#I wish this is just paranoia

[canisalbus]

sorry im emotonal and going off of the other asks sent about machete and just i need to stress how beautiful it is to me that machete sees himself so undeserving of love and affection and feeling as if vasco's too good for him but despite all that he is so incredibly devoted to vasco and loving towards him (in his own way) but is so incredibly clear to anyone with eyes that just how in love he is with vasco. like it's not done out of a "oh god please never realize that you're too good for me here here let me overdo it with the affection" its done with the "i love you, and will always love you, no matter what happens to us or separates us, and i will give it to you as long as i am able, and if you ever leave, i won't be okay, but will still love you, and want you happy". like he doesn't use his own feelings of being undeserving taint his love or the way he loves for vasco, and it's so, so beautiful

.

#;M; #oauhh #that's so sweet I'm in shambles and so glad to hear all of that #sometimes I worry about whether I'm communicating their chemistry correctly #it would be so easy for this sort of relationship to gain suffocating and possessive and overall just abusive tones #and even though you could argue it would be a source for juicy drama I just don't want that #Machete could selfishly exploit Vasco's care and altruism without giving anything in return #or worse let his paranoia and jealousy get the better of him and end up destroying them both because if he can't have Vasco no one can #and Vasco could leverage his influence over Machete to manipulate and use him because out of them two he's the more mentally stable one #and it would be easy to take advantage of Machete's vulnerability obedience and his trust that Vasco would never harm him #but I don't know maybe it's a bit tropey and idealistic but I really just want these dogs to be genuinely good for each other #they have so many things working against them already I don't wish to see them backstab each other as well #they have a bit of a 'us against the world' thing going on which I really like #they're not perfect there's issues they're trying to work on but the will to get through it together is there #and I want to make it seem like they wouldn't hesitate to prioritize the other one's happiness and wellbeing at their own expense #if it came to that #anwered #anonymous

[humblemediagenius]

The need to share my OCs with everyone vs the fear that people won't be FUCKING NORMAL FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

#seaspeak #SORRY I'M LIKE #so paranoid all the tine #im just like #will you enjoy my OCs normally or will you say things #will you keep it to just you and me or bring it to places I'm not at #pleade if you're a mutual or something Do not talk about my OCs if I'm not there #my ocs aren't pieces of media they mean so fucking much to me #and the idea of people doing stuff without me freaks me tf out #i don't want a fandom I don't want a following i want a handful of normal friends #i like sharing my stories and playlists and stuff but god I'm so so so so so so so afraid people will take it too far #and so when I try to be more confident I immediately retract back into my paranoia #i just wish I had some reassurance that people mean the best #because i feel like I can't trust people I normally trust!!!!! when they literally have done Nothing wrong #THIS ISNT ABOUT ANYONE HRRE BTW ITS JUST PARANOIA

[spectacledraws]

the depression Dess?

thankyou for giving me an excuse to draw dess

#ask #ask game #deltarune #dess holiday #eye strain #oh man this palette is so awful… /pos.. #channeling shonen bat/lil slugger paranoia agent #she’s just like him frrrr #wish I had more time to make these more polished these are fun lol

[sammusbird]

I wish more modern horror stories, movies, whatever focused on mental illness as horror. NOT mentally ill people, but the illness itself. I think it would be good to add as a spice to heighten the horror in classic slasher style stuff. I want to see more sympathetic and strong characters to navigate a world where their perception and needs are different than others. not in a superpowered way. I want our final girl to survive bc they fought harder, got luckier, and ran faster than the others. I want to see characters with more ‘ugly’ mental illnesses we are meant to love and root for and cross our fingers they don’t get kersploded! I want to see how specific struggles make being in a horror movie worse

#this post brought to you by #emesis blue #i love it so much. I wish more mainstream horror was like it #also brought to you by the combination of my raging insomnia and paranoia a few years ago. I wrote some banger horror back then #and it was 99% accurate to my actual day to day life if I recall correctly. most started out as diary entries lol. I just changed 1 thing #horror #this is ok to reblog if you want I just wanted to write it for myself! 💛

[haldenlith]

KAYN CAN GET STUCK IN SHIT?!

... That is fucking hilarious and exactly what that gremlin deserves.

#Heartsteel Kayn #I was under the impression he could just shadow-bloop through things with ease #the Paranoia bloopers are everything #I wish the video had been longer #I love that chunk of those bloopers is just Kayn being dumb #I feel so bad for Yone

[running-in-the-dark]

okay, so I've been to our new apartment twice now (once when we got the keys, but it was dark and the landlord was there too; and we went back this morning for several hours).

I really like it, it's a lovely space, it's big enough, everything is great. except. we're on the ground floor and the side our apartment is on means that 1. you can look right into our bathroom from the carport, and 2. you can look right into the bedrooms when you're walking to the front door.

and that really unsettles me. obviously we'll do something about it (we'll put a window film of some sort on the bathroom window + curtains too probably, and curtains for the bedrooms).

but. I don't know if that'll be enough to get it out of my head? I have always been very paranoid about being watched, so, I don't know if just knowing that theoretically people could look in would be an issue...

#like. I know it's just paranoia because it even happened when we lived on the second floor and the house was on a bit of a hill so it was #literally impossible for anyone to look inside our apartment #but it really REALLY freaks me out #and now. you can LITERALLY look straight into our open shower if you stand at the window. #so. #I don't know?? #we have electric shutters in all the windows (awesome!) but I don't think it'd be great if I had to constantly have them down?? #I wish my brain was just normal #my husband isn't bothered by this at all and he doesn't get why I am #personal

[tmos-time]

HAPPY HALLOWED WEEN‼️‼️‼️‼️ Any spooky HCS for the end of October spirit?

ohhh SPOOKY headcanons? 🤔

how about this one; eridan and sollux have different styles of stress dream imagery

for sollux, its generally a state of decay; abandoned places with long grass and various states of animal carcases, decapitated snakes, zombies that try to bite him awake, the apocalypse -- stuff that brings in a feeling of the doomed

for eridan, its a little more complex; hiding defenceless in a changing room at the mall while half-life style aliens start to fire guns, getting lost while trying to get somewhere or time going by too quickly trying to get some sleep before the next day, people that he knows not acting quite right while staring too long and too intensely-- a wider array of things that *usually* bring in a feeling of helplessness

sometimes, ESPECIALLY post-sprite, the themes overlap a little lmao. when they get stress dreams, sollux just Wakes Up for the night if he gets one, eridan at least Tries to settle back down to sleep if he wakes up too early

#tmos opens mail #satiricalstardust #eridan ampora #sollux captor #was going to just talk about what type of horror they like + eridan fucking up his paranoia consuming psychological horror but GOD. dreams #i love dreams so much tbh. wish i had an encyclopedic knowledge to write down every dream ive had and assign it to eridan or sollux lmfao

[alphacrone]

i don’t WANT to live off grid i don’t WANT to have to homestead i don’t WANT to have to buy a generator and a water filter and stock up on canned goods for the next crisis i want to be able to rely on my community and my government during hardships but apparently that’s not a viable option anymore

#the community part is somewhat viable but it’s just like #our current communities can only do so much #my dad is buying a generator bc the winter is gonna be really bad and #that’s almost a guarantee the texas grid will collapse again #bc it didn’t really get winterized after 2021 #i’m not actually sure id be able to get to their house in a winter emergency either and my apartment won’t be purchasing generators lol #they keep threatening to shut our power off this summer which worries me #bc it’s been so goddamn hot #i live across from a retirement home i’m more worried about them than myself #i’m young i can get a little heat exhaustion yknow? #and like my paranoia has made me a tiny bit of a prepper so i have a respirator for the wild fires #and iodine for water and some army rations and camping gear and a crank radio #but i wish it didn’t feel necessary

[basingstokemercury]

yeah at this point those cute cowboys are basically the only thing keeping me sane I don't think that's an exaggeration

spent hours of multiple days just crying and hanging on to the hope of finding time for this watch

just uh a small distraction from the fact that with the way things are going I and my family could well be killed in the next few months

#I wish this was paranoia #just keep getting more scared with every development #one tiny bit of good news and who knows what repercussions that could bring considering the conspiracy theories already starting

[bimboviolence]

I’ve always been so afraid to be super into a character/selfship while in an actual relationship and it’s so nice that my partner is absolutely chill with it and pulls up AMVs to make me laugh and will sit here with me going UH UH UH WHAT TOOK YA SO LONG IDIOT back and forth and laughing for several minutes like yeah. Pretty good.

#it’s nice of him to just be like ‘we are all have adhd I get what it’s like to hyperfixate and if a character inspires u and this is fun- #there’s nothing wrong with it’ like I don’t show a lot of my shit bc I’m embarrassed LOL but it’s nice that I don’t have to pretend I’m- #not working on my dumb little self insert story that’s making me creatively happy rn lolol #idk im a freak off the leash and I appreciate not being made to feel ashamed #I wish I could go tell teenaged me that I wouldn’t have to hide everything one day! wow #I still do hide shit but that’s just to soothe my own paranoia and I appreciate that even THAT is understood #it’s nice .

[monster-noises]

Ahahahahaaha love love Love getting Medical Anxiety triggered by over hearing something at work and fucking Finally feeling normal by the end of the work day only to come home and Remember It

Best time

Good vibes

My insides are vibrating at a daaaaangerous frequency and it's Not Helping

#monster noises #i never know what to call this type of Ongoing Exaggerated Anxiety #cause I don't want to misues terms #and I don't think it's...... Active enough for me to qualify it as Paranoia Or Hypochondria #but it's got a Hairline trigger #(i.e useful tips posted benignly on the internet about how to check for/detect something - overhearing co workers talk about their health - #part of a podcast that portrays a catastrophic health event; all things that have sent me absolutely Spiralling #some that Continue to affect my behavior) #and a base level of Constant Fear that i just really wish i didn't have to deal with #i loose a lot of days were i'm just kinda puttering around not doing much unable to drum up the energy because my Brain is on Fire #trying to convince myself i either Am or Am Not on the verge of having a Stroke or some shit #and I don't talk about it a lot because......... #idk #seems like it's not serious enough to warrant it #though it absolutely is #and i don't want anyone to like... get concerned cause that's just gunna make Me Worse #and that's Really not gunna help

[bunny-j3st3r]

.

#trying to focu on my work but eugh #paranoia has been acting up again today #feel like everyone is talking about me behind my back #laughing and making fun of me #or just getting annoyed at me and ripping into my art or my writing #I even felt like my own parents were talking about me and whispering about me being a shit person #ive been like this for weeks now #i wish it would stop

[carmenpeach]

posting on my instagram again since forcing myself slowly but surely to be less horribly scared and nervous of people cause i added old coworkers to it and immediatly got embarassed that all i draw is furries or sonic characters with eyelashes smoking weed. so instead i uploaded a few consecutive drawings of shadow smoking weed and some of them left likes on them and its like oh okay you dont hate me <3

#its like i have paranoia or some shit. always forget that applies to normal shit rather than just the general terror #*lesbian experience with loneliness moment* im gonna crawl my way out of this hole if it kills me #wish i didnt pack those away i really need to read those again for the like 5th time

[thegizardofmars]

Just so you guys know I will never EVER reblog those fear inducing "reblog this or so and so will happen to you" kind of posts. Nah I'm not gonna put that fear in y'all😑

#i fucking hate those posts #idk I'll gladly take the bad luck or whatever the fuck theyre threatening if it means it wont trigger others paranoia or anxiety #i have schizoaffective and suffer from paranoia so those posts are hella triggering #i wish tumblr would just fucking delete those posts honestly #pesonal

[shinybulbasaur]

I really wish people would focus on the actual reason given for the ban (non explicit stuff marked as explicit) and not the hammer stuff not just for all the normal reasons but also because, as ridiculous as it sounds, I genuinely am uncomfortable seeing even cartoonish threats of violence at this volume

#its literally every other post right now and i have NO way of blocking it because none of it is tagged and half of it is in images or emojis #and like yeah my discomfort isn't a problem in the face of the actual issue but like #genuinely theres something wrong in my brain and seeing those posts constantly has really flipped a switch on my paranoia #and i just desperately wish this wasnt just. all a big meme to people. idk

[dhampir-dyke]

Had a kinda shitty therapy session w my new therapist and man. She wants me to try 'accelerated resolution therapy' to like. I guess rewrite my traumatic memories? But the absolute fucking fear I feel about it.... Literally everything in my body is telling me NOT to fucking do it. I don't even wanna go back.... idk what to do. I want to get better and not have a panic response every damn shift I work, but something is telling me this is a bad idea.

#what am i supposed to do. i told her i would at least just try the eye movements to get accustomed to them but the thought of rewriting #my memories. changing them. it feels wrong and it makes me sick at my stomach. #she says ill still know the facts of what happened..... but i just dont trust it #i cant stop crying. what a horrible session #i told her about a bit of the things that have happened to me. i feel like she doesnt quite grasp how much my past is inherently traumatic #i miss my old therapist. i wish i could still go to her. #she understood and accepted all my weirdness. we mostly focused on processing/talking abt my trauma and also getting me away from my abusers #but my new one just. idk. i cant tell if its my own hypervigilance/paranoia but she gives me a bad vibe.