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#IVE BEEN SO CURIOUS ABOUT HER
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HGLEP ME EVERYONE CHEERING ABHSFEDHASJEFNNJ I DONT EXPECT ANYTHING TO COME OUT OF THIS REALLY MAYBE SHE’LL WAVE AT ME IN THE HALLS BUT IDK IF SHED WANNA BE MY FRIEND
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no-light-left-on · 6 months
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Jessamine's design has always intrigued me. the stark, full black suit and tall collar are pretty obvious status symbols. black was for the longest time an incredibly expensive colour of fabric due to how difficult it was to achieve proper rich blackness during the dyeing process and the collar, while most likely just a trend in Dunwall fashion inspired by the 1890s high collars can be read as lace, especially in some concept art, which is hard to care for and needs to be starched to hell and back to keep nice and stiff for a collar like that
but what I find a lot more curious about this is that the clothes appear very much inspired by Spanish renaissance fashion
which, honestly, would make sense with the real world inspiration. 19th century was obsessed with the past, with the romanticized medieval and renaissance times, and it was quite common to see fashion inspired by times long past (I mean, just look at Worth. the man invented haute couture and there is so much influence of medieval and Elisabethan fashion in his designs). it was also a thing for rich families to just kinda... invest in recreations of historical pieces of clothing and LARP in them.
Jessamine's clothes, in particular, reminded me of Spanish court dresses. especially of the portraits of Anne of Austria and Elisabeth of Valois
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obsessed with those slit sleeves. too bad Jessamine didn't go the extra mile to have the sleeves hang long and heavy around her arms but they were more form fitting
there is also something to be said about the tall white (possibly starched lace) collar and the style of clasps used on her clothes
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the mini cape thing she has on top is more similar to the style of capes worn by men in renaissance, but yeah, of course she reminded me of a Spanish princess when this is one of the most given example portraits for this style
I wonder if this was an intentional choice on the designer's side or if they were just inspired by the revivalism present in 19th century fashion. what really makes me consider that though is that one of her earlier designs has those sleeves much, Much more pronounced and obvious
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oh the things that could have been...
still, it makes me wonder: if this was intentional, what does this tell us about Jessamine, and the history of the Isles themselves?
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wonder-worker · 6 months
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"The newly widowed Elizabeth (Woodville) was exceptionally vulnerable. Several of the trustees responsible for her jointure refused to hand over the manors that were meant to sustain her in her widowhood. Moreover, her brother-in-law, Edward Grey, had seized estates that her son Thomas should have inherited from his paternal grandfather, while her mother-in-law’s new young husband, Sir John Bourchier, had prevailed on Lady Ferrers to settle her principal properties on them jointly for life, ensuring that Thomas would have to wait far longer for this inheritance too. Rivers and Scales were pardoned in July 1461 and swiftly moved into the Yorkist establishment, which perhaps explains the success of the chancery suits Elizabeth launched to regain her jointure. Her son’s inheritance proved harder to recover. By 1463, Rivers was often in (Edward IV's) company and on his council, but Elizabeth needed someone with much stronger influence over the King. She turned to a distant kinsman, William, Lord Hastings, the King’s chamberlain. Hastings drove a very hard bargain for his aid but it was probably amid these negotiations that the King’s desire for Elizabeth was kindled."
-J.L. Laynesmith, "Elizabeth Woodville: the Knight's Widow", "Later Plantagenet and Wars of the Roses Consorts: Power, Influence, and Dynasty"
#historicwomendaily#elizabeth woodville#Elizabeth really had terrible in-laws#And these people weren't even the worst of them - that particular award goes to Richard of Gloucester#As complicated as her first widowhood sounds it was a breeze compared to the literal nightmare she went through during her second.#Honestly though: part me wonders what Elizabeth's first marriage was like because we know absolutely nothing about it.#The marriage itself is a blank slate but the fact that her husband's parents & siblings were so indifferent and uncooperative#to her - and their own kid-grandchildren?? - after he died indicates that his family may have been rather dysfunctional imo?#Certainly they (or most of them) don't seem to have cared about the wellbeing or dignity of his young and newly widowed wife which#doesn't exactly suggest closeness or support during the marriage itself from their end.#Elizabeth doesn't mention John Gray in her deathbed will either though she mentions Edward IV. She may have thought it was#'inappropriate' to mention her first husband beside her significantly higher-ranked second husband...but she DOES mention her son by#her first marriage - which would have drawn attention to it anyway - alongside her royal daughter so that's unlikely to have been a reason.#Maybe it was simply the passage of time? She and John had been married for very few years and she lived such a different life after that#So it's possible that her first marriage simply seemed very distant and faraway to her.#Alternatively it may have simply been undivided affection for Edward IV (her husband of 19 years who she married for love)#which fits well into the relatively personal nature of her will.#Of course we don't actually know anything about any of this and this is all pure wild speculation on my end...but I'm curious.#It's really a shame how little we actually know about Elizabeth's life - made worse by the very limited primary records of Edward IV's#reign and the fact that his chamber records don't survive. And it's even more frustrating that this is so rarely actually acknowledged#by historians. I'd argue we know far more about the life & interests of most other 'prominent' women of the Wars of the Roses#(sans the Neville sisters) than we do about Elizabeth Woodville.
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citrlet · 12 days
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very sad this morning seeing Ryan and Shane leaving youtube to start yet another exclusive subscription service :/
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catzgam3rz · 9 months
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April 30th VOD already is amazing but special little pain having Phil teleport from Fit’s place and be looking directly at the #1 Dad picture while all the children have vanished <3
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bluejaybytes · 5 months
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show us your oc lore!!
I'm so sorry but it's exclusively my Splatoon OCs
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I'm not at ALL confident in how legible this is, but this is my Web Of Lesbianism(tm), AKA how (almost) all of my lesbian sploon OCs connect to each other, excluding a few who only connect in small places and/or I don't feel like making icons for. Sorry to Scarlet, who absolutely warrants a place here, but I simply Do Not Want to make an icon for </3
Lore under the readmore because I get extremely rambly. whoops and apologies and this is probably the only time i'll ever let myself get THIS infodump-y in a Tumblr post. I'm writing this after I wrote it all out and I'm so fucking sorry it's literally over 2k words because I have no ability to stop once I've started and I've been outright POSSESSED by these losers for the past month. Here's basically everything about my Splatoon OCs
FOR NAMES. Top right is Basil (Blue tentacles), middle right is Penny (Her name is just written because I haven't drawn her yet), bottom right is June (Pink tentacles), bottom middle is Jake (Blue tentacles), bottom left is Parker (Purple tentacles, also the sanitized icon), middle left is Ruby (Orange tentacles), and top left is May (Pink tentacles)
Everything starts when May, Jake, and Ruby are all around ~16-17, while June, May's little sister, is around ~9. May is VERY into Jake, and Jake's just generally a big flirt and a huge romantic, though it's unsure if he really realizes May's extremely obvious crush on him (He doesn't), or he reciprocates, which is unfortunate, because Ruby, who's May's childhood best friend, is also very into her, but May doesn't realize this. When [UNDECIDED EVENT] happens and May and Jake both come to the realization they need to head to the surface to escape the oppressive Octarian domes, Ruby being with them is very clearly an afterthought, and she knows it. So, her jealousy over Jake being someone May has known for less time yet clearly loves more than her, and the fact that trying to escape being very, very illegal, she turns them both in.
Jake manages to call May before he's caught to warn her that Ruby turned them in and the cops will already be heading to her parents house, which gives May enough time to run home, grab June, and make a run for it. Both May and Jake manage to outrun the cops, with May and June ending up far into the outskirts of the domes, while Jake only gets further and deeper within them.
Around a month or two after their initial escape, May's spotted by a patrol of soldiers stationed right around the way to the surface, with the soldier who spots her specifically being Scarlet, the oldest sister to Ruby (Who's not featured here because I don't want to make her icon), who remembers May from when she was a kid and, alongside that, has been feeling disillusioned with life as a soldier, despite her high ranking, and decides not only to let May go, but to even share rations with her. This only increases as Scarlet realizes May is the runaway who's known to have a young child with her, and it goes from Scarlet sparing her own rations to stealing rations from the squad she leads to make sure both May and June are able to eat properly.
Of course, this doesn't last long, as Crimson, the middle sister to Scarlet and Ruby, and fellow soldier stationed with Scarlet's squad, gets suspicious of the missing rations, Scarlet's dismissal of the issue, and her wandering off frequently, and ends up following her and finds her giving the stolen rations to May. A fight breaks out between the two, with Crimson managing to nearly take Scarlet's eye out in the process, as Scarlet's the only person ever to bring a gun to a knife fight and lose. May booked it the MOMENT Crimson jumped out, so she's long gone by the time the scuffle ends, but Scarlet, having just been caught stealing rations, aiding a runaway, and now attacking a fellow soldier (Even if in self defense), bolts to try and make it to the surface as well, albeit she doesn't know where May ran off to.
May ends up making it to the surface around a month after that incident, after wandering lost for the time between, and, while struggling to try and buy some clothes thanks to the language barrier between her and the commonly spoken languages of the surface, one of the employees working there, Penny, is able to help figure out what May's looking for, and helps her with the whole process, since it's a lot different from how it was in the domes. They don't end up seeing each other after that for around a year, but it's important when they do, as Penny's was the first person on the surface May really had a good experience with, so when they randomly run into each other, May's very happy to be able to tell her how meaningful that was to her, and that she's much more adjusted to the culture and language now.
Meanwhile, Jake! Jake ends up wandering deep within the domes, far away from where the actual settlements and cities are, for over a year, just barely surviving through scavenging and avoiding patrolling soldiers. Still, he's not great at it, and eventually he ends up being held at gunpoint by Parker, who insists he tell her his rank and what he's doing out here. He has no idea, as he was never in the military and lies through his teeth. Luckily for him, Parker is a military deserter, and would've had a much worse reaction had she believed him, instead realizing that he's not a soldier and has no idea what he's talking about. Parker's been hiding out in the area, an abandoned sewer system that's frequented as a supply route for soldiers, for several months at this point, and while she actually enjoys her life of living down there, it's a lot of work to survive on her own, and realizing Jake's a fugitive also means he's a potential survival partner.
The two end up meeting up once every day for around a week before Parker feels confident enough that Jake isn't going to screw her over or try and turn her in or anything, and invites him to live with her at her "apartment", an old maintenance closet that's very secluded and not marked on any military maps, under the agreement that the two of them actually work together. Jake instantly agrees because he's been miserable and awful for the past year, while Parker's doing surprisingly well for herself, she even has multiple sets of clothes that she's stolen from nearby outposts (As well as an entire mattress she stole, and her most prized possession, a full deck of playing cards, and an Octo Shot she definitely killed a man for), as opposed to Jake, who's been going off of only what he had on him when everything went down, which is... practically nothing.
The plot basically slows down and chills out here for a while, May and June end up moving in with Penny after a few months of May and Penny hanging out instead of having to live in the shitty motel they'd been living in before (Albeit, the motel was better than the wilds they'd been living in before that), and Parker and Jake get adjusted to their lives in hiding surprisingly well. May and Scarlet even find each other on the surface again, they run into each other while May's out grocery shopping, and it's a very important moment for the both of them, as they've spent this entire time carrying around the guilt of feeling responsible for what happened, so them seeing the other and seeing how much better they're doing on the surface helps ease those guilts.
And then the events of Octo Expansion happen in the background. Parker and Jake know the routines of the soldiers in the area after years of living together, but the supply lines end up being used by sanitized Octoling soldiers after Kamabo starts massively ramping up production, leading to patrols of sanitized soldiers at seemingly random intervals, and outside of the predictable patterns that Parker and Jake were used to. Parker's out doing the laundry when a patrol finds her, and, greatly outnumbering her, end up nearly killing her, and dragging her back to be sanitized. She's in too bad of condition to be saved and reused as a test subject, so she's just sanitized instead.
Jake, naturally, notices when Parker never comes back from doing the laundry, and proceeds to be missing for upwards of two weeks. Jake does his best to look for her, but he also doesn't want to stray too far from their "apartment", as he's scared she might return home when he's gone, and with the unpredictable patrols, he doesn't feel like it's safe to stay out for as long as he wants to to look for her, so he ends up sticking close to home and just hoping he'll be able to find some clue of her. Of course, when he finally does, finally spotting her hanging around the entrance to the hallways that lead to their apartment, it's Not a good thing. He runs up to her to ask where she's been, and the moment he calls for her she turns and attacks him. It's not even a fair fight, even if he went in expecting a fight, he wouldn't have won, but this was a complete surprise. She quickly attacks him and takes him back to be put into the metro as a test subject, and, since he was brought back in much better shape than she was, he actually can be salvaged as a test subject!
And then he isn't. He's in the process of being readied as a test subject, namely, having his memories messed with, that the entire plot of Octo Expansion actually happens, and he's freed when the entire facility shuts down, and the metro is just a normal transport system again. He ends up wandering around for another month or so, except doing so very poorly, as the effects that being prepped to be a test subject had on his memory is bad, and basically erased all of his knowledge on how to survive on his own. Eventually, and luckily for him, he's found by one of the rescue teams that have been sent out in the aftermath of Octo Expansion to rescue lost and sanitized Octolings, and FINALLY gets brought to the surface, as well as being hospitalized for a whole myriad of problems, mainly being severely dehydrated from not remembering safe ways to find and gather water reliably.
When he's ready to be discharged, he realizes he has really nowhere to go, but since he still remembers May's phone number from when they were kids (As it's been years at this point, May and Jake are both in their mid 20s now, and June's around ~17), and calls her to ask if she can come pick him up and also if he can crash at her place for a bit. May is more than a bit surprised that her childhood friend she was fairly convinced had died years ago, and that she feels guilty for abandoning, is not only still alive, but super casual and chill just. Calling her cell and asking if he can sleep on her couch. At this point, June's already moved out, having been encouraged by both May and Penny to get out on her own and try getting out of her comfort zone, and is living in Splatsville with her roommate Basil, and not really having any major plot moments of her own. She's having fun and coming out of her shell and having silly lesbian shenanigans with her roommate in the background while Jake and May are experiencing the horrors.
Ultimately, this is about where thing stop being decided and I still need to figure out what happens next. Jake is living on May and Penny's couch (The universe will never let them have their house to themselves. Not even 3 months after June moves out, Jake's crashing on their couch), and has no memory of his time with Parker, Parker's MIA and potentially dead, and May's struggling with the idea that Jake's either in denial of some major trauma he must've faced through the years, or that she's somehow uniquely fucked up from what happened to them. To make matters worse, Jake's memory issues become more and more apparent, as he continues to struggle to remember Penny's name, instead repeatedly calling her "Parker", yet getting confused when he's corrected. I'm ultimately unsure what I'm going to do to resolve this plot thread, but May and Penny do realize that whoever Parker was, she was someone Jake knew in the time he was missing, and are trying to figure out just exactly who she was, if not where she actually is
Whether or not Parker is dead... it's up in the air. I initially planned for her to die and stay dead, but I'm the worlds biggest sap and I feel bad about killing her off permanently, as well as the fact I have plenty of silly ideas for what I could do with Parker once she's on the surface, so I'm still debating if it's more narratively satisfying for her to die or not. There's, if you believe it, actually a ton I'm glossing over (The intricacies of Jake and Parker's dynamic, the reasons why Parker left, basically everything about Basil and June, literally Basil has an entire friend group that has their own mini-plot that's not at all connected to this and doesn't get mentioned, Crimson is going to be more relevant once I figure out what I want to do with her, ect), but uh. That's the very long gist of it.
If anyone actually, genuinely reads through all of this. Thank you, apologies, and I love you
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tsukiyon · 9 months
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I love Galaxia's writing in manga so much it gets on my nerves everytime I think about how 90s anime turned her into this wicked villainess controlled by Chaos that only wants to make others suffer and become the strongest :/ In manga she is a tragic character who has a backstory that is parallel to Usagi, the only villain that wasn't deceived by Chaos but the one that wanted to deceive Chaos and everything she did was only to find a star that is worth to have her own, or rather maybe a star that would make her feel worthy. And the fact that her mortal enemy she waited to meet and fight for years was the star she wanted to have all along. "Sailor Moon, i've finally found it. I found my star. It is so big and so bright, i can't reach it." Her hand tries to reach out to Usagi but she dies right before she could. She died at the moment that she wished for her whole life. And that was one of the most tragic deaths I have ever seen to be honest. Galaxia is a villain who was very unlucky and had her reasons yet also very selfish, and I think this complexity made her a great villain. I can't wait for Cosmos to do her justice.
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mihai-florescu · 1 year
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I need enstars to be over because i need to know what akira's plan for himeru is so so badly (cue eichi's quote about asking an author how they plan to end their tale is poor manners). I can imagine various ways in which id consider his arc completed but there are too many variables that can change...
#i think i just need to go to sleep#ive just been thinking about the doomed by the narrative trope. and kaname. and himeru. and im listening to Im Alive from next to normal#to be fair what i consider a satisfying ending for me personally would probably be terrible for everyone else#ive been thinking about oremeru getting attacked by an obsessive fan paralleling what kaname's mom did to akehoshi papa#kaname's interest in being and idol starts with her. a lot of the plot starts with her actions actually.#idk...i just like the idea of the idol himeru being doomed from the start. oremeru takes over but it doesnt change much#and it all starts because of kaname's mom's actions#but do i think enstars is gonna kill off or get rid of a major character? no. they need to make money#im sure there are other ways to end his arc i just like violence. but is it not the whole point of enstars that you can rewrite your-#narrative?#so then giving himeru a chace of a happy ending would be good in itself too. he doesnt have to suffer#oremeru took on his brother's persona and incolved himself in the story. what would be more satisfying?#i leave it as an open question cuz iiii dont think i was too coherent and im curious how other people hope for himeru's arc to end like#he still is the most interesting alkakurei member to me. do you see kaname waking up? would that make for a good story?#dont think subjectively cuz you like the character please. i am curious what you think would make for the best story
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csoisoi · 1 year
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my neutral existing is gone im happy and smiling again
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MY JOY
IM SO HAPYHCHEHVHKYK
please im so happy seeing the first years
de man was unexpected but its a verY WELCOME APPEARANCE I MISS HIM
#pulu and ronron makes a new appearance and call sabnock papa#i miss those two sm#its just rlly sweet i love them#theyre so cute#yabashi making an appearance threw me so off guard but i was so happy#im curious as to why he chose this batra? is it because of clara?#also i want to see him interact with march-sensei. theyre cousins and march seems fond of him but yabashi hasnt said anything abt him yet#i wonder if hes scared of him bc ngl if my cousin was a torture arts teacher. id be scared shitless#his beanie is so cool too. it makes me wanna try to diy it but i neither have a beanie or the fabric to make it its <//3#ive been on a hypothetical diy spree but all ive made are too many pins and one phone charm strap thing#hes just rlly cool. very fashionable now that i take a second look at him. very gender tbh#chacha wondering where kerori was was very cute#pheene not being opposed to joining camui's batra was very nice and the sudden change to her hunting him down upon seeing was very funny#demii and allocer seemingly talking in the library too it was very cute#the misfits as second years and taking care of their underclassmen is very cute and i love it#the series is all about relationships familial platonic or otherwise#the dynamics present and how expansive the demon world is with all the new characters and designs#i just love afdsgbgdjlfg mairuamsdgf#ok thats it#mairimashita iruma kun#mairimashita! iruma kun#m!ik#mairuma#welcome to demon school iruma kun#welcome to demon school#iruma kun#csoi posts#csoi talks too much in tags
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princekirijo · 24 days
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I hate when you have like pieces of a character and you're trying to put it together but just. nothing. Mind blank. Head empty
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fiendishartist2 · 1 month
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guys what if i want to make my own apollo justice game.
#i need to write a prequel to aa4 pls pls pls pls pls#okay get this: so phoenix isnt disbarred yet and he doesnt have trucy. hes still taking and winning cases#one day he gets a call from edgeworth and hes all like ''wright i need your assistance'' and hes like what for and edgeworth goes#''ive been given the most ridiculous case and i think youre the only man in law who can take care of it''#so phoenix bikes his ass to the detention center and boom. child behind bars#and phoenix is like ??? hey kid what are doing here. and this kid is the most surly mfer on the planet like you couldnt get-#-a word out of him if you tried. hes kinda giving phoenix the stink eye too but hes just the littlest guy on earth#and phoenix feels bad for him so he tries to get a rundown of the case (maybe edgeworth gave him an autopsy report or smth beforehand)#but get this. the kid still wont speak. he hasnt even moved a muscle. and after some prodding you find out this little dude-#-doesnt speak english (i dont love aa6 but i think apollos tragic backstory can be interesting so we're going w that but taking it seriousl#anyways so maya is like omg this kid is speaking khurainese but hers is kinda broken bc shes not from the mainland and only knows it-#-from like prayers#so you only get bits and pieces of the kids testimony. plus he still doesnt wanna talk bc ''dhurk told me not to talk to you''#so you start following the new lead but you ask too many questions and apollos like oh shit i said too much and wont talk to you anymore#but now you have two leads: khur'ain and a man named ''dhurk'' plus the fact that this is kid might be new to america since-#-he cant speak english but is smack dab in the middle of california. its all v curious and phoenix wants to get to the bottom of it#for the rest of the case i feel like it would go in the direction of ''we dont know exactly whats up w this dhurk guy or where this kid-#-came from but we do get him acquitted and phoenix is able to save him from the dark path he was heading towards'' thus steering apollo-#-in the direction of law and giving him a wayyyy better reason than aa6 gave him <3#i kind of like the interlinked nature of ace attorney's storytelling. like everything leads into smth else and everyone is impacted-#-by another person before they even become properly entangled w each other's lives#like how mia faced dahlia years before she met phoenix but dahlia was the one to connect them#or how trucy gave phoenix the diary paper but she's also the one who ropes apollo into the waa. even before they know they're siblings#or how lamoire left apollo and trucy as children and when they reunite as adults they cant recognise each other but they all find each-#-other anyways#i could go on but i think this could be cool yknow esp bc i think the most interesting thing about apollo's aa6 backstory is his life-#-post dhurk. like where did he stay? was he a foster kid? was he put into the system? how did that affect him? what kind of ppl took him in#i just wanna know how that whole thing would have effected him bc like when yiu think about it how did he even get to america?? his dad's#-considered a terrorist. idk man i think its interesting and apollo and dhurks interactions are one of the only good parts of aa6
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craycraybluejay · 2 months
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sex and hormone therapy and killing my abusers and doing hard drugs will fix me
#who boutta fix me#its really easy those are the steps#also like turning my therapist immortal#but thats optional i dont wanna see her die tho :(#but um#*flirting* do you fw any mafias aha like do you know any hired guns yk haha like just asking#ive been out of the dating pool for awhile but when i dated i constantly was drawn to dangerous ppl#it was fun! i was like a weird protsgonist with a murderer-o-meter#i kinda hope i see my ex at an upcoming social function just so i can revel in that#i know what they did and its unlikely many others do#i just like the knowing#and networking around#which btw always network everywhere even if its not a networking event#u never ever know when someones skills or luck can be useful to you or when you can pay it forward and help someone else#capitalists dont want there to be upward mobility n ppl try to make networking sound hard#but the truth is its just meeting as many ppl as u can and being polite and friendly#and even making real friends!#also always know your worth skills wise and be able to pitch at just an amateur level#like 'hi i do art and ive been dabbling at my dads mechanic job'#is more than enough#or even 'hi nice to meet you-- you seem really cool what do you do?'#remember not to overthink and just be genuinely curious about other ppl and open and receptive to new social dynamics#and dont write off even the most drastic opportunities#if you need time to think on it just say that#anyway what was i saying#im gonna get better and if someone doesnt fix me i will fix me
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opens-up-4-nobody · 7 months
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...
#so theres this terrible thing i do where i force myself to get up way too early and go into the lab before anyone else#bc i get overwhelmed when lots of ppl r around. its terrible bc if u do that over and over it kinda breaks ur brain#but there is something i like abt walking around while its still dark out and on ones on thr roads looking up at the stars and theyre all#haloed here bc theres actually moisture in thr air here. i feel. idk how i feel. more normal i guess. like neutral but in a negative way.#like i dont really care about anything. probably im just tired. i haven't been sleeping well. maybe its the birth control#which im still taking bc im too curious abt how my mood fluctuates when my hormones r controlled. or maybe its my mood. but ive been tired#and ive not been having fun. i just feel like im very no thoughts empty head. here's info do u have anything to say abt it? any observations#? no. no. cant read cant think cant talk in a way that makes may sense. what do we do abt it? i dunno. i dunno.#sleep maybe. stop taking the birth control maybe. talk to my councilor monday definitely. give her an insane rant abt how im definitely not#bipolar lol i think ive got a point. but i go back and forth idk. it doesn't really matter. i just find it interesting#sigh. remember when i had time to draw? remember when i wanted to draw? now im just tired#whatever. ill sleep and feel better. get my executives to function maybe. maybe. but probably not#i did cut off like 3 inches of hair on impulse. got that chin length depression haircut. classic#unrelated
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kerorowhump · 10 months
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#keroro#i love this. she is me. i can live my unbridled amounts of cute aggression towards him THRU HER#i literally need to do this irl#like i just skimmed ep 64 bc i was curious about this trauma switch thing and ive never wanted to grab him and whack him around more#in an affectionate way not because im mad at him oh no. i understand him so deeply. i feel him. i know his most inner psyche.#and he inspires unrecorded levels of senseless violence in me#me in my little ignoramus bubble writing a 4 pages dissertation on his character anyway bc like. i get him ok#his deep seated sense of guilt that he's constantly fighting against. that he needs to repress and deny in order to function.#his fear of abandonment. fear of never being enough. not being able to make up for it. for himself. thats why hes self sacrificing#his selfish childishness that comes from not having been allowed a lot in his youth. taking friends for granted in his past but knowing -#you dont fit in with them. constantly apologizing for yourself. taking space. too much. self indulgence. because friends is s scary concept#and yet one you couldnt survive without. letting them walk all over you. denying your anger. your fears. crawling back to them with a smile#at their feet and biting time because what you really want is friends. company. but you think you don't deserve it. deep down.#maybe u dont. your worst reminder the friend you love. and if they ditch you it's deserved. you don't need them (you do)#why am i rambling!!!! he has ruined me. if im wrong dont even tell me bc i prefer this version in my head anyway#*charlie voice* look at me. psychological trauma up to here#im not saying growing up poor with a father that shames you for your interests and ''disciplines'' you made him selfish but. no yes!#i am saying that. bc i know how it is. growing up with friends that have a lot that u can never afford. u feel guilty just being with them#ok we strayed a lot from the og post which is just me saying I WANNA PUNCH THIS GUY SO BAD (he is me)#keroro gunso
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magical-girl-04 · 1 year
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Am I aroace or have I just been awake too long?
#rav speaks#its 2am and im listening to a mix of twice aqourus and J-metal girl bands while questioning everything in my life#anyway do people actually feel the way they describe in romance songs??#like idk ive had like 3 crushes in my life but like i dont think i could actually see myself in a relationship?#so either im aro or like I just have trouble imagining a relationship becuase ive been single my whole life#its like how sex is pretty interesting to me and id be down for it in theory but i cant see myself actually doing it#interesting in a im curious if its really all that people make it out to be#cuz it seems prettyyyy boring to me lol#specially since lesbo sex apparently takes agessss and i know for a fact i would not let a dick get anywhere close to me#anyway off topic#im trying to figure out if the way i feel about romantic relationships is the same way i feel about sex#like in theory id love to have a gf and like do datey things but like it seems like so much effort to get to that stage#got a dating app and im barely on it because ive realised i dont really want to actually talk to anyone#and like i was meant to meet up with someone today who when i first started talking to on said app i was like kicking my feet and blushing#but i noticed that im starting all the convos and decided i was just like fed up of that whats the point of trying to get to know someone#if they arent interested yknow. like they were meant to get a bus to my city and i was hoping they would just like tell me a bus time#and we'd go from there but nothing. so im just like. over it#and i feel like thsts probably not really how crushes really work?#its like i had a bit of a crush on a girl in my classes but once exam season hot and i stopped seeing her so regaually i just kinda forgot#i think she might be in 1 or w of my classes this term so maybe talking to her again will relight that but im prettyyyy sure shes staight#so prpbs better to loose the feels anyway#this is just a rambling mess now i really need to sleep#Maybe I'll figure myself out eventually but for now im gonna stick with grey aro cuz i think thst makes the most sense?#unless there are other micro aro lables i dont knoe of (very likely)#at least i know I'll always be an asexual lesbian even if i dont know if ill ever actually date girls#honestly life would be so much easier if i jsut loved my bestfriend it wojld be so cool if we could be in romantic feeling together but#alas we tried dating for lkke a week and i avoided her the whole time cuz i felt a deep deep sence of wrongness lol#its like again in theory i could see us as a great gf duo like if i was watching our lives as a show id be shipping us#but in practice its njst wrong#if anyone actually reads all of this you get a reward of uhh 🦎 goodnight!!
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isa-ah · 2 years
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🙊 okay maybe ill stir the pot A LITTLE..
#our shithead crazy ex roomie has this gorgeous swarthy new zealand man who wants to be w her so bad#hea just followed along horrible choice to horrible choice begging her to move to new zealand bc hes got his life together#and he wants to daddy her ao bad lmao hes rlly chill. has a good job. is highly respectful. all the things she isnt dhhdhd#i feel bad bc the way she talks about him is so... oh hell always be there begging me so the choice will always be open!#might as well do what i want in the meantime :)#even tho between her two most recent relationships w the same awful guy she lives w now she was 'dating' this dude#then dropped him SO fast again. its so nasty#well oops! guess who just sent me a friend request! her hot kiwi king B) ive never hit accept and texted someone so fast lol#brother i am going to unleash you ita been years you deserve better and she is Not It#(ofc she spins all of her life and stories to him SOOO sideways. he has no idea whats actually going on)#oh my god whcih reminds me. we had a friend stop in who we met thru her who was so shy to talk yo us anymore#bc torie told her she had to call the cops bc we were holding all of her animals hostage and threatening her???#for trying to be with her ugly bf???? lol????????#like just completely outright lied so i assume shes doing that to everyone#which makes me DOUBLY curious why this man sent me a friend req. surely he of all people has been fed some nasty stuff#but lol maybe tories ugly bf cut her off from him. it would be in character
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