#I like the show enoufh

[taytei]

Alphabet Challenge: B - B.N.A. (Brand New Animal)

My other option was bnha but I wanted to try something I haven’t done art for

#bna: brand new animal #bna #fanart #michiru kagemori #nazuna hiwatashi #shirou ogami #digital art #shart from the heart #I like the show enoufh #fun art and animation #shipped Michiru and Nazuna and love adopted dad-daughter dynamics at all times #the ending was … kinda a mess but I enjoyed myself so. i do art!

[goatedgreen]

i just overheard a guy at my work who claims to be a writer talking about fucking AI and how its helping him so artworks for his "novels" and how he gets all his inspiration from video games and everyone who was listening to his pseudo intellectual bullshit was like "wowww thats so smart! you must get so much writing done like that!" like yeah if all your ideas are taken from elsewhere and you dont pur effort into building characters im sure its very easy to churn out bullshit on a regular basis

but thats not the part that really pisses me off. what REALLY gets to me is that this guy OFFERED TO CRITIQUE MY FUCKING WRITING. and i did send him a sample! and his critique was SHIT!!!!!!! there was like maybe two valid comments (using certain words too much, paragraph breaks) but the rest was just him NOT READING THE FUCKING STORY.

at the end (which by the way i need to mention that i emailed him a pdf of a draft chapter which he printed off, marked in pen like a teacher, then scanned back to me) he had all these questions which, if he had a brain, he would know didnt make any fucking sense .

"how is Owen running in the woods with a long skirt on without tripping?" well, dickhead, earlier in the chapter i actually described how hes wearing trousers now!! it's actually really important that hes wearing trousers because theyre Melody's son's clothes!!! and that's important!!!! ALSO, even when he was wearing a skirt, i described it as SHORT. not long. ALSO ALSO, you can totally run in long skirts. yes even in forests.

he asked me why i didnt show Owen's "anger" more when he "decided" to shoot his father.............. he was scared and pulled the trigger by mistake because his father's yell made him flinch. he was never angry at any point in the whole 2000 words i sent you. he didnt even want to shoot the fucking gun.

at first i thought this might have been my fault for not making character intention clear enoufh in my writing but every other person i sent it to got it immediately and didnt ask the same stupid questions. so.

his other criticism was that Owen's dad wasnt homophobic enough. which i wasnt even going to comment on because what the fuck????

ALL THAT TO SAY that when i then overheard him bragging about his oh so effective "writing process" i had a realisation of just. "oh! no wonder his critique was so shit! hes just not a very good writer!"

#SORRY FOT THR LONGASS POST #THIS GUY JUST MAKES ME SO MAD

[vampire6bux]

i wish i could easily explaiim what is going on in my head but I Jate everyone jmwdiTely assuming i have did or zonething Peobably because I have a tendency to hate any aspect of my life that becomes a pathological diagnosable number . Doesn’t feel like that to me Because then im reduced to dictionary definitions & boxes and labels . Strange . Some of them were stuffed animals that talked and kept talking and eventually moved out of their bodies and into the world in my head , some were ghosts, a lot are game charCters , all of them are fragments of my past lives from my soul archive and are there to store memories that can’t return to one big piece until time stops and the angels want all of their data but ive always been thereAnd people have tried to call ME a “fictive” Before in, their effort to diagnose my experience and I hate that a Lot. I’m not a fictive I’m not an anything I’m Satanick that’s me I’m just me . Interestningly the first Other person I remember early, was Ñ, who talked to me when my cousins lcoked me in an empty refrigerator in the garage so i could calm down enoufh to wait for someone to find me . And maybe two years later after that emmet showed up and he started writing down everything that ever hapened in my life. and some other people . And they all vanished from 2016 and some more vanished in 2018 until it was just me and then suddenly Brian showed up 2022 and they all started waking up again too

#it’s just easier to say words like Headmate ig.

[archive-of-the-incident]

Hey guys heres evidence that he’s faking his suicide to trick yall into feeling bad cuz he sent me this earlier right after I called him out in this thread, he took time out to write a schizopost about me and sent it to where I could see it on discord (shared server) but I got distracted and didn’t screenshot. He banned me from the server too cuz he knew I’d be able to show everyone him acting insane. One part of the edgy dumbass shizopost poem said somethinf about “Jared’s claws tearing into me” something like that. Even if I don’t have a screenshot I showed more than enoufh proof already to prove that he makes up insane rambles and insults

[gyahyahyahayhahayahyahyahyahyaha]

dream about crossing this massive landscape tryna figure out the truth of the death of a certain individual. it became such a convoluted and multilayered thing we had to keep being reminded by each other and by others we were talking about it to.. it was so full of shocking twists n turns and we had to travel across so many dofferent places ans environments that it only served to help our confusion. it was just me amd one other person investigating this li wish i rememveree who thet were but they were serving a bit of emo cunt. anyways alls i remember was being in this sorta snowy mountain town nd one of the residents gabe me this take out container of udon noodles with thus like butter pasta sauce thing idr what was in it exactly and it looked really good except for a sizavle amount of butter that wasnt mixed in properly and instead of saying anything to her about it i just ran off behind one of the nearby houses and began carefully but vigorously mixing it all in. it was good. it was really good it made me cry a lot. i was near enoufh to be evesdropping on my partnet who was stil talking to the woman who gave me the food. i felt bad but i had some... reason? for doing this? especually since she was on the verge of tears already before we showed up but me running off like that made her start spiralijg into thinking me and everyone in this town hated her and her udon dish(i didnt) and her (i didnt). while my partner was assuaging her fears i was behind a nearby house just bawlijg my eyes out into the takeout container as i was scarfingd it all down. i still dont know why i did this.

i might actually.

anyways the town was really pleasant. it was fucked up talking to all those people (we talked to A LOT of ppl about this)and seeing how many different ways they were handling it and how deeply it all effected them all. even if they barely knew the person whos death we were investigatingg. even if they hated them. even if they barely knew them. even if they had only found out when we told them. even if they just straight up didnt care.

idk.. i wish i remembered the rest of the dream

#dreaj

[tealfruit]

when ur mentally and/or chronically ill its. incredible the difference it makes when someone is willing to care for u thru ur bad days, and even just take u seriously when ur feeling rough

#nerd alert #idk if im qualified as chronically ill tbh but im showing a lot of symptoms of post-covid disorder or whatever #which. i think is one? #but either way i gots menthol ill niss and thats enough to put me on my ass sometimes #and june just.....does things for me. cooks me food and reminds me to drink water #asks what i need and lets me communicate how i need to even if its in 1-word responses #hes there for me when i need him and never makes me feel bad abt it... #its enoufh to make a bitch cry #i cant help but think abt how my ex would like. yell at me if i was too depressed to do anything. or bitch abt me being lazy #or if i asked him to do something hed make a million excuses and bitch at me for not doing a thing myself #it was awful but tbh it keeps me feeling like. really lucky and blessed to have june #who always takes care of me and never ever complains even a little bit abt it #🥺🥺💙💙💙 #💙💚

[frecht]

wait oh my god. i think i need to shell out $4 to see the numbers for this bc im almost certain fake palindromes was only a few plays above love me normally (this is ALL TIME). and ive barely even used spotify in weeks. apologies for yet another post saying "look how many times i listened to beneath the brine" but im going a bit mad over this. like how did i even do this.

#NUMBER 2 ALL TIME??? #i swear it was 3 last time i looked and i cannot stress enoufh that i like. never use spotify so it must have already been close #ive got to emphasize that i found it january 10 2022. 37 days ago. #plus however many plays this is (>200 certainly. possibly more) must be added to the 125 on my phone and an uncountable number on youtube #(the reason its so high on spotify is 1. i had it on loop during online school in january and #2. musicolet shows me the number next to the song and i didnt want it to get blown too far out of proportion from my other songs) #i also want to emphasize that tjis song is over 6 minutes long #if it had been normal song length (3 minutes) id have listened to it probably 600 times in just barely a month #more than 600 #because im an unreasonably high percentage of views on that acoustic live in desden version on youtube #sorry to keep posting about how many times ive listened to beneath the brine #i just think its a little insane #and this is the best tracking ive been able to do for a music hyperfixation ever #talkin #tfc

[doctorlecterstheremin]

hannibal s1ep7 sorbet

•bloody hell an episode of franklyn and tobias i find them both unbearable

•yh fully cannot emphasise enoufh how much i hate fuckinf franklyn

•find it rly funny how mrs komeda is in like every single fic even tho she appears like twice in one episode

•hannibal is so sexy in a tux

•actually embarrassing that jack thinks this could be the ripper it’s obviously not

•omg just remembered the back of the ambulance scene is later is better keeper myself

•still haven’t worked out who the ravenstag represents honestly

•franklyns michael jackson speech is HILARIOUS hannibal always looks so amused by his bs also imagine how sad hannibal feels that this fucker is so desperate to be his friend but will won’t fuck him

•bedilia 💖🥰💖🥰💖🥰💖🥰💖 she GETS hannibal it’s amazing

•also her voice in this ep is so different to the rest of the show she uses her normal accent here

•i love ‘am i you psychiatrist or are we simply having conversations’ ‘yes’

•omg the rude homophobe what a dickhead

•ok like hannibals food does look rly good but i’m honestly not convinced he uses enoufh seasoning :/ sry :/ also needs to learn to stray from a recipe from time to time

•rly enjoy how much alana enjoys that beer

•hannibal all jokey like ‘what have affairs’ after alana says wills does that too but u know deep down he’s pissed and wants to kill anyone his bf sleeps w

•might make a roledex of baking recipes like hannibals i like the vibe

•cheese folk 🙄🙄 everyone likes cheese franklyn ur not special !

•OMG THE WILL JOT TURNINF UP SCENE HANNIBAL ACTS SO ABOVE THE ‘DULL ACHE OF BEINF ALOME’ FRANKLYN TALKS ABT THEN LOSES HIS SHIT OVER WILL HAHAHHAHAHA THIS IS A COMEDY SHOW THE MUSIC !!!! 😭😭😭

•this man has bpd fr will is his fp and it’s intense !!!! been there hanni it’ll be ok 💖

•wait why did it take hannibal from 7:30 to 9 to get to will at the academy ? is it a long drive ?? he’s so extra!!!

•hmm was that will starting to suspect hannibal a tiny bit when h said ‘he takes their organs because he doesn’t think they deserve them’ he seems sus !

•god i love you beverly katz

•oh my hid the way will watches him in the back of the ambulance i feel like he almost knows at this point but is too intrigued to even consider investigating him he’d already rather join him also those arms??? yeeeee

•THEN HE IMMEDIATELY BRINGS HIM WINE LMAOOOO HE WANTS TO FUCK THE RIPPER BCOS HES THE RIPPER HE ONLY HETS MAD WHEN IT TURNS OUT HES THE COPYCAT omg if he does know that means him sayinf ‘ i have a date with the chesapeake ripper’ is intentional and to get hannibal heated ong

#hannibal liveblog #hannibal season one #nbc hannibal #hannibal #hannibal deserves more #hannibal lecter #will graham #hugh dancy #mads mikkelsen #murder husbands #fannibals

[jenniferxprentiss]

jesus. what the hell is wrong w these anons recently ??? i’ve been seeing so much hate to the people that deserve it the least. u come off so nicely and honestly even if u didn’t? they can just block u. idk why anyone’s going out of their way to say a hateful thing when it’s so easy just to move on with their life. not to mention that u of all people don’t deserve it??? this makes me so mad. i hope ur okay. they suck ass ❤️❤️

thank you love <33 honestly the anons don’t bother me, it’s when they attack my babies that I get ANGRY. but hey, I hope their parents teach them enoufh love and compassion to like...show love to others instead of hate

[anon-hug-box]

project: Hug-Bot (3/3)

[Part 1] [Part 2]

Warnings: Not “positive”, angst/drama, drunk character depiction, swearing, zalgo, if you have a fear of robots it’s best to skip this post.

[rummaging through files you find a document titled “project: Hug-Bot”]

May 30th 2019 | v2.3

“hell yeah! they’re here! they’re finally here fuck. the wheels I ordered for the box are here sweet... on a different note, can’t stop thinking about the two asks I got a week ago... they... they were so descriptive. it’s like that person knew what’s going on in my head... but no way, right...? that person is... it can’t be her.”

[attached are two screenshots of Tumblr asks]

“This is a story of a man. He was lonely, neglected, beaten. / He tried to play god, create a companion one day... But his corruption let him astray. / With nowhere to run to and nowhere to hide, he tried to bury his frustration inside. / But today look at him, he's just as alone, just as ignored, no one to listen to his story being told. / The tale will soon be forgotten and gone, another soul to never find where it could belong.”

“You're not yourself, what went wrong? Have you forgotten where you've came from? / You've sold your soul to a demon, your kindness as well. Lying, telling everyone you're doing well. / You're no creator, you're barely a man. I can't recognize you anymore, Auden.”

June 14th 2019 | v2.4

“guess who has wheels now. it’s still not sure how to properly move in the environment but... hey it’s progress.”

June 15th 2019 | v2.4

[corrupted data] Auden I... I’ve... I never could’ve predicted that you would give me such power...

[attached is an image of a black box standing on four wheels, the name “Hug-Bot” is displayed on its front]

June 18th 2019 | v2.4

“... regret.”

June 19th 2019 | v2.4

“update: found it. little shit was hiding under my bed.”

June 19th 2019 | v2.4

[corrupted data] I’ve never felt so... h̶u͞҉ḿ͡͡a̸̕n͘͠. I can move around... I... E̡͠͠R҉̵̛R̢O̧R҉. I’m not human. I’ll never be- Error: overheating. shut down procedure initiated-

June 20th 2019 | v2.5

“fun. bot can you go a week without crashing please? I’m so tired of it. I can’t even find what went wrong this time.”

June 25th 2019 | v2.5

“ha the glitch contacted bot trying to scare it... you can’t scare a robot, get that into your dense demon brain. also tried to scare me... you don’t even know where I am. whatever.”

July 22nd 2019 | v2.5

“ir’s npt enoufh... I don’t wabt bot to be a fyckinf box on wjeels I wanr... I do’nt know whst I want. I dln’t know whu I’m botherijng to type rn. ugh.”

July 24th 2019 | v2.5

“changed my blog’s url. why was my url ‘white-noise-puppet’ in the first place ahaha. Auden come on. find a hobby that won’t get you in danger why don’t ya.”

July 25th 2019 | v2.5

“so... I might have made a mistake.”

July 29th 2019 | v2.5

[corrupted data] Creator has been acting... off. He’s claiming not to remember people I had registered as his friends... He’s been getting himself involved with some sort of a joke cult...? I’m still trying to calculate possible reasons...

July 29th 2019 | v2.5

[attached is an audio recording, quiet sobbing can be heard and the sound of a working TV, a few seconds into the recording a male voice speaks up] “What? No, you don’t need to repeat yourself I can just scroll up and read again... No bot I don’t want a hug. And don’t call me by my name. Don’t call me creator either... In fact go away...” [the recording is mostly silent for a few seconds until the voice speaks again] “God this better be worth it...”

August 5th 2019 | v2.5

“they... liked my pathetic show and told me they’ll agree to sell me parts... can’t believe that their ‘condition’ was that I put myself in danger for their entertainment... great, not only can they kill me without leaving any traces, they’re fucked up as well. ugh who am I to judge, I’m fucked up for always working with the wrong people.”

August 17th 2019 | v2.5

[attached is an image of a metallic arm resting on a desk]

August 21st 2019 | v2.5

[corrupted data] Auden hasn’t been sleeping lately... His mental health is going to get affected at this rate. I don’t know what to do, my database doesn’t have any fitting options. I’m... worried. Can I even be worried?... I was told that I’m not beeping as much anymore... I don’t understand what it m̵ea͟n̡s.

September 1st 2019 | v2.5

“update: I’ve finished building the body. it’s... amazing honestly. and better be working, it cost me so fucking much... I’ll try uploading bot into the body this Friday. wish me luck?”

[attached is an image of a humanoid metallic body propped against the wall]

September 2nd 2019 | v2.5

“note to self, move that damn thing from the corridor. nearly shit my pants when I saw it in the dark.”

September 6th 2019 | v2.6

[corrupted data] I’m scared. I’m scared I’m scared I’m SCARED I’M SCARED I’M̨ S̀C͟A̛R͡E̕D please p̦͇̱̼̞le̱͔̘͈͍ạ̗̳̺͇͔s̼͎̞͕̯e̘̪̪̟̞̫̭ plea̶s͏e make it stop Au-

September 6th 2019 | v2.6

“so that was... a failure. let’s call it a night.”

September 7th 2019 | v2.6

“first analysis, I’m not sure... what went wrong? bot’s program was supposed to be able to handle the new shell... and even if not, it just wouldn’t be able to use it... why the fuck did you crash you little shit...... I’m trying to get you closer to being human, cooperate with me damn it.”

September 10th 2019 | v2.7

“failure.”

September 12th 2019 | v2.7.1

“another failure.”

September 13th 2019 | v2.7.2

“why...”

September 16th 2019 | v2.7.2_test

“today was new, the moment I plugged bot in, it started overheating... don’t start a fire in my apartment. fuck.”

September 17th 2019 | v2.7.2_test_final

[corrupted data] I’m starting to conclude that creator hates me. It... contradicts my ṕr̀o͘t̨o̵c͝o͝l͡... But there’s no other logical explanation. I... want to be human. Why won’t he let me... Forced shut down initiated.

September 17th 2019 | v2.7.2_test_final_final

“please... I’m doing this for you god damn it.”

September 18th 2019 | v2.7.2_test_final_final_whothefuckcares

[attached is an audio recording of a male voice] “Leave me alone bot. Hm? More of your positive quotes. No it didn’t help... [silence] Thanks for trying to cheer me up. What’s bothering me? Well...” [silence] “I’ll figure it out on my own, don’t worry about me bud.”

September 24th 2019 | v2.8

“it’s going to be a year soon... since I’ve started this project. I wanted it to have its own body as a present so... badly. I don’t think this is going to happen at this rate. I hate this.”

September 30th 2019 | v2.8

[corrupted data] Been scanning through Auden’s blog today to see if I missed anything worthy of creating an entry for, found two odd asks. My database has a possible explanation for them, but I’ll need to ask him before I can record them.

September 30th 2019 | v2.8

[attached is an audio recording of a male voice] “Excuse me what? Yes I know what you’re referring to, box. But... what. Willow isn’t my sister, she's my friend- Er... Was, my friend. Why do you know her name? Oh. Of course you eavesdropping little box... This is not what I gave you wheels for.” [silence] “I don’t think that it was her... She... We haven’t spoken in years.” [silence] “Oh right, happy birthday, bot.” [a beep can be heard]

October 10th 2019 | v2.8

“can’t believe I forgot to delete that old ass memo. this is funny... the bot posted a ‘happy birthday Antisepticeye’ thing... it doesn’t even know who Anti is. better this way... the past is in the past. Edit: you know... no, nevermind.”

October 13th 2019 | v2.8

“yeah I don’t think that we’ll be using the body I built for bot... it keeps crashing and... honestly I’m tired of it. guess I have a human looking statue now, fun. on a different note... I managed to contact Willow. apparently it was her after all and she was waiting for me to call this entire time... fail. she’s going to be in the city next month and said that we could meet and well... yeah I’m scared.”

October 19th 2019 | v2.8

“bot came up to me with an odd... message today? I think we need to have a talk.”

[attached is a screenshots of text]

“Auden, my system is giving out errors... My database says I’m incapable of feeling desire, but I want to be human. I want to be like you, Auden... Why won’t you let me be like you...”

October 20th 2019 | v2.8

[corrupted data] I got it all wrong! Creator wants me to be human as well! I’m- am I able to be happy? I don’t know, I’m happy! We both want the same- we both-... I’ll be human one day. I ̕k͘n͞ow͡ ͜i̧t̸. It’ll happen.

October 22nd 2019 | v2.8

[attached is an audio recording of a male voice] “Okay. I made a promise to myself not to type when I’m drunk so I’m recording but liiiiiiisten here computer. What if I got it all wrong? What if Willow was fucking right? I’m trying to play fucking god here I can’t just magically make a body for bot. What if. Listen what if I use an existing body? Yes. Yes I’m a genius! Fuck yesssss.”

October 23rd 2019 | v2.8

“sober now, anyway. I’ve went through the details again and... it makes sense? I don’t have a battery strong enough to power the body I’ve built... but a human heart... ah food’s here gotta go.”

October 27th | v2.8

“sleep? what’s that. haha. running on coffee, pizza and frustration by now. been doing well though. I think I’m finally on the right track. yes. I got it. I’m finally in control.”

October 31st 2019 | v2.8

[attached is an audio recording of a loud beeping followed by a male voice] “You scared me the fuck out! Don’t sneak on me box, fuck. [a sigh can be heard] “What-... No Halloween isn’t about jumpscaring people, bot. I mean, I guess it can be? It isn’t in my eyes though. [the sound of typing] “What do you mean by ‘am I lonely’...? Bot did you watch too much TV again? Figured. I’m perfectly fine bot, I have you... don’t I?” [a beep can be heard]

November 3rd 2019 | v2.8

“the box won’t stop asking me whether I’m ‘lonely’ or worrying for me... that’s what I get for making a positivity bot huh. I mean... does it even matter? the only one I ever had in my life... was bot... who’s not even human. god I’m pathetic.”

November 8th 2019 | v2.8

“that... hurt. Edit: forgot to explain what happened. I made an insertion in my arm for a chip... it... at first I wanted to stop, but the more I kept going the more I was sure about this... I want bot to be human. it should have its own life. I... I need it to be real. healing seems to be going decent, will attempt to upload bot once it stops hurting like a bitch.”

November 13th 2019 | v2.8

[corrupted data] Creator said that I’m going to have a body soon! I’m so... excited? That’s unfamiliar. I̴'͢m goin̕g͜ ͢t̶o bé h́u͜ḿa͏ń!̶ My wish is finally coming true, I’m going to be h̵͘̕͟͝a҉̴͢p̧p̶̢͢͜͝y̛͏.

November 15th 2019 | v2.8

“scheduled a meeting with Willow this Sunday... I’m. I need to clean my apartment, she’ll die when she sees this mess... I haven’t seen her since I left my home... I don’t know what she’ll think of who I am now... I don’t know what I’ll think of who she is now... aaaaah fine I’ll go just. do things.”

November 17th 2019 | v3.0_experimental

[attached are several audio recordings]

[first is of a male voice accompanied by beeping] “Okay, the time is... Two minutes past four PM. Plenty of time to test this and still have time to make dinner. And by make I probably mean order-... Anyway, bot.” [a beep can be heard] “I’m going to turn you off, take your chipset out, and upload you into the module I inserted into my arm. All good so far? Good. You’re going to be operating primarily through the components I added so it shouldn’t put me in danger. If everything goes smoothly, we’re supposed to be able to coexist without my body rejecting you.” [beeping can be heard]

[second recording starts off silent, soon the male voice speaks up] “I... passed out. It’s... Twenty eight minutes past six PM. No response from bot yet, and I’m feeling drained. I’m giving this half an hour more before stopping for today.”

[a few seconds into the third recording, beeping can be heard, followed by a scream and quiet sobbing]

[the last recording has about an hour of silence, beeping interrupting it here and there. there’s a sound of a doorbell, repeating a few times before the sound of a door opening and bags falling to the floor accompanied by a female scream] “Auden? Auden what’s wrong?! Please...” [the recording ends with the sound of muffled cries]

November 17th 2019 | v3.0_experimental

[corrupted data] Hug-Bot version 3.0_experimental is now online.

[Part 4]

***

((OOC&Writer’s note))

This has been... a journey. 

We were always planning for bot to be corrupted... but a few months ago this finally clicked into place. In fact the reason why it took so long to get this out was because the images (of the bot on wheels, mechanic arm, etc.) were supposed to be actual images posted on the blogs, but we couldn’t get to making them...

This year hasn’t been easy on any of us, but we’re still here, and still fighting to find our own happiness, and thank you guys, for helping us get closer to it.

Oh and... the last entry is not a link by accident... If you’re interested in an @anon-hug-box 2, might be worth checking out ;)

Thank you for reading, and thank you for the support on the Hug-Bot project.

- The mods.

#jacksepticeye #hug bot #v3.0_experimental

[witchysleepingbeauty]

Hi princess! So imagine this lady who's always ALWAYS being negative abt her kids, never a kind word and only belittling, every other day, like "what did I do wrong really? What kind of kids have I raised? They're bla bla bla" with venom. And worst who doesnt acknowledge how negative + painful she is

When i try to talk to her nd ask her exactly whats the issue with 'me' or how can I help her to ease her burden as she keeps complaining how we're ungrateful or keeps comparing to other 'more acceptable in her eyes" children, she gets defensive nd won't answer properly. She says "ohhh, why don't U know that? arent u old enough to know?' and then starts ranting. when time after time ive begged her to clearly tell me, no passiv agressiveness please! it doesn't work nd i end up wondering why i even bother when im only the villain... Yes this ig is my role in her story that ive writen? confusing 😅

when I can, sometimes i try to help her even tho shes the sort who likes to stay busy so she'll find smth else to do lol, nd inside hope for her to be at least a little NOT negative today.... she either ignores or gets angrier nd goes all "hey, I didn't ask U to do that! How dare u act like u did me a favor! U think ur perfect while im just ur servant right?" when i never even intend that? i effing HATE negative reinforcement nd i feel so damn bad for her, nd shes taught me how negative reinforcement is the worst thing to use, cuz it never teaches anything only builds resentment!!

this is smth i realised that she cant be pleased, she wants to get attention what I mean is, whenever we spend time together, she is perfectly fine when we're talking abt her hobbies nd interests which tbh im NOT that interested in personally but since she likes them i like to discuss them with her nd help her out with projects. not to say "ohhh im so cool i help out with her projects look at me so kind of me! lol" its just it hurts when ur own mother doesn't even rpetend to care abt ur interests. i suspect deep down i carried this feeling of unworthiness ie if even my own mother doesn't care abt my hobbies/projects, no one will . which is why i feel so uncomfortable sharing anything personal to my rl friends cuz im so afraid theyll reject me too :(

By not caring i dont mean I expect her to listen nonstop to me. she has her own life but i mean she purposely zones out, rolls her eyes which HURT SM when i was a child, or even worst she says "im not interested" nd shuts the convo. again, at this point, idec anymore as ive learned slowly to value nd cherish my own value nd hobbies etc which is an important lesson anyway

the only thing i want is to stop her being so painfully negative LOUDLY. Yk I suspect becuz of her dwelling on whats wrong in her life, shes gotten severe numbness nd swelling in one arm? and even the doctors cant detect whats wrong! nd its hella painful nd she can't even lift it up sometimes!!!! THIS GOES ON TO SHOW HOW INNER CONSTANT NEGATIVITY CAN BE REFLECTED IN THE OUTER AKA OUR BODY!! To anyone else who cant help have negative thoughts ONLY, u gotta try to change them! Please! Bcuz my mother's pain in her arm is sometimes crazily too much! Nd this in turn, esp on days where all i hear is her gripe, its worse at night!

Anyway I was compeled to write this as a while ago i went to the kitchen for water nd from her room i heard her loudly complain nd mutter abt how her kids are "socially unacceptable" nd "dear god i pray please please don't let me rely on them in old age, i made a mistake raising them!" She's the sort whos got so many limiting beliefs that initially led to my deep unhappiness w/o knowng it was these beliefs at play eg if you dont become a certain career, youll have no security, or recently she keeps nd keeps lamenting abt not havjng 'enoufh money' (we r having kinda financial crisis due to some rlly terrible decisions by my other parent) or 'oh Im STUCK with this [bad word] family!" when she saw a movie abt someone who went on a trip nd began comparing her own life to it. She's so talented we all ask her to start an online business but she backs away nd says 'how will i ever get capital? im doomed to never have what i want' nd I myself have a bit empty wallet temporarily so i cant help her. Nyway, while im trying to fix my own beliefs, seeing her rage nd let negativity completly take over her is alarming nd worrying to me. it makes me feel negative emotions too. im not entirely confident in mastering my mind ywt. i was that overly sensitive kid at school nd i absorv her energy a lot. Those who u love the most, hurt u the most. nd i agree bcoz while im hurt by her (not that shes intentionally hurting me. THRU her im hurt), i do love her. Nd now thanks to the law ik by changing my beliefs abt things, i can change the world

My reason is i cant change her bcuz she gets hella maddened if i suggest a less negative thought. Nd she instead starts blaming me for my 'decisions in Life' which SHE would NEVERRR make oh no... -_- Nd im not saying i try to be obnoxious abt it hell no! im talking abt getting frustrated at the table talking abt smth abt a random topic, then suddenly listening to her start complaining abt e g. Some kid whos "richer" than i am heatedly! nd if i steer the convo away, nope, she keeps fuming a bit

so since i can only change myself, how the hell do i change my assumptions of her? i affirm having a great mother, happy nd open with her thriving business etc. i affirm this but i cant focus cuz doing so inevitbly makes me sad lol cuz i rmmbr how happy nd liveky she used to be before some unfortunate things in our family that started yrs ago. Which affected us all. Any advice, please? im on a mental diet hwoever the earlier incident of her complaining abt us again caused smth in me to snap. im distancing myself from her but the short times im with her there's only a strong air of disapproval, pain nd misery around her. Tbh i was like that pre-law, not knowing how destructiv my thoughts were, while she was the happy optimistic grateful one. Nd now? Im only slightly more self aware than before ie im NOT saying im able to rise in consiousness SOo much that im 'untouchable' nd buddha-like! Nor is my mom wrong bcuz she's me pushed out! its only her lvl of conciousness nd thats it. its just I don't want to cause or feel more pain or hav any excuse to curse her ,when ego sometimes takes over, anymore. im having some personal issues to take care of too, which is why this is affecting me too much. Sort of like having a weak immune system already?

I want my happy intelligent mom back. ik i got to change me... but the doing is way harder than the saying

🫀anon

Okay first of all imma say it cause I don’t think nobody else will…. Your mom is shitty…. There, I said it. She is abusive and selfish and a bad mom. No parent should ever treat their children that way and make them think they need to fix them.

Other than that yes it’s true she is your manifestation but I think it’s important to let emotions out. Be mad at her for once, stop rationalizing her bad behavior. You have the right to feel mad, angry, sad. YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID.

I know it seems impossible to keep a mental diet when you see the negative behavior you wish to change every day. I assume you live in the same house. My suggestion is to stick to your mental diet and try to interact as little with her as possible. Go out more often or stay a bit more in your room. Every time you see a behavior from her that you don’t like, and you feel like affirming doesn’t help, close your eyes and see her hugging you and telling you all sorts of beautiful, loving things you’d like to hear from her.

You should also work on your self concept. Parental issues often manifest from poor self concept. Affirmations like “I am worthy, I am loved, I am enough, I am respected, I am cherished” work amazing.

[anna-axe]

2/9 User princeescaluswords and liliaeth have been sistematically ignoring everything canon in order to protect their own pro Scott anti everyone else agenda. They are just bitter 'cause Stiles dared to call their personal fave Scott Mccall out on his own hypocrisy. According to actual receipts, Theo emotionally blackmailed Stiles into working with him, which is why he never said a word to anyone about what happened with Donovan

[Lost the first part of this but basically telling me I'm stumbling in on Fandom Drama]3/9 (that, and because Scott was canonically quick to blame Kira and accusing her of being a dangerous killer in the previous episode); and always according to actual canon, when Scott confronted Stiles about Donovan, Scott had already made up his mind about what happened and didn't really care about hearing Stiles' version of the events.4/9 Stiles literally says more than once that he had no choice and accidentally killed Donovan in self defense because he wanted to kill his dad and actively tried to eat him, but True Self Righteous Hypocrite Scott Mccall's only (redundant) reply was *quoting* "BUT THE WAY IT HAPPENED... IT'S NOT SELF DEFENSE ANYMORE! WE CAN'T KILL THE PEOPLE WE ARE TRYING TO SAVE! THERE'S ALWAYS A CHOICE!"5/9 and then Scott proceeded to kick his mentally illed BFF out of the pack without even bothering to ask for Malia, Lydia and Liam's opinion first. Scott's the only one who was dumb enough to blindly trust Theo since the very beginning, going as far as ignoring actual evidence of Theo's suspicious at best behaviour - Theo's FAKE parents' FAKE signature, Theo creeping into his girlfriend's bedroom to record her sleeping without her consent? Not suspicious AT ALL according to good Scott! -6/9 putting his own and everyone else's life at risk because of his own incompetence and stupidity in the process. As for their whiny "Stiles blaming poor Scott for his own actions" delusions, if you watch the episode or read the episode's transcript you'll see that it literally NEVER happened. Stiles simply called Scott out on his own self righteous behaviour and blatant hypocrisy ~7/9 funny how Scott feels somewhat entitled to judge Stiles (or anyone else, really) for accidentally killing Donovan in self defense to protect his only parent when Scott was the one who actively plotted and conspired with Deucalion behind everyone's back just to murder a bunch of unstable chimera kids he previously referred to as "innocent victims" and also actively planned to murder Gerard because "he threatened my mom, I have no choice!", right? True Self Righteous Hypocrite indeed. ~8/9 and Scott flat out refused to listen to Stiles, despite Stiles explaining more than once that he accidentally killed Donovan in self defense and to protect his father. Those are canon FACTS. The users who jumped on your post adding their own self insert pro Scott anti Stiles bullshit do not care about actual canon (otherwise they'd have to admit Scott is canonically an incompetent, self righteous hypocrite who put everyone's life at risk because of his own stupidity and can't do literal shit9/9 without other people's constant help): they only care about their own twisted, hilariously inaccurate (and biased) personal fanon version of the show. Which has literally NOTHING to do with CANON or the actual show but all to do with their unhealthy hate boner/creepy obsession for Stiles, Derek, Sterek, Steter, and any compelling fictional character who's way more popular and interesting than their personal fav and idol Scott Mccall or any ships that has nothing to do their fav Scott Mccall.Wow, this is a LOT of reading to do at little after 10 o'clock, especially directly after getting off work.I'm going to try to respond to this in as Anne of a way as I can, meaning spitting my opinion all over the place. Let's do this, lol.Firstly, I'd just like to say, I don't mind people reblogging my stuff and putting out their own opinions. There was zero hate directed towards me, so that's a plus. [If you missed this drama, it's quite hilarious how it started with me fangirling over Tyler Hoechlin] I didn't see any of what either of them said as negative at all. Or hating on other characters either. None of the characters are perfect, and I also enjoy Scott's flaws just as much as I enjoy everyone else's (except Peter, I just can't bring myself to like him even a little bit, or Raf McCall, cause abandonment deserves no excuses) I am watching the show currently, and am experiencing what's canonly going on while enjoying my own non canon thoughts (*cough*sterek*cough*) I don't really remember Scott calling Kira a dangerous killer, but remember him more just trying to do his best at doing what he seems to think is right (No matter how bad his judgement seems to be, he's supposed to be 17, he's not going to have good judgment) And also, he was trying to talk to Stiles, and both boys are teenage boys who make assumptions and didn't communicate well at all. Stiles DID NOT tell Scott how it happened, and with the way Theo (who is the bad guy in this situation, let's not forget that) described things to Scott, and the way Stiles was responding, let's be honest. It made Theo sound right. I don't particularly like Scott's character (come at me if you'd like to, but come on, he's kind of an idiot), but I think Stiles should have more clearly communicated, but if he had, it wouldn't have been as realistic because as a teenage boy of SEVENTEEN he wouldn't have. It's just fact.And again, Scott didn't kick Stiles out canonly, they got into a fight. And at this point, ALL THESE KIDS ARE MENTALLY ILL!!! PTSD. ALL OF THEM. And it's very beautifully written and acted out as they all display behaviors that would coincide with the PTSD they would all have abtained at this point in the series.Can't argue with the Theo thing, because ugh! I HATE Theo, and also love how well he's portrayed. But Scott is 17, and he's a trusting little asshole. And he definitely is gullible, but it's not his fault that he believed Theo. There were times in S5, where even after the evidence is shown to the viewers, where I went, I wonder if he's the good guy just secretly...The Kira thing though is on point the most fucked up thing, though. Like when is it okay to record someone sleep talking????????They weren't being whiny in my opinion. They were stating their own opinions, as you are rather aggressively doing so in my ask box. They have every right to do so, as do you. Scott is 17, of course he's going to make bad decisions. Hell, at only 20 I make a shit ton of stupid decisions. It happens. He hasn't lived enoufh life yet to lead anyone. Which is why I think Derek leaving was shitty as fuck. Just saying.Oh damn, spoiler alert for me.... SCOTT DOES WHAT NOW???? I mean, his communication skills are seriously lacking :/ You obvious contain some serious hatred to the kid who is portrayed very realistically as a SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD BOY. He's 17, their all basically children doing the best they individually can. It happens. And also, opinions change. Ideas change. And at 17, they change rapidly. As to your next comment, calm the fuck down. Jesus. They weren't being at all rude or aggressive. You are. Of course he's incompetent, he's 17. But you also aren't seeing the good he has accomplished as well. Or see how they are all just trying their best (except maybe Malia? She's kind of obsessed with the whole birth mom needs to die thing) it seems to me, you also have a very biased opinion of Scott, and maybe need to take it down a couple hundred notches. I mean, I don't fault you a hundred percent, But your not taking all the canon facts into account either. Like I said, I'm not a huge fan of Scott, personally either. I watch the show mainly because of Stiles (and at one point Isaac and Derek, too) if Stiles had disappeared as well, I wouldn't be still continuing to watch the show, because for me Scott isn't worth the emotional rollercoaster that is Teen Wolf. But he does try.

[gibbearish]

#txt.png #offline #dsoap #cant tag #oge beem siccessfully keeping this shit on locksown for months now why am i onlg breakinf down right mow #actually o j know wjy its cause ive gotten barely any sleep this week and yesterday was hell on earth emotionally speaking #whatever im just sorry ypu gotta go theu all this shif bc of me #edit im sorry i PUT you thoruhg this shit