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#Party needs to come back again
problemswithbooks · 7 months
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So, watched live action One Piece and now I'm watching/reading the OG stuff. No where close to done but my brain decided to fixate on Arlong so I can't help but talk about him a bit.
Something that I find kind of interesting about Arlong is that if you read his backstory then go back to the main Arc he was in you actually realize he's way more mellow then he was in the past. Now, he's still awful but given what we're shown of him in Jinbe's flashbacks I think it kind of shows that he did, in a weird way (and not in the way Fisher Tiger would have wanted) changed due to Fisher Tiger's words on not killing humans.
In the past Arlong was constantly advocating for killing humans and terrorizing them so they'd learn their place. He never warms up to Koala despite the rest of the crew--including his own friends coming to like her. Everyone is sad to see her go even Kurobi who is later one of the worst in Arlong's crew.
After Fisher Tiger's Death it's clear Arlong was going to kill everyone in Koala's village (and no doubt would have killed Koala). He was stopped and put in Impel Down--a notoriously hellish prison (run by humans). It's not clear how long he was there, but probably at least a few months, which is a long time in a place like that.
After his pardon he leaves Jinbe and the Grand Line. Presumably he started taking over villages pretty soon after.
Now, what I find interesting is that this is by far the most justified Arlong is in his hate of humans, yet it's also the nicest we ever see him being to them. Before Fisher Tiger's death and reveal of being a slave, or his time in Impel Down Arlong hated humans because of things that although affected him were not things he himself suffered.
Arlong was never a slave, and at least Hachi, Chew and Kurobi were also never slaves. They were all orphans and this might have been the fault of human pirates who attacked Fish-Men Island, but we don't know that for sure, and it's never brought up as a grievance of theirs. They know Fish-men and mermaids are taken as slaves and they surely get racist treatment from the visiting humans, but they don't have first hand experience with human cruelty--like slavery or murder.
Not until Fisher Tiger is killed for helping a human girl go home after being a slave do they experience real loss due to humans. From there, Arlong is captured and imprisoned in Impel Down where he was surely treated terrible by humans during his time there (given they treat everyone bad there). Yet, despite saying he's the anger of the fish-men he does not actually kill nearly as many humans as you'd think, given how he acts in the past.
In fact in a lot of ways he seems to try not to kill humans if he can get away with other methods of control instead.
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This is when he takes over Nami's village. This is not long after Fisher Tiger's death which Arlong wanted to kill an entire village for. Yet, now, despite a huge uprising happening, with nearly the entire village of humans trying to attack them, he's not going for the kill.
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This is him probably less then a year before the panel above. He's furious and saying he embodies the rage of all Fish-Men. Yet he arrives to the village and tells his crew not to kill anyone despite their open hostility.
Yes, he wants money because he (supposedly) wants to take over the East Blue(world?) but he's already got his money and killing a few villagers should be no big deal--he plans on taking over more anyway.
In the end though, he does only kill Bell-mere due to her lack of money. She makes a good example, of course, but he was more then willing to let her live, despite her shoving a gun in his mouth before she used the money for Nami and her sister.
This is a huge change in a short amount of time.
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This is another time he and his crew don't kill for zero reason. They have been attacked all day by members of Luffy's crew. Zoro absolutely beat the shit out of his guys earlier that day. He was furious when Usopp dared to fire on him (to the point of flipping a damn house) but now they just leave two strangers (so not cash cows) alive? Usopp--was worth Arlong's anger, but suddenly two other random humans doing the same thing aren't worth killing?
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This is how he responds to Zoro being what I would assume is racist given what Arlong says. He does not know who this guy is--Zoro was found tied to a boat and just brought to him and his first words are racist. Yet, Arlong lets it 'slide once'. Again this is the guy who hit a child for no reason except she was human way before he lost Fisher Tiger or went to the human torture prison. Yet now he's putting up with a stranger calling him racist names?
Going back to Usopp, this is how furious Arlong was when he was attacked:
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He's so furious that for a moment he's willing to destroy one of his money making villages, right after losing one not to long ago, just to kill one human guy who didn't actually hurt him, nor are they a rebelling villager.
Yet this is how he acts once Usopp gets caught.
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This is after he comes back to Arlong Park to find most of his crew beaten to a pulp by Zoro. He flipped a house he was so pissed off at Usopp, ready to destroy an entire village that he gets good money from (and which he needs to keep Nami around) but suddenly after his crew is hurt he's not in the mood for killing Usopp ASAP?!
Also, he was only in Nami's village because he saw Genzo had a weapon. He thought the village was going to rebel like the last one and he wanted to nip it in the bud and kill Genzo before it got to far. That was the only reason he was there and yet, after Usopp makes him absolutely furious he and Kurobi leave Genzo alive.
Flashback Arlong, who was barely held back by Fisher Tiger would never have left any of these humans alive. They were in his eyes disrespectful, not fearing him like he wants, and most did not give him money--the only benefit he sees to keeping humans around. Yet, he lets all of them live--maybe he has plans to kill them later, but again, past Arlong would kill them ASAP.
I know that the most likely reason for this is because Oda didn't have everything with Arlong and Jinbe's past in his brain at this point (there's ten years or more between these parts in the story). Not only that he can't have important people like Usopp and Zoro being killed off. He also seemed less willing to kill characters off in the start of the manga, which is why Genzo and Zoro's friends lived (killing Genzo would also have been way to mean to Nami).
But from an in character perspective you could see this as Arlong being affected by Fisher Tiger's words of not killing humans. No, he can't fully follow that rule, let alone Fisher Tiger's orders to not treat humans badly. Arlong has hated humans for far to long, and he was barely managing to restrain himself for Fisher Tiger despite respecting/caring for the man with his whole heart.
He can't not kill humans or treat them like crap--but he can come up with excuses that limit how many he kills. A 'well, if they pay me, they can live', or a 'they're to weak to kill so I won't', or 'I'll give this guy a warning for insulting me before I kill him'.
He lets his crew drag him away from Nami's village because he doesn't really want to destroy it (for monetary gain not kindness obviously). Kurobi doesn't kill Genzo because he wasn't told to so he lets him off, despite that being the only reason they came in the first place (despite defiantly knowing killing him wouldn't get him in trouble and is Arlong's intention). That gives Arlong time to calm down and by the time Usopp is caught he's more willing to take the time to ask him what he's doing there and then let Nami deal with him.
Part of it might also be Arlong knowing Jinbe will come kick his ass as soon as he finds out he's been killing/terrifying humans. He can bribe the Marines, but only to a point. If he was slaughtering every human that looked at him wrong or said something racist he'd be to much of a threat for higher-up the Marines to ignore. Eventually they'd tell Jinbe to deal with him and Jinbe would. Arlong would know that and given he was beaten easily by Jinbe he also knows he'd lose immediately (and either be killed or sent back to Impel Down).
Either way, he's showing some restraint even though he doesn't have someone like Fisher Tiger, or Jinbe directly telling him to. For whatever reason Arlong is way more willing to keep humans alive if he can come up with an excuse for it. Which I find kind of fascinating and adds some depth to his character that I don't think was necessarily intentional, but is the strength of the writing that Oda was able to add something years down the line that somehow didn't conflict with what's already established.
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thebirdandhersong · 3 months
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It is some consolation that one day this will not make me bristle
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veone · 10 months
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I personally enjoy fight club because it’s very interesting to watch the physical and mental self destruction of person trying to find a purpose in life when they don’t desire the typical traditional american ideal life. To see the descent into delusion.
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wilchur · 7 months
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It really annoys me that there's no way to talk Astarion out of the ritual other than bargaining with the lives of the spawn to be honest. Makes it so that trying to persuade him as a character that is far from good and selfless, but cares about him a lot feels ooc as hell. Sure you can pick the "Cazador said this will kill you, don't risk it" option but it leads you back to either "But the spawn :(" or "Okay, let's do this". The dialogue tree there leaves no ambiguity to the morality of your character.
I wish there was a way to get the insight check after you voice the fear for his life and get a persuasion one if you succeed. Kind of a "I was ready to see them all burn for you, but I can see that you're not sure and the ritual claiming your life is not worth the risk. We'll find another way. There's still the crown, remember?" thing. They leaned too heavily into this ending being the "vampire fetish" one, assumed that if the player character doesn't care about a bunch of random spawn, they would not care about Astarion's emotional wellbeing and that's just not how people work to me. The way you have to be the one to make the choice what to do with the spawn if you do stop the ritual annoys the fuck out of me too. It's not my choice to make, my Durge does not give a fuck what happens to them once Cazador is gone and the party is safe. He would rather leave that choice to Astarion. He wants to kill them anyway? Great! Blood, guts and suffering! Lovely! He wants to spare them? Whatever love, if that's what you want. Let's just get the fuck out of here.
It would be nice to have that option, especially considering this is supposed to be all about Astarion reclaiming his autonomy.
I just don't like it when to not get fucked over by a game I have to sacrifice the roleplaying aspect of it idk. Even if my character genuinely wants Astarion to ascend no matter the cost it will have for others because he's convinced them that's what he needs to finally gain his freedom and they're the kind of "anything for you kitten" person, they still should be able to notice that Something Is Not Right without it going against their personality and feeling forced.
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storybook-tiles · 11 months
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massive fan of dustin being given eddie’s guitar. let him bard that shit up.
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born-to-lose · 7 months
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"No more giving my number out to random people who flirt with me at work" I say as if I'm not going into the next shift with a pen and tissues in my pocket
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gideonisms · 11 months
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Sometimes you will start reading about the Harry potter cult and look up 4 hours later and it's 1 am...
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foxgirlmoth · 23 days
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And is the white american burnout from hearing about a genocide overseas in the room with us right now?
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fourteenthz · 1 month
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Always thinking abt how thesa/thancred know everything abt the other. How he is the one that can tell what she's feeling just by looking into her eyes.
And then how for the first time ever in amaurot he doesn't recognize what's happening inside her head. And how in ultima thule, when he sees it again, he learns something new about her that no one ever will. Lies down.
#he's the one that doesn't expect her to always be a hero always the one trying to pull the weight off of her because he knows her and knows#how hard it is for her. and he is the only one that does for the longest time. and then he feels entirely off the loop by the end of shb#bc they are so close to being something and he thinks that knowing her so genuinely is a point in his favor#only to realize that there's something so heavy abt her that he doesn't understand at all. he doesn't know that she doesn't either by then#so it just. weights him just as hard. for him to go patches like accepting that whatever. he still knows her so that will come to light#one day or another. and it does just when they are all back in ultima thule. just when he's councious again and he learns that.#not by her telling him but just genuinely watching her like he learnt most things from her. except this is different#so he just stands there. everybody else overwhelmed by everything else while he has to ruminates that new thing as well.#that 'they don't know' party meme but it's thancred watching scions celebrate and hug each other#while he slowly realizes that part of his girlfriend will never truly be known to him like it was for mf emet-selch and whoever that was#that a part of her is lost with them and maybe that's fine. bc other part of her is now hugging the twins and staring directly at him#and begging for him to come closer to her with her eyes. a part of her that didn't beg either of the other two to stay longer like she'd#been praying for him since she set foot in ultima thule. so that. that's nice. he isn't competing for anything ever#he has that part of hers to love and he is loved just as much by that part of her so yeah. it's nice I think.#...... I'm fine don't look at me.#i like how independent from each other they are and still despite that how damn in love they are.#something about the huge slow burn I have for them in my head helps me tackle that idea so much better.#like how they love for one another grew from just. how deeply theh trusted and respected each other over the years#so that will always be the base of their feelings..... sits down. they are just SO AKSJDJA BITES MY FISTS#sometimes I'm like 'i will thow away my wolship at any minute if canon suggests something entirely different' and other times im like#bitting wolcred hard. no one take it away from me pls they are my extremely respectful and healthy relationship.#dont touch them they are healing. pls. WAIT.#does this damn post means anything to anyone but me???? idek I just like the idea of thesa being so okay with emet and hythlo even#when deep down something in her isn't at all. (its me I'm not ok about them) but also she just. knows who she is at this point.#and she knows the ones behind her are the ones that she loves. its SO MUCH mirroring emet's 'the past we knew/loved' quote#SHE SEES THAG SO CLEARLY. and having that moment in ultima thule being the moment only 1 other person sees it as well. and it's mf thancred#in the end I just adore them and the whole 'you are you and its that you that I love' that they have. not who they were or what anyone else#see of them. nerds in love. disgusting. i need to make them kiss rn or I'll riot. why am I having those thoughts mid creative block DAMN IT#kelly says#wol posting
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quickhacked · 1 year
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– Playground.
Characters >> Vitali Dobrynin (oc), a bunch of oc side characters Total >> 5.3k words Warnings >> Alcohol, drugs, NSFW (public :^/, unprotected, rough, mentions of other sexual activities which are most definitely questionable choices on Vitali’s end), some mentions of semi-gendered pre-op body parts on a trans man’s body Context >> Vitali is in college and has lost contact with both his family and his best friend, leaving him mostly to his own devices and he’s not handling it very well
‘Hey, that’s- that’s my dress!’
‘So? You’re not wearing it-’
‘You fucking slut- Give it back!’
‘No!’
Vitali found himself in a spacious bathroom, positioned at the double sink made from black marble in front of a large mirror covering most of the wall. He was surrounded by girls- Jen’s friends, people he did not know by name and did not want to get to know better- and largely ignored their high-pitched shrieking while carefully applying his eyeliner.
They had a party at a local BD club; a fancy one at that, one session costing nearly as much as three months rent, but with her parents’ money Jen had been able to rent the place for the night. The party itself would be anything but fancy, though- Vitali knew exactly what kind of people were going to show up, and already felt a bit sorry for next day’s cleaning crew.
‘You going to run off by yourself again, babe?’ Jen asked, popping up right next to him without warning and startling him to the point he nearly ruined his makeup. ‘We’re gonna smoke pot on the roof terrace with Stacey’s boyfriend and his chooms.’
‘Nick’s there,’ Vitali bluntly answered.
‘Gross! V, Jesus- Just come with me?’
‘Don’t wait up.’
Vitali cared very little for Jen’s plans. He did not even like her- and he knew the feeling was most definitely mutual, yet Jen kept him around because he was the only straight-A student willing to share his notes and homework with her.
‘Bite his dick off when you’re done with him,’ Jen said, plucking Vitali’s eyeliner out of his hand the moment he lowered it to put it down with the rest of his stuff. ‘Don’t let him use you like that.’
‘Paying customer,’ Vitali shrugged in response. ‘I need cash.’
Jen rolled her eyes. ‘Don’t we all.’
Vitali glanced around. Not really, no.
He quickly gathered all his hair behind his head and pulled it in a bun; his signature style at this point, but the only one he was comfortable with- while sober, at least.
Jen reached out for him again, eyeliner already back on the sink despite not having been used by her yet, and she opened the two top buttons of his cropped, short-sleeved button-up to reveal part of his chest. No binder, that night- or anything else for that matter- unnecessary, since no one cared anyway and everyone knew he was a man.
Those who dared to question it always ended up unrecognizable for a week or two.
‘If you’re gonna whore yourself out do it properly at least,’ Jen mumbled. ‘Already wearing long jeans- show some skin, babe.’
‘My tits are going to fall out.’ Vitali tried to protest, but Jen clicked her tongue over his complaining and pulled his light blue denims up a bit higher by the waistband.
‘They’re good tits, V. People should be grateful to get a glimpse of that.’
Alright, she had a point. Still, Vitali redid one of the buttons.
He stared at himself in the bathroom mirror while Jen grabbed his eyeliner again and leaned forward to start applying it. The other girls paid them no attention, still yelling at each other about their clothes and whoever it was they all wanted to hook up with that night-
Except for Stacy, of course. But if anything she was the only one there in need of a better output.
‘We finish at 2 AM,’ Jen said. ‘No minute later. Leaving for my father’s bar- we can get the good stuff there, then we’ll split up for Clouds and- well, whatever food place is still open, probably, for whoever doesn’t wanna go.’ A pause. ‘You listening?’
‘2 AM for afterparty at your father’s bar,’ Vitali answered, absently brushing a loose strand of hair out of his face.
‘Clouds after?’
‘No thanks.’
‘Whatever. Your loss.’
It’s a terrible place. I’m not losing anything.
Vitali clenched his jaw, but wisely did not respond anymore.
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1:38 AM.
Vitali was wasted, yet unnoticeably so as always; looking as exhausted and absent as he always did, thousand yard stare into nothing while slowly navigating through the dense crowd of the club, face and arms by then already covered in neon body paint.
Wasted, and high; while he was not liked by his peers all that much, he had still been offered enough drags from joints for the effects to take place. He knew they still contained nicotine, and he had made someone the promise to stop smoking, but-
Well, that someone wasn’t there. Not anymore.
The music was loud, even with his earbuds in. Vitali had spent hours on the dancefloor already, first with Jen and some other girls, then with Jackie who had unexpectedly showed up- had briefly made out with him, even, two separate times- and then with a few random guys he had never seen before, some of which had also had the pleasure of getting a taste of Vitali’s lips.
He left the club’s main hall, darting into the hallway with the restrooms and braindance corners. Some people stumbled right into him and he was met with some laughter and yelled apologies- he politely smiled back and forcefully pushed them aside, moving deeper into the hallway.
His eyes were pulled into some of the BD rooms- people sitting on dirty couches wearing special headsets, hands stuffed in their own clothes, or others’ clothes- or hands explicitly traveling over bodies, clothes already on the floor- while making the most obscene noises, audible above the music.
Were it not for the man standing close by, waiting for him, Vitali would have joined.
He recognized him, even in the dark and with his limited eyesight now that he was under the influence of several things at once. A tall figure, broad-shouldered, pretty-faced- covered in neon body paint as well, several smudges decorating his cheeks and lips, telling Vitali he was not going to be the first of the night.
‘Vito.’
Nick could barely stand on his legs anymore, swaying from side to side as he reached for Vitali’s waist and dragged him closer, lips finding his with ease- he tasted like overly expensive wine, tobacco, and chewing gum.
‘Nicky,’ Vitali replied into the kiss, grabbing the man’s hips and dragging him with until his own back was pressed solidly against the wall of the hallway and they were out of the way for people passing by. ‘Where have you been?’
‘Around,’ was the only answer he received. Nick leaned in and pressed his lips against Vitali’s neck, hands eagerly traveling over his body- a man of actions, and especially when piss drunk he usually wasted no time.
Vitali hummed in response and rested his head against the wall as Nick began to grind against him; lips curled up into a small smile the moment he felt a bulge press prominently against his thigh.
‘Have been waiting for you,’ Nick mumbled, pressing their bodies together as close as he could while reaching for Vitali’s hair and undoing his bun. ‘Worried you wouldn’t show.’
‘Don’t.’ Vitali repositioned himself against the wall and shook his head a bit, hair dropping down past and over his shoulders, some strands falling forward and covering his face. ‘When I inevitably ditch you I will let you know.’
Nick grabbed a handful of his hair and tugged on it hard to tilt Vitali’s head up and to kiss the underside of his jaw. Vitali allowed him- strangely aroused by Nick’s rough eagerness, and strangely comfortable in his locked position against the wall.
He did not worry. If Nick would truly hurt him, Vitali could break his skull with ease if he wanted to. And Nick knew that.
‘Vito- Relax, baby.’
Nick had clearly noticed the remaining tension in Vitali’s body, and he looked up again and smiled. ‘Wanna grab a room?’
Vitali blinked slowly and glanced around- and made direct eye-contact with another guy a few feet away, chest pressed against the wall, hips rolling back into the thrusts of his partner.
He turned his head back to Nick and leaned closer-
‘Just get it over with.’
Vitali took out his earbuds and allowed the music from the club to swallow him whole, surrendering himself to the overwhelming sensations clouding his mind. Nick immediately pressed him hard into the wall, lips on his neck again, hands traveling down- briefly fumbling with Vitali’s pants before yanking them down- and finding their way to him, like countless times before.
‘Damn, baby,’ he breathed, his teeth grazing past Vitali’s skin and his fingers running over him. ‘Got nothing for me?’
‘Medication side effects,’ Vitali plainly answered, dipping his head to press it against Nick’s shoulder.
Motherfucker. You haven’t made me wet since your first chance.
Why Vitali kept coming back, he was no longer sure. He needed the distraction, he guessed- though plenty of men around to fuck, so why Nick?
Safety, familiarity. Nicky was not good, but he was desperate- and respectful as he could be, unprejudiced and surprisingly smart enough to know better than to use the wrong words in a certain context.
Yes, even when barely present anymore because of whatever he had been smoking or drinking. That was probably why Vitali couldn’t stay away.
Nick pulled the top buttons of Vitali’s shirt open, pushing the left of it aside to reveal part of his bare chest. Vitali allowed him to move his head down and get closer, press his tongue against him- and to grab his chest and squeeze hard while his tongue licked all the way back up to Vitali’s jaw.
Yes, it felt good. No, Vitali was not all that impressed anymore. Nick had a limited set of tricks which he cycled through and- even though Vitali always stayed open-minded and patient with others- it was starting to bore him a bit.
‘You look good,’ Nick breathed, fingers making a messy attempt at jerking Vitali off as his other hand ran through his hair again. ‘Dressed up for me?’
‘Sure,’ Vitali replied, gently tugging on his own shirt until the other half of his chest was also exposed to the hot and stuffy air of the club. Nick took the bait without hesitation, teeth grazing past Vitali’s hardened nipple as he moaned against his skin.
And Vitali surrendered again, raising his arms above his head and draping them over his hair as he rolled his hips forward on the beat of the music and allowed Nick to touch him wherever he pleased. His head was starting to spin a little, throbbing in his half-pulled down boxer briefs as he yearned for more stimulation, dry humping the air.
Oh, what a good distraction it was. No more worries about anything- just him, a partner- or two, or three, on other occasions- the heat between them and the building tension in his body. The loud music was a nice touch; as were the noises of other people’s pleasure surrounding him- at least, what he could hear of it.
Nick had lowered his own pants now, hand rapidly pumping up and down as quick relief- and he did not waste any time, grabbing Vitali’s underwear and pulling it down far enough to be able to force his legs apart and he rubbed himself eagerly over Vitali’s crotch, throbbing, and already moaning in his ear.
And then he slowly pushed in- ‘Mmh-! So tight…’- deeper and deeper- ‘Fuck, baby- feels so fucking good…’- and Vitali rolled his eyes as he wrapped his arms tightly around Nick’s broad shoulders, a quiet gasp leaving his lips when he bottomed out way too soon. A girl passed by them, her eyes finding Vitali’s- and she leaned over Nick, standing on her tiptoes, to kiss Vitali and push her tongue into his mouth.
A heavenly distraction from those first few thrusts, she tasted like sweetened liquor and candy- her hands soft and soothing on Vitali’s skin as she cupped his face and hummed contently into the kiss. She let go, yet kept their heads as steady in place as the light bounce of Vitali’s body allowed and she watched until his eyes glossed over, and a shaky sigh of relief finally left his lips.
‘Good boy,’ she mouthed at him, and for a split second Vitali wondered if she was even real- a complete stranger, like most others from earlier that night, yet so sweet and gentle to the point Vitali doubted her entire existence. Mind playing tricks on him, possibly-
But the girl kissed him again and that sweet, overwhelming taste of liquor and candy convinced him otherwise, and for a brief moment it was as if Nick was not there at all.
They parted, and Vitali sighed once more as he rested his face against Nick’s, hands grabbing the back of his hair as he was lifted up a bit at the next, deep thrust. He watched the girl take out a black marker, and allowed her to leave her number on the backside of his arm-
He would not call her back. She deserved better than him.
‘You’ve been saving yourself for me,’ Nick falsely stated between grunts as the girl wandered off again, his lips wet against Vitali’s skin and his hands tightly locking his hips in place.
‘Bold assumption,’ Vitali merely responded, vividly recalling his quickie in the communal restroom of the college dorm of Stacey’s boyfriend with said man, from only the day before.
‘Hey, now. Be nice.’
Nick slowed down, reaching up to Vitali’s face and grabbing his chin to tilt his head up- but Vitali instantly made a biting motion at him, causing Nick to quickly pull his hand back.
‘I am not nice,’ he said, hands moving down to the back and sides of Nick’s neck and he pulled him closer, applying light pressure as he did and causing him to moan quietly.
‘Now go on- Fuck me. I know you want to.’
Another quiet moan and grunt left Nick’s lips when Vitali tightened around him, and he continued- picking up his pace, and his force, and Vitali lightly winced when Nick lifted up his right leg a bit too high and his groin painfully protested.
Should see a doc for that.
‘Come on, baby,’ Nick grunted in his ear, squeezing Vitali’s thigh. He shifted position- finally hitting the right spot and Vitali gasped, grabbing the back of the other man’s shirt and pulling him closer as another hard thrust caused his teeth to clack together and his back to chafe the wall.
Yes, Nick was desperate- but so was Vitali, as embarrassing as it was for him to admit. Deprived entirely from the comfort he had once had when he had still been in high school- an emptiness in him that needed to be filled, but nobody could- nobody came even close- so he sought out distraction after distraction and took every opportunity he could get to feel something again.
And oh, it was not good- but it was good enough, locked against the wall, Nick buried deep inside him and holding him up by his ass, wildly chasing his own finish as he moaned Vitali’s name with closed eyes and red cheeks.
And he went deeper, and harder, finally forcing a moan from Vitali’s lips and causing his eyes to flutter shut. He arched his back, humming when Nick eagerly cupped his chest again- another shaky moan, and building tension- but it was not enough yet, not nearly close enough, but Nick’s release followed with a gasp and a relieved sigh into Vitali’s ear while he filled him up and lazily thrusted it deeper in.
Classic.
A pause, as Nick buried his face in the crook of Vitali’s neck, his hot breath heavy against his skin. Vitali reached for the man’s back pocket and found a lighter and a joint- he flicked it out, leaned over Nick’s shoulder to put it between his lips and he lit it, raising his eyebrows when Nick grunted and rolled his hips forward a final time, lifting Vitali’s body up a little as he pressed him tighter into the wall.
‘Not enough yet?’ Vitali asked, sucking in a breath and slipping Nick’s lighter into the chest pocket of his own shirt before leaning back against the wall. Nick did not answer him- instead, he held still again, both hands moving up to Vitali’s chest once more and his lips traveling back up to his jaw.
Yeah, he was far gone. But it mattered little to Vitali, taking another drag as he let his eyes wander into the hallway again; the boys next to them had finished up and slowly made their way past them, the taller one giving Vitali a wink when he walked by.
Vitali arched his back again to push his chest closer to Nick’s touch, the back of his head rolling over the wall as he looked up at the ceiling to expose more of his neck- but Nick pulled back now, his hunger finally sated, and an exasperated sigh left Vitali’s lips as he dropped himself back against the wall entirely and lifted his arm.
A glance at his watch- 2:19 AM.
Jen’s gonna kill me.
Nick pulled out and fixed his clothing, suddenly acting as if Vitali was not even there. Vitali merely watched- it was no new situation to him- and he left his joint dangle from his lips as he hooked his arms behind his back, waiting for Nick to finish and redirect his attention to him.
And he got what he wanted; of course he did. Exposed like he was- shirt open, pants down- in the hallway of a club no less- truly a sight for sore eyes, and Nick hummed as he grabbed Vitali’s waist and made him sway along to the music a bit.
‘You’re hot,’ he said, another smile spreading on his face as he leaned forward again.
‘I know.’ Vitali rested his head against the wall to avoid another kiss and puffed some smoke in Nick’s face. ‘Pay up.’
Even in the darkness Vitali could see a shadow wash over his face, but it did him nothing. He did not ask much- but he needed the money, already having lost his second job in a short period of time and his savings steadily running out.
‘Seriously?’ Nick huffed and mockingly rolled his eyes. ‘V, come on. We can’t keep doing this.’
‘No protection.’ Vitali took another drag from his joint and slightly turned his hips away when Nick squeezed his ass. ‘No prep. Did not even get to cum. Eddies- stat.’
Oh, now the man just looked pathetic.
Like a kicked puppy, Nick briefly removed his hands from Vitali’s body- eyes big upon learning he apparently was not the pleaser he thought himself to be. Vitali shrugged and reached down, to pull up his boxer briefs and pants again.
‘No- No, baby, wait,’ Nick immediately said and stopped him, then lowered through his knees. Vitali rolled his eyes again- but allowed Nick to wrap his arms around his thighs and take him into his mouth without hesitation; though Vitali knew it was no longer out of eagerness, but merely to get it over with.
And again it was nothing special- some sucking and prodding, fingers finding their way back inside but reaching not far enough to hit any good spot- but at least he was there, and in that moment it was better than having to do the job himself.
Vitali took a long drag and closed his eyes, humming along to the music as Nick worked. When he opened them again, there was someone else with them- a man, around his own age, staring without shame, and Vitali reached out for his hand and pulled him closer.
Kiss, after kiss, after kiss- no one ever stayed. Well, Jackie did- but they were friends, nothing more. Vitali did not want to let it get to that.
But it was good, to kiss- to get lost in it, to be that close to someone- and especially in that moment it was exactly what Vitali needed, a second set of hands on his body and lips against his own as Nick’s mouth between his legs finally started to cause more blood to rush down, arousal running through his torso.
Okay, it felt alright now. Whether it was the alcohol, the weed, the soreness, the kiss, his exhaustion- Vitali was unsure. But he did not care, either. He rolled his hips forward, grabbing a handful of Nick’s hair as he dragged him closer while breaking his kiss, the stranger briefly moving his mouth to Vitali’s neck before taking his joint from him and putting it between his own lips.
‘That’s it, baby,’ Vitali moaned, reaching for his own chest and squeezing, pretending his hand was someone else’s. Nick hummed against him, the vibrations tightening the knot in Vitali’s stomach, the building heat-
Another kiss, parted lips against his own, tongue finding its way into his mouth and he moaned again. Yes, it felt good- the warm, hazy feeling in his head more so than the act itself- it felt good to not worry, to not care-
And Vitali sighed as relief washed over him, eyes rolling back in their sockets and legs momentarily giving out, to the point only Nick’s hands were holding him up.
‘Dripping, now,’ Nick mumbled. ‘Good, baby- that’s what I like to see.’
Shut up, cunt. That’s mostly just your own fucking fluids, not mine.
Silence, as Nick slowly got back up on his feet. The other man was still there, leaving kisses on Vitali’s jaw and cheek, hand having found its way to his chest too and thumb rubbing over his nipple.
‘Meet me behind the club, ten minutes,’ he said into Vitali’s ear. ‘I can do much better.’
Vitali believed him. Yet said nothing as the stranger wandered off, with no intent on ever following him-
He deserved better than Vitali. Much, much better.
Nick leaned in- Vitali had momentarily forgotten about him- his lips still parted and glossy as he tried to kiss him; but Vitali pushed his fingers against Nick’s mouth and pushed him back, creating a distance between them.
‘Three-fourth of full price,’ he bluntly said.
A small discount. For a lousy orgasm.
‘You’re a fucking cunt,’ Nick spat at him, pushing him back against the wall and reaching down again- though Vitali was unsure with what intent exactly and in return grabbed Nick’s wrist before he could touch him, and he squeezed lightly as a warning while leaning in a little closer.
‘And you can’t get any bitches and feel the constant need to use me as your outlet,’ he merely responded, and Nick quickly- but forcefully- pulled his hand back. Vitali stared up at him for a second, then grabbed the man’s collar and dragged him closer, until their lips were practically touching while he continued to speak.
‘Now pay up before I break your pretty nose.’
Nick forcefully kissed Vitali, hands grabbing his hair and body locking him in place once more. Vitali bit Nick’s lower lip hard in return and pulled on his hair until his head was tilted upward, and Vitali could lick some of the remnants of cum- his own, but mostly Nick’s- off the man’s chin.
He watched as the outer rim of Nick’s irises lit up neon blue and a sum of money popped up in his view- three-fourth of the full price, and Vitali shot him a sarcastic smile as he loosened his grip on his hair.
‘For your fucking booze and drugs,’ Nick sneered.
For my meds and surgery. Thanks.
Vitali leaned in and kissed him again- but passionately this time, stealing the air from his lungs as he allowed Nick’s tongue free access, secretly longing for a more intimate moment between them- but knowing very well it would never get to any of that.
‘I’ll make sure to enjoy it more than I enjoyed you,’ he breathed into the kiss, and forcefully pushed Nick away from him.
It was all clear again, now. The hallway they stood in, the music from the hall next door- too loud, and not good at all- and the moans and cries of pleasure surrounding them, combined with the smell of bodies and the heat of the air and it all just made Vitali nauseous now.
‘You’re gonna die alone, in a fucking ditch next to the highway somewhere,’ Nick spat as Vitali fixed his underwear and pants. He reached for his shirt- but Nick stopped him, suddenly, pushing his hands aside to- right, first give another hard squeeze, classic- and then to fix his shirt for him, buttoning it all the way to the top.
‘Too much to fuckin’ handle,’ he muttered, only just loud enough for Vitali to hear. ‘Why’d you think no one stays?’
Vitali pushed Nick’s hands away. ‘Then why do you keep coming back?’
Nick said nothing.
Vitali stared at him as he gathered his hair again and put it back up in a bun, pushing himself away from the wall and slowly wandering off without breaking eye contact, until Nick looked away first. Vitali rolled his eyes and scoffed, and he began making his way away from the rest of the party, through the neon-lit hallway, toward the exit on the other side.
God, he was fucking stupid.
He was well aware of it- none of his behavior was good for him, but he cared so little now. He had nothing; nobody. Yes, Jackie, but- it was different now. Everything was different and there was nothing he could do about it anymore.
The hallway seemed to double in size before his eyes, stretching out as he stumbled forward and nearly crashed into another couple- he apologized, in Russian for some reason, and tried to continue walking but it was so crowded around him again suddenly he felt himself lose control again.
Hands grasped at him from all sides, continuously pulling him in- he allowed it to happen, stopping every few feet or so to kiss, to steal a drink, to take a huff from a joint- allowed two girls to suck several hickeys on his chest- allowed some guy to cup his cheek and softly set him down on his knees for a while, next to three others-
2:56 AM.
The exit was so close.
Vitali did not want to leave yet.
He sat on the floor, watching others- too tired to stand, or try to stand, or just move at all. Had another drink, or two, or three- someone straddled his lap for a bit, a classmate, they kissed him over and over until they fell asleep and he pushed them aside- grabbed someone else’s jacket from the floor and draped it over them as they quietly snored.
3:15 AM.
He wanted to stay.
He wanted to get lost again, lose himself- but he couldn’t, despite being as far gone as he was. Too far gone, perhaps; he was a bit nauseous, still, but merely sat unmoving, and watched-
More kissing, more strangers, yet nothing helped. He was dragged back to his feet- didn’t help, made him dizzy- he could barely stand on his legs and he just wanted to go to bed.
3:41 AM.
‘Come on, come with us!’
The girls were barely drunk compared to him and their laughter was actively hurting his head. They tried to pull him along- them and their boyfriends and girlfriends- to do whatever it was they were planning on doing in one of the BD rooms, but Vitali managed to free himself from their grips and stumbled toward the exit instead.
Oh, but he wanted to stay, and join them-
‘Hey, come on!’
A hand gripped his wrist tightly and he was yanked back. Vitali turned his head-
The guy was tall, and attractive. Hair color indiscernible yet hairstyle strangely familiar-
Mikhail?
Of course it wasn’t him.
But everything around him suddenly went quiet.
Vitali blinked, the music fading into the background as he stumbled and nearly fell. The guy tried kissing him- Vitali pushed him away, and when that turned out not to be enough of a hint he let his fist collide with the guy’s jaw, a sudden rush of adrenaline overtaking his body by the memory of his friend.
Leave.
He stumbled back, pushing himself past a small gathering of people- they just stared, and laughed, said things to him and about him to others but he could no longer understand any of it-
4:00 AM.
Vitali pushed himself outside through the back entrance of the club.
He gasped for air, inhaling the cool air of the early morning hours; nothing fresh about it, but to him it was similar to the air of a flowery meadow in comparison to the stench of the club.
It was raining a bit. It felt nice.
Vitali exhaled and looked up at the sky, allowing the rain to wash the body paint and makeup off his face. How tired he was now- how he longed for the comfort of his own bed, despite it being merely a mattress on the floor.
He tried so hard to not think about him.
But it was hard, still. Even after nearly a year of not speaking with him-
Vitali was unable to even finish his thoughts.
He had to go home. He didn’t care about Jen- no missed texts or calls, she didn’t care about him either- so he just had to get out of there, somehow, and he wasn’t even sure where exactly he was.
Somehow, this happened nearly every week. He gave in, gave too much, got too drunk and too high and his sex-addicted ass would make mistake after mistake after mistake until he regretted all his actions and just wanted to disappear; and then the next time it would happen all over again, memories haunting his mind and he needed to forget- and it worked, until it didn’t, and by then the memories had doubled and next time he would find himself chasing that same high again until his faults would swallow him whole.
And for what?
What the fuck was he missing?
He knew.
He knew exactly- but he refused to think about it.
It was his own fucking fault.
Tears welled up in Vitali’s eyes. He was thinking about him again- his bright crooked smile, his bright blue eyes- the gentleness of his hands, the softness of his hair- his arms wrapped around Vitali’s waist as they slow-danced in the kitchen at three in the morning, Vitali’s head resting comfortably against his chest-
He lost his balance and fell on his knees on the ground, his entire body shaking suddenly. He finally realized he was cold; and shivered, a choked sob leaving his throat.
Oh, how he missed him. An empty space in his soul that no amount of alcohol, drugs or sex could fill- but what else could Vitali do other than trying, knowing he was probably never going to see Mikhail again?
He screamed.
Startled himself with it, a bit; a loud, mournful cry echoing through the streets of Night City, catching nobody’s attention- yet he almost wished someone would hear, and he would no longer have to be alone.
Oh, how he missed him- he missed his jokes, his tics, his laugh- the warmth of his body next to him as they slept, the comfort of his arms as they took a bath, the softness of his lips, pressed against Vitali’s cheek-
They had not been together. Not at any point in time. But there had been no need for that.
Mikhail was the only one who had never walked away, and then Vitali had lost him-
And with that, he had also lost himself.
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dorkicon · 11 months
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bitching abt homophobia n shit at my job in the tags o7 happy pride
#so i voluenteer at a library n work there through a 3rd party job center over the summer. ive volunteered there for like 5 yrs so i know --#--the staff there p well#anyway yeah so like last year our pride display got taken down bc someone complained. our director didnt really contest this.#our pride display got taken down again. this time with the board threatening to cut funding if we put it back up.#no contesting yet again#its literally just the corner of a 3 sided display podium with some gay books or whatever#some guy comes in and tears up our lgbt author rec list. the director removes those as well#there r 2 bi clerks and one genderqueer clerk and me! the fag gopher and she still doesnt feel it pertinent 2 stick up for the ppl who--#work there#or maybe she does right? like i want to believe she does bc ive known her for 5 maybe 6 actually years. ive gone to christmas--#parties at her house. shes been someone i can count on before and yet here she is letting us all down#bc its not just me or the gay ppl who work there right its for the ppl in my shitty fucking southern town who have basic common decency#shes someone i thought was some kind of ally HAHAH...like that term feels lame but#.....yeah yknow?#she even said shed be moving picture books with gay parents and shit into a quote quote adult matters section into the juvenile section#i assume on request of the board bc obvs being trans or gay or whatever is of course an adult matter that will taint our beautiful little#tow headed bastards#we even had the guy who requested the pride display be taken down come in today and CHECK to make sure no faggy books were out#ive been very angry about it and i just need to ...spit it up somewhere. maybe a transformers blog isnt the best place for it but whatever.#sorry about my language lol.#shes my boss and its going to be a real issue for me bc she laughed saying id have to start cleaning bathrooms this year and i legitimately#--nearly had to leave the room. like haha really funny. glad you can laugh about shit. did you know im a fucking queer.
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Let's recap my day so far (it's not even lunch time):
I got woken (again) (as per fucking usual) by the road works outside the house (as opposed to the endless construction next door) (no it doesn't make for a nice change)
Spent half an hour stewing in dysphoria (it makes me miserable that my doctor refuses to prescribe progesterone) (other doctors in this city do) (you can get fined for importing it without a prescription I checked) before getting up
Walked to the mall for a very specific soda (that only this one grocery chain carries) (I've only seen it in this specific store) (they didn't have it even though the website said they did) (yes someone checked the back for me)
I lost my gorgeous clip-on bow (an anniversary present) (from literally a week ago)
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forecast-rain · 5 months
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rotating the idea of characters other than siffrin in the time loop...
(spoilers in tags)
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sharkieboi · 1 year
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Neverafter is absolutely eating my entire soul and has just fully reawakened my passion for fairy tales and so now im actually drawing and writing again to make a Neverafter OC based on Bluebeard’s wife
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i am NOT about to cry reading jedtavius in front of my father i am NOT about to cry reading jedtavius in front of my father i am NOT about to cry reading j
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lecliss · 8 months
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I think a 10yo just got attached to me in genshin and if this keeps up its gonna make me not wanna play cuz I don't wanna come off as mean if I have to tell her to give me some space, but I wanna play in peace ya know?
#she came into my world i think saturday night or sunday morning. thats how long i played. and chatted for a minute then left#then the second i logged on this morning she immediately hopped in and started calling me Ed#and she was asking questions and im polite so i answered and she was like you can ask me questions#and since she asked how old i was i asked back snd she was all uh um well im 10#and thats fine to me cuz im not gonna be a weirdo anyway#but then she asked if i had a wife and i said no im not interested in girls so thats probably when she was sure i was a safe adult#and someone else joined and she dm'ed me that she didnt like him and right after he left so did she#and when i opened my world back up later she immediately popped in again#and wanted me to go to whatever a playstation party is while i was doing a quest and i had to politely tell her no twice#and then it segwayed into material hunting with her so i could still do something productive in game at least#but at one point she called me her bff and started talking about how she just got a phone#and im worried she may end up asking for my number or something. like hell nah#like. im all for being friendly and playing a game together and casual chatting. again. i have no intention of EVER being a weirdo#but shes coming off as immediately REALLY attached and i dont need to be going through shit like that again#ive had people get REALLY attached to me in some games previously and not leave me alone while im trying to play#and then they blow up at me when i ask for some space. so i dont wanna deal with that again#especially from a 10yo. i really dont wanna upset anyone by rejecting them or asking for space#but sometimes its too much and i just wanna do what i want in the game#and i kinda really dont wanna have a 10yo tailing me the whole time i wanna play#especially cuz shes 10 ya know? friends are cool but im a little too old to be a bff to her imo#i think i'll just try keeping my world closed when i log off so i wont log on and she immediately pop in first thing#i dont wanna block her off completely cuz i dont mind if she comes by every once in a while. just not all the time ya know?#personal
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