solar flare // kara danvers
SUMMARY: Unaware that your girlfriend is Supergirl, things get a little confusing when she gets into an accident that should have threatened her life.
WARNING/S: mentions of death.
Author's note: this has been sat in my drafts for a looooong time, along with a bunch of other stuff that I'll probably be putting out over the next few days. Sorry it's a little shit lol
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I felt my dreamscape fading as I realised somebody was shuffling next to me, eventually making me open my eyes tiredly. I realised it was Kara, evidently uncomfortable, trying to find a comfortable position. I groaned quietly, trying to wake myself up a little more so I could ask her what's wrong.
"Sorry," she whispered, sounding exhausted.
"Mmmt's okay," I mumbled incoherently, before motioning for her to come closer.
She instantly moved towards me, tucking her head into the crook of my neck. I wrapped my free arm around her waist, resting my hand on the slight exposed skin where the hem of her shirt was. I heard her breathe out contently and I pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head before trying to fall asleep again.
That morning, I ended up waking up before Kara, so I did my usual boring routine before deciding to cook some breakfast for us both. It didn't take long and by the time I was done, Kara walked into the kitchen area, a sleepy smile on her lips.
"Good morning," she said, approaching me with open arms.
I accepted her hug with a smile, kissing her cheek before saying, "Morning, sleepyhead. I made breakfast."
"I can see that," she noted, staring out at the island, where everything was. "You didn't need to do that."
I ushered her to take a seat as I said, "It's nothing special unfortunately. Just some eggs and whatnot. Buuuuut I figured since I'm here, I may as well make the effort. It might make you reconsider about us moving in together."
Kara sighed, massaging her forehead with discomfort. "Y/N..."
"If it's about staying in your flat, I'm completely okay with it," I added hopefully. "I mean, of course I'll miss my place, but if it means I get to see you every day then it's worth it, right?"
"Y/N, please, not today," she said, giving me a pleading look. "I'm just... I'm not in the mood."
I breathed out slowly. "Right, sorry."
Kara and I had been together for almost two years and I had proposed the idea of us moving in together a few months ago, since we pretty much spent most nights together anyway. I was instantly met with rejection, Kara claiming she wasn't ready. At first, I respected her decision, hoping it was just nerves and she'd eventually come around, but I was still waiting for the latter to happen.
I served up breakfast and the two of us sat there in an awkward silence, until I finally decided to say something.
"We still on for drinks with my friends after work?" I asked, glancing up at the quiet blonde.
Kara's expression told me everything I need to know - she'd forgotten. After swallowing a sip-full of orange juice, probably to buy time, she nodded. "Yeah, yeah, of course. I'll be there."
"You sure?"
She nodded. "Of course."
"If you're not up for it, it's fine," I said, giving her a knowing look.
"I said I'll be there," she promised, dropping her fork to grab my hand and give it a supportive squeeze. "I'm not feeling well, but I'm sure it'll pass. Sorry for being off this morning... you hate me?"
I gave her a small smile, unable to resist her adorable sparkling blue eyes. "I could never."
***
"...it worked out though because I got the promotion, so yeah, that's how I got here," Y/BF/N finished explaining with a bright smile.
"She says it so simply, but it took a lot of hardworking and perseverance on her part," her boyfriend, Hasan, added, making me laugh.
"Oh, shut up," Y/BF/N said with a blushing face, nudging her boyfriend in the arm.
I smiled at the two of them, admiring how cute they looked. I was having a long overdue catch up with my best friend and also meeting her new boyfriend. Well, they'd been together for almost six months, but he'd been on a business trip, so I was only just now meeting him. Kara was here, too, as promised, but she was acting a little off, worrying me a little. She was usually a bubbly personality, especially when it came to Y/BF/N, but all she'd been doing this evening was giving one-word responses and playing with my hand under the table.
"You guys want any more drinks? I'm gonna get another," I said, already standing up.
"Yeah sure, same again if you don't mind," Y/BF/N said.
"Thanks," Hasan added, nodding.
"Same again, got it," I said, before looking to Kara. "C'mon, Kara, you can give me a hand."
She seemed reluctant, but nodded and allowed me to drag her away from the table and to the bar. I ordered the drinks as Kara spoke.
"Did you really need my help to carry two drinks?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
I gave her a knowing look. "Kara, I asked for you help because I want to know what's wrong with you."
"What do you mean?"
"Kara, you know what I mean," I said. "You're acting weird and the others are beginning to notice. What's wrong?"
She sighed, frowning and avoiding my eyes. "I don't really want to be here..."
"Here's your drinks, Miss," the bartender said, pushing two glasses towards me.
"Cheers." I nodded his way before looking back to Kara with worried eyes. "I asked you this morning if you were still up for it. And again before we came in here."
"I know, but I just don't feel well," she admitted, giving me an apologetic glance, "and you were really looking forward to tonight."
I grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently. "Kara, I'm sorry if I made you feel like you had to come tonight. That wasn't my intention"
"You didn't," she reassured, meeting my eyes.
"Well, either way, I think we can call it a night," I said, giving her a small smile.
"You don't have to leave just because of me-"
"It's okay," I cut her off, grabbing the drinks from the bar. "Come on. Let's go back to mine."
She followed me to the table and I set the drinks down before grabbing my jacket.
“I'm really sorry, guys, but Kara isn't feeling too good, so I think we're gonna call it a night," I said with an apologetic smile. "It was really great to catch up though, and of course, to meet you Hasan."
"Aw, okay, I hope you feel better, Kara," Y/BF/N said, standing up and pulling us both in for a hug. "It was nice to see you both again."
"Thanks," Kara said, forcing a small smile.
"It was a pleasure, ladies," Hasan said, giving us a quick hug. "Hopefully we can meet again soon."
"Of course," I agreed, looking between them, before putting some money on the table. "Drinks are on me. Enjoy yourselves."
Kara and I left the bar, only to find ourselves in some terrible weather. It was chucking it down, making us both stay standing under the the umbrella extending from the roof of the bar.
"Damn, okay, this isn't going to help with you not feeling well," I muttered, glancing out at the road to see if I could spot a taxi. I looked to Kara, saying, "Just wait here. I'm gonna try and get a taxi for us."
Kara nodded and I headed out from the umbrella, feeling the cold rain smack down on me harshly. I sighed and stood on the edge of the pavement, looking out to see if I could spot a taxi in the distance. Eventually, in the darkness, I could spot the familiar yellow bumper of a taxi under the nearest street lamp, so I raised my hand to get its attention. It flashed its headlights briefly, so I lowered my hand and watched as it came to stop by me, except as it tried to pull over to the side, its tyres skidded in the rain and propelled the car towards at me at a dangerous speed.
I barely had the chance to register what was happening because everything moved so fast. One second I was stood at the edge of the pavement with headlights beaming at me, and the next I was on the wet ground, trying to understand why people were shouting around me.
"Miss, are you okay? Can you hear me?"
I looked up and saw a stranger trying to help me stand up. I looked around with confusion, only to see a few people gathered around a body in front of the taxi. A few more people were helping the taxi driver out of his cab and I realised that I was about to get hit, but someone had pushed me out the way. Wait a minute...
"Kara?!" I yelled, shoving the stranger out of my way to see if Kara was where I left her, but she wasn't.
I immediately ran over to the body in front of the taxi and felt my heart drop to the pit of my stomach when I saw the state she was in.
"Kara, oh my god, no, Kara," I cried out, kneeling by her side.
She was bleeding from her head, it soaking into her wet hair. The rain was washing the blood into a puddle all around her, which made me see the odd angle her leg was twisted in.
"Please open your eyes," I begged, my own eyes blurring with tears. I cupped her face, hoping she'd wake up, but I knew it was impossible. I leaned down and held my breath, hoping she would breathe to let me know she was alive. After what felt like forever, I felt a tickle against my skin, and I sat up with relief.
"We've called an ambulance, Miss," someone said from behind me, but I couldn't formulate a response because I was too focused on how pale Kara was getting as each second passed.
The ambulance arrived soon enough, but I couldn't remember the specifics because it went by in a blur. They were hooking Kara up to a bunch of machines and it was frightening me, seeing her look so vulnerable. I must have called Alex at one point during the ride because when I got to the hospital and ushered to the waiting room, Alex was already there.
When she saw me, she immediately came to give me a reassuring hug.
"I'm sorry, Alex, I don't know why she did that," I rambled out, feeling the guilt sink in. "She said she didn't want to come and I shouldn't have made her because then we wouldn't be in this mess. I'm so sorry."
Alex grabbed my arms and looked me in the eyes. "Y/N, calm down, it's okay. You can't blame yourself for what happened. But I need you to listen carefully, okay?"
I nodded, still feeling discomfort in my gut.
"I'm going to talk to Kara's doctors and get her transferred," she explained.
I furrowed my brows. "Transferred? Why would you do that?"
"I'll explain after, I just need you to stay calm and know that Kara will be okay."
I shook my head. "Alex, she looked really bad. I'm scared that... I don't know."
"I promise you she's going to be fine," she said confidently. "Now, I'm gonna talk to the doctors and when I get back, we're gonna take a drive."
"Alex-"
"Trust me, Y/N," she said, giving me a slight nod before leaving me standing in the waiting room, wondering what the hell was happening.
Alex returned, as promised, and she led me to her car before driving us to God knows where. I tried to get some answers out of the older Danvers sister, but she refused to budge and insisted I'd find out eventually. So, I was left to worry about Kara's life and wondering why Alex was so sure she'd be okay. It was her little sister and she didn't even seem concerned?
We reached our destination soon enough and I grew confused as I saw how secure this location was. I'd probably walked by this building so many times, yet never questioned its existence. I'd apparently never noticed the armed guards at the doors either.
"Come on, this way," Alex finally spoke when we left the car.
I sucked up a shaky breath and wiped away at my tears as I followed her through the building. The guards by the door seemed to know who she was as they straightened up with respect and let her pass. We took a lift up to which Alex seemed nervous, glancing my way every now and then. I desperately wanted to ask her where we were and if Kara was here, too, but I knew she'd give me the same response each time, so I stayed quiet.
Finally, the doors opened and I widened my eyes with surprise, taking in the vast room before me. There were people dressed in uniform all around, some at control panels and their attention focused on the giant monitors on the wall, others walking around with serious expressions.
I followed Alex like a lost lamb, letting her lead me up some stairs onto the balcony above. I tried to look around the room for a symbol or a logo - something that would tell me where we were, but I couldn't find anything distinguishable. I continued to follow Alex until we reached a room with glass windows, allowing me to see inside. I did a double take when I realised Kara was inside, laying on a bed, motionless.
"Kara!" I shouted, already running inside to her bedside.
I startled some of the (what I'm guessing are) nurses, as they moved out of my way. Alex waved her hand, signalling for them to leave.
"Why is she here?" I asked, worriedly, realising she wasn't in surgery or being treated for her visible injuries. "What's this...?" I motioned to the light sources above her, emitting some sort of yellow light on her pale skin. "She should be in surgery or something. Alex!"
I looked over my shoulder to see Alex stepping by my side, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and leading me away from her bedside for the moment. I wiped away my tears and waited for an explanation.
"I know you're confused and you're scared, but Y/N, I need you to listen to me," Alex spoke calmly, never breaking eye contact. I nodded as she continued. "As crazy as this sounds, you need to believe what I'm about to say. Kara needs you to."
"Alex, you're starting to scare me," I said, feeling shivers run down my spine. "What's wrong with Kara?"
Alex bit her lower lip before taking a breath. "Remember how I said Kara is gonna be fine?" I nodded as she continued, "Well, she is. She looks battered and bruised now, but it's because she exerted her powers and has momentarily lost them. A solar flare."
I stared at Alex like she was a ghost. "What the hell are you talking about?" I was convinced she'd lost her mind at this point. Maybe it was the shock of Kara's accident or something, but she was definitely not making sense.
"Y/N, Kara is Supergirl," she said bluntly. "The reason she's been off lately is because she's been agitated that she doesn't have her powers and she can't help people."
I gave her a confused look. "Alex, you sound insane!"
"Look, we're at the DEO," she continued to explain, not fazed by my judgemental expression. "I'm the director. We work to handle any extra-terrestrial threats invading our planet and we do that with the help of Supergirl."
I felt my heart rate increasing with every word she spoke. I could barely keep up with what she was saying.
"My parents adopted Kara when she landed on Earth," she explained, and I tried to understand. "She wears those glasses to hide her identity and to help with her x-ray vision."
"X-ray vision?" I squeaked helplessly.
She nodded. "Yes. I can even show you the suit, but Y/N, I'm telling you this because I need you to understand that Kara will be fine. She's technically vulnerable like a human, but as soon as her powers come back, she'll heal with those UV lamps and be absolutely fine."
Alex searched my eyes to see what I was thinking. I stared at her, letting her words digest, before finally speaking.
"Please tell me you're joking."
She groaned, before grabbing my shoulders. "Y/N! Look at her!" She twisted me around, forcing me to look at Kara. "She's Supergirl! You have to believe me."
I knew she was right, as much as I didn't want to admit it. If I admitted it, it meant that she didn't trust me with her secret and that she made me worry for her life when she would be fine this whole time.
"She didn't tell me," I finally spoke, my voice barely above a whisper.
I calmed down a little, reassured that she would be okay, but that didn't change the fact that I thought she was going to die not long ago. I felt like hot water bubbling over, trying to settle after someone turned the gas off, but I couldn't quite keep up.
"I'm sure she had her reasons, Y/N," Alex began sympathetically, but I cut her off.
"How do I get out of here?" I asked, tearing my gaze away from Kara and looking to Alex.
"You're leaving?" Alex sounded surprised.
"She'll be fine, right?" I asked and Alex nodded, about to respond, but I rolled my eyes and gave her a sarcastic smile. "Of course she will be - she's the Girl of Steel! Now, how do I get out of here?"
"Y/N, come on," Alex tried to reason.
"Come on what? She didn't-" I swallowed the lump in my throat. "She didn't tell me. There's nothing more to say. Now, please let me go home."
Alex searched my eyes for something more, and when she found nothing, she sighed and nodded before leading me out. I glanced at Kara one last time, feeling distaste at the thought of everything that had just happened, before following Alex.
***
I found myself lounging on my couch the next day, sulking into a bowl of popcorn as I watched The Office reruns. I was trying to use the show as a distraction, but all that was on my mind was Kara. I tried to imagine her as Supergirl, remembering all those times I'd seen the hero on the news or flying in the sky. That was her.
All those times when she'd bail on a date last minute, or when she'd leave a date early... it made sense. Why she didn't like the idea of taking a mini vacation with me, or sleeping over at hers all the time. I thought it was a weird quirk of hers, or that she was insecure about something, but no, she was too busy flying around National City.
And that explained why she didn't want to move in together. She hadn't told me the truth about her, so moving in and seeing her act even more secretive would raise questions. Here was me thinking she was losing interest, but no, she was hiding a huge part of herself.
I constantly tried to wonder why she didn't trust me. I mean, almost two years of being together was a long time. I thought I knew everything about her and vice versa. Why was this any different? I could care less if she was an alien and she knew that, so what was the reason?
Kara let me believe she was human. Vulnerable, breakable and soft, like me. She got hit by a car and let me believe, even for a moment, that she could have died. That it would have been my fault that she died, or at least, suffered major injuries. She let my mind run around with those horrible thoughts and scenarios, let it break me apart as I watched her limp, bruised and battered body lying on the wet tarmac.
She didn't tell me the truth.
I groaned loudly and stuffed more popcorn into my mouth when I realised I was getting stuck in my thoughts all over again - the same thoughts that had kept me up all night. I tried to focus my attention on what was happening on the TV when I heard a knock on my door.
I rolled my eyes and glanced at the door before choosing to ignore whoever it was and wallow in my own self-pity.
"Y/N, I know you're in there!" a voice called from the other side of the door, and I recognised it as Kara's.
I clenched my jaw and ignored her.
"I can see you watching TV," she said in a hushed voice. "Please open the door. I have to explain."
"That must be the x-ray vision, right?" I called back, bitterly.
I heard her sigh. "If you don't open the door, I'm gonna come in."
"That would be breaking in," I reminded her, before getting comfortable on the couch. "Go away."
It went quiet and I assumed she'd listened, but then I heard a loud crack. I looked to the door with a puzzled expression and stared wide-eyed at Kara, who had twisted the door knob enough to break the lock. She stepped in and pulled a face at the slight crack in the lock.
"I'll get that fixed, I swear," she said quickly, glancing up at me.
"You can't just break into somebody's home like that!" I yelled at her, standing up to glare at her.
"You're not somebody," she pointed out, closing the door behind her, "and I told you I would come in."
I crossed my arms across my chest, narrowing my glare. Admittedly, I was taken aback by the lack of injuries she had. Or should I say absence of injuries. I knew Alex said she would heal like nothing had happened, but it was different to see it with my own two eyes. It was like the accident had't happened. The colour was back in her skin, her head wasn't bleeding, she was walking. She looked as good as new, save for the sudden super strength I had just witnessed. Another thing I should have expected but was still surprised to see.
"I have to explain myself," she began, carefully.
"Alex caught me up on everything," I said angrily, "Supergirl."
She frowned, looking down at her shoes guiltily. "I wanted to tell you, Y/N."
I raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Was that before or after you almost died? Because saving an important piece of information like the fact that you're fucking indestructible would have been nice to know before I thought you were going to die because of me!"
"Y/N-"
"No!" I shouted, feeling my eyes grow watery at the reminder of last night. "You let me believe the worst, Kara! I thought you were going to die! You didn't see what I saw, okay?! There was blood and there- there were so many scratches and the puddle was turning r-red and I thought you were leaving me and it- it would be my fault because I made you come to see my friends and- and- and-"
"Y/N, it's okay," she cut in, moving forward to stand me up straight.
I was crying, I realised, my throat closed up and my vision blurred. I was too upset to push her away, and the warmth coming from her skin reminded me that she was here and alive and well, only intensifying my sobs.
"Y-you should have told me," I cried into her shoulder. "I thought you were going to leave me."
She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed gently, reassuringly. "I know," she agreed, her voice hoarse. I felt her nod several times as she said, "You're right. I should've told you. I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm so sorry."
I swallowed thickly, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat. "Why didn't you?"
She breathed out as I quietened down, managing myself the best I could. She pulled away, letting me see her glassy blue eyes behind her glasses. She pulled her glasses off, pocketing them, before rubbing the bridge of her nose and meeting my eyes again.
"It wasn't because of you," she reassured firstly. "It wasn't. I just kept putting it off. I didn't know how to say it and I never found the time. It's a stupid reason, I know. I wish I had something better. But I don't. I can only apologise, Y/N."
I pursed my lips in thought. Her eyes were darting between mine nervously and I tried to think what I could say.
"Do you hate me?" she spoke quietly, almost expectantly.
I felt her grip on my waist loosen as she prepared herself for my answer. I shook my head.
"I could never hate you," I answered. "I love you, Kara."
A hint of a smile ghosted her lips as she looked down, breathing out with relief.
"I want you to tell me everything," I continued, earning her attention. "I want to hear it from you."
She nodded. "Of course."
"And I want you to be honest with me from here on out," I added, giving her a knowing look. "You can't hide stuff from me, especially when it involves Supergirl."
"I promise I'll tell you everything," she said with a nod.
I read her expression, sensing the honesty. Satisfied with my instructions, I moved forward and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. I closed my eyes, appreciating her presence, even if she pissed me off a little.
She returned the embrace, pressing a kiss to my neck before pulling me closer.
“You'll never lose me," she said quietly. "I promise."
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