#I feel like these actually tell you less abt me

[misc-obeyme]

so i was just thinking. solomon's like super in love with mc right? so that would mean he'd have a soft spot for them and would be nicer to some extent towards the mc. but like, how much contrast? i've seen instances where he's straight up sarcastic, snarky or "lmao idc" to some extent with other characters, and do you think if the same instance took place w mc as the subject he'd act the same way? most probably not right? as an ardent solomon lover, i just find the thought funny that it would be a running joke (it more or less is a thing with all characters and mc anyway but im just imagining it w solomon) amongst everyone about how nice solomon is with mc but is whatever w everyone. to what extent do u think is the contrast in character? how nice do u think he is in general, because i see many posts about how lovely he is to mc but is it the same with everyone? and how much sweeter do u think he is to us?? i just love thinking abt this because like...im so specialz yay pls love me solomon :')

Oh yeah. Solomon is notoriously down bad for MC. (At least, this is my opinion and I know others feel the same way.)

And I think this translates most in that he does things or acts a certain way with MC that he doesn't do with the others.

He has a general respect for most of the other characters and I think he keeps things civil. Some of them he likes more than others. But in a general sense, Solomon is a smart and powerful guy who is likely always aware of the fact that he's a human among demons and angels. I think he tends to hold everybody else at arm's length out of a sense of self preservation. He eventually opens up more as the story progresses and he becomes more friendly with everyone.

But he doesn't let anyone get as close to him as MC.

I don't know if I'd say he's nicer to MC, necessarily. I would say that he has more trust for MC. He tells MC things he would never tell anyone else. He's also very protective of MC. He's unlikely to go out of his way to protect the others or to defend them to people. But with MC? He shows up when they need him. He stands up for them even when they aren't around.

And I'd say that Solomon would do anything for MC. The others might ask him for help and he's often willing to give it, but he has no problem saying no to any of them (except perhaps Asmo, but even then I think he would if it was a big deal). But for MC, Solomon would lay down his life. Nobody can convince me that a man who would travel back in time just to help bring MC back wouldn't also take a bullet for them if it came down to that.

I don't think a situation like that would ever actually happen. And I also think that Solomon would try to find other ways of fixing things - like I said, this man is smart.

Still I think perhaps the most obvious evidence of him treating MC differently comes down to how much he's been willing to tell them about himself. He's told MC about his childhood, his loneliness, the way MC reminds him of his humanity, how he's jealous of the brothers. He's said these things to MC directly. He's honest and forthright with them.

Not that he lies to everybody else - in fact, I think he's a pretty terrible liar. But he keeps his secrets. He just doesn't tell them to anyone else.

Sure, he still has some secrets from MC. But I think he's keeping them because doing so is keeping MC safe. And I think in the end, he'll tell MC everything.

And THAT is the biggest difference. Solomon loves MC, but Solomon also trusts MC with the deepest truths of himself.

#well that's how I see it #oh anon you're giving me Sol feels now #I wanna write about him more than I have lately #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me solomon #anon asks #misc answers

[seventh-district]

not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go

(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)

#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill #well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst #like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc. #so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made #bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you #but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings #and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste #there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc #so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously) #but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything #if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is #which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose #anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate. #and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic! #if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it. #like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages #or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing #i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know #it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess #as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence #the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education #i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is- #writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl- #will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype #sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen #there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions #like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of- #'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity #like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem #but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.

[waywardsalt]

now bc of that one post abt zelda getting fridged whenever that one guy directs a zelda game im thinking abt tetra just getting turned to stone in ph and like. what would it have been like if she were an actual character in ph. what would she have done how would this have changed the story

#not gonna do a whole lot of tagging im just musing. if you wanna rb or reply with ideas thats great #im not the person to figure this out bc i dont actually care much abt tetra #not like oh i hate her but like. i only played ph and what i see of her beyond that has not endeared me to her #shes fine i just dont get it. ig cuz i didnt play ww but eh #cuz like. ok. pretty much the majority of phs plot relies on tetra having been turned to stone and fixing that #and me being the autistic little freak i am the psrt that also makes it hard for me to wonder what could happen if #tetra werent stone and that making the game better is like. ok what about linebeck and his arc #listen his arc is so fucking good and hes great and i dont think his arc would have been so good if link wasnt the character he was put wit #cuz link is a great foil and despite having minimal characterization has just the right personality to nudge linebeck along #cuz hes def part of what inspires some of that change in linebeck so idk what might have happened #if tetra was an active player interacting with him in ph too. cuz like idk most of the time when i see people #do stuff where they interact its usually tetra one upping linebeck or whatever and thars like. ok thats whar ciela does #maybe im reading into it too much and focusing on linebeck. idk how you couldve done and changed #the plot of ph to include tetra without just straight up rewriting the whole thing or putting link away #bc look me in the eyes. i do not think linebeck would have developed the way he did without having met link specifically #salty talks #idk i feel like linebecks arc is the best bit of story in ph so i want that to remain more or less intact bc thats where a lot of #the emotional stuff comes in at the end. his dialogue in the ghost ship battle and the final boss. its important #i dont think about tetra much cant you tell. so id leave this to someone who actually cares abt her as a character

[possiblytracker]

back to cycling through random underplayed games in my steam library to tide me over i GUESS

#i was doing this a little to procrastinate a few weeks ago. like to an almost dysfunctional degree. #like id (try to) write all day and get a little done and just be like 'fuck it time for a break' that was not actually a break id just stop #it was like full on videogame masochism type shit i would just throw myself at the most difficult frustrating challenges bc Anything #was better than writing and smth just made me really want to put Effort into smth stupid kdjJSDKJ #i was too scared to tell anyone i was really embarrassed dfjkSD;; #was a weird time but i broke out of it and wrote my diss and thats DONE so its FINE NOW #on that note i picked up don't starve recently after sitting unplayed in my library for over 2 years #and tbh i am Fascinated but im also so so so bad at it #which was good and fine when 'i need a Struggle or my brain will shrivel and combust' was the whole deal #but now im like. if i was Any less annoyingly stubborn abt videogames i mightve stopped already but we are still here #THEN AGAIN im trying to distract myself from totk just like i was previously distracting myself from work so #still pretty good conditions for metaphorically slamming up against a brick wall over and over kjgSDKJ #im in a weird headspace rn idk how i feel abt bursting back into conversation rn im so tired and headachey but somehow #wordvomiting into tumblr tags is still fine. sdkjhg #i didnt use tumblr for so long im just making up for it you all just have to deal with me for a bit

[vogelmeister]

omg your tags on the reblog of my post - that's word for word how i feel and i HATE it, things have felt artificial to me since 1989, reputation was better but ever since lover it's felt like that 1000x more idk.. it just sucks but yeah you're not the only one feeling that way :')

THANK YOU! It's really nice to see that someone else has been feeling this way and I really begun to think deeply into why I feel like this. And you're right, it has really been since rep that it has felt... idk, less authentic.

I remember during the red and 1989 era, taylor was doing a lot of shit that actually showed how much she loved us. And by all means, she didn't have to, but it was little things such as the hidden notes in her album lyric books that made me feel a bit more connected to her. Not to mention stuff like swiftmas, the secret sessions and of course t-party all made us feel like one big family and that she was actually thankful for us. She didn't gain anything out of this, it was all "for the fans" and it made being a swiftie loads of fun, especially those hidden messages, which lbr costed nothing to keep doing. (1989 was her last i think)

Nowadays, when she does it, it feels more calculated and less authentic and I get maybe it's a safety thing that she can't do secret sessions and swiftmas etc anymore, but now even when she does things for the fans, it's stuff like releasing loads of versions of the one album so we all buy it (see, the midnight clock), and because we have this relationship we built up with her, we feel we owe our loyalty. It feels like she does these things to show she cares, but she wants our money in return. And believe me, there's other ways you can show it. The wiping of her social media defs slightly killed her authenticity, I think. Even though I understand why she did it, it certainly didnt help her relationship with the fans or it's authenticity. I do believe she still is thankful for us, but I can't help but notice the business aspect creeping in, and I just wish a lot of swifties knew you don't have to buy in to it. She's human, she has flaws, you don't have to always defend her, or buy her merch. It's almost business at this point, and I hate it.

I hate it. And I hate it more because I almost understand why its like this.

#during red taylor could say she was thankful for us and i would believe her #now i believe her but with a hefty grain of salt!!! #i do think the merch thing can also be an issue with swifties bc apparently if you don’t own her merch #or buy all 55 copies of folklore you’re not a fan #i had a friend who was constantly telling me i was less of a fan and she always wanted my merch #the merch was my red tee from when she was in sydney and even then that brings up something else because her merch quality has gone down #and the prices have gone up and that shirt from 2013 has survived. i mean it is defs aging but it's survived the trenches #but like taylor is fully playing into this and ppl fall for it bc she apparently loves us #i may have been 12 then but at least it didn’t feel like she was constantly trying to get me to buy shit #there were lots if bad things about being a swiftie then but hey at least Taylor’s love actually felt genuine!!! #and not like she wanted my money as well as my loyal #loyalty** wow lekker bezig vandaag #also i do buy her albums on cd but thats more a me thing its a tradition with a friend i had that i plan on continuing with speak now tv #bc i like owning physical copies #also sometimes i struggle with organising my thoughts so i hope that all makes sense and nothing is lost #english is my first language i just am slightly neurodivergent #i only just organised my thoughts on loreens eurovision win. im still sad abt it but im happy for her. #also hello fellow southern hemisphere person!!

[oatbugs]

i feel like i have rly strict boundaries w ppl eating my food but i feel like i shouldn't but i like . recovered from an ED and i hate having my food messed w / having less food than i thought but i feel like i shouldn't care/just get over it

#like imagine u rly care for smn but their house is kind of far so whenever u go there u stay for a few days #but they have nothing in their pantry to actually make a meal w except like. eggs and bread or smth #and they dont cook for u . but u cook for them all the time when they come over #and you are aware that due to this issue of like . never having food at their house they are often hungry #note : the food thing is less financial strain and more energy/they dont have the willpower to like. buy stuff to cook w ig ? but they also #dont order takeout so they just eat like. bread. and peanut butter. and eggs. #but anyway so ur like ok im gonna bring my own food this time so u do. they know abt ur ed thing. and u tell them youre hungry when #ur at their place so you brought this food for yourself. u are aware eggs and bread cut it for them and they feel full #but u are low on energy a lot bc ur not actually having a nutritionally balanced meal etc etc. anyway so as soon as u get ur food out they #start eating...ur food. and ur like . ok 😃 . like they dont rly ask they just grab a fork and they start eating #and ur like its fine theyre hungry they can have it . but u brought enough food for like a few days and now u have enough for like #1.5 days maybe. so u tell them..i feel like i miscommunicated but the food was...for me...sorry...but u feel HORRIBLE and guilty abt it #and then theyre like ok . and then they keep having ur food #and ur like #ok #:D anyway u made an extra bowl of the food and froze it for urself for when u get back home #bc u suspect u wouldnt have energy to cook . but u end up inviting them and they come along. and on the way #ur like i understand u were hungry but i made the food for myself so next time ig i can make 2 ppls worth of food so i wont have to like #worry abt skipping meals n stuff so much when im over at ur place . and theyre like. ok #and then u get homr. and then #they ask for that last bowl of the same food that u made for uself . and ur like 🫠 okkkk #obviously u give it to them but its like . oh my goddd pls just let me eat my own food i am HUNGRY TOO #and i made it for myself !!!! #but i dont want to be selfish and i rly rly dont want anyone to be hungry bc ik what it feels like and i hate HATE seeing ppl i love be #hungry but it feels like over this week theyve crossed this boundary like 3 times but its like #what if i fuck stuff up by telling them. theyre literally at ur place too w lots of ingredients u could have just made smth for them but #they chose that specific meal u made for urself for after u got back which is the same meal u made like 4 bowls of for when u were at their #place and its like . AUGHHSHDHDH

[moomoomooing]

someone needs to bail me out of class for the next too days and lock me in solitary so i can finally have some alone time and properly cry

#mmmmmmm my roommate has many habits that drive me insane #and im too scared to tell her off despite knowing holding it in will absolutely make me feel worse and worse #also i spilt ramen sauce all over my shit and on a white shirt i love so #one more thing to add to the cry abt list #also weird rant now #my moms given me such a bad fucking relationship with money food and gifts #and suddenly shes been so nice to me now that if feels suspicious #which is a really bad fucking thing to feel about your own mom #she got me cupcakes???? theyre being sent/for pickup via my college dining program which i didnt even know you could do #but idk why she did it in the first place nor why she didnt do it for my birthday if she did it at all? #anyways times like this makes me wish i was way more emotionally avaliable and less emotionally constipated #but i vent enough abt shit already that i feel like im whining and complaining more than anything so #a genuine hug from one of my friends or smth that doesnt immediantly give me the ick #bc i genuinely hate that it can happen to me for literally any of my friends #anyways a genuine hug would make me break down crying immediantly #this has been my rant of the day and my horror upon realizing i think one of my irl college friends actually follow me #hi if youre reading this #no you didnt

[kuivamustekala]

the state of gender affirming care in finland is a pitiful fucking joke

#did you know #that 'i want to transition so fucking bad i cry abt it at night but i dont know if my wanting hormones and top surgery is #due to me actually wanting that or if voice training and other less drastic transition methods would work better #and they only feel insufficient right now because the dysphoria is so violently strong #so i would like to talk this over with a gender therapist and see which parts of the transition are going to be medical procedures and #which arent' #means you are too unsure abt your self image and identity to qualify for transitioning? #which youd already wait for for one and a half fucking years on average even if you do qualify #to discuss these exact things youre bringing up as concerns right now? #im hiding in a closet at work and crying because im once again so upset over this #'i want to transition so bad i just want to be sure i make the right decisions' 'cool. figure that out your own fucking self lol' #pärsunaal #this close to just lying and telling them i want a medical transition right the fuck now bc i wouldnt get it for well over a year anyway

[pinkseas]

girl help i started thinking Too Much about the fic avert your eyes

#im doomspiraling #or w/e the fuck youd call it #it feels Boring and mediocre and like none of the plot is actually captivating #its not mysterious or weird it just feels predictable #half of the scenes are repeating themselves its just the same stupid shit #its Flat theres no real emotion no stakes nothing youre waiting for its just. something you skim over and click away from #ugh. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #i dont do this too often anymore but the further i get into the fic the worse its gonna get #because ill be rereading my own shit over and over and itll feel less impactful and more predictable #and then its So Hard To Tell whats GENUINELY bad and what im just bitching about #im going to explode #watch me spend months talking about this and writing it and then i FINALLY have it done and its just. neutral face emoji through and through #<- too braindead to find the right words to describe how im Feeling and the emotion or lack of such the fic will invoke #god help me fr #ughgghhgghghhghgghghghhhgghghghghgh #itd also be So Much Easier if i didnt have that whole Thing with lying and constantly assuming ppl r lying to spare my feelings :sob: #like i could trust someone to the moon and back but if they read it over and liked it my brain would just. #'theyre lying its awful its so bad theyre embarrassed for you and they dont even know where to start which is why theyre lying abt it' #'its so fucking indescribably awful and no one will ever tell you and youll live in ignorance of the fact' #like girl. GIRL. #GET A GRIP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #ive gotten soooooo much better with so much of my shit but that one has persisted through so much #gonna try talking to my therapist about it in a couple days bc its Been a problem #like fr my writing will get complimented and i jump instantly to 'theyre lying and it sucks' GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!! #i am Not Special Enough that people would go THAT far out of their way to lie to my face and make me feel better #<- exact same thought i had last time when a bunch of ppl spent months lying to my face to spare my feelings abt Really Important Things #praying that no one reads this far down the tags and if u have ermmmmm dorry im having a hashtag girl moment u know how it is #ill delete this in the morning when i am Sane again

[sunnydice]

calling cdream morally gray because he "wants to keep the server together" instantly unravels when you remember he's the one who tore it apart

#yeah he really saved the server when he escalated a mass slaughter and drove a kid to almost suicide for months cackling the whole time #not only is his 'ooo he just wants to keep everyone united 🥺' more of a shaky informed attribute (perpetuated by him AND his fans) #but even with that reasoning . how would that make him less of a villian lol #morally grey doesn't mean evil but maybe sad about it. morally gray means the webbing between hero and villain: bad actions for good of not #understandble reasons #and this is your good reason? that's where you throw your hands up and go well. i'd understand? #because idk how to tell you he paved the way for every single bad thing that happened to him and Not on purpose #he didnt expect sap+george to leave even after he kept trampling and abandoning them #and what goal was there with exile specifically? people Don't Know what happened there by his own fucking choice. #'yes i beat and abused and killed a kid and tried to condition him to be a Plaything for me' #'and i laughed the whole time and hid it from everyone so no one knows what i did and i wont talk about it either' #'but wasnt my reason so noble?' shut up BOY you guys sound RIDICULOUS #wheres the moral grayness in that?? where's the well actually??? wheres the 'performance' cdream apologists swear exists? #it's cuz there isnt 😭 hes just Actually like that and he likes doing it #having more than surface level thoughts and feelings abt situations doesnt make you morally gray it makes you a person #and it doesnt and Wouldnt detract from the harm he keeps choosing to cause #huri.txt #cometdontlook

[depresseddepot]

oughhhghh where is that "don't trust anything you think abt your life past 9pm" post when you need it

#its ''feel like an alien'' hours once again #recently ive been trying to unmask a little bit but even that tiny bit is like. breaking the dam of how weird i am #ive barely scratched the surface and im already starting to get those Looks that i haven't gotten since middle school #i wouldn't mind masking at work if i could just figure out how the hell to correctly bounce back questions #like the 10 year old in me gets so desperate to talk about herself in a genuine fashion that i can't stop myself #unless i am 100% masking. like even a little bit less and i overshare like an idiot #i dont really care to learn body language yet but i need to know how to refuse to answer personal questions #without making it weird #like allistics seem to just Know how to carefully roll with those questions without actually saying anything #''you should be genuine bc you'll feel better'' there is very little that makes me feel worse than oversharing at work #i work with conservatives baby. a little oversharing here and there leads to them finding shit out abt me that they WILL use against me #and i do not trust myself enough to not actually tell them in the moment because i can't fucking lie to save my life #when someone asks me a genuine question i just can't do anything other than offer a genuine answer #and i want to stop ! i dont feel comfortable sharing these things about myself so why wont i shut my fucking mouth!!!!! #i need to learn to let people simmer in silence. i am always too focused w filling the silence to prevent people seeing how weird i am #its always another little fucking quip with me. i can never just shut my fucking mouth #sorry #vent

[cinnabeat]

anyways i was speaking to a friend the other day (yesterday????) and have come to the realization that the year before graduation curse has struck me again

#i. in ALL my school years. have mever had a good hear before graduation #fourth grade? terrible. i got forcibly introduced to social situations i had to navigate that i didnt understand nor care abt #AND had the worst teacher in my life who genuienly hated me personally #seventh grade? crash course into bullying and also learning to Be A Person #would not recommend #eleventh grade? gun to my head i could not tell you anything meaningful that happened to me that year beyond having a breakdown in the girls #bathroom bc there was something incredibly wrong with me and school was no longer easy (adhd my beloved) #AND also new social situations AGAIN and being forcibly befriended with people that in hindsight i didnt actually like very much #AND the stress of college and sats and ap tests and acts and everything and trying to figure out what kind of future i envisioned for myself #when i had literally never thought abt my future beyond what classes i take next school year #this year? i dont know what the fuck is happening but it is perhaps a combination of the covid lockdowns and having like. zero friends. and #also again trying to figure out what future i envision myself that is Not working a retail job for the rest of my life bc i kind of #cant care less #now i am not naive enough to believe medicine would fix me #however i think adhd meds would in fact fix me #i dont think im experiencing shrimp emotions #i think im experiencing like. amoeba emotions #or like. the ant that for one brief second understood what it is like to be a human #and then is forever left with the haunting feeling of wrongness #otherwise known as cosmic horror. or like worm emotions idk #michi tag #anyways. its five am god help me

[1327-1]

my hard launch to get medicated immediately thwarted by healthcare professional who believes i am there to inconvenience them

#thinking more abt dr appt and it was actually dog shit #i was like hey i dont eat regularly for several weeks. and maybe bcoz i make insane amount of eye contact w new ppl i meet i was seen as a #healthy functioning adult individual idk u tell me #i show up. the doctor Has the notes. i am asked ‘so why are you here’ my brain shuts down and takes the ‘for a general checkup like any #other normal person haha’ im swept out the door in less than 15 minutes #like what the fuck is going on. ive always been on a fuck doctors bias bcoz every single time i go theyre tryna get me out of there as quick #as possible. like my hand pain?? charged me an expensive xray to tell me i was fine despite how much pain i suffer day to day #i try n not think abt the crushing reality of how hard it is for ppl to give a shit abt black bodies but holy shit #this stuff is fucking wild. and then who am i to say anything #.jrnl #its just hilarious that i am forced to take an anxiety and depression assessment and none of that comes into play. u are talking to an #unmedicated severely anxious and depressed person. u can lead me to some water and drown and they do it Every Single Time and im like ok #haha funny surely next time i’ll get something to make me feel better! two yrs later #whatever. bad brain yapfest

[be-good-to-bugs]

i wish i had time 2 draw

#the bin #WHY right round b4 artfight am i once again moving #last time it was actually some time before i moved but i was packing 4 so long beforehand that i still didnt have time 4 it #well i have 4 days to pack up all my stuff + help my sister pack her room + whatever is ours in the rest of the house #AND i have to work every single oneof those day #actually its 3 days..the 4th is the one stuff is bein moved n is happening at 2pm so like. no time before #im havin 2 leave work early bc of it :/ they KNEW me n my sister both worked that day but they chose that day anyway #well. once am in new place hopefully ill feel less stressed #at least work hasnt been too bad. its not bad except 4 creepy guy who hangs around the cds a lot and wont stopping talkin 2 me #telling me how 'hard i work' in the most uncomfortable way possible :/ and making a commwnt about how i 'look so much prettier without a #mask on' i will wear one to spite you. only reason i dont is bc its very dusty where i work and you wpuld think otd help but it actually #just makes tnings way worse and i end up sneesing inside the mask and its gross so. but maybe i just need 2 get a diffrent mask #would def be better to wear one overall and also i feel uncomfortable with ppl seeing my face so much. esp the weird creepy ppl #well. im stresses abt SO much. but at least ill be in a new better place soon. thats cool ig

[walpu]

hey, hey, I don't know how many times I've read your post "pre-relationship" especially aventurine part (omg i love how you write abt him 😭). I wonder how it will be once they are in a relationship and the kissing part please :3 thank u and have a nice day!

THANK YOUUUUU

Hope you'll enjoy this post too💛💛💛

being in a relationship with Aventurine

characters - Aventurine notes - gn!reader, fluff, hurt/comfort (do I even write something other that hurt/comfort for him lmao), no beta

can be seen as a part 2 of this post but it can stan on it's own as well

Aventurine

It would take quite some time for Aventurine to move from the pre-relationship stage with you. Will dance around the subject, throwing hints and flirty remarks but as for making an actual move? Oof.

Would cling to your side and shamelessly say something like "aww, can't get enough of me? people may think we're dating <З unless that's what you want them to think haha"

Pathetic. /affectionally.

But seriously, he really wants to be sure that you like him before making a move. That you like him, not his money, not the idea of him. At least that's what he tells himself. And while this is part of the reason, the actual thing is that he's simply... confused. He's already more vulnerable around you than he ever was around anyone else. And dating means being even more vulnerable.

While he yearns for this genuine connection he's also a scared of it. Tim Kreider wrote the line "If we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known" about him actually.

It would take some time for him to get used to being in relationship. In the previous post I've mentioned that he, most likely, had some short flings in the past. I seriously doubt that he ever had any serious relationship before you though. It's so new to him. At first it would seem like nothing has changed between the two of you at all. Surprisingly, it looks like he even became a bit more distant.

Aventurine doesn't want to attract any unwanted attention to your relationship since it will only endanger you. Plus he doesn't want to overwhelm you. Plus he doesn't want to overwhelm himself. Plus he is scared shitless.

He can't help but feel that he looses everything he holds dear. After all, it's been like that for all of his life. And he simply can't loose you.

Mini spoiler for his leaked character story, but there is a moment there when he looks at the aventurine stone Diamond gave him and he realizes that despite the fact that he worked so hard for it, now that he has it, it holds no real value since it doesn't fill the emptiness inside of him. Logically, he knows that this won't happen with you. He loves you too much. But there's this subconscious fear inside of him that he's just so messed up inside that he simply would not be able to love you like you deserve.

Be patient with him, this mans doesn't know what he's doing. Don't give up on him and he'll crawl to your side, holding onto you for dear life.

Once he will calm down a bit, he'll make it up for all those times when you were the one reaching out to him. Texts you, calls you, arranges spontaneous dates.

In the beginning of relationship would spoil you with expensive gifts. He knows what it's like to have nothing so he doesn't want you to ever feel this way. And the best way to prevent it? To make sure that you will have anything and everything. Maybe it's a subconscious way to bribe you. Maybe. Not like he realizes it himself.

Once he'll feel more stable and more confident, his gift giving tendencies will get less overwhelming. He still like giving you gifts but now he picks and chooses. His sugar darling deserves only the best, after all.

Acts all clingy, playful and unserious but actually listens to your every word and is ready to fulfil your every need.

Is actually very caring. Shows his care by pestering you and easing you tho.

If you feel down, will sit stay by your side. May randomly start tickling you, if you're ticklish. If not, will find another way to touch you in a playful and somewhat annoying way. After you cheer up a bit, Aven will put his chin on your shoulder and hugs your waist, softly asking what happen and why is his dearest darling seems sad.

As for kisses. Aven will loooove covering your face with butterfly kisses. And not only your face. Will randomly grab your hand and kiss your knuckles and fingertips. If you've made a mistake of exposing your shoulder then be ready for it to be kissed endlessly.

Adores kissing those parts of your body that are usually covered with clothes. It feels fore intimate for him.

And if you have freckles or/and beauty marks. Oh well. Will trace them with his fingertips, connecting them with some invisible lines and sometimes gasp playfully, saying that he found his constellation. Just a silly little guy being a silly little guy.

So touch-starved it's unreal.

Has very mixed feeling about his tattoo being kissed. Would feel... weirs if you would kiss it during your casual cuddling session. He exposes it for the world to see, yes. But still, when it attracts attention of someone who knows the meaning behind it... Makes him a bit tense, it catches him off-guard. However, if you kiss it after a lovemaking session or when he shares some painful memories with you, he will feel reassured.

Will slowly start crawling out of his shell when he's with you. Before he only shared some brief memories of his past with you, now he'll start slowly opening up about other, much more painful stuff.

It still happens randomly and out of the blue. He remembers something, he tenses up. But now, instead of repressing this feelings, he shares them with you.

Don't push him too talk, he'll slowly open up on his own.

Loves waking up next to you. Especially if you're still asleep. Seeing the sun shining on your face fills him with love and tenderness. Only with you by his side he feels truly safe.

#one day i'll learn to control my word vomit and my post'll stop being so fuckass long #hsr #honkai star rail #hsr aventurine #aventurine x reader #aventurine #walp's writing #reader insert

[theostrophywife]

Can I get a FIC abt the reader being Theodore’s gf and best friend and she’s embarrassed and alone in her dorm bc of cramps and they are REALLY REALLY bad and he just comforts her and they snuggle and he gives her his hoodie and fluffy!! (I’m dying from my cramps in my bed rn 🙏 I need comfort from my book bf)

heart shaped bruises.

pairing: theodore nott x reader.

song inspiration: toothpaste kisses by the maccabees.

author's note: i'm so sorry you're in pain, love. hope this makes you feel better 💗

Bloody fucking hell. 

You clutched your stomach, doubling over in pain as another wave of cramps crashed into you at full force. An anti period pain potion. That would be your first invention after finishing your education at Hogwarts. For now, you were forced to endure the pain and misery sans magic. 

The clock on your nightstand rang obnoxiously, rattling the various barrettes and books stacked atop the table. The alarm meant that Charms would be starting soon. With a rather hard smack, you silenced the clock and buried yourself underneath the covers. 

There was no way in hell that you were going to make it to class today.

You couldn’t even get out of bed, let alone walk to the other side of the castle. No, you were staying right here. Cocooned in the safety of your blankets so you could wallow in self pity in peace. 

Apparently, suffering in silence was too much to ask for because the minute the alarm finally stopped, there was a knock on your door. 

“Go away,” you yelled, the words slightly muffled by your goose down comforter. 

“Y/N?” A familiar voice called from the other side of the door. “Are you alright, love?”

Tears pricked the back of your eyes. No, you were definitely not alright. Your uterus was an active war zone, your emotions were a poorly assembled rollercoaster in an abandoned theme park, and to top it all off, you had a raging headache like someone had taken a bludger to your skull. 

But you couldn’t say all of that. You didn’t want to freak your boyfriend out. 

“I’m fine, Theo. Just feeling under the weather.” You clamped your eyes shut, trying to block out the migraine. “Go to class without me.”

There was shuffling from the hallway before your door swung open, revealing a very concerned Theo. He took in the sight of you in bed, your cheeks flushed and your eyes red from crying all morning. Theo was by your side in three strides. 

“What’s wrong, dolcezza?”

“Nothing, I’m just not feeling well.” A fresh set of cramps chose that exact moment to pummel your lower abdomen, making you wince in pain. 

“That’s not nothing, darling.” He knelt beside you, taking your hand. “Tell me what’s wrong, Y/N. I hate seeing you in pain.”

Your eyes watered again. “Promise you won’t laugh?”

“Of course not, love.”

“It’s these cramps,” you said slowly, shifting to face him. “I’m on my period and it’s just really bad today. Usually I take a pain relieving potion, but even that’s not working this time around.”

Theo’s face softened. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

You averted his gaze, flushing. “I guess I was embarrassed. I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.”

“It is a big deal,” said Theo. “Everything that has to do with you is a big deal to me. I hate thinking that you’ve been suffering through this all alone.”

“I just didn’t want to bother you with something so silly.”

“You could never bother me, Y/N.” Theo gently pulled back the covers. “If anything I’m the one bothering you right now. Scoot over, darling. Make room for your Teddy.”

“But you’ll miss Charms.”

“I’ve skipped for less. This time it’s actually important. You need me. I’m not leaving you.”

You smiled softly and made room for Theo. He instantly wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a snuggle. The familiar scent of sea salt and smoke felt like a warm hug in itself. Theo stroked your hair and kissed your temple. 

The cold air seeped in through your frosted glass windows, chilling you to the core. As much as you loved the ominous charm of living in the dungeons, this was one of its disadvantages. You shivered in Theo’s arms, cuddling closer for warmth. 

Your boyfriend radiated heat. You had no idea how when it was near freezing in your dorm. Theo liked to say he was hot blooded. You were just grateful to have your own personal heater. 

“Are you cold, darling?” 

You nodded, resting your head in the crook of his neck. “A little.”

Theo shifted beside you. He tugged at the hem of his hoodie and pulled it off in one swift move. “Arms up, love.”

You sat upright and did what you were told. Theo slipped his hoodie over you, smiling as the plush fabric swallowed you whole. It was warm and smelled like him. You wanted to drown in it. 

He kissed the tip of your nose. “It looks good on you, but don’t think that it gets you out of cuddling.” 

Theo pulled you to him, snuggling you from behind. He twined your legs together, making you giggle as his leg hair tickled the back of your thighs. You intertwined your fingers and kissed the back of his palm. 

The cramps may still be wreaking havoc on your body, but at least now you had Theo to comfort you. 

“How are you feeling, babe?” 

You turned, smiling. “Better now that you’re here, Teddy.”

Theo grinned and pressed a gentle kiss against your lips. “Get some rest, love. I’m not going anywhere.”

#WHEN DO I GET MY THEO WHEN HUH #theodore nott #theo nott #theo nott x reader #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott x you #theo nott x y/n #theo nott x you #theo nott fluff #theo nott fic #theo nott smut #theo nott imagine