#Loki will definitely sneak all the cherries with which they decorate it even before the pie cools

[speedypandaweasel]

Loki Angst (3.5K Words)

Ever since Loki Ep 4 came out, I've been having a strong Maladaptive daydream to the ending credits song. So in true fashion, I'm going to write it here. Enjoy.

When reading, this story is in no way accurate to whats happened in the series so far, this was purely out of my imagination.

Song Inspiration - If You Love Me by Brenda Lee

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Asgard's golden walls glistened proudly with streamers and its pillars blossomed with decorative flowers and fruit. The floor must have been cleaned until someone's fingers bled because when you looked down from the higher floor, you couldn't make up your mind as to which side of the arriving guests was the reflection. The small congregation was accompanied by floating champagne glasses and flowing fabrics of satin and silk, their laughs and high-class conversations wafted through the halls as you watched on in awe.

You knew you weren't exactly a part of this society, let alone this world, but you wanted to at least experience something like this. Watching from afar, you still needed to get changed into your dress for tonight. As for Loki and Sylvie, you hadn't seen them, so you wandered through the long hallways on your own.

Whilst wandering past small fruit and nut bowls displayed in the marble corridors, you thought as to what was happening between your two friends. Things had subtly changed between the three of you and even though they did their best, you knew something had happened between them. They would hopefully tell you though since you had known Loki ever since you could remember, and the thought of him keeping you out in the cold on a secret sent shivers up your spine. Sure, people can keep things to themselves but this felt - different, it put a strain on your friendship and you had the thought that maybe it was your fault that they became distant from you. Did you say something or do something that they weren't a fan of? You didn't like to think like that but it felt like your only option.

You pushed open your door and closed it behind you, making sure to lock it. The cold summers breeze met your face as you drifted over to the small window overlooking the wonderful scene that was graciously displayed below you. Accompanied by the royal gardens, you breathed in a sigh, as your eyes settled on the stars that trickled over Asgard like glitter on a golden trophy, and made sure to capture every single feature the Realm happened to have. You felt like you were home, yet your brain knew that you weren't. The reminder: The Bifrost. It sat in the very distance, its attention gravitating towards you like a persistent magnet, propelling you to come back to your true home and yet, you continued to push back, making sure you stayed here a little longer, just to see things out.

All the while, your hands sneaked their way to your neck, fiddling with a necklace that Loki gave you from your younger years. It became a habit of yours when you were worried about something, and the mischievous scamp had caught you out on it a few times, which then lead you to spill every worry out in front of him. He practically knew everything that you were afraid of and you were secretly proud to say that you knew things about Loki even Thor didn't know about. You two had a lot of history together and you couldn't imagine it any other way, but it wasn't until later that the two of you became a trio. Sylvie was a nice person but the resemblance of her next to Loki was oddly similar, and you still hardly knew anything about her - even to this day. But Loki seemed comfortable around her and when he was happy, you were. The three of you had a lot of fun together and tonight was going to be one of them again, having fun and messing around with anything you could get your hands on. It would probably be the fruit or Odin's staff like last time.

Contemplation was caught short when you heard a knock at the door. You tucked the necklace in your shirt, slid the window shut and closed the curtain. Walking over to the door, you opened it to a smiling Sylvie. Her black outfit was muddy all over and her hair was frazzled, yet her face held the joy of a child which was a new look on her.

Inviting her in, she strode in and sat on your bed, the clean mattress became mucky as her boots trailed in mud from outside. Her stubborn demeanour had dropped and she was talking about something that you didn't quite understand. You stopped her mid-sentence as you calmed her down, telling her to breathe slowly in and out. This was completely new and unrehearsed between the two of you as she started to wind down.

"Is this what you're wearing tonight?" She asked, "It looks nice" stroking the gown carefully.

"Thanks" You replied "Are you going tonight?"

"Yes, I am."

"Awesome! We can get up to all sorts of things tonight! We can steal the fruit, tip some hard liquor into the drinks, or maybe we could-"

"Actually, I don't feel like doing that type of stuff tonight" Sylvie interrupted you this time. "Could we have just one normal night? Like civilly?"

You were taken back. She had never said no to mischief before. This became strangely scary for you. Is this the same Sylvie you knew? She seemed so... mature.

"Oh, oh ok. That's fine." You said. "You better go and get dressed! You definitely need to go and have a bath!" You laughed.

Leading her to the door again, you let Sylvie pass through. An uneasy feeling settled as you watched her float down the hallway, the same grin plastered on her face.

What was going on with her? And where was Loki? He should be in the Palace by now? He was probably with Odin, or Thor letting guests in.

You turned back to face your room and walked towards your long vanity. Its clean mirror and your makeup kit sat proudly upon it, eagerly ready to be used. Sitting down at the station, applying your makeup routine always made you feel like you were going to a grand ball. Well, you were, but the feeling of actually going made butterflies break that pit in your stomach. You gazed at your own reflection, one of a goddess staring back at you. It was one of those surreal moments when you felt like the baddest bitch of them all, feeling like no one could ever stop you from doing anything.

The gown you had picked out slipped off the hanger pricelessly as you delicately slipped it on. Its expensive fabric clasped your figure elegantly as you zipped up the back, making extra sure that it didn't snag on anything. The makeup was wonderfully done and the hair was styled on your head just so, but there was one thing missing.

You untucked the necklace and layed it on top. Perfect.

Doing a small twirl with your heels on, you stood in front of the closets' large mirror for a minute, taking in your gorgeous outfit for the night. Tonight was the night you felt like a princess.

You grabbed your clutch as you glided out of the, now dim hallway. The main light now coming from the grand hall as it coaxed you its way, making your gown glisten with its warm appeal.

Finally basking in its glory, you peered down at the fully decorated hall. So many people had gathered as you watched on again, spotting Odin and Thor right below you, yet no sign of the other God. You stayed up the higher floor, weaving through the bannisters to see if you could catch a glimpse of the green cape. The orchestra played beautiful symphonies as you swayed on from above, fiddling with the golden chain. You slowly got carried away by the addicting melody as you glided down the grand staircase, blending in with the Asgardian crowd. People were beginning to look at you with admiration and smiles started to appear in front of you. You embarrassingly smiled and nodded back, trying to fit in with the night greetings.

You reached your hand onto a passing wine glass tray as you stepped to the outskirts of the crowd, allowing your heated face to cool and your breathing to slow. It had only been a couple hours and you were already flustered. But where were Loki and Sylvie?

You squeezed your way back through the large assembly as you crept up the stairs once more, getting slightly worried as to where the two were.

"There she is!" A familiar face grinned.

You turned and met with the face of Loki, his hair gelled back and that all too familiar smirk brought a chuckle to your lips. He stood at the top of the staircase, dominating the space around him. People had started to notice the young God positioned above them and started to utter whispers and occasional glances.

Your eyes studied his features like a book. The Emerald and Gold colour scheme never seemed to fade on him and his cape shadowed behind his tall and broad shoulders courageously like it always did. The addicting cologne lulled you into a warm embrace, his arms wrapped around you shallowly. Loki never was one for hugs but he didn't mind breaking his "reputation" for you. The gesture ended too soon as Loki scanned the grand room, his daring eyes searching for something. He turned to you.

Mischief chuckled. his eyes filled with amusement. "I should think so, she should be fine this evening, however."

"Have you seen Sylvie? I need to speak with her?"

"Uh, no I don't sorry, but she was acting a little strange earlier today. She was all smiley and a little too happy. Is everything alright with her?"

You nodded, taking his words with a pinch of salt.

"Speak of the lady." You muttered.

Sylvie glided up behind him and suddenly, everything went mute. Nothing but the sounds of your heartbeat entered your ears as you stared. The crisp sound of the orchestra was now muffled and guests discussions became mute. Your breathing shallowed yet you continued to stare.

Eternity flew by in a matter of seconds as you looked at your two friends before you.

Both were wearing Gold and Emerald. Sylvie's long dress complimented Loki's cape and boots and around what was around her slender neck was the cherry on top of this momentous cake.

You looked down at your hands that went to a necklace. All of its meaning had now been transferred to the new owner.

Everything had slotted together. Why Sylvie was smiling so much, Loki's mysterious absences, his short discussion, their secretive behaviour.

The noise came flooding back into your ears once more, making your eyes water. The chattering and clinking of glasses recentered you.

"Is everything alright?" Loki questioned. His arm now linked with Sylvie's, her face displayed the same curiosity.

Your mouth uttered something, yet nothing tumbled out. Instead, your body forced you to turn around and walk.

You walked. Just walked. Walked as far away as you possibly could. Your shoes took you further and further away from the Hall and outside to the gardens. More tears started to fall as you stupidly peered through one of the Palace's windows.

Your stained eyes met with the crowd making room for the event you didn't want to witness, yet couldn't help but watch. It made way for your two friends starting the evening. The urge to pull your eyes away from the situation unfolding became numb. You stood still as Loki took the small of Sylvie's back proudly as they began to waltz, the cushioned sound of the strings and flutes echoed outside as they floated around the room, their eyes never left one another's. Your body became weighted but you knew that one final flick would send you crumbling. Your hands clenched into fists and you couldn't do anything about it.

Loki looked so happy. Still, you weren't. Perhaps it was better for this to happen. They didn't fully know how you came to be in Asgard and thinking it through thoroughly, you didn't want to tell them, not now.

The God of Mischief never looked so proud to be in the centre of the crowd like this, so to keep this secret from you made your heart ache with either pride or betrayal, you couldn't make up your foggy mind.

The Hall became absent of one guest as they slowly walked into the gardens. The stillness of the night's air felt nice against your bare skin and the flowers bloomed gloriously around you. The tall shrubbery loomed over you, blocking out nearly all of the Palaces' light, but you couldn't escape the moon's view.

You strolled in and out of the beds, touching every delicate bulb that you passed. Relishing in its dainty scents, your path came to end with a wooden bench. Its worn planks provided support as you perched on it, resting your killing feet.

Now, what do you do? It was clearly evident that they were fine without you and to be completely honest with yourself, you knew the time to leave this world was drawing nearer and nearer.

The thought of leaving everything behind caused you to break down properly this time, that awful feeling of disgust and hurt pounded at your stomach as your throat was caught on itself.

The night's sky helplessly observed as the air blew colder and colder, the moons light leaving as you trailed back slowly.

Silent sobs resounded off the Palaces back stairwell and to your guest door. Heavy footsteps sounded on the damp carpet as the priceless dress was shrugged off, flopping on the floor lifelessly. The smudged makeup was wiped off and the styled hair was ruffled once more. Silence.

A piece of scroll and a quill were picked up and written on, the scratches of ink were all that could be heard in the small bedroom. Still, no words could be mustered.

A luggage bag was lifted from the top of the closet as t-shirts, jeans and essentials were folded neatly and zipped up. A sniffle was collected.

The open letter was placed on the bed and with a tearful kiss, so was the necklace.

"Thank you for letting me stay, but now I need to leave." A weak voice was finally projected.

The hurt walked down the hallway and back into the Palaces Grand Ball. It walked through the marble pillars, passed the infamous throne and out of the doors.

"Would you like me to carry your bag?" A smooth voice asked.

You whipped your head around to see Heimdall. Of course, he knew what you were doing. The man positioned himself humbly, his uniform reflected the warm lighting come from inside.

"Go and have one more look, I shall meet you at the Bridge."

You gave him a small smile and walked back to the large doors. You lingered in the doorway, eyeing the many guests and savouring the memories that were fading fast.

The vision fell on the young couple that were at the very far end of the room, They were talking to some of the guests, actually socialising. They looked so happy together, his hand draped around her like it was always meant to do that. Her eyes beaming with pride as she glanced up at him only made you cement your choice.

You smiled.

You took yourself on a little tour around the public square, seeing the many beautiful pictures of people houses, lavish fountains and well-kept marble streets. Each of its precisely cracked lines etched in gold, eventually directed you to the edge of the idyllic city. You laughed as you spotted the overly known spots the three of you used to meet at. You walked over to the tree as you looked on fondly at the permanent markings on its trunk. Your head lifted up to prevent an emotional collapse, you didn't want to make this harder than it should be, yet you were all the same.

Hours became minutes and you spotted Heimdall at the bridge, your suitcase grasped in his hand. Just one more time.

You made your final view on Asgard, from the Palace at the back from the small houses and shops at the front. Everything looked so much larger than from your bedroom window.

"Are you ready?" Heimdall said and offered his arm.

You chucked as you accepted, grandly strolling down the bridge to the Bifrost. The array of colours danced below you as Heimdall unexpectedly spun you around politely. His chuckle filled the air as you joked around on your way, forming even more moments that your heart desperately wanted to cling to. The evening's glitter shone above the both of you, customising spotlights on the two trying to make this special night one to remember.

"I am going to miss you Mid- Guardian."

"I'm gonna miss you too Heimdall."

The Biofrost expanded bigger and bigger until it was practically on top of you both. Your dance ceased to a stop as the gatekeeper placed a soft kiss on the top of your hand.

Footsteps bounced off the hollow walls as the two of you walked inside the orb. The cold interior made you shiver as your infinite time was now mere seconds.

"After you Heimdall" you laughed, trying to hold back tears that were starting to erupt again.

"Thank you, but before I forget, may I request you do something." He said. "Do you mind turning around?"

Confused, you obliged. Turning around, Heimdall's cold hands came to the back of your neck and left just as swiftly.

You stared down, your tired eyes widening.

"Heimdall how do you have thi-"

You spun back around but didn't come face to face with Heimdall.

You froze, paralysed to the spot as your breathing sharpened.

Your bags thudded to the Bifrosts floor and you crashed into him, your hands grabbed at his cloak as you sobbed into his leathered outfit. He dropped to his knees and pulled you in closer, his face burrowed into the crook of your shoulders. The jet black hair was becoming ungelled as the two of you stayed in that hug for a long time. His breathing became shallow and your shoulder was becoming damp. You pulled the hug in, infinitely closer, desperately not wanting to let him go. Your mind was scraping back at the fleeting moments as your exit grew bigger and bigger, applying pressure on top of the emotional wreckage to part ways.

Alas, you sadly tore away from one another, looking directly into one another's eyes, his green ones pierced into yours, pleading you to stay. Nonetheless, you both knew that couldn't be the case.

"I could stay here with you, you know"

"You know that can't happen Mid-Guardian. It pains me that you must leave. We have caused a lot of mischief together and I am so proud of the person you have become, even if you were under my influence." He choked, tears forming in his eyes. Your hand cusped his jawline, your thumb dragged along his cheek and to his eyes. His skin was made of pale velvet. His yearning tears were smoothed away from his eyes as he breathed out a shaky sigh.

You both dragged back yourselves up to your feet, his taller shadow looking down on you. He slowly picked up and passed you your luggage as you both locked eye contact for one last time.

He knew he had to let you go but for once in his life, this was the hardest goodbye he had to be a part of. You meant so much to him and the way he behaved tonight finally made him realise that no matter what he did or who he met, no one would be able to make him feel or experience anything like this the way you did, not even Sylvie.

"Don't forget me Loki."

"Oh my Dear, I won't be forgetting you for a very long time." He gave you a grin before wiping his eyes once more. "Now go and make some more mischief down on Mid-Guard for me."

You placed a sensitive kiss on his cheek as you edged closer to the Bifrosts vacuum. You turned around to admire the God of Mischief once more, a small tear leaked from your red face again.

Loki gave you a wink and then soon he wasn't there anymore.

Loki stood there painfully as you were soon out of sight, his mind racing with everything he should have said that never escaped his mouth.

He peered at the Bifrost that had now shut, hoping that for some miraculous reason that you would return, as his hand ran through his tousled hair. His breath became ragged once more as his knees buckled, his white-knuckled fists slammed into the floor, the impact caused the portal to shake slightly. If he didn't behave like such an arse hole tonight, maybe things could have turned out differently. how long did you know that you had to leave him one day?

His unanswered questions marinated as he regrettably crawled back to his feet and trudged back towards the festivities, his cape dragged behind him heavily. His bottled emotions made his blood boil as he let out a singular scream, cascading into the dark void of the Realm.

But if he loved you, then he had to let this happen.

#loki #loki laufeyson #loki laufeyson x reader #loki angst #lady loki #sylvie #loki the god of mischief #infinity war #marvel #loki series