#air quotes dad mug is funny TO ME. i like to think that cas never stopped doing air quotes bc it made dean laugh

[chocolatecakecas]

Expect the Unexpected: dadstiel father's day ficlet

based off this anon's genius ask

They were late. Not that they actually had a strict schedule to stick to, but when it came to hunts, Claire didn't like to mess around. She did take this very seriously after all.

But the drive took longer than expected and they didn't get to the motel until around three am, and it took them longer to get out of bed this morning, which was admittedly Claire's fault. And they forgot to steam out their suits with the bathroom shower, so now they're late, in slightly wrinkled suits, speed walking through the parking lot at almost ten thirty am. And yeah maybe Claire's freaking out a bit, but what if the messy suits give them away, or what if another hunter got here already? Maybe they should run? The parking lot is empty so it's not lik-

"Hey, slow down, I don't think they bodies are going anywhere" Kaia laughed, gently grabbing Claire's hand to pull her back.

"I know, but we said we'd get there by nine thirty an-"

"Claire. The case isn't gonna disappear if we're forty five minutes later than we wanted to be. Okay?" Kaia assured, as she forced Claire to stop walking for a moment.

God why did she always have to be right?

"I know I know it's jus-okay fine" Claire sighed in defeat, but Kaia rewarded her with a quick peck on the lips, and pulled her inside.

They both flashed their badges with practiced confidence, and were easily lead to the correct room. The secretary didn't even bat an eye at their slightly wrinkled suits.

Yeah so maybe Claire was freaking out for noth-

"Agent Joel, and this is my partner Agent Cyrus"

Fuck. There's no way

(read rest under the cut)

"Clai-"

"Agents. I didn't know you were also assigned this case"

Because standing over the dead body on the examining table, was Castiel and Jack, in that ratty trench coat and a too big suit respectively.

Well, apparently another hunter did beat them to the case.

"Uh could you give us a moment to confer?" Cas asked attempting to hide his surprise, and the coroner nodded and left without a word.

"Claire! Kaia! I didn't know you guys were working the case too!" Jack started surprised, running over to give each of them a quick hug. They had met a ton of times over the past year, sometimes he even came and hung out at Jody's. And after the initial shock of Cas having a three year old who looked like he was twenty, Claire honestly liked the kid.

"Hey Jack, Cas. We didn't know you guys would be here either? I guess wires got crossed or something?" Kaia shrugged as she gave a little wave to Cas. But before Claire could say anything, Jack was tugging Kaia off to the side, talking a mile a minute about god knows what. And Cas was making his way, over to Claire.

"Hello Claire. I'm sorry I had no idea you two would be working this case. Jacks just been begging to go on another hunt, and this was the closest one to the Bunker. But we can try to find a diff-"

"Nono it's not a big deal. We can just find a different case. It wouldn't be fair, since the kid seems pretty excited about it" Claire said trying to shrug it off.

It's not like she was emotionally attached to this particular case, but it's been a while since her and Kaia had been on a hunt alone. So yeah maybe she was looking forward to it, bu-

"Well, maybe we could all work the case together? That is, if you'd want to?" Cas offered with a slightly nervous smile.

Okay so, it's not that Claire doesn't like Cas, she's seen him a lot over the years, they text and talk all the time, and he's been there for her a lot lately. Claire actually really likes the guy, but it's not like she's gonna tell him that, but it's just-Cas always treats her like she's the same naive teenager she was when they met again six years ago. And she's grown and learned a lot, she's a professional hunter now. At least Dean, and hell even Jody, gets that, they see the changes, but Cas.....

Claire glances over his shoulder to see Jack and Kaia laughing as to themselves, and she feels something pull in her chest as she quickly looks back to Cas.

Damnit.

"Uh sure, could be fun I guess? Besides we haven't seen you or the kid in the a while, but you have to explain why there's four FBI agents working this single murder case" Claire asserts, but Cas smiles brightly anyway.

"Deal" Cas agrees with a little tip of his head. God what a fucking dork, Claire thinks with a fond eyeroll.

“Also, Joel and Cyrus, really?” Claire teased as she walked over to join Kaia and Jack.

“I let Jack pick them out, and he insisted on picking our favorite singers” Cas sighed fondly, causing Claire to tip her head back in laughter.

And just like that the Coroner came back in, and they each took turns asking the routine questions, Jack with maybe too bright of a smile on his face. The guy was twenty-five, and his friends dared him to spend a night alone in this local old house that was apparently, haunted for real. And when his friends went to pick him up in the morning, they found him bleeding out in the foyer, with giant gashes all over.

So they decided to check out the house first, where Kaia and Jack both got tossed across the room by some creepy looking guy with a giant meat cleaver. Which basically confirmed Claire's theory of it being vengeful spirit, and they went back to Cas and Jack's room to research who the guy might be. So simple salt and burn.

And overall, things were actually going really great, Claire got to spend time with Kaia, plus she got to see Jack and Cas and share some laughs doing what she loves. She also got to help Cas show Jack some of the ropes, give him some hunting tips, which was awesome, since she's never gotten to be the teacher in this situation.

"Alright so tonight, why don't Kaia and I check out the house to make sure it's really gone, while Jack and Cas go find the guys grave?" Claire suggested as she stole a french fry off of Kaia's plate, who hummed in agreement

"Oh we get to burn the bones? I've only gotten to do that once before!" Jack began loudly, but quickly changed to a whisper after a warning look from Cas, they were in a crowded diner after all.

But the only one who hadn't spoken was Cas, who's face was scrunched up in thought.

"Claire I'm not sure splitting up is the best idea" Cas supplied carefully, which made Claire roll her eyes in annoyance.

God there he goes again, acting like Claire's some dumb kid. As if she hasn't handled herself just fine for years.

"C'mon Cas, me and Kaia hunt alone all the time, hell I've even done a ton of solo hunts. It'll be more effective this way, you burn the bones, and if it doesn't work we'll know immediately and figure out another way to waste the guy" Claire continued and watched as Cas looked from Jack to Kaia and back to Claire, sighing in defeat.

"Okay, but we'll all stay on the phone in case burning the bones doesn't work" Cas bargained, which Claire assumed was fair, and they all went back to eating happily.

So they split up, Claire and Kaia set up a salt line in the foyer, rock salt guns loaded and ready to go, with Cas and Jack on speaker at the cemetery. But of course, torching the bones didn't work. So now they had a pissed off, homicidal spirit chasing them with a giant meat cleaver, as Claire and Kaia raced around the house looking for the object it might be attached too while Jack and Cas yelled through the phone.

So yeah things were going pretty great actually.

Until they weren't.

"Cas I had it handled, I didn't need-"

"Claire I know, but it already sliced your arm and it was lunging right at yo-"

"But I was fine. I can take care of mys-"

"Claire, I know that-and please stop throwing your arm around you're going to reopen the wound-Claire, I was only trying to pro-"

"Well I didn't ask you to, I didn't ask you for any of this. I'm not some dumb little kid. I've been doing this for years, and I'm good at what I do, I can handle some stupid spirit. And I certainly don't need you to protect me from anything, since you did a pretty shit job of that already" Claire shouted, turning to look at him.

And when she caught sight of his wide, ashamed eyes, she felt something drop deep in her stomach, all of the fight draining out of her.

"Cas no I didn-I just-" Claire groaned running her hands through her hair, daring a glance over at Jack and Kaia who were frozen on the bed, looking at her with a hint of sympathy in their eyes. Her eyes darted back to Cas who's looked the same, except they were mostly filled with guilt.

Great. Just fucking great.

"Ya know what, I'm gonna run to the drug store-get some more bandaids. I'll be back" Claire huffed slamming the door behind her, and trudging across the motel parking lot to her car.

As she walked into the drug store, her mind was racing, rage still burning away in her stomach, and she mindlessly examined each box of bandaids.

This was stupid. The hunt was over, the guy was dead, turns out his murder weapon was the obejct they had to destroy. So it doesn't even matter anymore, but Claire's just so-

She tossed a box of bandaids back on the shelf. Maybe she should have just let Cas heal-no. Just another thing Claire thinks he needs to do for her.

And where does Cas get off trying to assume what's best for her? She can handle herself just fine, she's almost twenty four for gods sake. She's been hunting on her own for years now, and she's damn good at it, even Jody says so. She's grown and learned a lot so why can't Cas fucking just back off? And who the hell does Cas think he is, anyway? She doesn't need him to protect her, she doesn't need someone to save her, definitely not Cas of all peop-

With a huff Claire shoves another box back on the shelf, maybe a bit too aggressive and digs her palms into her eyes to ground herself.

What is she doing?

She forgave- or as close to forgiveness as you can get with this kinda thing- Cas a long time ago. She didn't wanna live with that rage and pain anymore, it was weighing her down and it fucking sucked. So she's made "peace" with it. And if she's really being honest, she really does like Cas a lot, he's like some doofy, powerful guy, who says some of the weirdest and funniest things she's ever heard. Plus, he sure as hell cares a lot, and he's tried to make it as "right", as possible and respected what Claire wanted. 

But just because Claire's made peace with it and thinks he's a good guy, doesn't mean she's not allowed to be pissed.

Claire quickly swipes a brand of bandaids and gauzes she's used before, and weaves her way through the aisles. But she catches something out of the corner of her eye that has her stopping in her tracks.

A Father's Day display.

Something drops deep in the pit of her stomach, as her heart leaps into her throat.

And she's instantly transported back to age five, with memories of homemade cards, barbeques in the backyard, and her dad with a bright smile as he carefully opened her gift. A new tie.

She feels her phone buzz in her pocket, effectively breaking her out of the trance. She quickly swipes at her eyes before reading it. 

It’s an apology from Cas.

Claire feels herself rubbing at her eyes again, the grief and pain of loss mixing with guilt and affection and confusion and anger all at once, struggling to gain dominance.

But before she can even process it all, another text come through, asking if she can grab some of Jack's favorite snacks, with way too many emojis.

And before she realizes it, a wet laugh escapes, as she squeezes the phone in her hand. She quickly glances back up at the display, a small, somber smile pulling at her lips.

And she makes a choice.

The next morning they’re all lingering in the parking lot before saying their goodbyes. Claire offered to check them all out, dragging Jack along before leaving Kaia and Cas alone.

"Here, you should be the one to give it to him" Claire says quickly stuffing a bag in Jack's hands.

"But it's from all of us?" Jack questioned, familiarly tilting his head, and Claire couldn't help but smile.

Last night Claire went back to the drugstore, now with Kaia and Jack in tow under the guise of picking up dinner. They each signed the card, even convincing Kaia to write something too. Jack even insisted on getting him one of those cheesy #1 Dad mugs, because apparently even though Cas didn't need it, he liked to drink coffee.

"Yeah I know, but you picked out the mug. So you can give it to him later" Claire assured, and quickly stalked across the parking lot with Jack in tow.

Jack can just hide it in his backpack and give it to Cas when they get home, so he can read their messages in a place where Claire is preferably, not present.

But to Claire's horror, annoyance at her own self because she should have seen this coming, Jack immediately handed Cas the gift.

"Happy Father's Day! It's from all of us, I know it's early but I thought you should open it while we're all together!" Jack declared with a bright smile, while Kaia gently found and squeezed Claire's hand. Cas just looked over at Claire and Kaia, confusion swimming in his eyes

"We all picked it up from the drugstore when we went to grab dinner last night. Thought it might be nice" Kaia answered evenly, but Claire could tell she was nervous. She knew she was worried about how Kaia fit into this fam...well whatever it was.

Cas simply nodded as he worked to recover from his initial shock, he slowly pulled out the mug first, smiling as he read it.

"I picked out the mug! But Claire put the quotes around the Dad, she said you'd think it was funny" Jack informed him, which only caused Cas to chuckle warmly as he pulled out the card.

Claire thought her heart might hammer out of her chest as she leaned into Kaia's touch. Damnit, why couldn't the kid have just waited until he was home.

"Thank you. All of you, thi-this means so much" Cas choked out, voice thick as he finished reading with a disbelieving smile. He hugged Jack first, pressing a kiss to his head.

"See, he loved it? You should talk to him" Kaia suggested in a no nonsense tone, pressing a kiss to Claire's lips before walking towards their car. Cas stopped her of course, wrapping her in a tight hug, and Kaia whispered something Claire couldn't make out, before she pulled Jack over to the other side of the lot. Claire looked at Cas, noticing his eyes were shining, and quickly looked at a rock on the ground as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"That was very kind of you. You didn't have to do all that for me" Cas said softly as he cautiously approached Claire, leaving some space between them.

"Yeah well, I don't know. I saw the cards at the store and I thought it might be nice..." Claire trailed off, braving another glance at Cas who's eyes were a little misty. Her eyes flitted to the side to see Kaia giving her an encouraging and a nod towards Cas, before turning back to Jack.

Well, it's now or never.

"Look Cas. I'm sorry I blew up yesterday, and I appreciate your-your apology. But I don't need you to protect me, you gotta know I'm not some dumb-"

"Claire, I know. You've become an incredible hunter, I'm not worried about your hunting skills or think that you need protecting. I just worry and want to protect you because I care about you" Cas stated sincerely.

Oh.

And yeah she knows Cas cared and she knows he was only trying to help, and maybe logically she knows that Cas was't acting like that because he thought she was a some inexperienced crap hunter. But hearing it is just-

Something warm swims in her stomach, as her heart thumps against her chest, as she swallows thickly.

"Listen, about the card, I- I know you aren't him, and you'll never be him okay? So you aren't my dad and I’m not looking to replace but-but you're kinda-you've kinda been like a Da-a figure lately and I know you said you care and I appreciate-and I car-I feel lik-"Claire attempted to choke out, but the next thing she knew, she's stopping and flinging her arms around his neck, hoping it'll convey everything she wants to say.

And it must, because Cas' arms wrap tightly around her, and she finds herself grabbing the back of that ratty trench coat, smiling to herself for a moment.

When they pulled away Cas gives her a soft smile, as she quickly wipes at her eyes.

"You and Kaia should come for dinner next Friday at the bunker. Deans texted me about it six times, and I'm sure Jack would love to show you his room....if you wanted that is-of course you don't hav-"

"Yeah Cas, that actually sounds kinda nice. Haven't had a chance to bother Dean in a while, anyway" Claire shrugged with a smile, which he easily returned.

And later as Claire drove back to Jody's, one hand on the wheel, the other loosely grasping Kaia's, she found herself really looking forward to next Friday.

Tag list:

Please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed💛

@wormstacheangel @smiledean @shelikestv @bichaoticdean @midnightwings-deancas @jellydeans @sunshine-jack @archervale @wikiangela @subbydean @organicpurplepants @you-cant-spell-subtext-without @writtendevastation

@tkdwolf2012 @doemons-blog @sinnabonka @rolling-stoned-girl @skylerkernaghan @icefire149 @dakiaty @seffersonjtarship @feraldean @teamfreebees @keshetcas @jewishdeanwinchester @martymar1963 @midnight-sparks-studio @aestheticflyer26

@slipper007 @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @winchester-novak @lyonessrampant @angelic-bee-enthusiast @nguyenxtrang @idiot-on-the-hill @fandoms-and-things @doreschary @confix @itsanending @thiscowboyisbisexual @milfcodeddean @blue-eyed-cutiepatootie @smokerdean

#yes billy joel and miley cyrus what of it. #so i actually forgot i wrote most of this and then i spent a really long time debating whether or not to post it #also this is so long for like no reason so im sorry asfhakfhabd but yay claire!!!!!!!!!!! #air quotes dad mug is funny TO ME. i like to think that cas never stopped doing air quotes bc it made dean laugh #i actually had a fluffier fathers day fic but here have some angst #(​i am very dean coded so im sorry if claire is TOO much dean asdhfskfjhs) #happy fathers day to CAS<333333 #bec writes #claire novak #castiel #kaia nieves #jack kline #dadstiel #dadstiel fic #ficlet #idk how to tag this? #userzaddy #qaslight

[ain-t-bovvered]

Much ado about Destiel

A/N :  Nat’s @purpleskiesandcherrypies challenge got me to write Destiel again, it’s been so long since I did that so....heck yeah. 

And yes I’m a day late....I KNOW.

thank you to @waywardbaby again because she is the one that gets all my messy thoughts. 

my prompt was :  “You two are lucky you have your looks.”

Summary : My modern take on my favourite Shakespeare’s comedy, much ado about nothing. 

Pairing and characters: Dean x newly Human!Castiel , Reader and Sam

Warnings : not really...but it’s funny ( i hope) and mostly Sam and reader being meddling little shits.

a/n 2 : this is unbetaed so yeah....it could be a hot mess or not idk I’m pretty tired it’s 2 am.

The air is full of tension.

My eyes search Sam’s from the other side of the table.

The little shit he’s covering behind one of his dusty old books, I kick him under the table and he jumps a little.

‘WHAT?’ he hisses at me under his breath. My eyes roll as I quickly and discreetly gesture at the problem.

Two of them .

One called Dean Winchester sitting on the far side of the table , currently NOT researching on his laptop, and the other one called Castiel not-so-much-angel-of-the-Lord anymore, slumped on the chair on the opposite side of the room, staring into his cup of coffee like it holds the answer to the meaning of life.

“It’s not 42, if that’s what you are searching for” I say trying to break the tension.

The grumpy newly human raises his eyes at me, confused and void of patience, “what?”

“42..? the answer to- Never mind, keep drinking your coffee Cas”

A snort coming from the end of the table makes me regret having opened my mouth, and Sam too throws me a glare  .

“You have something you wanna share, Dean?” the annoyance in Castiel’s voice makes us both wince .

“Nope.” Comes the sarcastic answer.

“Then shut up”

“I ain’t said nothing”

I mentally groan , I can easily taste the next words.

“That’s a double negative”

“Yeah so?”

“So you are full of s-”

“Ok that’s enough you two, get out of here if you won’t contribute to the research”

“I’m helping Sam!”

“Dude, you think I didn’t notice you’ve been stuck on that solitaire game for an hour now”

“...and you Cas, look like you are trying to count the molecules in that mug. That coffee must be colder than my feet on a winter’s day.” I add closing the book with a loud thud.

“You two are distracting, get out and- ”

“ -and go be moody somewhere else. People here- “ I say gesturing between me and Sam , “-are trying to be socially productive ”

They look at each other, make a face, get up and walk out in different directions. The room feels suddenly bigger, the air cleaner, Sam sigh deeply and I stretch on my seat, groaning loudly.

“I can’t do it anymore Sam, I can’t take it”

“Yeah well, I had to bear all of that for years. Welcome to the club”

“This is not a club, it’s a fucking prison and I want out”

Hearing my ‘forming a plan tone’, Sam closes his own book, “what are you thinking?” he asks suddenly curious.

I stay silent for a moment , eyeing where they had disappeared and then slowly “They need to bone”

Sam snorts.

“...hard”

“Yeah good luck with that”

“Angry bone”

“Sure”

“...like … not being able to walk the next day angry bone”

Sam erupt in a low chuckle that quiet down soon as he realizes I’m actually thinking about that, “wait...what are you thinking?”

“Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps”  I quote.

Sam’s eyes widen , “are you-”

“Those two are too ‘wise’ to woo peaceably.” I wiggle my eyebrows.

“Not sure that would work …”

“But think about it “ I say suddenly standing up, the chair scraping the floor, “ if it doesn’t, we’ll have a laugh anyway, but if it works…” I stop letting the idea floats around.

Sam stands up too, a slow wicked smile lighting up his tired eyes, “ if it works…”. We look at nothing in the distance , tasting the peace and quiet, no more awkward eye fucking, no more pent up sexual tension so thick we can almost touch it.

“I’ll get Cas” I say already moving to where he had disappeared, only for Sam to stops me.

“no no, my brother could smell the bullshit out of me from miles away. You get Dean, I’ll get Cas”

“Right, you’ve got all that...let’s talk about our feelings and I’ll let you braid my hair vibe, that’ll works with Mr.Grumpy”

“Very funny Bean”

“Samsquatch”

The plan was supposed to be simple but talking to them so directly about the other, proved to be impossible and awkward. The amount of eye rolling and ‘it ain’t your business’ we had to endure for the rest of the week almost made us gave up.

“Maybe we are doing this wrong”

“Um…” I say propping my feet on the car window sill, “ are we being too direct?”

Sam throws me a glance “hey this is not the Impala..” he says, slapping his hand on my knees, “ sit right and seat belt on!” I scowl at him but eventually yield,“and yes, I think we need to be more subtle about it, you now...like in the play.”

“Oh...so we catch each of them alone and make sure they think we don’t see them and just what…?” Sam straightened and clear his throat, “Hey Sam did you see all the cassette tapes Dean made for Cas? the ones he had hidden in his room because he’s too shy to give them to him? what a lovesick teenager too high on hormones” he say in a high pitched voice. The car swerves a little as I pinch his side offended by his bad impression of me.

Repeatedly swinging my hair and combing my fingers through them I lower my voice,  “Hey Y/N,so get this, you heard Cas moaning my brother’s name when he thinks we are asleep?”

A noise of disgust leave his throat, “that’s the grossest thing you could’ve come up with, I hate you. I didn’t need that, thank you”

“Hey I need them to hit it low and dirty, not write each other poems”

“CAAAAS?”

Dean’s voice jumps along the tiled walls of the bunker , his heavy steps echoing in the silent corridors. The muffled sound of something being broken halts Dean’s quick pace. His perfect hunter’s hearing locating the source of the noise,his room.

“DAMN IT CAS!”

What had started as a quick walk, now turned into a little run. The sound of fists pounding on the door reached the war room where me and Sam where trying to finish the damn research. 

“ *cough* Y/N what the hell?”  Sam chokes on his beer when I slap his arm,

“Shhh” I hiss, looking toward the sleeping quarters, “listen…”.

“Cas open this fucking door right now or so help me your dad I’m gonna axe it down”

A slow pleased smile tugs at my lips and I squeeze Sam’s arm, “yes!” I breathe out as a chuckle escapes Sam’s lips.

“Wait Y/N,it doesn’t mean, wait...”

I jump on my feet and starts walking slowly toward the corridor, following the noises, dragging Sam by his arm.

“What are you doing?” he hisses under his breath as we took cover behind the corner that face directly where Dean’s room is.

“ I wanna know what’ll happen.Also, I want them to get it out of their systems, not kill each other.”

Sam’s hand pushes me back as Dean’s head snaps in our direction, both of us holding our breath, his finger pushing against his lips, I nod.

A couple of vigorous knocks shook the old wood.

“CAS DON’T MAKE ME BREAK DOWN MY DOOR”

From behind the door a series of muffled words barely reach Dean’s ears, buzzing and throbbing with the sound of his own heartbeat.

“Son of a bitch” he tries the knob one more time before punching the door again. Feeling suddenly very tired, he rests his forehead against the number 11, his fist relaxing in an open palm, gently pressed on the wood beside his face.

“Cas… please open the door” At the sound of Dean’s soft tone, the noises inside stops and Dean’s head perk up, pressing his ear against the surface.

“Cas?....can you- can you hear me?”

No audible answer .

Dean sighs and turns around, leaning against the door with his back, a hand combing his hair, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth.

“I - I don’t know what happened man, but...you, you know you can talk to me. I know these last few weeks haven’t been exactly peaches and sunshine, a-and I- I’m sorry buddy….I really am. I don’t pretend to know how you are feeling right now, but I’m here for you, you know that right?” a pause, a sigh, “ I - I mean...Sammy and Y/N too , but...you know…” Dean licks his lips, his fist shaking a bit, “ I- Jesus Cas! you know...you must know by now, damn it!”

Silence.

“You are really gonna make me say it ?....” Dean turns around, both palms pressing on the door, almost like they are keeping him grounded.

“ I love you, you stubborn son of a bitch”

The whole bunker stops breathing.

In the loud silence that follows , the click of the door lock being opened sounds like the sound of something metallic falling in the middle of an empty old church.

“Y/N, you are hurting me, stop it!” Sam hisses chuckling, trying to pry open my fingers from his arm. The other hand trying to keep my screams from giving our position.

I stretch my neck further out to see better, just in time to see a trembling arm reaching out, a hand cradling Dean’s cheek. Dean’s head leaning into the touch. Sam’s breath tickling the top of my head , makes me know that he too was seeing that, I was not dreaming.

Dean murmur something, I couldn’t hear well , but it sounded something like, “you counting my freckles or somethin’ ?” 

Definitely couldn’t hear the answer, but Dean’s furious blush is worth thousands of words. Suddenly Castiel’s hand grips the front Dean’s shirt and drags him inside, the door slams close behind them.

I jump out my hiding spot and carefully tip toe toward the door, both of us leaning our ears against it.

“Ah...Jesus Cas”

A growl followed by the sound of a buckle being hastily opened is all I get before Sam drags me away.

“How’d you think that went?” I ask while yawning , as Sam pours me some coffee.

“There are things I really don’t wanna know about my brother and my best friend together okay?”

“Oh come on , you are no fun!”

“Neither was what I had to hear last night”  Sam grimace before taking a careful sip from his coffee.

“Well at least someone definitely got some action”

I hide my grin behind my mug while Sam’s splutters his coffee all over the table. No time to unpack that as both Dean and Cas make their appearance.

I raise an eyebrow.

Well, if that’s how that went, I definitely want to order what they had because damn they look positively glowing and thoroughly fucked.

“Good morning you two. Slept well?” Sam say, the grin he was sporting almost splitting his face in half.

Dean blushes while mumbling nonsense, while Cas just go straight for the coffee, his usual morning bad mood apparently is still there, some things never change I guess.

While eating I peek at those two disasters, now Dean really look like a love struck sick teenager , shamelessly ogling Cas with that adoring soft look.

‘Disgusting’ I mouth at Sam who presses his foot over mine under the table, biting the inside of his cheek, trying not to laugh.

“I have a question” Cas suddenly say.

I hum taking my time to sip some more of my now cold coffee.

“No matter how hard I looked , I couldn’t find those tapes you said Dean made , do you know where they are?” Sam snorts and I eye Dean’s confused face with a smirk.

“What tapes?” he asks.

Cas looks at him like he’s crazy, “the ones where you declare your love to me. I really want to listen to them”

Dean’s face morphs from confused to annoyed as his eyes settles on me and Sam, “ guys..?”

“I don’t know what are you talking about”

“...But I heard you talking about those yesterday…?”

“And I ...heard you two talking about how this guy here was on the verge of a mental breakdown for being madly in love with me.”

Now it was Castiel’s turn to look confused, “they said you were the one sickly in love with me”

I can barely keep the coffee from coming out my nose as Sam cover his eyes, his shoulder shaking, “you two are lucky you have your looks.”

“Motherf- you two sons of bitches” Dean barks.

“..So...you don’t love me?”

“What?....” Dean’s panic seeps from all of him, “...nooooo…” his voice high pitched, “I thought YOU loved me”

“Me?, noooo.” Cas plays with the scrambled eggs in his plate.

“They had sworn you were gonna pack your shit and move out because you couldn’t deal with me not loving you”

“They said you looked like a lovesick teenager high on hormones”

“Oh shut up Cas you love him” I blurt out.

“And Dean...  dude, did you look at yourself in the mirror?” Sam says, pointing at a very red, angry, hickey on the back of Dean’s neck , he tries to cover it embarrassed.

“..aaaand Cas has another one right there” I point at his collarbone, peeking out the too large gray rock band t-shirt.

Dean and Cas look at each other and at their marks, both blushing.

“Well…” Dean starts, “ I guess….I’ll ….have you….?”

“ …and I guess I’ll accept. But only because of your excellent burgers and partly to save your life, since I was told that the only thought of me was making you sick” “Oh..ok Cas”  Dean’s chuckles, his hand wrapping around Castiel’s neck, “ time to shut up now.”

“ooook time for Sam to get out of here, Y/N you coming?”

I continue to sip my cold coffee as I watch two of my best friend making out , 

“um? what?”

Sam is standing at the door gesturing me to leave them be, I roll my eyes and throwing one last look behind me I smile softly before joining Sam on his morning run, he promised fried chicken tonight and I’m not one to back down from a challenge. EVER.

Don’t really know who to tag in this one so Imma just...tag at random who I think could enjoy this *shrugs*

@purpleskiesandcherrypies @waywardbaby @destiel-honeypie @telefuckies @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @winchester-reload @researchandbones @dean-winchesters-bacon @gripmetight-raisemefromperdition @supernatural-teamfreewillpage-d @adventurous-blob @kinvgslayer @elaspn @c-kaeru @wingedcatninja @cloverhighfive @dammitsammy @holy-fucking-damn-shit @wayward-winchester67 @southbreak  @trenchcoatsandfreckles 

#purplesspnqc #destiel #dean x castiel #dean and cas #dean winchester #castiel #human castiel #destiel one shot

[hamburgergod]

an exciting installment of orange and grapefruit verse, about Dean and Cas’s every day lives as normal college roommates, except Cas is a hybrid between a human and a phoenix harpy. ~2k 

Dean comes back from his last class for the day, and pauses at the foyer when he smells the unmistakably fruity sweet smell that fills the entire house. Also mixed in the air is the tangy scent of alcohol.

“Cas?” Dean calls carefully, because he knows by now to assume it always involves Cas whenever unexpected shit happens around here. He hopes Cas is actually around, and this isn’t another one of his relatives. Anna he can stand, everyone else related to Cas, he’d rather not.

Thankfully, Cas’s voice calls back from the kitchen. Not very thankfully, Dean hears another voice murmuring alongside Cas’s.

“What’s that smell?” Dean asks, and walks into—

—Cas arguing with a short, blonde guy. “—don’t need all this,” Cas continues, gesturing at the bottles and bottles of deep red liquid that now fills up the entire kitchen counter space. Cas glances at Dean, and sets his eyes firmly back on the man standing in front of him.

The man—the harpy, probably—sighs with a shrug. “Can’t believe I’m being treated like this,” he says woefully. “I traveled thousands of miles lugging these heavy things to share some of my best brew with you, and yet—”

“Balthazar, please,” Cas replies sharply, and Dean raises an eyebrow at the name. Definitely another relative, then. “I appreciate your thought, but I don’t—”

“Drink harpy stuff? Oh, come off of it, Cassie. You drank this stuff before,” Balthazar says flippantly, and the way Cas squares his shoulders at the comment immediately has Dean disliking Balthazar. 

“Not anymore,” Cas replies dryly. 

There’s an uncomfortable tension in the air now, and one that Dean’s obviously not attuned to since he has no idea what the fuck they’re actually talking about.

“Hi, I’m Dean,” Dean says with a tight smile, and both Cas and Balthazar turn to him with a blink, like they hadn’t expected the human to butt in. Being a distraction aside, Dean half-expected it from this dick, but he didn’t think Cas would be so riled up enough to forget about him completely.

Balthazar narrows his eyes in distaste. Oh good, he’s one of those cousins. “I know who you are,” he says. It’s amazing how he can say this and have it sound like how dare you interrupt us you filthy bug instead. 

“Balthazar,” Cas hisses, but Balthazar doesn’t bat an eye.

“Anyway, I just need you to taste it,” Balthazar says with an easy shrug. “Let me know how it is.”

Cas’s jaw clenches like he wants to say something, but his shoulders slump in defeat. “Have a safe flight back.”

True to his words, Cas doesn’t drink any of the stuff. He tells Dean to “go ahead” whenever he wants, as long as Dean criticizes it like Balthazar had wanted. He gives a fair warning to water it down beforehand, since it’ll be too strong for a human. 

He’s not sure what to take from that, gauging from his conversation with Balthazar, and besides, with how dad used to be, Dean’s always been... reluctant to take up drinking as a regular hobby himself. 

So he just... doesn’t open any of them. He’s not sure he trusts Balthazar enough to drink anything he’s made, anyway. When Dean tells Cas this, he laughs and says that if he had to pick one thing to trust Balthazar for, it would be his brewing skills.

Cas still doesn’t drink any of the stuff, though. And it continues to be that way, until it isn’t anymore, on one Saturday evening.

Dean comes home, high in spirit after a LARPing session gone excellent to his favour. He’s pretty sure he and Charlie can take on Jo the next time they meet, once and for all. Which is seriously awesome, because this campaign’s lasted far longer than any of them had expected, and it’s about time they put an end to this long battle.

“’S’up, man,” Dean says to Cas, who’s facing the TV as he surfs the channel.

Cas gives a noncommittal grunt, and sips something out of a mug. Dean wrinkles his nose as he gets a waft of the smell, strong enough to float all the way back to where Dean’s standing. He peeks over, and yep, it’s the same red stuff that’s been on their kitchen counter for weeks. 

“You okay?” Dean asks, sliding his backpack off of his back and settling on the couch across from Cas.

Cas blinks back from the TV, his eyes eerily unfocused even as he stares in Dean’s general direction. He shrugs, and takes another sip.

It’s not really a look Dean likes on him, to be honest.

“Hey now,” Dean gestures at the mug, and Cas glances down.

“You need to water it down more if you want to try it,” Cas replies. “It’s too strong for you.”

“You’re drinking it, though.”

Cas wrinkles his nose. “I’m not human, Dean. Not completely.”

Duh. Dean knows that. He’s just not sure why Cas sounds all barb-wired about it. Sure it’s not headline news that Cas gets offended at unexpected things, but not like... this.

Cas must’ve gone out to buy the half-full can of tonic water in the fridge, because Dean definitely didn’t. He pours a little more into the mug Cas hands over to him, and tries sipping at the drink, grimacing at how strong it still is. He pours the rest of it in there, and tries again. It’s not that bad now; just as sweet as it smells. Strong, too, even with the whole can of tonic water in there. 

They watch TV together for a while; it’s Dr. Phil, something about illegitimate children and family drama crap. Dean doesn’t give the mug back.

Cas bristles in his seat, and Dean thinks he’s about to go get another mug full of the stuff, but he just heads to the washroom. Which is good, since Dean hasn’t thought that far ahead about how else he’s going to keep this stuff away from Cas, if possible.

By the time Dean’s contemplating on whether dumping all those bottles in the kitchen down the drain is crossing a line or not, Cas slumps back into the couch. He doesn’t ask for the mug back, so Dean just takes a helpless sip out of it to have something to do. Dr. Phil’s voice and dramatic music fills the room.

“Can I tell you something?”

Cas has really bright blue eyes. Dean never thought of himself as having a type before, but lately, he’s been developing a slight bias. “Sure.”

“I hate being a Half,” Cas says, his eyes wide.

Dean blinks.

“No, that’s not it,” he continues, fixing his eyes to the wall in front of him. “I don’t care that I’m a Half. At least.. I don’t think I do.”

“Um, okay.”

“But I hate being called a Half. Harpies always refer to themselves as ‘harpies’, you know.” That seems reasonable enough. “Except when they’re talking about...” 

He makes a vague gesture towards himself. Oh. 

“I never get referred to as a harpy. Only a Half. The only exceptions are my closest kin, who don’t think of me as human at all.”

Dean’s not sure what to say to that, probably because he’s only ever been raised as a human. He fumbles around with how to properly respond, but Cas is thankfully not done talking.

“I suppose it’s good that we have the distinction, in a way. I’m not a full harpy. It’s... not who I am, Dean. But I’m not a full human, and that’s not who I am, either.” Cas sinks a little more into the couch. “But they always make Half sound so...”

“Wrong?” Dean offers.

“Yes,” Cas replies quietly. “Like it’s dirty. Like my entire existence is a bane to theirs, as if I chose to exist this way.”

Dean clutches the mug in his hand. He almost wishes these harpies were here with them, if only to give them a piece of his mind.

“It’s almost funny,” Cas says, sounding like the opposite of amused. “They hate me for being part human, but they demand that I keep my being a harpy to myself. Associating myself with the same thing that they are... personally offends them.”

Dean wants to reach over, and just—do something. Anything to will that dejected look away from Cas’s face. He remembers a lecture he had the other day.

“Grapefruits,” Dean blurts.

Cas stops looking miserable for a split second, at least. He stares at Dean with wide eyes, then blinks as he tries to process what was just said, which settles into a confused frown. “What?”

Dean sets the mug down, his face as red as the alcohol. “I learned in genetics the other day, that, um, you know, grapefruits are a cross between oranges and pomelos. So I came home and looked this stuff up, ‘cause I thought, that’s pretty cool. I didn’t know that, y’know?” he shrugs. “And apparently, back when they first found grapefruits, people couldn’t decide on whether it was more of an orange or a pomelo. They argued all the time about which one grapefruit should be called as, right, and they actually decided that it’s a pomelo, and yeah, it tastes and looks more like a pomelo than an orange, but a grapefruit is not a pomelo. It’s a, it’s a fucking grapefruit.”

Cas squints at him. “So... I’m the grapefruit.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean conitnues. “And funny thing is, until they decided to call it pomelo, they mostly referred to grapefruits as the forbidden fruit or some shit. They couldn’t wrap their little heads around the fact that just because grapefruits have qualities from both oranges and pomelos, it couldn’t be anything other than an orange or a pomelo, depending on who you asked at the time. It was only years after being called a pomelo that grapefruit got sorted as its own thing—as a grapefruit. See where I’m coming from? Yeah?” He makes a juggling gesture, and Cas’s frown deepens.

“I sense that you’re trying to make me feel better,” he says, “but I’m not sure how this is supposed to make me feel better.”

Dean bites his lips, and tries again. “Okay, look, what I’m saying is. You’re not an orange or a pomelo. You’re not—a ‘forbidden fruit’ either,” he air-quotes. “You’re a grapefruit. You’re, you know, Castiel. Cas.” Dean bumps Cas’s knees with his own. 

Castiel frowns down at his hands, but looks less confused than before. Good, okay, progress. 

“Okay, uh, oh!” he snaps his fingers. “Easier example. Everyone knows you can make orange by mixing red and yellow together, right? But nobody calls orange a red-wannabe, or a yellow-wannabe. Nobody points at an orange, I don’t know, shirt, and say ‘hey, look at that half-red half-yellow shirt’. It’s just a fucking orange shirt. 

“And yeah, some people might argue that the shirt is more red or more yellow or whatever, and that’s their own damn opinion, fine, but that doesn’t make reddish orange or yellowish orange more orange than the other. And just because some, uh, primary... colour purists say you can’t call orange for what it is, doesn’t mean orange is going to stop being orange. You can still be just... orange,” Dean finishes weakly. He probably should’ve stopped at the grapefruit example.

“So now you’re saying I am an orange,” Cas replies.

“Not the fruit, Cas, the—” Dean starts, but stops at the slightly amused smile Cas is wearing. 

Cas huffs, and leans forward. “Grapefruits,” he repeats carefully. Dean nods.

“D’you see what I’m getting at, here?”

“I think so,” he says, and good. That’s good. Better answer than a ‘no’, at least.

Dean reaches over to pat him on the back. “Just, keep being you, Cas,” he offers. The clench in Cas’s jaw has loosened up. “No need to be anything else.”

Cas stares at him with his bright blue eyes and his widened smile. Their knees are still touching from when Dean bumped them together.

There’s a rustle and the sound of cloth ripping, and Dean blinks up from Cas’s face to see wings, and has seconds to respond to Cas’s opening arms and wings by opening his own arms. 

“Hey, hey, alright,” Dean says in what he hopes is a soothing voice against the warmth wrapped around him. Cas’s hair tickles the side of his face.

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas mumbles into Dean’s ear. He tries to not shiver, and responds with a tight squeeze before they part. Cas’s feathers sweep at his cheeks and down under his chin as his wings fold back up, almost like they’re caressing his face for a second there. He supposes he can’t help it; not like Dean can control every single strand of his hair.

Cas turns the TV off, and Dean cooks them a late dinner. Cas helps with the dishes after, and Dean heat themselves two cups of hot chocolate to sip at.

The mug of red sits on top of the coffe table, forgotten.  

#orange and grapefruit verse #destiel #spn #au #my writing #ficlet #tag game strong with this one :P #alcohol cw #today i'm saying 'screw saving fics in my drafts out of fear' and posting this #i'll add these to AO3 at some point prob after another installment