#also HELLO MUSHROOM!!! HI :DD

[m1d-45]

mans ruthless and only gets the way his master taught him how to be, just with a tad more shame and guilt

(what I mean by that it's that it's a emotional and social reset)

elaborate please

uh thoughts to put on paper- phone. screen. text? uh

yk how once we talked about how albedo would react if his master suddenly came back? how he'd be like "it's not my personal business to know what she has been doing, she was gone and now she's back that's all I need to know" when rhinedottir abandoned him

he responded devoid of emotion towards the subject like all his experience in learning and expressing feelings and his own thoughts stopped and he began at square one, with his master and him as a puppet (robot- synthetic being? but that's beside the point)

so then I thought about what you wrote with him and how he reacted in klee told him about the creator and he knew he was your creation not his master's bc you gave hwe the idea and he was yours

basically I feel that if he killed you and found out you where the creator he'd kinda. just. stop. he'd reset, for lack of a better word. he wasn't good enough to be yours (infact he killed you-) so how could he be good enough as himself? since him wasn't working out maybe he just needed to be what he'd always been. a tool.

- 🍄 (I send this bc this anon must know my thoughts but this was takes directly off my dms and I wrote all of this at 12:14. I colored it bc it seems fun- hi midas you're blue and the creator too)

context these are copy pasted dms between me and mushroom, regarding squid anon and i’s talks abt albedo! talk below the readmore.

oh, kaeya and klee are mentioned to not be on reader’s typical team(or at least not the one they use for commissions, if you use a separate team for those), and neither is albedo, who also isn’t on your main fighting team! or maybe he is and you moved him off because Memories. no other vessels specified, though.

god mushroom i am. we r holding hands rn im-

for context mushroom and i had a chat about how if rhinedottir ever returned he wouldn’t really see a problem with it, as mushroom said just a “she’s back now and that’s what matters, who am i to question her?” kinda deal. the paragraph with klee refers to the second part of abiogenesis wherein (again as mushroom said) albedo realizes that he doesn’t long to rhinedottir, and that he is your creation in actuality.

putting these two ideas together we get pain the concept of a mental reset. it’s as if he’s shot back years in the past, when rhine first abandoned him. except this time it’s worse, it’s so much worse, because he was the one that told you to go- he killed you. he ruined not only his own chance at being redeemed (he always knew he was a monster a threat a danger, khemia runs in his blood- an art born of hubris makes his synthesis hubristic as well, and here he is, icarus) but the entire worlds. who knows when—if?—you’ll return, after all? it took you eons before, when you had a godly body and almost of your powers. but now, now your body is human, now you’re weakened and he just ruined it. will you even heal by the time the heat death of the world comes for them? he doesn’t know. does he want to?

mushroom really put it brilliantly- “he wasn’t good enough to be yours, so how could he be good enough as himself?” and “he responded devoid of emotion towards the subject, like all his experience in learning and expressing feelings and his own thoughts stopped and he began at square one, with his master and him as a puppet.” like im on the floor head in hands mushroom take my blog

albedo 100% has this idea of his ‘utility’ being tied to his worth—have i mentioned my utter and absolute hatred for rhinedottir yet?—so this- like this fucks him up bad man. like for the first week he’s sitting in his lab, trying to work but unable to move, his mind running a mile a minute as his body just.. sits there. sucrose tries to get him to eat, klee tries to drag him for a walk, but he’s hollow.

rhinedottir only came back because he studied alchemy, because he followed her final wish, because he was trying and by some miracle his work was adequate. but you? how could he ever measure up to you? how could he fulfill a request you never posed? how could he live up to your death?

zoom out a bit. the world of teyvat is… stable, somehow, despite the death of its god having taken place on its soil. his machines still report steady ley lines, lisa doesn’t sense any change in elemental activity, and the winds in mondstat are as easy as ever.

why? simple: you still have genshin downloaded.

after your horrific hyper-realistic dream—it has to be a dream, dreams can be realistic right? it had to be, it had to be-—you had kept away from the game for a bit, but you never had the heart to fully delete it. after all… it’s still a fun game. still a wholehearted hobby of yours. still something you enjoy.

still something you love, even as your chest aches with a phantom pain.

after a week, you can think about dragonspine without feeling icy winds bite into your skin, you can remember mondstat with a fond smile instead of a quivering shake. and despite it all… you miss it.

who are you to dislike a game because of your mind, right? and besides, it’s been a week- you need the primos from your commissions at least, right?

and so, after just over a year, the creator’s presence returns to teyvat.

it’s felt as a ripple over the entire earth, the soil itself blooming new flowers as your vessels flicker to where you left them last. your game doesn’t show these, of course, and your vessels don’t notice, too caught up in a confused sort of excitement. the traveller is surprised a god could be so benevolent, and paimon is flying in circles with glee.

teyvat is… exactly as you remember, really. you pick sweetflowers and mint on your way to your commissions—all surprisingly easy, the enemies dissipating quicker than they normally would, but you shrug it off as just your time away. distance makes the heart grow fonder and all that, right?

squirrels and foxes run alongside your character, strangely, and you use your omni—ubiquity nets to copy a few for your teapot. there seems to be so much more detail- birds chirp, your graphics are unusually good, everything is running at a smooth 60 frames…

maybe you missed it more than you thought.

after some consideration, you decide to go to mondstat to collect your rewards. it’s unsettling, being inside a city you remember, but it’s easy enough to shake off. blanche talks about liyue being the largest commercial port. sara calls the day’s recommendation—the steak, as it is every day. marjorie stands outside her shop, and katheryne is at her kiosk.

all is as it should be.

zoom back in again. albedo is dragged from the knight’s headquarters by kaeya and klee, and he raises a hand to shield himself from the light reflecting off the stone. everything’s so… bright. the world seems unusually lively, yet the city is oddly quieter than normal.

“how about we take albedo fish-blasting, huh klee?”

“ooh! can we really?”

albedo is pulled into mondstat’s courtyard, and a minor smile flickers across his face at his sister’s enthusiasm. she pulls him past the fountain, past good hunter, past where the wind comes glory-

his feet freeze to the floor.

there, at the adventurer’s guild kiosk. there, the bright blond hair of the traveller, there, the smile from katheryne as she thanks them- thanks you for completing your commissions.

the traveller had been doing them on their own while you were gone, diligently handing the otherworldly gems off to paimon to give to you. but now… now he can see the bag disappear in golden sparks, going straight to you.

you were back.

another zoom out. you walk away from the kiosk, up towards the alchemy table—unaware of how closely your vessel brushes to albedo, of how tightly kaeya clutches klee’s hand, keeping her still. you go, and he sees you stop at the- at the alchemy table?

timaeus gives him a look from across the courtyard. he can’t bring himself to return it, watching your vessel until they vanish again.

if it weren’t for the hushed call of his name from kaeya, he’d think it never happened at all.

you’d only condensed one batch of resin, so you could use the rest on weeklies. after a cursory glance over your team—you missed this, you missed them—you decide which ones to go and fight, quickly falling back into your groove.

the bosses deal like half their typical damage, provided they even attack at all. really, you’d almost consider rebooting the game if you weren’t done with such easy kills. childe skips his usual taunts—you chalk it up to a glitch—and so does andrius, and the key line blossoms give you the exact drops you want.

resin spent, commissions done, and too drained for exploring, you decide to simply walk around. your memory of mondstat is sharper now, and you barely look at the minimap as you simply walk around. it’s different than in your dreams, and yet so similar.

with a quick stop at a statue of the seven to heal your team of any lost hp, you log out. you could have sworn you heard something whispered in the song of the main menu, but you shrug it off.

you suppose it’s gamer brain.

another zoom in. i swear i’m almost done.

albedo’s in a bit of a daze as he walks, only klee’s hand keeping him from running into rocks.

you.. had returned. to mondstat. and didn’t… you didn’t hate it? the traveller seemed upset when they’d looked over- but that was expected, and their emotions weren’t necessarily yours. but you, you had willingly chosen to collect your rewards there.

when they arrive at starfell valley, klee doesn’t even seem happy to launch her bombs into the water. she simply sits at the edge of the lake, watching the fish swim below.

kaeya sits with her, and albedo is on her other side, but looking at the statue of the seven. when you show up, he almost thinks it’s his imagination, until klee gasps and kaeya’s hand moves to keep her sitting on the bank of the lake.

the statue shimmers as it heals the small scrapes on your team, though you disappear again just as quickly as you appeared.

he stares at where you were, stunned again that he’d be able to feel your aura wash over him for the second time that day. as the golden dust of your teleportation falls to the ground, his empty mind fills with two words, a bud of hope beginning to bloom in his chalk heart.

‘thank you.’

#m1d : [chats] #m1d : [secrets] #🍄 anon #i think i’ll put #🦑 anon #because you deserve to be mentioned in this #idk if my anons scroll through their tags or if this is just some Useless Thing I Do #but. you’re here :) #also HELLO MUSHROOM!!! HI :DD #ALSO. FUCK RHINEDOTTIR. #also also! im blue!!!! :D #also also ALSO not meant to be kaebedo i just thing kaeya would understand the sort of betrayal feeling albedo is experiencing #i understand if you see it like that but not my intention! #also also also also this is shit and i’m sorry but it’s 12:12 so can you hold it against me

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

hhi could i. could i ask if you have any portal ford headcanons im being insane about him right now and your headcanons are So 💥‼️🎉🌈💥/pos

hi hello hows it goin

-he didn't get all of his tattoos in one sitting, and he actually has a few he gave to himself. some of the tattoos look like normal earth tattoos, but theres also a few that have cool effects to them. color-changing, moving slightly, shapeshifting from one creature to another, etc. etc.

-he gave himself a little sailboat tattoo in case he ever lost the photo. he also gave himself an axolotl after he met Jheselbraum

-when he was fresh into the portal, hed join other interdimensional travelers, make companions...he stopped after a while because the grief he felt every time he inevitably lost them became too much. he still misses the ones he did have, though. he gave himself a constellation tattoo to remember them- a star for each one.

-he has perhaps too many tattoos. most of them end up being covered up by scars, though

-speaking of scars- ford lost his right arm sometime while he was in the portal. An "anomaly" bit it off. He has a prosthetic now (in the future, he's going to keep forgetting to mention this to stan. which is. definitely not going to cause any problems at all (sarcastic))

-he has several scars that either look weird (slightly glow-in-the-dark, shimmers, etc.) or healed in strange patterns because they were caused by weapons very much not intended to interact with human flesh

-he has a lot of "speckle" scars all over him. theyre from corrosive rain

-Jheselbraum has been thoroughly established as a sort of secondary mother figure in his mind. She has also been given this role by many, many other versions of Ford. she is the space mom

-he once met a moth version of himself who borrowed a gun from him and never gave it back. hes still upset about that. no, he has not realized the connection

-he once held a full conversation with another version of stan without noticing who he was talking to. in his defense, it was dark out

-at some point, he developed a tapetum lucidum and nictitating membranes. this is the incredibly self-indulgent biology-hyperfixation-induced headcanon

-he thinks he can handle smoke and toxic air better because of how much time hes spent not being able to breathe properly. its actually made him more sensitive to things like that

-he has gotten better at not being poisoned though. this comes from years of eating random mushrooms and plants and bug-adjacent creatures. this doesnt apply to raw meat as much, but he can definitely handle it better than most other humans

-every now and then, the hyperfixation excitement will outweigh how horrible he feels all the time and he'll just end up staring at some sort of weird creature and taking mental notes about it for a really long time

-sometimes he'll name random creatures he sees just to kill time. waiting for your food to finish cooking? give your local fish-bird-thing a name

-he doesnt know this, but hes actually seen a few creatures that are considered cryptids in those dimensions

-his favorite dimensions are the ones filled with wildlife and starry skies and vibrant colors. theyre not nearly as common as youd think they are

-hes gotten more used to speaking non-earth languages than earth-languages. as such, hes started using lots of phrases that have...interesting translations in english

-he forgets how to speak sometimes. it used to be more distressing, but he doesnt typically come across many creatures that can understand language anyway. its more of an annoyance than anything at this point

-hes gotten really good at mimicking the calls of other creatures. really good. possibly too good (he will use this power for evil in the future. to terrorize his brother with seagull noises)

-this is technically post-portal, but he adapts the creatures hes seen into homebrew enemies and races in his DD&MD campaigns

-also post-portal, but he'll sometimes forget that that weird thing hes looking at is. yknow. weird and not just a normal part of life in this dimension. this is one of the two reasons why he asks stan to point out anomalies to him

#thank ya for sending an ask :D #gravity falls #ford pines #stanford pines

[tubboslittlebee]

𐐪𐑂 Umbrella

summary: Tubbo asks how y/n and Ranboo met

warning(s): none

character(s): c!Ranboo x reader

a/n: just something I thought about QwQ, I need ideas to write so feel free to make requests :DD

"Can you tell me how you guys met? I'm very curious about it", You, Tubbo and Ranboo were chilling at the lake when Tubbo asked the sudden question."Well, it doesn't have a whole story behind it so you don't have to know really" "Tell me now" Tubbo pouts, "It's no big deal so we could tell him Ranboo". "Okayy"

It was a rainy day, you were walking around looking for woods to upgrade your house. While chopping down a tree, you spotted a tall guy sitting alone under a big mushroom staring at you. Curious, you walk over to him, "Hello? What are you doing here?" "It's raining..I'll get wet.." He seems scared and worried, "Well, it's just water falling from the sky, just a little bit wet you'll be fine", He stops talking and turns the other way to avoid eye contact with you. You thought he was weird so you keep on chopping trees. The rain was still pouring even after a long time, when you look under the mushroom, he's still there, he's still staring at you. "Hey, I have an umbrella, I can share it with you and take you home if you want" You gave him a blue umbrella that Ghostbur gave you, He nods and took it from you. You guys begin walking to his place, under the same umbrella, "I'm Ranboo, sorry for being strange a few moments ago, I was worried that I can't get home" He smiles, "Oh it's fine, can I ask why you were scared of getting wet? I mean if you don't mind" "Well, basically I get hurt if I interact with any kind of water, I can only interact with them if I have full armour on- ouch" While talking, some raindrops dropped on his shoulder when he tries to not make you wet. "Oh, if that's the problem, you can have the umbrella all to yourself, I don't really need it" You pushes the umbrella to Ranboo's side, "But you'll get wet" "It's fine, I can't get hurt by water and also, being a little wet is fine" You look up at the tall guy finding he's having the biggest and sweetest smile, "Thank you".

"And then we get to know each other more and then became very close friends, that's all" Ranboo sigh. "AWWWWW, that's a cute story" Tubbo smiles finding out the wholesome story of how you and Ranboo met, "I gotta say, it is pretty cute".

#sora is super dumb #dream smp x reader #mcyt x reader #ranboo x reader

[soysaucevictim]

Late to post, but here’s Week 2 of Spellbound.

-

Aug. 22

I woke up around 11AM.

Did some video editing and started uploading the footage of me drawing that Remus pixel portrait of Remus.

The did some dishes and made today’s Hello Fresh Meal. Mushroom Penne with truffle cream. I liked it to a middling extent (I’m enjoying truffle more myself, but I recognize how intense of a flavor it is). But yeah. It was met with a “meh”.

Spent a few hours updating some logs and documenting last few day’s of events. Then, I did today’s exercise.

First, today’s DD. 40 climbers with EC. Pretty fun and breezy. I tried to land lightly on my feet this time - just to feel graceful like that.

Last, Chapter 7 of the SbP. I was to charge and cast “Healing Level 1 Spell“ to help an NPC out. I rested about 1′ in between sets - it was mostly breezy yoga... mostly. Glad the up/down dogs were done in pairs, the child’s pose was a nice breather too. Really felt the fatigue build-up when it came to that plank hold. But it was pretty satisfying to transition between exercises as smoothly as possible!

Did some online shopping and watched YouTube before bed... late again.

-

Aug. 23

I woke up after 11AM.

Did some chatting and whatnot before getting in today’s exercise early (which was welcomingly chill.)

First, today’s DD. 1′ plank punches with EC. I counted exactly 60 reps today, so I’m fairly happy about that pace!

Last, Chapter 8 of the SbP. I was to charge and cast “Tracking Spell“. It was nice to just do meditation again. This required 10′ and I focused on breathing from the belly as best I could. Mind wandered a lil but that’s just how it goes. It was still pretty relaxing!

Chill was disrupted by a transient health scare with Dad... threw my entire day off. Was supposed to be movie night, but between anxiety about that and fear that things would interrupt movie time. But chatting and browsing stuff helped a bit.

I got to bed obscenely late again.

-

Aug. 24

I woke up around 2PM.

Had technical issues but more notably there was a pretty loud/angry argument bro had with the Uncle about his negligent cooking and mess-cleaning leading to the kitchen sink being backed-up.

There was shoving involved. Fucked me up mentally for a good while, if I’m totally honest... I tried doing some Sides analysis and chatted for a distraction, before doing my exercise.

First, today’s DD. 40 scorpion twists with EC. A little less fun to do with a slightly full stomach. But oh well. I like the exercise well enough.

Last, Chapter 9 of the SbP. I was told to charge a couple more spells.

First had to be “Shield“. Variable rest times, today. I could feel the jitters start to melt as I went along, so that was more than welcome. Some ankle complaint noted from the jumping lunges, but at least it wasn’t very many of those.

Second was just any attack spell - I charged “Wind Blast“. Pretty variable rest here, too. Kinda didn’t want to do a lot of floorwork today - but I do think I hit the arms a bit harder for it. Still gotta be mindful of your elbows for plank rotations, too.

That helped dial down the jitters I was having for a bit... so did chatting and trying to sketch a fan art idea out.

But I still wound up pulling an allnighter because I was an anxious mess today... I didn’t really get much done other than some rambling on the fandom blog and watching YouTube...

-

Aug. 25

This morning I did some dishes, made a trip reservation, ranted on Twitter about sources of distress before taking a couple hour nap.

Spent most of day chatting and browsing stuff.

It was a bit late, but I did get in some exercise today.

First, today’s DD. 2′ single leg hops, without EC. Had to drop at 1′30″ mark, rested a few seconds to finish up. Only counted the the longer set’s reps - 120. Honestly, sleep-deprivation REALLY didn’t help.

Last, Chapter 10 of the SbP. Casted the “Shield” spell, though I’m not doing the probability check, the roll I got was a success anyways.

Then I was to charge & cast, “Healing Level 1 Spell“ again. Whoo boy... eating jalapeno poppers was NOT the smartest decision shortly before this. Gave myself some heartburn and coughing because of said heartburn. But I powered through that. :I

Then, I hit the showers and washed my mask. Browsed tumblr for a bit before hitting the sack. Happy but unsurprised by managing the yellow zone. Exhausted and I had somewhere to be tomorrow.

-

Aug. 26

I woke up around 11AM.

Went to Seeking Safety Group. Went alright.

Got home and spent some hours streaming/making that glitchy, hellish mash-up I did for silly reason. Also spent time chatting and browsing about.

Very late, but I managed to get in my exercise around 11PM, tonight.

First, today’s DD. 2′ side leg raise with EC (1′/1′). This was pretty breezy to get through. Get more out of this if you can make a right angle with side of hip to floor.

Last, Chapter 11 of the SbP. I was to charge and cast the “Super Strength Spell“. Variable to max amount of rest taken between sets, this time. Tried to make the push-ups decent. But it was pretty easy to get through this in a timely fashion.

Spent rest of my night doing Sides analysis stuff. Got to bed obscenely late... only saving grace was that it was before noon. :/

-

Aug. 27

I woke up around noon.

I spent most of my day chatting and doing that Sides analysis stuff (interpreting pairing platonically positively.) I wound up writing like 2.3k words on that instead of fic writing... woops.

Did my exercise late.

Spent vast majority of my day working on a positive analysis of all the Sides pairings [platonic intent], set to post tomorrow. Had a lot of fun chatting about it too. I wrote like 2.3k words on it... orz

First, today’s DD. 2′ O-Pose with EC. That definitely got me trembling the whole way through. Things got real after 1′ and legs started to feel like dropping in the last 20″. But I’m really happy I managed it. This is a personal favorite exercise. Very meditative!

Last, Chapter 12 of the SbP. I was to charge and cast the “Invisibility Spell.“ Max rest. The plank rotations were the hardest part - everything else was pretty manageable.

I did get to bed too late, almost in the yellow zone.

-

Aug. 28

I woke up a bit after 9AM.

I had to go to my psychiatrist appointment today. Went alright... got a chance to share that scary!Remus art with him. I did mention the acute shit that’s been happening... but also my more positive coping stuff.

Got home and when the Hello Fresh arrived - I did dishes and made today’s meal. Italian noodle soup. This was another chicken sausage based soup - pretty enjoyable. Bro liked the kale soup more. But at least I think it was more accessible for pops and his lack of teeth.

I was already tired at that point... but I had to help deal with kitchen sink problems I didn’t realize were an issue. Whatever the Uncle did to “fix“ the sink broke it and it was leaking the entire time I was doing dishes! Fucking hell.

Had to take another shower after that.

Active rest day, only devoted exercise was going to be  today’s DD. 40 raised leg circles with EC. Not a fan of neck strain. But doable. Just glad it was only that with my energy levels.

Got to bed later than yesterday.

#adventures with fitness #adventures with hello fresh #family shit/

[lukeruatoka92-blog]

What Are Some Suggestions To Fix Sleeping Addiction?

I Am Addicted To Sleep And I Am Not Able To Do My Work And It Pisses Me Off Very Much. What Are Some Suggestions To Fix This?

How can I pass an urine drug test one day after I took 3 hits?

What do you do when you have a drug addicted relative and several family members that are enabling them?

Signs of an abusive person can usually be found after a few dates if you pay attention. And when I put that down that becomes a part of your permanent record, it will follow you for the rest of your life. Those who are dependent on drugs may quit in the face of aversive events such as a required appearance before the court because of an arrest or a spouse that has had enough and puts her foot down and gives the abuser a choice between her and the drug. Hello,Yes, as with everything in life used or consumed excessively.You can get addicted to everything.Now, it really makes me eager to know how to quit an addiction? Drug use always has the risk of turning into an addiction. Then wait by the door to be sure they don't just walk right back out. They take pains to tell us that their habit is just normal like the others. I'm aware of the different trains of thought on co-dependency. Mind you they plead GUILTY to fraudulently pushing OxyContin in rural communities that they felt would not question the addictive properties of the meds and also lies to physicians saying is had not potential for abuse or addiction. This means social, psychological as well as physical help.Good luck. If so, work on getting closer to a friend or two, or even a family member. Our press finds these purple-cow stories and publishes them because they are exceptional, not typical. Two seperate portions of a drug or alcohol addict need cure. Last, but not least, realize they might be in the alcohol or drug Would the decriminalization of all drugs work in the U.S.? center for a while. Later in 2012, they published Return to Investment: Evidence-Based Options to Improve Statewide Outcomes. But, it wont work if the addict is not willing to change.

Should we ban personal use of computers, and find a way to regulate their use like a drug?

Be aware of your frustration level and fight it one minute at a time if necessary. Two of my friends had to experience the worst moments possible that a magic mushroom trip could provide. You know others stay clean and sober through therapy and support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous and narcotics anonymous. In some cases, these people turn to the use of drugs and alcohol because they are deeply bothered by some problems in their life. The only criteria for removing a child should be neglect, violence or harm to that child greater than that caused by tossing it into the cold hard foster system.EDIT: To give a personal perspective, my mother was seriously addicted to tranquilisers throughout my childhood as were many women of that time.

If you are already prone to anxiety and ADHD, some behaviors are already something you tend towards: restlessness, trouble concentrating or focusing, tooth grinding, etc. I use to talk to my dad every day to maybe every two months and my husband working for him now, it makes my blood boil. I guess he was living there, but he knew our practice schedule so he would sneak out before we were going to show up. The drug or drink is better tham remembered. "WoW". Don't call them to stay friends, don't acknowledge their birthdays or catastrophes regarding them or their relatives or anyone, don't be available for favors. Ultimately Law Enforcement became the little yellow warning sticker on a ladder bought from Wal-Mart. These exceptions may include if you confess to abuse of a child, or if you are contemplating committing mass murder or suicide. Someone interrupted his story at that point and he was needed by a patient. Prescription opiates are supposed to go only to patients in great pain, but it's super easy for a doctor to make an extra buck writing extra scrips.Cannabis isn't supposed to go to anybody, but it's super easy to you get the idea. The autopsy and death certificate stated unknown/natural causes. To this I could provide boringly lot of examples yet, in consideration of your time, I hope I will be permitted to introduce you to a brief one.Summer time. The drug rehab at KY works in the above way. Nothing can cure it, only you cando it.If this is clear to you then there are many tools such as hypnosis which can support you in your healing.But YOU have to do it. Has somebody told you that they overspent on rehab? They are known by name, people might already know what they say every time they appear, and so on. But on top of that, its not scary, or lonely, or tiring. A separate narcotics anonymous group may be running in your area if sponsored by a treatment center.Because of the I/DD diagnosis most countries will offer treatment for free through National Mental Health agencies.I'm uncertain which country you're from.

#addiction

[dae-seeme-rollin]

DD ILY HAVE THE BEE MOVIE SCRIPT

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can’t. I’ll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I’m excited. Here’s the graduate. We’re very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B’s. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That’s me! - Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I’d make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I’m glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I’m not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don’t waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That’s why we don’t need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp… under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of… …9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it’s just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it’ll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as… Honey! - That girl was hot. - She’s my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we’re all cousins. - Right. You’re right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it’s done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you’ll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn’t know that. What’s the difference? You’ll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven’t had one day off in 27 million years. So you’ll just work us to death? We’ll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! “What’s the difference?” How can you say that? One job forever? That’s an insane choice to have to make. I’m relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We’re bees. We’re the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don’t know. But you know what I’m talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I’ve never seen them this close. They know what it’s like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don’t come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You’re monsters! You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don’t know. Their day’s not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That’s more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It’s just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren’t they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let’s have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I’d knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn’t it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We’re hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you’re not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We’re going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you’re interested in? - Well, there’s a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It’s a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn’t right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That’s a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son’s not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I’m not trying to be funny. You’re not funny! You’re going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You’re gonna be a stirrer? - No one’s listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I’m gonna get an ant tattoo! Let’s open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”! I’m so proud. - We’re starting work today! - Today’s the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal… - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them’s yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What’d you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What’s available? Restroom attendant’s open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you’re on. I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey’s always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He’s dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That’s life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should… Barry? Barry! All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine… What happened to you? Where are you? - I’m going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You’re gonna die! You’re crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone’s feeling brave, there’s a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted. It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy’s in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That’s awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let’s move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I’m out! I can’t believe I’m out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It’s got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It’s a little bit of magic. That’s amazing. Why do we do that? That’s pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don’t we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You’re reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don’t know, but I’m loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It’s a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama’s little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don’t think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you’re about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There’s a bee in the car! - Do something! - I’m driving! - Hi, bee. - He’s back here! He’s going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don’t move, he won’t sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow… the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan’t fly in rain. Oan’t fly in rain. Oan’t fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don’t need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This… Drapes! That is diabolical. It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What’s number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don’t go for that… …kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn’t talk to them. They’re out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they’re flabbergasted, can’t believe what I say. There’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out. I don’t remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don’t kill him! You know I’m allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I’m just saying all life has value. You don’t know what he’s capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I’m not scared of him. It’s an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It’s a bee law. You’re not supposed to talk to a human. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’ve got to. Oh, I can’t do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can’t. How should I start it? “You like jazz?” No, that’s no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I’m sorry. - You’re talking. - Yes, I know. You’re talking! I’m so sorry. No, it’s OK. It’s fine. I know I’m dreaming. But I don’t recall going to bed. Well, I’m sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you’re a bee! I am. And I’m not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn’t for you… I had to thank you. It’s just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I’m talking with a bee. - Yeah. I’m talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I’m grateful. I’ll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. “Mama, Dada, honey.” You pick it up. - That’s very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn’t laugh, we’d cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway… Oan I… …get you something? - Like what? I don’t know. I mean… I don’t know. Ooffee? I don’t want to put you out. It’s no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It’s just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don’t be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn’t. - Have some. - No, I can’t. - Oome on! I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don’t help. You look great! I don’t know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He’s making the tie in the cab as they’re flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, “Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?” Is that a bee joke? That’s the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don’t know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can’t do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look… There’s my hive right there. See it? You’re in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I’m right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It’s like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I’ll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it’s no trouble. Sorry I couldn’t finish it. If I did, I’d be up the rest of my life. Are you…? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then… I guess I’ll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again… for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but… Anyway… This can’t possibly work. He’s all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can’t believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don’t. - How’d you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I’m glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your “experience.” Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well… - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I’m not attracted to spiders. I know it’s the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can’t get by that face. So who is she? She’s… human. No, no. That’s a bee law. You wouldn’t break a bee law. - Her name’s Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She’s so nice. And she’s a florist! Oh, no! You’re dating a human florist! We’re not dating. You’re flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin’ stripey! And that’s not what they eat. That’s what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It’s bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up… Sit down! …really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We’re us. There’s us and there’s them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There’s no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He’s in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It’s been three days! Why aren’t you working? I’ve got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You’re barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father’s talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I’m talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I’ll catch up. Don’t be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We’re still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn’t respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don’t listen! I’m not listening to this. Sorry, I’ve gotta go. - Where are you going? - I’m meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can’t decide? Bye. I just hope she’s Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that’s every florist’s dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I’ve got one. How come you don’t fly everywhere? It’s exhausting. Why don’t you run everywhere? It’s faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That’s insane! You don’t have that? We have Hivo, but it’s a disease. It’s a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It’s usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It’s a bug. He’s not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic ‘N’ Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You’ve really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I’ll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don’t have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it’s hard to make it! There’s heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It’s organic. - It’s our-ganic! It’s just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don’t know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You’ve taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it’s on sale?! I’m getting to the bottom of this. I’m getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I’ll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You’re busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you’ll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who’s your supplier? I don’t understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You’re too late! It’s ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they’re on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You’re not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I’m going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It’s your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I’m Oarl Kasell. But don’t kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they’re getting it. I mean, that honey’s ours. - Bees hang tight. - We’re all jammed in. It’s a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you’re out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don’t want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood’s about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I’d catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it’s pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee’s got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That’s the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. “They make the honey, and we make the money”? Oh, my! What’s going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn’t last too long. Do you know you’re in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That’s a man in women’s clothes! That’s a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There’s hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That’s a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That’s a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He’s been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn’t stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it’s true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That’s a killer. There’s only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive’s only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I’m Bob Bumble. - And I’m Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we’ll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we’re talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, “I’m a kid from the hive. I can’t do this”? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I’m from, we’d never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It’s a common name. Next week… He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots… Next week… Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard ‘em. Bear Week next week! They’re scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She’s 81. Honey, her backhand’s a joke! I’m not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I’m helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we’re really busy working. But it’s our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting… - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you’re three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that’s had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit’s a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I’m done with the humans, they won’t be able to say, “Honey, I’m home,” without paying a royalty! It’s an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It’s pretty big, isn’t it? I can’t believe how many humans don’t work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What’s the matter? - I don’t know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn’t the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you’re representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson… you’re representing all the bees of the world? I’m kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we’re ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man’s divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn’t some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there’s no trickery here. I’m just an ordinary bee. Honey’s pretty important to me. It’s important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we’re the little guys! I’m hoping that, after this is all over, you’ll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he’d dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don’t imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn’t hear you. - No. - No. Because you don’t free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They’re very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How’d you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that’s enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you’ve never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven’t. No, you haven’t. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I’m feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say… Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That’s not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you’re devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that’s ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn’t. But is this what it’s come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don’t have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn’t a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn’t someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You’re all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury’s on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I’m a florist. Right. Well, here’s to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn’t think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but… the battery. I didn’t want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There’s a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you’re quite a tennis player. I’m not much for the game myself. The ball’s a little grabby. That’s where I usually sit. Right… there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn’t really a special skill. You think I don’t see what you’re doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That’s just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I’m going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I’ve just about had it with your little mind games. - What’s that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that’s a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can’t seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I’m wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I’ve got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You’re bluffing. - Am I? Surf’s up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don’t even like honey! I don’t eat it! We need to talk! He’s just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I’ve met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you’re one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night… My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I’m sorry about all that. I know it’s got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn’t overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he’s considered one of the best lawyers… Yeah. Layton, you’ve gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it’s gonna be all over. Don’t worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don’t like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I’ll ask you what I think we’d all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We’re friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute… Are you her little… …bedbug? I’ve seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn’t your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but… - So those aren’t your real parents! - Oh, Barry… - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You’re an illegitimate bee, aren’t you, Benson? He’s denouncing bees! Don’t y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I’m going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don’t! It’s what he wants! Oh, I’m hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can’t treat them like equals! They’re striped savages! Stinging’s the only thing they know! It’s their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can’t feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I… I blew the whole case, didn’t I? It doesn’t matter. What matters is you’re alive. You could have died. I’d be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there’s a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can’t explain it. It was all… All adrenaline and then… and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I’m sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We’re just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don’t know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn’t sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don’t check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don’t smoke. Right. Bees don’t smoke. Bees don’t smoke! But some bees are smoking. That’s it! That’s our case! It is? It’s not over? Get dressed. I’ve gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you’ve done step correctly, you’re ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it’s interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don’t make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about… Your Honor, haven’t these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court’s valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I’m afraid I’m going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery’s motion. But you can’t! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It’s a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn’t hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, “Smoking or non?” Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He’s playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I’m OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won’t have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You’ll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery’s right? - What do you mean? We’ve been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we’ll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We’re all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He’ll have nauseous for a few hours, then he’ll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames… But it’s just a prance-about stage name! …unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan’t breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there’s gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We’ve never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We’re shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn’t believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What’s going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They’re home. They don’t know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn’t? It’s the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now… Now I can’t. I don’t understand why they’re not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They’re doing nothing. It’s amazing. Honey really changes people. You don’t have any idea what’s going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They’re all wilting. Doesn’t look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I’m gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn’t think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It’s notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That’s our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course… The human species? So if there’s no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn’t it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I’ll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry… sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They’ve moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It’s the last chance I’ll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I’m sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can’t do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That’s why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I’ve ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I’ve made it worse. Actually, it’s completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it’s greater than my previous ideas combined. I don’t want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they’ve got back here with what we’ve got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They’ve got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It’s real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I’m the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I’m getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let’s see what this baby’ll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic… …without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there’s no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It’s part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we’re lucky, we’ll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It’s got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we’ll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They’ll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I’d like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I’m in a real situation. - What’d you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don’t freak out! My entire species… What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I’m an attorney! - Who’s an attorney? Don’t move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One’s bald, one’s in a boat, they’re both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one’s flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What’s your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I’m a florist from New York. Where’s the pilot? He’s unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who’s that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It’s got giant wings, huge engines. I can’t fly a plane. - Why not? Isn’t John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We’re headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory… That’s Barry! …is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There’s a bee on that plane. I’m quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They’ve done enough damage. But isn’t he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn’t be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small… Haven’t we heard this a million times? “The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense.” - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We’re going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That’s why I want to get bees back to working together. That’s the bee way! We’re not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn’t so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we’re not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let’s get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I’d do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don’t have to yell. I’m not yelling! We’re in a lot of trouble. It’s very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It’s not a tone. I’m panicking! I can’t do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it’s my turn. How is the plane flying? I don’t know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let’s drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can’t see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It’s all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I’m feeling something. - What? - I don’t know. It’s strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We’re going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That’s it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I’m aiming at the flower! That’s a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This’s the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don’t be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we’re not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We’re the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we’re gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We’re bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You’ve earned this. Yeah! I’m a Pollen Jock! And it’s a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That’s our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now’s the time. I got a feeling we’ll be working late tonight! Here’s your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who’s next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don’t forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me. And I don’t see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I’m sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I’m late. He’s a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can’t get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You’re a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who’s next? All right, scramble, jocks! It’s time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let’s just stop for a second. Hold it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I’m not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

i have one thing to add.. I CAN’T 🐝LEIVE THIS (ily too)

#submission