#Jason can and will help Damian bring a goddam anaconda home literally just to spite Bruce

[bruciemilf]

I saw this post about Damian becoming a prosecutor and Harvey is so proud of him for it.

Thoughts?

DUUUDE I love that a lot, but also:

Damian becoming Gotham’s Steve Irwin. That boy would OBSESS.

Catch his mute footsteps slithering along the mansion’s hissing floorboards, with his mother’s infamous agility, sneaking into the cinema to watch documentaries at 6 AM.

Two-Face having multiple heart attacks when he catches their tiny demon glued to the TV.

“Why aren’t you in bed right now?”

“ Why can’t you talk to aligators?”

Bruce knows Damian does this, but he’d absolutely gaslight Harvey into thinking their little terror sleeps all night. He’s not at all going into the sewage system to leave treats for the critters.

Also; Harvey as the father whom VEHEMENTLY forbids Damian from bringing wild animals into their home. A dog? Fine. A cow? Better than a spider. A goddam dragon? Sure, why not.

“You get that damn rat OUT of my house RIGHT now, kid!”

“This is my BABA’S HOUSE, you vile, fatulous, sanctimonious scumbag!”

He gets his youngest sibling rights revoked. They’re given to Jason for a whole week. It’s simultaneously hilarious and terrible and it’s Harvey’s revenge against Bruce for sure.

#dc #dc comics #batman #batfamily #damian wayne #I also imagine Damian listening to podcasts and buying merch and trying to imitate an Australian accent #jon thinks it’s so funny until all of a sudden they’re in an Amazonian jungle looking for boa snakes #but hey gotta keep the ole girl happy #bruce wayne #harvey dent #text #Jason can and will help Damian bring a goddam anaconda home literally just to spite Bruce