#Tbh if all the shit that happened to tim happened to me id probably also drop out??? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gunpowderdtim · 3 years

Note

please talk to us about your Tim's life headcannons? 🥺

- Tim grows up in foster care for as long as he can remember

- this is fun bc adbandonment issues and a tendency to cling to people he meets that show him kindness and convincing himself that maybe if he's very good and nice people will let him stay longer and maybe like him

- maybe they wont leave him

- he's bounced around place to place with no sence of permanence

- from school to school

- (by school i mean like, boarding schools with houses and prefects. Like ww1 type pay for schools. Corporal punishment and all the shit like that)

- Tim made friends with the expectation that he would lose them in a few months

- got shit grades because he has really bad ADHD and isnt medicated at all and doesn't have things like extra time or teachers giving him notes

- he's trying but gave up at a certain point because he cannot focus well and his auditory processing is very bad and he cannot listen to lectures because he misses every 4th word and can't focus during tests

- Tim as an elementary school student was;;;; very fidgety ADHD wandering around.

- a problem child

- eventully he's like 16 and in a maybe a bit more permanent position

- he and Bertie become fast friends

- Tim is... Very very very clingy

- he's never had a friend he viewed as any sort of permanent and Bertie is so good and he's very much pouring everything he can into keeping Bertie his friend and making Bertie like him

- and Bertie does like Tim and does regard Tim his best friend but at a certain point that becomes a bit much

- they talk about ir probably and Tim does back off a bit but... He's still absolutley desperately clingy

- and he still stakes so much on he and Bertie's relationship

- i need to emphasize here that Tim and Bertie are not romantic to me

- Tim is kind of. Unhealthily clingy because of very valid reasons but that doesnt make it a good thing, their relationship isn't perfect

- I do need emphasise that Bertie loves tim as well. Bertie does solidly view Tim as his best friend and cares about him so much.

- but when Tim says things like "youre the only good thing in my life and id rather die than loose you" or 'i probably would have killed myself if i wasnt friends with you'

- that's. Very not good.

- Bertie loves tim and cares about Tim so much and does take care of him in many ways but Tim has alot of issues he's working through that stress Bertie out alot

- but they are best friends

- Tim is not an easy person to love and not an easy person to take care of

- he's a bad of trauma and issues and that doesn't change the fact that Bertie loves him

- but it does mean Bertie is stressed over Tim alot

- and Tim does not mean to do this at all

- alot of the reason why i am uncomfy with shipping them in my writing is because I view their relationship like this.

- With Tim as desperate and clingy and Bertie as caring and loving and concerned

- and a romantic relationship would be very power imbalanced because Tim already bends over backwards to not upset Bertie

- and already doesn't set boundaries well

- and while Bertie woudlnt hurt Tim intentionally i don't think that Tim would set any boundaries he would need

- and I just don't like the idea of that

- and i find this dynamic alot more interesting than romance tbh

- anyway

- Tim and Bertie are seniors together

- i don't know the British equilivant of that

- upperclassmen???

- final grade of highschool together

- anyway Bertie is 18 and Tim is 17

- on another note Tim is chronically Ill

- chronic fatigue and chronic pain because i say so

- so they're young adults

- they also grew up during like;;; a constant threat of war breaking out

- Tim!Earth post set to come out soon for context on the history but basically

- world war 1 never really stopped, moon colonization happened, litterally most of the world is on the edge of war constantly, Espessially England and there was always a war threat

- with like fire drills there was bomb drills and air strike drills and various other drills

- there was always a feeling of not "will another war happen?" But "when and how soon and where?"

- so anyway

- Tim and Bertie are young adults

- they're poor as shit, rooming together, trying to make ends meet

- Tim can work but bc of his chronic illness's it's hard for him to keep a steady job

- Bertie is doing is best

- but y'know

- its hard

- and Tim has alot of internalized ableism bc not only adhd but he was told he was making up his symptoms/being dramatic alot and just. He isn't great

- then the War rolled around

- now both of them fully believed in alot of propaganda, mostly about england being in the right and the queen being good

- history class was very biased for them

- so they're poor

- and the army gives benefits, free college, free housing, free things that they need. Things that could make their lives so much easier

- so of course Bertie is like: im going

- and Tim is like: then I will too obviously. We're going together.

- this turns into a fight with Tim's adbandonment issues flaring and the entire "you said you woudlnt leave me alone again"

- and Bertie shooting back that he's trying to make things better for them and that he's sick

- "every man woman and child strong enough to hold a gun" Tim could enlist despite being chronically I'll don't @ me

- and Tim ends up winning more through changing his volume and yelling until Bertie got tired of fighting

- and recruiters song

- God recruiters song

- they believe every word.

- they do think they'll be home by Christmas

- they enlist together

- and the war happens

- alot of why Tim broke so badly at Bertie's death is that Bertie was the first permanent thing he had

- he refused to even concider what not having Bertie would be like

- because Bertie was supposed to be permanent

- was supposed to be with him forever because he was old enough to not be controlled anymore

- and he could do what he wanted

- and stay with whoever he wanted

- and that was bertie

#asks #gunpowder tim #tim #ableism tw #suicide tw #war tw #long post

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redrobin-detective · 5 years

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Yeah Hush is... not good...

I’m just… If you had asked me three days ago about Hush I would have had nothing but good words. A comic classic, one of the first Batman stories I read and an old favorite, a combo of Jim Lee’s stellar art and Loeb’s masterful storytelling.

Rereading on shift last night reminded me that I haven’t physically read it in years and I had a. forgotten how messy it was b. Probably didn’t understand Batman the way I do now. I’m way too tired for long explanations and yall don’t want to see it so I’ll lay out the basics.

- We herald Jim Lee as some kind of artistic deity and by gum some of his panels were beautiful but also every. single. shot that had a woman in it was painful. Everyone was in a body hugging, tit revealing, gravity defying outfit posed in a way no one ACTUALLY stands all tall, curvy and stacked and at times uncanny valley. It was honestly really distracting.

- Its no secret I love Jeph Loeb’s TLH/DV and this story was clearly continued /borrowed from those stories but it just felt kinda cheap? He employed a lot of the same narrative devices used in both stories which I understand but it just really didn’t fit the theme of the story. The big bad guy reveal was not only super obvious but also just badly scripted and a frigging disaster overall.

- Baby me read it and was like “look at all the Batfam! What a good story” but a lot of them are characterized or twisted to suit the story. Selina, my poor Selina, she was a catty (pun intended) bitch the whole time. ‘owo she gave B a kiss’ but like she was either actively fighting against B or needing to be saved, even when she was “helping” she was demeaning Bruce and his coworkers (family) and I’m worried on what Lee/Loeb consider a healthy M/F relationship. Alfred felt flat and remarkably uninvolved in such a personal Bruce Wayne story. Tommy Elliot was a Gary Stu from the start and didn’t have 1 (one) genuine moment the whole book.

- The few bright spots of characterization were Dick and his relationship with B was wonderful and Tim’s little deception with Bruce/Selina was very nice (though it shouldn’t have been necessary).

- The worst to suffer was Bruce and it honestly broke my heart to see Loeb do that. They did the ‘darkness and pain are my only friends, I am so alone, I have no one who understands so the mission is all that matters’ which fits early Bruce more not a Batman who’s grown and matured and amassed a pretty sizable family, in and out of costume. There’s one line where I actually put the book down and stewed for a minute, when he’s fighting Superman where he says “Clark is a fundamentally good man and deep down I am not” which is such a criminally inaccurate description of Bruce Wayne who goddamn loves people more than just about anyone on Earth. There were fleeting moments where we see his kindness and understanding of his heart’s great strength (his whole Jay monologue) but they feel SO out of sorts compared to the theme of the rest of the book.

- Okay I will say I do still like the Jason scene. If only bc i wish I could’ve been a fan as this came out and lost my shit with everyone else like ‘JASON TODD!?!?’ Plus it was fun to pick out where real Jay exchanged for Clay as we know happens in UtRH. Its a bit messy like the rest of the story and kind of doesn’t make sense if you think on it but this was a great example of a comic thing being kind of bad but you’re like “ya know, i don’t care I still like anyway”. I DIDN’T like B’s constant bashing of Robin Jay though ‘tbh Jason was never this good’ ‘he viewed it as a game that got him killed’. I know its not a new idea and almost assuredly was done as set up to UtRH which came out the next year I think but still made me frown.

- Uh rogues were used poorly, where baby me saw it as a grand adventure taking the best of Batman me now was just annoyed at them trying to cram as many familiar faces as possible. Plus the whole idea that Elliot as Hush was working with all these guys is a wreck. I do really still dig the idea of Eddie being behind it all, wish they did more with “Riddler knows Bats’ ID” but w/e. Also idk wtf they were doing to harvey but it was a disservice to his arc in TLH

- Basically the story itself was chaotic, difficult to follow and the conclusion is both obvious and made no sense. The characters were warped visions of themselves tilted through a sexist, grim dark lens to make a Batman world that just felt off with every single word. There’s still elements I did enjoy, I cant say I hate-hate it but wow I won’t be rereading that one for a while.

#Batman Hush #idk I guess I got massive whiplash from what I remembered vs what the story actually is #for so long I cited it as definitive batfam as a good example of a story to get into comics #but ug probably won't recc that to newbies now #it doesn't paint the best picture of the batfam

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seesgood · 7 years

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#the footsteps thing for timoline bc I low-key wanna hear your ideas for baby west ngl

&. send me 👣 and i’ll talk about our muses’ child and how they are as parents.

MY BABY WEST. --- fucking hell literally like i’m so in love with this kid and he doesn’t even exist. like do they even have other kids??? is it just west? WHO FREAKIN KNOWS

pregnancy

do the parents have one child or are there twins, triplets, etc.? — one at a time.one at a time.

what do the parents name the baby(ies)? — okay, 3 kids — amelia elizabeth ( as you said, but care will always call her lizzie or liz or mia or something id ), baby west, and probably another accidental one when west is like 2, maybe named like jason? or taylor? JASON TAYLOR RIGGINS? called JT for short bc he’ll probs be the total jock of the family bc there has to be one ok

did the parents discuss other names, too? — they probably pick these on the first go, like caroline would buy a shit ton of books and then tim would be like “what about west?” and it would be like badda bing badda boom #done

how do they decide on the name(s)? — “what about (insert name)” “i like it” boom, baby named.

what would the child have been named if they had been the opposite sex? — if west was a girl, they probably would have went with like scarlett after scarlett o’hara obviously bc that’s caroline’s idol and bc he probably wouldn’t let her name a kid rhett

did the parents find out the sex during pregnancy or is it a surprise? — dude hell yes. control freak caroline forbes? she’d want to know the second she could.

were there any complications in the pregnancy? — a few. the forbes women don’t exactly have easy pregnancies, so with west she went into labor a bit early, but the hospital fixed things and she was assigned bed rest for the last month or two of her pregnancy ( which she was not happy about )

which parent carried the baby? — tim was def the one that was preggers. honestly. what kind of question is this?

how easy was it for them to conceive? — well, i mean, like lets just say that they have 2-3 kids but they never actively tried to have any kids, ya feel?

was the child carried to term? — west was a week early, which sent caroline into a panic bc they didn’t even have diapers yet ( she sent tim to get them while she was in labor )

did the parents deliver in a hospital, at home, or somewhere else? — they don’t live too far, but not too close either.

did the delivery go according to plan? — not according to caroline’s, but then again she had like a super strict ‘down to the minute’ plan that would have been impossible to keep

did the parents have any daily rituals (reading to their belly, etc.)? — probably not official ones. but he’d probably make her dinner, and they’d watch game tapes together and cute things would happen

do the parents have a baby shower? — yes. and jfc the amount of football shit they got was obscene.

what about a babymoon? — what the fuck is that

how supportive was the other parent during the pregnancy? — supportive af. like overly supportive. like caroline might have had to snap at him a few times to get him to chill tf out bc she wasn’t that breakable.

which parent worried the most and which one was chill? — neither of them are chill when it comes to their babies

which parent left pregnancy books all over the house and which didn’t touch them? — caroline left them everywhere, tim pretended not to touch them but probably flipped through when she wasn’t looking

infancy/toddler

is the child a good sleeper? — the perfect sleeper.

how often does the child cry? — only when tim accidentally lets him watch bambi, or when the stray cat they feed eats a bird in front of him.

which parent finds it easier to get them to stop? — both of them. he’d stop the second they picked him up and took him inside.

how does the child behave at bath time? — he sings songs. and talks a lot about what he’s learning in school.

what is the child’s first word? — ‘ball’

how bad do the child’s diapers smell and which parent has the misfortune of changing them? — it’s not too bad. but tim changes everything bc he’s a gent

which parent has a harder time adapting to their new role? — they both do, but it’s not too hard. it’s harder with two kids because you have less hands but with west they don’t have too much of the ‘we wanna go out but cant’ kinda thing because they probably don’t want to leave him all that much

just how terrible are the terrible twos? — not bad, which is slightly terrifying for them because they just keep waiting for the terror to hit

does the child go to day care? if they do, how old are they when they start? — yeah, he does. but daycare is more like ‘go to football practice with daddy’ because he has separation issues from both parents

if the child doesn’t go to day care, who says home to look after them? — they take him to work on the days he doesn’t wanna go to daycare

which parent babyproofs the house? — caroline. tim tries, and kinda fails.

which parents designs the baby room? — they both do.

which parent is more likely to give in to tantrums? — caroline, shockingly.

is the child spoiled with toys? — yes.

which parent does the potty training? — they both do.

which parent do they take after more? — it’s an even mix

what habits do they pick up from their parents? — when he’s older, he picks up tim’s accent ( which is also bc they live in dillon but still ), caroline’s empathy, tim’s grumpy look, and caroline’s eye roll

how often is the parents’ date night now? — every week. they make it a priority

who babysits when the parents go out? — the entirety of the dillon panthers.

child

how did the parents decide what school to send the child to? or was the child home-schooled? — there’s probably only like one school in the town

who packs the lunches? — caroline. tim slips in an extra pack of cookies when she’s not looking

are the lunches eaten by the child, or thrown away? — he eats them

which parent helps with homework? — tim tries, but then he gets all like ‘what the hell is this shit and why does my kid need to know it’ so caroline takes over

what does the report card look like? — a’s and b’s with a shit ton of teacher’s comments about him being their favorite student

is the child/ren popular, or only have a few friends? — he tries to make friends with everyone.literally everyone.

does the child play a sport? — they try him in football, but he’s not cut out for it, so no, currently he’s not in any sports.

does the child play an instrument? — no. but he loves music.

do both parents turn up to the matches/recitals? — if there are any, care and tim are at every damn one

which parent buys their clothes? or does the child pick out their own clothes?— he picks his own but care takes him shopping and has some input

what’s the child’s style? — plain. simple. flannels, jeans, t-shirts, he kinda takes after tim. caroline tries to buy him things that are more like stylish and he just shakes his head.

is the child more interested in playing inside or outside? — outside.

how often does the child get in trouble? what do they get in trouble for? — never.

does the child have any siblings/cousins? how well do they get along? --- literally everyone gets along with west. he’s deemed himself protector of all of his siblings though, and his parents. even though the feel the need to protect him bc he’s a precious cinnamon roll

what pet does the child beg for? do they get it? --- a goat. and yes. thanks to tim. knowing a guy. like tbh i feel like it would be one of those super low key sketchy things like yeah nbd tim riggins just knows like...goat dealers.

is the child shy and reserved, or outgoing and gregarious? ---- shy and reserved unless you get him going on something he likes in which case he will not shut up

does the child still take after the same parent they did as a toddler? --- he’s kind of a perfect mesh of all the good parts of the both of them

teen

what does the child want to be/do when they finish school? --- god ugh this little fucker probably wants to work for the peace corps or something, or doctors without boarders, or be some kind of marine biologist who would crusade for cleaning up the oceans

which parent does the child get along with better? --- both of them.

is the child out all night partying and drinking with their friends, or staying in studiously doing homework? or both? --- he does both. except they’re not all that worried about him getting into trouble because he’s the guy that will stay out until 3am making sure everyone else gets home safe and the only time he’s ever been arrested is when he punched a guy for not backing off when a girl told him to ( tim had to pick him up from the police station. both parents were super hella proud )

how does the child go on their SATs? do they make it to the SATs? --- he’s wicked smart. he passes with flying colors.

does the child go to prom with their friends, or a partner? --- he goes with his “friend” before he comes out to his parents but like...caroline definitely knows. hence why she makes them “jokingly” take all the cliche prom pictures

how do the parents feel about their first boyfriend/girlfriend? --- tim gives west’s first serious boyfriend ‘the talk’ like straight up. caroline is super excited about them dating. literally will be the biggest shipper.

what are the child’s friends like? do they get along with the parents? --- he’s friends with all types, from the good studious kids to the football team to the loner, reject stoner crowd, so whenever he has friends over it’s always a mix. he’s just that guy that wants everyone to be happy, so he’s there for everyone.

what kind of music is the child into? --- he raided tim’s old music collection, so anything that was in there, he adores.

how do the parents and child/ren go learning to drive? is it a disaster, or does it go fairly smoothly? --- it’s a mutual decision between both tim and west that caroline should not be allowed in the car for any driving lessons. so tim teaches him, and it goes mostly okay.

does the child have a casual/part time job? what is it? --- volunteers at the youth center a few miles out of town, also works at the tasty freeze bc it’s literally a rite of passage at this point

does the child hang out with their family, or are they too ‘cool’ now? --- nah man he’ll have friends over just to hang out with his family.

what’s the child’s personality like? --- tough but tender.

who does the child take after now? --- caroline says it’s tim. tim says it’s caroline.

adult

does the child make it to adulthood? --- he makes it brilliantly. ( wow dude i coulda angsted you so hard but i didn’t so you’re welcome. )

does the child end up in the job/lifestyle they dreamed about? why? --- no. he probably becomes a lawyer or something, someone that could have the power to help people who needed it, to make a difference.

are their any hiccups in the road? --- he gets into a pretty serious car accident when he’s away at college, driving someone home from a frat party and a drunk driver ran a red light, he was pretty banged up. a few broken bones, a couple nights in the hospital and two freaked out parents later though he was still trying to make sure the other driver was okay.

does the child move far away from their family, or stay close? --- he drifts, but he calls once a week just to stay in touch. if he’s in town, he’ll crash on the guest room and go to football games.

what would the parents prefer? --- that he be happy.

does the child have any significant others? any children of their own? --- okay but hc that west stays with the same guy he started dating back in high school and that they’ve had a rough go of it being from small town conservative texas and all that but they’re still together and basically like tim and caroline just adopt his partner as their unofficial bonus child

how do the parents feel about being or not being grandparents? --- oh my fucking god they would be the best grandparents.

#everything is west riggins and nothing hurts goodbye #brxknbxnes

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disableddisaster · 7 years

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Do all of them ! Blease !!! I Stan u so hard I need the insider deets!!!!!

now THATS what i like to hear :))

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

asfgsfdg im only listening to after laughter rn

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

@gaysun but thats happening so idk. come to alberta tristan

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

theres not a single book in this room and im not leaving to go look for one

4: What do you think about most?

sfgafdgasfg idk myself, probably

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

”he drank ur orange juice the fuck” - you

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

just my underwear

7: What’s your strangest talent?

im gay

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

girls are good boys are bad (noah fence i love u)

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

yes actually :’)

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

man idk

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

FUCKIGN black BEETLES

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

i dont think so? kleenex?

13: What’s your religion?

man idk !!!!

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

walking to work or looking for dogs

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

in front im a vain bxtch

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

patd.............................................

17: What was the last lie you told?

i know i lied to my mom the other day but i told the truth five minutes later and i dont know what i lied abt

18: Do you believe in karma?

no lol

19: What does your URL mean?

bella swan is a big ass lesbian

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

dude i dont fucking KNOW who am i!!!!!!

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

kristen stewart.. . hayley williams..... shrugs

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

no i dont want any BUGS crawlin around in there.there was an episode of greys anatomy when that happened

23: How do you vent your anger?

i yell to my mom tbh

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

MUGS

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

video chatting is so fun

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

NO LOL

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

sound i hate: paper towels

sound i love: rain i guess

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

what IF I fail at life completely wow

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

YES AND YES

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

right, my computer. left, my cup!

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

man idk AIR??????

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

high school

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

CANADIAN west coast

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

hmmmm bad question\

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

AUGHFGKDF not to be dramatic but there isnt one

36: Define Art.

dude i dont know. why is this so fake deep

37: Do you believe in luck?

NO !!!!!

38: What’s the weather like right now?

its dark out and im inside!!! i dont know!! i think its warm

39: What time is it?

12:25am :O

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

yes! and no

41: What was the last book you read?

eclipse..................sdfghsdghsdfgsfg

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

..............................who does......

43: Do you have any nicknames?

shy!!!!!!!!!!!

44: What was the last film you saw?

dgsfsdfg new moon!!!!!!

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

i dont know!!!!!!!!! i injure myself a lot im clumsy

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

no!!!!!!!!!!! let them be free.

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

twilight, dragon quest 8, paramores new album,.

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

TAKE A WILD FUCKign GUESS

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

YES AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA it was awful

50: Do you believe in magic?

.......................no

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

YES LOL

52: What is your astrological sign?

im a libra :^)

53: Do you save money or spend it?

i cant fuckign save money for shit

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

a grande coconut cold brew coffee with extra coconut milk :O

55: Love or lust?

what dpes this mean.

56: In a relationship?

no!

57: How many relationships have you had?

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

fun fact i have a really really short tongue

59: Where were you yesterday?

went to the bank in the city and the MALL and ate a sandwich

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

no :(:(:(

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

SOCKS ARE GARBAGE

62: What’s your favourite animal?

CATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and sheep and giraffes. mostly cats

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

fgkdfgosfkg u think i have a secret weapon???????? bxtch i dont even like me!!!!

64: Where is your best friend?

i texted her and asked her one sec. ok she replied “im in my bed!!!!!”

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

@gaysun @gaysun @hurricance @hurricance @popcornlesbians :)

66: What is your heritage?

idk! im ukrainian and french

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

playing dragon quest and listening to @quidditchlesbian s wild stories

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

this is so werid asgafdgadsf

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

duh

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

i mean probably. im kind of annoying tho

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

sfgadfgadsf save the dog im not HEARTLESS my job gives me no hours anyways lol

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) probably bc i overshare b) probably just pet my cats c) sort of?

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

TRUST

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

..................someBODY

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

2980

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

trust and communication also i think attraction is important tbh

77: How can I win your heart?

be a cute girl and be nice to me. maybe have a cute animal or smth

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

MMMMMMMMMM ABLEISM

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

gay

80: What size shoes do you wear?

5? 6?

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

”gay bxtch”

82: What is your favourite word?

LESBIAN

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

i wish i was on my phone id add the yellow heart emoji

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

”wow id die for u”

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

earlier i was listening to live in chicago

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

yellow adn PINK

87: What is your current desktop picture?

its a pic of bella swan

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

theoretically like donald trump but probably my abuser :)

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

bxtch u could ask me literally anything and id tell u. literally aything

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

go back to sleep. plot twist im actually just having a sleep paralysis episode

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

the vegetables are mushrooms and ALSO iwanna teleport or fly

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

the other morning i had a really relaxing breakfast at tim hortons i just listened to music and ate my bagel. it was nice

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

JSDFKJSFG u think i can choose? ur FUNNY!!

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

oh,,.. .my fucign god. tjis is such a loaded question,. HAYLEY WILLIAMS

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

JENNA (or nyc but shes not there rn so probably just wherever she is!)

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

i think my bio dad was in jail once. maybe

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

no ew throwing up is a huge fear of mine

98: Ever been on a plane?

yep i love planes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

“im gay”

THANKS TRISTAN

#homonormality

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captainxandis · 7 years

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Do you headcanon any characters as neurodivergent?

Excuse me as I grab my projector nd set it up real quick lmao you will probably see a recurring theme of my disorders popping up which uh... Yeah nope totally nothing to do with me having them and being like “HEY I DO THAT TOO SOMETIMES UR LIKE ME” whenever a character does something that could even mildly be considered like me

anYWAYS LET’S START WITH CASSANDRA CAIN BECAUSE I LOVE HER

Cassandra Cain is ADHD and Dyslexic. She has PTSD and also suffers from depression/body image issues on occasion (those last 3 are canon I’m p sure). I’ve also heard some people hc her as autistic too which is just A+

And onto Selina Kyle because I love her too... She’s bipolar and I’ll fight all of you on this one like I’ve literally fought ppl on this one before get in line let’s go

Speaking of ppl being bipolar... All of the Waynes are. Bruce, his parents (or at the very least his dad) nd also Damian. Bruce also has issues with paranoia and anxiety tho and Dami still has panic attacks occasionally since he’s come back to life

Tim Drake has ADD and anxiety and don’t even get me started on his insomnia issues ok give the poor boy a break nd let him sleep

Jason has PTSD and is also bipolar (Bruce had him diagnosed when he started noticing Jason having a lot of the problems he had when Jay was smol)

... TBH I feel like all of the batfam have some form of PTSD because there’s no way you can just live the lives they lead and have these horrible things happen to them and be 100% okay 100% of the time

Oh also Duke has ADHD

Kara Danvers is autistic (theres a super great post about it and it was a+ and im gonna find it after I post this and rb it again because in my mind its canon now)

Oh shit somehow I’ve forgotten Harper. She’s bipolar and like I don’t really have evidence for her being bipolar like I do with most people but idrc I’ll fight you guys. Also her lil bro is ADD and they constantly remind eachother to take their meds

Idk I’m tired and not like. Fully able to add onto this list like I’d normally be able to so if you have questions about this hmu with more asks I have pretty compelling arguments for most of them and the ones I don’t it’s only because I haven’t read enough stuff with them in it anyways yeah nah feel free to ask more if youre curious ide k

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sharksfood · 7 years

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tbh most of this i have been thinking about for a while but i havent been able to form into words and im afraid its actually a really mean thing, but ive accidentally latched onto someone else’s nihilism and self deprecation just now so this may come off worse than i intended it to sound.

so ive always feel unease and fear and anxiety when in public ever since the end of elementary school, but being with friends lessens this feeling somewhat. i always feel like everyone is looking at me and judging me and gossiping about me, and although i say i dont care what other people think of me and i prefer to do my own thing, my brain is always telling me to conform and impress others because if i dont then they will hate me and say hurtful things about me, and this goes for strangers to loved ones, even on the internet. because its so much worse than before i think theres something seriously wrong with me.

however, this year i think its gotten worse, to the point where i start to pick up on peoples’ conversations and for some god damn reason i think they are talking about me, and if not about me specifically they are talking about something related to my identity or something i enjoy and i always think they are saying negative things. its never good. so i think this and then i automatically want to protect myself and back up my hobbies or whatever but i also want to hide in a hole and scrape away all the negative parts of myself so that i’ll be exactly what they want from me. if someone mentions they dont like something that i love then i hate myself for liking that thing.

ill give some examples.

one that has been happening the most is im sitting in class and not listening to music, im just working and i can hear the other students talking around me. i can hear one conversation at the other end of the table, but i cant exactly make you what they are saying. i do hear them laugh or say “oooh” in a condescending tone. i automatically think they are talking about me. what about me? is my makeup smeared? did they see the stickers on my laptop and its something they hate? did i forget deodorant today? no. oh god, did they see my godzilla meme on tumblr and havent realized thats me?? maybe they know its me. shit, i talked to one of them earlier today.... maybe they are talking about that and how stupid i looked or when i mispronounced the word “gouache” or when i snorted while laughing? did they see me at lunch laughing at my phone??? WHAT DID I DO

and if they are not talking then i think they are looking at me. and this has happened. i see people staring at me and i dont do anything about them because if i call them out on it theyll act like im the one at fault, and maybe i am at fault?

another example, and the specifics dont really matter but its just the scenario that happens a lot, i was going through my instagram once and Suzy (of game grumps and kitty kat gaming) had posted some artwork based on Alice in Wonderland. of course i was excited and it was really cool!!! so i liked it and started reading her caption, and in it she explained how much she loves the books and all that. she also said that she HATES the tim burton alice films. i dont remember why she hates them, but that doesnt matter. I love anything Alice in Wonderland, and those films are especially important to me. so i was heartbroken. and then i started thinking, oh god, maybe i shouldnt like those movies. i mean, wouldnt a real alice in wonderland fan only like the original works? and this is Suzy, shes somewhat famous! if i ever met her she’d know right away that i like the tim burton alice movies and then she would hate me! id want to talk to her about alice in wonderland and she would tell me i cant be an alice fan because i like the tim burton movies!!!

and then i cried a lot. what sucks is that i know most of that isnt true. and just because i like something doesnt mean someone who dislikes that thing will hate me. and it doesnt matter if this person is famous, they’re just a person! i know its all irrational thinking but in the moment, and even now, i still feel like it matters. it freaks me out and makes me all kinds of sad and then i start overthinking myself.

the last example is one that keeps me up at night, and i still think im a horrible person because of this. i finally confided in a good friend about something that most people would think is not a big deal, and it really isn’t, but my build up to the confession made it seem all the more important. when i told this to my friend, they had a negative reaction, not over the top of anything, more of a “oh, thats kinda weird.” or “really?” i didnt expect them to be over the moon about it, and in my mind their reaction was 10x worse. now i regret ever telling them this information, because now i think they think of me differently, like im a bad person. realistically they probably have forgotten about it, and i really hope so, but in my mind its something that now sticks out of me like a sore thumb. now, anything i say or do is tarnished. and i will never tell anyone.

what i confessed is nothing serious. i didnt kill someone, i dont believe in a horrible moral or notion, its nothing like that. but in my mind it is one of the most shameful things possible. and i worry that maybe i am a horrible person! but i cant tell anyone without going through the same feelings of shame all over again. the good news is that the info i confessed to my friend may not be the same, i think it has lessened over time. but im scared to revisit the source.

anyways, what im really trying to get at here is that i dont feel comfortable in public and i hate it. i hate constantly feeling stressed and judged and laughed at, and ill never know if its true or just my brain. because im hyperempathetic, i feel people’s negative emotions tenfold, and because my self confidence and self worth is so low, those negative emotions become about me. and then my anxiety make this a constant occurrence that is boiled in my brain over and over again.

this is a big reason why i spend so much time alone and why i lack the energy to socialize with people. this is the reason why i distance myself from others when im having a rough day or my mental shit is worse than usual. this is why its hard for me to make friends. i hate it.

now i dont really know why i made this post. maybe someone knows why i think like this?

#negative -#do/nt/ re/bl/og/ please

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ts-nightingaleislands · 4 years

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Episode #5- “I forgot Austin has a date with Mary Jane daily so Im gonna have to cut him some slack”- Chris

holy fucking shit! i cant believe i jumped ship like that! it could be a great game changing move or i could be the next damn boot . gotta play hard or go home....just hope i dont go home lol

GIVE ME A R, GIVE ME AN A, GIVE ME A T I N G S! The ratings jumped out last night! I literally slept on the craziness and had to get a skype call from my pal Gwen to get up an hour after the challenge. We quickly felt that it was best to just throw the challenge but that didnt stop a lot of unexpected ish happening: Steven jumping ship, AnnMarie/Sara/Kyle/Steven alliance chat expose, Austin coming to our tribe pleading for a hero like he was the reincarnation of Bonnie Tyler, Rizo making the Friends chat I kept forgetting to with Gwen/him/me/AnnMarie/Sara/Liam, us deciding to blindside Tim, Liam telling Austin about it who then proceeds to tell Tim and Kyle, Liam getting exposed for having connections to the other tribe, Liam in the hot seat, Austin in the hotseat, and the realization that we finally get to start playing woo.

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So I'm feeling a lil better now with time passing. I have talked with everyone at least some and I think I made a few strong connections that will carry me through this first tribal . I trust chris , gwen, and annmarie the most but who knows if they are blowing smoke up my ass . Only way to find out is wait for tribal tomorrow . Tumblr survivor gods be with me

So Im in the chat with Rizo/Kyle/Gwen and it seems the target has shifted completely off of Tim and its just like huh this was convenient. Gwen/Rizo and I talk of how we kinda control this but that maybe a split vote is better because of the idol and it seems to be a go...then it is shot down. See, I don't see why its not as beneficial. Even if Austin got votes we have the numbers. Its kinda interesting that these guys do not want to maximize safety supposedly but I also notice they arent as like flexible as they should be

I think this went well. We finally won a challenge, which I lowkey never expected. Austin mutinied, but he did what he had to do for us to win. I think he'll be ok on Petrel, after all this time they have to have some sort of target. Steven mutinied here bc Austin put in a good word for us (as is my understanding), so operating under that assumption means voting him out is a bad idea. As everyone now knows (bc my last cf was leaked), voting out Noah is still a bad idea, so it's between Cheatham and Amy (if we lose again!) Amy knows she's on the bottom. Can't be any more explicit than having an alliance with literally everyone else in the game leaked. So if I were to be loyal to my alliance, obviously she goes next. However, Cheatham probably got an idol from the pool. And he lied about it. So maybe not the most trustworthy ally. If he didn't tell us about the idol, then what's he got planned for it? He has plans for the future, and those plans don't seem to involve me. Also he has a very acerbic attitude, and if we merge having him would make us much less appealing to work with because he makes it very obvious whether or not he wants to work with someone. So if we lose again (which i lowkey hope we do), Cheatham is hopefully being blindsided! (has to be a blindside bc he has an idol)

I know everyone is trying to act oblivious now but come on now lol Austin saying he hasnt heard a name? Boy we all heard names 24 hours ago, its just a question if those same names are still out. I just claimed I made little progress for the tribal so he tells me to inform him and Im like? Inform what? That the ground is now wet when it used to be dry? This sleep schedule sucks

(LATER)

I forgot Austin has a date with Mary Jane daily so Im gonna have to cut him some slack

(LMFAO)

So tbh Austin, Liam, and Tim have reasons to go but I also notice Kyle and Tim didnt want me and Gwen in until after we lost, and now they have us wanting Austin out. Again timing is important in this game. If we won I doubt this would happen. Right now Im not decided yet but I see the gears shifting, its just a question of where

(OMG CONFESSIONAL KING)

In my talks with Austin I kinda feign ignorance but I notice EVERYONE is doing that so I dont think that stratrgy is gonna work longterm. I know for a fact Austin has talked game to people so when he says he hasn't then oop. Id say a strength of mine is reading people at times and that is why I feel I can't do it as much unless I play dumb with these people. Too bad they seem to be doing the same!

Tim is a sneaky motherfucker and needs to be voted out like, yesterday. Getting the target off his back so fast. Ha. I’m onto you Timothy! Austin said that Tim said to watch out for me. I knew it. Thank you leaky Austin!! If I get voted out at tribal, let the record show that I did everything in my power to get Tim out. And if I go and he stays, these people are screwed. Love you all (especially my #1 Chris)!!

So I dont really think being in a group which has Tim and Kyle is gonna work. We were literally the only ones (Tim, Kyle, Rizo, Gwen) who talked of voting Austin in that chat and all of a sudden, Austin knows his name is out and Rizo/Tim/Kyle want us to not be "paranoid" and just split? Uh insert Tasha 'we got a rat' gif because WE GOT A RAT

This is so damn stressful! I really have no clue if I'm going tonight or what . I really like the tribe tho and hope I can make it past this first tribal . Find out in a few hours 😥

Oh my this is really messy LMAOO. I’m doing exactly what I wanted to do build a relationship with everyone and get included into multiple groups. Now I can pick which way I wanna go. I’m in 2 trios Chris and Gwen then Tim and Kyle. I also have Sara and Annmarie that trust me so I can do what I want. It’s crazy cuz I was the first person to suggest Tim to go and it was in fruition until Tim and Kyle came to me. I realized why vote him out when I’m getting info from him and he wants me to stay. So boom change the target to Austin because he is talking to everyone and told Kyle Tim name is brought up. So Tim got scared so then I changed my target to Austin and majority wanted him gone. But Kyle and Tim want Liam gone and I don’t mind him leaving it’s just he is a nonfactor. I lowkey want annemarie gone because she is leaking info and seems close to austin. Preferably I want austin gone but we are scared he has an idol so I want to split votes but Tim is scared. So Kyle recommend Annmarie and I’m going to make sure she goes cuz I was going to do Liam for the split. But then I worried annemarie would reveal to Tim I wanted him out and that would be bad. So I would like austin to go hopefully he misplays his idol and Annmarie goes home. And I will be in the majority. Out of the trio I’m more loyal to a Chris and Gwen but I do like Kyle a lot. Let’s see how tonight plays

The lil snakes Tim & Kyle threw my name out so one of them has to leave, it's just that simple folks. I'm confident I've got a majority behind getting Tim to leave so I'm faithful that he's gonna be gone tonight.

Something smells sorta fishy... That first hour or so after losing the comp was utter chaos. Chats were everywhere and I had no clue who I was even talking to half the time. Now lately, it's been quiet so that's nerve wrecking. Anyway...Austin. Bruh, he told me at first that Amy was in the pool and then a day later that cheatham was. This honestly a mistake or?! I know he's talking a lot to others and spreading info because Kyle told me that he told him that Liam knew he mentioned his name. Honestly, this was great because now Kyle thinks that AnnMarie leaked..which is true..she did. Lulul! So anyways, Austin mentioned making a majority alliance after this of me/Gwen/Rizo/Chris/AnnMarie...which is odd because that's already a group. Coincidence or?? Regardless, that group is way too powerful and something's gotta give at one point here!

I just made a massive move And it couldn’t have worked out any better I decided to mutiny to the other tribe. I somehow managed to convince my tribe to let me go without anyone realizing that I would be bringing the victory with me to Thrush. I talked with Austin after he came over Petrel before I left, and we made a plan for me to work with Noah and cheatham to take out Amy. Things started great with those two, and we had an alliance chat within 15 minutes. Cheatham even revealed to me that he was the one in the pool, which he hadn’t even told Noah. I also found out that Amy has the self vote, which works out perfectly. Things are looking good. I just made possibly the biggest move of the season so far, and things seem to be working out great

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(LATER)

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SO WOOOOW. I am truly shocked by what is going on. So obviously we threw the challenge, but afterwards, things went insane. I was up for at least an hour, talking to everyone in the tribe. We threw to get Tim out. He is definitely someone I don't want to keep, he could really mess up my game. Kyle and Steven were way out of the loop, and honestly, it was sorta obvious that Kyle and Tim were working together. Both Tim and Kyle threw out the name liam due to their inactivity, which sucks, I hate when that is the reason for someone getting voted out. Surprisingly, Tim doesn't know his name is out there, or at least I don't think so. He is suspicious that he's missing something, but I won't be the one to tell him. I am working with austin. He's lovely and we click well. That is all I can think to say.

I wish there was a swap. If I'm gone I'm gone, i guess 4 people are voting me so my best hope is if gwen rizo kyle chris dont vote me ;(

i just have been listening to noah tbh

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5 votes Tim, 4 votes AnnMarie.

#announcement

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