#I wonder if Randy Random will let them get together eventually? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

classic-rock-roller · 6 years

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1. You and Kevin are trying to teach Mal how to swim. He’s nervous of the water and won’t go in with you. Kevin picks him up and says, “I got this.” He picks Mal up, and tosses him into the water. “Swim bitch!” “Kevin! What the hell?” “What, that’s how I had to learn!” How do you respond?

“Still Kevin, that’s not how you teach a kid to swim. That’s how you scar them for life.”

2. Your band is getting back on the bus after doing a meet and greet with fans. It was exhausting, but you love meet and greets. You all get onto the bus and Daryl collapses onto his bunk before saying, “Good God I hate fans. They’re the worst.” How do you and the others respond?

Me: “You realize they are the reasons we can do this right? Without fans, we wouldn’t be here.”

Bonham: “Yes Daryl, get your head out of your ass.”

Erik: “But...his head isn’t in his ass.”

Linus: “Jeez Daryl, how rude can you get. I wouldn’t want to be your fan.”

3. You and Bonham are super close friends and are known as the second generation of the Terror Twins. Lots of your fans think you’re together and/or ship you, so much so that you’re both asked about it in interviews, but separately from each other. How do you two respond respectively?

Me: “I’ve known Bonham for a very long time and she is my other half. She’s like a sister, and she’s my work wife.”

Bonham: “I’m very close with BabyCarrot. We’ve been friends for years. Together we’re the Terror Twins and apart we’re both the Micc. There’s no in between.

4. Randy was killed a couple of weeks ago in a plane crash, and it’s got Bonham in a funk. Your band has an interview scheduled, and when there the interviewer asks, “So Bonham, we heard about what happened to Randy, how do you feel about what happened?” Bonham just answers, “It should have been me, no question. He’s–sorry, he was– a better musician, a better person, and a better inspiration. He should be the one that gets to do what he loves. It should have been me.” How do the interviewer and the rest of you respond?

The interviewer would kind of regret asking.

I’d hug Bonham and whisper, “I’m so, so, so, sorry. I wish I could take this heartbreak from you.”

Linus, Daryl, and Erik would hug her too but not say anything.

5. Kevin and Randy were fucking around and long story short, now there’s a hole in your ceiling. You ask Bonham to fix it while you and Kevin are out one day. He’s worrying all day that she won’t get it done, but when you get home she’s just finishing up. “Wow Bonham, I didn’t think you could fix that.” he says. “What’d you think I was going to do, Kevin? Have some faith, jeez.” she says. How do you respond?

“Of course she was going to fix it. Faster than you would have too. You would have kept putting it off.”

6. You and Kevin and Randy are doing a road trip, and you end up in Colorado for a night. You’ve pulled off the highway to get gas when Randy says, “Hey pull over, that bar says they have live music, let’s go.” Kevin pulls off the road and into the parking lot and you all go into the tiniest bar you’ve ever seen. You get in and there’s not even a stage, there’s just an area where tables were moved and there are 3 people playing Nights in White Satin; a guy singing and playing an electric guitar, a Vietnam Veteran singing backup and playing acoustic, and a significantly younger woman on sax. You sit in and listen as they play Lodi, Country Roads, and The Green, Green Grass of Home. Kevin says, “These guys are a little ragtag,but I’m glad we stopped. Thanks, Randy.” Randy’s not listening. He’s watching them finish up Lodi and says, “I have to talk to that sax player.” After they finish Lodi, they all go to the smoking section on the porch. Kevin says, “Come on, I’m gonna go talk to them.” You all go out there, and Kevin wastes no time. “You guys sounded great, what’s your group called?” You join him, and you’re all having a great conversation. Eventually, the sax player says, “Y’all are great, but who’s Blondie over there? Come on sunshine, we don’t bite.” How does everyone respond?

I pull Randy up and go, “Oh this is Randy Rhoads. He’s a phenomenal guitarist in the band Quiet Riot.”

Kevin: “Which I’m in as well by the way. I’m the singer.”

Randy would just blush and not look the sax player in the eye, “H..hi.”

7. Bonham’s been acting differently ever since you got back from your first tour. You ask if she’s on drugs, and she just says, “Nah, man, don’t worry about it.” You take her word for it and roll with it until Randy’s over at yours and Kevin’s house one day. “I found tons of coke and acid in Bonham’s stuff and I just don’t know what to do.” You’re hurt that she lied right to your face. How do you respond and how do the three of you proceed?

“What?! We promised each other we’d never do it. Did I do something to make her want to do drugs?”

Kevin and Randy would both have to calm me down and then we’d go about the best way of approaching the subject with her.

8. You’re on your way home from your first date with those cool guys from that band QR. You and Bonham are in the back, Kevin is driving and Randy is in the passenger seat. There’s a lull in conversation before Kevin quietly says, “Do the thing.” Randy giggles and says, “Okay.” He rolls down the window, leans out, then shouts as loud as he can, “Fuck me in the ass cause I love Jesus!” He and Kevin are laughing their asses off, and Bonham’s starting to laugh out of the sheer randomness of it. How do you respond?

I give this weird look and whisper under my breath, “Ok, but what the actual fuck?” Before I’d kind of just sit there awkwardly with no idea what to do.

9. Bonham calls you one day at a ridiculously late hour, “Get here, now. We’re at 72nd and Kipling.” When you and Kevin get there, you see that someone’s keyed both Bonham’s and Randy’s cars. Randy’s bears the word fag, and Bonham’s says fag hag. How do the four of you proceed?

Me: “Why are people like this? It fucking pisses me off.”

Bonham: “Calm down, I’m pissed too but that won’t solve anything.”

Kevin: “And I don’t want to have to bail you out of jail again.”

10. You’re auditioning bass players since Jess left, and one of them comes in and is beyond awful. You tell him to leave and he comes up to the table you and Bonham are at. “Come on please, I need this gig.” He looks around for a second before grabbing your thigh. “20 bucks and I’ll make you see heaven. And you give me the gig.” How do you and Bonham respond?

Me: “While I am flattered and a little creeped out, I have a wonderful boyfriend at home who already makes me see heaven.”

Bonham: “Ew, I don’t need to hear that and I’m sorry buddy but no sexual favors will get you anywhere with us we both have boyfriends we’re happy with. So I suggest you be on your way.”

11. You and Kevin are walking on the street one day when you see a young woman wearing a Quiet Riot shirt, but it looks weird. You end up in line behind her at the crepe stand, and see that it was one that Kevin and Randy signed, and she cut it into a crop top. Kevin’s upset and says to her, “you can’t just do that!” The girl says, “I can do whatever I want, it’s just a shirt with signatures from a couple of nobodies. I got it from my dad anyway.” How do you and Kevin respond?

Me: Oh my god, I think I’m having an aneuysm.

Kevin: Hey! Randy and I aren’t nobodies!

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1) You are telling your singer that you are pregnant and tell her not to tell anyone else in the band. Daryl has overheard and says, “I will keep it a secret only if its a boy you name him Daryl. Someone has to carry on my family name.” Your singer gives him a weird look, “Daryl, your family name is Skraps.” How do you and Daryl respond?

2) You’ve met your singer’s cousin a few times and you don’t like him at all. Every time you have met him, it’s just been when he’s gone to his dad for money. One day, you come back to you and your singer’s apartment to find her screaming at her cousin about how he’s been treating her family. The next thing you know, he slaps her across the face hard enough for her to stagger and says, “Never talk to me that way again.” Your singer gets back up and glares at him with tears in her eyes. How do you respond?

3) The GNR tour is in full swing and so far it’s been good. Kevin hasn’t killed Axl yet and the bands are being civil. One night, you’re in your singer’s hometown and her sister is backstage to support you guys. Axl screams to the crowd, “Good night everyone! That’s it! Now it’s time for the sucky band!” as he walks off. You and your singer are glaring at him as he comes off and her sister is giving him the fuck you look. “Good luck,” he says to you and then turns to your singer’s sister, “Hello there sweetheart.” How do you, your singer, and her sister respond?

4) You have decided to do the collaboration album with Crue and it’s the first day there. You can tell your singer is really nervous to see Nikki but the minute he comes in he pulls her into a hug and says, “I am so, so, so sorry for what I did to you. It was a bad time I was high on drugs and thought it was a good idea. I’m clean now and ok. I just wanted to apologize to you, Bonham, and Kevin.” How do you, your singer, and Kevin respond?

5) Randy and Kevin are over at you and your singer’s apartment. You have a cat named Nikki and he’s having his “crazy time” at the moment. Randy and Kevin can hear it and go, “What is that?” Your singer looks up and goes, “Oh that’s Nikki having his crazy time.” Kevin looks offended and goes, “What?! You didn’t name your cat after me but Nikki Sixx instead!” How do you, your singer, and Randy respond?

6) Your sleeping in bed one night when you feel something around your neck. You wake up to feel Randy’s hands around your neck and he’s choking you. He’s doing it in his sleep and you scream at him, “Randy! Randy, wake up!” He does and immediately lets you go, “Oh my god! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He puts his head in his hands before saying, “I could have seriously hurt you and the baby.” How do you respond?

7) During your GNR tour, you have Mal, Will, and Jeremy backstage one night. They all have earmuffs on to protect their hearing. Axl comes offstage while you and your singer are near the boys playpen talking. Axl picks up your singer’s son, Mal, and says, “Hello Tiny Satan.” He then goes to you two, “What’s so appealing about a baby? All they do is eat, sleep, and shit.” He then pretends to drop Mal. How do you and your singer respond?

8) One day, your singer wakes up super early and comes out into the living room where you, Kevin, and Randy are. She’s extremely chipper and when Randy asks, “Why are you so chipper at 7:30 in the morning?” She gets this huge grin and screams at the top of her lungs, “SUNDAY ADVENTURE!” Before running back to her room to get changed. How do you, Randy, and Kevin respond?

9) Your tour with GNR has landed in your hometown and you’re walking out of the arena. There are people lined up on either side to get your autographs and screaming at your singer because you’re technically their “home band.” When GNR comes out, someone lobs a beer bottle at Axl and screams, “That’s for dissing our home band.” How do you, Randy, Kevin, and your singer respond?

10) You and your singer are swimming with your kids. Mal, Will, and Jeremy know how to swim but your singer’s son Edward doesn’t. He’s on a shallow ledge in her uncle’s pool that drops off to three feet. At one point you hear Will scream, “Eddie!” And your singer goes and plucks him out from the water. He fell in but wasn’t in for too long. She takes him out to make sure he’s ok and her great aunt goes, “Oh he’s fine. That’s how all my kids learned how to swim.” How do you and your singer respond?

11) You, your singer, Kevin, and Randy go back to your singer’s hometown for Musikfest and bring all the kids along. You’re having a good time in the kids’ section when Kevin says, “This is still fun, but it’s less fun with kids. You can’t get drunk.” Your singer goes, “We can always drop the kids off at my parents place and come back. They’d love to watch the kids.” How do you and Randy respond and what happens after you go back without the kids?

@osbournebemydaddy your move Bonham love

#tag game #tag war

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anxiety-trademark · 3 years

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The week in review:

Raw 10/26 NXT 10/28 NXT UK 10/29 Smackdown 10/30

Raw:

Wonder what 19/11 means.

...Arsenic??... What in the-- WHY IS SHE SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS.

Boy y’all really nailed home how agonizing his suffering was before he died. My head hurts, this show is demented.

My god there are legitimately 2 of these psychopaths now.

wwe production should give Alexa’s voice a reverb effect whenever she says “let him in”

Girl is actually laughing hysterically while Bray ruthlessly murders Rambling Rabbit. Goodbye.

This act works so much better as a duo, Alexa was right in requesting to work with Bray.

kekekek Shayna makes a list of women she wants on her Survivor Series team; Nia snags the list and sees she’s not on it. Whose idea was this tag team? Need to know who I’m sending a fruit basket to.

Appreciate Mandy clarifying that Otis and her are still close, but I don’t understand why wwe separated them.

What is with everyone wearing black??

Lmfao this man really tried giving his rose to Shayna SIR PLZ. He had a better chance giving it to Sonya lesbireal.

Dana actually having a decent speaking segment. Half point.

“I feel like this is a joke. Is this like punk’d? Are we-- are we getting punk’d?” Nia came to entertain tonight.

Why can’t wwe just implement GMs again? Love Adam Pearce but he’s literally just playing the role of GM. Just keep them in the background with the mere purpose of cohesion. Good example: Paige. Bad example: Corbin.

This actually makes sense. You have the tag champs automatically being added, cuz duh, and the tag team who are undefeated since forming and moving to Raw. So have the 5th team member fight for the spot. I don’t hate that at all. At least there’s logic being applied.

I will never not hate Peyton’s theme. Yikes.

WHAT THE FUCK IS NIKKI CROSS’ NEW THEME LMFAO why are we throwing some bland, midwest country rock track with such a slow tempo at her??!? oof rip. Sucks for Nikki that Alexa wanted something more for her career but one could not possibly blame her, so.

ahahahaha I just noticed Nia took Byron’s seat. She’s so fucking funny.

Look if y’all are gonna do the move where someone lifts you over the top rope to set you on the apron, FUCKING JUMP FOR THEM. They’re not supposed to dead lift you.

Nice kick to Nikki by Lana; sloppy vault over the top rope. It’s kay, she isn’t even the worst one in this match lesbihonest.

Lacey gets Nikki in position for a suplex off the top rope, and Peyton - as quick as can be - jumps in to throw Lacey in a German suplex. That was smooth with very minimal set up. Points.

So Lana steals the win by pinning Nikki and the camera pans to all 4 team members looking absolutely shook. I am dying.

Interesting to see them focus on Peyton’s disappointment.

aaaaand rip Lana for the 6th time.

Such a jarring remix of Alexa’s song.

I know y’all are super weird and choose to sexualize/fetishize everything that you don’t understand, but I appreciate Alexa’s new persona. It’s like Firefly Funhouse characters meets Disney themed characters (which is core to Alexa) meets Harley Quinn. It’s a fitting cosplay with fitting demeanors. So if y’all could quit talking about ageplay like a bunch of weirdos, that’d be great.

Alexa and I are the same age and tbh I’m kind of shook on her behalf to see her share these segments and storylines with Randy Orton. Like I was a kid watching his feud with triple h. We were mere preadolescent kids lol. Good for her.

I like that she’s immune to Fiend’s name now that she’s fully embraced him become brainwashed.

Omg she’s just sitting on the turnbuckle laughing at them.

So Fiend is just a looming threat to Orton rn? Just letting Orton know that eventually he’ll have to answer for the fire he started all those years ago? I wasn’t here for Bray’s run back then so I’m kind of trying to piece this all together. Anyway fine segment. I don’t much care about Drew vs Orton but I appreciate Orton selling the intensity of the Fiend. He’s a good worker.

Highlight: Completely split between Nia being hilarious & Alexa being creepy as hell

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NXT:

Well at least they’re keeping Ember backstage for her promos. That’s an improvement.

True, Dakota as a babyface was awful. Not sorry. Her character consisted of “scared” and “sad”... That’s it.

Big fan of the set for nxt tonight.

It’s so rare to see someone handle Rhea, what a nice dynamic.

These 2 are best friends irl, aren’t they? Enjoyable to watch them go punch for punch back and forth. If nothing else, they’re definitely selling that they’re pretty evenly built.

True though, Rhea does have her athleticism going for her. Rhea’s kicks are a beautiful thing to see. Soccer player ftw.

Really like this match. It’s cool to see the range of different matches Rhea can have. It’s not often you see her in an underdog type of role, and you wouldn’t think she could thrive as one, but it works for her just the same as being a dominant powerhouse. Shouldn’t be surprised though, her vs Charlotte at wm was a banger, and Charlotte was definitely the dominant force in that match.

Commentators said Rhea’s inverted cloverleaf has tapped out “many” superstars in nxt, and I just wanna know who? Cuz I have zero recollection of such.

Good showing for Raquel. Gave zero shits about her prior to this. She’s always just been the Diesel to Dakota’s Shawn Michaels.

GREAT counter by Rhea from the one armed powerbomb into nearly a headscissors takedown.

This match is very well paced.

Oh yes, that’s the type of match that easily could’ve gone longer and left me wanting more, which is a hell of a compliment. I underestimated how good this would be.

Wow they’re having Poppy rob us of Io’s theme song? For shame.

So how does the wheel actually work? Do they really not get a chance to plan out their stip matches? That’s weird. I love it, but it’s weird. Is it rigged? It’s gotta be rigged, right?

Love the black and orange themed ladders.

lmao Candice’s reaction to the bag of body parts. Fantastic.

Did Candice hit Io in the face with a laptop?? Honestly, points.

Lol chalk outlines on the tables. The theme is great.

Oh man, a moonsault straight onto chairs. rip Io’s midsection.

Wicked suplex onto the sitting chair, oof. Looked like Io clipped that.

Meteora into a steel ladder, which then fell on Io. She taking a beating lol.

Commentators mentioning Johnny counter: 3

Kinda cool spot twisting Candice’s ankle in a chair. Of course, it’s not like Candice sold the damaged ankle anyway, so.

Swinging neckbreaker through the tables - a spot that would’ve been great if the commentators had actually sold it and there was a real crowd.

idk who the hell is helping Candice, but I think it’s just fantastic that Shotzi came in to stop them.

“LeRae can’t reach,” as if this match wouldn’t have been over if she would’ve just climbed up one single ring.

Welp Candice is dead now. Fell off the top of the ladder through another ladder. Nasty landing. rip.

Brutal match, but it still wasn’t better than their first match. At least Candice did work and this wasn’t boring unlike their last takeover match. Points for the damage they caused to their bodies, eesh.

Highlight: Rhea vs Raquel

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NXT UK:

Oh nice UK added some monitors. Good for them, even if the stream quality is kinda poor.

I like this match up. Dani Luna is an athletic powerhouse, and Valkyrie is an athletic technician. This is more the type of quality match that I’d expect on the MR - minus the storytelling/performance aspect, but that’s okay.

Really appreciate Luna’s strength for how small she seems.

Valkyrie is fun to watch. Her arm drag takedowns and counters are entertaining.

Damn Valkyrie can do a springboard cross body and a pele kick as well? What an intriguing skillset she has.

Holy shit that snap German suplex by Dani was effortlessly CLEAN.

I’m not big on Dani’s look tbh. I feel like she’d be more of a standout if her hair was a different color. I don’t think blue works for her, personally.

An interesting finisher by Valkyrie... I don’t hate it. I’m all for the result, though. Good show of respect between both competitors. Wouldn’t mind watching them again in the future.

Current day has KLR still as champion (#foreverchampion) but I’m guessing they’re really gonna have Piper be the one to inevitably end it. Should be Valkyrie as far as I’m concerned. Even if she’s trash on the mic - not saying she is cuz I have no idea - she’s super entertaining to watch.

Highlight: Dani Luna vs Valkyrie

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Smackdown:

New year, same old Nattie trying to be the Survivor Series captain.

Billie Kay is entertaining but wbk.

Bianca, ma’am, you JUST started going here. Calm down.

“Bianca nobody really cares, or knows, what EST means, it’s totally irrelevant. I’m the boat.” lmao I genuinely love Nattie, not sorry.

SHE CLAPPED AT HER goodbye. Give me a Bianca vs Nattie match, entertain me plz.

Ah a triple threat? That’s fine I suppose, what the hell.

Why does wwe keep depriving me of Bianca’s entrance? I hate this company.

Billie Kay: *jumps in the ring to catch Bianca in a random pinfall; fails; proceeds to leave the ring once more*

Billie Kay really is a special level of awful, but at least she has character work going for her.

Good cover by Bianca to set up the basement dropkick by Nattie to break up the pin.

Boy Bianca sure did take her time breaking up that sharpshooter. You got both Nattie and Billie Kay screaming and she’s in lala land lmao.

I will genuinely cry if they ever change Bianca’s music, I stg. Good for her btw. Appropriate result.

What’s the purpose of the polaroid camera?

Soo did they basically give Carmella the layout of Sasha’s gimmick while turning Sasha babyface? Is that what’s going on? What rules is Carmella making? What shots is she calling? Why does this girl have champagne? You know who would rock the “fuck y’all I’m rich, look at my Gucci and diamonds” gimmick? The Ice Queen, Charlotte Flair.

What an adorably tiny cross.

Carmella you’re not really known for winning, but alright.

Hate this music btw.

Lol this fucking chair. Okay.

“Long time rivalry renewed” didn’t Asuka and Sasha have a minor feud a mere 5 months ago? That lasted one month?? Is that considered long time now???

Sasha’s makeup is off key ngl. I hate that outfit as well.

Yes, yes she was your best friend and that was really sad, but you’re not saying anything different than you have before. And you’re STILL not likeable. But hey, I’m happy for you all the same, now be as entertaining as Bayley plz.

“The whole world knows that you can win a championship, but even you know that you can’t hang onto one. Unlike me.” pppffffttttt she’s not wrong.

Who do I gotta pay to permanently separate you 2? hiac was great, let’s end the debacle now plz.

“You made me sign that hiac contract under duress,” THANK YOU BAYLEY see someone knows their legal jargon.

Peep that gnarly bruise on Bayley’s arm. Whew.

She’s so annoying lmao.

“Backstabbing bitches never win,” hi, Sasha? Longest reigning Raw women’s champion, first ever wm main eventer, first ever women’s dual world champion, face of the company, cover of espn and 2k20 Becky Lynch just called; said that is absolutely not true.

Highlight: Bianca, Billie Kay & Natalya backstage segment

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*Raw shined the brightest this week, but I have to shout out NXT as well for their 2 matches, particularly Rhea vs Raquel.

#wwe #issa review #feel free to ignore these #cuz who tf cares lesbihonest #today's props goes to:#rhea ripley

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tessatechaitea · 5 years

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Black Condor #2

The Sky Pirate is definitely an incel.

I don't want to shit on incels because people who can't get laid aren't the only jerks who turn into monsters when they can't get their way. I also don't want to make it seem like not getting laid is the worst thing that can happen to a person but have you ever not gotten laid when you really, really wanted to fuck? It's the worst! Now think about not being able to get laid for thirty to forty years. Do you think you're going to give one shit about climate change?! Of course not! That's why Sky Pirate is carbon emitting all over the fucking place on the cover! Sky Pirate doesn't need Black Condor to punch him in the face; he needs him to suck his balls. On the other hand, getting laid isn't that great, I bet.

I don't know why the guy isn't coming in his pants too.

Back in 1992, we didn't have incels. We just had guys who understood they were never going to get laid so they memorized all the stats of Fiend Folio monsters no Dungeon Master would ever use, like the achaierai or the umpleby or the tween or the snyad or the twill or the tabaxi or the qullan or the mantari or the gryph. Those are actual monsters but I probably could have just made up a bunch of nonsense words and nobody would have fucking noticed. Fiend Folio had a lot of shitty monsters. You know who wouldn't know that? Somebody who was getting laid in 1992! Something else somebody getting laid in 1992 wouldn't understand? Jerking off to the caryatid column!

I had to steal this image from the Internet because I've packed away all of my D&D manuals.

We really need legalized prostitution in this country. Also, we need to remove any negative stigma for going to a prostitute. Also we need male prostitutes that are good at sex so that women don't have to hook up with random guys who are probably terrible at sex when they want to bust whatever the female version of nuts are. Inside nuts? It's got to be tough being an incel in that even if you think you might finally get the chance to get laid, you know you're going to be awful at it and probably ruin a second chance of getting laid. Because who wants to fuck a guy whose underwear looks like the aftermath of a visit from your friendly neighborhood Spider-man when you go to pull his dick out? True story (I have to preface this story that way so that people actually think it's true even though they should realize I'm an unreliable narrator): when I finally met a woman who wanted desperately to fuck me, I obviously wasn't going to be any good at sex. I had learned to jerk off quickly in the quiet moments nobody was in the house (often to the scene in Return of the Living Dead (on VHS tape) when the punk girl dances naked on the crypt). So when this lovely and accommodating woman pulled my cock out and began kissing and sucking it, I wanted to explode immediately. But I knew I couldn't do that! I had to hold out! So I held out for like ten or fifteen seconds and, in my head, I thought, "That's good enough, right?!" Then I blew my load in her face and she was all, "Whoa. Um. Hey. What the fuck?" Actually, she wanted to fuck me so badly that she didn't care that I was almost certainly going to prematurely ejaculate every time we fucked until I finally decided I wanted to spend more time replaying Ultima IV than fucking poorly. Our sex actually did get better over time (and by "our," I obviously mean "my") but that was only because I'd come in her almost immediately and then, through pure will force rivaling that of Hal Jordan himself, I would just get hard again while trying not to let my flaccid member slip out of her. Luckily she could orgasm through penetration only because just imagine how bad I was at oral sex too! Um, that wasn't really a true story! I just have a great imagination! But then, you knew that because of all the times I mentioned being a virgin. Which was totally a lie too! I've been laid lots! And I was always great at it. Black Condor's grandfather can't get over his grandson not wanting to be a part of his old man secret society so he's sending an army of "shock troopers" out to capture him.

Has nobody told him about airplanes?

I can't stop staring at the look of pure joy on the woman's face in the panel where Black Condor is rescuing the campers. I'm actually fucking jealous of a fictional character in a drawing because how the fuck does she get to be so fucking happy?! Nearly the entire first half of this issue is dedicated to the origin of The Sky Pirate. My guess that he's an incel wasn't too far off the mark. He was a nerdy college kid working in hypersonic flight who desperately wanted to be part of the free love movement. He was eventually let in on the condition that he do all the work and earn them all the money, like how Brian was only allowed to be part of The Breakfast Club if he wrote everybody else's essays while they all hooked up. In the end, he made them all rich while he was a fugitive from the government. They did the thing all of the fucking asshole Boomers did: they gave up their ideals and convictions for wealth beyond measure at the expense of everybody else. So, twenty years later, he's returned to destroy them.

So this guy's a hero! Why is Black Condor trying to stop him on the cover?!

Black Condor is a good guy so I bet he winds up teaming up with Sky Pirate after the initial Marvel misunderstanding. I'm almost positive he does because I purchased the third issue and there's no way I would have kept reading this series if my president The Sky Pirate was beaten and tossed in jail. Even as a randy twenty-one year old spending nearly every night of the week pretending I was a grey elf named Paladine Greystoke, I was completely sympathetic to the underdogs of our fucked up capitalist society. Sky Pirate plans on stealing as much money from The Merry Men (what the asshole Boomers called themselves because they're so unimaginative they had to steal Kesey's groups' name) as he can. But to do so, he needs to use his hypersonic weapons. Black Condor's new senses are so powerful that every time Sky Pirate uses one of his gadgets, Black Condor is overwhelmed by pain. That must be why he needs to beat the shit out of Sky Pirate. It's less about justice and more about getting him to shut the fuck up. I get it! I once had a neighbor who hung up industrial sized wind chimes outside my bedroom window. And every time I snuck over to take them down, the assholes would just put them back up. They're lucky I didn't go Black Condor all over their asses and swoop in with a flurry of uppercuts! Instead I just cut out off the clapper and made the chimes impotent. Black Condor shows up and asks Sky Pirate what he's doing. Sky Pirate is all, "Fuck you. I don't have to answer to you, you nipple exposing weirdo!" And then he flies off. But Black Condor won't let it drop, albeit reluctantly! He flies after him because he's a nosy jerk. Can't he just let it drop? The noise only happened the one time. I get how terrible noises can be; I'm pretty sensitive to a lot of sounds myself (fuck every guy with an acoustic guitar, by the way). But maybe wait to see if it happens again before really confronting this guy. Also, I'm sure he has a reason for blowing a hole in a building! He told Black Condor it was personal business and it's not like Black Condor has been deputized by anybody except maybe Park Ranger Ned. I'm totally on Sky Pirate's side right now! Judging by the cover of Issue #3, Sky Pirate is going to blast Black Condor with more hypersonics and Black Condor is going to plunge into the river in a scary cliffhanger where the reader thinks Black Condor may have drowned.

Okay, I'm torn. I like Sky Pirates revenge on capitalistic Boomer shitheads. But I also empathize with Black Conder's sensitivity to noise!

Since this issue is definitely going to end how I predicted since, as I said, I'm looking at the cover of Issue #3 right now where Black Condor is emerging from the river, I bet Issue #3 sees Sky Pirate and Black Condor quickly finding common ground and working together to defeat the Merry Men. Also, I hope Sky Pirate becomes an occasional Black Condor teammate. Maybe he'll take up residence with Ned and Eileen in the Pine Barrens! And then the issue ends with Black Condor plummeting into the river. But it also ends with possibly my favorite "Next Issue Blurb" of all time!

No wonder I bought issue #3! I had to see if the sun imploded! Spoiler alert: it didn't.

Black Condor #2 Rating: A-! Holy shit! A comic book with a better than average passing grade! I must really be feeling charitable seeing as how it's my 48th birthday. Yes, that's right, assholes. I'm fucking old! But I'm still cool, right? And totally sexually active, like a mythic beast! Oh, before I go, here's the back cover because, yeesh. Put on some make-up, dudes.

I loved my Grandmother with all my heart. She was possibly the most perfect human being to ever walk this planet. She was Catholic but I'm fairly certain she practiced birth control based on the differences in age of her two (only two!) children. Her wedding picture was of her in a beautiful non-wedding dress and my grandfather in a suit standing on some spiral steps at the courthouse (not a church! She also had a church wedding photograph but mostly due to the pressure of social politics and religion (I like to believe, anyway!)). She distanced herself from the Catholic church because of the way church members treated and talked terribly about Jewish people. She was the greatest. But the only time she ever disappointed me was when Gene Simmons was on Donahue and she said, "My, that's a handsome man!"

#Black Condor #Brian Augustyn #Rags Morales #DC #DC Comics #Sky Pirate

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thebibliomancer · 7 years

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100 Days of Comics! 048/100: DP7: Displaced Paranormals #25 (1988)

Today’s selection from the mysterious enigmatic box of 100 random comics brings a story from Marvel’s New Universe.

So the New Universe. For Marvel’s 25th anniversary, Jim Shooter proposed ending the Marvel Universe. And then restarting it but updated to the present era. This was rejected because it would be like shooting the golden goose.

So Shooter instead proposed creating a new universe, a brand new range of IP, which would be set in a more realistic, modern universe where crazy comic book stuff only started happening recently.

This got approved but around the same time, Marvel’s owners Cadence Industries threatened to sell off Marvel, which forced Marvel to cut costs and increase revenue. Shooter’s budget for the New Universe was cut to the bone and instead of top creators, Shooter had to use people new to the industry or who couldn’t get work otherwise. Shooter himself couldn’t devote as much time as he wanted to the line because of intracompany politics that eventually led him to leave his editor-in-chief position.

Damn. I know that a lot of people in the industry hate Jim Shooter but between this and Valiant Comics, it sometimes seems like Jim Shooter can’t catch a break.

ANYWAY. That’s the out of universe origin. Here’s the in-universe origin.

It began with the White Event, a mysterious astronomical phenomenon which bombarded the entire earth with unknown energies two summers past. In two persons out of every million, this energy triggered largely benign body-wide mutations resulting in paranormal forms and abilities. Few people were aware of the ramifications of the White Event. Its mutagenic energies affected people at vastly different rates so that it took anywhere from days to months to years before paranormality would manifest itself in a specific person. Consequently, the general public was unaware that paranormals walked among them for over a year.

Then came the Black Event, the total disintegration of the city of Pittsburgh through the misuse of the greatest paranormal power of all. Although no one knows who is responsible for the atrocity, it is widely believed among high government intelligence circles to be the work of a foreign paranormal. In the wake of the disaster, the president reinstated the draft in an effort to not only mobilize a standing army, but also to locate the nation’s paranormals so that they could be forged into an elite fighting force. But the army is not the only government agency interested in paranormals. The Central Intelligence Agency, among others, has its own paranormal recruitment program. This program is aimed primarily toward female paranormals who are not yet eligible for the draft.

This is the saga of seven of the many paranormals caught up in a world gone mad... Lenore Fenzl, Merriam Sorensen, Charlotte Beck, Stephanie Harrington, and Jenny Swensen, the first five recruits of the C.I.A.’s special paranormal task force... and Dave Landers and Randy O’Brien, two members of the U.S. Army’s first paranormal platoon...

And hey! This issue was written by Mark Gruenwald! Famous for his run on Captain America, the Squadron Supreme, Quasar, and this book. Original owner of the Captain America shield now owned by Stephen Colbert. Apparently the Patron Saint of Marveldom. And memetically killed by a really bad piece of Rob Liefeld art.

So we start off with some paranormal children shoplifting some groceries in Wisconsin. They are runaways from the Clinic of Paranormal Research and as they try to escape from the police, they accidentally drive through the guardrail and tumble down the incline.

Meanwhile: Dr. Randy O’Brien doing surgery on Dave Landers at Major General Truscott, Jr. Memories Hospital in Georgia. For some reason, Dave attempted to commit suicide while in solitary confinement. Impaled himself on a metal spike.

And Dr. O’Brien is wondering why. What happened to Dave during his special powers training in the two months they were separated? And did O’Brien let him down in some way? O’Brien doesn’t want to blame himself but if he hadn’t lost his powers, he would have been in the same training with Dave.

O’Brien’s ‘parability’ was the ability to summon five Antibodies from within his own body, a starscapey version of himself that can fly, become intangible, and transfer memories through physical contact. Each of the Antibodies had a slightly different personality and O’Brien had varied amount of control over them.

But he has lost that power. Just as he started boot camp, he stopped being able to summon Antibodies. And at first he thought he’d be happy to be normal again but now he just feels empty.

But a nurse cuts his musings short. Colonel McInery wants the entire medical staff assembled in the basement at once for an urgent matter.

Meanwhile, in Wisconsin. The ambulance has arrived at the car crash and dang its a mess. We don’t see most of it but one of the kids went through the windshield (wear your seatbelts, boys and girls) and another is missing an unspecified piece of anatomy.

But while one of the kids, Evan something, is strapped to a gurney and the EMTs are distracted, the Shadowman comes out of him. We saw him help out with the shoplifting earlier. And he works very much like an Antibody for reasons. During the crash, he came out and covered Evan to protect him. Now, he surrounds Evan and flies off with him thinking of Dr. O’Brien, leaving the EMTs confused about what that was.

Meanwhile, back at the Georgia hospital basement, Colonel McInery shows the medical staff their new patient. The Famileech.

It (they?) are a twisted horrific amalgamation. The Robinson family was just outside Pittsburgh last December right before the Black Event. When it happened, their car was swept over the lip of the Pitt and slide all the way down the crater wall to the bottom where they were exposed to the mutagenic sludge that is the liquefied remains of Pittsburgh.

Yeah.

Somehow, their exposure to the Pitt-Juice caused the whole family to bond together on the cellular level. Also, the Famileech eats people. Even now its banging on the door shouting “HUNNNNNGRY! Need food! Want your bodies...”

Yeah.

With new and improved pressure suits to protect them from absorption (the previous model didn’t help Lieutenant Lancaster though) and piping halothane into the Famileech’s room to knock it out, the medical staff can go in to take a tissue sample for a biopsy and take measurements and any vital signs.

Dawn the next day, the Shadowman arrives at the hospital. Yup. He flew all night from Wisconsin to Georgia. He flies through the window as Dr. O’Brien is examining Dave Landers and pulls Evan out of himself.

The Shadowman gestures for O’Brien to examine Evan and then touches him to share memories of his time with Evan and the car accident.

And O’Brien realizes that this Shadowman is actually his renegade Antibody!

I said he had varied amounts of control over his Antibodies, right? Well this one strangled one of the clinic’s therapists to death. The man was a dangerous psychopath but realizing that his Antibodies could become killers, O’Brien disowned the Antibody, refused to allow him access to his host-body.

He had assumed that without access to him, the Antibody had withered up and died. He didn’t contemplate that another human being could sustain the Antibodies.

O’Brien finishes examining Evan. The kid has head trauma but his vital signs look good.

But before he can have it out with the Shadowman, an alarm goes off. Rushing out into the hallway with the Shadowman tagging along, O’Brien sees that the Famileech has somehow gotten out and is eating Nurse Ahrens.

The Shadowman flies away, leaving O’Brien to try to divert the Famileech from the wing Dave and Evan are in by getting it to chase him instead. He dead ends at a fire door that won’t open, defeating the entire point of being a fire door.

But then the Shadowman comes back to save him. It had only flown off to forehead kiss Evan goodbye.

The Shadowman envelopes O’Brien and tries to fly him over the Famileech but either O’Brien is too heavy or the Shadowman is too weak after flying cross-country all night.

So instead he tackles and tries to punch out the Famileech and gets torn apart for his troubles.

With the Shadowman disintegrating, the Famileech comes for O’Brien. The doctor prays to god not to let him die like this, trapped, frightened and alone.

And bam. O’Brien manages to summon his four Antibodies. But he realizes that individually they’re no match for the Famileech. But... the Shadowman showed him that one of his Antibodies could envelope his body like armor. So what if he did that with all four?

Luckily, they’re cooperate and O’Brien is protected by four layers of Antibodies and wields their combined strength. Nicely solving his issue with his powers where he felt that he wasn’t really directly in control.

x4 Antibodied O’Brien punches the Famileech back into its cell with a lot of wet sounding sound effects like SPLOOSH and SPLOK and barricades the door.

After, the four Antibodies peel off and fly back inside him, needing to recharge after that display.

And O’Brien is left thinking that the renegade Antibody which he disowned has given him a new lease on life by showing him there were possibilities with his powers that he would never have tried!

Eesh, this is getting long. And there’s a backup story. Starring THE ESPEOPLE called Night of the Mask.

Basically a bunch of dorky paranormal draft dodgers are sitting around playing probably-DnD in the guise of Psi-Lord, Purple Veil, Supernatural, the Apparition, Trancer, and Phantom Bullet when Walter (Psi-Lord) faints and Nightmask appears.

Danny/the Apparition immediately uses his illusion powers to cloak the ESPeople as their probably-DnD characters. They demand that Nightmask state name and business but since Nightmask’s powers are all about entering dreams, he thinks this is someone’s dream and decides to flee the ESPeople until he can figure out what brand of dream logic this particular dream is working on.

But the ESPeople manage to pin him down with their assorted cool powers (Phantom Bullet shoots phantom bullets from his fingers, Supernatural controls natural forces, Apparition as I said before does illusions, and Trancer and Psi-Lord seem to be psychics. Not sure if there’s a difference in their powers).

Trancer reads Nightmask’s mind and realizes that Nightmask thinks this is a dream. Psi-Lord comes to and erases Nightmask’s memories of this encounter (the ESPeople are draft dodgers after all and Nightmask has already been drafted).

Psi-Lord then wonders aloud whether the ESPeople should stop hiding out and maybe get involved to help the world before everything falls apart. The others just say “Nah.”

And the issue ends with a confused Nightmask wandering down the road toward his next adventure in Justice #25.

So for my first exposure to the New Universe, it was pretty good. Shame that the New Universe experiment ultimately failed. Some elements eventually made their way to the mainstream Marvel universe, like Starbrand and Nightmask and a new White Event.

#100 Days of Comics!#DP7 #Displaced Paranormals #Shadowman #Nightmask #ESPeople #New Universe

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emm-doubleyou · 7 years

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BONES 12x02 Recap: The Brain in the Bot

With the mystery of The Puppeteer gearing towards a resolution at the end of last week, the second episode of the season was back to the typical Bones style of storytelling. But there was mention of Zack, just not prominently sprinkled throughout the episode. No hour of this show is truly stand alone. Every episode builds on the previous. And every episode illustrates the profoundly remarkable development of these characters.

The opening scene depicts a “traditional” body find at the Virginia Regional Dog Show. I put traditional in quotes, as there is usually nothing traditional about body finds. Two canine participants escape from their owners, as I suspect their olfactory receptors sensed a rather potent set of human remains. How could they resist? The dog owners are horrified. And I presume there is not enough time to visit a groomer before the competition. I absolutely love dogs, but I will never understand show dog grooming trends. That poor poodle…

Have I mentioned that car scenes are among my very favorite? I will undoubtedly be repetitious here by saying that I will never get enough of car scenes featuring Booth and Brennan. And the two of them had some really wonderful ones in this episode. Booth and Brennan are in the car heading to the crime scene near the dog show. Booth calls Brennan “incredible” for already putting together such a robust case file without having ID’d the body. But these are not case files. They are files she has pulled from the archives. Given Zack’s recent disclosures, she has begun reexamining the evidence from the lobbyist case. Booth is proud of her, and assures his wife that she is doing the right thing. In true Brennan fashion, she responds “I am simply looking for the truth.” But so far, the evidence is inconclusive. Booth comments on the volume of files she has assembled for the case. But the other files are actually for Brennan’s “surprise party.” I’m about as confused as Booth at this point. “Bones, you do know you’re not supposed to plan your own surprise party.” When has Brennan ever been conventional? Okay there have been a few instances in her history. But in this case, I shouldn’t have been at all surprised that she would plan her own party. “The traditional custom is illogical. Being startled is unpleasant, while engineering a surprise for others is proven to be quite pleasurable.” She is truly a gem. Also, I actually agree with her. Though, birthdays have never been my favorite thing. Moving on.

Booth really just wants to know what Brennan wants for her birthday. Even before she answers this question, I predicted the answer. Brennan has never been interested in presents, at least not in the traditional sense. She has treasured gifts given to her by Booth in the past. And this is because they meant something more. They were not particularly valuable in the monetary sense. But the thought and intention behind the gifts is what ultimately rendered them irreplaceable- Jasper and Brainy Smurf certainly could not have cost more than a few dollars. Though Booth has surprised Brennan with a few more conventional gifts in the past, including the lingerie and the necklace. But what do you get someone who has everything and wants nothing? Booth would eventually figure it out. But not just yet. Brennan lets Booth know that her party has a “strict no-gift policy.” But it’s a milestone birthday, and Booth cannot just let it pass without getting her something special. She assures Booth that she has everything she needs. And I believe that. Because she once said she wouldn’t travel to any other moment in time. And because she also realized she did not need a bucket list. She’s genuinely happy. She loves her family and her life. And while she wishes the lives of herself and her family were threatened a bit less, it’s a life she would not trade for anything. I did enjoy how Booth wanted to get her a “chunky stone necklace.” He knows her taste, for sure. He brainstorms other types of gifts he could give her. He throws around the idea of going to a concert. “The Tuvan Throat Singers already passed through town last month.” “Not quite the concert I was thinking of, Bones.” I love them. Could you imagine these two at a concert together? I’m going to pause here and think about that.

At the crime scene, Hodgins seems to be having a good time scraping evidence off the poodle. The dog’s owner is not quite as jovial. She begs Hodgins to be careful with the dog’s fur. Cam and Brennan examine the body, and Brennan determines the victim is a male in his 40s. Cam finds it strange that there is a piece of plastic fused to the victim’s wrist, but no evidence of burnt tissue. “Huh...almost as mysterious as Dr. B’s birthday party.” Cam wants a hint on the dress code for Brennan’s surprise party. “Yes, wearing clothes would be advisable.” Knowing what I know now, Brennan really kept this secret well. Brennan’s acting has certainly improved. She gives Cam a sly smile after that statement, which affects me more than it should. Because Brennan is teasing Cam. And there was a time when she was 100% no-nonsense at a crime scene. Actually, both of them were. It’s always the little things for me. Booth comes back to the scene, as he has found a pipe on the trail. Hodgins asks for any leftover marijuana, and Booth shoots him a perplexed look. But Hodgins only wants to take it back to the lab for a forensic workup. Meanwhile, the poodle’s owner is growing more impatient by the second. She is panicking about the blood fused to her dog’s coat. Brennan instructs the woman to be patient, and Booth tells her they are trying to solve a murder before dismissing her completely. But she’s still worked up. And promises “hell to pay” if the blood turns her dog’s coat pink. Hodgins is fed up too, and attempts a quicker approach to gathering the evidence off the dog- shaving the off. However the owner was not going to let him butcher her dog’s coat. She sprints down the hill and tries to pry the electric razor from Hodgins’ hands. And poor Hodgins accidentally shaves off one eyebrow. He asks if it’s as bad as he thinks it is, and his colleagues just stare at him in wonderment. Yes, Hodgins. It’s not great.

On the platform, Brennan observes evidence of post-mortem blunt force trauma and fractures to the legs. Angela receives a call from an unknown number and chooses to ignore it. Brennan posits that the body could have sustained such intense trauma after death by being dragged. Daisy takes this moment to ask Brennan if she would serve as her reference for a position at the NFL- NOT to be confused with the National Football League. Now that Daisy has finally completed her doctorate, she has applied for a job at the National Forensic Lab. Brennan agrees to be a reference, but advises “Dr. Wick” not to get her hopes up. “In light of your young age, landing a job of that status would be a long-shot at best.” Angela points out that Brennan got her job at the Jeffersonian when she was still in her 20s. Actually, if my math is correct, Brennan was in her early 20s when she first came to the Jeffersonian. “Yes. But that was clearly an exceptional circumstance.” She really is just telling the truth. And obviously Brennan believes Daisy is an exceptional intern as well- Again, based on what we know now about the ending. At that moment, Angela ignores yet another call. I wouldn’t point this out, except it becomes more relevant in a few scenes. The unknown number has now called Angela three times at this point. That’s about when I would block a number, but I suppose it’s a good thing she did not.

Hodgins ascends the platform and is ready to share that he pulled prints from the pipe found at the scene. But the ladies on the platform cannot look at him without laughing. Poor Hodgins. “You’re...asymmetrical.” Apparently Angela told Hodgins that his missing eyebrow was barely noticeable, which makes me love the two of them even more. Hodgins attempts to continue explaining his findings, but the rest of the team cannot hold it together- especially Cam and Brennan. Long story short, the person smoking the pipe in the woods was likely there when the victim was killed. And I can hear Brennan’s laughing still echoing off the walls. Bless, Emily.

Aubrey corners a man stumbling down the street named Randy Stringer. He claims he did not call an Uber. But Aubrey assures him he’s not Uber. Randy was in the woods the night the victim was killed, and the pipe found near the crime scene belonged to him. Randy was arrested twice for selling LSD and once for assault with a deadly weapon. He denies selling drugs, but he does sell sausages? All he witnessed that night in the woods was “a dude” walking around with a flashlight. He attempted to explain when and where he saw said “dude.” And FOX got a nice Sunday night Animation Domination shout out. Randy asks why he’s being questioned, and Aubrey informs him about the body dump. Randy then spouts off some nonsense about Mother Earth. This man just seemed far too random to be completely innocent in all this. And Aubrey looks so done.

Brennan enters Angela’s office to check her progress on the facial reconstruction. But this case did not require any reconstruction. The victim could be identified by the piece of metal on the his wrist. It was a “skin mounted bioelectronic fitness monitor.” Hodgins chimes in on how Angela can find the ID using this monitor. But Brennan is surprised and seemingly delighted to see that Hodgins has somehow produced a new eyebrow since last she saw him. “Sorry to ruin your laugh fest there, but yeah!” He constructed the eyebrow using hair from his beard. This man is as precious as anything. Brennan and Angela try to keep from laughing, as the eyebrow still does not quite look normal. Hodgins is frustrated that he has not managed to shut down the ridicule yet. Suddenly, Angela’s phone rings yet again. Obviously, it is not a prank call and not a wrong number. She picks up the phone and tells the mystery caller on the other line that she has no debt and is not interested in buying a cruise. But mystery caller must have said something to pique her interest. And also incite a bit of confusion. She asks if the caller is sure that they have reached the right person. She exits the room to talk, and leaves a seemingly perplexed Brennan and Hodgins behind. Brennan takes that opportunity to shift focus back to the case. She was unaware these types of biometric fitness devices were available to the general public. Hodgins hypothesizes that the victim may have had some sort of occupational connection to the tech world.

Angela returns to her office and with a look of pure astonishment on her face. “You guys are never going to believe this, but I just won a MacArthur Fellowship. You know, the one that everyone calls the ‘Genius Grant.’” Hodgins is absolutely thrilled for his wife. “That’s unbelievable.” Brennan agrees with that assessment. To her, it is “truly” unbelievable. She explains that it’s one of the most prestigious awards a scientist can get. “They said my work with the Angelatron was groundbreaking.” Hodgins goes onto say “I always knew I married a genius.” “Technically you did not. Though Angela is incredibly talented.” Angela is a bit put off by Brennan’s lack of enthusiasm. Hodgins tells Brennan that Angela is her best friend and she should try to be happy for her. And she says she is happy for her. She just never imagined Angela would achieve this honor “let alone before I did.”

Here’s the thing: The way this scene seemed to be playing out at this point, well, let’s just say that we have seen that particular storyline before. I had ample time to think about this storyline between the time the sneak peek came out and the west coast airing. There was once a time when Cam won the Outstanding Women of Science Award. Brennan struggled with the fact that she was not the recipient. It’s not as though she discounts Cam’s intelligence or contribution to forensic pathology. But in her mind, objectively speaking, she is the most outstanding. Whether or not you think it’s right, you really have to attempt to understand her perspective. It’s obviously not her intention to come off as jealous or bitter, by any means. This is her friend and her colleague. Brennan only works with the best in their field. And she knows Cam is certainly that. A conversation with Booth would make her reconsider her stance on the award.

Booth, do you think I'm being small-minded about Cam getting the award and not me?

Yes.

What?

You might want another answer, but I can't give that to you.

But I'm clearly the best scientist.

And are you a worse scientist because Cam's getting the award?

Of course not.

See? Yeah. So you're just being petty because you want to win.

I thought you would take my side. I am on your side, okay? I'm on your better side.

Booth can see and read people. He understands their motivations. And what’s most impressive is his understanding of Temperance Brennan. That’s a tough nut to crack. But he knows how her mind works (for the most part), and he’s not going to tell her what she wants to hear. He’s going to tell her what she needs to hear. And it’s effective. Brennan is truly exceptional in so many ways. She is the best in her field. And she is one of the best scientists in the world. She is still exceptional even if someone else is honored. I am about to go off on a major tangent here. But I can relate this to Meryl Streep and the acting world. That woman has been in countless films and has hundreds upon hundreds of nominations. She is arguably one of the greatest actors of this particular generation (some would disagree, I happen to believe she is brilliant). But she cannot win every single award. In fact, she will be the first to tell you she is the biggest loser in the history of the Academy Awards. Does that make her any less exceptional? Absolutely not. With Brennan, she is still the queen of forensic anthropology. It’s not a bad thing to have someone else recognized for their invaluable work. Whether it be Cam or Angela or Hodgins. They are all exceptional at what they do. That is why they all work at the Jeffersonian. Brennan knows this. It’s ultimately why she apologizes to Cam and supports her as the award recipient. Though when Cam surprises her with the announcement that the three Jeffersonian women + nine other exceptional women of science would be honored, Brennan is stunned. And she is duly impressed at the credentials of the other women who agreed to be in this rather unconventional spread. All of them are brilliant. And all of them make key contributions to their field. It’s important to celebrate different people and different achievements so as to encourage more people go get into science.

My reasoning for bringing the past up is that it would be a recycled storyline to have Angela receive an award and make Brennan react poorly to it. It would also be a gross example of regression for this character. It’s not as though I knew in that moment that it was all a ruse to throw Angela off the trail. But I did know that it was going to play out in a different way. We are much too eager to jump to conclusions sometimes. I simply was not willing to believe Brennan had not evolved past these feelings. In that moment in season 9, she learned. And she grew as a result. She realized that it was okay for others to receive accolades. She can still certainly believe she is the best. But how many times has Angela and her brilliant technology helped crack or solve a case? Bones has taught me several lessons over the years- not to jump to conclusions, look at all the evidence, and that sometimes it’s okay to rely on your gut. The evidence tells me that Brennan has evolved since season nine. And also that she is a constant surprise. And my gut tells me there is something more to this story. This was a very roundabout way of getting to this point. But that’s how I reacted to this particular scene. On a semi-unrelated note, it’s also how we should approach teases and certain spoilers. I think there would be an overall reduction in blood pressure levels if we did.

Angela refocuses her attention on the Angelatron, as it has come up with an ID from the fitness monitor. It belongs to a man named Ian Goldberg, who Hodgins recognized. He built robots to help children on the Autism spectrum. The three of them watch one of his videos featuring AMI, a robot, interacting with a young boy. “There’s someone who deserves the genius grant.” The trio cannot understand why someone would want to kill such a kind-hearted man.

Booth and Brennan are back in the car on the way to visit the victim’s work. I did find it strange that the two of them were listening to the radio, since we never really hear them do that when they drive. But I suppose I didn’t think too much more of it. Booth notices that Brennan has been quiet during the ride, and asks if she is at all upset that Angela won the “McDonald’s award” But Brennan claims that she is not the slightest bit jealous. She is still quite focused on planning her surprise party. “It’s not every day that one turns 40.” I grew considerably more curious with every mention of this party. But it should be no surprise to anyone that Brennan was going to make sure everything was planned and perfect, down to the very last detail. Daisy calls with evidence that indicates someone punched the victim repeatedly in the back of the head. Booth calls it a “rookie move.” Daisy figures that whoever punched the victim must have sustained a serious hand injury.

After Brennan hangs up with the lab, Booth asks her about Social Cybernetics. He makes a Star Wars reference, which of course goes right over Brennan’s head. She talks a bit about the work Ian Goldberg did with robotics. She explains that he created complex systems designed to emulate the human brain. Booth believes that it’s insane to think that a robot’s brain could come close to a human’s. “At the end of the day, humans have something that robots will never have...a soul.” “The existence of a soul has never been proven with scientific data.” But Booth begins to explain that you don’t prove the existence of a soul. He’s interrupted by a very familiar tune. And even louder, he tells Brennan that a soul is “something you feel!” And now I definitely recognize the song. “You hear that? That’s our song!” Their song. I may melt. “You hear the soul in that?!” All Brennan can do is look on at her goofy husband and laugh, with so much love and adoration twinkling in her eyes. Booth begins to sing along to Hot Blooded- and while I consider it to be the most adorable sound in the world, I’m not sure he would win a Grammy for his performance. That’s what makes it so endearing. Brennan continues to smile the brightest and most dazzling smile I’ve ever seen. She’s utterly charmed by this man. And I am charmed by them.

I do believe my reaction to this scene upon first viewing was a series of offensively loud shrieks. There is something so special about a Hot Blooded moment. Sometimes it’s hard to believe there have only been (now) four of them. Because it seems as though it has been such a constant over the years. I am about to go off on yet another tangent…

The Hot Blooded phenomenon began in season one with Two Bodies in a Lab. Booth and Brennan were still getting to know each other, and this was also the first time Booth had been in Brennan’s apartment. He was there because he refused to let her out of his sight- someone had tried to kill her. They shyly interact and discuss music. Booth is surprised to see that his partner owns so much jazz, and she explains why she loves it. He looks dazzled already. And then he finds a CD, which excites him. He puts the disc into the player (this was 2005, iPods were a thing, but not everyone had them…) and Foreigner began to ring out from the speakers. Booth started dancing and singing, and then Brennan joined in. It was the beginning of them. And if we ignore the fact that Booth was blown up in the next minute, it’s such a sweet moment.

The second occurrence of Hot Blooded was in season five. Booth and Brennan were recovering from that fateful night outside the Hoover when Booth asked Brennan to give “them” a chance. She couldn’t. She didn’t believe she had the kind of open heart required to be in a relationship with this man. She could not give him all that he needed. And she couldn’t risk her friendship with Booth. That friendship was the most important thing in her life. If they took that next step, she would surely ruin it. And he would leave her. Because everyone eventually leaves. Booth stayed because she asked him to. And because I think he couldn’t actually bear to leave her. He only decided to go back to the Army at the end of the season when finding out that Brennan was leaving. I never look at that time as awkward. They were both in pain. But Booth was there for Brennan. And she was there for him. And during this particular case, they were able to engage in a carefree and somewhat nostalgic moment. Hot Blooded began to play at the “fantasy camp” and Booth is energized to hear “our song” playing. He convinces Brennan to go up on stage with him and sing. And they do. It’s an emotional marker of where they are in their relationship. But it’s also a vital component of their story.

The third (and most recent before this episode) time Hot Blooded resurfaced was when Booth and Brennan were living together with a baby. They had just wrapped up a very emotional case with an adolescent victim. Before the boy died, he made a mixtape for the girl he loved. Brennan wondered why Booth never made her a mixtape. But she chalked it up to the fact that she is not a very romantic person. I actually would disagree with that. In the end, Booth finds Brennan playing “dancing phalanges” with their daughter in the kitchen. He tells her he has made a mixtape for her. “I find I think that is very sweet.” I’d be willing to bet that no one has ever thought to make her a mixtape before. Which makes me both sad that no one ever understood her enough to truly love her like she deserves, and thankful for Booth. Booth adds that it features their song. “What, we have a song?” “Every couple has a song.” And she finally realizes which song is playing. They dance around the kitchen with their little girl. And it is perfect. Because you think back to the previous times this song was played in the show, and where this couple was at that time. And how far they have come. And now, this fourth time. They are married. That little girl is nearly seven. They have another baby boy who is likely walking by now (we know he is highly skilled at utilizing a spoon!). Each Hot Blooded marks a significant time in Booth and Brennan’s story. I find that beautiful. So when I react to the inclusion of Hot Blooded. It’s not merely because it’s their song and it’s recognizable to me. It’s that my mind barrages me this montage of flashbacks detailing this couple’s beautiful journey.

Booth and Brennan arrive at the Social Cybernetics lab, where they come face to face with a robot named AMI- an acronym for Advanced Modular Intelligence. Both Booth and Brennan appear quite impressed with AMI. AMI assesses each partner's’ facial expressions. “Dr. Brennan appears 78% curious and 22% jealous. Agent Booth is 94% amused and 6% skeptical.” That seems about right. The woman showing them around is “100% nervous.” She claims it’s only because she’s being questioned by the FBI, which for the time being I believe. She tells Booth and Brennan that she and Ian had a “fruitful” working relationship, and that they would have likely reached singularity with their technology within the next decade- making these machines indistinguishable from humans. After watching Westworld last year, I’m not certain that’s the best endgame. Booth notices a man with a wrist brace, and questions him about it. The man claims it’s Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, but don’t try to pull that with Brennan around. She semi-aggressively grabs his hand, and informs Booth that he has a Boxer’s Fracture. “You don’t need a robot to figure that out.”

Back at the FBI, Booth and Brennan interview Alan (the suspect). His injuries are an exact match for those found on the victim’s skull. Alan admits to hitting Ian, but not to killing him. Booth attempts to get Alan to admit to murder, but the man sticks to his story. Brennan notes that if one of her employees struck her in the back of the skull, she would have immediately fired said employee. But Alan claims he would have been too hard to replace. He is the best coder they have. Booth inquires as to where he was on the previous Friday evening. His answer- his desk as Social Cybernetics. Rather than waste their time on him, Alan recommends that Booth and Brennan speak to the “nuts” from “Stop the Robopocalypse.” I laugh about this now, but I’m sure it’s a very real fear, relative to the future and the advances being made in robotics. Apparently, Ian used to go onto this organization’s blogs and bait members into fights. This baffles the partners, as it seems out of character for someone who has dedicated so much of his time and energy to helping Autistic children through this advanced technology. Alan explains that while Ian was an invaluable asset to the field, “in reality the guy was a dink.”

Did he just say dink?

I think he did.

Cam finds Daisy in the bone room and asks if she has heard from the NFL. I find it really difficult to not to think about American football when this acronym is mentioned, even after having watched this episode dozens of times already. Daisy hasn’t heard from the organization yet, and cannot stop stressing over it. She’s concerned about what Brennan might say if they call her for a reference. Daisy wonders if she could call the NFL herself, and make Cam a reference instead. I know Brennan can be blunt. But let’s say we didn’t know how this particular story plays out. A reference from Temperance Brennan probably holds more weight than any other person in the world, no matter what words she uses to give the reference. Additionally, Brennan would not have agreed to give Daisy a reference if she believed she wasn’t capable of handling the job. And she would tell Daisy that- because she is blunt. But Brennan agreed. Which means that she likely had positive commentary relative to Daisy’s skills and intellectual acumen. Though looking at it from Daisy’s perspective, I know what it is to stress over a job like this. I understand how your mind will not shut off and stop worrying when you’re essentially in limbo waiting to hear about a position you legitimately desire. I’ve been there. It’s excruciating. You wonder if you should do something more. Should you follow up? Should you send another reference? It can drive you to the brink of insanity. But if Daisy could just breathe and think rationally, she would understand that it’s in the NFL’s hands now. And if it’s not the right job for her, then she will find something else.

Cam recommends that Daisy focus on her work in lieu of worrying. Daisy has found multiple incidences of blunt force trauma, but there is no rhyme or reason to any of the injuries. The trauma occurred both before and after death. Cam leaves to ask Hodgins to swab the skull, but she turns back to Daisy before she goes. “If the NFL doesn’t hire you, you’ll always have a job here.” Daisy smiles, though I think it would take her a little while longer to really process what Cam was telling her. These two make me so happy. All of their scenes together lately have been all too lovely.

Angela confirms that Alan was telling the truth about working on the Friday night the victim was murdered. Aubrey begins talking about robot conspiracy theories to Angela (who thinks AMI is actually adorable), and he is starting to sound a bit like Hodgins. “Wow, Aubrey, I never knew you were so paranoid.” They are interrupted by news that a member of Stop the Robocalpyse crashed one of Ian’s speaking engagements last year and struck him in the leg with a baseball bat.

In the Ookey Room, Daisy finds Hodgins creating a map. Ultimately, he wants to pinpoint the victim’s injuries to different locations in the woods. His explanation is a bit more complex and detailed, and Daisy listens intently. “I have to say, it’s good to see you back to your old self, Dr. Hodgins.” She doesn’t mean his eyebrow, nor his legs. She’s talking about his demeanor. She’s talking about that zest for life and passion for science. Hodgins is back. And it’s a wonderful sight to behold. She then asks Hodgins if he thinks she has a chance at the NFL job. Daisy really seems to be obsessing over this. Bug again, I understand. “The thought of not getting it makes me feel like such a failure.” This is not necessarily relevant to the point, but not getting a job does not make one a failure. And that’s not a reason to want a job so desperately- fear of failing. If that’s the most dominant emotion, the job is probably not the right one anyway. You want a job because it’s something you’re passionate about. Not because NOT getting that job would make you a failure in the eyes of your peers and yourself. Hodgins tells Daisy that while they have a history of getting on each other’s nerves, he truly believes that she is a highly skilled scientist. Daisy agrees, but notes that Brennan was younger than she is when she was running the Jeffersonian. “Yes, but life is not a competition, Daisy. Trust me, if I’ve learned anything being in this chair, it’s that happiness comes from accepting what you have.” Daisy is worried that all she has is “one big question mark.” Hodgins can certainly relate. He refocuses his attention on the map, and realizes that the killer could have purposely dragged the victim through the woods to obscure evidence.

While Aubrey and Booth are walking to speak to Matthew Coburn, the head of Stop the Robocalpyse, Aubrey brings up Brennan’s birthday. “You’re really not gonna get your own wife a birthday present?” But Brennan swears she doesn’t want anything. And Booth seems fine with that. I mostly just wanted to write the word “wife” because no matter how many times I hear it, I still need to pinch myself. Aubrey thinks it sounds like a trap. But Brennan is not like most women. She says what she means. And Booth knows that. When she says she doesn’t want a gift, she means it. And so he will have to think outside the box on this one. When they locate the suspect, he takes off running. And the two agents are forced to chase him up a fence, through an abandoned building, and finally catch him before he can jump another fence. Why do they always run? During an interrogation session, Matthew admits he never intended to hurt Ian. He was merely trying to smash his robot, but Ian stepped in to protect it. He explains to Aubrey that the government is weaponizing this technology. Aubrey is a bit confused, as Ian did not make weapons. He created these robots to help Autistic children. “So he said.” Matthew claimed that Ian was going to sell out to the highest bidder. On the night of Ian’s murder, Matthew was in his RV writing a blog post. Aubrey is going to keep this man in holding. But I’ve seen this before. The head of an opposing organization is never actually the killer in these tales. Too obvious.

Daisy is back in the bone room, this time examining the bones with Brennan. She is tense. And before she can even say anything, Brennan tells her that she has not yet heard from the National Forensic Lab. I like that Brennan can read Daisy. She knew exactly what she was thinking. Development. Cam enters with evidence that someone tried to rip the victim’s arms from his sockets. Brennan notes that a human could certainly not inflict that level of damage. But Hodgins has found evidence of AMI’s materials on the victim. Could AMI have killed her creator? There’s a frightening twist.

At the FBI, Booth and Brennan bring AMI in for questioning. Booth is a bit in disbelief that they are actually interrogating a machine. But Brennan points out that AMI is no different than they are. “That is not accurate, Dr. Brennan. Unlike you, my memory will never degrade with age.” Brennan’s reaction is adorable. As usual. AMI says she did not hit Ian. Not even by accident. Brennan asks AMI to share any memories she has of Ian from the previous Friday. But she has no memories of Ian from that day. Since she cannot lie, this is a very startling admission. Ian was seen programming the robot that day. As it turns out, someone deleted her memory. When Brennan asks who deleted the files, AMI shuts down completely.

Brennan returns to her office to find Max waiting for her. I already had a very sinking feeling about Ryan O’Neal’s appearance in this episode. He doesn’t show up for no reason. And sadly, I already figured I knew the reason why Max was there. She asks Max what he’s doing in her office, since her party doesn’t start for another seven hours. He just wanted to come by and have some one on one time with his “favorite” daughter. She is genuinely pleased to see him. And my heart aches that much more. Brennan has to continue working on the case, but he doesn’t mind. He only wants to spend time with her- it doesn’t matter how they spend that time. For a second, I thought maybe Brennan had figured something out. She asks Max if everything is okay. His answer does not have me convinced. But Brennan has a lot on her mind, and she believes him. Max heard from Hodgins that Angela won the MacArthur genius grant. “We’re all very proud.” Max tells her it’s normal to feel a little jealousy. She doesn’t have time for “such petty emotions” because of this case and planning her surprise party. This must be one doozy of a party. It’s taken a great deal of planning. Max wants to know if there will be dancing at the mystery party, as he has been taking salsa lessons. That’s a surprising admission, in my opinion. When people find out they only have a certain period of time left on earth, they sometimes try to fit in new experiences and learn new skills in the time they have left- like salsa. Brennan is amused that her father is learning salsa. “You have to live life to the fullest. None of us live forever, you know.” And it is at that point that I think most of our worst fears were essentially confirmed. Max continues dancing as Brennan works, and he makes her laugh. Please, stomp on my heart a little harder, show. Their relationship has evolved so much since we first met this man in season 2. And it took Max a considerable amount of time to earn his daughter’s trust. Where they are now is just astonishing. Because I can only think back to that time on the bench, with Max dressed as a priest. I don’t even want to think about Brennan’s reaction when she finds out what he is hiding. At this point I don’t know specifically what is wrong. I just know it’s nothing good. This is a man who understands that he does not have much time left. That much is obvious.

Daisy is second guessing herself while examining evidence in the bone room. “No wonder the NFL hasn’t called.” Brennan tells her to stop being so hard on herself. “So far, your work here has been perfectly adequate.” Brennan would have given Daisy a “solid B” had she been grading her. This does not assuage Daisy’s worry. She is capable of A+ work. Brennan knows this as well. But if she wants to be a lead forensic anthropologist, Daisy needs to be doing A+ work at every moment. Daisy is inspired to think more critically about the case. She realizes that the body could have been hoisted up into something after death. Brennan commends her discovery. A+ work, indeed.

In the Ookey Room, Cam is surprised to see Hodgins gliding over his map. “...or should I say Peter Pan.” Hodgins is a lot like Peter Pan, when I stop to think about it. Obviously he’s not stuck in some fairy tale. But there’s a part of him that never wants to “grow up.” He looks at science with a childlike wonderment. It’s completely pure. Sure, it’s nice to have money. But all he really wants to do in life is explore, and dream, and play. He does all this through his job- which has always been more than a job. Aside from a brief dark period, he has always been that way. In 11x18, he said he wanted to be someone who never stops looking. He always wants to be inspired to explore something more. He wants to perform experiments. He wants to play with bugs. He wants to build giant maps of the woods and glide over it with a pulley system he built. This is Hodgins. This is who he is. And like Daisy, I am elated to see him back to his old self as well.

Hodgins still has yet to figure out a pattern within his map. Cam goes to look at Hodgins swab results, and notes that they should help narrow down where the victim’s body was hoisted. Cam walks back over to the map and is surprised at how quickly Hodgins managed to make a nest. But it is not a nest. It’s Hodgins’ makeshift eyebrow. This show...Hodgins cannot get what he needs from this map. He has to go back into the woods (and now I want to sing Sondheim).

Angela finds out that Ian was the one who deleted AMI’s memory. She digs up a record of AMI’s neural network, and finds the last item recorded before her memory was wiped. It was a call from Ian, and he mentioned an address. The address in question belongs to something called Patriot Industries, which happens to be a warehouse in close proximity to where Ian’s body was found.

Booth and Aubrey are exploring the warehouse. They posit that perhaps Ian was selling his technology to a weapons manufacturer. But they couldn’t be more wrong. They open one of the many crates stored in the building, only to find a sex doll lying inside. They ask the manufacturer about his meeting with Ian. The agents bait the man into telling them what they want to know by implying that he could have killed Ian for his technology. But he claims that he and Ian were about to go into business together. “Sex bots are the future my friend.” I love this show. Ian was alive when he left the meeting. So where did he go? Who got to him? And why?

Out in the woods, Daisy and Hodgins are combing the area for any evidence they can find. Hodgins cannot seem to find a compelling motive for hauling Ian’s body so deep into the woods. But Daisy wants to take a break from the case and discuss something personal once more. She has been mulling over Hodgins’ words to her earlier in the episode- about accepting circumstances in life when things do not go your way. “And even if the NFL doesn’t hire me, I love being at the Jeffersonian and working with all of you.” Hodgins agrees. I know that staying at the Jeffersonian may not be ideal for her. She would never be lead forensic anthropologist so long as Brennan was there. She finished her doctorate and it was time to start her own career. But until she finds that first great job, the Jeffersonian isn’t such a bad place to work. It’s become her home as much as it’s been for any of the other characters. During her time there, she fell in love. She also lost that love, more than once. She gained a family. And that family has been there for her through it all. And they have been there for her son as well. It’s more than a job. She won’t lose that family by leaving the Jeffersonian. They will still always have those ties. And maybe it is a safety net. Who cares. Even if she went out on her own and failed, these people would still welcome her back with open arms. She will always have a place there. She will always have a home there. It just took a few words from Hodgins to make her realize that. Both she and Hodgins have lost so much recently. But they have found solace in this place with these people. They were able to heal because of it all. So I love seeing them share like this. But I always love Hodgins’ unique interactions with all the interns.

They find the tree where Ian’s body was hoisted. Hodgins realizes that it was also the spot where he was murdered. He finds a speaker made out of the same materials as AMI. So the robot is innocent. Whoever killed Ian must have hit him in the back of the skull with this speaker. What the two haven’t quite figured out is why the body was dumped a mile away.

While Brennan cannot detect fingerprints on the speaker, she does find evidence that Ian was stabbed in the neck with a very small knife. Brennan explains that this type of injury typically implies an attempt at decapitation. Booth has a realization in that moment. What if they weren’t looking for a brilliant computer scientist? What if they were actually searching for a “knucklehead stoner” who admitted to having a pocket knife earlier in the episode. And now we know who the killer is- Randy Stringer. Randy and Ian were taking LSD together the night he died. Apparently, he killed Ian over a gift. For whatever reason, Randy thought he was going to get a substantial chunk of change from Ian. And all he got was (this lousy) a bluetooth speaker. He was the one who came up with the idea of putting AI into sex dolls. And he should have gotten credit for his “brilliant” idea. This revelation not surprise me one bit. Another case closed.

That night, Booth and Brennan are back in the car presumably driving to Brennan’s surprise party at their home. Brennan is concerned that Booth lured Randy into confession by claiming they had conclusive evidence. When in fact, what they did have was not necessarily definitive. But Booth instinctively knew it was Randy. And he was right. He used his “gut” to feel out the situation. He notes that robots cannot do that. Before Brennan can continue arguing, Booth stops her. She doesn’t want to spend her birthday arguing about robots. He wants to give her his present. Brennan is not happy, as she specifically requested that there be no gifts. But when have Booth’s gifts ever been just gifts. They always hold a deeper meaning. Even if said gifts have no intrinsic value. He knows she’s going to love this present. “We’ll see.” She opens it up to find a letter approving a court date for Zack’s appeal. Booth wanted to go ahead get it on the books, though it is still a few months out. The reason for appeal lists that new osteological evidence is being considered. Brennan is concerned that she has no such evidence at this moment. But Booth has faith that she will find it. “I cannot embark on my research with the presumption of Zack’s innocence.” She doesn’t have to. She can embark on her research as she would any other case. Booth tells her once again that he has faith in her. And I may die from a heart attack. This episode contains so much sweetness. “But your belief in me does make me very happy.” Brennan may not rely on or even believe in intangible constructs such as the “gut” or faith, but Booth does. And so his faith in her means something to her because of that. With a huge smile, Booth tells her that he is glad she likes her gift. They are too perfect. Remember when Hot Blooded came on earlier in the episode? It’s not relevant to this moment but it’s all I can think about, apparently.

Brennan’s guests are waiting for her back at Booth and Brennan’s home. Angela is nervous about Brennan’s reaction to her grant. “She can be a bit competitive.” Hodgins claims that most people freak out when they turn 40. “Well my daughter isn’t like most people.” Truer words never spoken, Max. Christine announces that her parents are home. And the team doesn’t know whether to hide or not. No one knew what to expect from this party. No matter, Brennan opens the door yelling “surprise!” She instructs Booth and Aubrey to open the large box on the table to reveal three very different and distinct cakes. Daisy takes notice of the (American) football cake, and reads the message. It congratulated her for landing the job at the NFL. “Though I did not ask for your cake to be decorated in this manner.” I can only imagine the conversation she had with the cake decorator. Angela notices that there is a cake for her as well. And that’s the surprise. The party is a celebration for Brennan and all of her friends and family. The camera quickly pans to Max who has a very strange look on his face. He is likely feeling conflicting emotions- proud of his daughter for the remarkable person she has become. And devastated that he will not have much time left to see what extraordinary things she does in the future.

As it turns out, Brennan recommended Daisy for the NFL job. And she nominated Angela for the grant. Angela is shocked, as Brennan seemed to have made such a big deal about her not being a genius. Brennan gives the credit to her much-improved acting skills. I have to agree with her, finally. In the past, she wasn’t much of an actor. But she did an absolutely stellar job keeping these secrets. Even Booth was impressed. “That’s one of the many benefits of growing older, we grow wiser in the process.” The camera pans back to Max who is wearing a giant smile across his face. Daisy is growing emotional, as she is going to miss Brennan and the rest of the team. “You are a highly-skilled scientist, Daisy. You deserve all the success in the world.” Brennan and Daisy have come so far. And it’s really beautiful and rewarding to witness this moment.

With so little time left, I wondered whether this episode would delve any more into what secret Max is keeping. I didn’t have to wait much longer. Christine finds a hospital bracelet on the floor next to her grandpa. She picks it up and hands it back to him. He tells her it’s nothing, and quickly stuffs it back into his pocket. Christine isn’t at all worried. But I spent the remainder of this party crying my eyes out. Booth lights the candles on the cake, and everyone starts singing Happy Birthday to Brennan. She looks so unbelievably radiant in this moment. And Max looks haunted. He cannot even manage to continue singing with everyone else. He watches his baby girl blow out her birthday candles, knowing full well that this could be the last birthday he spends with her. And maybe, one of the last times he can be with her and her family. Flipping back and forth between a joyful Brennan (pun intended) and Max is one of the more emotional experiences I’ve had watching this show.

I do not know the exact details of what is ailing Max. If I had to guess, I would have to say that he is terminal. From what, I do not know. When he came back into Brennan’s life in season 2, it was a confusing time. She was so guarded, and couldn’t trust him. After all, Max and her mother abandoned her when she was just a teenager. Fifteen may seem old to some. But she was still just a child. She managed to survive on her own, but she shouldn’t have had to. That’s part of the reason Brennan was so vehement about finding Christine the right school. She wanted her daughter to have stability- a luxury she never had. But in season nine, Max does remind his daughter that her childhood wasn’t always so bad. If she can look beyond the painful memories, she can recall that her home was filled with love. She has always been different, and was treated as such in school. But at home, she was celebrated. She and Max always shared a love of science. Her life was enriched by this man. And the only reason her parents left was to save their children. So in time, she was able to forgive. Though she never forgot.

It took Max and Brennan so long to get to this place. And there have been little missteps along the way. But Max proved that he was not going to leave her again. At least not indefinitely. He went to prison to show her that he was here to stay. And while Brennan still couldn’t fully trust her father, she concocted an alternate story for the jury to save him. She couldn’t bear to let him go. Not after she just got him back. His resurgence may have reopened old wounds, but we know it’s better to feel sad than dead inside. She was learning how to open her heart and trust again. Booth helped her with that. Angela helped her with that. Max still engaged in some illicit behavior, but generally it was only in the interest of protecting his family. Max and Booth are alike in many ways. Maybe that’s why Max took an instant liking to his daughter’s “partner.” He could see this man was good for his daughter in so many ways. If only they could both see that themselves, they could be something wonderful- like he and his late wife. Max only killed to protect his loved ones. He has a clear conscience because he would never kill in cold blood. His kids were threatened, so he removed the threat. He’s a good man. Booth would have done exactly the same.

Thinking about where his daughter was when he reentered her life and observing her during her 40th birthday, there’s a stark difference. Of course she is still the same Brennan at her core. So much of her is the same as when we met her over a decade ago. But she has also experienced immense growth. All of these people with whom she has surrounded herself have changed her. New experiences have affected her. She has a family now. She has more love in her life than she knows what to do with. And she can trust that these people are here to stay. She no longer lives with a constant fear of abandonment. She is strong, yes. But she allows herself to feel. She took a chance on love. And while it has brought her some degree of pain every so often, it has enriched her life in such profound ways. Max sees what his daughter has done for her friends. This is the little girl he knew growing up. He has always known that she has such a kind heart and giving spirit. She just doesn’t show her emotions and relate in the same way other people do. But she found people who understand her and celebrate her in the same way he and his wife did when she was growing up. Max always knew that Brennan was special. And she is. He couldn’t be prouder. I almost want to say he had a “my work here is done” face on. I know that’s completely reaching, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. His daughter has it all now. And he can rest easy knowing she will be well taken care of when he is gone.

What worries me now is Brennan’s reaction to whatever Max is keeping from her. Logically, she knows that people die every day. Obviously she sees that on a daily basis. But her father- she lost him for 15 years. They are in a good place now. They are finally at peace. And now he’s going to abandon her again. At least that’s how I feel she may take it. Because even the most rational person can be affected by death in unpredictable and highly illogical ways. I am also going by the teases for upcoming episodes. Something is going to affect Brennan in a deeply emotional way. I don’t know if Max is going to tell her what’s wrong. Or if he’s just going to die without having ever warned her. I really don’t know. I am terrified of either scenario. I am terrified to see this strong and brilliant woman completely fall apart. When Booth or Brennan fall apart, I fall apart. But she will get through it. Eventually. There will be a beautiful resolution. Because that’s what this show is all about. It’s never death for the sake of death. It’s always an enhancement to the show. There is always a purpose. Both Brennan and Max will never regret the time they did have together. It was like bonus time when he came back into her life. Max surely wouldn’t have traded it for anything. And I assume this life with his daughter was more than he ever expected from her. In time, she will heal. But it will take time.

I believe we have one more lighter episode before the one that is going to set the next Big Bad killer arc in motion. I am looking forward to all of it. Every single moment. But again, can we slow down time? FOX should have aired an episode of this season once a month. Anyway, no use in talking about that right now. I am already too emotional over this episode’s ending. As I have posted this late, I’ll be back soon with the next one!

#bonestv #bones #12x02 #the brain in the bot #recap #thoughts #this was really late and i considered not posting it because who cares at this ppoint #but i was very sick and exhausted last week #so #i guess i'll post

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