#I wouldn’t make a big deal about this had Viv not made him mixed and made it clear in the leaks what races she wants some of the actors | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

arctimon · 3 years

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A “Vision” of The Future

Imagine, if you will, that you’re the son of the most famous robotics expert in the entire world. Well, if you’re Tadashi “Dash” Hamada, you don’t have to imagine. You are that person.

(Borrowing @baymaksu‘s drawing of him for illustration purposes.)

Now, also imagine that there’s a new family that moves in right across the street, and your parents take you over to introduce them. You’re extremely bored because you want to get back to making EMP grenades or whatever will help you be the best leader of the new generation of Big Hero 6 you can be. Your mom and dad are shooting the breeze exchanging pleasantries and recipes and whatnot, and you just want to go back to work.

And then you see...her.

A girl that you can’t stop staring at. And she can’t stop staring at you either.

Dark hair. Tanned skin, almost exotic. A strand of light purple and lime green going down her bangs. The brightest electric green eyes you’ve ever seen in your life. Yup, you’re definitely- “Dash? You OK, bud?” His cheeks were burning red, and he felt extremely hot in his neck. Panicking, he pulled his hood over his head. “I-I’m fine.” He beelined toward the house and went through the front door, ready to splash an entire sink’s worth of cold water on his face.

“...What’s up with him?” “Oh, Hiro.” He turned to Karmi, who was shaking her head in mock disdain. “What?”

“Your son has, in the thirty seconds we spent over there, has very clearly developed a gigantic crush on their daughter.” “Really?” Hiro looked back at the neighbor’s house. “I didn’t notice.”

Karmi lightly patted his cheek, chuckling to herself. “Of course you didn't.” -----

Yeah, even in The Future, Big Hero 6 stories of mine wouldn’t be Big Hero 6 stories without some sort of young romance involved in it.

Also drama. And Dash will undoubtedly be dealing with both. Because we are talking about Vivian Vision.

For those of you who may not know, Vivian is the “daughter” of Vision, and one of three synthezoids that he created to help him become more “human”, along with his “son” Vin and his “wife” Virginia. They made their first appearance in Vision’s solo comic back in late 2015:

By the end of the the twelve-issue run, Viv would find herself on the Champions, a team of young superheroes that had a falling-out with the Avengers after the events of Civil War II and wanted to do things the right way. The initial roster consisted of Viv, Ms. Marvel (Kamala Khan), Spider-Man (Miles Morales), Nova (Sam Alexander), Hulk (Amadeus Cho), and a time-displaced younger Cyclops (Scott Summers):

(They would later expand the roster in more recent years, but that’s not really the point of this post.)

One of the conflicts in the first Champions run was “Worlds Collide”, a six-issue event where the High Evolutionary set the Earth on a collision course with a Counter-Earth to basically reset the planet, and the Avengers and Champions worked together to save the world. During the course of that, Viv (via the High Evolutionary) gets turned from a synthezoid into a real human girl:

Eventually, the Avengers and the Champions save the day, but it involves Viv sacrificing herself to do it. Distraught, Vision immediately begins construction on a new “daughter”, unaware that the first one had survived. A lot of stuff happens in the in-between, but the long and short of it is that Viv had somehow turned into data, was able to be ported back to life, and did so right as Vision activated the second Vivian synthezoid. Resulting in what I have previously posted before. This lovely little picture.

One synthezoid Vivian. One human Vivian. Now, I’m not going to spoil what ends up happening later in the Champions run, but it did lead me to an interesting hypothetical question.

Robots are a commonplace thing with a futuristic city like San Fransokyo. Baymax himself is a robot, but has essentially become part of the family. But we clearly know he’s a robot.

What would happen in the line between human and robot was blurred? If you couldn’t tell the difference between what was flesh and blood and what was circuitry? What if someone came to the leading robotics expert in the world for help on how to be more “human”?

And what if said child of said robotics expert got himself caught in the middle of the conundrum? Would it end in heartbreak...

Catastrophe...

Or something much, much worse?

Yes, my fanfics wouldn’t be mine without a Hamada becoming immediately lovestruck with a girl two years older than him...and all of the drama that you can fill a story with. But the ultimate question will be which Vivian are we talking about here? Which Vivian is the girl that Dash’s infatuated with? The human one?

The robot one?

...A mix of both? Many, many questions. Maybe we should ask someone who knows what’s going on.

Viv?

...Ohh boy. Dash, you’re going to have your hands full with this one.

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oddlyhale · 3 years

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As much as I begin to see the horrors of RWBY fndm and how crazed BB fans can be, there'll probably be no comparison to the psychotics I had to deal with in the HH fndm.

While I can totally find myself being tolerant with all RWBY ships, there's something territorial when it comes to HH ships. It's a different beast on its own, especially with the popular artists that can and will control their fanbase.

Boy do I have a tale of 2020 that had me deal with the mental gymnastics these wild shippers put me through. The sheer hypocrisy, the fear fans had of standing up to them, the collective harassment.

In a synopsis, before we start:

Hi, my name is Hale.

Alfa and Alex are probably the most psychotic people I’ve ever met when it comes to my online daily life. I used to think my ex-friends were the bane of my existence, but Alfa and Alex started making me think just how angelic my exes were in comparison.

So let’s begin.

When I first met the Double AAs, it was Alex first (awhile back in late-June 2020 during Vaggie Week) but it was indirect. I was on my Instagram when I was tagged by a random user in something Alex had drawn. This was when I first saw the kill art of Vaggie. I was so upset that I had yelled at this random user for tagging me, as well as showing it via screencap on my twitter, as a warning to never do this to me to my followers. Keep in mind, I had censored Alex’s name from the screencap, not the random user.

However, Alex saw this somehow and became hysterical, thinking I was targeting him for what he drew. This caused an uproar of his fans to come attack me, and it did cause me to become scared and get away from my account. Alfa decided to insert herself into the mix, but I didn’t care enough for her to say anything. It was mostly Alex and how much he was “scared” and cried about the “fandom being so hateful and scary.” He went private for a while I believe, but Alfa was still going hard at me and sending more of her fans to come harass me.

If Alex ever says he is a strong and brave man, don’t believe him. He fears the HH fandom.

Anyhow, after Alfa’s fans had done their best to gaslight me, I didn’t give in. In fact, I made amends with the random user that tagged me. Somehow they assumed I would like the art of Vaggie being killed, which was childish to even believe in. Nonetheless, I forgave them, and we moved on from there.

But even when we both resolved this together, Alfa and Alex decided that it would be fun to make this “kill Vaggie art” a meme, or trend. With their huge followings combined, they were able to get their artist fans to join in and start creating so much hate art of Vaggie. Many of them drew her head being cut off, mutilated, raped and cheated on.

Alfa and Alex adore gaslighting the hell out of people. While they draw such hideous things, they will go ahead and say, “but it’s just fiction, it’s not real,” and call you psychotic for even caring so much about their bad behaviour. I can only imagine what Alfa’s husband goes through everyday since Alfa loves to make people second-guess themselves often.

Keep in mind, Alfa and Alex are the same people who will cry and shake when their fictional ship is invalidated and written out. They often wish nothing good for Viv and her team that are providing these ungrateful children with the show and content they so badly want. It shows you just how privileged they had grown up as children, doesn’t it?

This wasn’t fun, it was horrible. I didn’t realize just how many toxic people existed in the HH fandom until this “trend” began to spread.

But the funny thing that I'll never forget is how apeshit Alfa went when I had the audacity to draw Alastor plus sized. She accused me of being a pedophile, supporting MAPs. Even though she leans towards being pro-ship (likes incest, OK with lolicon, will condone drawing necophilia.) But me? Having the sheer audacity of drawing Alastor fat? It burned her so bad.

As well, this was being pushed on the VAs during a small livestream. The chat wouldn’t stop asking, “what do you think of the Vaggie kill art going around?” Of course the VAs ignored these questions, but it was really rude to even ask these things. Especially when Vaggie’s VA was in the same livestream.

But then this trend was proven to be a lie, by Alex’s own words. He dropped the ball in a one-off conversation with an anti that “he only created this to get back at the Chaggie shippers.” So retroactively, this trend was worthless.

What also began to start becoming obvious was that Alfa was too afraid to do anything on her own, and thus, she will recruit some darlings to defend her. Alfa seems to have more defenders than she has any confidence to defend herself, and when she has no choice but to stand up for herself, she will buckle and hide. She is weak, is what I had learnt.

I decided to just ignore Alex and Alfa as much as I could. With a friend though, I was given updates of what was happening on the Double AAs’ side in the meantime, and it’s amazing to see just how vile they can be with their own fans and haters. Especially with their new puppy named Salty. (I think that’s their name, another weak ass bitch.)

As months went by, the major event that stirred from the AA camp was when they were harassing Pastel Sky. This would be where the big reveal of just how horrible the AAs and their friends truly are, when they have nobody to harass except for kids. HH has a wide audience of children involved in this fandom, hence why many other artists keep saying we should try to be good examples for them, and keep them safe. But not for the AAs.

Pastel was ruthlessly attacked by them and it was all unwarranted. What they were angry about was that Pastel had the nerve to have negative opinions when it came to AAs, and they broke their own rule of “don’t like then block.” Even Galactic Potatoes (Spuds) would go out of their way, again, to gaslight Pastel into believing that what attacks she received on Twitter was allowed, because Pastel was asking for it. Spuds is well-known to gaslight, a thing they had learnt from the AAs quite often.

Pastel was a minor at the time, and it really doesn’t matter if Pastel was just 17. I don’t care if Pastel was only 17 and that “well she’s almost 18,” because regardless of age, harassment is not the answer. Follow by that, fighting with minors is actually fucking stupid and braindead. Spuds tried very hard to justify why attacks were OK, and that Pastel “should learn” how to grow up. I then learnt that Spuds went into hiding afterwards.

That was until the Double AAs’ discord chats were exposed, showing that they were practically mouth-watering at Pastel’s pain, romanticizing her apparent abuse and trying to convince each other how her punishment on Twitter was correct. Even one (I believe was Jay because he loves me and wants me back) wished that I would die. This would be the third time he asked me to die indirectly, which justifies my points on how toxic and abusive they are.

This entire event seemed to have unraveled a new wave of truths, and it’s sad to know it had to take a literal minor to have their masks fall off.

In 2021, Alex was exposed to be a thief. Stealing commission money for “stress pills.” If Alex is on a path of drug addiction, I hope it’s not the case. That’s a terrible place to be, and hopefully he’ll be clean and grow up for once. I still don’t care enough about Alfa, after now knowing all she is, is just a dramatic housewife with nothing better to do in her life. Perhaps if they just got jobs instead of stealing money from fans, they’d be leading well-productive lives.

From what I understand, many of the toxic fans of the Double AAs have either dropped HH fandom, or have deleted their accounts. Good, I hope they stay gone. The fandom deserves better, not trash.

Needless to say, the best advice I can give to those in the HH fandom that come facing the Double AAs is to not be afraid of them.

Over time, once you get used to their behaviour, you come to realize that this is their default. They’re not likable, they’re not nice, and they aren’t appreciative of one singular thing you do for them (hence Alex stealing from his own fans.)

It’s their M.O., they are just that cruel. So don’t fear them, but challenge their behaviour. Don’t stoop to their level of wanting to draw hateful art, though, that will fuel them. Talking down to them like their idiots always works like a charm.

Anyways, thanks for reading.

If anybody from the Double AAs’ camp ever finds this and reads it, I just wanna say that you are doing a great job, sweety. Thanks for proving me right by the new year. I appreciate the honesty for once. It only took you a year, just think of what other things you’ll do in the next year.

#hazbin hotel #fndm critical #personal story #mature topics ahead #tw

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myownpersonaldemons · 5 years

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Self-Tober Prompt 10

Fantasy

Grillby/Reader

This is actually just an AU for Chasing the End where the war between monsters and humans never happened that I thought of (not spoiling anything that hasn’t been revealed as of Chapter 15), and it’s kind of in a fantasy setting so.......................................here you go\

You heard the high-pitched scream that made your stomach drop and your hands drop the dish you were washing. Your heart beat heavily in your chest, but a soothing reassurance calmed you down almost instantly. It almost seemed to whisper ‘no one was harmed...it’s okay...we’re all okay’.

Still, you wiped your hands off on your apron and hurried outside into the yard. Grillby was holding a small flaming child high above a smaller amphibian monster who was attempting to scale him to get to the child. Nindree was too busy cackling, getting a dry look from her mate who then proceeded to head over to scoop Undyne into their arms.

“What happened?” you asked, half-amused as Grillby lowered Kindra slightly but still well out of reach of Undyne if she were to wriggle her way out of Cherja’s arms.

“Undyne wanted to show Kindra the new move that Gerson showed her! Cept, my little brat wanted ta practice ON your kid. Sorry for the intrusion, but the way! BUT! We’re basically family so DEAL WITH IT!” Nindree said with a big grin, and Cherja sighed exasperatedly, before swiping their long tail into Nindree’s legs and tripping her.

Undyne cackled, clapping her tiny hands at the sight of her mother sprawled on the floor.

“Apologiessss, Lionheart, Undyne was full of energy,” Cherja sighed, slithering closer to you.

You sighed softly, “No apologies needed, Cher. Which one screamed like that?”

Grillby jerked a thumb over to Undyne who was grinning proudly up at you from underneath her parents arm. You raised your eyebrow, “That was a loud scream, kiddo. Thought someone was hurt.”

“Gotta make em AFRAID!” Undyne shouted, pumping her fists upwards as best she could, but almost fell out of Cherja’s arms. Cherja sighed again before placing their daughter onto the dirt unceremoniously. Undyne grinned up at you, her red hair flopping into her face before she roughly shoved it out of the way. It looked like it had been braided at one point, but you knew Undyne hated the feeling of her hair braided unlike her mother.

“Undyne, do you wisssh to ssshow your Aunt them move inssstead?” Cherja asked, “No tesssting it on her, though.”

“Oh, no,” you waved a hand, “sweetie, you can practice on me, but first you gotta apologize to Kindra for scaring them.”

Undyne puffed out her cheeks before sighing dramatically and walking over to your SOULmate. Grillby bent down to one knee and Undyne held out a webbed hand towards Kindra, who had returned to her more human-esque appearance. Kindra stared at the hand before peering up at her father. Only when he nodded did she reach out and accept the hand shake.

“Sorry for scaring you...or whatever,” Undyne mumbled, before immediately darting back over to you and grabbing at your apron. “NOW?”

You huffed out a laugh, “sure, kid.”

Undyne led you a bit away from the house to the ‘sparring area’ as Nindree had declared it one day when she had tackled you to the ground one day. It had been ten years since you last had to worry about keeping your fighting skills sharp. The peace treaty King Riagol made with the human king had worked, thankfully.

Your best friend’s daughter was nearly fifteen and sometimes forgot that Halflings didn’t mature as fast as Monsters did, and sometimes couldn’t understand why your four year old wasn’t like her. Speaking of, you glanced over at Kindra, sending out a comforting pulse and she returned a loving one that almost made you start crying in the sparring ring.

You’d never thought you would ever have this life. A husband, a daughter...Gods, you didn’t even think you’d have friends. There had been a point where you had refused to look to the future, every day was one after the next because all you saw when you looked into the future was death, despair, and war. This wasn’t the future you had ever envisioned...but it was a future you were grateful for.

Undyne didn’t let you dwell on your thoughts for long at all before she was pulling you into an encounter. You skipped your turn by checking her and giggling at the description.

*Wants to get strong enough to suplex a BOULDER!

When it was her turn, you could see her face screw up in concentration focusing on her hand before a spear fizzled into existence. Undyne grinned wickedly at it before glancing over at her parents with excitement and then turned back towards you. With even more concentration she threw the spear towards your SOUL. You already knew there was no harmful intent in the blow, but it was your SOUL, so you shifted it out of the way of the spear at the last second.

When it was your turn, you checked her again and saw that the description had changed to:

*WILL suplex a boulder one day!

Your smile widened before you allowed her to end the encounter.

“One day I’ll be able to bet anyone in a fight!” Undyne shouted in promise before running towards Nindree and tackling her back to the ground. You snorted as the two began to rough house on the ground, shouts of praise and encouragement from Nindree and cackles and laughter from Undyne filled the small clearing that you and Grillby had made your home.

Cherja smiled fondly at the image before they turned back towards you, “Thank you...that isss all we came by for....ssshe wasss quite excccited. We ssshall get out of your hair, Gasster and Viv invited usss over for lunch.”

“OH! RIGHT!” Nindree sprung to her feet, Undyne tucked under her arm giggling, “Viv wanted me to tell you that she and that old fart think that their egg’s gunna hatch soon. Sans has been talkin’ bout nothing else.”

You smiled, “I can’t wait to meet Papyrus.”

“NEITHER CAN I!” Undyne shouted, “Sans doesn’t wanna rough house with me, and Ra’s too small still.”

“Anywaysss, let’sss go,” Cherja said, placing a hand on Nindree’s back, “We’re intruding.”

“Pah, what’s with you and Grillbz always telling me I’m intruding,” Nindree grumbled, but allowed her mate to guide her away after giving you a one armed hug, and punching Grillby’s shoulder.

“...if you stopped....we wouldn’t tell you...” Grillby shot back, grinning at her and giving her a lighter punch back. You waved, calling out promises to see them soon, and watched as they continued down the path back towards the capital. Once they were out of sight, you twirled towards your family and pulled Kindra out of Grillby’s arms.

“Well, wasn’t that an exciting morning,” you said kissing her nose, then added as you glanced at her small stripped dress, “good thing I enchanted your clothes to not burn. Combustible baby.”

Kindra smiled at you, returning the kiss on your nose with a bit too much pressure and enthusiasm. She giggled at you as you scrunched up your nose slightly. Grillby placed a kiss to her temple which made her giggle more, and then pat her father’s cheeks happily. He responded by blowing some sparks lightly at her, which made her giggle even harder as they dusted across her cheeks.

“What were you two up to?” you asked, nudging Grillby’s stomach with your elbow, “Besides lighting my daughter on fire.”

“I did it!” Kindra announced loudly, before bursting into flames in your arms. Grillby yanked her out of your arms immediately, and you felt the slight panic in his face but you simply laughed.

“Look at you! Have you been practising?” you asked, subtly reaching over to Grillby to soothe his worries. You both knew that she’d would have to have intent to harm you, but she also wasn’t able to stop things from catching on fire. Your clothes were not enchanted against fire...yet. You added that to your mental checklist.

“Yeah! With Papa!” Kindra chirrped happily, before kissing Grillby’s cheek and the wriggling in his arms. “I wanna go!”

“....where?” Grillby asked, but relented.

“Play with frogs!” Kindra announced, pointing towards the pond.

Grillby tensed slightly, and you rested your hand against his back.

“Just don’t burst into flames near the water, okay?” you said smiling down at her, “It makes Papa nervous.”

“Okay! I won’t!” Kindra said, beaming at the two of you before spinning around and skipping towards the pond.

Grillby let out a sigh of smoke this time and looked down at you before back at his daughter. You stepped closer and wrapped your arms around his waist. Immediately, his arms curled around you, but his eyes never left Kindra as she splashed in the pond and then began to crouch down to try to find some frogs.

Sometimes you swore he neared overprotective when it came to Kindra, but then again he had never been around Halfling children. All he knew was that fire elementals didn’t mix with water, and his daughter, who even if she was half-human, was half-fire elemental. The first time he had walked in on you bathing with her, he had nearly fainted.

Neither of you were going to dunk her into water when she was in her flame form...but she was old enough that she had control over switching back forth now.

You kissed the highest point on Grillby that you could, which was his chest, before releasing him. “Okay, crisis diverted, I’m going to finish up my morning chores. Are you heading to the tavern soon?”

He nodded, bending down to kiss the top of your head. Fingers gently tracing your jaw before he straightened, and moved closer to the pond. You could feel the worry that he was trying to tamp down, but you sent a soothing flow similar to the one he had just sent you, and watched as his shoulder relaxed ever so slightly.

Grillby had retired from the Royal Guard a few years back, before the two of you had even decided to have Kindra. Shortly after he had opened Home’s first tavern. He was tired of fighting, and he had found that he loved cooking and learning new recipes. Your cookbook, well it was his now too, was constantly on the counter with him scrawling the recipes that he made into it in his language. It was now a mixture of the strange Mage written language, and the Monster written language. Plus one scribbled recipe that Kindra had written for tea that Gerson had made for her.

Oh! Right, Gerson was in the city. He’d probably be at the tavern when Grillby went to open it. You’d probably swing by with Kindra if Gerson didn’t pop by your farmstead first.

If you went into the city, you’d probably pay a visit to Toriel and Asgore and see how their Egg was doing. Asriel was taking a while to hatch, but neither were worried, each Egg took its own sweet time to hatch. Riagol was a mess waiting for his grandchild, however, and complained that he would Dust before they hatched. Then what? He’d never get to meet his grandchild.

You had been on the end of a few of those rants, normally while you and Gaster were giving him an update on the latest SOUL research. Gaster had quite the humor once you got to know him...and now you didn’t have to guess why him and Vivaldi were SOULmates.

With that thought, you glanced over your shoulder to see Grillby ushering Kindra back towards the house. He gave you both kisses before heading out to the city to his day job.

The rest of the day sped by, as they all seemed to do now. You taught Kindra about human and monster history, you taught her some more magic tricks (small things to help her improve her control), and got her ‘help’ in the farm. Just before dinner, you took her into town to her father’s tavern, where she and Gerson chattered the night away, and you joked with Vivaldi and Gaster while Sans chuckled away holding onto his baby brother’s egg.

Kindra eventually got tired so you gave Gerson a kiss on the cheek, said goodbye to Viv and Gaster, and then encouraged Kindra to give everyone good night hugs. She did. Every single monster in the tavern. Who all cooed and aww’d at the little Halfling who was sleepily moving from Monster to Monster. You smiled and felt Grillby’s SOUL flare with affection.

It wasn’t a long walk back to the farmstead, and you sang Kindra to sleep along the way. Her tiny head tucked against your shoulder, one arm limp and the other loosely holding onto the neckline of your tunic. You quietly opened her bedroom door and slowly placed her into her bed. She stirred slightly, but settled quickly as you pulled her blanket up.

For a moment, you stayed with her, watching her chest rise and fall and her eyelids flutter with dreams. Memories floated to the surface, and you wiped a few tears from your cheeks before you stood up and left her to her slumber.

You entered your own bedroom and stripped down before pulling on your nightwear and slipping into bed. Grillby’s schedule varied, he normally stayed until the last patron left...and thankfully the monsters were kind enough to not eat up too much of the night. Still, sometimes you missed falling asleep with him in the bed beside you. Especially during the winters.

You were awoken by a warm arm wrapping around your waist and a strong chest pressing against your back. A soft kiss on your shoulder was followed by a trail up your neck, making a shiver roll down your spine that had nothing to do with the temperature. You gently stroked the arm around your waist and nestled back into his embrace.

“I love you,” you whispered, tilting your head so you could see him better.

“...and I, you,” he replied back just as softly. “...never thought I’d get this.”

“Me either,” you said before shifting in his arms so you were chest to chest, “I don’t know where we’d be if the war-“

He silenced you with a kiss, just a quick one, before pressing his forehead against yours. “...don’t think about that...when I do....it makes my SOUL hurt.”

You nod, foreheads brushing against each other’s lightly. “I know,” you run your hands up his chest before slipping them around his neck to pull him into another kiss. This one more heated.

There wasn’t a day that went by that you didn’t thank the Gods that the war never happened.

You didn’t want to imagine what your life would’ve been like if it did.

#grillby/reader #grillby x reader #Chasing the End #selftober #self insert #reader insert

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darcypalmer · 5 years

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interlude: drunk driver

There was a knock on the door and without even looking up, Vivien called out, “I told you I am not to be disturbed!” She was in one of her moods and she thought everyone around her at this point knew that if she was in one of her moods, disturbing her was a bad, bad idea. Whoever was on the other side of the door was extremely dumb or extremely reckless. Or both.

But instead of scurrying away, they decided to knock again, this time more careful and quieter but knocking nonetheless.

“What?“ Vivien snapped and turned towards the door, catching as it slowly opened and her right-hand woman peeked her head in. If It was Bex knocking, that meant something big happened.

In Vivien's mind that had to have meant that Genny was found.

She straightened up immediately, her posture alert, her annoyance, and anger at the disturbance disappearing immediately. They found that mindless bounty hunter and Genevieve along with him finally.

"Do we have her?" she asked, her voice stone-cold and conversational, but she was anything but. More than four years of searching - did it finally pay off?

But Bex shook her head. "Look at this," she handed her an iPad with a video already opened and ready to play. Vivien took it, went back to her desk and pressed play after she sat down. The video was a news report of a car accident. A drunk driver sped in between two towns Vivien never heard of, ran off the road and died in the accident. Nothing special, nothing she hasn't seen before, nothing that seemed important enough to bother her with.

She looked up at her friend with confusion, her annoyance rising again. She had to deal with several shipments getting derailed in the last few weeks, her father was breathing down her neck about a deal he wanted it to be signed already while she believed that she could get a better deal negotiated if she just had a little more time to squeeze the man (she had him and his family followed just in case he wouldn’t listen to reason, to show him just how far her hands were able to reach and what he might be risking), and on top of that she was on edge about the Genny situation. And now the person who was supposed to have her back and know what she needed came here to show her some news about a random drunk driver.

“What the hell is this? I don’t give a shit about this guy. He drank, he died. Happens every day. Why are you showing it to me?”

“That drunk driver is Ricky Leonard.”

Vivien immediately sat up straight. “Was--”

“Genevieve wasn’t in the car, no. He was alone.“

“Well then send somebody to get her! What are you doing telling me this? I don’t give a shit about who brings her in, Bex, I only want--”

“Viv, we can’t bring her in because she is not there.”

“You better start talking or I swear I will lose it...”

“You keep interrupting me.” Bex’s voice wasn’t snappy, wasn’t angry, instead calm and understanding. She was her oldest friend, the one person she trusted with everything. She was there through the entire relationship with Genevieve, by her side when she was so close to death she wasn’t sure she would make it. The person who helped her get out of the FBI’s clutches along with her dad and her brother.

She slumped back into her seat, rubbing her forehead as she nodded. “Fine, talk.”

“This news report was shown about a week ago. One of Ricky’s friends told us what happened after we found couldn’t reach the guy and we went looking for him. He drank a shitload and then got himself killed, nothing to be done about it. What was interesting is that all of this happened not long after he made that call to us.”

Vivien remembered that call. “I’ve got the woman... I need to get him but... fuck, I know where she is. Gon’ need a few... ugh... a few days, but I’ll bring her in. Prepare the mon-neey. I want it all in cash.” She’s been on edge ever since, waiting. Just fucking waiting.

“The whole situation felt off,” Bex continued. “Why would he drunk himself to death right after he reported that he found Genevieve? A murder felt more possible than a drunken accident, but he sounded not put together in the phone call, too, so I called ur contact in the FBI. If Genevieve was truly there, they would know. He needed a few days to get the information - turns out, the guy really was just drunk. Nothing to it, he drank and then he got himself killed. According to the autopsy, he was already shitfaced when the phone call was made. He didn’t find Genevieve, he couldn’t have found her because according to our contact, she isn’t in California. Her whereabouts are classified, but he caught a conversation about how lucky they were that it was Genevieve’s brother who was found and not Genevieve herself.”

“He found Benjamin?”

“It seems that way. Wanna know what I think?” Vivien nodded. “He found the guy in some public place, so he couldn’t take him right away. He figured he’d go and celebrate and in his drunken haze he thought he’d drop Genevieve into the mix, think we might pay more before we even see the person he got. Or he was just too drunk to even realize what he was saying. He then got in the car and drove and killed himself and now Benjamin Soto was reassigned to some new place we don’t know about.”

“So we’re back to square one.”

“Seems that way.”

One, two, three moments Vivien stared at Bex in silence, and then she grabbed the iPad and threw it against the wall, the device crashing and breaking as soon as it connected to the wall. Bex didn’t flinch, didn’t bat an eye. She’s seen worse from her friend before.

“We’ll find her.”

“You’ve been saying that for four years now,” Vivien growled.

“Which means I ought to be right at some point, don’t you think?” Bex’s voice was light, teasing, trying to coax Vivien out of her dark mood. The woman appreciated it, but it wasn’t working. Not now, anyway.

“I need to make some phone calls, Bex,” Vivien sighed.

Bex nodded and headed for the door, but lingered in the doorway for a moment. “Are you going to be okay?”

“Of course I will. Thanks.“ Bex nodded and left, quietly closing the door behind herself.

Vivien stayed there, staring at the door, her minds running a mile a minute about where Genevieve must be in that moment, what she was doing, if she knew how close they got to her brother. This is the closest they’ve gotten to her or anyone in her family in over four years. Well, aside from her father murdering her sister in retaliation of ratting out Vivien and to make sure nobody in the family would talk, most importantly not Genevieve. It took Vivien several months once she regained some of her strength to convince her father that it couldn’t have been Genny who ratted her out because the woman didn’t know a single thing about her work, her family, what she did and didn’t do.

Which is what was so amazing about being with Genny - the woman didn’t look at her and saw the mob boss, she just saw somebody whom she deemed worth loving. And in her experience, when Genevieve Soto decided somebody was worth loving, she did it with all of her. It was overwhelming at first, but she figured she’d stuck around, have her own fun for a bit and then once she got tired of the woman, like she always did, she’d just leave. Genny wouldn’t have to know a thing.

Only, she never got tired of her, but the secrets stayed. Vivien never even considered telling the woman about herself because she knew the moment she did, Genevieve Soto would be out of her life.

And now she had somebody else waiting for her at home, somebody who knew everything about her and still loved her and supported her, and yet she was getting pissed about her hopes of finding Genevieve falling apart and she couldn’t tell if it was simply because she wanted to see her or because she wanted to make sure Genevieve wouldn’t be allowed to testify against her.

Probably a little bit of both.

#——interlude (drunk driver)

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zward95 · 3 years

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11/16/2020

Don Otto Ward Jr. AKA Donnie Baseball

1/11/1970 - 11/15/2020

“He will be cremated and scattered everywhere that I know was special to him. From the pitcher's mound at Morton to Hohokam park in Arizona where he played in the adult world series. And some will be left with his mom and dad....not sure the full details. He failed to stop at a stop sign and was hit. They're doing an autopsy to see if maybe he had a heart attack or something” Bobbi-Jo Ward-Herron.”

I can’t believe that you passed away… there is so much I want to say but idk if anything needs to be said. This grief has been different than anything I have experienced before….. There is so much hurt, and sadness for what never was……...I feel guilty and stupid for having good memories of you, because of all that you did… but it is not my duty to tarnish your reputation in the eyes of others, because you did a lot of good. By the ENORMOUS outpouring of care, that part is obvious. You touched the lives of hundreds upon hundreds of people in positive ways. You were the best coach that hundreds of kids ever experienced, you invited everyone in the community over as if they were family. You were willing to learn how to play chess from a 3rd grader and looking on the internet, so their elementary school could have a good coach. You were supportive of all the different things we did; even if you didn’t understand it, you tried. You were known as the best umpire and the human rulebook by friends and angry fans alike. You took pride in your work, and more pride in the fun you could have while doing it. You loved wildly and exuberantly and expressed it with your time, and with your many...many...words. You showed that it was okay to have many facets: band, science, math, sports, emotions, reading, fantasy, D&D, dirt, cars, tools, dogs, food. You showed the importance in questioning things around you, and how important it is to search for your own answers. That it's better to be wrong about something, because then you learned something. You also beat and traumatized your children, would beat and dehumanize other people to let out your aggression, neglected the wishes of your family, chose drugs and freedom over your children, and showed the dangers of utter selfishness. All of these things are true, for your mixed up, funny, dark, drug rampit, baseball loving life. You actively strived to be the biggest asshole in the room, but also be the funniest guy in the room, so everyone would still want you around. You were so socially skilled that you could both bring out the best and the worst of everyone in a room depending on your mood, yet so awkward, you intentionally ignored your impact on the people around you, as to dodge responsibility.

All the happy loving messages from people are nice, and they are just trying to share in the grief and express their sympathies; but they have made me angry at times. Angry for Matt, who has to see all these people with great memories of you caring and showing love and him never getting to have it. Anger for all the times I was held by the throat and slapped for sobbing, which only made it worse. Anger for all the verbal and psychological torment you put upon me and Chris. Anger for the neglect Matt felt. I haven’t put that to words before but that’s what he is feeling…. Because he was never able to see that great person that is held in the social consciousness of sooooo many people… We only have the guy who would brag about his sex parties to his children, that brought criminals and druggies into his family home and got our house robbed because of his negligence, who cussed out all three of his children, said he didn’t give a shit about them and just would rather not be a dad. Stuck with the memories of me spending weekend after weekend driving back to Hammond to try and protect my family from my dad. He was the guy who, post the divorce, my only contact was to get weed; because I am broke and dealing with my health issues, and he had the best prices. There is so much anger there, because for all the happy stories, he kind of mentally broke us all, and none of us were given that closure. Matt specifically, because he had always held on to the hope that he would one day be able to experience the kind father that so many people say existed at one time.

But for me, beneath all that active anger is a true sadness. Growing up you were my best friend for a long time, as my dad, my coach in EVERYTHING, and I can say now also as my abuser. I think we need to see all the good and bad together and it's okay to acknowledge all the good. He was a great coach that invested greatly in the children of the community. He actively tried to bring everyone into the fold of what we called family. He is the reason I have such a love for debate, because I spent most of my childhood figuring out how to form a good argument, and how to defend that position quickly, because otherwise you would get steamrolled by the personality and the continuous firehose of words that constantly flowed from his endlessly moving lips. He showed me that in order to adapt and work with everyone, it is best to be a jack of all trades so you can help everyone. He loved sports and fixing things and shaped my sense of humor. All three of us siblings have the same eating habits as him, which is one thing I would argue he was right about. He showed that life can be fun, while you are still taking care of business.

He was the Dad to all the kids in the neighborhood who did not have a father figure who was around, and I think that is why it is so hard for us, all of us, because he did all that… and then he didn’t…..

And it hurts to know that it just all fell away, and there is no changing that. It is a little hard for all of us, because IDK if I ever wanted to be friends with him again, but DAMMIT I WANTED TO PUNCH HIM ONE MORE TIME lmao. He would have laughed at that, and happily taken an assbeating if it meant we forgave him though……. Idk if that's true... But he said it before and I kind of believed it….

I truly believe that my father could have been better had he not intentionally thrown caution to the wind when it came to mental health and preventative care. When he started going to therapy, he then would come back from therapy and tell me how great it was to talk with a sexy woman, and that he was really thinking he could just turn those into sex visits. I was frustrated to hear that, because it meant that he did not want to follow through. And the horrible moments when he confirmed that he achieved his goals. He knew his own issues, but thought it easier to highlight everyone else’s issues, instead of address his own. He felt that he could not change, and he was who he was, so he might as well drag everyone down with him, and laugh on the way down….. That’s the sad part of it all.. None of us brothers were surprised to hear he passed. We each had different theories of how it might happen, and during darker moments how we really really hoped it would happen, and would make sure it did if there was uncertainty. It just feels sad, because all the anger comes from experience and wanting the craziness to stop, not from a personal hate, but from watching him change and hurt people. We all had wanted him to keep getting help and to try and address the anger, rage, sadness, anxiety, and self-defeating thoughts that ate him up, and came out in those bouts of fury. And, to some extent, I think all of us held on to the hope that it would still happen, that he would apologize and there would be a big fallout, and then years later he would show up at the parties with Bobbi after getting over being shunned for his dick move; or he might actively come to apologize and make amends, because we had all shut him out due to caution from being burned previously… and none of that happened… and that is sad… because I know it hurt him.

Death and Grief makes me think of theatre and the idea of comedy/tragedy. All the different emotions flying around at the same time: happy, fury, hate, contentment, laughter, sadness, disgust, disrespect, anger, love, melancholy, wistfulness, and all of them are there. The tragedy is that this all happened, that the issues weren’t resolved, that my father is passed and we are left having to deal with all the good and the bad that he did in the world, without a person for whom to direct our feelings. We all just get to sit and deal with our shit. But One thing I do know is that Donnie Baseball loves a good joke. He told them endlessly to anyone who would listen, and whether anyone laughed, or if it was a good joke, made no matter as to whether he enjoyed it. So I know there is comedic spin to it, one that my brother Matt pointed out. He now has to answer to his Mom and Dad, Nana Viv & Bonka Don, for all his bad behavior. And I can only imagine their response when they hear what he did to their house, and to their grandchildren. lol

RIP Donnie Baseball - but I know Viv won’t give you any peace for a while still.

11/17/2020

“He died of blunt force trauma. He either fell asleep or was choking on his chew and morning phlegm and went into the drainage ditch at about 50. He didn't suffer. But if he'd been wearing his seatbelt he'd still be here. Just broken.”

“Well he's had 5 seatbelt tickets in the 5 years we've been together. There's definitely a pattern there” Bobbi-Jo

It is incredible, even to the very end just swimming in irony. He spent his life trying to teach others how to live better, and was the best coach, yet died because he wouldn’t take his own advice. Just buckle your seatbelt. Likely still stoned, waking up in the morning, enjoying his chew, he passed away painlessly. Everyone is sad by this because it is not the death anyone felt he deserved, yet it is pretty much exactly what he wanted. He had talked to me about driving off a bridge and ending it painlessly, and doing something he loved and he did just that.

There is still a lot of anger for Bobbi within me. I know there is more within my brothers because they saw the actual actions and impact she had on him. And yet, She is broken and sad now. They were toxic and not great people, yet they made eachother happy, and were willing to work toward each other's happiness with a desire to understand. I don’t think I can say they were an ideal pair, or they were good for eachother, but they loved each other. They each knew love within the other. And it is sad to watch someone lose their lover. And I am glad that there is someone who will mourn and grieve him like he should, and to direct that process of dropping off his ashes, but damn… But that anger again comes from the desire for him to change, and the childish notion that “she changed him” which I know to be wrong and not how things work. Now it is just a process of trying to move forward. She still had a strong hand in the collapse of our family system, but that was instigated by him; and she did try to show love and affection to us, to an extent. She doesn’t deserve the anger…. She is a sad woman whose lover has passed away….

Everything is crazy, I am both happy and sad that you are gone. I am thankful you didn’t hurt, yet I still wish you could appreciate the hurt you caused. You taught innumerable life lessons to likely thousands of kids by modeling both what you should, and what you shouldn’t, do at different times... Our biggest arguments would fall back to the idea of living in a world of black and white, right and wrong, as to living in a world of gray. I argued that there was no completely good or bad, no complete right or wrong and you’d disagreed. You were very binary in your beliefs, this or that, one or the other, which is utterly baffling, considering that you LIVED in the gray area. So here we are, left living in this world and having to acknowledge all the different shades of black and white within your life. And for me, idk if I can call any of it good or bad anymore….And I wish I wasn’t right…. But this world of gray is important, and just because it's a gray world does not mean we won’t enjoy it.

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r0sequarks · 7 years

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lots of thoughts about secret empire below the cut

so from the start, while i wasn’t overjoyed with the concept, i didn’t find it to bad. captain america being a nazi didn’t give me the ‘what the hell’ thoughts. it made me think ‘well there’s a sign steve won’t be supplanting sam as captain america’ and ‘i wonder where this will go’. i was mostly ambivalent, pleasantly optimistic that sam would be able to stay the real captain america.

and then there was the immediate discussions about that, to which i thought: he was literally just cosmic cubed, this is a cosmic cube change obviously; steve rogers isn’t captain america, sam wilson is, we had this whole big argument, remember that; and, wow, there’s some mcu fans who are talking about bucky as a reason hydra cap is bad, what the actual fuck.

the actual event book was mediocre. i loved spencer on superior foes of spider-man, but his serious stuff is meh. the basic idea for what he wanted (heroes rising up in rebellion, the government is nazis) could have been breathtaking if not for the fact his writing was mediocre (90% dumb fetch quest (although i liked the ultron bit) and dull, overextended speeches) and the press releases were shit.

to note: magneto was not at any point a member of hydra. he made a kind of ooc deal with hydra which gave the mutants a safe haven in exchange for his promise not to attack, and got the head of the red skull in a box. it wasn’t super in character, more a reason to wipe a character who was too overpowered off the map. dumb, but made logistical sense. i know that whenever magneto is in play i tend to imagine him ripping everything to shreds with a flick of the wrist, so i understand needing him out of the way. and i really like the idea of magneto starting a collection of nazi heads in boxes.

the nazis didn’t originally win, the world as it is wasn’t cosmic cubed. hydra cap was never worthy. these were all figments brought in for hydra steve’s benefit. it was a bad plot element, but worse in the fact they didn’t ever clarify it. maybe it was meant to be up to interpretation? bullshit.

in the side stuff, there was a lot of good character beats and concepts, and a lot of poor ones as well. inside the darkforce/outside the shield had some interesting stuff but nothing outstanding. mostly just enforcing a plot device brought in to take some heavy hitters out of play.

the x-men stuff was weak. new tian was dumb, and the blue stuff utterly skippable. the gold stuff was literally skipping it, i’ll note - they have some minor darkforce in the background and that’s it. i have mixed feelings about emma’s role. i like her characterization as the sort of person who would sell her soul to keep fighting, but how well she actually came through was very hit and miss. she was literally the only interesting thing in all of new tian.

the inhumans stuff was excellent. secret warriors was a great team. the concept felt more suited to some mutant stuff, but i understand why they switched it up and it genuinely worked. most compelling stuff of the run by far.

i loved the champions stuff. it was a great line up. like with all of champions, the idea is better than the execution (i hate the writing on that book so much). some of the set ups were wonderful, but in the middle of the beautiful issue with the kids in the ruins of vegas, they call hydra ‘the epitome of white privelege’ and like, while correct, you can just call them nazis.

yeah. please, please just call them nazis. let people say they’re facists, let people say they’re nazis, and stop saying otherwise. you’re literally choosing nazi imagery and setting up concentration camps. yeah. that’s dumb as hell. if this is what you want, just go with it all the way.

uh, what else.

wanda’s treatment was bad, but it’s very typical. her getting possessed is a plot device to take the reality warper out of the equation, but by now it’s so cliche. there were other things you could have done. i would have just trapped her in the darkforce sphere, to be honest. and having a jewish/romani character with nazi imagery? dude.

vision was bad too. why the hell did he have to be there? he got no character. i think he made out with cthon and there was a bit with viv? utterly useless. i did kind of like the thor thing. at his current mental state, following the man he thinks can lift the hammer where he can’t makes sense. could have been better written, but he was the only hydra avenger i could even begin to care about. then again, he was the only one with any personality.

i thought i was going to like the black panther stuff (his giant colossal ‘fuck you, you’ll never take wakanda’ thing) and while i understand his defeat was supposed to show how overpowered hydra was, i just called bullshit. wakanda could beat their asses every day of the week. that was dumb as hell.

natasha and her death were interesting. i wouldn’t say good, but this whole story had this mini-arc with her becoming a mentor to the champions (a relationship i adored), and simultaneously not wanting them to become like her and needing them to become more like her to survive was interesting (if not always written the best). her death was really more about miles instead of herself, but it wasn’t a bad death. i think it was very noble, in the end. and as much as i wanted miles to kill hydra cap, i liked his story too. everyone has their own boundaries for violence and murder, and i’ll respect the fact he doesn’t want to cross that line. i know she’ll come back, and i wish it was more focused around herself, but it was the end of this arc. she became a mentor, and she died teaching that lesson and saving those kids. it could have been better, but it wasn’t bad.

sharon was interesting. a lot of the time she was just a bouncing off for steve so he didn’t need to do those monologues on his own, but it made a character who had never been interesting to me really pop. the art for her in the main book added to that too. i’ll note there were problems, but i genuinely did like her.

overall, i think, the story was just too cliche and obvious to be genuinely good. the only genuine surprises were when bucky showed up and when natasha died. i caught every beat and every trick. cosmic cube, quasar, the alternate steve, what should have felt like a cool ‘i guessed right’ moment felt more like ‘so you’re doing that then. not surprised’. again, the whole thing was super mediocre. a lot of t he rising hope thing in the 9th issue could have been beautiful, but spencer fell short on a lot of it. still, i’ll admit, it got an emotional reaction out of me, it was only on the second read i became critical.

it doesn’t look like it will have to big of a lasting impact (some minor team additions but that’s it honestly) except in the cases of captain america. and also steve rogers.

it ends with the big steve on steve fight everyone knew would happen, and then steve hands the shield over to sam to be captain america, which was pleasantly surprising because i had the nasty feeling that steve would come back as the main captain america, or even remain as one of two captain americas. instead, we go back to it being just sam, and what i hope is steve laying low and fixing his reputation for at least a few years. in the end, it’s exactly what i thought. hydra steve means that sam’s position as captain america isn’t going to be directly threatened.

for that final fight, i wished that sam would have been there instead of steve. i get that it’s supposed to be the two complete equals, to show that good > evil, but i just wanted to watch hydra steve get punched by sam. a lot. basically i wanted more sam. it should have been his story, not the steve/tony/bucky show. still, he’s still captain america, which was all i really wanted from the end to be honest.

tldr;

it could have been better, it could have been worse, in the end it was mediocre, with some dull writing in the main book (although, awesome art, which is what makes it readable). on par for most events. i wish there were less events, but hey, money was made, and in the end that’s what the industry is there for. i feel the need to make ‘it’s not bad, it’s just boring’ buttons.

and next up we have marvel legacy. i’m liking the generations stories, happy for the return to classic numbering, and optimistic / worried about how it’ll be affecting legacy characters. they aren’t all going away, it looks, but i’m consistently paranoid about that.

#secret empire #some badly-organized ramblings

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