tidbit of information was highly visible.

“Other than that…. I think you should pretty much have everything down. I start getting her ready for bed around eight, nine on the weekends, and make sure you take her outside to go potty before bed! You getting all of this, Logan?” Kendall asked, glancing over and seeing him on the recliner, who was on his phone, playing around with the woman filter on Snapchat.

“Great. Well I should probably get going now, my flight leaves at 7 and I want to get there a little early.” Kendall said, gathering up his things and making a mental checklist of everything he needed. “I’m gonna miss you ladies SO much! Keep me posted on anything and everything.”

Pulling Victoria in for a hug, he let go and walked over to Logan Jr., who was sitting on her cute little chaise lounge. “You be a good girl while I’m gone now, you hear me?” Kendall said to his daughter, who was currently watching Easy A on her iPad Mini. “Oh, she has her headphones on, she probably didn’t hear me.”

“Yeah, I don’t think that��s what it is.” Logan piped up from his recliner, not even bothering to look up from his screen.

“Okay…. Well goodbye then! I’ll let you guys know how Gram Gram is doing when I get back to Minnesota.”

“Bye Kendall! Have a safe flight! Me and Logan Jr. will facetime you first thing in the morning!”

Waving him off, Victoria got up and went over her list, figuring she ought to get a head start on the list of things she’d have to do daily.

For the next two weeks, Victoria and Logan were tasked with taking care of Logan Jr. and making sure she got the proper care a queen like her needed on a constant basis.

Kendall’s grandmother had fallen down last week, and tomorrow was her scheduled appointment for her hip surgery. Kendall, Katie, and their mom had decided to fly in to Minnesota to help her out during the recovery period, and also just to visit her since they hadn’t seen her since moving to Los Angeles.

Dustin, too, was out of the house, leaving earlier in the week with a large array of luggage filled with makeup, wigs, and women’s clothing with him. Nobody had bothered to ask him where he was even going and for how long. Camping maybe? Who really knows.

So for the next two weeks, it was just Victoria and Logan, and while she didn’t like to admit it, she wasn’t particularly… thrilled. Her and Logan didn’t really talk much these days, and when they did, it was usually to tell her something mean and hurtful (she honestly lost count of the amount of times he told her Fun Size was a stupid movie). But… she wanted to help her best friend Kendall out, and it was only two weeks… maybe it wouldn’t even be that bad.

“So looking at our schedule… Kendall usually takes Logan Jr. for a walk right now. I can go find the trash bags if you help me look for her harness?”

“…….”

“Um, Logan?” Victoria asked, looking over at Logan who was silently laughing to himself.

“God, I look SO hot as a girl…”

“Okay…. well then how about you be in charge of feeding her tonight? I’ll ever help you out, that way we can both see how to do it.”

“…….”

Sighing, she got Logan Jr. buckled up, knowing that this would all end up falling solely on her (as she had already suspected.

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Two days had passed, and things had gone… horribly. Victoria had been running around like a madwoman for the last 48 hours, Logan Jr. absolutely testing her limits by acting up and being a little diva, no doubt knowing that she could get away with it now that both of her dads were away.

It especially didn’t help that she got almost no support from Logan, either. Sure, he had actually put her outside to pee a few times, and he spent almost three hours the previous night recording videos of Logan Jr. for his insta story, which gave Victoria a little time to finally catch up on some sleep. But other than that, he usually just kept to himself.

Not only feeling tired, but Victoria also felt a little lonely being all by herself in the apartment.

Logan, on the other hand, was laying back on his California king bed, enjoying the silence now that pretty much everyone was out of the house. Kendall and Dustin could really get on her nerves, asking him to take his boots off the coffee table, to clean up his mess after his little house parties, if he wanted them to save him a plate for when he got home, like shut up already!

He honestly considered himself a saint for having to deal with all of their bullshit.

Just as he put in his earbuds and opened his Spotify app, he heard a loud crash and commotion coming from the other side of the apartment.

“LOGAN JR.! YOU GET BACK OVER HERE, MISSY!” Victoria yelled out, Logan Jr. squealing back in response.

Sighing, he set his stuff off to the side, figuring he’d just have to give Dedicated a stream at a later time.

Walking out his bedroom and into the living room, he saw Logan Jr. excitedly jumping around and oinking, with Victoria leaning over the kitchen counter, ready to pull her hair out.

Looking over at her, Victoria gave Logan a pleading look.

“Can you PLEASE help me get Logan Jr. into her pajamas? I just gave her a bath and she doesn’t want to cooperate with me!” Victoria groaned, glaring at Logan Jr. who seemed to be squealing back at her mockingly.

“Uh…. Sure.”

Walking over to her, Logan Jr. looked up at her namesake with sweet, innocent eyes. As Logan reached down to pick her up, she suddenly jumped up and ran through his legs, making a noise that he could only guess was the pig equivalent of snickering.

“You get over here right now!”

For the next 15 minutes, Victoria and Logan began chasing Logan Jr. all around the apartment, in a sequence that seemed to parody the old Scooby Doo cartoons as they ran through door and door, room and room, never seeming to be able to catch that little pig, the two even harshly crashing into each other as Logan Jr. continued to run away from them.

Finally, the two managed to tackle the little diva as she gave out a little squeal that presumably meant that of defeat. Wiggling her into her little zebra onesie, she huffed on over to her little bed, seeming to be in a bad mood now.

Victoria and Logan, on the other hand, were on the floor, trying to catch their breaths. A few minutes of awkward silence passed between them, before Victoria finally spoke up.

“Phew…. Well thank you, Logan, for helping me out with that.” She said, wiping the sweat from her brow as Logan gave her an awkward smile.

“Uh… yeah, for sure.” Logan replied, the two looking away from each other, not knowing what to say. “All that running worked up an appetite….. did you…. wanna go to Olive Garden?”

“YES! Omfg, let me go grab my keys!”

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After a few fender benders and a horrible parking job later, Logan and Victoria were seated at their table, munching on breadsticks and enjoying their soups.

“I’ve gotta say, I’m SO glad you recommended the Chicken & Gnocchi to me, it’s delicious!” Victoria said, hurriedly shoving spoonful after spoonful into her mouth.

“You can thank Sabrina for that! She’s the one that turned me onto it, and now I get it EVERY time we come here.” Logan said, words slightly mumbled as he shoved his third breadstick in his mouth. “It’s like, the only soup worth getting here!”

“Well I mean, I think the minestrone is amazing too!” Victoria responded, seeing that Logan quickly shot a disapproving look at her “, but I think I’ll just get this one from now on!” She quickly added, Logan smiling now that he agreed with her.

Everybody’s! DANCING! DANCING CRAZY!! And we never stop! We NEVER stop!!

“Oh! That’s Kendall calling me!” Victoria said, picking up her phone and putting it up to her ear. “Hey Kendall! So good to hear from you, what’s up!”

“Not much, just wanted to see what you were up to. How’s Logan Jr. doing!?”

“Oh she’s fine! She’s been giving us a little trouble here and that, but we’ve been having fun other than that. We even watched Wheel of Fortune after dinner, and I had NO idea she was so good at it!” Victoria said, looking over at Logan who was mouthing at her to hang up.

“Haha, that’s awesome! I’m glad you girls are having fun. I’ll have to have a talk with her when I get back about her manners, though… So what are you guys up to right now!”

“Me and Logan are at Olive Garden! And before you ask, Logan Jr. is fine, Logan called Jake over to watch her while we were gone, and we gave him the entire rundown.” Victoria said, which translated to Logan shoving the list at Jake and telling him to figure it out while Victoria warmed up the car.

“Oh, well that’s good then. Tell Logan I said hi! And PLEASE tell me you ordered the minestrone soup! You know that’s our favorite!”

“Uh…. So how’s your grandmother doing!” Victoria asked, quickly changing the subject.

“*Sigh*… we just took her to the hospital right now. She’s getting admitted so that she’s already here for her surgery tomorrow, and I’m hoping that-“

“Hold that thought, our food is coming! I’ll call you back later, bye Kendall!” Victoria blurted out, cutting Kendall off mid-sentence as she put her phone back into her purse.

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“-and then that’s when I went flying off the mechanical bull. I had already had a few margaritas so I don’t know what I was expecting, but it was pretty hilarious when I fell on my ass after that. Leon was cracking up and I’m pretty sure Matt almost peed himself!” Victoria laughed as she told her behind the scenes Victorious cast party stories, and Logan listened intently, nearly choking on his pinot grigio.

“That’s so funny! God I bet they were a blast to be at, huh?” Logan said, as Victoria nodded in agreement.

Resting her chin on her hand, she gave a faint smile to Logan, who surprisingly gave one back.

“You know, I really missed us hanging out together. We used to have SO much fun on tour together!” Victoria said.

“I know, we were kinda inseparable weren’t we? You were so much fun to hang out with, remember that time we went to Club Jam and nearly got kicked out after swiping that bottle of Fireball?” Logan said, sending Victoria into a fit of laughter.

“God, do I? That was one of the craziest nights of my life.”

The conversation mulled to a comfortable silence, the two actually enjoying one another’s company.

“I wish we could do this more often. You really are the same fun, down to earth person underneath all this black cloud of bitterness and negativity you radiate nowadays.” Victoria said, eyes widening at what she realized she just said. “Um, no offense!”

“None taken!” Logan replied, spooning up the last of his alfredo with a satisfied hum. “And I know! I can say the same for you, you’re still that fun loving girl you used to be, even under those ugly clothes you wear from Old Navy. But other than that, nothing else about you has changed.” Logan said, smiling at her.

“Yeah…. Thanks.” She said, awkwardly glancing away as Logan whistled over at their waitress to come over.

“How can I help you sir?” The underpaid waitress asked.

“Can I get a refill of my pasta? Extra sauce and chicken please, hold the noodles.” Logan barked at her, not even bothering to look up.

“Oh! I’m so sorry sir, but our Never Ending Pasta promotion actually ended last week, right now we currently have our Giant Italian Classics as our special, would you like to try that one out?” She responded, putting on her best customer service voice she had to use with difficult customers like him.

“….. I didn’t ask what your fucking specials were, I ASKED if I could get a refill of my pasta. Are you fucking dense, or…?” Logan grunted, already pulling out his phone to leave a negative review on Yelp.

“…… Of course, Mr. Logan. I’m sorry about that, I’ll go and put your order in right now.”

Victoria, meanwhile, sat there absolutely dumbfounded and even a little impressed. As the waitress sulked away, she was at a loss for words.

“Holy shit! I can’t believe you actually got her to do what you wanted!” Victoria exclaimed, Logan shrugging at her.

“Yeah… I guess being insanely rich and famous and powerful has its perks sometimes. She didn’t have to be such a bitch, though.” Logan responded, Victoria leaning back in her chair still in awe. “Oh here she comes, I’m gonna try it out too.”

As the waitress set the plate down in front of Logan, Victoria snapped at her to get her attention, feeling a little dizzy already from acting like a diva. “Yeah, can I get a refill on this baked ziti, too?”

“I’m sorry, but who are you?” The waitress scoffed at her, rolling her eyes as she went over to another table to help her other customers.

Crestfallen, Victoria looked down at her lap, suddenly finding herself to no longer be hungry anymore. Logan (reluctantly) put a comforting hand on top of her, grimacing on the inside at how embarrassing that was for her.

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The car ride was uncomfortable for a while, the two opting to get an Uber on account of Victoria getting a little shitfaced from her 4 glasses of wine (to mask her hurt feelings, after all), so the two sat there in silence.

As he scrolled down his Twitter feed, thankful that Lorde had liked all of the things he had live-tweeted during dinner, he suddenly heard giggling coming from the left side of the backseat, looking over at Victoria who was just staring at him.

“Heh, what’s so funny?” Logan asked.

“Nothing….. just thinking.” Victoria replied, seemingly dropping the topic before rambling on again. “It’s just…… I don’t know. I’ve been feeling a little down and insecure lately, and seeing you be so mean and nasty and… confident…. I wish that I could be like that!”

“Oh? Well…. I guess it just kinda came naturally to me. I used to be pretty awkward and geeky and… yeah…. But I remember the first time I snapped at somebody and when I realized how much fun it was, I couldn’t stop!” Logan said, Victoria nodding understandingly.

“But not even just that, I’m sorta jealous of how COOL you are now! Like you have all these pop star friends, an awesome boyfriend, a huge fan base, these expensive clothes, not to mention that awesome goth aesthetic you have going on now…” Victoria drawled on.

“It’s not an aesthetic, it’s a lifestyle.” Logan bluntly said.

“Right…. I don’t know, I wish I could just reinvent myself like that. Maybe that’s what I need, just a completely new image and attitude for myself.” Victoria said, thoughts circling around in her head.

“….. then let’s do it! Let’s give you a makeover!” Logan said, a bright smile suddenly forming on the girl’s face.

“Seriously? You’d really do that for me? Well… alright!” Victoria exclaimed, suddenly feeling the most giddy that she’s felt in a while.

“Driver! Change of plans, take us to the nearest mall! I think we have a Hot Topic that’s calling our names!”

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Stumbling into the apartment, Logan and Victoria were giggling as they threw their bags on the floor.

It was 10 PM and they had finally gotten home, having stayed at the mall almost three hours past closing, forcing the poor employees to work overtime so that they could be of their assistance. When you’re as famous as Logan, you could do whatever you wanted.

As they gained their bearings, they saw Jake on the couch cradling Logan Jr. like a little baby, who was knocked out cold under her little blanket.

“Hey guys. Nice to see you guys back.” Jake whispered, not wanting Logan Jr. to stir.

“Hey babe.” Logan said, tiptoeing over to give him a quick kiss, as Victoria waved at him.

“I finally managed to get Logan Jr. to sleep a little while ago. She was a little restless at first, but she was just stoked to see Uncle Jake!” He said, quieting down when she began to make little noises before going back to snoring. “Was dinner good? You guys were gone for quite a while.”

“Oh yeah…. We went shopping too.” Logan said.

“Yeah, we had a bit of a shemergency!” Victoria added, pointing at the bags littered around their feet.

“Oh… well that sounds fun. Did you guys bring me back anything to eat? I’m starving, I’ve been stuck on this couch for the last two hours.” Jake said, grinning when Logan dug through his Gucci crossbody bag and threw a breadstick at him.

“Thanks. So what else did you guys do?” Jake asked, Victoria and Logan giving each other excited glances at one another.

“We got matching piercings!” Victoria squealed, pointing at her new septum ring while Logan raised his black mesh shirt to show the stud on his left nipple.

“Yeah! The girl at Claire’s was a fucking idiot though, she said she only knew how to do ear piercings and she was afraid to do anything else. So we had to wait around while that dumb bitch watched a tutorial video on the whole process.” Logan quipped.

“Damn, that sucks. But looking good, guys! And Logan, we have to test that thing out later on…” Jake said, giving Logan a flirty wink. However, he suddenly let out a long yawn, realizing just how tired he was. “I’m gonna get going in a bit, I have to get up early in the morning for the gym, so do one of you guy’s mind taking over for me?” Jake said.

“We would, but….. we have to go try on all our new clothes and play fashion show!” Victoria said, grabbing all her bags as her and Logan ran to his room, Logan muttering out a quick “sorry babe” as they slammed the door.

“So…. Where do you wanna start?” Logan asked.

“First, I think we need to get some music playing…” Victoria replied, the two of them giving one another a knowing look.

“I come home! In the morning light!

My mother says when you gonna live your life right?

Oh mother dear we're not the fortunate ones…

And girls, they wanna have fun!”

Quickly getting to work on unloading their bags, the two goofed around as they threw clothes all around them, Victoria holding up different shirts to her chest, Logan standing there with his arms crossed, shaking his head no to each different garment.

As the music was blaring on full blast, they were unable to hear the yelling coming from the living room.

“No! Logan Jr., please don’t wake up!”

For the next 20 minutes, Victoria and Logan had a little 80’s movie montage, trying on different hats and scarves, Logan cracking up as Victoria played around with a feather boa, and Logan trying on a pair of oversized heart sunglasses.

“Oh daddy dear you know you're still number one…

But girls, they wanna have fun!”

“Oh god, I think she just peed on me! Fuck!”

After about a dozen outfits later, they finally decided on a final look for Victoria.

Standing behind her, Logan had his hands over Victoria’s eyes, getting her ready for her big reveal.

“Are you ready to see the new you?” Logan asked, Victoria shaking with nerves and excitement.

“More than ever…” Victoria responded. Taking his hands off her eyes, she let out a soft gasp. “Logan…. I love it!”

Wearing high waisted leather pants, a leather jacket, and a black tube top, Victoria was in love with her new image. The hoop earrings and chunky necklace really finished off the look, and she could only stare in amazement (even though it wasn’t all that different from something she’d normally wear, albeit more black and leather).

“All we need to work on now is that attitude, and you’ll feel like a brand new you in no time!”

TWO WEEKS LATER

Putting his keys in the door, Kendall struggled to carry everything around him, finally making it into the apartment as everything crashed around him. Peering in, he saw Victoria and Logan playing Wii Tennis, cackling as neither one seemed to be able to hit the ball.

“Hey guys, I’m finally home!” Kendall said, looking over to see Logan Jr. curled up in her bed with an apple. “Oh there’s my baby girl, I missed you so much!” He exclaimed as he ran over to his pig daughter, wrapping her in a tight hug as the mammal let out a squeal annoyance. “Did Uncle Logan and Aunt Victoria take good care of you?”

“Obviously, god knows you left us enough instructions on what to do.” Victoria dryly said, Kendall taken aback a bit at her tone of voice.

“Oh… well I can’t thank you guys enough!” Kendall said, neither one bothering to even acknowledge him. “Ooh, Wii Tennis, can I play?!”

“Have you ever heard of a tennis match with three players?” Logan asked, more rhetorically than anything, Kendall gulping in response.

“No, I suppose not... Well, I can just wait for my turn then.” Kendall said, taking a seat on a nearby couch, watching the two having the time of their lives.

Looking at Victoria, he realized just how… different she looked. She was wearing all black, and was that a septum he saw in her nose?

“Hey Vic, did you change anything recently? Like a haircut… or…..?”

“…….”

He sat there for a while watching them play, taking a moment before deciding to speak up again.

“So Gram Gram had her surgery.” Kendall said, still to no response. “It went really well! And, they said her recovery has been going very smoothly, and she should be back to normal within a few more weeks!”

“Kendall?” Victoria said sweetly, putting her remote down as she turned to look at him.

“Uh huh?” Kendall responded, glad that finally someone was paying attention to him.

“I… REALLY….. do not. Give. A fuck.” Victoria barked at him, quickly looking over at Logan for his approval, who gave her a big thumbs up. The blond, however, quickly turned red, tears welling up in his eyes as he got ready to just go to his room.

As he walked away, he heard them cheering as Victoria FINALLY managed to serve the ball, the two giving one another a high five, and if Kendall’s eyes weren’t deceiving him, he could have sworn they had on what appeared to be matching Silly Bandz.

That was all it took before Kendall broke down in a fit of tears, quietly closing his and Dustin’s bedroom door before collapsing onto their bed, sobbing.

END

0 notes

klowee · 6 years

Text

Filled in this questionnaire for a Tumblr friend (if you do the same, reply or dm so I can read yours)

1.Kissed a girl?

excuse you, think this gaysian has been living under a rock?

2.Kissed a boy?

sure have. sadly, a shameful amount. I was sexually confused as a teen, okay.

3.Had sex in public?

sure have! bathrooms, change rooms, high tops at restaurants, parks, cabs, on the island in Toronto — whoa, my twenties were fun, eh?

4.What’s your religion?

I am without one. I believe in myself?

5.What does your URL mean?

it’s my name spelled out phonetically.

6.Reason you joined tumblr?

cousin signed me up because she thought I’d love it back in 2010 — and love it, I did.

7.Do you have any nicknames?

gaysian, klow, crowy, clover, chole, the chole, DJ chole, etc.

8.Do you like bubble bath?

not especially. it makes my eczema flare up (insert sad face here)

9.Kissed in the rain?

pfffft who hasn’t tried to reenact that notebook scene.

10.Dyed your hair?

a few times when i was an angsty teenager.

11.Soup or salad?

sandwich?

12.Vegetable or meat?

I am an omnivore but like to have a lil meat with most meals.

13.Go out drinking?

not nearly as much as I used to.

14.Smoke cigarettes?

so I traded in my one semi-serious heterosexual relationship in at 24 for cigarettes and haven’t been able to kick the habit since.

15.Smoke weed?

almost er’ry day

16.Do any hard drugs?

not regularly

17.Have you had sex today?

like, it’s wednesday at 2:47pm and all I’ve done today is walk my dog, fuel myself with cups and cups of coffee and like work at my desk.

18.Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

like, accidentally. and whenever I’ve woken up from these sleep situations my neck always hurts. always. my arms fall asleep. my back gets awkwardly tight. like, no gracias señor. sleep on your own side.

19.The relationship between you and the person you last texted?

serena and i were talking about grammar errors — and fraggle love. we’ve best best buds for going on 12 years.

20.Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

it’s a line and I’ve for sure heard it.

21.Skipped doing homework to play a video game?

back in university, I didn’t study for my exams and played guitar hero instead. on expert. and destroyed anyone who challenged me. so, like, worth it? (also, still got my degree and work in my field now — so — winning.)

22.Tried to commit suicide?

there were some dark times. have you ever spent 72 hours in a crisis stabilization unit? it was a bad time in my life. who wants coffee?

23.The last time you felt broken?

more like this year has felt very uncertain and my heart feels numb and my brain feels fried but i’m not one to feel too broken. just gently destroyed.

24.Had to lie to EVERYONE about how you felt?

every day I come to work with a good attitude and pretend I’m loving life. do you know anyone who loves their life every day? but I’ll do anything to keep morale up.

25.Do you have a Boyfriend/Girlfriend?

Do you have a flawless, perfect beagle with a golden ratio face?

26.Do you have Long hair OR short hair?

sooooo I kind of just haven’t cut it and the longest bits touch my bum...

27.First thing you notice to a guy/girl?

e n e r g y

28.Do you sing in the shower?

I kind of just sing everywhere? not necessarily well. in fact, probably terribly. I sing terribly everywhere.

29.Do you dance in the car?

regularly.

30.Where were you yesterday?

the office #DigitalEditorLife and book club (love my clever friends)

31.Ever used a bow and arrow?

sure have. just call me choleness everdeen.

32.Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

did headshots in the spring.

33.Do you think musicals are cheesy?

excuse you, I live for andrew lloyd webber. also, I can shamefully admit I was a big fan of glee.

34. Is Christmas stressful?

...but it’s significantly less magical as a grown up with no babies?

35.Favorite type of fruit pie?

coconut cream or apple?

36.Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

I wanted to be a writer. I also wanted to be an actress, I considered being a lawyer (ally mcbeal), thought about being a therapist (I thought it’d be a fun way to get people to tell me their secrets) — then I realized people accidentally do that when you’re a journalist so...here I am

37. Do you believe in ghosts?

obviously. and aliens. they believe in ghosts so hard in china that they build ghost doors in temples and art galleries and shit. for real. google it.

38.Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

often. hey! I was just saying how these are my favourite cause it makes me feel like I’m on track with things (like I was supposed to be here)

39.Take a vitamin daily?

no, but I’m into taking my vitamin ds whenever I remember. welcome to canada — the SAD is real here.

40.Wear slippers?

sometimes. and I shuffle like my late nin-nin in them too.

41.Wear a bath robe?

sometimes. like, I have a couple. and sometimes I wear them. but it’s not like a thing.

42.What do you wear to bed?

fresh pair of panties and i’m like, niiiiiiight.

43.Do you want to get married?

I sure do want my big fat chinese lesbian wedding. heck yeah, I do.

44.Can you curl your tongue?

I am an excellent lesbian.

Relationship preference:

45.How many relationships have you had?

let’s count some of those boyfriends beards when I was younger

a few affairs

many girlfriends

many lovers

a few serious partners

a painful number of mistakes (lol)

I have lots of friends and family and they make up for the terrible romantic relationships I struggle with maintaining

46.How can I win your heart?

it’s there or it isn’t. if we feel it, we’ll feel it. i don't believe in forcing anything.

47.what makes a great relationship?

loyalty, respect, trust, solid communication, honesty (reasonably so), mutual goals and like, same dietary goals (read: a love for cheeseburgers)

48.Shy OR open?

I gravitate towards introverts as I am super open.

50.Religious OR non-religious?

like, I want to say I don’t care — but I guess I have no intention on raising my offspring with a religion (so, if they want to like splash my child with some water — maybe — but if they want to enrol them in sunday school...like, hard to say...)

51.Caring OR non-restricting of you?

like, care. but don’t be a controlling dick — trust me. then, i’ll be like same. and we’d be cool.

52.Straight edge OR non-straight edge?

like, I don’t want to go out of my way and find a heroine addict (we’ve all seen how GIA ends) and anyone too pure would find me filthy so I’m really hoping for a middle-of-the-road unicorn.

53.Piercings OR no piercings?

I don’t care? but maybe like less facial piercings? a single nose ring — nbd — but like bringing home someone with many holes in their face may make family dinners a tad awkward. my family is pretty conservative

54.Tattoos OR no tattoos?

into tattoos. all the tattoos. love tattoos.

55.Quiet stay-at-home type OR party type?

order in a healthy balance? heavier on the netflix and chill side?

#questionnaire #answers #personal #feelings #the gaysian #questions #do it

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clarencebfaber · 5 years