#I’m a walking contradiction

[archaiclullaby]

This world is full of poets

You were a chorus unto yourself

You were my favorite poem

Now that seems as all you are

#this isn’t art #I don’t miss you #i missed you so much #I’m a walking contradiction #this isn’t poetry #it’s late #i’m just ranting #i’m upset #i’m not a poet #i’m gonna cry #i’m done #too angsty #why did i make this #ew gross

[srsly-srcstc]

And it’s awful, you know?

To finally have to say it out loud because you just cannot let it keep circling around in your head like that - blue ray box on the tv screen, never quite hitting the corner, never quite seting with the rest of your thoughts. You have to say it out loud, and then - and then -

You have to change something.

And it’s horrible - I’ll love me more in two weeks, two months, two years, but tonight I have to pull out the shears and cut off pieces of my flesh, torn and damaged by birds or wind or the wandering hands of the people who came to look and did more than just that. I’ll cut them and hope they grow in again, pretty and green and new and this time there will be wire between them and me, this time there will be glass, this time there will be a space so wide they cannot cross, this time-

I will be so, so alone, but I’ll do it anyway because one day

one day

one day I won’t be seventeen anymore and it will be

Beautiful.

#writing #srsly/s #spilled ink #talking talking #because no one tells you the heartache of seventeen #I hate everyone I know and I wish they loved me anyway #studying isn’t even the hardest part anymore #I want so desperately to be liked but I refuse to be acknowledged #I’m a walking contradiction #desi tumblr #do I even count as desi #cue identity crisis

[baekk-hhyun]

I like being single but I also don’t

#I’m a walking contradiction #I’m not good at commitment #but I don’t like the idea of being with more than one person #of course I mean being honest and talking with the other person

[miscreantbread]

someone told me they have feelings for me and i am 100% serious when i say if i’ve ever told u that i’m so sorry did u get like secondhand embarrassment too lol

#like literally whyyyyy would you say that shit #“transparency and honesty and straightforwardness #shuuuut up and give me that bad communication babey #just kidding don’t do that #i’m a walking contradiction #dyl rambles

[firethekitty]

very unpopular trigun fandom opinion but. i really Don’t like when people write/draw wolfwood as being genuinely religious. like wearing rosary and praying every night and saying grace before eating and shit. HE SHOOTS PEOPLE AND KILLS THEM and smokes and drinks and curses and wears his collar as wide open as possible and is a Literal Hitman who was kidnapped by a religious cult as a child. do you guys sincerely believe he’s a good christian boy or something

#like he has an Extremely complicated relationship with religion #we do see him turn to god multiple times in trimax so i think he does believe in god to an extent #and of course the official cross choker art #but. that’s pretty much as far as his faith goes. and i feel like. idk the Point of his character is a walking contradiction #he’s a ‘priest’ but he wears his collar open to show off his chest and yknow Literally Kills People #and it’s hard to imagine he would think of religion as anything but both a mental and literal physical burden on him #but he also does manage to find his own kind of ‘religion’ in both vash and the orphanage. similar to how vash doesn’t believe in god but #more so in humans and their ability to do good. well anyway #talking #trigun #trimax #(disclaimer i have not watched tri98 so i’m saying all this in terms of trimax characterization)

[loverjareau]

so i ranked the teams! (matt rempe i am coming to save you from the fuckass rangers i promise)

#toronto maple leafs #colorado avalanche #new jersey devils #montreal canadiens #philadelphia flyers #vancover canucks #i’m a walking contradiction during any bruins leafs game #ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY HAVE SWAY AND WOLLER AS THE GOALIES #like which pookie do i root for :/

[reliquaryofflesh]

Oh.

Oh okay it is kind of addictive, huh?

Well, shit, lmao. At least it’s just mild I suppose. Not the first time I’ve gotten pent up and irritable but the circumstances are kinda funny ngl.

“Grr I wanna sustain an injury, I’m so jealous of the person in this image who has injuries like the kind I enjoy, wish I and/or my boyfriend could make me look like that” <- internal monologue of a normal human

#reliquaryofflesh #the reverend speaks #among another thing I won’t elaborate on but that’s nothing compared to the injury yearning #I’m sure it’s fine. I’ll probably be fine. #t4t k1nk #blo0d kink #blood k!nk #knife k!nk #knife k1nk #automasochist #tw sh related #tw sh ideation #all things considered I’m pretty decent mentally I thought? #idk why I’m like this now lmao #I’ve been corrupted :3 #it’s not that funny objectively speaking but c’mon #also why wasn’t I like this 10 years ago with my ex #i’m a walking moral contradiction lol

[archersgaymerblog]

Morrowind moments I desperately want to hyperanalyze but feel like I don’t have the language to do so: When the Nerevarine asks Vivec if they remember being mortal, and they say “For me — there is no more feeling. Only knowing.” And then a literal written [Pause] before Vivec says they do want to win though, not for their people, but because “To lose would be very, very bitter.” And how those two paragraphs alone shaped Vivec’s character for me more than anything else they said or did during that confrontation, as I felt it was one of the few moments we saw Vivec being completely, brutally, honest.

#my dumb textposts #LONG TAGS #coupled with the fact that right after you ask them how they feel about their people #and suddenly go on to say they love their people after literally JUST saying they no longer have the capacity to care for them #Vivec is a walking bundle of contradiction and is one of the most compelling and interesting characters in TES imo. voryn is also Up There #how the two of them counteract each other during the nerevarine’s story is also very compelling to me #Vivec describes dagoth ur as a deceiver and manipulator who will seek to deceive the nerevarine. however by all accounts- #-dagoth ur is TERRIFYINGLY honest towards the nerevarine. he gives what I believe is the most accurate rendition of the events that- #occurred on red mountain after the war. Vivec on the other hand carries themself as only incredibly honest and truthful - #- even going so far as to claim they eradicated the idea of the contradiction in their sermons. but Vivec just IS a contradiction.- #-their godhood (and the godhood of the other tribunal) is built on the foundation of a lie that they desperately tried to suppress as- #-they grew weaker in power. they claim to be honest but lie to your face. in their most honest rendition of the events of red mountain they- #-don’t even MENTION nerevar’s passing (the written account taken from their library). it’s just implied that Nerevar died and they don’t- #-touch on HOW it happened. and in my mind I read that as like. they know what happened. but this is an honest retelling. but they couldn’t- #-tell the truth but they wouldn’t outright lie either. so they just didn’t mention nerevar’s death at /all./ #idk where I’m going with the tags just. Vivec is so gd interesting. in all their complexities and super moral grayness. #and hey - I recognize others might not see the events the same. Morrowind is a game of unreliable narrators!! it’s about piecing- #-the story together in a way that gives you and your character the most closure. there’s no hard truth or right answer. #there isn’t a bug evil dragon labeled the Most Evilest Dragon for you to defeat. it’s a story where even after finishing it… there’s a- #-sense of like. did you really do what was best? is this land that is now your responsibility going to prosper from your actions? #and honest to god the fact that Skyrim comes in and says ‘It doesn’t.’ is fucking RIVETING. YOU WERE A DAEDRA PLOY THE WHOLE TIME!! #AZURA DIDNT CARE SHE JUST WANTED REVENGE. AND NOW YOU LIVE WITH THAT FOREVER BECAUSE OF THE CORPRUS THAT YOU WERE DESTINED BY HER TO GET. #FUCKING STELLAR WRITING I LOVE MORROWIND #I HAVE TO GET TO SLEEP I HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW. ITS JUST ONE CLASS BUT ITS EARLY SO

[archaiclullaby]

I love you said he

Forever to said she

Is that few? Said he

Till the sun said she

Will you run? Said he

If it’s fun said she

#why did i make this #this isn’t poetry #why did i spend time on this #i don’t like myself #i’m upset #i’m not a poet #i miss his face #i missed you so much #i don’t like him #but i still love him #I’m a walking contradiction #it’s late #my bad my bad

[riotgrrrlhole]

Me : im gonna work more ! , my work hours are too little and I need to be more productive

*gets more patients and work *

Me : omg im gonna fail , omg it’s too much *nine inch nails hurts starts playing

#sometimes I hate the walking contradiction I am #i am like oh f it’s too much now I’m overwhelmed with responsibility and the feeling of failing them all #work stuff

[overbearingstruggles]

This is very good

#definitely skews older than your average atl fan but the convos are obv v relevant #I’m forever a walking contradiction with how much I care about this stuff considering. welp

[wastedunicorn]

People think I’m Native American mix or a white and black mix but I’m just Dominican lol

#when they hear my name they think I’m Russian or polish #a walking contradiction #txt

[callixton]

sorry for being insane about this play that genuinely 0 people care abt but what i would give for an explicitly queer interpretation of this ohh my god

anyway i cannot in good faith recommend this to everyone bc i know some people will find it boring but uhhh you should read it anyway. also i made a playlist ://

#it’s abt the one person who you know in the world who is Like You leaving #it’s about idealism and dissolution and trying so hard in the face of certain denial #anyway i think andrey fell in love with him and that’s not why he left but it’s part of why he needed to #i wouldn’t even call anything in this play subtext but that being said #there Is no part of the text that contradicts it and i think that it is a stronger narrative as a gay love story #so i’m right <3 #also for the record bc i like you is not the confession but whether i am dead or not kind of is #ted talks #a walk in the woods

[sevikasleftpussyflap]

🦊

Aww what how 😭

Look I’m not scary

#I’m offended at the 🐭 🐰 but shocked at the 🦊 🐻 #walking contradiction I am #Ty for answering <3

[dex-starr]

I am just staring off into space today it’s been a while since it’s been this bad lol

#shut up pls dex #like I’m just not present at all and I don’t want to be #I want to cancel my plans but I can’t #I want to vanish off the face of the earth and just rest but I want company too #I am a walking contradiction rn

[peapod20001]

Sometimes I think about the girl in like 7th grade who was a furry and drew furries boinking it and apparently SO many people saw it and they were telling me about it and all I could think was how I, probably the only other open furry at school, wasn’t shown these

#random post #we were friends too! she was the one who acted as a bodyguard in the bathroom after some chick threw milk in me #but I digress. anyways she was. how u say. very ‘developed’ for being in the 7th grade and that was smth ELSE ppl talked about #anyways I think of her when I design younger girl ocs cus I often forget that not everyone was built like a hand puppet like me LOL #she was nice. she moved before high school and I never saw her again. I hope she’s doin good for herself :3 #I will never not find it funny how if u saw my yearbook photos from 2009-now. I look exactly the same #except that one from like first grade. cus my hair was parted different and I was wearing a denim jacket and someone told me I smile with #too much gum so as spite (and maybe self consciousness a bit) I smiled in a way that hid my gums #but OBVIOUSLY it looked weird. I had an overbite I SMILED BIG TOOTHY WITH GUMS. I point and laugh at it cus that’s the only time that has #happened lmao. I like to spite people. like in primary school when there was a lesson on like manners?? and we were told to sit like a lady #with legs crossed at the ankles with our knees together?? and in true 5 year old fashion. I tapped my classmates arm and told them to look #at my protest. which was me man spreading LMAO proud moment. I’ll sit how I want that you very much Texas school system 👌🥰 #I keep getting off topic I apologize but also I don’t cus I’m a walking contradiction. anyways the school didn’t know proper picture day #routines for a few years lol. like making the wear neon spirit day the same day as pictures (and the picture day reminder telling us not to #wear neon LMFAO) or when kids would have gym class and THEN take pictures all red and sweaty. my hair was fucking ROUGH after that lol like #a very small braided tumbleweed in my head. still cute tho obviously but you would think people in charge of educating would have at least #SOME thoughts about things before they do them. lmfao got off topic again but that’s ok <3