#I just wanna draw girls kissing man. To you as the viewer it can be whatever you want it to be

[tubbytarchia]

"Cool ship art, unfortunately I'm interpreting it platonically" dude it's literally fine lol. Guys please. Art is meant to be interpreted. Don't call it unfortunate just because you think your interpretation differs from the artist's vision (and please refrain from using wording that implies strictly correct and wrong interpretations, it dismisses others!)

#blabber #Sorry this is just. A bit demoralising and dismissive to me as an artist #And well theres a whole other convo to be had about romantic vs platonic interpretation specifically #me personally though I could not give less of a fuck #I view some ships as more romantic and some as more platonic but I personally hate having to sort art into these two specific categories #I just wanna draw girls kissing man. To you as the viewer it can be whatever you want it to be

[waywardscorpio]

His Queen & Her King

Taglist: @callmekda @braunstrowmangirl @phoenixoffiretwo @luna-loo @scuzmunkie @fanfiction-san​ @superdakotawinchesterus​

Chapter 2

Warnings: Cursing, Violence, Pissed off Jeff, Readers Dad Triple H, Godfather Shawn Michaels and Uncles Kane and Undertaker, Pregnant!Reader kidnapped.

*Third Person POV*

*A month after the road trip and Jeff, putting another bundle of joy inside his mate*

Y/N was walking through the hallway of the arena while she had one hand on her belly and the other carrying her bag of food and drink. Her baby belly was a little more noticeable now. "Hey Y/N" Undertaker said. "Hey, Uncle Taker." She said looking up at him. "How are you doing?" She asked. "I'm doing fine. How are you and the little ones doing?" She looked up at him confused; because she thought she was only pregnant with one. "The doctor only said, one baby." She said softly. "You don't know do you?" He asked her. "Know what?" She asked. "You're a very rare type of human omega that can get pregnant even though you're already pregnant. It isn't dangerous to you or the babies. But it will put you in danger. Some Alpha's will do whatever it takes to have you and that includes holding you captive and breeding you to make soldiers or a small army" He said. He's older than some people actually know. "But I won't let any harm you." Taker said to her before walking down the hallway.

Y/N, let the words from Undertaker go around and around in her head as she walks to Jeff's locker room. "Hey, Babe." He replied as she walked into the room. "Hey, Darlin'," Y/N replied back to her as she was looking at him from across the room. "We need to have a talk tonight after work." She said to him as she looks at him. "Are you okay? Is the baby hurt? What is wrong?" Jeff said standing up and moving swiftly towards his love. "I am okay. The baby is okay. We just need to talk. I'm not leaving you before you even ask that question next." She said as she looks up at him rubbing his cheek. Jeff relaxed into her soft gentle touch.

"I think you should stay near Undertaker for my match. I have a feeling something is off and it gonna get ugly tonight." Jeff said getting an unsettling feeling that something isn't bad is going to happen and Jeff trusted Undertaker with Y/N's life more than anyone besides her parents. "But I'm supposed to go out there with you tonight Baby," Y/N said to him as she looked at him. "I know Babe, I want you to go out there too. But I have an uneasy feeling that something is going to happen tonight and I don't want you getting in the line of fire or our baby." Jeff said walking to her and carefully rubbing her belly. "Alright, I'll stay by Undertaker tonight." She said looking up at him.

Jeff walked Y/N to where Undertaker was at so, he knew she made it there safely and unharmed. "Hey Taker. Is it okay that she stays with you? I have an uneasy feeling that something is going to happen." He said looking at the taller male. "Yes, she is more than welcome." He said as he looks at a very reluctant Y/N. "As soon as my fight is over Baby, I will be right back here before going anywhere else." He said kissing her lips gently rubbing her cheek and her belly. "Please be careful out there tonight" She said resting her head against his chest. "I will Baby." Jeff said promising the love of his life he would be careful.

Jeff, walked out to the ring getting ready to fight tonight. "This match will be turned into 4 on 4 tag team match. It will be Jeff, Matt, Triple H and Shawn Michaels Vs Edge, Christian, Sheamus and Finn Balor." Lillian announce to the crowd and viewers at home to hear. Y/N's head shot up looking at the tv wide eyes. "No, that wasn't the match he was supposed to be in. Who changed it?" She exclaims looking up at Taker who grabs her hand and heading towards Stephanie's office. "Momma, Dad can't fight and Uncle Shawn can't either." Y/N held her belly on instinct. "I tried to stop the match before it was made. Someone changed it before consulting with us first. Nothing I can do to change it." Steph was furious that someone did this and was about to rip someone a new asshole. "Uncle Taker and Kane please take Daddy's and Uncle Shawn places. They can't fight and the person knows that. They'll be at a disadvantage." She pleads at the two males. Kane looks at Undertaker. "I'll fight tonight." Taker was having a internal battle with himself because he told Jeff, Y/N wouldn't leave his side till the match was over. "Please Uncle Taker" Y/N began to cry in desperation. "Okay Lil One. I will do it. But on the condition you stay by your mother at all times no mater what. Jeff will just have to understand." He said walking out with Kane, and heading to the ring. "I promise" She called out. She hugged her mother tightly. "I got you Baby Girl" She said hushing her Childs cries.

Lightening rang through the arena as Takers music came on and fire surrounds the ring. Jeff sees Kane and Undertaker walking down the ramp. "I have been informed that Triple H and Shawn, will be taken out the match and Undertaker and Kane will be put into the match instead." Lillian announce but silently sighs in relief. "Y/N is supposed to be with you" Jeff said to Taker quietly. "Calm Jeff. She begged us to come out because she knew you'd be at a disadvantage since her Daddy Triple H and uncle Shawn are still healing from two weeks ago. She didn't want you guys to take a chance yourselves considering you two have a tag team title match coming at WrestleMania." Kane said. "I much rather my pregnant mate be safe than myself." Jeff said. Kane and Taker understood his point but also couldn't leave their fellow wrestlers defenseless. "She is safe I promise you. She is with her mother and her momma's ready to rip someone a new Asshole." Undertaker said to him.

Jeff didn't fight with the older man. He knew Y/N, was safe either way. As the match got started Matt and Edge started it off. They didn't hold back on each other either. Lefts and rights were thrown hard and on purpose. "Come on Matt" Kane holler holding his hand out for Matt to tag him in. Matt kicked him Edge in the ribs which gave him the leverage he needed to get away from him so he can tag in Kane. Kane steps over the ropes and started hitting Edge with right, Lefts and wasn't giving him any breathing room. Edge uppercuts Kane when he gets the chance which stuns him and Edge is able to tag in Balor. He has a advantage for a few seconds before Jeff was tagged in and went to town on Balor. Jeff was letting his anger out on his opponent. "You got this Jeff come on" Matt said cheering on his brother. Jeff had twisted his arm behind him and leads him to his corner to tag in the Undertaker.

The match was drawing to a end when Undertaker was tagged back in. He hit Christian with the Tombstone Piledriver and with a count of three Jeff and the others got in the ring raising the Undertakers hand who won them the match. After the mini celebration in the ring everyone walked out. Edge stops Jeff to give him a message. "Hey look I know we aren't the best of friends but I wanna let you know that I saw someone watching your car earlier after you guys got here and someone was following Y/N. It is someone new because I don't know the persons face or scent." Edge said. "Thank you, Edge. I have an uneasy feeling tonight's not over with. whoever made this match done it on purpose but didn't expect Kane and Undertaker to step in." Jeff said to him. "Lita has been uneasy all night worried saying they're coming but didn't get to see their faces when she had a vision. Just be safe." Edge said before walking over to Lita. Jeff mouths a thank you to her. She only nodded her head in response.

Jeff walked to his mother-n-laws office and walked in. "Hey Baby. How are you and the baby?" Jeff asked his mate as he rubbed her back and belly knowing she is tired. "We are perfect. Just tired. How much longer till we can go home?" She asks her mate. "We will be staying with someone for a while. Just got a message from a friend that someone has been watching us and following." Jeff said to Y/N. She whimpered a little in fear. "What?" They heard Steph say. "Baby go get your stuff while I talk to your mom and dad okay?" She nods her head softly. Undertaker was in ear lengths and stayed near her walking her to the dressing room to get her things while Jeff talked to her parents. "Edge stopped me after the match to let me know that people have been following me and Y/N since we been here, and that the scent is unfamiliar and not known around here. He also mentioned Lita had a vision that someone is coming but she couldn't see their faces." Jeff said to Triple H and Steph. "Why are they after you or her or both of you?" Steph asked. "I don't know but I think is has something to do with her being pregnant by me." He said to her. "Whatever it takes you protect her, you here me?" Triple H said to him. "Yes Sir. I'll give my last breath to protect her if that's what it take for her to live." Jeff said unknowing that that statement was about to be put to the test.

While Jeff is taking to Steph and Triple H, Y/N is getting her stuff ready to go when the lights in the building suddenly shut off and came back on. In a blink of an eye Y/N was gone. Jeff ran down the hallway to his dressing room. "Holy hell. Taker are you good?" Jeff asked helping him up. "I was hit over the head after the lights went out. When they came back on she was gone." He said to Jeff, holding the back of his head. "It is newbies trying to rise up through the business so, their going after one of the top dogs here. Y/N's going to be their pawn to use as an advantage. They know no, one will do anything to harm her but they know you will go looking for her. If it comes down to it they'll do unspeakable things to her. Especially since they know she is able to get pregnant multiple times at once. She is a Human Omega it is rare for ones like her to be able to carry more than one baby at a time." Undertaker said to Jeff. Jeff paces thinking at what way he can approach this with out his Omega Mate getting hurt. "Jeff you aren't in this alone." Shawn said walking in the room with Kane, walking over to his brother and checking the back of his head. "We will fight with you over her" Triple H said. "Just be ready for a battle to start." Steph said.

"The battle started the minute the took her." Jeff said calm and deadly. Steph smiled to her husband knowing they picked a good man for their daughter. Jeff walked out to the ring and grabbed a mic. He was careful and tactical with his words even with how angry he was. He won't give the kidnappers the satisfaction to see his pain because once he does they have the power. "You come here" He said to a camera man. "Sir?" he said stepping in the ring with Jeff. "I want you to tape this live." He said. The male nods his head in fear sensing the anger and absolute power dripping off the man. He put the cam on his shoulder and began to tape. "I hope you sick fuckers are listening. You think it was wise for you take a mans pregnant mate. Especially a dangerous man like me who will stop at nothing to get her back. You wanted a battle? A battle you can't possibly come out standing on top. We will see who is left standing when I am done with you because you opened the gates of hell and stepped into my cage!!!" He said looking into the cam. "I won't be alone when I get my hands on you."

"Just know if she has so much as a scratch on her.. Well I show just how sadistic I am when I'm provoked or pushed." Jeff said. "Oh one more thing. Y/N Darlin' I'm coming for you." He adds. She heard her Alpha on the tv and she smiles to herself knowing the men that took her are about to know why Jeff is one of the most feared men in the Wwe besides Undertaker and Kane. "What are you smiling about whore?" One said. "You fucked up. You'll see just what he is going to do to you

#jeff hardy x reader #jeff hardy #WWE Raw #WWE #wwe smackdown #WWE NXT #wwe x reader #stephanie mcmahon #Triple H #fanfiction #wwe fanfiction #x reader #vampires

[mcustorm]

45 M/M Gay Movies, Ranked

The other day I bit the bullet and decided to watch Brokeback Mountain for the first time. All I knew about that movie was that it was basically the CMBYN of yesteryear and somebody got killed with a tire iron. Anyways, so I finish the movie and realize that I’ve seen a *lot* of gay movies, especially in the last couple of years. So here are my rankings according to nothing but my personal preference. I won’t write about all of them, but you can ask about something if I leave it out.

I wish I could give you a rubric for this. The reality is, there are some radically different movies on this list with different tones and intentions. There’s buddy comedies, tearjerkers, small indie features, big theater releases. So trying to rank them all is TUFF.

The Way He Looks - Such a beautiful coming-of-age movie. Maybe the 2nd one I saw on this list? Perfect length, perfect characterization, simple yet compelling, clever. And nothing feels better than reaching a happy ending (for once, because some of these movies’ endings-- SHEESH) that’s been earned. It just hasn’t been topped.

2. God’s Own Country

3. Pride

4. Kanarie - Yea, we don’t talk about this movie enough. It’s one of the most recent that I’ve seen. Beautiful. The way that it references apartheid and the war to reflect the protagonist’s feelings? Flawless.

5. Jongens - The first movie that I saw on this list, gets many a bonus point for that.

6. Moonlight - Yes, I am black. Yes, I understand this movie may be too low. Moonlight kind of scares me. In general, there’s not nearly enough discourse surrounding this one for me. But while it’s not exactly a popcorn-muncher, to me it’s the most personal movie on the list. When I look at Chiron and all that he’s been through, I can’t help but draw parallels to my own story up to this point. It holds a mirror up to me in a way that no other movie on this list does. That makes me uncomfortable.

But it is so poetic. Have you guys seen the script for this? The directing, the SOUNDTRACK, the acting. Phenomenal. 

7. Weekend

8. Call Me By Your Name - Yes, I am aware of people’s beef with this one. Yes, I understand a lot of people may feel this one is overrated. While I do think this one gets worse on rewatch, the truth is, it’s not really *that* overrated because hot take: most (meaning over half) of the movies on this list range somewhere from “just okay” to “painstakingly bad”.

It’s the score, the cinematography, the subtext in most all of the dialogue, the acting, the way that you can smell the apricots through the fucking screen. People who say this movie is a vacation ad are fucking CORRECT. One of my biggest gripes however is that it’s too fucking long. And uh, that age difference...

And Armie Hammer’s a weirdo...

9. Dating Amber* - Dating Amber has one of those “Duh” premises that sounds like it could’ve been done like 30 times before yet I can’t think of any other examples of it. So what you’d think would be a wacky premise actually turns out to be a frankly poignant movie with an emotional story arc for the main two characters.

10. Hello Stranger: The Movie* - This movie, which is the first sequel (sorta) on the list, frankly had no business being as good as it was. Even though the web series is required viewing, I felt the movie fixed like all of the series’ issues: pacing, lack of compelling drama, the awkward quarantine format. The drama and stakes are there without us having to visit Angst City. And the theme and the ending reprise is HEAT.

11. Uncle Frank* -  Uncle Frank is like The Help of gay movies. Like The Help, it’s *overall* a short, sweet and fluffy movie set decades ago. Like The Help, you’ll still come out of it feeling pretty good even though it has some dark moments. Also like The Help, you’ll wonder after the fact if the central white girl absolutely needed to be so...well, central for this story to be told. Bonus points for Paul Bettany and Character Actress Margo Martindale.

12. Brokeback Mountain - Tragic.

13. Moffie - Set during the South African border war, same as Kanarie. You even hear the word “moffie” throughout Kanarie. Anyways, this is a war movie for the gays, and a very intense watch. I liked that it was a much more realistic view of what a soldier endured during that period, and of course on the flip side I thought it was more thorough in its depiction of the rampant racism. I gotta find a good book on this era.

14. A Moment In the Reeds

15. Get Real - Maybe the most out of place movie on the list. I need to rewatch it. I do recall absolutely loving the score, however. Like, I fucks with this:

16. Freier Fall - When I finished Brokeback I was like, “Wait, wasn’t that just Free Fall with extra steps?” And yea, it kinda is. But even discount Brokeback is still pretty good.

17. Beautiful Thing - There are few things to like about this one, the relationship between the two guys, the mother’s love for her son even though it’s not all rainbows, that nice little final scene. I did not care for the dark-skinned woman being portrayed as, you know, the drug abusing, school dropout, gossipy, butt of jokes neighbor. But that guy really looks like Tom Holland tho.

18. Love, Simon - It’s at this point that I move from “Yea, that movie is good, you should watch it!” to “Look, you may like it, you may not.”

19. The 10 Year Plan - This movie is so fucking cheesy that there was cheddar coming though my speakers. But when I think of “Hallmark/Lifetime, but for the gays” this is the crown jewel. There’s some other movies on this list that could’ve taken some notes.

20. The Christmas Setup* - The trend of fluffy-white-gay-cable-network-movie continues and in good form. It’s not deep. It’s not really thought provoking. It’s cute. Fran Drescher is there. You should watch it.

21. Giant Little Ones

22. Hidden Kisses

23. Alex Strangelove - In a unique twist, the emotional core of this one is arguably between Alex and his girlfriend. All that ends up happening, however, is we the viewer keep wanting more Alex/Elliott scenes; those are the most electric in the whole movie. The end result is a hot yet endearing mess.

24. Fair Haven

25. The Thing About Harry - Freeform’s attempt at making a cheesy rom-com for the gays. It’s...okay. I personally feel like the main character’s friend is highkey trifling but it’s whatever.

26. Your Name Engraved Herein* - So I guess I’ve decided I officially hate angst. I mean, I get how it’s often necessary to tell an effective story, but I’m just not here for 2 hour indie angst fests that get passed off as “high art” anymore. I cannot do it. Somehow this is Brokeback’s fault...there just has to be a better way to tell gay stories in the 2020′s. Anyways, the last song was fuego.

27. The Perfect Wedding - Easily the most bizarre movie on this list. It’s so bad, I liked it a lot.

28. Naz and Maalik - The first half of the movie with the two leads just riffing is some pretty great stuff. The back half starts throwing plot developments that are just less than interesting.

29. My Best Friend

30. The Curiosity of Chance

31. Being 17 - Boring. Angsty.

32. And Then We Danced

33. Center of My World - Has some of the most trifling characters EVER. I was so angry. This movie for me has *0* rewatchability.

34. Just Friends

35. 4th Man Out - This movie was basically “a bro/Hangover-style movie, but for the gays.” I absolutely love the intention, but the execution was a little shoddy. One day we’re gonna get a flawless movie that nails what this movie was going for. I hope we remember this movie whenever that day comes.

36. Latter Days - So fucking preachy. 

37. GBF - Another bizarre one, but at least this movie gets how wacky it is.

38. Beach Rats

39. Shelter - I’ve noticed a lot of people like this one. To that I say...yikes. Remember that scene from Family Guy where Peter says he doesn’t care for The Godfather? I did not care for Shelter. It insists upon itself (not really, but still).

40. Handsome Devil

41. Esteros - It’s at this point of the list that we shift from “Movies that are the definition of ‘ight’ “ to “These movies are bad. Bad. BAAAAAD.”

42. Monster Pies

43. Were the World Mine - I couldn’t even finish it. Wanna watch a better musical? Go watch Kanarie. Wanna watch a better Shakespeare adaptation? The Lion King is the movie for you, or even fucking She’s the Man.

44. North Sea Texas - So boring. I actually think this one may need a rewatch, because I swear it shouldn’t have been as terrible as it was.

45. Salvation Army - I have no idea what this movie was going for. I understand that it is autobiographical, however...it simultaneously barely has any plot or character developments. This one has shades of Beach Rats, but it’s significantly worse, and I didn’t even like Beach Rats that much.

So that’s it, thanks if you made it down this far. I guess I’ll update the list as I inevitably watch more of these. I would love movie recommendations! 

#lgbtcinema #the way he looks #cmbyn #love simon #thanks for reading #thanks profusely to the gif-makers #i couldn't finish maurice...i'm so sorry #half of these are breaking glass or wolfe #argue with yo mama

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, SE02, Ep20

This is a buildup ep for yuki’s confession, like most buildup eps in furuba they kinda seem awkward & a bit stretched, but overall this one is not bad. 

-The theme of “ letting go” & tohru:

Tohru needs to Not only let go of her excessive attachment to her mom, but also, of treating yuki as needing of much help all the time. tohru’s is the mother friend for all, she tends to care for everybody, however, since she lives with yuki, this instinct fire up & she provides care, nurture, support & worry lots abt him since she knows the sohma’s abuse. Their dynamics need to change as yuki is starting to depend on himself as equal leaving tohu’s nest, tohru needs to accept his change & support him differently from before. The analogy of yuki leaving the nest is also fitting of tohru’s need to focus on herself since her nest is now empty. Tohru has also been using her motherly care for others to avoid working/focusing on herself. I find it ironic that Arisa’s “ tohru come convince kyo, he doesn’t wanna be a prince” comes as tohru & yuki acknowledge the need of a modified dynamics between them & she sends him off with her “ do your best” instead of her usual “don’t overwork yourself”. She leaves him to go to kyo/her own personal life that she needs to focus on.

-The Endless Parallels:

As yuki is starting to open his lid to his pal, the focus is shifted to machi! I’m happy she’s back. Similar to kyo’s apology into tohru’s ears in Se01, machi was given the questionable behavior without explanation treatment to hook viewers & I’m hooked! I know I’ll love this girl. It was pretty clear that her & kakeru are yuki exclusive characters & if he’s the best buddy, she’s the love interest. To connect her with yuki, certain good parallels were hinted at from the beginning:

She always leaves a mess behind, yuki lives in a messy room.

She has to have traumatizing background in order to make her need yuki in her life cuz part of yuki’s wishes is to provide for someone who needs him the way kyo provides for tohru. Yuki is ready to give back, now that he’s healing. Machi is yuki’s person.

Her coping mechanism is a bit similar to yuki in SE01, she shuts herself from others, doesn’t talk much & is withdrawn. I love that they both have somewhat similar coping  mechanism regardless of the nature of heir trauma, it makes them both less ashamed of what they adopted to cope regardless if it’s wrong/harmful. 

 She has low self esteem & is shocked when someone notices her, very lonely which is why she noticed yuki’s loneliness since Day 1.

She saw through yuki’s resistance of his “prince” title. She’s perceptive in nature just like him.

She looks physically more similar to yuki than she’s to kakeru, her brother, (yuki’s family grayish hair/his mom’s /ayame’s long eyes). Not really fond of that, but no harm, I think it was done so she & yuki will have similar aesthetic & have similar color shades.

All these are amazing parallels above help connect characters together & build relationships. However, I’m kinda annoyed that the writer went over board with the parallels, to the point of semi-exact situation:

Machi & Kakeru are siblings who were not close at all due to abusive family attitude. Exactly Similar to: Ayame & Yuki.

Kakeru is the older brother & was able to stop his abuse cuz of his character or extreme behavior that saved him from being caged into the family’s grasp while machi, the younger, was unable to escape & isn’t free yet. Exactly Similar to: Ayame & Yuki. 

Kakeru, the eldest, is trying hard to reach out to his sibling & aid her as much as he can but fails due to his insensitive character or his failure to see where she stands. Exactly Similar to: Ayame & Yuki. 

In their relationship, kakeru is the extreme, bubbly & bigger than life character while machi is the vulnerable, silent, withdrawn one. Exactly Similar to: Ayame & Yuki. 

This is a ton load of parallels that is not much needed to make machi suitable for yuki. I know that the writer is aware that machi is introduced late into the story, & is eager to flesh her out to be loved, but I don’t think that adding all these similarities to yuki’s life is the way to go. In the contrary, it makes her seem like a female version of him without the curse. Machi should be fascinating without yuki or kakeru. I guess making her kakeru’s sister helps create situations of yuki knowing more abt her without her talking & can be used to redeem kakeru’s character if he was ever harsh to her the way ayame was cuz you bet kakeru will play matchmaker. but overall, it takes uniqueness from machi’s situation herself & draws more attention towards yuki & kakeru. More focus on what will yuki & kakeru do. I really love her form the few things I saw abt her & her reactions, but yeah, don’t mind me~ it was a fleeting feeling of disappointment. Oh well, it is what it is. I hope her own perspective of her situation is rewarding.

-Machi is NO weak woman:

She really isn’t! She took control of the situation when she noticed it needed quick intervention. That’s why, the first set of 6 parallels mentioned above is important for machi! She saw through yuki without needing to know abt the exact similarities of their abusive homes. You don’t need all that to see through someone who was in the darkness for years, cuz she too, must’ve been in the darkness as well! So, in unique fashion, she comes & destroys yuki’s walls. Don’t worry, I’ll save you. I see you.

-Cinderella ( what??):

I didn’t expect elementary school fairly tale to be chosen & I sure didn’t see the cast choices coming! XD I’m sure sth will happen & they’ll change cast. but It’s 100% awesomely spot on in a reversed manner!! So Ironic!

Yuki godmother means yuki in female dress???? similar to SE01, Momiji ep! poor yuki! plus godmother is a nonhuman character that is superior & grants wishes & yuki is considered stronger than normal human without training & despite weak health, all his skills are always extraordinary. But maybe becuz he’s nearly done healing/opening the lid, he’ll help the others now, godmother style. XD

Tohru is evil stepsister?? Tohru is kindness reincarnated! but perhaps tohru needs a hint of evilness to wake up for herself & be more assertive! plus tohru is considered evil by yuki’s fan club (there’s an entire ep dedicated for that lol).

Hana Cinderella?? The queen of darkness & eerie wave reports who can see right through humans will play the weak, powerless Cinderella. XD. But it suits her cuz she was once called witch when in reality she’s kind.

Arisa a prince! the woman who wants to be a model & is desperate to turn kureno’s head with her womanly charms & is dying for a kiss from him in their first meeting! XD. but it suits her as she used to be a gangster? XD.

Kyo the prince?! the most un-princely prince! kyo’s kindness & warmth is exclusive to kazuma & tohru, the rest of the world sees him as the always annoyed, easily teased, harmless dude! Princes are diplomatic with their words! kyo’s life would be over in a second if it depended on his words! XD. He depends on his physical body & actions to show affection & love. You want him to be shower girls with compliments the way princes do?XD. but it suits him in a way, cuz he stole the main female protagonist’s heart like in all fairy tales & he’s genuine with his affection. XD.

I want Cinderella play NOW! plz don’t change the cast!!

Side Note:

The ep started with yuki’s statement abt what he wants from tohru, however, failed to deliver an answer by the end. It is obvious that (a) the answer will be given once yuki explains himself (b) a tease to hook the viewers into waiting for yuki’s answer. However, it was badly done. Rather than giving anticipation, it gave a disappointing feel. It dragged a genuine & vulnerable moment for the entire ep for cheap hook by the end. It can be completely avoided by not opening the ep with yuki’s lines. The thrill/anticipation would’ve come 10 times stronger with his closing lines leaving viewers with “OMG, he’ll say it next ep!! rather than “ what? i was waiting for that all ep? man~, next ep perhaps?”. I duno what is the nature of the manga chapters. but there are times when it’s so clear to me (an anime-only) when the show adapts things via direct cut & paste rather than working them to suit the ep format. Generally, the show doesn’t know how to implement cliffhangers, so I really wish they avoid them altogether.

From the way he handled machi’s apology to his firmness with the chibi member, to his elaborated speech with kakeru, to his calmness inside the locked room & how the flashback didn’t affect him as much as I thought it would! yuki’s growth is 90% complete! =D! You go boy!

I gotta confess..I’m slightly disappointed that kakeru turned out to be another abuse survival child. I was loving the idea that yuki is connecting with someone via their own character/personality not shared past of similar experiences cuz there are TONS of those in furuba. Kakeru’s character with (mix kyo-ayame) & virtues/vices is a good balance for yuki, adding the abusive past is hinting that broken kids only befriends broken kids which isn’t true. Plus this means that all young characters “with importance to the plot” must be abused one way or another... I know furuba has a theme..but you don’t have to make it part of every important character. I still love kakeru tho. but if kimi turned out to be ANOTHER abused child, I’m quitting furuba! XD..jokes..

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #tired paper

[culebratia]

Honest opinions on horror villains

Okay so I love horror villains and horror in general. Most of them are really interesting and have a sort of grotesque charm to them that I can’t really describe, it draws you to them and pulls you into wanting more. But there are some horror villains that are either overrated and underrated, and today I’m here to discuss some of them! (I’d like to reiterate that I don’t hate any of these characters, I actually like them all! But I’m just talking in a general perspective and my view on their popularity and the actual movie they come from.)

LESLIE VERNON

* overrated.

* okay, I know, people are going to get upset at me over this. This was an amazing movie, they said. It’s so new and different from the others, they said. And I completely understand that! It’s unique and inventive and I love the whole premise of the movie, but goddamn did it bore me..

* I like Leslie Vernon as a character, but I don’t love him like I do with other characters. He’s cool! I adore his slasher design, but his personality bores me a little bit at times. There are some points where my emotions and feelings on the guy are a little bit like a rollercoaster — up and down, up and down, up and down. It’s crazy.

* once again, I like the concept of his movie, but the way it was presented in a filmmaking point of view is underwhelming.

ART THE CLOWN

* underrated.

* there are three movies I know of with Art in them: The 9th Circle, All Hallow’s Eve and Terrifer. And all of them are equally shit, which is to be expected since it was written and directed by a young guy who specialises in special effects. But damn was Art interesting to watch.

* there are some points in the movies where I think “why couldn’t he have starred in a better made film?” because if that were so, he’d get so much more publicity! Art is an absolutely terrifying demon clown creature, way more scary than Pennywise, and people from around the world should know his name! He’s the only character in all the movies who actually has good actors.

* shitty movie, fantastic character. I hope to see more of him.

MICHAEL MYERS

* overrated by a milestone.

* look, I’m all for Michael Myers. He’s hot, lemme tell you that. But he’s a really boring character. It’s all the same (apart from the 3rd movie)! Michael returns to his hometown to find and kill Laurie, killing a whole other group of people who she happens to be involved with at some time during the movie.

* when I watch a horror movie, I want to have the villain to have some sort of character. At least with Jason, you can see some emotion in him which defines him as a whole! But with Michael? He’s a clean slate, and that is soo uninteresting.

* first two movies were great, others were unneeded honestly.

BILLY LENZ

* underrateeeeed.

* stinky attic boy needs some love. He is what started the slasher genre for peats sake and yet everyone overlooks him as a horror villain. Let me tell you, that phone scene in the beginning was absolutely fucking terrifying when I first watched it, and it’s still unsettling to this day even after I’ve watched it a million fucking times.

* we never even got to see Billy’s face properly throughout the whole movie and yet he made such an impact on everyone who ever watched Black Christmas! And that ending scene? Perfect cliffhanger. (The remake was shit compared to the original)

* great movie, great character, needs more credit.

BRAHMS HEELSHIRE

* overrated.

* bet y’all are shocked at this aren’t you? He’s the character I most often write for. But that’s really because he’s heavily requested. I actually don’t really like him all that much, too much exposure I guess. I mean I have nothing against his character as a whole, he’s attractive to me and interesting but I don’t actually know.

* now the movie is something I do know about though: bullshit. Absolutely terrible. A basic plot line (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing sometimes, it just needs to be played out right) and a director which results to cheap jump scares because apparently that’s ‘scary’. The movie as a whole is so predictable and it never scared me once when I went to watch it at the cinema. I can understand why people like it though.

* decent(?) character, bad movie.

OTIS DRIFTWOOD + family

* underrated.

* okay this might have something to do with my weakness for Bill Moseley, scarily cute women and clowns, but man do I love the Firefly family. Each and every character, even the ones we barely see, within the family is so perfectly polished and unique, and I love Rob Zombie for it. He can’t write dialogue for shit but man do I love his horror villains.

* although the first movie was very confusing at some points. Like, what?? What was with that ending? It was a very good movie in my opinion and was actually pretty horrifying. It used things that disgust us and manipulated that to terrify every single one of its viewers and that’s perfect. Hated the protagonists though.

* fantastic movie, great villains, shitty protagonists,

FREDDY KRUEGER

* overrated.

* now don’t get me wrong, I love Freddy, I grew up loving Freddy. He’s witty and fun to watch, maybe not like Chucky, but after a while he gets so repetitive that it gets really really annoying. Couldn’t they think of something unique and interesting for him to say instead of him just calling everyone a bitch??

* the writing becomes boring after a while, the directors add so many unnecessary features, weaknesses and powers we had no clue even existed up until this very point, and it’s overall not a very good franchise when you get into it. I enjoyed the first and seventh movie a lot, but all of the other ones didn’t really excite me all that much.

* okay character, okay movie, but isn’t worth all the attention.

NUBBINS SAWYER, DRAYTON SAWYER, CHOP-TOP SAWYER + GRANDPA SAWYER

* un👏🏽der👏🏽ra👏🏽ted

* these boys deserve just the same amount of attention that Leatherface does. I know that Bubba is a really cool character, and he deserves attention too! But that doesn’t mean that his family get to be left out. Each and every single one of them helped shape the Texas Chainsaw franchise to what it is today, and honestly it wouldn’t have been as amazing without them in it.

* Texas Chainsaw has so many metaphors within it nobody really goes into. When we first meet Nubbins and he’s kicked out of the van, Franklin very obviously points out “would you be able to do that?” referring to Nubbins slicing his hand up, and later on we see Franklin blowing raspberries at his friends due to the fact that he couldn’t go upstairs because of his disability, which is exactly what Nubbins was doing when he couldn’t get into the van. This area is the director exploring the ways that people could so easily turn into madness without people realising it.

* Drayton Sawyer is your average looking fellow who runs the Sawyer household, but he is not average at all. He’s sadistic, witty, hypocritical, and surprisingly still a Christian. He claims that he “doesn’t like to do the killing” and yet he’s shown constantly poking and prodding at the final girls like they’re some caged animals, living only for the pleasure of himself. The fact that he’s an elderly man basically screams “wolf in sheeps clothing”, because usually when you see an elderly person, you assume them to be kind and wise, whereas, Drayton can’t even spell ‘sex’ correctly.

* Chop-Top wasn’t present in the first movie sadly, but it’s explained why, which is understandable in a filmmaking perspective. He is probably the most terrifying character out of the bunch. He’s impulsive, disgusting, and absolutely fucking insane. Whether or not this is due to his time in Vietnam I don’t know, but man does it make a great affect. And that time in the movie where he was introduced? It was absolutely heavenly. No one in today’s horror industry would build up suspense like that and cause so much raw fear from a petty jump scare. The fact that he carries around his damn brothers corpse like he’s puppet, treating him like he’s still a living being adds onto the scare factor as well.

* great villains, good movies, everything after TCSM2 wasn’t really very good though.

Okay, now that’s over and done with! Let me show you my top ten favourite horror villains (from actual horror movies), you’ll either be completely shocked or completely not! :)

Pinhead — love the creature design. Fantastic personality and concept. Annoyed he’s not a woman.

Bubba Sawyer — baby boy needs love. And affection. And kisses. And basically anything positive. We must protect him.

Chop-Top Sawyer — terrified me when I first saw him as a kid. I wanna fuck Bill Moseley. I love his personality. Wish his movie came out.

Captain Spaulding — funny ass motherfucker. Always cracks me up. I want him to be my daddy.

Hannibal Lecter — interesting in a psychological perspective. Has a way to make your skin crawl without doing much.

Art the Clown — scarier than Pennywise. I wish his movies were better. Why didn’t Terrifier make it obvious he was a demon?

Otis Driftwood — boy’s a hottie. But please stop fucking corpses. Once again, Bill Moseley.

Stu Macher — first fictional crush. He’s my irl type of guy. I dated a guy like him once.

Jennifer Check — movie was ahead of its time. Legit was about having a succubus gf. Lesbian scene was hot. I’m gay for Meagan Fox.

Billy Lenz — terrifying phone calls. Nasty boi. The remakes will never be as great as the OG Black Christmas.

Anyways, so that’s it! It’s past midnight currently so I might just go to bed lol but whatever. I’ve wanted to write this out for a whiiile but decided to just get it over with now. I’ll say it all again: every character I write for, I like, I just have different levels of like, so please no hate over this. Thanks!

#horror #movie #pinhead #art the clown #brahms heelshire #leslie vernon #michael myers #billy lenz #jennifer check #chop top sawyer #drayton sawyer #nubbins sawyer #freddy krueger #otis driftwood #baby firefly #captain spaulding #bubba sawyer #stu macher #ghostface

[yourmomwatchesskam]

This is hilarious. TharnType and Effect are NOT for teenagers! They have stereotypes that are DANGEROUS for lgbt+ community! I don't know much about both this series but for example tharntype this is serie where not gay man was raped and then he's living with gay man in one room and they started war. And you know what this gay roommate do? He kissed him when he was drunk and touched him. And this is only beginning (i don't know what next and i don't wanna know). You can watch it but be aware

I’m thinking that we have pretty different definitions of ‘hilarious.’

CW/TW (sexual assault)

My teen group consists of 16-19 y/o, which the u18 y/o need permission slips from their parents for anything rated M. 

With that being said, the common theme in both of these series is sexual assault. There is absolutely nothing hilarious about censoring this information from teenage viewers (which are the majority of their viewers) especially LGBT+ youth. 

We watched The Effect & had some very important discussions following the series.. Discussions we wouldn’t have had without watching it. 

The LGBT+ Community is already full of stereotypes, & it’s important that young people are aware of them.. whether they are participating in that behavior, witnessing it from others, or experiencing it themselves. Awareness is key, & by shielding them from the harsh realities that exist, doesn’t make it go magically away.

It’s long, but here’s the article I just published about it: (TRIGGER WARNING)

How Culture Crosses Over in International LGBT+ Films

*trigger warning/content warning

I facilitate a LGBT+ Support Group for teens, parents, & teachers integrating the use of film & media to focus on current & relevant topics that youth are facing in today’s society. Society variables change across cultures in how they affect LGBT people, but there are a few major things that don’t get lost in translation. So when the teen group asked that we watch & discuss these international shows, I agreed.

In the United States, the suicide rate for boys & girls remains the same until 10 years old, but after that, the suicide rate doubled for 10–14 year old boys. At 15–19, they’re 4 times more likely to die by suicide & 5 times more likely by age 20–25. (Although, the highest rate for men is middle-age.) Also in the United States, at least 1 in 6 boys under 18 years old are victims of sexual assault or rape.

I don’t know Thailand’s stats, & I’m not going to attempt to speak on behalf of their culture when it comes to such sensitive subjects, but this is a prime example of when LGBT films around the world, & across many different cultures, provides accurate & relatable representation for a large variety of different audiences. With stats like these, if you haven’t experienced something like this yourself, chances are you know someone that has.

These are the significantly complex, yet very necessary conversations we need to be having. Especially on behalf of those who are unable to have them because they’re too afraid or ashamed to. From what I know, the themes of these shows are unlike a lot of other plots that these drama series normally have- which is why so many people (that haven’t read the novels) have been surprised by them. There are, however, many people & reviews showing support for highlighting such issues. The thing is, people know all too well that these issues exist. That’s why some people watch shows like this to begin with, because it provides an escape from the everyday world. But, no matter how true that may be, it’s also important to make room for the other side of LGBT experiences & allow them to be brought to attention as well.

The Effect was a prime example of:

Kind behavior getting misinterpreted as flirting.

“Flirting” getting misinterpreted as consent for sex.

Sex being rejected but still getting disregarded.

Rape, followed by victim-blaming & shaming because “they were the one that started it.”

Followed by fear, shame, guilt, obligation, confusion, regret, a decline in mental health in some cases & at worst, the inability to feel safe within one’s own mind/body, that the only option believed to be available for escape from the inevitable pain, is death.

It’s important to note that we weren’t told the sexual orientation of the main character in The Effect. & I think this highlights the prominent question of, “Does it matter?” Because what we absolutely do know is that he said no.

There is a quote from a scene in CMBYN where Mrs. Pearlman is reading an excerpt from a book with the quote, “Is it better to speak or to die?” & although it sounds fictitious in nature, the truth behind that is people believe some things are best left unsaid when it comes to their own irreconcilable feelings. In some cases, that can be helpful. But, in other cases, it can be harmful. Men are taught to be strong, to not appear weak, to toughen up, to put yourself last, to let bygones be bygones, to not show emotion (aside from anger), & to not talk about uncomfortable things to help prevent others from feeling uncomfortable as well. As a result, what’s also taught is to quickly move past those feelings, but what happens to those that can’t?

How are people supposed to move past pain that they’re not allowed to have, but are forced to keep? That’s not strength, that’s suppression.

Depending on culture & other circumstances, mental health therapy might not even be (considered) an option. Depending on the individual, there might not be any reporting of the crime, as we saw on The Effect. Many cases don’t ever get reported, & some that do, an arrest is never made. This is something every country can relate to, but not everyone country is talking about. & with the stigma attached to it with the way that trauma affects the mind & the body, who could blame anyone for not wanting to draw even more attention to their experience by bringing it in the spotlight?

If you’re also watching the show TharnType, you know that we get direct insight into a person’s trauma response, as well as what can sometimes happen as a result of when it does get reported. Not that anyone’s trying to condone Type’s homophobia & his personal struggle with his own sexuality, but if we are to condemn it, at least we understand it. We know a few things: Type being attracted to Tharn is not a result of the childhood assault that occurred. Just because Type is attracted to Tharn doesn’t have to necessarily mean he’s exclusively gay (although he very well could be). & if he were gay, it doesn’t make him an offender. (Even though a lot of society tends to think this way.) There is a common misconception that all gay/bi men are pedophiles & rapists, often stemming from men who have been the victims of abuse/rape as children, to older predatory men. Sex offenders exist within all categories of: age, race, class, nationality, religion, sexuality, profession, income, political party etc.. nothing is exempt.

We need to be able to communicate clearly that sexual abuse/rape is not a sexual orientation. & that suicide does not only affect people with mental illness.

These are both emotionally involved/intense shows with such deeper meaning, that are definitely worth the watch. If you are sensitive to these topics than proceed with caution for The Effect because it is very graphic. However, with such prevalent topics, they are necessary conversations to have that we can no longer afford to avoid.

*To watch The Effect with English subs: https://tv.line.me/embed/10372516

*To watch TharnType with English subs: https://tv.line.me/embed/10255603

If you are in crisis, call the toll-free National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1–800–273-TALK (8255), available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The service is available to anyone. All calls are confidential. http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Or The Trevor Lifeline at 1–866–488–7386 or via text by texting START to 678678

If you were the victim of sexual abuse/assault & are seeking support: 1in6.org

#the effect the series #tharntype

[multsicorn]

glee 1x20 rewatch meta

for the @todaydreambelievers rewatch.  Mostly Kurt/Finn, of course, but starting with a few smaller things.

1. Every time I see Quinn with the feathery pink fake eyelashes, I think of @spaceorphan18 ;).

2. "I don't wanna be friends/ I just want romance" are some of Santana's first sung lines in the show - (I think they might be her very first? but I'm not sure) - and the camera flashes to Brittany while she's singing, and I'm totally claiming them for excellent pre-Duets setup Brittana lines.  (Brittana do not have a romance, at this point, but, oh, Santana wants to!)

3. Everything about Tina's subplot in this episode is pure hilarious perfection.  And Tina's need to but difficulty with how to express herself comes back and back!  (LAUREN ZIZES LEADING A PACK OF GIRLS TO FAKE-VAMPIRE-ATTACK JACOB BEN ISRAEL IS 1000% AMAZING.)  Figgins' credulity, of course - but 'shy' Tina!  Sneaking into the school at night? - and flat-out bluffing tricking him.  I love.

4. This is probably obvioius enough without outright being stated?  But, moving into the Kurt/Finn stuff a bit… the KISS costumes involved glittery high-heeled platform shoes VERY MUCH LIKE the ones Kurt was wearing as Gaga.  And way more makeup than any of the girls were wearing!  And lots of spandex, jewelry, etc. - but KISS is "manly" cause, uh.  Cause "manly" and not "like a girl" ultimately means things that are labeled as such; any talk about heels or makeup or whatever is really a distraction, but not only are those "feminine" because society says they are, but general guidelines like that can get overridden by specifics - which further underlines just how arbitrary they are.

Or something.  I feel this is relevant to the Kurt/Finn stuff - e.g., how homophobia makes Finn feel that Kurt's crush on him threatens his ability to "be a man", and how that in turn leads to Finn exploding with a steaming pile of homophobia at Kurt, but… I can't make the connection any more specific than that.

5. KURT AND FINN.

It's funny, of course I didn't join Glee fandom till the end of season three, so this was always in the past for me - but still I always felt like it was a difficult thing to talk about.  (The whole Kurt/Finn crush arc, I mean, not just this resolution.)  Am I excusing Kurt unfairly, or am I victim blaming - a good thing about this final rewatch is that I get to write about the things I always thought about, *in* fandom, but somehow never quite got around to writing.  And also feared getting a response to - now that there's basically no response ;).

Anyway, I think it shouldn't be controversial to say that in the half-season-long story arc, no one was perfect, people made mistakes?  And Finn yelling at Kurt like he did was - obviously, completely, seriously, wrong.  That much is inarguable.  Burt does exactly the right thing to protect (insofar as he can) his son; Kurt… his crush on Finn died right there, I think.  He kinda forgives by the end of the episode - (cause Finn does what he can to apologize) - but I think there's a lingering hurt and distance in even Kurt's friendly feelings re: Finn up through the start of season two, till Finn proves that he's on Kurt's side against the homophobia of McKinley's jocks in actions, not just in words.

Anyway.  There's no excuse for Finn's words - or the way he exploded at Kurt, either, even if he hadn't used the f-word.  But I can also see, so clearly, how they came about.

Finn's not comfortable sharing a room with Kurt - that's what he starts off saying, we'll come back to the anger in there in a bit.  He's doing Kurt an injustice to say that he has to change in the bathroom.

(But… Kurt is bad at boundaries, not infrequently.  He introduced Burt and Carole in the first place so that he would have the opportunity to spend more time with Finn.  Just this episode, at the start, when Burt gives Finn some money to bribe him to be okay with moving in, Kurt swoops in and takes the money out of Finn's hand!  And, repeatedly, Kurt's been flirting with - more like at! - Finn, singing to him, playing with his shirt - although Finn's body language to us third-party viewers seems obviously to indicate discomfort.)

(But… so is every other person in McKinley's Glee club, bad at observing boundaries, or at least all but maybe a couple.  Remember Tina just the other week stealing Artie's dream out of the trash can!  I don't want to be hard on Kurt here.  All these kids sometimes go too hard after what they want.)

(And… there's a genuinely hard question involved, in the general case.  When you're trying to flirt with someone, when are you responsible for reading the discomfort in their face, voice, body language, etc., and drawing back - and when is it up to them to say something?  Cause I think there's no better answer than 'try the best you can,' but, y'know, when you're an otherwise desparately lonely teenager, the best you can may not be that great… and Kurt probably hoped that what Finn didn't like was being seen to be flirting with him, not the flirting itself.  And - god, now I'm having zimbits thoughts/feelings.  The point being, that could've been true.)

Anyway.  Coming back out of parens.  Here is my theory:

Finn wasn't able - due to McKinley's atmosphere of homophobia, both generalized and specific, e.g., how in this very episode, Karofsky and Azimio threaten him for 'being gay' - to take Kurt's crush on him seriously enough to explicitly reject Kurt the way he should have.  Or, um.  Unpacking that further.

He couldn't entertain as more than a joke, not seriously, not out loud, to other people, (even if 'other people' in fact only means Kurt), the mere possibilty that he could reciprocate Kurt's feelings.  That he could be attracted to Kurt, or to men - at all.  He not only has to be straight, his straightness has to be unquestionable….

And so he awkwardly alternately endures and avoids Kurt's flirtations - which are pretty mild, by the way (if we talk about just the things Kurt does with Finn, not the things he does with Burt, or Rachel with the fake makeover, in which case, geez, Kurt! but those aren't so relevant here).  But he's getting more uncomfortable as he and Kurt are moved closer together by events - even before the final explosion, he way overreacts to Kurt trying to help him remove his KISS makeup - yes, Kurt’s done a couple fake-casual flirty touches, but that one wasn’t, it was just helpful!... - and he feels like he can't say anything.

Because even saying "hey, I'm flattered, but I don't like you that way, and I'm just not going to" - would admit the possibility that he's not straight, even if only to then deny it.  Which isn't possible.  Cause if he's POSSIBLY not straight, he gets jumped on, etc., same as Kurt.

(obviously he doesn't.  Brains are fucked up, and he should have guts, I'm just saying… he fucked up, YES, and this is how/why)

So he explodes and he hurts Kurt A LOT, which is, well, one way to stop a crush!  Kills it dead in its tracks.  But he doesn't only kill the crush, but also the implicit trust Kurt placed in him, to NOT BE FUCKING THINKING IN THAT WAY, like…

And Finn values Kurt's friendship, too, even if there's no romantic angle to it for him.  So he damages that, and he loses something.

~

I wanted to say one more thing!  Something lighter, that doesn't fit in this argument structure.  You know how Kurt says that the basement is "a mix of the masculine and the feminine"?  And Finn says - in addition to the anger, the explosion, etc., discussed earlier, but simply in content - no, it's entirely feminine, it's not masculine at all?  Which of course ties back to the Gaga/KISS costumes issue, and the way that homophobia makes gayness or femininity 'pollute' straightness or masculinity - e.g., any mixture, or any doubt, is read as being the WRONG THING, and treated as such.

Whereas Kurt, who doesn't see either masculine or feminine decor as 'wrong,' is able to make a mix, and describe it as such…

ANYWAY, I tried to look up on youtube Marlene Dietrich and Gary Cooper in the movie that Kurt says he's inspired by, and I found Marlene Dietrich singing and wearing a suit.  (That movie was her introduction to the U.S.)  So, yes.  The masculine and the feminine and all the possibilities.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkXLRl3m18Q

Gary Cooper's character is very impressed.

#tdb rewatch #glee stuff #a: my meta #c: just a boy #c: magic in the making #c: silent no more #c: on fire #... man even with all the inactivity i'm still WHAT IF PEOPLE THINK I"M WRONG

[maboroshiwatch]

Episode 61 - Huge Shock for Usagi! Mamoru Declares a Break Up

Abbey

poor usagi, not gonna be able to touch a cute dude's butt

oh man it's the sweatsuit

Jess

IT'S SO HIDEOUS

HIS FASHION SENSE

IT'S THE WORST

Abbey

so hideous

but they're so cute

Jess

yes :)

Abbey

THEY'RE KISSING, CATMOM

let them kiss a little!

usagi deserves some kisses

Jess

aww, chibiusa...

Abbey

poor chibiusa

Jess

AGAIN REVERSING IT

Abbey

WEIRD

Jess

THAT SHE SAYS PAPA FIRST IS RELEVANT.

awww, mamoruuuu.

Abbey

such a good dad!

Jess

that he got down on her level for her

Abbey

AWWWWWW

Jess

and was so gentle

awwwww

awww the way he's holding her is sweet.

Abbey

so cute

usagi is PISSED

Jess

HAHAHA usagi. jealousy ain't cute.

HAHAHA CHIBIUSA

SUCH A FUCKSHIT

Abbey

no, he's your DAD

oh usagi

Jess

usagi!!

hahaha

i feel like

Abbey

USAGI!!!

Jess

for chibiusa

Abbey

because it's CUTE, chibi-usa

she must be so lonely, poor kid

Jess

this is, you know? appropriate. she's a little girl. that's little girl behaviour. 

yeah :(

this show is so full of lonely girls...

Abbey

and she has no one! just luna-p (is that her name?)

haha usagi hasn't introduced her boyfriend

whoops

Jess

the problem is that a lot of viewers mistake it as a mutual thing, when mamoru is always appropriate with her. :/ he just recognizes she's a little girl, and takes care of her like she's a little girl

Abbey

they both look SO WORRIED

Jess

AWWW YOU POOR FUCKIN KIDS

yeah luna-p. which is a ROBOT. so...

Abbey

yeah, it's not creepy! it's just very appropriate and caring

jerk-brother haha

Jess

she also has sailor pluto, which is mega sweet; you'll see later

yeah :)

haha

oh mannnnn

UH OH

Abbey

wonk

uh oh

poor chibiusa

Jess

chibiusa calles sailor pluto Pu-chan, like the element for plutonium. SO CUTE.

uh oh

Abbey

wonk

Jess

hypno-brella

Abbey

even catmom for a second there

dang catmom

dang

Jess

hahaha chibiusa's grin

TUNED HER FAMILY AGAINST HER

Abbey

what a brat haha

Jess

hahaha

Abbey

she's such a brat, similar to the ways usagi is a brat, haha

Jess

yay crystal tokyo~

hahaha it's true. usagi doesn't really see that tho

Abbey

i can see why they're butting heads though! they are so alike in a lot of ways

Jess

yeeeep

Abbey

GO AWAY, JERKS

GO FIX YR MAKEUP AND FUCK OFF

Jess

oh no mamoru :(

Abbey

STOP TRYING TO FUCK WITH USAGI AND HER LOVED ONES

oh no mamoru 

Jess

AND THE FIRST PERSON HE WORRIES ABOUT IS USAGI

ALSO

HE'S CALLING HER USAKO NOW

Abbey

awwwww

Jess

EEE

OMG THAT WAS SO CUTE

Abbey

i know! so cute

awww usagi.

Jess

awww :(

mamoru that is not how you solve this problem.

:(

Abbey

omg poor usagi is so confused

that is not a good solution

poor usagi

cuties you are not enough to take away the tears in my eyes

Jess

INAPPROPRIATELY TIMED CUTIES LOVE TIMING THEMSELVES INAPPROPRIATELY

Abbey

haha they really do

my reaction is more like "cuties. :("

Jess

poor usagi :(

Abbey

awww girls

Jess

minako, that is not really the kind of dude he is...

AMI.

AMI KNOWS WHAT'S UP

lol

EXAMS

Abbey

AMI

haha

awww ami! you so cute

Jess

awww, REI!!

OMG THIS IS SO CUTE

Abbey

geez i just want all these girls to be my girlfriends haha

awww this is v sweet

oh no

Jess

haha i understand

Abbey

usagi

Jess

oh, usagi :(

Abbey

omg usagi

you are breaking my heart

OH USAGI

Jess

oh god

Abbey

her face.

Jess

you can see how this is hurting him too, right?

Abbey

yeah, i can!

Jess

like omg don't make me say it again this sucks

Abbey

this is just breaking my heart for both of them

Jess

:(

*heavy sigh*

Abbey

and her face 

Jess

oh god. usagi's face...

usagi...

Abbey

OH! 

USAGI.

Jess

:'(

THE WAY HIS HEAD DARTS OVER WHEN HE HEARS HER CRY

Abbey

poor kids.

i know

Jess

you poor kids :(

Abbey

like everything about that

Jess

JUST TALK TO HER ABOUT IT

Abbey

was heartbreaking

Jess

SHE IS FUCKING SAILOR MOON

Abbey

i'm crying. 

Jess

SHE CAN FIX ANYTHING

oh god :(

Abbey

her love saved everyone

OMG

Jess

oh no… :'(

Abbey

USAGI

Jess

usagi… :(((

Abbey

THAT WAS HER FIRST THOUGHT

AND NOT ABOUT HERSELF

IT WAS "I'M SORRY MOM"

Jess

that's our usagi… :(

Abbey

YOU ARE DESTROYING ME

Jess

PLEASE SELL MY EVIL COSMETICS

Abbey

OH SHIT YOU DO NOT FUCK WITH THE SACREDNESS OF MAKEUP

I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP

IF THE GIRLS DON'T FIRST

Jess

BUT

HOW FUCKING AMAZING IS THIS, REGARDLESS

THIS SHOW

Abbey

YES

Jess

WEAPONIZED FEMININITY ON ALL SIDES

ughhhh usagiiiii

i just want to give her such a hugggg

Abbey

i wanna hug all of them

Jess

yes

but usagi the most right now :(

Abbey

yes, agreed

oh poor usagi

oh no

Jess

OH MY GOD

Abbey

oh usagi.

Jess

:(

Abbey

D:

usagi

that's right

USAGI I LOVE YOU

Jess

D:

Abbey

FUCK YEAH YOU TELL HER

GO CATMOM

CATMOM YOU SO BRAVE

SHE'S GONNA KICK YOUR ASS

SHE DON'T NEED YOUR MAKEUP. SHE'S GOT POWERFUL TRANSFORMING MAKEUP

Jess

lol

Abbey

you're telling her about your plan

GAH

Jess

PUT ON HEAVY MAKEUP

hahahaha

Abbey

oh no

OH NO

poor catmom!

Jess

omg catmom flattened

:((((((

Abbey

OMG

Jess

NO

DON'T COME HERE

Abbey

D:

NO

Jess

NOT WHEN YOU ARE BREAKING USAGI'S HEART

THAT ISN'T FAIR

Abbey

NOT FAIR

Jess

D:

Abbey

oh usagi, you are so strong <3

omg

haha

Jess

i'm making a face like i just smelled something REALLY BAD and it's making me sad

LOL OMG WHAT EVEN

OH MY GOD

WHAT

Abbey

drawing on her EYES

good work usagi

Jess

...:(

Abbey

you two

Jess

COLD.

Abbey

the way she's standing

and her hopeful face

and his hand

Jess

yes

Abbey

and just everything about this

SHE IS NOT WEAK

Jess

A WEAK GIRL IS THE LAST FUCKING THING THAT THAT GIRL IS

Abbey

and he couldn't even look at her

Jess

yeah :(

coudln't make himself say it to her face

oh god

usagi...

Abbey

omg usagi 

Jess

*heavy sigh*

Abbey

you are so strong. stronger than anyone realizes or gives you credit for

so strong and selfless and BRAVE

Jess

haven't these two been through enough already? it just isn't fair.

Abbey

NOT FAIR

JUST LET THEM BE HAPPY

otome no policy isn't enough to make me happy right now

i'm gonna need ice cream

Jess

understood. :(

Abbey

also i am going to have to fix my makeup. :(

Jess

you are going to have one hell of a time with the last season, honey...

Abbey

awwww 

Jess

oh no ami… :(

Abbey

ami :( :(

Jess

AMI EPISODE THO. MEANS I GET A LOT OF MAKO. (have you noticed how they are usually shown on screen together in group shots even, yet? like when all of the girls are together, ami and mako are usually shown next to each other)

:D

abbey needs to fuck up the black moon clan because they messed up her eyeliner

hehe

Abbey

yeah exactly

AND my mascara

[newsbiteswithjennysok]

June 27, 2019

1. Chaka Khan was “pissed” when she heard Kanye West‘s 2004 song “Through the Wire.” Grammy-winning Khan said she gave West, 42, the rights to sample her 1984 song “Through the Fire,” but felt duped because their conversations went “very differently than the song turned out.” Khan, 66, said on “Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen” that the rapper tugged at her heartstrings with a story about how her music helped him recover from a serious car accident in 2002. Khan added that if she knew West had planned to speed up her vocals, she would’ve said “hell no” to him using the track — despite her making money off the sample. The “I’m Every Woman” singer said she never spoke to the rapper about her disapproval, but rather “gave him silence.”

2. The first official trailer for the new Charlie's Angels movie was released on Thursday morning and it's packed with action scenes. The clip begins with the film's biggest star, Kristen Stewart, on the job in a pink sequined dress and a big blonde wig. The film - which is written and produced by Elizabeth Banks - will be released on November 15, 2019 in the US. According to the press release for the trailer, 'Banks directs the next generation of Angels – Stewart, Naomi Scott, and Ella Balinska – working for the mysterious Charles Townsend. 

3. Multiple threads have gone viral comparing Lizzo's popular Boy lyrics to adorable pictures of both dogs and lizards — and the trend even has the singer's stamp of approval. The new trend was first made popular by Twitter user Zach Price, who decided to take the second verse of Lizzo's song Boys and compare each line to that of lizards. In the song, the 31-year-old singer addressed the types of boys in her life that she was interested in and basically stated she wouldn't discriminate against any type of man. Lizzo's lyrics read: 'I like big boys, itty bitty boys / Mississippi boys, inner city boys / I like the pretty boys with the bow tie / Get your nails did, let it blow dry / I like a big beard, I like a clean face / I don't discriminate, come and get a taste / From the playboys to the gay boys / Go and slay, boys, you my fave boys.' These lyrics sparked the new meme trend, with Twitter user Zach Price first comparing each word to a lizard. His Twitter thread, which has been shared more than 28,000 times, featured a wide selection of lizards in different poses and locations to fit the lyrics. For 'itty bitty boys', Zach shared a picture of a tiny lizard, while later sharing a picture of a lizard against a Pride Flag backdrop for 'the gay boys' moment in the song. He even tossed in a picture of Geico's animated gecko to illustrate Lizzo's lyric for 'a clean face' man.  The new meme caught the attention of Lizzo, who implored her followers to read the hilarious and clever take on her lyrics. 

4. Corey Bohan doesn’t think Spencer Pratt‘s jokes about his daughter are funny. The 37-year-old Australian actor called out Pratt, 35, on his private Instagram for comments “The Hills: New Beginnings” star made about Kirra Max, his 3-year-old with Audrina Patridge, E! News reports. “You can say whatever filth you want about YOUR family, cast-mates or even myself but I draw the line when it comes to MY daughter,” Bohan reportedly captioned a photo of his middle finger. “Kirra is an innocent three year old child.” He added that Pratt’s remarks were “vile and disgusting,” and that the reality star shouldn’t use Bohan’s family to keep his “name in headlines.”

5. Their wedding is just two days away but their costars are already pouring into Kentucky. Jax Taylor, 39, and Brittany Cartwright, 30, are keeping busy entertaining family and friends ahead of their June nuptials. Their cast mates started flying in to Kentucky from LA and shared Instagram stories of their journey. 

6. TLC just released the first preview trailer for 90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days Season 3, which includes 47-year-old Rebecca from Canton, Georgia and her hunky 26-year-old Tunisian beau Zied. Their scene in the trailer features Zied getting very angry with Rebecca after she reveals to him that she is still married. The couple’s official bio: “Rebecca has three kids and three failed marriages, including one to a Moroccan man she brought to America on a spouse visa, but she’s ready to try again.”

7. 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After couple Ashley and Jay continue to make a mockery of their show’s title as their dysfunctional  show of a marriage continues to implode.In the latest development, Ashley has officially been charged with Simple Assault and Criminal Mischief (intentionally damaging real or personal property of another) for an incident on May 31. The Simple Assault charge is a misdemeanor, and the Criminal Mischief charge is listed a a summary offense, which is a step below misdemeanor. During a one-hour-plus live session, both Ashley and Jay state that Ashley came over to his apartment while drunk. “Yes, I threw a f***ing fire extinguisher through his window,” Ashley admits.

8. Colt Johnson and Larissa Dos Santos Lima had an epically dysfunctional seven-month marriage.  Colt filed for divorce after Larissa’s third arrest for domestic battery.  She quickly debuted a new man, Eric Nichols, in February well before they finalized their divorce on April 1st.  Meanwhile, Colt filled his Instagram pages with inspirational quotes and pictures of his cats.  Until now.Earlier this week, Colt shared a photo with a mystery red-head.  They are sitting in his car and holding hands.  Presumably, Colt’s mom Debbie Johnson took the photo from the back seat. In Touch Weekly reported on the flirty photo and some of her social media posts. According to the Facebook group 90 Day Fiance: Uncensored, a woman named Jess came forward as Colt’s girlfriend and justified the relationship.  She wrote, “we are together for a while and only now the news are out there.  [Those] who know me [know] that I’m chill and have good intentions.  Wanna kiss girls? Do it.  I’m with him because I want and because he wants.” Larissa posted some encouraging words for the new couple on reality TV blogger John Yate’s Instagram page.  She wrote, “wishing happiness for them.”

9. Here’s The Video For Cazwell’s “I Love You,” Featuring Ricky Roman - https://youtu.be/gCNhOIi1uz0

10. Just three days ago, gay porn star Collin Simpson revealed on Twitter that he’d be retiring from his work as a GayHoopla performer due to a drug addiction, admitting, “I have been struggling with addiction for the last few months…I’m currently in the process of getting help, but it’s too little too late.” Tonight, Collin Simpson took to Twitter again to tell fans that he’d be doing a live webcam show on Chaturbate, but that show was abruptly shut down after approximately 90 minutes, when live show viewers say that Simpson was “getting so high on crystal…he looked like he was going to die.” One viewer sent in screencaps of Simpson during the broadcast—right after he allegedly “snorted crystal meth”—in which he appears extremely disoriented and not well. The first 50 minutes of the live show are what you would normally see in a live show, with Simpson chatting with fans, smiling, showing off his body, and masturbating. He appears relatively congenial (as seen above) and in good spirits. But, after the 58-minute mark, things change dramatically. After returning from the bathroom, Simpson goes off camera into an area of the room behind his camera and computer. You can then hear Simpson rummaging through unknown items, the sound of a lighter flicking multiple times, and the sound of something being inhaled and exhaled several times. This repeats at least three times (the lighter flicking, and then the inhaling/exhaling), then Simpson walks back in front of the camera and sits down for about a minute. His face is only visible for a few seconds, but he appears sluggish and not well.Then, Simpson goes off camera again, and we again hear the lighter flicking and inhaling, as well as a loud, metallic tapping sound. Simpson then returns to his seat on camera for a final time—for the last six minutes of the live stream—and he is completely incoherent, speaking nonsensically, arms waving in the air, and looking as if he’s about to pass out. Simpson—whose eyes are now closed the entire time—is also seen scratching his chest, abdomen, face, and arms repeatedly. Before the stream cuts off, Simpson places his hands in front of his face and lowers his head. Unlike some of the initial reactions and comments from viewers, Str8UpGayPorn doesn’t believe that Simpson did methamphetamine during the live stream, as his behavior didn’t resemble that of someone on meth. Based on the sounds that were heard and his appearance and behavior immediately after those sounds, it is clear that he ingested something and was dangerously intoxicated, however.Simpson’s Chaturbate account was banned right after the stream cut off, likely after viewers reported what they were seeing.

[adambstingus]

The ‘Nightmare On Elm Street’ Series Is Deeper Than You Know

In a genre dominated by Jason Vorhees and his quest to rid the world of topless camp counselors, the Nightmare On Elm Street franchise was a breath of fresh air. Not only was it a little more supernatural than the wave of Michael Myers clones, but it had a neat gimmick: the killer, Freddy Krueger, could only kill you if you were asleep. That sounds old hat now, but in 1984, just the idea of something other than forest axe murders on screen was cause for intense celebration.

But little did viewers realize that, beneath the puns and fantastical dream stabbings, there was an allegory about what it’s like to grow up. Tired, horny teenagers might have been getting murdered by a burn victim with a butcher shop for a hand, but in the grander scheme of things, they were just playing out their roles in a larger tale that starts with puberty and ends at death.

9

A Nightmare On Elm Street: Puberty

Childhood was great. You loved every peace-ridden, blissful moment of that Popsicle-sucking summertime innocence. But hold on to your blossoming privates, because puberty is here to literally tongue kiss you through a phone. That scene is probably the most explicit that the metaphor gets, as the protagonist Nancy reacts exactly how everyone still trying to understand puberty reacts when they first hear about tongue kissing: EW, TONGUE. EW, BOYFRIEND? EW, YOU CAN DO THAT? EW, FREDDY KRUEGER. That last one might just be her, but Freddy Krueger is nothing if not the slasher genre’s answer to that weird older dude who keeps telling you how “mature you are for your age” while trying to palm your thigh.

The movie is full of this. Tina, Nancy’s best friend and the movie’s obligatory “You ain’t cool unless you’re MAKING OUT!” character, wakes up with a tattered night gown after dreaming about Freddy Krueger chasing her. Soon, all of the teens realize they’ve all been dreaming about Freddy Krueger, our little puberty Sandman. And as with puberty, no one is initially equipped to deal with him in the slightest.

As the movie progresses, the looming presence of sex starts to dominate how Freddy menaces the teens. While Nancy is sleeping, we see Freddy appear over her bed, the wall resembling a rubbery condom that a nasty little demon head is trying to poke through.

The viewer is even present for a scene representative of Nancy’s first period. As Nancy lays in the bathtub asleep, Freddy’s clawed glove breaks through the surface of the water between her open legs. This isn’t just one of the most intense scenes in horror history. It’s clear foreshadowing of all the trouble that’s about to happen between your legs. From periods to wet dreams, they’re the first milestones that will take the allegorical teenager down a snowballing Domino Rally of confusion and destruction that’ll last anywhere from 10-70 years.

8

A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge: Sexuality

As Cracked and even the film’s director pointed out, there is a ton of homoerotic subtext in A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge. Nancy, from the first film, is gone and in her place is Jesse, a teen stuck in the throes of self-doubt about his sexuality.

Jesse has something inside of him that prevents him from doing the condom-collide with his strikingly hot girlfriend, Lisa. Right off the bat, Jesse gets whacked in the head with a baseball bat while watching a guy shake his ass. Seconds later, he and his new friend Grady are trying to tear each other’s clothes off. And the gym coach who seems to be paid a salary to watch boys’ hips during push-ups? He is stripped naked in a locker room shower before he’s murdered, which must have been quite odd for the people who were used to Freddy just pulling teens through beds and turning them into blood geysers.

New Line Cinema “This is, ummm, different.”

We start seeing Jesse’s nightmares where Freddy tells him that he needs his body. With a touch of the glove, Freddy is officially inside of Jesse and that closet door opens right up. Jesse’s parents have numerous conversation about how there’s something wrong with him, and they’re all too eager to leave him alone in his bedroom with his girlfriend. Note to parents who think their kids might be gay: Not a great thing to do. Be a little more chill about it, dudes.

After a full movie of conflicting feelings, Jesse takes the plunge and tries hooking up with his girlfriend in the cabana during her pool party. But the “thing inside him” comes out and he can’t go through with it. He runs away to Grady’s house, who is topless in bed and accuses Jesse of wanting to sleep with him. Jesse can’t get past the confusion. The only thing left to do is for the movie to break its own rules by allowing Freddy to come into the real world in a burst of fire. A lot of people have tried to explain how this fits in with the series’ internal logic, but the best reason for it still remains “It was 1985, man.”

The film ends with Jesse finding himself on the back of Freddy’s dream bus, being taken on a ride to his inescapable destiny. It’s a pleasant note to end on as the series transitions away from dealing with sexuality and moves onto self-discovery. And by “self-discovery,” we mean lots and lots of drugs.

7

A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors: Self-Discovery (aka DRUGS)

The teens in Dream Warriors aren’t the hapless, “I love THE MALL” suburban kids from the first two films. No, this new batch lives in an asylum, which means that they are trapped with their own neuroses, struggling to obtain some kind of self-discovery. And like with some teens, the urge to find out “who you are” on a level deeper than “Well, I like pizza more than hot dogs,” means experimentation and some remarkably questionable risk taking.

Kristen and her fellow inmate friends are seeing Freddy in their dreams. But no one in the hospital believes them, until, like an ethereal goddess, Nancy, our hero from the first Nightmare, emerges. She not only identifies with the teens, she is an interning counselor who wants to help the kids murder Freddy when she realizes he’s back. And while the movie makes it seem like she’s pretty solid, the overall well-being of the asylum’s residents doesn’t necessarily benefit from her presence.

In a world of drug addicts and delusion, Nancy is a drug dealer. She feeds into these teenagers’ fears and continuously draws them back into the dream world, where Freddy is waiting to off them in an endless array of ironic ways. Addicted to TV? “Welcome to prime time, bitch.” Hooked on Dungeons & Dragons? Freddy literally tries run you over with a magic wheelchair. And whereas Nancy in the first movie was symbolic of puberty and hormonal awakening, here she is murdered by Freddy, swiftly and with hardly a moment of recognition. Don’t do drugs, kids.

6

A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master: College

It’s easy to end high school full of confidence, and then start college suddenly realizing that everything you formerly loved is lame and now your entire personality is up for grabs. When college begins, we often transform into a sponge, this mass Katamari conglomerate consisting of cheap beer, hacky sacks, and the thoughts and opinions of everybody around you.

As characters are killed off one by one, the protagonist Alice manages to absorb some kind of personality trait or physical ability from each of them, such as Kristen’s ability to pull people into dreams, Rick’s mean karate skills, and Sheila’s ability to rock a killer sweatband. That is a huge part of college: finding yourself … your style, personality, friends. Most of who you will become as an adult is built around college experimentation, allowing yourself to try on new personalities like hats until you find the one that makes you … well, you.

College is also a time of increased and liberated sexuality for many people. When Sheila succumbs to Freddy in her nightmare, she dies when he sucks face with her, which really pushes the “You should date around!” advice that most young people get. But sexy Freddy doesn’t stop there. From climbing into bed with Alice to whispering “I believe in you” in Debbie’s ears while she’s jerking off some free weights, liberated pleasure rolls off Freddy’s face right up until the final battle where Alice is kicking his ass and he seems pretty excited about it. But don’t stand too close to Freddy when he’s that excited. You just might roll over in his wet dream and find yourself stuck with a baby.

5

A Nightmare On Elm Street 5: The Dream Child: Parenthood

In a rare move for slasher sequels, The Dream Child finds us still hanging with Alice. But while she didn’t get slaughtered, she did get pregnant. And Alice isn’t the only one in this movie with baby fever. We learn the story of Amanda Krueger, a nun who worked in an asylum and was raped by “a hundred maniacs.” She became pregnant and because this series is dead set on removing joy at any cost, Fred Krueger was born.

As you’d expect, Alice’s pregnancy is not one of hope, but one of angst and impending doom. We’re barely into our twenties at this point in the life cycle. For the first time since puberty, your Freddy dreams are unreliable, since a common pregnancy symptom is, in fact, weird dreams. Alice’s baby-daddy, Dan, is seen hanging out with his friends, just drinking and having a great time, when Alice calls to tell him that Freddy’s come back, which is only a little more sobering than “Could you pick up something from the grocery store?” With that, we’re sent into a downward spiral of adult responsibilities. Kiss your friends goodbye — it’s just you and your pregnant girlfriend forever. Just not for Dan, because Freddy kills him. And then possesses his body. And then asks Alice “Wanna make babies?”

Freddy also becomes a talking bike. Nothing to do with parenthood, but important, nonetheless.

Freddy’s baby obsession reaches its peak when he kills a girl named Greta by stuffing her with food while she’s seated in a highchair. He then drapes her over his shoulder and burps her TO DEATH.

Alice physically forces Freddy out of her and Freddy is torn apart by his infinity-trillion crazy daddies, and his evil spirit goes inside the ghost of his mommy, Amanda. In a final act of baby defiance, Freddy gives his mom an automatic C-section by tearing his glove through her stomach. Childbirth. Truly a miracle.

4

Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare: Adulthood

College is over. You’re leaving your twenties. You’ve had some kids. You dabbled in strange careers that you thought would stick and define you, but by god, Robert’s Anime And Taco Shop closed in three weeks. The Final Nightmare represents all of your choices falling apart. It opens with an airplane crumbling mid-flight while Freddy flies by on a broomstick shouting, “I’ll get you my pretty, and your little soul too!,” which is about as life fall-ey apart-ey as it can get.

By now, Freddy is a caricature of himself, as seen when the trademark ’90s teen stoner falls asleep and dreams he’s in a video game. There he’s controlled and killed by Freddy who is using a Nintendo Power Glove. This movie is a nostalgic 30-year-old trying to prove to 15-year-olds that, yeah, he’s still hip. He knows the video games. “Nintendo” is the name of that little plumber, right?

The female lead, Maggie, is Freddy’s long-lost daughter. And she hates him, probably as she should. In time, your kids will resent you, too. Your life’s a mess and you’re driving in circles, just like in the character Carlos’ dream about the never-ending nightmare map. There’s seemingly no escape.

3

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare: Middle Age

New Nightmare isn’t necessarily a sequel to the the previous Nightmare films. Instead, it exists in a world where the other films are, well, films, and Freddy is a pop-culture icon. The years have rolled by and Freddy movie after Freddy movie has come out, throwing us headlong into a world where it feels like you’re stuck doing the same thing over and over again.

The actress that played Nancy (Heather Langenkamp) plays herself, and she’s pretty sick of the Freddy character, too. She gets even sicker of him when she finds out that Freddy has leaked out into the “real world” and is now an actual detriment to the life of her and her son. You do your job for years, it provides for you, and it’s seemingly only beneficial. And then you arrive at middle age and realize that it’s made you a nervous wreck of a person. Also, it’s unleashed a burn-faced dream goblin that’s out to off your child. The 401k is pretty handy, though.

At the last second, Heather ends up finally slaying Krueger and returning him to his fictitious world. She refuses to let a piece-of-shit job/dream goblin define her and overtake her life and ruin her relationship with her son. Unlike the earlier films which ended with the theme of “Freddy’s still around, life is hopeless, and enjoy the suck!,” New Nightmare ends with the message that even when you’re deep in the butthole of adulthood, you can still swim out of the shit.

2

Freddy Vs. Jason: Late Middle Age And Your High School Reunion

You’re invited to the party of near-elderly irrelevance by Freddy himself with an opening monologue that puts others to shame, giving us a history of his murder sprees and complaining that he can’t come back if no one remembers him. Being forgotten blows, so let’s all get together for old time’s sake.

The protagonist, Lori, is the first one smart enough to remember Freddy’s name. At first, Freddy tries to use Jason’s lumbering death corpse to give him power to come back, but when Jason starts stealing Freddy’s targets, it gets him real pissed. Jason wasn’t supposed to be the guy that could still break dance at the reunion! Freddy was supposed to bust a move.

New Line Cinema If this movie had been made a decade earlier, they ABSOLUTELY would’ve had a dance-off at this moment.

But the proof that this movie knows you’re old and lame is in its need to spell everything out for you. Like the scene at the table where they’re talking about how Freddy brought Jason back, how Freddy is afraid of fire and Jason fears water, so how can we use that? They might as well have been shouting into your hearing aid. “Back in my day, the Nightmare films were ‘The Dream Something‘ and Reagan was Jesus!”

The final battle really feels like closure on our pasts, even if we can all see it for what it really is: two old men fighting. It makes you remember how you got here. You feel at peace.

1

A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010 Remake): Old Age And Death

At long last, you’ve made it to the end. And this remake is the tumbling demise of someone nearing the end of existence. You’re about to die, but you’re just grasping onto that final financial breath. Some kind of strange attempt to prove to everyone that you can be something more or something different. But by now, you don’t need reinventing or fixing. You need to look back at your life and celebrate the best parts. Like all those glorious practical effects that have been buried here to make room for shitty CGI.

In typical “gritty reboot” fashion, Freddy’s “realistic” burn makeup is so thick that it renders him expressionless. Yet, he sure is a chatty dream murderer this time around. Reboot Freddy just talks too damn much. Like he didn’t expect anyone to actually come over, and he’s taking advantage of the company. He’s trying to get it all out before he can’t do it anymore.

The adults are too nice, and the teens in this movie are all bored drug addicts, which is the general world view of anyone who’s retired to watch a constant stream of TV Land and Fox News. In the final battle, when Nancy screams to Freddy, “You’re in my world now, bitch,” we realize that we’re probably already dead. And in Hell. Because never has there been a more flat and apathetic delivery in a Nightmare On Elm Street movie.

With that line, the series dies, and we’re ready to leave it and its allegory for life behind. We’ve been through nine movies that have guided us from puberty through death, and we’ve killed a lot of teenagers in between. Thanks, Freddy, for showing us the way.

You can find Loryn haunting Twitter.

The proliferation of beer pong and craft beer may have you think that we’re living in one of the peak times to get drunk, but humans have been getting famously hammered for millennia. Like a frat house’s lawn after a kegger, history is littered with world changing events that were secretly powered by booze. The inaugural games of the Roman Coliseum, the drafting of the US Constitution and the Russian Revolution were all capped off by major parties that most attendees probably regretted in the morning.

Join Jack O’Brien and Cracked staffers Carmen Angelica, Alex Schmidt, Michael Swaim, plus comedian Blake Wexler for a retelling of history’s biggest moments you didn’t realize everyone was drunk for.

Get your tickets here:

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/the-nightmare-on-elm-street-series-is-deeper-than-you-know/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/179366889377

[allofbeercom]

The ‘Nightmare On Elm Street’ Series Is Deeper Than You Know

In a genre dominated by Jason Vorhees and his quest to rid the world of topless camp counselors, the Nightmare On Elm Street franchise was a breath of fresh air. Not only was it a little more supernatural than the wave of Michael Myers clones, but it had a neat gimmick: the killer, Freddy Krueger, could only kill you if you were asleep. That sounds old hat now, but in 1984, just the idea of something other than forest axe murders on screen was cause for intense celebration.

But little did viewers realize that, beneath the puns and fantastical dream stabbings, there was an allegory about what it’s like to grow up. Tired, horny teenagers might have been getting murdered by a burn victim with a butcher shop for a hand, but in the grander scheme of things, they were just playing out their roles in a larger tale that starts with puberty and ends at death.

9

A Nightmare On Elm Street: Puberty

Childhood was great. You loved every peace-ridden, blissful moment of that Popsicle-sucking summertime innocence. But hold on to your blossoming privates, because puberty is here to literally tongue kiss you through a phone. That scene is probably the most explicit that the metaphor gets, as the protagonist Nancy reacts exactly how everyone still trying to understand puberty reacts when they first hear about tongue kissing: EW, TONGUE. EW, BOYFRIEND? EW, YOU CAN DO THAT? EW, FREDDY KRUEGER. That last one might just be her, but Freddy Krueger is nothing if not the slasher genre’s answer to that weird older dude who keeps telling you how “mature you are for your age” while trying to palm your thigh.

The movie is full of this. Tina, Nancy’s best friend and the movie’s obligatory “You ain’t cool unless you’re MAKING OUT!” character, wakes up with a tattered night gown after dreaming about Freddy Krueger chasing her. Soon, all of the teens realize they’ve all been dreaming about Freddy Krueger, our little puberty Sandman. And as with puberty, no one is initially equipped to deal with him in the slightest.

As the movie progresses, the looming presence of sex starts to dominate how Freddy menaces the teens. While Nancy is sleeping, we see Freddy appear over her bed, the wall resembling a rubbery condom that a nasty little demon head is trying to poke through.

The viewer is even present for a scene representative of Nancy’s first period. As Nancy lays in the bathtub asleep, Freddy’s clawed glove breaks through the surface of the water between her open legs. This isn’t just one of the most intense scenes in horror history. It’s clear foreshadowing of all the trouble that’s about to happen between your legs. From periods to wet dreams, they’re the first milestones that will take the allegorical teenager down a snowballing Domino Rally of confusion and destruction that’ll last anywhere from 10-70 years.

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A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge: Sexuality

As Cracked and even the film’s director pointed out, there is a ton of homoerotic subtext in A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge. Nancy, from the first film, is gone and in her place is Jesse, a teen stuck in the throes of self-doubt about his sexuality.

Jesse has something inside of him that prevents him from doing the condom-collide with his strikingly hot girlfriend, Lisa. Right off the bat, Jesse gets whacked in the head with a baseball bat while watching a guy shake his ass. Seconds later, he and his new friend Grady are trying to tear each other’s clothes off. And the gym coach who seems to be paid a salary to watch boys’ hips during push-ups? He is stripped naked in a locker room shower before he’s murdered, which must have been quite odd for the people who were used to Freddy just pulling teens through beds and turning them into blood geysers.

New Line Cinema “This is, ummm, different.”

We start seeing Jesse’s nightmares where Freddy tells him that he needs his body. With a touch of the glove, Freddy is officially inside of Jesse and that closet door opens right up. Jesse’s parents have numerous conversation about how there’s something wrong with him, and they’re all too eager to leave him alone in his bedroom with his girlfriend. Note to parents who think their kids might be gay: Not a great thing to do. Be a little more chill about it, dudes.

After a full movie of conflicting feelings, Jesse takes the plunge and tries hooking up with his girlfriend in the cabana during her pool party. But the “thing inside him” comes out and he can’t go through with it. He runs away to Grady’s house, who is topless in bed and accuses Jesse of wanting to sleep with him. Jesse can’t get past the confusion. The only thing left to do is for the movie to break its own rules by allowing Freddy to come into the real world in a burst of fire. A lot of people have tried to explain how this fits in with the series’ internal logic, but the best reason for it still remains “It was 1985, man.”

The film ends with Jesse finding himself on the back of Freddy’s dream bus, being taken on a ride to his inescapable destiny. It’s a pleasant note to end on as the series transitions away from dealing with sexuality and moves onto self-discovery. And by “self-discovery,” we mean lots and lots of drugs.

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A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors: Self-Discovery (aka DRUGS)

The teens in Dream Warriors aren’t the hapless, “I love THE MALL” suburban kids from the first two films. No, this new batch lives in an asylum, which means that they are trapped with their own neuroses, struggling to obtain some kind of self-discovery. And like with some teens, the urge to find out “who you are” on a level deeper than “Well, I like pizza more than hot dogs,” means experimentation and some remarkably questionable risk taking.

Kristen and her fellow inmate friends are seeing Freddy in their dreams. But no one in the hospital believes them, until, like an ethereal goddess, Nancy, our hero from the first Nightmare, emerges. She not only identifies with the teens, she is an interning counselor who wants to help the kids murder Freddy when she realizes he’s back. And while the movie makes it seem like she’s pretty solid, the overall well-being of the asylum’s residents doesn’t necessarily benefit from her presence.

In a world of drug addicts and delusion, Nancy is a drug dealer. She feeds into these teenagers’ fears and continuously draws them back into the dream world, where Freddy is waiting to off them in an endless array of ironic ways. Addicted to TV? “Welcome to prime time, bitch.” Hooked on Dungeons & Dragons? Freddy literally tries run you over with a magic wheelchair. And whereas Nancy in the first movie was symbolic of puberty and hormonal awakening, here she is murdered by Freddy, swiftly and with hardly a moment of recognition. Don’t do drugs, kids.

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A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master: College

It’s easy to end high school full of confidence, and then start college suddenly realizing that everything you formerly loved is lame and now your entire personality is up for grabs. When college begins, we often transform into a sponge, this mass Katamari conglomerate consisting of cheap beer, hacky sacks, and the thoughts and opinions of everybody around you.

As characters are killed off one by one, the protagonist Alice manages to absorb some kind of personality trait or physical ability from each of them, such as Kristen’s ability to pull people into dreams, Rick’s mean karate skills, and Sheila’s ability to rock a killer sweatband. That is a huge part of college: finding yourself … your style, personality, friends. Most of who you will become as an adult is built around college experimentation, allowing yourself to try on new personalities like hats until you find the one that makes you … well, you.

College is also a time of increased and liberated sexuality for many people. When Sheila succumbs to Freddy in her nightmare, she dies when he sucks face with her, which really pushes the “You should date around!” advice that most young people get. But sexy Freddy doesn’t stop there. From climbing into bed with Alice to whispering “I believe in you” in Debbie’s ears while she’s jerking off some free weights, liberated pleasure rolls off Freddy’s face right up until the final battle where Alice is kicking his ass and he seems pretty excited about it. But don’t stand too close to Freddy when he’s that excited. You just might roll over in his wet dream and find yourself stuck with a baby.

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A Nightmare On Elm Street 5: The Dream Child: Parenthood

In a rare move for slasher sequels, The Dream Child finds us still hanging with Alice. But while she didn’t get slaughtered, she did get pregnant. And Alice isn’t the only one in this movie with baby fever. We learn the story of Amanda Krueger, a nun who worked in an asylum and was raped by “a hundred maniacs.” She became pregnant and because this series is dead set on removing joy at any cost, Fred Krueger was born.

As you’d expect, Alice’s pregnancy is not one of hope, but one of angst and impending doom. We’re barely into our twenties at this point in the life cycle. For the first time since puberty, your Freddy dreams are unreliable, since a common pregnancy symptom is, in fact, weird dreams. Alice’s baby-daddy, Dan, is seen hanging out with his friends, just drinking and having a great time, when Alice calls to tell him that Freddy’s come back, which is only a little more sobering than “Could you pick up something from the grocery store?” With that, we’re sent into a downward spiral of adult responsibilities. Kiss your friends goodbye — it’s just you and your pregnant girlfriend forever. Just not for Dan, because Freddy kills him. And then possesses his body. And then asks Alice “Wanna make babies?”

Freddy also becomes a talking bike. Nothing to do with parenthood, but important, nonetheless.

Freddy’s baby obsession reaches its peak when he kills a girl named Greta by stuffing her with food while she’s seated in a highchair. He then drapes her over his shoulder and burps her TO DEATH.

Alice physically forces Freddy out of her and Freddy is torn apart by his infinity-trillion crazy daddies, and his evil spirit goes inside the ghost of his mommy, Amanda. In a final act of baby defiance, Freddy gives his mom an automatic C-section by tearing his glove through her stomach. Childbirth. Truly a miracle.

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Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare: Adulthood

College is over. You’re leaving your twenties. You’ve had some kids. You dabbled in strange careers that you thought would stick and define you, but by god, Robert’s Anime And Taco Shop closed in three weeks. The Final Nightmare represents all of your choices falling apart. It opens with an airplane crumbling mid-flight while Freddy flies by on a broomstick shouting, “I’ll get you my pretty, and your little soul too!,” which is about as life fall-ey apart-ey as it can get.

By now, Freddy is a caricature of himself, as seen when the trademark ’90s teen stoner falls asleep and dreams he’s in a video game. There he’s controlled and killed by Freddy who is using a Nintendo Power Glove. This movie is a nostalgic 30-year-old trying to prove to 15-year-olds that, yeah, he’s still hip. He knows the video games. “Nintendo” is the name of that little plumber, right?

The female lead, Maggie, is Freddy’s long-lost daughter. And she hates him, probably as she should. In time, your kids will resent you, too. Your life’s a mess and you’re driving in circles, just like in the character Carlos’ dream about the never-ending nightmare map. There’s seemingly no escape.

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Wes Craven’s New Nightmare: Middle Age

New Nightmare isn’t necessarily a sequel to the the previous Nightmare films. Instead, it exists in a world where the other films are, well, films, and Freddy is a pop-culture icon. The years have rolled by and Freddy movie after Freddy movie has come out, throwing us headlong into a world where it feels like you’re stuck doing the same thing over and over again.

The actress that played Nancy (Heather Langenkamp) plays herself, and she’s pretty sick of the Freddy character, too. She gets even sicker of him when she finds out that Freddy has leaked out into the “real world” and is now an actual detriment to the life of her and her son. You do your job for years, it provides for you, and it’s seemingly only beneficial. And then you arrive at middle age and realize that it’s made you a nervous wreck of a person. Also, it’s unleashed a burn-faced dream goblin that’s out to off your child. The 401k is pretty handy, though.

At the last second, Heather ends up finally slaying Krueger and returning him to his fictitious world. She refuses to let a piece-of-shit job/dream goblin define her and overtake her life and ruin her relationship with her son. Unlike the earlier films which ended with the theme of “Freddy’s still around, life is hopeless, and enjoy the suck!,” New Nightmare ends with the message that even when you’re deep in the butthole of adulthood, you can still swim out of the shit.

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Freddy Vs. Jason: Late Middle Age And Your High School Reunion

You’re invited to the party of near-elderly irrelevance by Freddy himself with an opening monologue that puts others to shame, giving us a history of his murder sprees and complaining that he can’t come back if no one remembers him. Being forgotten blows, so let’s all get together for old time’s sake.

The protagonist, Lori, is the first one smart enough to remember Freddy’s name. At first, Freddy tries to use Jason’s lumbering death corpse to give him power to come back, but when Jason starts stealing Freddy’s targets, it gets him real pissed. Jason wasn’t supposed to be the guy that could still break dance at the reunion! Freddy was supposed to bust a move.

New Line Cinema If this movie had been made a decade earlier, they ABSOLUTELY would’ve had a dance-off at this moment.

But the proof that this movie knows you’re old and lame is in its need to spell everything out for you. Like the scene at the table where they’re talking about how Freddy brought Jason back, how Freddy is afraid of fire and Jason fears water, so how can we use that? They might as well have been shouting into your hearing aid. “Back in my day, the Nightmare films were ‘The Dream Something‘ and Reagan was Jesus!”

The final battle really feels like closure on our pasts, even if we can all see it for what it really is: two old men fighting. It makes you remember how you got here. You feel at peace.

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A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010 Remake): Old Age And Death

At long last, you’ve made it to the end. And this remake is the tumbling demise of someone nearing the end of existence. You’re about to die, but you’re just grasping onto that final financial breath. Some kind of strange attempt to prove to everyone that you can be something more or something different. But by now, you don’t need reinventing or fixing. You need to look back at your life and celebrate the best parts. Like all those glorious practical effects that have been buried here to make room for shitty CGI.

In typical “gritty reboot” fashion, Freddy’s “realistic” burn makeup is so thick that it renders him expressionless. Yet, he sure is a chatty dream murderer this time around. Reboot Freddy just talks too damn much. Like he didn’t expect anyone to actually come over, and he’s taking advantage of the company. He’s trying to get it all out before he can’t do it anymore.

The adults are too nice, and the teens in this movie are all bored drug addicts, which is the general world view of anyone who’s retired to watch a constant stream of TV Land and Fox News. In the final battle, when Nancy screams to Freddy, “You’re in my world now, bitch,” we realize that we’re probably already dead. And in Hell. Because never has there been a more flat and apathetic delivery in a Nightmare On Elm Street movie.

With that line, the series dies, and we’re ready to leave it and its allegory for life behind. We’ve been through nine movies that have guided us from puberty through death, and we’ve killed a lot of teenagers in between. Thanks, Freddy, for showing us the way.

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